- 12 years ago
Season 13's 4th-place finisher chats with 'Reality Check' host Michael Slezak about harsh judges' feedback, Hollywood Week drama and her awesome original tunes.
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00:01We're going live.
00:02All right, welcome, Internet.
00:03I'm Michael Slezak from TVLine.com.
00:05I'm here with Jessica Mews.
00:07I was hoping you'd be here a couple weeks from now,
00:10but you are here today, and so we are going to make the most of it.
00:12It's all good.
00:13Talk about your idol journey and really geek out.
00:16Okay.
00:17One thing I want to know, we saw you coming into auditions.
00:19I loved your quote about you're going to die either a broke musician
00:24or a successful one.
00:25But what did your life look like in terms of pre-idle days?
00:30When you're in Slap Out, were you touring a lot?
00:32Were you playing mostly locally?
00:33Were you making a living on music alone or barely making a living?
00:36What did your life look like?
00:38Yeah, I wouldn't say I was making a living.
00:40It's hard to get money doing that because a lot of people don't consider it a real job.
00:44Right.
00:45And it's really hard.
00:46And there are lots of times where I was like, man, why am I doing this?
00:49But I couldn't stop because I loved it too much.
00:51But I run an LLC, and I play gigs, I book gigs, I do graphic design,
00:57maintain all my social media, and I was going to school.
01:00You were.
01:01Yeah.
01:02And my grades were like...
01:04Because I started playing not just regionally, but I would drive off to Texas.
01:09I'd have to miss two or three days.
01:11Okay.
01:12I mean, I told my teachers, and some of them understood.
01:14I had a couple that got it.
01:16And I had a couple that were just like, oh, that's whatever.
01:19And they would give me a bad grade.
01:21And how hard was it?
01:22Were you just...
01:23Did you feel like...
01:24Were there ever moments where you thought, am I doing the right thing?
01:26Can I do this anymore?
01:27Or is it just not even...
01:28Well, when it's something you love that much, it's not really about right and wrong.
01:33Because it's going to be right if you really love it that much.
01:36Like, otherwise, I don't believe I would have to drop that I do.
01:39So you decide to audition for American Idol, and you decide to audition with one of your own songs.
01:44Did anyone advise you, like, maybe you shouldn't do one of your own songs for the audition?
01:48No, I was just like, oh, this is what I'm doing.
01:50And it was, like, last minute.
01:51I was like, I guess I'll play Blue I'd Like.
01:53Yeah, I'll play Blue I'd Like.
01:54How did it feel to get a good response, not only to your singing, but to something that you wrote
01:59yourself?
02:00Well, I was happy.
02:01But I had no idea where it was going to take me.
02:03I'm a really go-with-the-flow type of person.
02:06Yeah.
02:06So I just kind of went with it, and I was like, oh, wow, people of this status really liked
02:10it.
02:11That's pretty awesome.
02:12Yeah.
02:12It took me a minute to take it in to, like, Harry, and then they're like, oh, she's having to
02:16do the music.
02:17It was all positive, so it felt great to hear that about my own song.
02:20Under the heading of not knowing where something's going to take you, it took you to, eventually, single ladies.
02:26Oh, my gosh.
02:28Some people are mean to me because I don't know the lyrics, but guess what?
02:32I know them now, but...
02:33Up in the club, just woke up.
02:35Just broke up.
02:36Sorry, just broke up.
02:37Yeah, see?
02:38I told you I know.
02:39I should know that.
02:40I'm now ashamed that I got the lyrics wrong.
02:42Live on the Internet.
02:45Were you, as you're watching those rounds at home, I'm assuming you're watching those rounds at home,
02:49were you thinking, like, oh, my God, they're trying to give me the bitch edit?
02:52Or did you think, like, how did this happen?
02:55How are they focusing this much on this?
02:58What were your thoughts?
02:59Well, there was a lot of footage of that woman going crazy that they had to edit through.
03:05Okay.
03:07And I'm sorry, but anyone else would have probably slapped her.
03:11It was that bad.
03:13She just kept going.
03:14Like, I would try to talk, and I'm really not a mean person.
03:17Like, I swear.
03:18I love everybody.
03:19I try to be sweet to everyone.
03:21But she was all in my face, and it was really, she was just so rude.
03:26She really was, like, exactly what I said.
03:28And when you have someone that negative, and it was like, I didn't get your daughter cut.
03:33Like, I'm sorry, but oh, well.
03:37And I was like, you just got to walk away from that negative energy.
03:39As you're in the experience, you know, you had a couple, you shifted groups in Hollywood
03:43Week.
03:44Was there a thought in your head, like, am I going to get cut now because I can't find
03:48a group to work with, and I don't know the lyrics to single ladies?
