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ISIS cuts smokers' heads off because that's `slow suicide,' so fast suicide is better?

TomoNews US
TomoNews US
4 years ago|815 views
What does your pain in the ass roommate have in common with homicidal terror group ISIS? They're both smoke nazis. For people "fortunate" enough to live in Islamic State territory, keeping your head on your shoulders can be a challenge.

In fact, you can get your noggin liberated just for bumming a fag! I'm talking about cigarettes!

According to the Islamic State's do-it-yourself brand of Sharia Law, smoking is "haram." They say smoking is slow suicide, and everyone knows ISIS is only in favor of fast suicide.

So if you're in ISIS controlled Syria, where 50 percent of men are smokers, your habit just got a lot worse for you health. Smugglers have been hiding cigarettes anywhere they can, even sticking them to pigeons.

But since no combination of foreign powers seems able to take down ISIS, let's just wait till the smoke fiends rebel and wear-black-to-every-occasion-smoke nazis are taken down from the inside.

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