00:01I've been in love with Blair for three years and I'm finally going to have my first kiss with her.
00:13This will be perfect. Fireworks, just like on TV.
00:17Into your lungs.
00:27That's, that's enough.
00:29Guys, guys, come on, give him a break. No one's first kiss is pretty.
00:33Oh my god, is this your first kiss?
00:35Fuck this.
00:40I finally had the chance to kiss Blair Price and I blew it.
00:44Leo, you okay?
00:45Now Blair will never see me as an option.
00:49You know Blair's kind of a bitch, right?
00:51Don't say that about her.
00:53Okay. If you really want her, I can help you.
00:56I know girls. I know what they want. I know what they don't want. I know the whole book.
01:00Why would you help me? We hate each other.
01:03I need help passing art class.
01:05If I fail, I'm getting expelled and we both know what that means.
01:08So help me with art and I'll help you seducing Blair.
01:11Do you promise it'll work?
01:13Oh yeah.
01:14She'll be begging for you.
01:17Do we have a deal?
01:20Deal?
01:22I look forward to tomorrow.
01:24What's tomorrow?
01:26Our first sex lesson.
01:31I've moved dorm rooms eight times since the landing at Maplewood Reform Academy.
01:35The hellish school for bad boys.
01:38I hate everything and everyone in this school.
01:42Except for the love of my life.
01:45Blair Price.
01:46Just like that.
01:56Just like that.
01:57Ever thought about knocking?
01:59What the fuck?
02:00Tyler is my new roommate.
02:02And he just hooked up with the girl I've loved for three years.
02:06Did you sneak into my room to fuck?
02:09Sorry, we were just having some fun.
02:11I live here, genius.
02:13That's my bet.
02:16Ty, I'm gonna get going, okay?
02:26I can teach you how to get her, you know?
02:28You're gonna need some game if you want to pull the headmaster's thoughts.
02:37You are so down bad.
02:39No wonder she doesn't like you back.
02:41How would you know what she likes?
02:42Because I just had my head between her legs.
02:46If you kiss my dick, you still might be able to taste her lip gloss.
02:49You're disgusting.
02:49You are a lonely simp.
02:51Everyone knows you're in love with Blair.
02:53Stay out of my way and get the hell away from me.
02:55Nope.
02:56As long as we live together, you're mine.
02:58You're mine to fuck as I please.
03:00I'm yours to what?
03:01Fuck with.
03:02You're mine to fuck with as I please.
03:08I've already made an enemy out of my new roommate.
03:12I'm so screwed.
03:21Have you changed my onion layer while I was sleeping?
03:27You're such a pretty little virgin.
03:28Not funny.
03:30Did you see my junk?
03:33No, no, no.
03:34I tried sneaking a peek though, but it's too small to see anything.
03:39You like it?
03:41No!
03:43That's it.
03:45We're gonna need to set some ground rules so that we make it through the school year without killing each
03:49other and getting expelled!
03:52Wow, feisty.
03:59This is your side of the room.
04:01That means you and all of your stuff stays on your side.
04:10Don't.
04:12The door isn't your side.
04:16How do I leave the room?
04:20Obviously you can cross to leave.
04:24Are you leaving or not?
04:26No, I just changed my mind.
04:27Or is that not allowed to room Hitler?
04:29Fine.
04:30Whatever.
04:33Changed my mind again.
04:40Do it again.
04:42Do it again.
04:42I dare you.
04:52Get.
04:53Out.
04:54Of.
04:54Room!
05:00I hate you!
05:10You don't hate me.
05:11You just wanna beat me.
05:14Take that out of my way!
05:16No!
05:19No!
05:21No!
05:21No!
05:22No!
05:23No!
05:25That is enough!
05:27You two in my office.
05:29Now!
05:30No!
05:30No!
05:31No!
05:31No!
05:32Do you think Bapelwood is a joke?
05:36You realize that if you are expelled you will rot in prison.
05:42Please.
05:43I can't go to prison.
05:44It won't happen again, headmaster.
05:48You.
05:49You're dismissed.
