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00:10scientific
00:12scientific
00:12scientific
00:13scientific
00:13scientific
00:15I had to ban the kids in my pre-k class from saying rest in peace my granny she got
00:19hit by a bazooka kabloom kablow
00:22yeah the schoolyard chants have really gotten out of hand since I was there
00:26getting married
00:27One year my kindergartners started to propose to each other and get married
00:30I'm not talking like one couple in a cute wedding
00:33it was five proposals and it was messy
00:36I had to ban the gummy bear song in my pre-k classroom
00:39Because a kid pulled down his pants and shook his bear ass in another kid's face
00:44I don't even know this song but from context it sounds like a banger
00:47I was part of the silly bands band of 2009
00:50same here r.i.p silly bands you were awesome
00:53and painful
00:54Daycare staff here no playing family
00:56they started playing role getting divorced and having affairs
00:59and then you gotta look at the parents when they come for pickup knowing where they learned this
01:04I had to ban the spray ground backpack tags
01:07they became the currency of an underground water flavor packet ring
01:11on the morning announcements in junior high
01:13They said no more corndogging
01:15And that basically meant no shoving your knee into someone's butt
01:20Corndogging is a hilarious term for that
01:22I'm sorry
01:22I'm not mature enough to be a teacher
01:24kids kept saying diddy
01:25so I said diddy is banned from the classroom
01:28And a girl said I sure hope he is
01:30to be fair
01:31yeah keep diddy away from all the kids
01:33actually keep diddy in prison forever
01:35that's the move
01:36had to ban bombo clack
01:37Because there were some jamaican kids who knew what that word meant
01:40What does that word mean?
01:41I just looked it up
01:42I can't say it on here
01:43y'all can google that one yourselves
01:44In middle school we couldn't have water bottles unless they were clear
01:48Because some older kids had vodka in a water bottle
01:50do they not get that vodka is clear
01:52Common sense was chasing them
01:54They were faster
01:55In pre-k we were allowed to bring our own toys for the play sets
01:57I brought a frying pan for the cooking set
01:59and hit a kid with it
02:01Toy regulation was put in place the next day
02:03ketchup packets
02:04in banned
02:05Because why did I open a trombone case
02:07with 83 ketchup packets in it
02:10they got banned from our school
02:11because boys kept taking them into the bathroom
02:13and twisting them up
02:14and stepping on it
02:15so they would splatter all over the toilets and the wall
02:17kids in ketchup packets man
02:18can't be trusted
02:19my teachers banned us from saying
02:21Bob Sagat in 8th grade
02:22Because we used it in place of cuss words
02:25talking about the great depression
02:27Specifically saying I was around during it
02:29I'm 23
02:31kids are brutal man
02:33in the 7th grade my principal went on the intercom
02:35to announce that slap butt friday was banned
02:37When I was a kid the Jewish top dreidel game got banned
02:40A friend of mine in elementary taught all the kids how to play
02:43as part of our holiday party
02:44and accidentally started a gambling ring
02:47what'd y'all even have to gamble with
02:49tiny plastic baby Jesus
02:51someone brought a pack of probably 200 of the little guys
02:54that come in king cakes
02:55and proceeded to hide them everywhere in the 5th grade hall
02:59We found them for two years afterwards
03:01Again I could never be a teacher
03:03Because I think this is hilarious
03:05I remember in 7th grade
03:07they banned smarties at school
03:08because kids kept cigarettes in them
03:10low key kind of smart
03:11I teach at a summer camp
03:12In 2024 I had to ban the phrase
03:14what the sigma
03:15Because it was making a little girl cry from overwhelm
03:18God, I feel old
03:19I don't even know what this means
03:20Michael Jackson
03:21all of Michael Jackson
03:23songs
03:23hee hee
03:24the pose
03:25all of it
03:26my 7 year old cousin
03:27He is currently obsessed with Michael Jackson
03:29He would lose his mind
03:31if it was banned
03:32I work with teens
03:33and the rule
03:33You are not allowed to summon satan in this classroom
03:36are words I never thought I would have to utter
03:39Summoning satan is an outdoor activity
03:41animal noises
03:43It got so bad
03:44that we had a daily zoo time
03:46for two minutes before lunch
03:47where they could make any animal noise
03:49but if they made noises before daily zoo time
03:51we didn't earn it
03:52I mean chestnut checkers though
03:53great solution
03:54My elementary school banned rocks
03:56paved over all open dirt
03:58and enclosed all of the plants
03:59Because kids were throwing rocks at each other in mass
04:02And there were a lot of injuries
04:03Shortly after they banned backpacks
04:05because kids were bringing rocks from home
04:08my school had to ban snowball fights though
04:10Because rocks were in the snowballs
04:12But kids couldn't see them
04:13and a kid like lost his eye
04:15I had to ban pencil sharpeners from my art room
04:17because students were stealing them
04:19and then taking them apart
04:20to use the blade inside to stab each other
04:23what? this is like some prison sh**
04:26When I was in 8th grade
04:27We had lunchables banned
04:28Because we would throw the meat at the ceiling and the walls
04:30one kid threw the meat at my science teacher's bald head
04:34Did it stick?
