- 11 years ago
NR | 51 minutes | Comedy | 2003
VISITORS (2003), is a witty and unique mockumentary parodying the subject of UFOs, E.T.'s and abductions. It explores some never-before-told, bizarre and historical extraterrestrial moments. Each story is embellished with pseudo-artifacts, uncanny footage and realistic graphics, with a dash of eccentric characters. VISITORS uncovers such stories as: How a Confederate infantry during the American Civil War discovered a downed, flying saucer at Grizzle Turkey Ridge, which today is a subdivision. The first cross-dresser, British General of WWI, who captured a crashed flying saucer known as The Manchester Disc, and how the British Secret Intelligence knew about a surviving alien named Bingo. How a cleaning lady was hired by aliens to clean their flying saucer and was later cloned due to a shortage of cleaning lassie on their planet. A psychic who communicates to E.T.'s with his table hockey game hoping for a rendezvous. In addition, some abductees and a host of other offbeat characters who give brevity and authentication to some of the most twisted, documented accounts.
Director: Béla Peter Pfundt
Stars: Béla Peter Pfundt, Jonathan Amitay, Andreas Pfundt
VISITORS (2003), is a witty and unique mockumentary parodying the subject of UFOs, E.T.'s and abductions. It explores some never-before-told, bizarre and historical extraterrestrial moments. Each story is embellished with pseudo-artifacts, uncanny footage and realistic graphics, with a dash of eccentric characters. VISITORS uncovers such stories as: How a Confederate infantry during the American Civil War discovered a downed, flying saucer at Grizzle Turkey Ridge, which today is a subdivision. The first cross-dresser, British General of WWI, who captured a crashed flying saucer known as The Manchester Disc, and how the British Secret Intelligence knew about a surviving alien named Bingo. How a cleaning lady was hired by aliens to clean their flying saucer and was later cloned due to a shortage of cleaning lassie on their planet. A psychic who communicates to E.T.'s with his table hockey game hoping for a rendezvous. In addition, some abductees and a host of other offbeat characters who give brevity and authentication to some of the most twisted, documented accounts.
Director: Béla Peter Pfundt
Stars: Béla Peter Pfundt, Jonathan Amitay, Andreas Pfundt
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Thanks for watching.
00:30She says, periodically, she swerves around the room out of no reason at all, as though
00:43she were a flying saucer.
00:53And when the freighter was stricken by torpedo, the saucer, as you called it, the Manchester
01:01Disc, wasn't the authentic saucer, is that what you're saying?
01:05Yes, quite.
01:06It was a decoy.
01:08Our signals are going out there, our signals, I am convinced, I'm very, very convinced,
01:14our signals, our brainwaves are touching them and they're touching us.
01:19These six little guys are standing around looking at me, looking at me, and looking
01:24at me, and looking at me.
01:25Look at me again, but this time we invite them from Manjaria.
01:29Many of them are very concrete and very strong, but it is through time that some governments
01:40have to cooperate.
01:48This is an early American wooden false book, dating approximately 1860.
02:15It was primarily used to hide valuables or personal belongings in case of intruders during
02:20the American Civil War.
02:22Discovered in a bowling alley in South Carolina, it contains what promises to be a most intriguing
02:28discovery of some unusual American Civil War artifacts.
02:34The contents seem to be of a Confederate military origin.
02:38A Confederate logbook, a sworn statement signed by the 9th Confederate Infantry, some drawings,
02:44and a few signed military photos dated June 28, 1862.
02:51The sole bearer of these hidden relics was Colonel Aloysius Buckhorn Fredericks of the
02:56Confederate 9th Infantry.
02:58Here are some excerpts from the Colonel's diary.
03:01June 27, 4 p.m., 1862.
03:14My men and I grew tired after a forbidding loss by Grant's boys.
03:18I pretty damn near lost my entire infantry.
03:24With a handful of what remains of my injured boys, we set up a camp at the rim of Grizzle
03:29Turkey Cheeks, Kentucky, and rested our weary souls.
03:38Evening, June 27, 9 p.m., 1862.
03:43We were besieged upon by a calamity of thunder and rain.
03:47Our tents were flapping like the sails of a beaten ship, and we were as terrified as
03:52chickens hide from a hungry fox.
03:55Suddenly, there was a crack of thunder unlike any thunder that I had ever heard.
04:08It was upon that moment I felt the most uncomforting premonition.
04:13Sergeant Josh Flankins neared my tent to inform me that he noticed some kind of bright, glowing
04:18object that had crashed over yonder by the next ridge.
