The Mamaluke - Episode 3: You Dirty Rat (2012) - TV Series - video Dailymotion

Film Gorillas

“The Mamaluke” is a single camera situation comedy about a  bumbling but likable guy named Lou, who tries to make his friends  and neighbors believe he’s a mafioso. But, in reality, he’s merely a  schlep down at the local social club frequented by the real  wiseguys. And, with his sharp-witted, sardonic wife, Marie, two  grown kids and a wacky live-in mother-in-law who constantly  remind him that he’s not ‘Don Corleone’, it’s the perfect recipe for  an original, fresh and enjoyable TV series concept!    And in episode #3, “You Dirty Rat!”, Lou strongly suspectsthat Grandma’s new boyfriend isn’t quite who he claims tobe—a rival mob boss perhaps?    Directed By: Mark Riccardi    Writer:  Ben Fiore    Stars: Johnny Williams, Veronica Alicino, Nicole Cinaglia

Transcript

00:30♪

00:35♪

00:40♪

00:45♪

00:50♪

00:55♪

01:00Whoa, did you remember the bread?

01:03♪

01:08Bread.

01:11♪

01:14My old man was having a tough week.

01:16Yeah, there was some normal stuff, like mom

01:18yapping in his ear about something he didn't do.

01:20Or my sister, Gina, just...

01:22Well, just being my sister, Gina.

01:24It all started with this guy, Lorenzo.

01:27That old-timer smooching on my grandma.

01:30Looks innocent enough, right?

01:32Well, in my pop's world,

01:34innocent can turn ugly really quick.

01:37♪

01:42♪

01:47♪

01:52♪

01:57♪

02:02♪

02:05The day started like the dozen or so before it.

02:08Grandma and Lorenzo on the couch, going at it.

02:10Gina and I grossed out as we tried to eat breakfast.

02:13My old man thundering down the stairs without his shorts.

02:16My pops and grandma arguing over what's decent.

02:19Lorenzo making a wisecrack about my pop's weight.

02:22My dad exploding.

02:23My mom rushing him out the door.

02:25My mom apologizing to Lorenzo for pop's behavior.

02:28And then it was downhill from there.

02:30♪

02:33Damn!

02:34Gotta fly.

02:35♪

02:36Not a problem, Lou.

02:38I can take you anywhere you need to go.

02:40That's not necessary there, Rico Suave.

02:42I'll have my son change it.

02:44Paulie!

02:45Oh, no, come on, Lou.

02:46Let me take you.

02:47Give us a chance for us to get to know each other better.

02:49Could you see well enough to drive?

02:51Please.

02:52Of course.

02:53Because I know you don't see well enough to date.

02:56Oh, come on.

02:57Come on, Lou.

02:58Everything will be fine.

02:59You see, it'll be okay.

03:00I'll take you anywhere you want to go.

03:01I'll take good care of you.

03:02You'll see, it'll be fine.

03:03Come on.

03:04♪

03:07♪

03:10Got any Sinatra in this thing?

03:12Sinatra?

03:13Nah.

03:14He's got no passion.

03:15I prefer Andy Williams.

03:17Andy Williams?

03:18Yeah.

03:19Andy Williams wasn't an Andy Williams fan.

03:21I find his work very soothing.

03:23It calms me.

03:24Yeah.

03:25Puts you to sleep.

03:26No, quite the contrary.

03:27It excites me.

03:28Do I dare say enlightens me?

03:31Does it enlighten you

03:32that you have absolutely no taste in music?

03:35Sinatra's work, if you can call it that,

03:37is childish and frivolous.

03:41You should spend your last day

03:43lost in Hoboken.

03:45Hmm.

03:46You're a funny, funny man, Lou.

03:48♪

03:55♪

04:00Really like the number three in the fifth race.

04:04I see that one now.

04:08Charlie Licks Nuts.

04:11Hmm?

04:12Charlie Likes Muts.

04:18I thought that was a weird name for a horse.

04:20Get your eyes checked.

04:23♪

04:28♪

04:33♪

04:38♪

04:43♪

04:47Hi, pal.

04:48How you doing?

04:51Right here.

04:53Make yourself look busy.

04:55All right.

04:56Everything okay?

04:58Just look busy.

05:00All right.

05:03Bring me the Mama Luke.

05:05♪

05:07Let's go.

05:08Boss wants to talk to you.

05:10♪

05:13All right, boss.

05:14Listen, I would have been here earlier.

05:16Sit down!

05:18♪

05:27It's been brought to my attention

05:29that you're running with another group.

05:31I don't understand.

05:33He was seen socializing with Mickey Rodolfo.

05:37Mickey Rodolfo?

05:39Oh, this guy plays as dumb as he looks.

05:41He's part of the Cellini crew downtown.

05:44I don't know anything about any Cellini crew downtown.

05:47I saw you get out of the old man's car

05:50and listening to Andy Williams.

05:53Oh.

05:54No, no, no.

05:56That's Lorenzo.

05:58That guy's a nobody.

06:00He's hanging out with my mother-in-law.

06:02Maybe he doesn't want you to know who he is.

06:05Maybe he's a fox in sheep's clothing.

