Colonel Barkley is proud of his assistant, Sergeant Doubleday, who has a photographic memory. Doubleday shows off his knowledge on firearms during a class given by Sergeant Ames, embarrassing him.
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00:00THE END
00:49Army! Army!
00:51Let's call Salmon at once, and I need it once, not next week!
01:03Oh, Sergeant!
01:04Yes, sir!
01:08Double-A, I've got a great idea.
01:10I want to address the men this morning, so dash me over a little speech, something snappy.
01:13Something like, uh, or like President Lincoln used at Gettysburg, only streamlined it.
01:18I'll do my best, sir. What's the subject?
01:20Oh, a jip between officers and men. You know, we'll get to know them personally. Democracy working, all that sort
01:26of thing.
01:26Right away, sir.
01:37How's this, sir?
01:39Officers and men at Carter, I'm going to try and experiment in this regiment.
01:43We are a great democratic people, and I want to prove to the world that democracy functions in the armed
01:49force country as well.
01:52Very good, very good. Splendid, Sergeant. Splendid!
01:56An army lacking in esprit de corps is in a state of marcessant decrepitude.
02:02What's that last?
02:04Marcessant decrepitude.
02:07Yes, yes, yes. Marcessant decrepitude.
02:10Yes, of course, of course, of course. Carry on, carry on.
02:13The important part Army Morrell has played in previous campaigns is well worthy of your attention.
02:19This all-important subject cannot be lightly dismissed.
02:30And I believe this will stimulate a spirit of camaraderie unknown to any other Army in the world.
02:46There we are, sir.
02:49Oh, that's excellent, Sergeant. That is excellent.
02:52Now, if I can only memorize this before...
03:02Really, man, it was nothing.
03:04Any one of you could have done as well if you'd have been as good a shot as I am.
03:09You'd have been as good as us.
03:12Well, who wants the old autograph?
03:14What are those infernal brackets sounding off about now?
03:17Oh, those are the men that won the pistol match against her.
03:19They won?
03:20I'd get my eye teeth to find someone to out-shoot those two puffed-up windbags.
03:24Why don't you win it?
03:25I wasn't in the match, sir.
03:27No. Oh, no. No, of course.
03:29My speech!
03:30Look!
03:31Put it up!
03:32Do something!
03:33Do something!
03:37Oh, I told you, Ames and Cobb, they're jinxes.
03:41Look at my speech, all burned.
03:45What am I gonna do?
03:47No speech!
03:48Well, don't stand there!
03:49What am I going to do?
03:50It's quite all right, sir.
03:52I'll prompt you.
03:53Prompt me with that?
03:54No, sir, but I remember the speech word for word.
04:00Doubleday, that mind of yours will never cease to be a source of wonderment to me.
04:05If you could only shoot.
04:07Now, remember, while I'm speaking, stay right close to me.
04:11Yes, sir.
04:14Very close.
04:15Yes, sir.
04:17Oh, Dad, I just wanted to make sure you hadn't forgotten we're riding out to the lake today.
04:22I'll never forget anything, my dear.
04:24We'll go just as soon as I finish making my speech.
04:34I said very close.
04:35Yes, sir.
04:41All right, men.
04:43All in.
04:53What's the matter with you, Doubleday?
04:55I'm sorry, sir.
04:57Something got in my eye, sir.
04:58Well, take it out.
05:00At ease!
05:02And now I have a few remarks to make that are of the utmost importance.
05:07Officers and men of Camp Carver.
05:10What is it?
05:11You're going to try an experiment.
05:12Oh, yes, sir.
05:13I am going to try an experiment in this regiment.
05:18We are known as a democratic people.
05:21Look at Teacher's pet.
05:23If he gets any closer to the Colonel, he'll be riding him piggyback.
05:26Yeah.
05:27The boy wonder.
05:29But in our armed forces as well.
05:32We feel that there should be brought about a closer relationship between officers and men.
05:37The important part that army morale has played in previous campaigns is well-worthy your...
05:44Attention.
05:45Well-worthy your what?
05:47Attention!
05:48Attention!
05:49Not so loud.
05:51Sorry, sir.
05:56This all-important subject cannot likely be, uh...
06:00Dismissed.
06:01Be what?
06:03Dismissed!
06:03Dismissed!