04:22I instructed him to fetch me and a few men at dawn after the storm had subsided for a
04:28further investigation.
04:31I knew those damn Yankees were up to no good.
04:37June 28, 7 a.m., 1862.
04:41Colonel Aloysius embarked on a discovery that he and his men would never forget.
04:46The sun was out, but the land was thick in mud after that downpour.
04:51We discovered what appeared to be a 25-foot diameter saucer-shaped object stuck in a sandy
04:57open area.
04:59Thoughts of plenty were racing through my mind, and scared was one of them.
05:04We all stood there for a moment like turkey gizzards in the sack.
05:09Whatever in tarnation it is, we're all shit.
05:13Whatever in tarnation it is, we're all shaking at the plain sight of it.
05:17Charlie Auxerre, scout photographer, took photographs of it as we commenced on trying to
05:22dig out this confounded thing.
05:25This object was made of steel, I reckon.
05:28It was circular with overlapping flaps, like a flower in a way.
05:34Each flap had holes in them, but you couldn't see inside of it.
05:38There weren't any kind of bolts or nails holding it together, and we just plumb well
05:44couldn't figure out what the dang thing is.
05:47Good old General Ausch would sure as hell fancy this one.
05:53Our attempts to find some kind of hatch or door was impossible.
05:57We banged at it, we shot at it, we even scraped it with our shovels.
06:03Nothing.
06:05I said to my boys that if this here contraption is a Yankee invention, we better be weaving
06:11our weight undies and best be heading back to the turkey farm.
06:24Failing to remove the object, Colonel Al-Awish has ordered his men to bury the object completely,
06:29with hopes of returning someday to resume further excavation.
06:35Oh yes, that Civil War Colonel.
06:38He did the right thing, I tell you.
06:42Boy, don't you read your stuff?
06:44It's not fiction, it's for real.
06:46Government hush-hush.
06:48Oh boy, I tell you.
06:50Hush-hush.
06:54Very smart man.
06:55He buried it, and the Yankees, they could not find it.
07:00And he thought maybe come back a few years later, but you know what, they built a subdivision!
07:07Houses all over the place.
07:10What are you gonna do?
07:14So much for a surprise package.
07:17What was once known as Grizzled Turkey Cheeks in Kentucky, is today a subdivision.
07:23Grizzled Turkey Ridge.
07:26Perhaps beneath one of these new homes, lies the unremoved disc that Colonel Al-Awish's
07:31Buckhorn Fredericks and his men discovered in June 28th, 1862.
07:38Ironically, a somewhat similar situation arose during World War I, in Cognac, France.
07:45On July 4th, 1862, Colonel Al-Awish's Buckhorn Fredericks and his men discovered
07:52an unremoved disc in the house of Colonel Al-Awish.
07:58Ironically, a somewhat similar situation arose during World War I, in Cognac, France.
08:06On July 14th, 1917.
08:20British General William Clarence Bodsworth II, of the Queen's First Regiment,
08:25heralded as the highest decorative general during World War I.
08:30He was also secretively known as Silly Willy by his close fleeting companions
08:35because of his eccentric transvestite fetishes.
08:39Unashamed of his unmanly conduct, he was nevertheless the first general in history
08:44to adorn women's clothing with military attire during battle.
08:49Eventually, his unsound methods had gained him victories and notoriety,
08:53despite the controversial stir that he created back in London.
08:57The general had once quoted to a close companion.
09:02To adorn women's clothing and make-up before battle has enriched my whole philosophy about war.
09:09I cannot explain my increasing lust for victory.
09:13The exuberation that is felt when my veins become enriched with adrenaline
09:18and sparked with the scent of perfume.
09:21I know it's the Parisian perfume.
09:24It was 1800 hours, July 14th, 1917.
09:29Mission Knickers was a success,
09:32as General Bodsworth forced the Germans back from La Rochelle, France.
09:36In his diary, he wrote,
09:38Once again, I am extremely tickled with joy with my Nancies,
09:42as we grasp a vital strategic stronghold against the Krauts.
09:47As the lads celebrated and sang songs,
09:50I stood alone upon a breezy hilltop
09:53and welcomed the Parisian summer breeze
09:55as it flew through my new Paul Poiret evening dress.
10:00Whilst I gazed at God's splendorous and romantic sunset sky,
10:05I began to apply my blush,
10:08when my eyes suddenly drew towards a rapidly descending shiny object.
10:13It was dramatically scarring the sky,
10:15leaving a spittling trail of white smoke.
10:18Outcries from my Nancies suggested a Jerry Zeppelin,
10:22but I beg to differ.