04:35I had to ban my preschoolers from saying
04:37if you don't stop blank
04:39I'm going to shave you bald
04:40and they literally wouldn't stop threatening each other
04:43yo mama jokes because they'd start crying
04:46We compromised with my mama jokes
04:48when they'd make a joke about their own mother
04:50I feel like this is just another way to stop
04:52the yo mama jokes
04:53Because like who's joking about their own mom
04:55I had to ban a nickname they made for me
04:57they started calling me MLK Jr.
05:00I am a white woman
05:01sixth grade science class
05:03and the mention of Harambe was absolutely banned
05:05when leggings first got really popular in like 2013
05:08My middle school banned them
05:10Because they were inappropriate
05:11All of the boys protested by showing up to school
05:14a few days later wearing leggings
05:16love the solidarity
05:17way back when I was in middle school
05:19South Park premiered
05:20the character Mr. Mackey was based on a guidance advisor
05:23that Trey Parker had
05:24that counselor ended up being my seventh grade social studies teacher
05:28He really did sound like that
05:29and said things like
05:30Okay
05:30when South Park quickly became popular
05:32he banned anything South Park related
05:34Because we wouldn't stop joking about it
05:37What a legend
05:38I have a running list
05:39They cannot speak about feet
05:41mention anything relating to vapes
05:43and the newest
05:43They must go into the hallway to fart
05:45or else they get an immediate write-up
05:47this one happened because my class of all boys
05:50had a competition for who could crop me dust the most
05:53y'all do not get paid enough
05:55no starting cults where they chose me as supreme leader
05:58It happened two years in a row
06:00middle school honors kids are weird
06:02okay but weren't you just like a little bit flattered
06:04that they chose you though
06:05no
06:06When I was in junior high
06:07They were banned standing in a group of more than three people
06:10I feel like there's interesting details here you're leaving out
06:12I worked with a special needs student
06:14who regularly went to math for inclusion
06:16One time without looking up from the problem he was working on
06:19He reached into his pocket
06:20and pulled out an Eggo mini pancake
06:22it was so out of the blue
06:23I legit wondered if it really happened at the time
06:26later in the day
06:26that student was using the elliptical
06:28we had it in the speed classroom
06:29For students who needed a movement break
06:31and no joke
06:3215 mini pancakes flew out of his pocket
06:35and landed on the ground
06:36turns out he was sneaking them from home
06:38so we had to ban pocket pancakes
06:40I had to ban students from collecting my hair
06:43used to color it bright red
06:45And it was really easy to spot in our carpet
06:47so they would find a strand
06:48and show it off to the rest of the class
06:50It started a few fights
06:51Is this what you had in mind?