03:50How scary was that?
03:51I thought I was going to get cut.
03:52I really did.
03:53I was like, some of them.
03:55But you got to understand, like, they crammed so many hours of sleeplessness and frustration
04:01and lots of conflict between everyone, not just me, into, like, a one-hour show or two-hour
04:08show, whatever it was.
04:09And that must have been really hard.
04:10So that must be why they gave me, like, the bitch edit and everything like that.
04:14Because there's only so much you can do with so much footage.
04:17Yeah.
04:18You get back.
04:19You survive that.
04:20You do another original song.
04:22Mm-hmm.
04:22What's it like to see, you know, to be struggling all those years and doing little gigs and
04:27then get your second self-penned song on national television, again, to good reviews?
04:33Taking advantage of the situation.
04:35Because, I mean, I'm a singer-songwriter.
04:37I want to get known for my stuff and for who I am.
04:40And, like, if people don't like me for who I am, then that's a lot better than them loving
04:44me for me faking to be sung up.
04:46Yeah.
04:47And at the end of the day, you want people to experience what your music is going to sound
04:51like in the real world when this show is done.
04:53That seems to be, or should be, the goal.
04:55Yeah.
04:55I mean, I want to be like, this is how I sound.
04:58This is jest.
04:59I don't want to be...
05:00Like, I like cover songs, and I have to do a lot of them in three and four hour sets.
05:05Yeah.
05:05But if it were up to me, I would have done an original every week.
05:08Interesting.
05:08So you get to, you get past Hollywood Week, you have to survive the bizarre rush week.
05:15That was weird.
05:16Sit in a room, feel bad for...
05:19For a long time.
05:21Feel bad for the people who are left there who don't even get to sing.
05:24You seem very unreality TV in that way.
05:27Were there moments where you were like, what are you people doing to us?
05:30Did you want to just like...
05:30I'm just like, this is the Hunger Games.
05:33This is sick.
05:34That's pretty much what I thought.
05:35Yeah.
05:36You choose to do Crow and the Butterfly for top of their team week, which I loved.
05:41Kind of an obscure song for a reality singing competition.
05:43Probably not really an idle song, so to speak.
05:47Was there any worry about picking that one?
05:49Did people behind the scenes say, like, I don't know about this particular song?
05:52Was there any resistance to it?
05:53I don't worry about it.
05:54I seriously was like, I want to do this one.
05:58Like, that's how I am.
05:59I'm like, this is the one I want to do.
06:01So, yeah.
06:02I'm doing it.
06:03Did folks backstage any...
06:05Was there resistance, or did they just figure you were doing what you want?
06:09At first, the first couple weeks, there really wasn't resistance.
06:12But then, as it got less and less people, they were more like, we don't know about that.
06:18You should look at this song.
06:20Look at this song.
06:21And they try to kind of sway you.
06:24And, yeah, your lists get more limiting.
06:26The song choices were so much better earlier in the season across the board for contestants.
06:30And I started wondering, were you guys getting shorter and shorter lists?
06:34Yeah.
06:34There were less and less to choose from.
06:35And then this last week, we were all going to do originals, because we're all songwriters.
06:39And then, like, we have a rehearsal on Monday, Tuesday, dress rehearsal Wednesday.
06:46Sunday, they come up and say, we scrapped all the originals, and we had to pick another song.
06:50So I ended up picking So What by Pink, because at least I could apply the lyrics to my life.
06:54Right.
06:54But it was, like, right then and there, I had to choose.
06:58That is possibly the worst development on the entire season of Idol.
07:01How cool would it have been if all four of you had done originals?
07:06Yeah, it would have been so much fun, especially if those were the ones we had recorded for iTunes.
07:09Yeah.
07:10And I tend to disagree.
07:12I think when they say, sometimes producers will say people want songs that they know.
07:17But I tend to think the Idol audience has a pretty open mind to new material, to stuff they haven't
07:22heard before, to discovering new stuff.
07:24Well, I mean, it's a search for a new artist.
07:26Yeah.
07:26And an artist holds their own, in my opinion.
07:29Like, I believe that, you know, I worked my ass off before Idol.
07:33I'm going to work my ass off after Idol.
07:35I'm just going to use Idol for what it is.
07:38Yeah.
07:38It's a platform.
07:39So, I mean, artists can hold their own.
07:41And I believe, you know, I have a lot of respect for singer-songwriters.
07:44And they play instruments, like, they do everything, because it's hard.
07:47Mm-hmm.
07:48So, I think that there needs to be more of that.
07:50And I think they need to show that.
07:52Instead of, like, here, here's a bunch of cover songs.
07:54But, I mean, that's just my opinion.
07:55Yeah.
07:56Especially, though, on a week where everybody actually can write.