10:25It was rather disc-like in shape,
10:27and quite slimmer, I must say.
10:31Fortunately, the trail of smoke was our compass,
10:34and the fox hunt was on.
10:36Oh yes, in the midst of all of this excitement,
10:39I lost one of my precious Cartier gold earrings.
10:42Lucky sod who finds it.
10:49General Bodsworth immediately gathered some men
10:53and advanced towards the crash site.
10:55When the General and his assortment of men arrived at the crash site,
10:59Private Harry Pefferlot wrote his account in a letter to his wife in Manchester, England.
11:05Dear Smilgrid,
11:06Today we discovered a strange object that had crashed not too far from our camp.
11:11A most unusual, shiny, disc-shaped object indeed.
11:16I'm sorry that I cannot give out my location, dearest one.
11:20For security reasons, you know.
11:22This thing had crashed into the side of this muddy hill slope,
11:27and we all stood round gawking at its presence.
11:30It could have been a bomb.
11:32I thought by the Jerrys, perhaps.
11:36Oh, Freddy was so scared,
11:38he suddenly developed the shakes and he wet his drawers.
11:41Chuckle chuckle.
11:43Anyway, love, got to rush.
11:46Someone is coming, and I mustn't say any more.
11:49Top secret, you know.
11:51Love, Harry.
11:53Captain Reggie Burlap
11:55was coordinating the digging and the transporting of the disc-shaped object.
11:59He wrote this account.
12:01This saucer-shaped object had to be at least thirty feet in diameter.
12:06It was still steaming and we could feel the heat radiating from it.
12:11I had me old trusted gun ready,
12:13for surely I thought the Krauts were inside this bloody thing,
12:17and were about to pop out like weasels and surprise a lot of us.
12:21Then again, it could be a gigantic mustard gas bomb of some sort.
12:26We were so stiff in our boots that there could have been Krauts behind us
12:30and we wouldn't have budged.
12:32Nevertheless, I've never seen the likes of it.
12:35Captain Reggie Burlap, July 14th, 1917.
12:40The infantry's medic, Dr. Lyle Fitzpatrick, was suddenly summoned.
12:45Like everyone else, I was stone cold and speechless at the sight.
12:49But I was in shock when I discovered what appeared to be an injured human-like figure,
12:54a wee taller in height than a midget.
12:57Its skin was leathery and gray in color.
13:00It had large oval dog eyes, only four fingers,
13:04and an oval shaped head which was disproportionate to its body.
13:09It was dressed in a shiny silvery garment.
13:12All of my men stood around me with their guns drawn towards the creature,
13:17wondering if it may strike at any moment.
13:20This creature was still alive, but immobilized.
13:24It was trying to communicate mentally to me.
13:28It's difficult to explain, but its voice was bridging with mine.
13:33A rather dreadful experience.
13:35Turned out to be very reassuring.
13:38Once that threat subsided, of course.
13:41Behind the saucer, there were two of its colleagues, which I'm afraid did not survive the crash.
13:47I ordered to take the bodies back to camp for further autopsies, as I tended to the surviving one.
13:54Dr. Lyle Fitzpatrick, July 14th, 1917.
14:04General Bodsworth's men finally managed to remove the disc and strapped it on to a Centurion tank.
14:10The General immediately sent an urgent message to British intelligence,
14:15to an old friend, Angus McGarnish.
14:18He requested for a freighter with complete naval protection to be sent from London to La Rochelle.
14:23Bodsworth was now battling against time, should the Germans return.
14:27And time was something that he could not afford to lose.
14:33Bodsworth?
14:34He did the right thing, wouldn't you?
14:36Oh, no!
14:37He did the right thing!
14:40I would.
14:41Wouldn't you?
14:43Oh, boy.
14:45Think.
14:47It's a decoy, very well executed by the British intelligence.
14:52They're holding, hush, hush.
14:54Shh, shh, shh.
14:55Even I have to be careful I don't talk about too long, because they've only been here so much.
14:59Shh.
15:00Anyway.
15:03He did the right thing.
15:06Trust me.
15:07I believe it, don't you?
15:14July 15th, 1917.
15:17Captain Kenneth Billage of the freighter HMS Manchester
15:21was watching his crew assist the military
15:24as they loaded a strange disc-shaped object aboard his ship.
15:28Blimey, I've never seen the likes of so much security around this anonymous cargo aboard me ship.
15:34What is the big secret?
15:36I bloody well can't figure it out.
15:39Probably some new weapon against the Krets, I reckon.
