Mongo Like Candy (2006) - Short - video Dailymotion

Film Gorillas

Comedy / Short (2006) 28 minutes ~ Color    A clean comedy film, parodying film and television. Take five talented and funny individuals, put them in a room, take away their food, take away their PlayStation 2, and what do you have? "Mongo Like Candy". Originally produced as a sketch Comedy show for Pinellas County Public Access in Clearwater, FL., "Mongo" has since gone on to win international acclaim at the Hometown Video Festival held in Monterey, CA., winning the Entertainment/Variety award. "Mongo" takes its shots at talk shows, public service announcements, Horror movies, and TV commercials.    Director: Paul Douglas    Writers: Chris Gorges, Marty Hoffman, Tim Kidd and Jason Kraynek    Stars: Chris Gorges, Jason Kraynek

Transcript

00:00Hi, I'm Bill Smith of the Smith, Potter & Dale Law Firm.

00:27Have you been accused of gross negligence?

00:29Were you injured in a freak parachute accident?

00:32Have you been accused of hurting yourself on somebody else's property through no fault of anybody but yours?

00:38Well, at this law firm, we're ready to listen.

00:41I can't read that font, man.

00:49Good evening, and welcome to Predictably Incorrect.

00:52I'm your host, Skye Thompson, and you might recognize me from the Weather Channel.

00:56I'm one of the premier forecasters on that channel, have been for a couple number of years here.

01:01The topic of today's discussion is weather.

01:03And as you know, the Weather Channel is considered to be one of the best forecasters

01:07and prognosticators of global events and environmental changes on the planet.

01:14But as you know, the cable networks are varied, and there are a lot of them.

01:18So we decided to bring some of the weathermen from those cable channels onto our program to speak about the weather today.

01:23So let's meet them.

01:24On our left, we have from the New Age Network, Justin Edwards.

01:28Justin, welcome to the program.

01:30Hey, it's such a good pleasure to be here. Thank you very much.

01:32No problem.

01:33On my right, from PBS, we have Mark Johnson.

01:36Mark, welcome to the program.

01:40Okay.

01:41And on the left, of course, last but not least, we have from the country music channel, Earl Wright.

01:47Earl, welcome.

01:48Good to see you, Scott.

01:49Good to be here.

01:50Right on. Thank you very much.

01:51We bought you a T-shirt from the network.

01:53Oh, thank you very much.

01:55I'm sure that will stretch out.

01:57Earl, got a little something on your nose there.

02:00Okay.

02:01All right, well, let's go ahead and start right away.

02:03We just want to talk a little bit about tomorrow's weather.

02:05What we're going to cover in this show is who's right, who's wrong, and accuracy, how we achieve it.

02:10But let's talk about tomorrow's weather.

02:12Justin, if you want to start and give us just a quick forecast of the weather tomorrow.

02:15I'm seeing two things.

02:16I'm seeing a letter and I'm seeing a number.

02:20Do you believe the letter would be an H and the number would be a 2?

02:28H and a 2 would be H2O would be water, which would be rain.

02:33Rain.

02:34I'm predicting rain tomorrow about 745.

02:38Okay.

02:39745 with the rain.

02:40Rain.

02:41There's definitely rain.

02:42How does PBS feel about that?

02:45Well, PBS doesn't actually have a prediction for tomorrow's weather.

02:48But let me tell you what we're trying to do.

02:50We're trying to set up weather that you will not get a chance to see on the major networks.

02:55That's what we're wanting to do.

02:56And I think as long as you send in your donations, then we will be able to –

03:01Mark, Mark, Mark.

03:02What?

03:03You can't ask for donations on my show.

03:04You have to pay for advertising.

03:06But we need donations for you to not get the man's weather.

03:09You don't want government-enforced weather.

03:11I think they understand that public broadcasting –

03:13I think I understand that people understand that that's a donation sort of thing.

03:17I think we know that.

03:18And your donations count.

03:20If you can please send in your money to help us predict the weather, we're going to give you great weather.

03:24Do you have a prediction for the weather tomorrow?

03:27We don't have any equipment yet, but your dollars will buy us equipment.

03:31Just stop.

03:32If you don't have one, just stop.

03:33Earl, your prediction for the weather.

03:35Well, the dew's going to be frosting on the mountaintops tomorrow.

03:38Fish is going to be at a slow catfish at the bottom.

03:41And I see an ale on her forehead.

03:44Excuse me?

03:46I didn't understand anything about a catfish.

03:48I thought we were doing weather.

03:50Well, you can't knock Justin for his methods.

03:53I mean, you know, he's got to predict –

03:54My methods are very trained.