07:59And wanted to write.
08:00And wanted to show their own stuff.
08:02Anyway, back to the chronological stuff.
08:04White Flag, you get out Top 12 Week.
08:06That was probably one of the harsher weeks of criticism.
08:09I had a sinus infection that whole time.
08:11Did you?
08:11I felt like crap.
08:14I was so sick that day.
08:16How did you feel about the performance?
08:17I actually kind of really liked that week.
08:19You did, too.
08:20I had fun.
08:21I had a great time.
08:22Did you tend to watch your stuff back?
08:24One time.
08:25I watch it once.
08:26Really?
08:26That's it.
08:28Not multiple times?
08:29Okay.
08:30I watch it one time.
08:31And did you like how it sounded, White Flag?
08:33Yeah.
08:33It was fun.
08:34Okay.
08:35I mean, nobody's perfect.
08:37You have good performances.
08:38You have bad performances.
08:40But the whole thing, to me, is music's about soul.
08:42It's about what you stand for and what you do that's beyond your music.
08:45Yeah.
08:45I felt the emotion in that one, too, towards the end.
08:48I mean, there was a little criticism of, like, Harry didn't think it was on pitch, which
08:52I didn't hear.
08:53It's whatever.
08:53You moved on.
08:55I get down.
08:55It's whatever.
08:56I don't care.
08:58For Sound of Silence, you had a band malfunction.
09:01Oh, my gosh.
09:02I was like, what?
09:04What happened?
09:06They had a string track pre-recorded because they were going to have, I think, a quartet
09:12coming, but then they couldn't do it because I think it was a budget issue or something.
09:16I don't know.
09:17But, yeah, the string track came in.
09:20I think it was, like, a bar too early, if I'm remembering or not.
09:23And I was just like, oh, Jesus.
09:25And I had to fix it, and I was like...
09:28How quickly do you realize something is immediately?
09:32I was just like, oh, shh.
09:36Do you figure, I'm just going to keep playing and hope the band catches up with me?
09:40Or what did you try to do?
09:42Because it was really hard to tell exactly what it was.
09:43I sort of compensated a tiny bit, and then I just, I don't really know how it got back
09:49in sync, but I've had that happen to me a couple times.
09:51I had a band several years ago.
09:53And whenever there's a mistake, you just have to kind of fix it.
09:57Yeah.
09:57Then in there, just go with it.
09:58Do it happen, happen.
09:59Right.
10:00Your alternative is to stop, like, a deal.
10:02Yeah, and I'll never stop, so.
10:05Because that's, that to me is embarrassing.
10:07I would, unless it's completely just screwed up, I'm probably not going to stop.
10:12Gotcha.
10:13Pumped Up Kicks was your next performance.
10:15Generated a lot of debate on the, like, a lot of debate.
10:19Yeah.
10:19J.Lo and Harry almost had an argument about it.
10:22That's why I chose it.
10:23And because it's about the thoughts of a disturbed person.
10:28I think it was about, like, a shooting and everything.
10:31But I did my research before I sang that song, and I wanted to do it because that kind of
10:36violence
10:36is an issue in the society that we're in.
10:39Yeah.
10:39And I think people need to realize what they're listening to.
10:41So I sang that in my own style and everything could be, like, listen to the lyrics.
10:46Because I'm all about lyrics.
10:48But also to be, like, violence is an issue in this society, and people need to be aware
10:53of that.
10:54Like, people get all upset that I sang that song, but it's like they missed the point.
11:00Like, you got to listen.
11:01It's a juxtaposition is the term.
11:05They put it with a misleading melody, and it's, like, this really, really sinister song.
11:09And I think that, I think the Foster of the People, when they wrote that, like, that's
11:14just a genius way to portray that.
11:16And there's a little bit of glee to the lyrics because it is from a disturbed point of view.
11:22It's not like you're condoning it, but to sing it with a little bit of a sly smile and
11:26a little bit of humor, there is that element to it.
11:29Yeah, it's sick and twisted.
11:31That's the way it is.
11:32It seems like, and J-Lo came to your defense that week.
11:35That might have been the last week that she seemed to dig you on the show, but...
11:38Yeah.
11:38Yep, pretty much.
11:40Did you feel like, well, we'll get to that in a minute.
11:43So top nine, top nine week, you did Rhiannon.
11:45Was there any fear, to me, when I heard you were doing Rhiannon, I was like, you got compared
11:49to Stevie Nicks on your audition.
11:51Should you do Stevie Nicks at all, or should you stay away from her?
11:54It was kind of pushed at me.
11:56It was.
11:56So I did it anyway.
11:58Because there's only so much control you really have.
12:01And, I mean, I kind of fell in love with the song, honestly.