15:42One of me mates' curiosity enticed him to take a closer look.
15:46But he soon faced a thrashing of words from one of the commanding blokes.
15:51We are all forewarned about the consequences
15:54and what will happen to wandering cats they may snoop about.
15:57Captain Kenneth Billage, HMS Manchester.
16:04On July 17th, 0600 hours,
16:07fog had set in on the Manchester and its convoy escort.
16:11Visibility was poor and the Manchester was suddenly drifting away from its protective escort.
16:18Suddenly the HMS Manchester was struck by a torpedo from an unexpected U-boat.
16:23Some of the crew survived, but the Manchester disc, as it has been so dubbed, went down with her.
16:29Captain Kenneth Billage, who survived the hit, wrote his final log.
16:34The hit was sudden and she went down fast and graceful.
16:37The unfortunate fact is,
16:39is that I will go to my grave not knowing what in the dickens was that highly classified cargo all about.
16:46Perhaps a Kret made dining room table for good old King George, I reckon.
16:51Captain Kenneth Billage, HMS Manchester.
16:56And now, it's time once again for I Didn't Know That.
17:01In 1956, the BBC aired a show entitled I Didn't Know That.
17:06The show primarily dealt with absurd, rare and never told stories throughout the world.
17:11One of its guests was retired British intelligence officer during World War I, Sir Angus McGarnish.
17:18Sir Angus McGarnish, who was part of the British intelligence secret service during World War I,
17:26and he's here to share us with some delightful news with regards to extraterrestrials and UFOs.
17:33Sir Angus McGarnish, thank you very much for coming and sharing this information.
17:40So you mean that when the freighter was stricken by torpedo,
17:44the saucer, as you called it, the Manchester Disc, wasn't the authentic saucer, is that what you're saying?
17:53Yes, quite. It was a decoy that sank for the simple reason that we knew that the Germans were on to us.
18:03And so we had to quickly conceive a plan of diversion, you see.
18:12So if the dummy disc, as it were, rests at the bottom of the Atlantic, where in the world is the real disc or saucer?
18:22It is well guarded in a Scottish brewery house outside of Glasgow.
18:29Why in the world of all places a brewery?
18:34Well, it's the least place you'd expect.
18:39Whatever happened to the reported two dead aliens?
18:44That I'm not sure of, but they have changed hands amongst various intelligence groups.
18:51The US, Canada, Great Britain.
18:56What about the surviving alien? Is it alive?
19:02Oh yes, very much so. I should call it by its adopted government name, Bingo.
19:11Bingo is living in the Yukon in Canada.
19:16There it is safely protected by various governments.
19:22Extraordinary.
19:24Now whatever became of General Clarence Bardsworth?
19:28He seems to be heralded as the most flamboyant drag queen general in the history of the British military during World War I.
19:38Oh, Clarence, yes.
19:41Well, he later volunteered for an alien exchange program in 1920.
19:49Hence, there is no trace of him on this planet.
19:54Really? Well, Sir Angus, what do you suppose Clarence has to offer their culture?
20:02His entire wardrobe.
20:10What you are seeing is a confiscated top secret government film that was taken at Bingo.
20:15The alien captured during World War I.
20:18Bingo is under top security.
20:23Here is Bingo at home.
20:38Bingo enjoys cooking after watching Martha Stewart.
20:45Here is Bingo enjoying his 300th birthday.
20:50Uh-oh, quite too many.
21:20Here Bingo is learning how to play piano.
21:30He is an avid fan of Barry Manilow.
21:50Meet another individual who has devoted most of his life studying the minds of people who have made contact with aliens.
22:18Dr. Jesse Winthrop III.
22:22When it comes to alien contact, Dr. Winthrop is the Sherlock Holmes of hypnosis.
22:28A patient of mine by the name of Mrs. Clarino Javo came to see me and she seems to be suffering through some strange traumatic experience.
22:42Being a cleaning lady, she says periodically she swerves around the room out of no reason at all as though she were a flying saucer.
22:51And I found this quite a unique moment to investigate this a little bit further.
23:03What I've done is I've taped the session, as you will soon see, and I put Mrs. Clarino Javo under hypnosis trying to figure out where did it all start.
23:21Yeah, I am a cleaning woman for 20 years now.
23:33I clean lots of houses, you know, and I used to tell my husband, George, come and pick me up and take me home.
23:44I went to bed early and then I wake up as a little man standing in front of bed, big eyes, little mouth.
23:56And I say, what are you doing here?
23:58He don't say nothing.