06:09You mean a wolf in sheep's clothing.

06:11Yeah, that's right.

06:13You get confused a lot, don't you?

06:15Hey, don't judge a book by its price, huh?

06:17Let's not get the hell out of here.

06:19Listen, enough!

06:21The point is, he's using you to get to us.

06:26I mean, with all due respect, you got this all wrong here.

06:29This damn Lorenzo?

06:31He's kissing my mother-in-law.

06:35How many layers of sheep's clothing you need to do that?

06:38That's not Lorenzo.

06:40It's Mickey Rodolfo.

06:41And there was no room for betrayal,

06:43so there's no room for you.

06:46Me?

06:47You've been let go, shoemaker.

06:49Your services are no longer needed.

06:54Maybe if you do away with Mickey Rodolfo,

06:59you'll come back in.

07:01Maybe.

07:05Maybe.

07:12You're gonna miss that guy, Ziti.

07:14Look, he cut it last week.

07:16Huh?

07:17Sure.

07:24You know, some people might think my pops was crazy

07:26for considering the boss's request.

07:28Problem was, there was no way he was going to do this himself.

07:31Nor did he have the necessary connection

07:33for someone else to do it for him.

07:35But he knew the boss did.

07:37And he knew where he kept that information.

07:39Hearing it from the guys was one thing,

07:41and as much as he trusted them, he still wasn't sure.

07:44And then there was Grandma.

07:46She seemed happy.

07:47And as long as she was happy, she was out of his hair.

07:49Regardless, he definitely needed more proof.

07:52Hey, don't throw food in my house.

07:54My house?

07:55My house?

07:56Marie, where's she going with that?

07:58Lou, remember where that down payment on the house came from?

08:01So?

08:02Well, the mortgage should be in her name then, no?

08:04Marie, I'm not going anywhere.

08:06Well, the mortgage should be in her name then, no?

08:08Marie, this was a wonderful meal.

08:11Oh, thank you, Lorenzo.

08:13Lou wouldn't kill you to give me a compliment now and then.

08:15Please.

08:16Hey.

08:17Uh, excuse me.

08:18I got something here I need to take care of.

08:20Come on.

08:28Hello.

08:29Thank you for returning my call.

08:37I want you to cut down a tree for me.

08:40When you come to Moble Ward next time.

08:45That's right.

08:46The big fat one.

08:49Yeah.

08:50It has to be done.

08:52I don't need anything to get in my way.

08:55I have big plans.

08:58Well, one of the others might have to go eventually as well.

09:01We'll just start with the fat one.

09:05When you're done, just chop it up and take it away.

09:08I don't need any messes.

09:14Marie, Marie.

09:17What's going on with you, Lou?

09:18We've got a big problem.

09:20Oh, what else is new?

09:22Lorenzo.

09:23He's gonna wipe me.

09:25My mother's boyfriend?

09:26He's like 70-something years old.

09:27Yeah, yeah.

09:28The more experience to do things like this.

09:30Come on, Lou.

09:31You're overreacting.

09:32No, no.

09:33I'm telling you.

09:34Lorenzo, he's with the Cellini crew downtown, you know?

09:37No, I don't know.

09:38He owns a hardware store.

09:40Listen, I didn't believe it at first.

09:42But I just heard him in the bathroom.

09:44He's gonna whack me and then all of you.

09:55See what I mean?

09:56I gotta whack him before he whacks me.

09:59Lou, you know as much about whacking someone as you do about taking Zumba.

10:03How many times I gotta tell you?

10:05You're not a mobster and neither is Lorenzo.

10:17Yeah.

10:19I've got a problem.

10:20I need help.

10:29No.

10:37So.

10:39You the guy?

10:40Yeah, I'm the guy.

10:43How'd you find me?

10:45I know a lot of people who know a lot of people.

10:50Yeah, I know a lot of people too.

10:52But chances are we know the same people.

10:57Yeah.

10:59So how do we do this thing?

11:00You give me half now.

11:02And then you give me the other half when I hit the target.

11:05Just like that, huh?

11:07Just like that.

11:09Unless, of course, you have a special request.

11:13I mean, I could shoot body parts in any combination that you'd like.

11:19Hmm.

11:20So many choices, huh?

11:23Yeah, like the 31 flavors.

11:29Sure.

11:31So give me the money now and a picture of the target.

11:39Here it is.

11:44Don't worry, it's all there.

11:54Oh my God.

11:56What?

11:57You need a tissue or something?

11:59Oh my God.

12:03More like a bathtub.

12:05This man in the picture, he reminds me of my papa.

12:08My papa.

12:10My papa died a few months ago.

12:13Sorry to hear that, pal.

12:15Oh, life has been so hard.

12:18It's just not easy anymore pulling the trigger.

12:22You know?

12:24But you're good.

12:25You do a good thing.

12:26Really.

12:27You get rid of problems for people.

12:29Oh, in the eyes of the Lord, I'm a cold-blooded murderer.

12:35I'm a cold-

12:37I didn't think this was the only guy I could afford.

12:42That's because the glaucoma was settling in.