06:53when you thought of people fighting over you
06:56playing ninja turtles
06:57It's a game where the kids would each pick a ninja turtle to play
07:00and then just beat the crap out of each other
07:02stickers for rectal use only
07:04we're still slowly finding more of them
07:06three years later
07:08had to stop the shrine slash gravestone
07:11for the rolly-poly that I put outside during recess
07:13I didn't even kill it
07:15I mean you know what
07:16Respect for the dead
07:17empathy for animals
07:18even bugs
07:19I don't see the problem
07:20R.I.P. Jimmy
07:20I had to ban election updates in 2020
07:23I remember we woke up and didn't know who won yet
07:25I had such anxiety
07:27I told my gifted fourth graders
07:28no politics
07:29No updates for my sanity
07:31as they lined up at the door
07:32one sweet kiddo came to me with her chromebook open
07:34and said don't worry, Missy
07:35Biden is winning
07:36to which I replied
07:37sweetie I haven't ever told you who I voted for
07:40nor would I
07:40to which she responded
07:41Oh missy
07:42You're kind and smart
07:43and care about the planet
07:44and the people in it
07:45I know you didn't vote for Trump
07:46The funniest part is
07:47when I shared the story with her mom
07:49she said they were a politically divided household
07:51so they never spoke politics at home
07:53This was 100% all her
07:55not the classroom
07:56but the playground
07:57had to ban shark tag
07:59overenthusiastic
07:59kinder kiddo
08:00bit me on the butt
08:01a little plastic baby
08:03They were everywhere
08:04a CPR mannequin
08:06It even had like 30 in its mouth
08:08subbed the other day
08:09notes read
08:10do not let the student
08:11pretend to be Michael Jackson
08:12Please tell him
08:13He can be Michael at home
08:14and not at school
08:15do you work at my cousin's school?
08:18acting like a dog with rabies
08:19Because they would scratch the walls
08:21and bite each other
08:22kids are so weird
08:23my old math teacher
08:24had to institute
08:25a no jumping out the window rule
08:27what floor was this classroom on?
08:29recently
08:29barking
08:30sang boomba clap
08:31checking and roasting
08:32dead family members
08:34and telling new students
08:35I'm Chinese
08:36I am not
08:37I had to ban a four-year-old
08:39in my pre-k class
08:40from laying on the library center couch
08:42and pretending to give birth
08:43She did it several times a day
08:45How did she even know?
08:47How to do that?
08:48Well Monday I banned ghost peppers
08:50Because that was the snack of choice
08:51at 9:25 a.m.
08:53so
08:54Absolutely insane behavior
08:55when I was in middle school
08:56They held an assembly
08:57only for the boys
08:58It was because they kept
09:00pantsing each other
09:00and it became an issue
09:02from 8th grade
09:03to this very day
09:04I graduated 3 years ago
09:06Sea shanties have been banned
09:07in my favorite
09:08English teacher's classroom
09:09aw man
09:10I love a good sea shanty
09:11I've had to ban the kids
09:13from petting my feet
09:14During carpet time
09:15But I fear this may be
09:16a universal experience
09:17for most teachers
09:18first graders by the way
09:20teachers chime in
09:21is this a universal experience?
09:23the game in Kala
09:24It got too competitive
09:25I've never seen this
09:26I didn't let the kids
09:27Try it again
09:28for a couple of years
09:29those little marbles
09:30can be turned into weapons
09:31real quick
09:32carrots
09:32They were throwing carrots
09:34into the hole in my ceiling
09:35after banning them
09:36They had a funeral
09:38I've had to ban whistling
09:39the kids figured out
09:40How to do this is insane
09:42high-pitched whistling
09:42that sounded like
09:43I was losing air
09:44in my air brakes
09:45so I was pulling over
09:46to make sure
09:47we weren't gonna die
09:48pee a bus driver
09:49they said
09:49It'll be fun
09:50they said
09:51It was a rough year
09:52in this classroom
09:54no daddies
09:54or simping
09:55or adding ussy
09:56to the ends of words
09:58Okay
09:58I love how this
09:59clearly started
10:00as one thing
10:01and you slowly
10:01just had to keep
10:02adding to it
10:04I mean this
10:04with my whole heart
10:05y'all truly
10:06do not get paid enough
10:07oh