24:00He looked at me and he said, something wonderful is going to happen.
24:06And then he, poof, he gone.
24:10So I thought, oh, maybe I dream or something.
24:12I'm a superstitious woman, so, you know, I go right away in kitchen, I kill chicken.
24:18I put chicken under bed and I get bowl of cornmeal and put garlic in.
24:24And I leave in room and I sleep on couch.
24:26George, he could sleep in room, no matter.
24:28So that take away spirit, all bad spirit, they go away, no come back.
24:33So I work every time, all country, you know.
24:38So then I work at my friend house, Jane.
24:41She no home, I was working outside, clean garden.
24:47I see a round thing coming down from sky and I see family come out from round disc, you know.
24:58And this mother, father, three little girls.
25:01Their name Igloo, Migloo, Pigloo and Nora and Doris, his wife and husband.
25:09And they come to me, they say, you like to clean our flying saucer every two week?
25:15I say, oh, sure, okay, you look like nice people.
25:21Okay, so they say, come inside, take a look, you know, and you tell us how much.
25:27So I look, TV room they have is very messy, kids room very messy, kitchen is nice.
25:33And they have backyard inside too, you know.
25:36So then I clean their house, their saucer, you know, I call house cause like house.
25:45Every two week they have central vacuum cleaner, you know, Galaxy 500 I certainly call.
25:54And, you know, I clean one day under the Mr. Dora, under his bed.
26:00I find dead chicken, I find boiled cornmeal and garlic.
26:04So, you know, you have to think that some or other people think same like us, you know.
26:12Not so much superstitious, but, you know, they seem like us.
26:16And, yeah, wonderful people.
26:20They say, come visit anytime, they come pick me up and next summer we go there for holiday, George and I.
26:26So, nice people, they here, they exist, yeah, sure, they here, yeah.
26:42Yes, December 18th, 1988.
26:46I have Mrs. Clarino Javo here, whom I'm about to hypnotize and retrogress.
26:52Back to the time she experienced the UFO occurrence.
26:57Mrs. Javo, please relax.
27:01Relax, let your limbs just relax.
27:05You feel as though you weigh one ton, just relax.
27:09I'm okay.
27:10No, no, don't wake up, just relax.
27:12No, no, don't wake up, just relax.
27:17That's it, that's it.
27:20Count backwards, choose a number.
27:28Doesn't matter what number, just count backwards.
27:31That's it, that's it.
27:34Good.
27:35You are in deep sleep.
27:40Let's go back to the time when you first spotted the UFO.
27:47I see a ship coming down in backyard.
27:53I'm scared, I do washroom in my pants, I'm scared.
27:57I see little people coming out, their family.
28:03They say, how are you?
28:05How are you cleaning lady? I see you have been cleaning for 20 years.
28:09Business, I do good job.
28:14They say, come inside, we will show you how to clean our ship.
28:18I want to do that.
28:19I say, sure.
28:21I go inside.
28:22Nice spaceship.
28:25Nice family.
28:28Three little girls, Igloo, Migloo, Pigloo and Nora.
28:32And Nora, wife and husband.
28:34Nice people.
28:36TV room a mess.
28:40Kids room a mess.
28:41Kitchen nice.
28:43Nice ship, nice ship.
28:46Every two weeks I come and clean for them.
28:55Yes, I'm very happy that we hired Korean Devil.
28:59She's a very nice woman and she does a very good job.
29:05This is Dora talking from Alpha 500 Galaxy XY Delta IV.
29:11We are on a mission to find cleaning ladies to breed and bring back to our planet.
29:17We're in short of cleaning ladies.
29:19We don't have enough cleaning ladies on our planet.
29:22Our saucers are filthy.
29:24We need cleaning ladies.
29:29Oh, wow.
29:35My husband and I are so happy.
29:38We go on holiday next year.
29:43Relax.
29:44Relax.
29:53What's happened?
29:54Relax.
29:55Relax. You're with me.
29:56Relax.
29:57Okay.
29:58Clary.
30:00Calm yourself down.
30:02When I count to three.
30:03One.
30:04Two.
30:05Three.
30:11I'm convinced that Mrs. Clary Javo is a victim of that.
30:18And she's still suffering to this day.
30:22Miss Javo isn't the only patient that has made contact.
30:26In fact, here are some of Dr. Jesse Winthrop's other patients.
30:32I'm the fashion designer consultant on this motion picture being shot right now and we're underwater last week.
30:38Yes, it's underwater.
30:40It's Ken and Barbie meets Mr. Shark.