06:07What's the matter with you?
06:08What are you yelling about?
06:09Something was biting me, sir.
06:11I'll try and control yourself till I finish my speech.
06:14Now...
06:16Captain, ask me!
06:21What's the meaning of this?
06:21Who dismissed the men?
06:22Well, you did, sir, just now.
06:23I did?
06:25Oh, I did.
06:26Yes, sir.
06:26Shall I reassemble them, sir?
06:27Certainly not.
06:28I dismissed them, didn't I?
06:29If I want them reassembled, I'll say so.
06:31Very good, sir.
06:33In all my 20 years in the army, I've never seen such a bunch of wooden-headed tin soldiers.
06:38But, it's my duty to teach you drafty non-coms the use of the sidearm.
06:44So, we'll start with muzzle velocity and striking energy.
06:48This represents a Regulation Army 45-caliber service pistol.
07:07Even you men will understand this.
07:09You'll keep your eyes on what I'm about to do.
07:20Quiet!
07:26Shut up!
07:28I said shut up!
07:30And stay shut!
07:35I'm sorry, sir.
07:46Just in case you men understand English, I'll explain what these figures mean.
07:54What have I been doing?
07:57Talking to myself?
07:59Hey, you!
08:00Doubleday!
08:03Yes, I mean you, the boy wonder.
08:05Just because you came into this outfit with a lot of book learning about the army.
08:09And that work, they made you a sergeant in the first 24 hours.
08:13That doesn't mean that you can't learn anything from an old campaigner like me who knows what he's talking about.
08:20Have you heard anything I said?
08:23Every word, sergeant.
08:24And if I may say so, you've simply been confusing the men.
08:30Oh, I have, have I?
08:34With the captain's permission, I'd like to show the men what Sergeant Ames is driving at.
08:39Very well, Doubleday.
08:44In the first place, all this is unnecessary.
08:49Your drawing was misleading, sergeant.
08:51Your diagram was the gesture of the trajectory of a bullet rather than the striking energy.
08:56Oh, a wise guy, huh?
08:58Well, before you go any further, sergeant, suppose you demonstrate to the class the correct firing position used in pistol
09:05practice.
09:05According to basic field manual FMV3-35, the details of firing position are as follows.
09:11A. Grasp the stock with the correct grip.
09:14B. Face the target, then face half left.
09:17C. Separate the feet from 12 to 18 inches.
09:21D.
09:23Positively encyclopedic.
09:25He's remarkable, sir.
09:27As soon as the arm becomes tired or the aim becomes unsteady, assume the position of Bray's pistol.
09:33Sit down.
09:34You don't know what you're talking about. You're all wrong.
09:36Just a minute, Ames.
09:38The man's absolutely correct.
09:41Yes, sir.
09:46You may carry on, Captain.
09:48At ease.
09:50The pistol should be removed from the right hand and the muscles of the arm, hand and shoulder relaxed.
09:55Colonel.
09:57Gentlemen, this is Mr. Hutton.
09:59The factory technician at the Jamison Automatic Rifle Works.
10:01He's here to explain the mechanics and working parts of this new type of rifle.
10:10You may probably know the Army is considering this rifle.
10:13But I doubt that any of you know the principle of its operation.
10:16Excuse me, sir, but I know all about it.
10:23I'm afraid you're mistaken, Sergeant. None of these rifles have it as yet.
10:27Well, if I can borrow it a moment, sir, I'm sure I can demonstrate my knowledge of it.
10:31Well, you may try.
10:33Thank you, sir.
10:35The difference between the Jamison rifle and the Browning, Johnson, and Garin, which are automatic types, is in its gas
10:41ejector.
10:41To remove the mainspring, the mainspring cap and the housing pin retainer from the mainspring housing, compress the mainspring and
10:48push out the small mainspring cap pin.
10:50To remove the magazine from the receiver, the left end must be pressed inward.
10:54When the right end of the magazine catch will project so far from the right side of the receiver, it
10:58may be rotated one half turn.
11:00This movement will release the magazine catch lock from its seat and receiver when the magazine catch, the magazine catch
11:07lock, and the magazine catch spring may be removed.
11:11Boy, so was it. Amazing.
11:15In disassembling this piece, the soldier should lay out the parts in such orderly rotation that he will be able
11:20to reassemble the gun under the most adverse conditions, such as under fire or in total darkness.