03:56I've been doing this for 35 years.

03:58Well, you know what?

03:59That brings us to the next subject.

04:00How do we get the weather forecast?

04:02We all know how we get it at the Weather Channel.

04:04Earl, how do you get the weather?

04:06What sort of techniques, what technology do you use?

04:08Oh, sure, go to the corporation with the biggest money first.

04:11No, I just picked him because he was the last.

04:13No, no, it's all about the money is what it's about.

04:15That's fine.

04:16Actually, if I can interject, I don't believe Earl has any money at all.

04:19Have you seen his outfit?

04:20I mean, it is ragged, ragged.

04:22He hasn't even been to a washer.

04:24His company is the fifth largest in the United States,

04:28where the top 1% of that company are making so much money,

04:32and the other people, the lower people are making nothing.

04:34You seem like you're dressed pretty nice, like you're the top 1%.

04:38Well, well, well, over in England, we do have the New Age Channel,

04:41which I do believe you Americans don't even have yet.

04:44But it is a new channel full of thoughts and ideas and creativity.

04:49Look, I don't want to get into money or economics.

04:51I just want to know about the damn weather.

04:53Can we talk about the weather, please?

04:55How about that? You guys are weathermen, right?

04:57London boy don't like America. He should go home.

04:59Huh? How about that?

05:00Well, actually, I was only flown over here for this show,

05:03and then I am. I'm right back out to England in about two clicks, and then I'm gone.

05:08And we can give you the weather in London if you just send in your money to us.

05:12All right, you know what, Mark? Stop. Stop with the sending the money.

05:15Oh, because you don't want us to have any money,

05:17so your fascist self can give us your fascist weather.

05:20All right, you know what? I will kick your skinny butt all over this studio.

05:24I don't get any money. You know what?

05:26I got like 900 bucks taken out of my check last week.

05:29Where do you think that went? To the government.

05:31Guys, guys, guys. Let's get back to the weather, please.

05:35I'm sorry.

05:36Rain. Rain. Rain. Predicting rain.

05:39Rain. What's your forecast?

05:41Cold snap frost.

05:42Cold snap frost. How about you?

05:44Poverty. Poverty because the man holds us back.

05:48All right, you know what? You don't have to spit on my neck, Mark.

05:51All right, I invited you on.

05:52You know, we didn't have to.

05:53We could have gotten some public access weathermen to come up here.

05:55We didn't have to get PBS, okay?

05:58All right, well, there you have it.

05:59We have very differing views about the weather.

06:01I'm here to tell you that the Weather Channel says that you're wrong and you're wrong

06:06and you, you know, stick to the ballet stuff.

06:09He is a fascist. Maybe you need to find Jesus, Sky.

06:13Yeah, I could help you get there.

06:15All right, you know what?

06:16Actually, I do know Jesus' weather is very clear.

06:20All right, look, that's all the time we have for today.

06:23I think we've got a clear view that we're not going to really get it together on the weather.

06:27Thank you, thank you, thank you.

06:28You know, that is so wrong.

06:30Thanks for tuning in to Predictably Incorrect.

06:33Sky, I mean, I'm sorry, Justin and Mark and Earl.

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12:27at the Lifetime Network, HGTV, and Haagen-Dazs' new chocolate orgasm ice cream with progesterone.

12:34Men have been trying to fight back, but only seem to be able to last the length of one

12:39sporting event.

12:40Oh, wait.

12:41This just in.

12:42We have a special on-the-scene report from our reporter on the field, Phil Tompkins.

12:46Phil, are you there?

12:47Can we get the remote to come in, Phil?

12:48This is Phil Tompkins, live on the scene at Clearwater Mall.

12:52About 30 minutes ago, you would have never known it, but a freak hurricane something

12:56never happened before in the history of Florida came through and completely destroyed the

13:01Clearwater Mall.

13:02As you can see behind me, rubble of shots of what used to be beautiful shopping centers,

13:08places to buy yogurt, fashion clothes, yuppie clothes, you name it.

13:12It was here at Clearwater Mall, and for 30 minutes, just complete and total destruction.

13:18You can see the bulldozers there.

13:19The bulldozers, apparently, they've been searching for rubble and searching for survivors.

13:24Apparently, they're taking a little break right now, but they'll be back on the job.

13:28Body parts everywhere, complete pandemonium.

13:30They've even put a fence up to keep the reporters and onlookers out.

13:34No, no, you have to go back, sir.

13:35No, sir.

13:36Back, back, back.

13:37Okay.

13:38That was such a strange thing.

13:39You can even tell destruction on one side, and it completely left this building all alone.

13:44No destruction at all.