30:43And we just finished this wrap and all of a sudden there's this monstrous, huge ship that just suddenly emerges out of nowhere from the depths of the bottom.
30:55And the lights were just going round and round and round.
30:58It's just like a disco.
30:59It just felt like dancing when I saw it.
31:01But better still, I, mind you, I read auras and I picked up something very, very powerful there.
31:09Something attracted me to this ship.
31:13And I was drawn towards this thing like a magnet.
31:17And this little man came out.
31:20I mean, they all look the same from all the descriptions we've heard.
31:23You know, big eyes, little thin mouths and grey sort of leathery skin and very drab clothing, to say the least.
31:30And he started talking to me.
31:32Now, I'll try to quote what he was saying, but he sounded something like this.
31:38What happened was, it's just too much to be true.
31:41It's just too much to be true.
31:44They set up a nice little office for me on their planet.
31:48And in fact, I've got other connections now near the galaxy.
31:51They're wonderful, cute little dolls.
31:53They're really gorgeous little people and they just love us.
31:57They do. They really do.
31:59And I believe that because I feel it.
32:01It's right here.
32:02It just comes out from the heart.
32:05Yes, they do exist.
32:06They're here with something in mind.
32:08I don't know what.
32:09So far, I've got a good business considering the recession that's on right now.
32:13Our signals are going out there.
32:15Our signals, I am convinced.
32:17I'm very, very convinced.
32:19Our signals, our brainwaves are touching them and they're touching us.
32:24It's like, tag, you're it.
32:26Tag, I'm it.
32:27And it's going back and forth like that.
32:29I'm going to skip my grades every time I hear government cover-ups.
32:33I'll tell you.
32:35I never believed that a thing like that would happen to me.
32:38I heard a lot of people talking about it.
32:42But this one really takes the cake, I'll tell you.
32:44All of a sudden, I just got yanked out of that shower and I'm floating above the ground.
32:49And I still got soap in my eyes.
32:51I couldn't see a thing.
32:53And I'm floating out of the house and I'm going outside.
32:57And I'm flying a little higher up in the sky and it's pitch black out.
33:02And I'm wondering, what the heck's going on in here?
33:06And I look up and I see all these colored lights and everything.
33:10And I thought somebody called 911, but nope, there wasn't anything wrong in the neighborhood.
33:15So, I'm getting closer to this great big, it was a flying saucer, I'll tell you, it was a flying saucer.
33:21And I got hauled up inside in the center.
33:24I couldn't move.
33:26Finally got the soap out of my eyes and I'm stark naked.
33:30And I'm lucky I didn't get pneumonia, I'll tell you.
33:33And these six little guys were standing around looking at me.
33:38Looking at me and looking at me and looking at me.
33:40All six of them looking at me.
33:42And I got great big eyes, black and dark eyes and thin little slip mouth.
33:48And I said, what the heck, what do you want me for?
33:51What did I do?
33:52I mean, you know, why am I here, right?
33:55So, they didn't say anything.
33:57Like, they're talking through, like, from their head to your head.
34:01And they said, don't worry, right?
34:04Don't worry, like, you're going to be okay.
34:06We're just going to take you in here for observation purposes, they said to me, you know.
34:12And then he said, he talked from his head to my head.
34:16No say nothing, just, you know, he said, hey.
34:21I said, hey.
34:23I said, what do you want with me?
34:26He said, don't be afraid, don't worry.
34:28You're going to be okay.
34:31He said, you come here this way, you lie on the table, okay?
34:34We'll just look you over, you know.
34:36I see maybe six or eight or ten people come in.
34:39Only little bambinos with big eyes and little mouth.
34:41You know, they look, look, look, look, look.
34:44No one say nothing, just look.
34:46They're going to come and get me again.
34:48But this time we invite them for manjari, huh?
34:53Funny thing was, I never seen a little alien fella heave up his cookies.
34:59That was the most funniest I ever did see.
35:02He just, he just keeled right over them bushes and just heaved up all his cookies.
35:07He came by just to borrow something.
35:10Yeah, I guess something went wrong with his craft over there.
35:13So we helped him out there.
35:15And one of his landing pods of the ship was stuck in the mud,
35:18on the side bank there of the creek.
35:20So Bud just went back in the truck, got a few wrenches here and there.
35:24We got the car jack lifted right up and just pushed out that sucker right off of the mud.
35:28About 25 footer.
35:3025 foot diameter easy.
35:32Yep, I'd say about that.
35:35There it was, it came right down on me.
35:38Yeah, man.
35:39Great big light, man, circling around, man.