11:35Well, you must have worked in our factory, Sergeant, before you joined the Army.
11:38No, sir, but I did read an article in a magazine with diagrams of this rifle, and I never forget
11:44a thing I read.
11:47Takes more than reading to make a good soldier.
11:49It seems to help, Ames. You ought to try it sometime.
11:56Yes, sir.
11:58Well, Mr. Hutton, you can carry on from there with the finer points.
12:02There's nothing to say. He's covered everything.
12:05Well, thank you, Sergeant.
12:08That'll be all for today, men.
12:10Dismissed!
12:15Sergeant Ames!
12:16Bring this rifle over to my office. I want to examine it in detail.
12:19Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
12:37Listen, punk. I don't like smart-alecks, savvy. What are you trying to do? Make a fool out of me?
12:43But, Sergeant...
12:43Shut up!
12:44I'll get those stripes off of you if it's the last thing I do.
12:47I was only trying to...
12:48Go on, Scram! Beat it!
12:51I don't know how that little squirt figured this thing out. Let me see. What did he do?
12:57Oh, yeah. He just...
12:59Oh, yeah.
13:01Sure, yeah. That's right.
13:02Here.
13:03Oh, yeah.
13:15Twenty years in this garden.
13:20Hello?
13:21Sergeant Ames! What's holding you up? Where's that rifle?
13:24Well, I'll be right over there, sir. I'm just picking it up, sir. Yes, sir.
13:28Well, get it over here and get it over here, quick!
13:30Yes, sir. Yes, right away, sir.
13:41Listen, punk. I just spent two hundred bucks having the best Swiss gunsmith in the country go over this gun
13:48and nobody gonna handle it but me!
13:49Two hundred bucks. Two hundred.
13:51Why, say, that's only chicken feed compared to what I got sunk in this one.
14:06The gun wizard! Look at him, look at him! He's scared to death! He can't even pull a trigger, much
14:11less hit anything!
14:21A little gun, say, eh? Well, that's quite surprising. With your knowledge of guns, you should be a good marksman.
14:26Well, I've made a study of it, sir, but somehow the gun doesn't act the way it reads in the
14:29instruction book.
14:30Why don't you put the gun down and throw the book at the target?
14:35That'll be enough of that, Ames.
14:37Sorry, sir.
14:38As a cure for flinching, Sergeant, I suggest a few rounds of rapid fire. Now, stick it out there and
14:42start firing.
14:45As a cure for gen centers.
14:47I believe it will rain down and start firing...
14:52What are they supposed to do for you?
14:56Hey!
15:00Hey!
15:00Hey!
15:20Double-day, you better go out in the woods and practice before you kill somebody.
15:23Here.
15:25Yes, sir.
15:32You men better count off.
15:39Hey, level-day.
15:41I guess you found out it takes more than book learning to know how to handle a pistol.
16:07If you ever catch a fish I can fry, we won't have to eat this cold ham.
16:10I can't catch anything with that confounded fish hawk hanging around.
16:14He's got them all hiding under the bank.
17:08Oh, look, it's a fish hawk.
17:10Who fired that shot?
17:12Well, it came from over there, Daddy.
17:20Hey, you!
17:22You!
17:24Yes, sir.
17:25Come here.
17:26Yes, sir.
17:31Double-day, did you shoot this hawk?
17:33I'm afraid so, so sorry.
17:34Sorry?
17:35What for?
17:36It was a perfect shot.
17:37Right through the eye.
17:38Why don't you tell me you can shoot?
17:39What were you holding back for?
17:41Oh, but you see, sir...
17:42No, my boy.
17:43There's no place for false modesty in the army.
17:49Oh, it's my daughter, Betty.
17:50This is Sergeant Double-day.
17:52You should know more young men like him.
17:54How do you do?
17:55Oh, I've heard a lot of nice things about you.
17:58So have I.
17:59I mean, that is, I'm sure.
18:04Have you?
18:05Well, uh, won't you sit down and join us?
18:09I'd like to, if it's all right.
18:11All right?
18:11Well, of course it's all right.
18:12Only this morning, I was speaking about...
18:15I made a speech on democracy.
18:17Hey, uh, uh...
18:18Oh, uh, oh, but you know about that.