13:46It's just, it's crazy.

13:47We don't know what's...

13:48It's never happened before, and then all of a sudden, 30 minutes later, it's clear.

13:51Uh, Phil, uh, Phil, it wasn't a hurricane, Phil.

13:55It wasn't a hurricane.

13:56This wasn't a hurricane?

13:57A freak hurricane?

13:58Nope.

13:59Was not a hurricane.

14:00They're just knocking...

14:01No?

14:02No, they're just knocking down the mall.

14:03They're just tearing it down for new office buildings?

14:07Well, we're not sure.

14:08We don't know what they're...

14:09But they got...

14:10There's bulldozers.

14:11Right.

14:12That's part of the crew.

14:13And this building?

14:14And they're going to knock that down tomorrow.

14:16They're going to tear that down, too?

14:19Yep.

14:20So this isn't a...

14:21No, no.

14:22I think you're mistaken, Phil.

14:23This is not...

14:24No.

14:25Well, this has been Phil Tompkins live at what was Clearwater Mall.

14:33Back to you.

14:44That was an interesting report from Phil Tompkins.

14:47You know what?

14:48We're going to take a break and hear from our local sponsors, and then we'll be right

14:50back with more MLC news on the MLC Network.

15:13Hi.

15:14I'm Phil Smith of the Smith, Potter & Dale Law Firm.

15:18Have you been accused of gross negligence?

15:20Were you injured in a freak skydiving accident?

15:24Have you been accused of hurting yourself on somebody else's property through no fault

15:27of anybody but yours?

15:29Well, at this law firm, we're ready to listen.

15:33And if you are not satisfied, we have a 90-day money-back guarantee.

15:44Thanks.

15:56Welcome back from the break.

15:57My name is Christopher Montone, and this is Mongo Like Candy News Network.

16:01At a religious retreat, a worried traveler got into a theological discussion last week

16:05with one of the retreat's chosen ones.

16:08At some point, he was beaten about the head and neck with a receptacle of liquid.

16:13When questioned, the chosen one replied, what?

16:16The water was blessed.

16:19And finally, in a human interest story, men have been acquiring the ability to coordinate

16:23colors in clothing, giving them the appearance of homosexuality.

16:28Men have been reportedly using this guise to trick women into being their friends.

16:33However, it has been also observed that once the ultimate friendship occurs between men

16:39and women, men lose their interest and end up visiting a lingerie shop looking for stuff

16:45for his girlfriend.

16:46Yeah, sure.

16:47This has been Mongo Like Candy News.

16:49My name is Chris Montone.

16:50Have a great weekend.

16:51We'll see you here next week, same station, same time.

16:59Thanks a lot.

17:09Hi, I'm Bill Smith of the Smith Potter and Dale Law Firm.

17:13Have you been accused of gross negligence?

17:15Were you injured in a freak skydiving accident?

17:19Have you been accused of hurting yourself on somebody else's property through no fault

17:22of anybody but yours?

17:23Well, at this law firm, we're ready to listen.

17:30So remember, when others say no, we'll take the case.

17:35Alright, you know what?

17:36This is ridiculous.

17:37Who puts the real pencils down?

17:38I'm the only one who does.

17:39Who puts the real pencils down?

17:40I'm the only one who does.

17:41Who puts the real pencils down?

17:42I'm the only one who does.

18:07I'm the only one who does.

18:23Who puts the real pencils down?

18:36I'm the only one who does.

18:56I'm the only one who does.

19:24Who puts the real pencils down?

19:52I'm the only one who does.

20:21Hi, I'm Bill Smith of the Smith Potter and Dale Law Firm.

20:42Have you been accused of gross negligence?

20:45Were you injured in a skydiving accident?

20:47Have you been accused of hurting yourself on somebody else's property due to nobody's

20:50fault but your own?

20:51Well, at this law firm, we're ready to listen.

20:59Hi, I'm Bill Smith of the Smith Potter and Dale Law Firm.

21:03Have you been accused of gross negligence?

21:05Have you been injured in a free parachute accident?

21:08Have you ever been accused of hurting yourself on somebody else's property through no fault

21:13of anybody but yours?

21:15Well, I just got off the phone with a lady who was very, very successful in her trial

21:19because of our law firm.

21:20I'll give her a redone.

21:22That's it!

21:23Get out, Dale!

21:24Dale!

21:25Cut, man.

21:26Go back.

21:27I can't do it.

21:28You don't say.

21:29You don't say.

21:30You don't say.

21:31You don't say.

21:32You don't say.

21:33You don't say.

21:34You don't say.

21:35You don't say.

21:36You don't say.

21:37You don't say.