12:05Like, I'm going to probably sing it when I said it.
12:07Okay.
12:08So you're getting, you get through that week with, you're getting, you're now on tour,
12:14you know you've made the tour.
12:15At what point, do you start thinking about winning at that point, and strategizing about
12:19how to win?
12:20And, like, how much were you starting to think about winning?
12:23Winning would be convenient, but it's not necessarily the right thing for everybody.
12:29Because sometimes you can be even more successful when you don't win.
12:33Mm-hmm.
12:34Or you can just let go and stop caring, and you just come in.
12:38But I'm a fighter, and I will do whatever I need to do to get where I want to be.
12:43And I'm really spiritual and faithful, and I believe that, you know, with the drive that
12:47I have, it's been given to me for a reason.
12:49And I know that I will get where I want to be, because I will get there.
12:52Let's just say, I'm going to get there.
12:54Right.
12:54I mean, and I think with that post-idol journey, like, talent is crucial, but I think hard
13:00work is probably as crucial, if not maybe a little bit more, because it's brutal out
13:07there.
13:07Yeah.
13:08It's all about work, really.
13:10You get to top eight week, and you do an original song, Blue-Eyed Live.
13:15Mm-hmm.
13:16They had you go first.
13:17I don't know why you didn't close the show.
13:20And there were some, that was the first week I think we really started to hear from the
13:24judges about movement to the music.
13:27You were kind of on a pedestal, so I don't know where you were expected to go.
13:31Okay.
13:31Let's talk about it.
13:32Yeah.
13:32The pedestal thing, I had heels on that looked a lot better than those other shoes I could
13:37have.
13:38But I got all messed up when I was on that thing in heels.
13:42I couldn't, I can't walk in heels.
13:43I suck at heels.
13:44I hate high heels.
13:46They're horrible.
13:47Who made them?
13:48It must have been a man.
13:48I hate that guy.
13:50But I had to change shoes last minute, because it made me dizzy.
13:54Wow.
13:55Which, yeah, it was so, it messed with my head so bad.
13:58And, yeah, so I ended up in little ugly shoes.
14:03And I was like, oh well, because at that point I was like, I'm not going to fall off this
14:08thing.
14:08It was one of my favorite performances of the season.
14:11I didn't really care that you didn't move around.
14:13And I wish that you'd gotten a little more credit for writing a song that, like, seriously
14:18kicked ass.
14:19And killing it vocally.
14:20Did you want to just be like, but did you like the song?
14:23Did you ever want to just, like, yell that back?
14:25You know, I just focus on my fans.
14:27I really do.
14:29Like, they can say what they want, but I realize that it's a reality show.
14:32And it is the Hunger Games.
14:33Like, there's one person picked off a week.
14:35Yeah.
14:35And it's really messed up.
14:38But, I mean, I just know that I want to sing and I want to make music and I want
14:43to, like,
14:44it's my heart and soul.
14:45And that's what I try to do every time I go up there.
14:47It's like, that's all I care about is my music, my thing.
14:50How do you feel about it charting on iTunes the next morning?
14:52I freaked out.
14:53Did you?
14:54I could have died happy.
14:56Even though I don't want to die.
14:57But if I did die, I'd be like, my song charted.
15:01Like, knowing that your song was your song, that people responded to it in that way.
15:07Do you know how high it went?
15:08No.
15:09Did you follow it?
15:10Okay.
15:11Like, I looked a couple times, but we were so push and pull everywhere.
15:14We had so much to do for the next week.
15:16Right.
15:17Still pretty cool.
15:18That was amazing.
15:20Did someone have to tell you it charted, or did you, like, peak the next morning just to...
15:24I looked.
15:24You did?
15:25Yeah.
15:26I would be looking every five minutes.
15:28I would be refreshing that iTunes.
15:31I would have.
15:32But I think that's before they gave us a little iPad so we could check stuff faster.
15:38So you get to top eight redo.
15:42It's 80s week.
15:43David Cook comes in.
15:46I felt like I wished that they brought in David Cook every week, or other people liked David Cook.
15:52He really seems to...
15:52Him and Jason.
15:53They were great.
15:54Like, they paid attention to you guys.
15:56They may have, like, been watching beforehand and really thought about trying to help you.
16:01Was it exciting to get that kind of, you know, feedback and to get that kind of mentoring and have
16:07somebody who really seems to give you specific stuff and talk to you about what you were doing?
16:10Well, totally, because, you know, David and Jason, both, they're singer-songwriters, guitarists.
16:16Like, they do the same thing.
16:17And I actually saw David at this venue in Birmingham, Workplay, that I practically live at.
16:21Okay.
16:22And I actually watched his show and everything, and I loved it.