05:57you are flunking art class pass or you get expelled and you go to prison
06:03fuck this is serious I cannot go to prison
06:15listen dude we can't give each other hell all year okay so what if we tried being friends
06:22you hooked up with the love of my life we will never be friends
06:37I need to tell Blair about my feelings for her before my asshole roommate does it for me
06:42now is the perfect time
07:09what's this
07:12I don't expect you to feel the same way you're an angel and I'm just some guy but if you
07:18could
07:18see me in that way is this for Blair I hate to break it to you but she already got
07:25cucked by Tyler shut up Jackson how does it feel to simp up for a girl so ran through
07:31there's probably a brand of plan B named after her keep talking about Blair like that
07:34I'll break your jaw why no matter what you do she's never gonna fuck you
07:44there she is
07:48let's see how much you still like her once she's nothing more than my sloppy seconds
07:58hey you don't even like her neither do you you still fucked her come on he really cares
08:04about her and Leo's my roommate now I've got to get Leo on my side if I'm ever going to
08:09get
08:09his help for art class why the hell is he being cool to me good then he can cry to
08:16you and my dicks in her mouth
08:20ladies what do you say we ditched the job fair and found some place for a private game
08:26what kind of game spin the bottle I'm down to play
08:33you coming I don't trust Tyler but new plan I can kiss Blair during the game then tell her how
08:42I feel
08:47all right Leo why don't you get us started
09:07I can't it's against the rules and I'm not gay bro chill just spin again
09:33this will be perfect fireworks just like on TV so are you gonna kiss her
10:08guys guys guys come on give him a break
10:09no one's first kiss is pretty okay wait oh my god is this your first kiss like seriously
10:19please the only girlfriend Leo's ever had is his wife
10:37finally had the chance to kiss Blair price and I blew it Leo you okay no I'm not okay this
10:44was all your fault now Blair will never see me as an option
10:51you know Blair's kind of a bitch right don't say that about her okay if you really want her I
10:57can help you I know girls I know what they want I know what they don't want to know the
11:01whole book
11:01why would you help me we hate each other because I need help passing art class if I fail I'm
11:07getting expelled and you both know what that means
11:09so help me with art and I'll help you seducing Blair do you promise it'll work
11:14oh yeah she'll be begging for you
11:17do we have a deal
11:22deal
11:24I look forward to tomorrow
11:25what's tomorrow
11:27our first sex lesson
11:34all right welcome to Tyler's 101 on how to get a girl
11:39if you want to get a girl there are three rules you need to follow
11:42okay rule number one be appealing
11:46I'm going to some classes fix your hair
11:48just look at me
11:49rule number two be entertaining
11:52I myself I am funny sweet and charming
11:56I'm not sure if you can pull that off maybe you should go the mysterious torture route
12:00seriously
12:00ah above all
12:04rule number three
12:07be
12:08un-fucking-attainable
12:10Blair's only going to want you if you act like you don't want Blair
12:14right now you're reek of desperate obsession
12:16I am desperately obsessed
12:18maybe but Blair won't think so if you hook up with someone tonight at the scrapyard
12:23how I suck at kissing
12:24it's okay I'll teach you
12:26teach me
12:27to kiss
12:28how
12:29there's only one way to do it
12:32what the fuck
12:33oh come on
12:33how are you going to learn without practicing
12:35I'm not gay
12:36neither am I
12:38it's not gay to show you what to do with a girl
12:42maybe Tyler has a point
12:45if anyone finds out about this
12:47we will both be expelled and sent to prison
12:50all right fine
12:50don't take my advice
12:52good luck getting rejected by Blair again
12:54wait
12:57you can't tell anyone
13:00yeah
13:00I'm not a fucking idiot
13:03let's do this
13:10wait
13:11right now
13:12yes of course
13:14you still want to suck at kissing tonight
13:16tonight is the night
13:18okay everyone is going to be at the scrapyard
13:19this could be you
13:22okay
13:22be un-fucking-attainable
13:24and make out with someone right in front of Blair
13:26and piss her off
13:29fine
13:30I mean this better work
13:33yeah it will
13:34just take a deep breath
13:36and relax
13:39I am relaxed
13:41okay
13:42when it comes to kissing
13:43the buildup is almost just as important as the actual kiss
13:48looking for you
13:49your teacher Tyler
13:50came up with a bit of a formula
13:51on this one
13:53what's the formula
13:54glad you asked
13:56step one
13:57first you want to feel the moment
13:59where you can
14:00tuck your hair behind her ear
14:03like this
14:05then
14:06you want to look into her eyes
14:08eye contact is very important
14:10look down at her lips
14:11very briefly
14:11look back up at her eyes
14:13then you say
14:14wow
14:16you look
14:16beautiful
14:19then you want to lean in
14:23like this
14:24yeah exactly like that
14:27and don't freak out on me
14:28okay