18:20Yes, of course.
18:20Sit down, my boy.
18:21Sit down.
18:22Sit down.
18:22Well, that's a wonderful idea, Daddy.
18:24To bring the officers and men closer to each other.
18:26Of course it's a wonderful idea.
18:28I thought of it, didn't I?
18:28Well, I'm sure I'd like it.
18:31Uh, as a matter of fact,
18:32we might invite the sergeant over for dinner sometime.
18:34Why not?
18:35Make a note of that, Double-day.
18:36Remind me to invite you.
18:38Oh, send him an invitation.
18:41I will.
18:48Oh, Daddy!
18:53Daddy, you girl on the lawn!
18:56Get this thing off my foot!
18:59One hook, it's with my spur!
19:02You know, there it goes again.
19:06Don't shove, young man!
19:07Yes, I never saw so many people in my life.
19:10Look out of the way, Daddy.
19:11Daddy, where's the net?
19:12It's on the side of the horse.
19:13Horse.
19:13Here he comes, here he comes.
19:15Gee, he's a beaut, Dad.
19:21Oh, oh, he's loose.
19:24Look, he's flopping back into the lake.
19:48My boy, you saved the day.
19:50The greatest exhibition of shooting on record.
19:53Right through the eye.
19:54How did you do it?
19:56Gosh, it was wonderful.
19:57How did he do it?
19:59Why, he drew on the dead run,
20:00fired from the hip without even taking aim,
20:02and caught the fish right through the eye like he did the fish hawk.
20:06My boy, you're the best shot in the regiment.
20:16As a matter of fact,
20:18you're the best shot in the army.
20:25You stand for a certain word with you two men
20:27about the national pursuit coming up.
20:29Suppose you're both a little nervous about it?
20:31Well, after all, sir,
20:32we are the best shots in the regiment.
20:35We're the best shots in the army, sir.
20:37At least, uh, I am.
20:38Well, uh, this is, uh, sort of, uh,
20:41off the record.
20:41Oh, stand at ease, man.
20:42Stand at ease.
20:43Uh, forgetting for the moment
20:44that I'm your commanding officer,
20:47would you, uh, like to bet, say, uh,
20:49a month's pay on that?
20:51Oh, that's for me.
20:53Me too.
20:54That's fine, then.
20:55We'll settle it this afternoon.
20:56Uh, pardon me, sir,
20:57but might I inquire just who is, uh, your man?
21:00Yeah.
21:00A soldier?
21:01Naturally, he's a soldier.
21:03And a good one.
21:04Sergeant Doubleday.
21:07Doubleday.
21:08Doubleday?
21:09Doubleday?
21:15Doubleday?
21:15You men will find that I know a pistol shot
21:18when I see one.
21:20Smith.
21:31Hey, hey, wait a minute.
21:33Hey, do you suppose, uh,
21:35the colonel knows something?
21:36No.
21:37Well, uh,
21:38that Doubleday,
21:39he, he does everything so good,
21:41maybe he's playing possum on us
21:44with this shooting business.
21:49I wonder.
21:52You sent for me, sir?
21:54Yeah, Sergeant.
21:55Ha, ha.
21:56Won't you do me a little favor?
21:57It'll be an easy assignment for you, my boy.
22:00Oh, I'll be glad to oblige, sir.
22:03Send it easy, man.
22:04Hey, I want you to give these two men
22:05a lesson in the fine art of pistol shooting.
22:07All right, sir.
22:09Who, me?
22:10Yes.
22:11I made a little wager
22:12regarding the best shot in the right.
22:14You settle it for us now.
22:16But, sir, I...
22:17No, no, no, no, my boy,
22:18you've been holding back long enough.
22:21See?
22:22What'd that tell you?
22:23Three shots apiece.
22:24Best two out of three wins.
22:27Go ahead, Sergeant Ames.
22:28Yes, sir.
22:29Michael, I'm 19.
22:43Eight-five at three o'clock.
22:47An eight at nine o'clock.
22:55A bullseye at six o'clock.
22:58Well, Sergeant Ames,
22:59that eliminates you.
23:02All right, Sergeant Doubleday.
23:03Make it as painless as possible.
23:06Are you sure you want me
23:07to go through with this, sir?
23:08Listen, Sergeant,
23:09I'm getting a little fed up
23:10with this modesty of yours.