16:25Like, I was like, he must have started in Barnes, because he's so talkative with the audience.
16:29He really relates to him.
16:31And, like, I just...
16:32They're both really awesome, and they do listen, and they watch, and they pinpoint things that a typical person wouldn't
16:39notice.
16:40Do you feel like there was that level of mentoring through the season, or did those two really bring it
16:44in a different way?
16:45Because nobody who's come in this season, who's been eliminated, has really been able to...
16:48Not to brag on Randy, but nobody's really...
16:51I'm like, what did he help you with?
16:52And everyone's like, well, he was there.
16:54He came in on Mondays.
16:55But nobody's been able to say, like, he kind of checked out a little bit, or what?
16:59I liked Chris Daltrey and Adam Lambert.
17:01Yeah.
17:02And then Dave and Jason.
17:04Gotcha.
17:04Yeah.
17:06What made you pick Call Me that week?
17:08Because I thought that was your strangest song choice of these days.
17:10It just didn't seem like you.
17:11I wasn't sure what else to pick.
17:13Because, like I said, we had a very limited list, and I had to learn, like, anything that I had
17:19chosen.
17:19Okay.
17:20But I was like, that was the most that I could probably rock up, you know?
17:24So it was a short list.
17:25Yeah, it was that, or, like, Walking on Sunshine.
17:27Oh, no.
17:28I was like, I don't know what to do.
17:30Yeah.
17:30So I did Blondie, because at least Blondie's awesome.
17:32Yeah.
17:33Walking on Sunshine, you can't...
17:34It's just Walking on Sunshine.
17:36Yeah.
17:36It is what it is.
17:37Did you guys ever fight to go off list?
17:39Did you ever say, like, here's other 80s songs that are really cool that would fit me?
17:42Or was there just...
17:43Was that discouraged?
17:45There were a couple times I tried different songs that weren't on the list, but they usually
17:49did Clear or something, and it was just a pain in my ass.
17:54Okay.
17:55Top six weeks.
17:56After you ended up in the bottom two for the first time in top seven weeks, I felt like
17:59top six weeks, you kind of...
18:00You seemed to be almost revitalized.
18:03It's like something, and you clicked, and you started to fight more.
18:07Is that a correct assessment, or...
18:09I was fighting the whole time.
18:11I've been fighting ever since I auditioned.
18:13I had.
18:14Gotcha.
18:16You did Jolene that week.
18:18I loved the arrangement.
18:20Where did you come up with that?
18:21How?
18:21I just wanted it that way, and I started really getting into the arrangement aspect of the
18:27performances, and being like, I want this here, and this here, and I really had a vision
18:31when I went into rehearsal and everything.
18:33Some people had said, like, oh, it's too much like the White Stripes.
18:36I didn't think it was anything.
18:37It was actually nothing like that, so I would like to clear that up.
18:39I don't think there was any...
18:40Well, if it is like the White Stripes, then it probably sounded good, so...
18:43Right.
18:45Nobody really said much in terms...
18:47Like, there was a little discussion.
18:48Harry was like, I hated the arrangement, but I feel like...
18:50I tend to feel like guys get more credit for rearranging songs on Idol.
18:55I feel like the couple of times, you know, that you and Gina both did, like, radical rearrangements,
19:01it was sort of like, well, I didn't like it, but...
19:02It's kind of hit or miss.
19:04Like, sometimes they're like, you made it too much of your own, and then they're like,
19:07you didn't make it enough of your own, and you're like, what do I do then?
19:13You were happy with it, though.
19:14Hey, I was happy the whole time.
19:17I had a great time.
19:18And was there...
19:19What was your thinking behind that?
19:20When you, like, did you cook it up?
19:23Did you decide on Jolene and then immediately know how you were going to do it?
19:26Did you have to...
19:27You did.
19:27I just knew how I wanted it.
19:29Already in your head.
19:30You'd never played it before in that way?
19:32Well, I know the song on guitar.
19:34Right.
19:34And I knew somebody to love...
19:35Well, I had to learn somebody to love, but I love that song.
19:38I love Jefferson.
19:39And I told them I wanted to rock that up to just modernize it.
19:43But, I mean, I have, like...
19:45I don't know.
19:46I just sit and think for a couple minutes, and I realize what I want, and then I just
19:49try my best to convey that message to them.
19:52I started getting annoyed that week, because with somebody to love, I felt like I knew what
19:57the judges were going to say before you even sang a single note, and it was sort of
20:01like that whole, you know...
20:04What did they say?
20:05It was like, you know, you need to physically embody the music.
20:08Yeah.
20:09You know, honestly, you had taken their critiques.
20:13You moved around.
20:14You did some of the stuff that they asked you to do.