35:42Yellow, red, yellow, red, orange, red, and white.
35:45White, red, red, orange, red, and yellow, red, green.
35:48The light come down and they come around, around.
35:51And they run around, around on my head, man, man.
35:55I wondered, bloody hell, what's going on here?
35:58All of a sudden I seen all these little guys come up with great big dark eyes,
36:02thin slit mouth, and there was one sort of skinny tall character.
36:08And I says, what, blinking hell, what's going on?
36:10What do you want with me?
36:12Oh, they got zapped right out and just frozen.
36:15And I just levitated right up and I just kept going.
36:19And I look up and there's this great big ship up there.
36:23It was massive, man, it was huge.
36:27It had lights and everything going, you know.
36:31I was in a red embarrassment, I was.
36:34Red as an apple.
36:37Tickling me foot, picking me ears, picking me eyes, me nostrils, me buttocks, everything.
36:45What the hell for?
36:46Why me, mate, eh?
36:48Probably going to mate me with some sort of chimpanzee or something like that.
36:52That's a low end shop, if you ask me.
36:55A real low end shop.
36:58It's UFOs, I think that they are here.
37:01I had a confrontation years ago when I was delivering over an Indian restaurant.
37:09And I was lost, I did not have my various map book, which means in the car.
37:16And I was driving around in circles and I got lost.
37:21So it was a lonely country road, it was very dark outside and I could not find out where I was.
37:26Nobody around to ask, no houses, no nothing.
37:30So I stopped the car and I looked through the maps and whatever I could find
37:34and I could not find the address of the place to deliver the food.
37:38So then, all of a sudden there was a shaft of lightning came on top of the car and covered the whole area
37:43and I was freaked out, I was so scared.
37:45I just peed in my pants, I was scared, you know.
37:50So this thing landed right in front of the car.
37:54And I did not want to move, I tried to hide behind the seat or under the seat.
38:00And all of a sudden there was a whole line of these little aliens just standing right beside the car.
38:07Right beside my door.
38:10And they were all standing in a line.
38:13And I wondered what should I do, I don't know what to do.
38:18They said, and they talked to me through their telepathy.
38:22And they said, why don't you come out, please.
38:28So I opened the car door and I stood and I looked at them and they all had paper plates and forks.
38:35And I think they wanted to try some of the food that I was delivering.
38:39They said they were very hungry and their food went bad through space.
38:43So I was very considerate at the time and I said, well, sure, my god, why don't you help yourself.
38:48You try some of this, you know.
38:51So it was quite a happy moment for me too.
38:55With some beautiful people.
38:57And they tried everything from chapatis to tandoori chicken to everything, you know.
39:08They came back for seconds, you know.
39:13I think, you know, they probably noticed the advertisement on top of the car, you know.
39:24They loved their food, you know.
39:26Then they left and they said, well, we'll probably pop in some day unexpectedly in your restaurant.
39:35Yes, they are here, they exist.
39:38I had the experience of meeting these lovable people.
39:42Hmm.
39:57During Earth's prehistoric period, our primitive ancestors began documenting their life's experiences onto cave walls.
40:05Their eyes were cameras and the walls became their historic memoirs.
40:09Deep into the heart of the jungle near the foothills of La Paloma, Peru, just 50 miles northwest of Machu Picchu,
40:17there lies a cave well preserved with some rather unusual drawings dating back to 2 million years BC.
40:25One particular drawing has an element of surprise which baffles a perpetuating theory.
40:32The theory of early ET visitations.
40:38This remarkable cave was discovered by Dr. Adu Habad Abadie.
40:43He is now encouraging the world to open their minds and acknowledge early ET visitors.
40:52Of course, there are some examples that are existing on cave walls, particularly in the La Paloma caves in South America.
41:03And we are still in quest of what year or when it actually all happened.
41:11We are really not sure. It's very hard for us to pinpoint exactly in time when.
41:17They are here. There must be someone inside who can tell us all this information.
41:24Because so far, governments have been very uncooperative and very negative about this.
41:31We need more support. We need an open door to guide us. We need light.
41:45We need support.
41:48It has been some time now, we are receiving more and more information from all over.
41:58People are opening up. Governments are coming forward.
42:03And they are slowly but surely admitting to the fact that we have been visited.
42:10They are here and they do have all documentation forms pertaining to the visitations.
42:19Many of them are very concrete and very strong.
42:25But it is through time that some governments have to cooperate.
42:44If scientists can't receive communication from the ETs across our vast galaxies and Milky Ways,
42:50then leave it up to others who possess unusual communicative talents to do the job.
