Fuck You Water is ethically sourced H2O by prestigious globally recognised entrepreneurs - Temple Of Fuckyouery. Each unique bottle is tipped to the brim with naturally wet aqua (sometimes known as council pop) pumped directly from our fully sustainable and infinaitely replenishible spring, located in the basement water closet of our secretly located HQ and base for our operations.
It was back in the year of Hotline Bling and Prince Kanye's announcement, running for the Sith leadership, that we discovered the entirely non-medically-tested health benefits of clean, clear water from the downstairs tap. Witnesses reported weight loss, increased labido, higher brain function and better awareness of one's purpose in those who became reliant on this liquid based resource.
At first our concern was that the flow of this minute waterfall would simply dry up to a trickle but then!- To everyone's astonishment, the flow, only seemed to get stronger!
This naturally occurring spring has been flowing now for almost two years straight. Truly a miracle of the gods (kek be upon him).
It was in 2016 that we made the decision to go into full production, and to deliver to the rest of the world, this essential nectar of life, stumbled upon under our very feet. We began to speak with local business and community leaders in an effort to find the highest quality of vessel to carry our new branded water. After costly and painstakingly thorough consultation we came to the agreement that our brand needed to send a message to the refreshments industry, taking the lead on eco/enviro-producing. Turns out that we had an abundance of competitors - at all levels in the manufacture, distribution and sales markets.
Look hard enough and you will find thousands of companies selling 'bottled water' to the people! Only thing being that they don't have (as we do) an unlimited supply of ecologically sustainable spring water. These 'monsters' create waste in abundance. Once their customers are done with their product - these companies fling the bottle out to sea.
In our most brilliant moment we deduced that we could cut costs whilst also saving the planet;- if only we could 'Re-use' our competitors bottles as entirely 'new' vessels for our very own medicinal drink. We hired a fleet of professionals to get to work, sweeping our cities clean of discarded bottles - that we may fill them with our own unique product! Fuck You Water was born and a brand icon held its head high to the world!
Each bottle we reclaim is soaked overnight to avoid contamination and fed throughout a complex system of processing from tap to table. You will notice the love and care we put into our labelling also! Nimble hands write each letter in with care and attention to detail. No smelly printing processes here, this is artisan stuff!
ORDER YOUR FUCK YOU WATER TODAY TO EXPERIENCE THE BENEFITS OF INTRODUCING H2O INTO YOUR DIET. YOU WILL BE AMAZED!!!