20:17There were many contestants this season who actually have not moved away from the mic stand
20:20once and were never asked to do it.
20:22And I wouldn't have minded so much if they were dinging you for that, or upset about
20:26you for that, if they had given the same critiques to male contestants who'd been at
20:30the mic stand.
20:31Did it ever...
20:32Did that bug you, too, or...?
20:34I'd try not to let it bother me, because I realize it's a game show.
20:39It's a game show.
20:40And I'm going to be successful regardless, because I'm going to work my ass off.
20:44Yeah.
20:45I guess talking back wouldn't have done you any favors.
20:47I just smiled and waved.
20:50Smiled and waved.
20:51Gotcha.
20:52Top 5 Week Summertime Sadness.
20:54Yep.
20:55I heard that you improvised pretty much last minute the Angelina leg thing.
21:00Yeah.
21:01That was...
21:01I wasn't even sitting on that side of the box in rehearsal.
21:04Just last minute.
21:04I was like, oh, sit on the other side, the stage and Melissa, she helped me with that.
21:08And she's like, I think you should do this.
21:10I was like, okay, sure.
21:12That, to me, was a song that I wouldn't have expected you to sing, but it made complete
21:16sense after you did it.
21:18Mm-hmm.
21:20Would that normally be the kind of song that might appear in a set of yours, or were you
21:24trying to do something a little different at that point?
21:26And human.
21:27I didn't really think of doing, like, I love Christine Perry.
21:30I love that song.
21:31And I like Lana Del Rey a lot.
21:32I listen to her all the time.
21:33But I never thought, oh, I'm going to cover these on American Idol.
21:38And I don't know.
21:39I've done a lot of random stuff, but, you know, it's always been because I wanted to.
21:44And also, I think America picked really good songs.
21:46Yeah.
21:46Like, I really do.
21:47I enjoyed doing those.
21:48I enjoyed trying to arrange them.
21:50I had a little issues with arranging Summertime Sadness.
21:54Because the first arrangement, I was like, this is so bad.
21:57What was it like?
21:58It was crap.
22:00Slower?
22:00Faster?
22:00It just sounded like it was too old for 2014.
22:06And I wanted it to be more modern and more my style.
22:10How long was the list of songs you got from America?
22:13Like six songs or so.
22:14Really?
22:15Yeah.
22:15Was there anything else on there that you thought about doing?
22:18Or were those two the obvious, obvious ones?
22:20Those two were the two I just looked right at and I was like, I'm doing it.
22:23Human, to me, felt personal.
22:26It felt like you'd sort of been, you know, you had not always had the easiest time up on
22:30that stage after you were done performing.
22:32It is.
22:32Because I try my best to pick songs that I can personally relate to.
22:36Because if you can't convince other people that you click with a song, they're not going
22:39to believe you.
22:40They're not going to believe the song.
22:41And they won't feel it either.
22:42And then you lose your crowd.
22:44So I think it's, you know, music to me is a universal language that brings a lot of people
22:48together over a lot of different conflicts and stuff.
22:50It just makes people forget about all the problems for a while.
22:53So I think it's very important to make that connection.
22:55When you hit that I'm only human part, could you feel that emotion bubbling up?
23:00I almost cried.
23:00I thought you might have.
23:01I almost cried.
23:03It's just a really powerful song.
23:05And it seems like a hard song.
23:07It is hard.
23:08It's really hard.
23:09I was like, oh, these notes.
23:11I was backstage doing the stupid crap trying to warm up.
23:14And I never do that.
23:15I felt really dumb.
23:17But I had to for that song.
23:19It was, like, to me, that's just a high song.
23:21And the way I was projecting it was not normal for me.
23:24You guys got put through an additional ringer on results night.
23:30Speaking of Hunger Games, again, I almost had to pull out Nightlock Fairies.
23:35It was so messed up and unnecessary.
23:38I'm just saying.
23:40Counterproductive to everything.
23:41Yeah.
23:41I don't think it had...
23:42I didn't understand why, at that point in the competition, they would even ask you guys
23:47to make that choice.
23:48Because you can't win either way.
23:51Both choices sucked ass.
23:53They did.
23:54They were horrible.
23:55Yeah.
23:56Did you guys, like, want to go to the producers as a quintet on the commercial break and be
24:00like, are you people kidding me?
24:02Or is it just you just accept that this is...
24:05We didn't...
24:06You know, we were just shocked.
24:07Yeah.
24:07And we didn't know what to do.
24:08We couldn't really process it.
24:09They were like, okay, you have a commercial break.
24:11Hurry up and circle your answer.
24:13And we're just, like, all looking at each other like, huh?
24:17Wow.
24:18I just...
24:19We disapprove.
24:20We disapprove.
24:21You're blanking students.
