This was filmed on a Monday. i've been living with it for years, but i had another relapse. i had been feeling a certain way since i got back to New York, but i was able to manage, more or less. And then... the crash happened. it's not a matter of if it's gonna happen, it's when. And it's been a number of years since i had a crash this low. You cannot control when it happens, and it affects every ounce of you physically, mentally, etc. Most people around you do not seem to understand, so you feel pretty isolated. i don't wish this experience on anyone.
When in the midst of the lowest point it feels like you are in a tiny box and cannot get out, though you are screaming. No one can hear you. To manage it i have to focus on my breathing, and i have to do my best to think of positive things, like the sun shining, or cats, or babies.
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