23:12Now get in there and shoot.
23:34I'm sorry, sir.
23:40Just a minute, Sergeant.
23:42Uh, you wouldn't like
23:44to increase those bets, would you?
23:47I bet that's a come on.
23:49Well, uh, no, sir.
23:51I think we'd better let the bets stand.
23:54All right, Sergeant.
23:56Now show them by putting
23:57the next two right in the bullseye.
24:11Well, mark it.
24:12It's a washout, sir.
24:16Never mind, Doubleday.
24:19What happened?
24:20You didn't even hit the target.
24:21I've been trying to tell you, sir.
24:23But the hawk and the fish,
24:25I saw them with my own eyes.
24:26But I didn't mean to hit them.
24:27They were both accidents.
24:29Accidents?
24:30Doubleday, you've let me down.
24:32I've a great mind to demote you.
24:34You'll get my checks on payday.
24:37Well?
24:43So, Sergeant.
24:45You, uh,
24:46found out there's a lot of difference
24:48between shooting off a gun
24:50and shooting off your mouth.
24:53I got a gun here that
24:55can't miss.
24:57You take this
24:59and show them that you can really shoot.
25:02Thanks.
25:05Detail halt!
25:07Left face!
25:09Sergeant,
25:10instruct these men in the use of the eye-down.
25:11Yes, sir.
25:13Carry on.
25:17Doubleday,
25:18your gun.
25:20Somebody handled it
25:21that knows how.
25:23At ease, men.
25:24You've all had preliminary instruction.
25:27As you men know,
25:28I'm the best shot in the regiment.
25:30So I'll give you the benefit
25:32of my years of experience.
25:35Watch 18.
25:37Doubleday.
25:38Keep your eye on this.
25:40It's just possible
25:41that you might learn
25:42how to shoot a pistol.
26:07Would you mind delivering this
26:08to Sergeant Doubleday
26:09of headquarters company?
26:10Not at home, ma'am.
26:13Not at all.
26:26What's this?
26:28To the best shot in the Army.
26:30Well, I guess that's me, all right.
26:34Let's see what this says now.
26:39Miss Betty Barkley
26:41request the pleasure of opening at dinner.
26:43Colonel Barkley's quarters,
26:45seven to nine.
26:46Oh, boy!
26:47She wants me to...
26:48Seven o'clock.
26:50Uh-oh.
26:51The best shot in the Army.
26:59I'd like to catch the guy
27:01that's reading my mail.
27:03Miss...
27:05Miss Betty Barkley.
27:08Miss Betty Barkley.
27:12Gee, I'm going to have dinner
27:14with Miss Barkley tonight.
27:32Uh, Sergeant Cobb.
27:34I-I got your letter, all right.
27:45Oh, I-I have brought this for you.
27:49Well, um, won't you sit down?
27:59Uh, marshmallows.
28:06Excuse me.
28:13Sergeant Ames.
28:15Hiya, beautiful.
28:23Roses is red.
28:24Violets is blue.
28:27Well, here they are.
28:31It was awfully nice of you
28:32to pick me out of the whole regiment
28:34to have over to dinner.
28:37Oh, yes.
28:38Well, please sit down.
28:39Thanks.
28:41Roses is red.
28:43Violets is blue.
28:45You big sissy.
28:48What's he doing here?
28:50I got a written invite.
28:52So did I.
28:53So.
28:56You're the bottleneck
28:57that's been reading my mail.
28:59Your mail?
29:00Yes, my mail.
29:00Why, you listen to me.
29:01I'm here and I...
29:02Please, please.
29:03I-I'm sure you're both welcome.
29:06Won't you sit down?
29:09Won't you sit down?
29:11Sorry.
29:11I'm sorry.
29:23Yes, sir.
29:23I'm sorry.
29:24I'll be if I'm at the front.
29:25I'll be'n.
29:26Just go out.
29:27I'm sorry.
29:34I'm sorry.
29:35I'm sorry.
29:36I don't know.
29:37I don't know.
29:38I'm sorry.
29:39I don't know.
29:45Bullseye, 100 yards.
29:47Isn't one of those guns liable to go off?
29:50Oh, no, they're not alone.
29:53Well, before I lose my life, let's just put them in a nice, safe place until dinner's over.