24:21We disapprove.
24:23Last week on the show, as you referenced before, you were going to do an original that got
24:28scrapped at the last minute.
24:29What were you going to say?
24:31The hell you put in third.
24:32Okay.
24:33Is that on YouTube?
24:34Can we find that on there?
24:36It might be on there.
24:37I have a lot of YouTube videos.
24:39I think it's on there.
24:40Is that a more recent one?
24:42Is that one you wrote a while back?
24:44Maybe, like, two years ago.
24:46Is that one you hope to maybe sneak into your Idol tour set?
24:49If you were going to do an original on...
24:50I am going to try to sneak in as many originals as I can.
24:54If you get three songs, we're going to get three originals if you have it your way?
24:58Mm-hmm.
24:58Gotcha.
24:59Yep.
24:59How tough was it jumping onto So What at the last minute like that?
25:05Well, there's a lot of lyrics.
25:09And it's kind of fast.
25:10But my only worry was, you know, how am I going to do this on the stage?
25:14Because it was completely, you know, I had already had a staging meeting, and I just had
25:19to do it all that day on the stage when I got there.
25:22And I had to remember the words.
25:23Did I detect a little bit, like, you might have been singing it a little bit to our esteemed
25:27judging panel?
25:28A little bit?
25:29Do what?
25:30Like, were you singing it a little bit to the judges?
25:32I was kind of singing it to everyone who just, you know, there's people in your life
25:37who they just don't want to support you because they see you doing something that makes you
25:41happy.
25:42Right.
25:42And my whole thing is that those kinds of people really push me to do better, and I
25:49want to thank them.
25:50Like, I really appreciate the haters and the people who sit on their couches and take the
25:55time to say, I hate you, I'm glad you're home.
25:57And I just want to let them know that they drive me more, and it's really encouraging.
26:02And I try to take everything and make it, you know, productive.
26:06Gotcha.
26:07You might as well take that energy and use it to fuel something positive.
26:11It's kind of like that song, like, you can't bring me down, have fun.
26:15Your other two songs that week, of the two, I thought, since you've been gone, I couldn't
26:21figure out why you picked that.
26:22I did the A Day to Remember version, the rock version.
26:26Okay.
26:26And I liked the song, I had fun with it.
26:30It was hard to find the key, and I wish I had more time to practice.
26:34But I had fun, so it's okay.
26:36It felt like when you came out with You and I, I was worried, because I was like,
26:41has Jess accepted fourth place, that she just assumed she's getting fourth place.
26:46And then you came out with You and I, and there was something, there was like that extra
26:49something behind it.
26:51Yeah.
26:51How did you approach that one?
26:52Well, Lady Gaga has a really soulful voice if you don't listen to the electronic and everything
26:57in the background.
26:58You just pull her voice out, and you're like, wow, that woman, she really does just, it's
27:03really bluesy, kind of.
27:05And I was like, I could do this song.
27:08I really like this song.
27:09And it's just the way she sings, and the way she did the You and I, and she's just building
27:15it out at the end, and I was like, I'm doing that.
27:17Did you feel like, as you're singing it, like maybe this might get me to the top three?
27:22Yeah.
27:23I did.
27:24I tried to be as positive as I possibly could the entire time, but you know, like I said,
27:28whatever happens is meant to happen that way.
27:32Did you feel on results night like you might be going home?
27:35Mm-hmm.
27:36And yet it still, it seemed to hit you really hard.
27:40Because I work really hard, and everything I do, I put in 200%, because that's just the
27:47person I am.
27:47Like, everything I do, I do the absolute best.
27:50So it is disappointing to be like, okay, this part is over, but to me, now looking back,
27:55that's just a door open, and fourth place is not bad.
28:00Like I said, I'm a fighter, and I want to get where I need to be.
28:03You seem tough and stoic a lot of the time, but I sense you're a very emotional person
28:09at the...
28:09I have a lot of feels inside somewhere.
28:13And I think we saw a lot of that in the final performance.
28:16Yeah.
28:17It was very cathartic.
28:18Blue-Eyed Live was not originally going to be your sing-out song.
28:21Nope.
28:21When did you, at what point did you say, like, I'm doing Blue-Eyed Live that day?
28:25What were you going to do?
28:26Crow on the butterfly.
28:28Yeah.
28:29And what...
28:30Was it just the thought of, if I'm going out, I'm doing an original?
28:33Yeah, because my whole thing is, if I'm going to show who I am, I'm going to always be true
28:38to myself.
28:39I'm always going to be genuine and real.
28:40I'm never going to lie to my fans or pretend to be something I'm not.
28:43And I want to be able to relate to everybody.
28:45I want to be my artist.
28:47Mm-hmm.