42:55Meet FastEddy Dwayne Gilbert, a psychic channeler from Sedona, Arizona.
43:00Dwayne has a rare and unusual gift of channeling through his table hockey game to a former hockey player spirit named Lucky Pucky Bob McGregor.
43:29McGregor once played for the Seattle Chiefs during the 1953 season and then suddenly disappeared.
43:36FastEddy has written two books on table hockey channeling.
43:40It's Hockey Night in the Cosmos and I Channel Hockey with the Zeltoids.
43:53This Sedona channeler has been communicating to ETs for over 15 years.
43:58Each time when FastEddy conducts a chant, he is picking up signals from afar.
44:03He is giving coordinates and times of where he will rendezvous with the aliens.
44:14Yeah! I got another vibe coming in man.
44:18This vibe is really deep and it's reaching my forum.
44:21It's reaching my stadium. It's reaching all and touching the stadium man.
44:26They're saying something to me, really important.
44:29They're going to say, they're going to say, they're going to say something.
44:35They're speaking to me.
44:40Man over blue line, he's offside.
44:44They're going to come and touch us and they're going to help us design a new cup man.
44:51That's what they're going to do.
44:52They initially designed the top part of the cup and they didn't get any credit.
44:56You know that man? This top part. They didn't get any credit.
45:00This is not the Stanley Cup. This is alien cup from the planet Phlebas.
45:06It's just a sister planet. It's like our planet man.
45:11All the vegetation, water, rocks and everything else, minerals and everything.
45:14But it's on the other side. We can't see it.
45:16You can't see anything on the other side of the fence if you're on the other side of the hill.
45:20You know what I mean?
45:22Too many men on the ice man. Too many men on the ice.
45:32That's bad right there. They're touching me.
45:43Rebounded off. Center man didn't get it in.
45:46That means they're rescheduling another destination time and place where we're going to meet all at once.
45:50And I don't know when but it's going to be something fabulous man.
45:53And I'm going to take my picnic basket and my wine and everything else, coolers.
45:57And we're going to have a party.
45:59I can't wait to see them land because it's going to be like a spectacular sight.
46:03You know?
46:05I'm getting another vibe man. It's coming in heavy.
46:08They're talking to me like I'm a satellite dish.
46:12I don't need cable. I'm picking up every vibe and I've got 5 million channels and they're talking to me.
46:17It's babbling brook time.
46:28They scored man. They scored.
46:32They scored on me.
46:34Alright. Far out.
46:38See? Psychic abilities man.
46:41My vibes.
46:43Reaching out.
46:45And they touched this game.
46:48Every player on this board game deserves some credit.
46:54I'm going to kick these guys all out for brinks man.
47:00I don't know man. This is where they're supposed to meet me right?
47:03We decided to hitch a ride with Fast Eddie for his hopeful rendezvous with the aliens.
47:08They're supposed to meet me right here outside of his supermarket man.
47:12And I've been stood up man.
47:16I don't see anybody. You see any aliens?
47:20Alien told me he's going to carry a milk bag with him.
47:28I don't see any flying saucers man.
47:31I've been stood up man.
47:34I've been stood up again.
47:36I've been stood up again.
47:38This ain't fair man.
47:50Na na na na na.
47:54I know they're coming soon man.
47:57They're coming soon. This is my rendezvous point.
48:00Na na na na na.
48:04They can feel the chant. They can feel the chant.
48:08They're coming for me because I know they're coming.
48:12They said this is the field man.
48:14They're supposed to meet me right here man.
48:16Na na na na na.
48:20Na na na na na.
48:23Regardless of what unorthodox, relentless avenue one takes,
48:27our endeavors to communicate with the ETs never seems to cease.
48:30As we leave our disheartened Fast Eddie,
48:33we hope that one day his optimism and tenacity will pay off.
48:38They're supposed to meet me right here man.
48:41Na na na na na.
48:44Hell you're not. What are you doing?
48:46Get out of our property.
48:55I think you'll find this session quite...
48:58My hunchback knocked over a book.
49:13I can't do this. I can't do this.
49:22I was writing so many stories about the ETs.
49:26So many stories about this.
49:29And these authors, I think...
49:39Okay, we'll start.
49:46You know...
49:52I can't watch it.
49:56I haven't eaten anything either, so I'm hungry.
49:59My stomach is...
50:00Here, eat a pillow.
50:03It is very hard to decide which one is good.
50:10It is...
50:17UFO.
50:20UFO.
50:23I got abducted by a UFO.
50:30Little guys all around me.
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