12:46I had to cut my prices in half because my hit rate was dropping.

12:51My hit rate.

12:52I feel bad about that, pal.

12:54Look, it was really nice to meet you.

12:57All right.

12:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.

12:59Take it easy.

13:00Take it easy.

13:01Oh, papa.

13:02Oh, papa.

13:22Dad!

13:48Oh, uh, hello.

13:50I'm looking for Condor.

13:52You're looking at him.

13:53You're Condor?

13:55And you go by Little Birdy?

13:57What's the difference?

13:58Now take a seat.

14:06It's all there.

14:07A bundle of TNT.

14:09The cell phone attached to detonate the aforementioned TNT.

14:12Bundle, huh?

14:14Wow.

14:16That's a lot of dynamite.

14:17Yeah, you want to blow someone up or give them a hangnail?

14:20I do want to blow someone up.

14:22Then shut up.

14:23Hey, what's with all the yelling?

14:25That's not a nice way to do business now.

14:27Now listen, Jelly Belly, I don't have all day.

14:29Do you want this stuff or not?

14:31With that attitude, maybe I do, maybe I don't.

14:38Look, when it's time to do the deed, you take the phone and go to the contact list.

14:47The contact list.

14:51And then you bring up the number that's saved.

14:53I listed it as bomb.

14:55You know, to make it easier for you, because you didn't sound too intelligent on the phone.

14:59And then you hit send.

15:01And then, boom.

15:05The desired effect is achieved.

15:07What the hell is that?

15:09It's my mom. Quick, we've got to hide.

15:12Get the bag.

15:18Come on, come on.

15:20Come on, hurry.

15:28Wally, where the hell are you?

15:31I told you to clean up this mess.

15:35Wally.

15:42Hey, the stitching time keeps your pants on.

15:46The early bird catches your ass.

15:49I don't want to know.

15:50Hey guys, thanks for meeting me like this.

15:52I really appreciate it.

15:54I'm not supposed to be talking to you right now.

15:55Boss ain't going to like it, you hear me?

15:57This is not good.

15:59This is better than good.

16:00This is serious stuff.

16:01Come here.

16:02Come here.

16:03I want to show you something.

16:04You see that car over there?

16:06The one with the bumper sticker that says I break her love?

16:08Right.

16:09That's Lorenzo's car.

16:11Or Mickey Rodolfo's.

16:13And he's sitting in it right now.

16:15So you're still running with that guy, huh?

16:17No, no, no.

16:18I told him I needed a lift.

16:20Except, I'm going to blow him and his car away.

16:25Whoa, that's some serious business, man.

16:27What are you going to blow it up with, shoe man?

16:30Yeah.

16:31Dynamite.

16:32What do you think I'm going to use?

16:34Let me show you something.

16:36See this here?

16:38All I got to do, put these numbers in, and I pull it up.

16:42Look at that.

16:43It says bomb.

16:47Bomb.

16:48Right.

16:49I'm a picky guy, ain't I?

16:51Well, see that there?

16:54It says send.

16:56Bomb.

16:57Send.

16:58Boom!

16:59Come on, now!

17:01And I'm back in the club.

17:03Yeah?

17:04Well, go ahead.

17:05What are you waiting for?

17:06What?

17:07Come on, smart guy, blow him up.

17:09Yeah.

17:10Yeah?

17:11Yeah.

17:12Yeah?

17:13Do it.

17:14Uh, yeah, yeah.

17:15Yeah, okay.

17:16Yeah.

17:17Yeah!

17:18Yeah!

17:19All right.

17:20We ready?

17:21Do it!

17:22What are you waiting for?

17:23Wait a second, wait a second.

17:24Isn't that Mickey Rodolfo over there?

17:31It certainly is.

17:33Oh, boy.

17:37Oh, wait a minute now.

17:39If that's Mickey Rodolfo,

17:41who the hell is sitting in the blue car over there?

17:44That's some guy named Lorenzo

17:46who's doing your mother-in-law.

17:54Oh, God.

17:56Oh, God.

17:58Oh, God.

18:06Come on, shoemaker.

18:10I'm back!

18:14There he is!

18:15Here's the glasses.

18:17Come over here.

18:18Sit down next to me.

18:21Dang, it sure is a dish you've seen, huh?

18:23You've got to use that shave.

18:28What was that?

18:30Uh...

18:32Earthquake?

18:34Yeah.

18:35Earthquake.

18:36And so there it is.

18:57Another crazy situation

18:59my pops found a way to dig out of.

19:01Only told with a bit of finesse,

19:03if you don't mind me saying so.

19:05And now it's back to normal.

19:08Out of one doghouse and into another.

19:11This one he knows all too well, though.

19:14After all, it is his home.

19:30Ma.

19:31Ma!

19:33He liked Andy Williams over Sinatra.

19:35He's no good for her.

20:03Hello?

20:04Bernice home?

20:06No.

20:07No.

20:08No.

20:09No.

20:10No.

20:11No.

20:12No!

20:17Lou?

20:18Who's at the door?

20:20Girl Scouts.

20:32you

The Mamaluke - Episode 3: You Dirty Rat (2012) - TV Series

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