28:47No matter what anyone says, you need to do this, you need to do that.
28:50If I don't want to do it, I'm not going to do it.
28:52And, you know, I want to be more than just the songs I write.
28:56I want to be a message to people that you can do whatever you want.
28:59The only limits you have are the limits you put on yourself.
29:02And that it's worth it to do what you love.
29:04How hard was it to pull together that vocal?
29:07I was a little worried when you started.
29:08I was like, how is she going to sing?
29:09Because you're crying.
29:10But you somehow, like, fought through it.
29:12And the vocal, I thought, was actually great.
29:14Have you watched that back?
29:15I've seen it 800 times in every interview I've done this whole week.
29:20They make sure they play it before my interviews.
29:23And I'm always like, now I'm desensitized to it.
29:26The first time I was just like, I remember that.
29:31Right.
29:32But I don't know.
29:34I think that was the best way I could have possibly gone.
29:37And I'm happy that it happened now.
29:39Like, I know that I'll be okay.
29:41And I know that I'm always going to write.
29:43And I know that I'll get where I need to be.
29:45Can I ask you a controversial question?
29:47Sure.
29:47Did you snub J-Lo for the hug?
29:49No.
29:50On stage, you didn't.
29:51No.
29:52I wanted to talk to her.
29:53I wanted to hug her and everything.
29:55But I hugged her, and then she walked away.
29:58Gotcha.
29:59And I was like, okay, bye.
30:00Gotcha.
30:01Okay.
30:01Like, Keith and Harry talked to me.
30:03And I actually have a ton of respect for Harry,
30:06just because he was saying that the only reason he was so hard on me
30:08is because he really believes in my artistry.
30:10And he was just really nice about it.
30:12And I was like, okay, I'm going to go write a CD now.
30:15Would he not make an awesome mentor?
30:17I thought...
30:17I like Harry.
30:18They should have put him in the mentoring position, I thought.
30:20Yeah.
30:21Because he's so technical.
30:23And he really gets music inside and out.
30:25And then I believe, like, Keith, he really has a lot of feeling and soul.
30:29Yeah.
30:29And he would be good, too.
30:31And Jennifer would be a good dance teacher.
30:32Like, she should teach me how to dance.
30:34Right.
30:35But I really wish she had talked to me a little more, you know?
30:38Yeah.
30:38Like, I wanted to talk to her,
30:39because I have a lot of respect for all three of them.
30:41But, I mean, I'm not going to say...
30:44Well, I lost a little bit of respect when she just, like, walked away from me.
30:48Yeah.
30:49Yeah.
30:50She had other places to be.
30:51Last question for you.
30:53So you make it to fourth place.
30:54That's pretty damn good by any account.
30:57What do you do with it now?
30:59I mean, we've seen fourth place finishers go on to great stuff.
31:01We've seen fourth place finishers sort of fade from the public view.
31:05What are you going to do to use this as the next step in your career?
31:10And how would you define success for yourself post-show?
31:14Well, success defined as happiness.
31:16Okay.
31:17It's whatever your perception of happiness is.
31:19And I'm going to focus on writing some material and collaborating with people.
31:25I also want to learn how to work in a studio.
31:27I'm going to build a studio.
31:28I just don't know where it is.
31:29I can figure that out.
31:30Okay.
31:31I want to do production engineering.
31:33I want to learn all the background aspects.
31:35And I would like to get into a tiny bit of acting, even if I have to be a creeper
31:39in the
31:39background or something, for, like, ten seconds.
31:41And I'm just like, I totally wouldn't mind.
31:43But I want to do everything.
31:45Like, I want to do makeup.
31:46I want to do, like, clothes.
31:48I want to get into everything.
31:49When you talk about building a studio, is that so you can control what you do and control
31:54your sound?
31:55You seem, and I'm saying this as a positive, but maybe a little bit of a control freak.
31:58Like, you want to be able to execute.
32:01I want to know how to do everything.
32:02You do.
32:02And I want to know, because I think it'll open my mind and my ears to hear more and
32:07see more and understand more.
32:09And I think that would help me overall as an artist.
32:11It certainly can't hurt you.
32:13Exactly.
32:13We appreciate you coming in today.
32:15This was really awesome.
32:16Thank you so much.
32:17I was going to bring you a big bouquet of flowers, and then I was running late for this
32:20interview, so I had to skip purchasing them.
32:23Those long-time Reality Check fans know that somebody usually gets them, and I'm going to
32:28have to, like, get Jessica's address later and send them to her after the tour is done.
32:32Well, thank you so much.
32:33But I really appreciate you coming in today, and we really appreciate watching you this
32:36season.
32:36You made it very fun.
32:38All right.
32:39I'm hitting stop broadcast.