21:38You don't say.

21:39You don't say.

21:40You don't say.

21:41You don't say.

21:42You don't say.

21:43You don't say.

21:44You just stand there.

21:45Just stand there, Dale.

21:46This is your problem, Bill.

21:47I'm sorry.

21:48I'm sorry.

21:49I had to bring him in because he's irrelevant and I can't help that.

21:50He's not even going to help us.

21:51Is it okay?

21:52No, it's not okay.

21:53He's got his law degree in the Caribbean, for God's sake.

21:54He's a Trinidad lawyer.

21:55Hey, chill out.

21:56Sometimes, we don't take a case.

21:57Sometimes, there's cases.

21:58Cut.

21:59Cut.

22:00Cut.

22:01But there's cases.

22:02Dale.

22:03Dale.

22:04Dale.

22:05Please, could you just go get some coffee?

22:06I can't.

22:07I can't.

22:08Dale!

22:09Dale.

22:10Dale.

22:11Dale.

22:12Dale.

22:13Can I get some coffee or something?

22:15You want coffee?

22:16Yes, I'd like some coffee.

22:17Yes, coffee.

22:18Please.

22:19It'd be good.

22:20I'd like a cup of coffee, please.

23:06I don't know why he has to be here in the first place.

23:08I told you, my wife told me that was her stepson-in-law.

23:11Well, I don't like your wife, and I certainly don't like your stepson-in-law.

23:14Well, I'm sorry.

23:15I don't even know what that means.

23:16It's got to be...

23:17All right, man.

23:18I got coffee.

23:19You ready to do this?

23:20I'm ready, man.

23:21Are you ready?

23:22All right, can we just please?

23:48Sure.

23:49Don't stop.

23:50You don't just stop.

23:51Then there'll be phones ringing, man.

23:52No, there's no phone ringing.

23:53I'm just...

23:54What if I call?

23:55It's a fake phone.

23:56It's not real.

23:57Quiet on the set.

23:59Last one, please.

24:00Okay.

24:01We don't have a whole lot of time with this.

24:02This is going to break us.

24:03All right.

24:04Seventeen.

24:05Seventeen.

24:06I'm sorry, what take?

24:07Eighteen?

24:08Take...

24:09Nineteen?

24:10Eighteen.

24:11Eighteen.

24:12Eighteen.

24:13Eighteen.

24:14Eighteen.

24:15Eight.

24:16Eight.

24:17Eight.

24:18Eight.

24:19Eight.

24:20Can we have a moment with our third partner?

24:24Can we just...

24:25Just cut that off.

24:26Okay, yes.

24:27Just cut it off, there you go.

24:28Thanks.

24:29I'll take the camera off.

24:30He's so...

24:31I'll come with you.

24:33There's a phone for you outside.

24:37This phone is a set.

24:40This is a set phone.

24:42It doesn't work.

24:43You sure you can't take it?

24:44Go on, dude.

24:45Go on, dude.

24:46Yeah, he's coming.

24:47Yeah, no, leave the phone, please.

24:48He's coming.

24:49Here, give me the pencil.

24:50Yeah, there's a phone.

24:52Actually, there's a guy here.

24:54There's a phone.

25:01What's your name?

25:05Hi, I'm Bill Smith of the Smith, Potter & Bob Law Firm.

25:09Have you been accused of gross negligence?

25:12Were you injured in a freak skydiving accident?

25:15Have you been accused of hurting yourself on somebody else's property

25:18through no fault of anybody's but your own?

25:21Well, at this law firm, we're ready to listen.

25:25And if you'll just call the number at the bottom of the screen there,

25:30they can help you with your law stuff.

25:33So remember, when others say no, we take the case.

25:37Case.

25:39When others say no, we take the case.

25:44Smith, Potter & Bob, how can I help you?

25:55Hi, I'm Bill Smith of the Smith, Potter & Dale Law Firm.

26:05I'm not getting enough time to start.

26:07I'm not getting enough time to start.

26:09Did you see the pullback on that?

26:13Have you been accused of gross negligence?

26:16When it cuts to... I like it with the thing being...

26:25Take 11.

26:29Hi, I'm Bill Smith of the Smith, Potter & Dale Law Firm.

26:33We specialize in the unusual...

26:38Tim, this is a little complicated for you.

26:41Okay, shoot, zoom, time. Shoot.

26:44Marty.

26:50Have you been accused of gross negligence?

26:54Are you not paying attention?

27:00I'm sorry.

27:02Yeah.

27:05I forgot it's linked to. All right, I got it.

27:08Action.

27:38Thanks for watching.

28:08You

Mongo Like Candy (2006) - Short

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