29:58Oh, now, must please.
29:59Be careful with them.
30:18Good evening, Miss Barkley.
30:19Why, Sergeant Doubleday, won't you come in?
30:23Take your hat.
30:24I was afraid you weren't coming.
30:26Your invitation said 7 o'clock, and I'm a little late.
30:30I thought you didn't get it.
30:31Oh, I couldn't miss it. Someone left it right on the table.
30:34That invite must have been meant for him.
30:36But we're here now, and we're going to stay here.
30:38Oh, how lovely.
30:42Oh, my favorite chocolate.
30:48Oh, and my favorite flowers.
30:51How did you know?
30:52Oh, I guess I just sort of guessed it.
30:57Come in.
31:00Oh, Sergeant Ames and Sergeant Cobb, you must know Sergeant Doubleday.
31:04After all, he's the best shot in the regiment.
31:07Oh, yeah?
31:08He's what?
31:10Oh, of course, I understand.
31:11You boys are pretty good, too.
31:14Two?
31:15Thanks.
31:16Well, maybe somebody would like a piece of candy.
31:18Would you do the honors?
31:19I'll arrange these.
31:21Of course, I'd be delighted.
31:22Won't you sit here, Sergeant?
31:24Oh, if you don't mind, I think I'll sit over again.
31:26Sit here.
31:26There.
31:40Have one?
31:41Yeah.
31:50Curious.
31:51Divine.
31:52I brought these chocolates for Miss Barkley.
31:56You boys certainly are enjoying that candy.
31:59It's very good.
32:01You know, Miss Barkley, every time I eat candy, I always get a little thirsty.
32:07Can I have a glass of water, please?
32:08Certainly.
32:17What are you doing?
32:18You can't do this to me!
32:31I hope this is cold enough.
32:33Hang on.
32:34Where's Sergeant Doubleday?
32:36He had to leave very suddenly.
32:38That's odd.
32:42Excuse me.
32:47Why, Sergeant, back already?
32:49Yes, I just went outside to see if my dog was all right.
33:01You know, Sergeant, you're right about that candy making you thirsty.
33:07I wonder if I could have a glass of water, too, please.
33:10Why, of course.
33:11I'll get it for him.
33:12I'm the hostess.
33:14You boys just sit down and make yourselves comfortable.
33:16But you don't understand.
33:25Not again.
33:27Have a heart.
33:27I'm a guest here.
33:29You'll be sorry.
33:48I'm the hostess.
33:49Let's go.
33:50Let's go.
33:50I want a glass of water.
33:56Like you.
33:58I can't eat them.
34:00Oh, uh, we'll answer that.
34:03While you get me another glass of water,
34:05it's, uh, it's that candy you get.
34:20What's this?
34:22Take your hands off me, you numbskulls!
34:25What does this mean?
34:27Dump me!
34:34What is the meat?
34:37What's that rage?
34:38But, sir, we thought you were, uh, a prowler.
34:41Prowler?
34:42I'll have you broken for this.
34:45I'll have you put in a guardhouse.
34:47What are you doing here, anyway?
34:49Daddy, Daddy, they're our guests.
34:51Guests?
34:53They nearly killed me.
34:55They're there, a couple of guests.
34:56Yes!
34:57You remember your speech, your, your new idea of officers and men getting closer together.
35:02Uh, uh, what?
35:04Uh, oh, yes, yes.
35:09Sit down!
35:14I'll get cleaned up a bit.
35:16Now, Chief, you sit there.
35:17And don't move unless I whistle.
35:24Psst!
35:28We may hang for this, but it'll be worth it.
35:34Why?
35:34Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
35:36Before you boys do anything rash...
35:44Our pistols!
35:46Why?
35:47Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
35:48No violence, please.
35:50You boys are in the national pistol shoot tomorrow, aren't you?
35:53Yeah.
35:55Well, that well is 50 feet deep.
35:57All I have to do is whistle.
36:00Well, you boys know what happens when I whistle.
36:02Jeep always comes to me.
36:03And if he does...
36:05Kerplunk!
36:06Shall I demonstrate?
36:07Oh, no, no, no, pal.
36:09No, no.
36:11May I come in now, gentlemen?
36:13Oh, certainly.
36:14Of course, Sergeant.
36:15Will you gentlemen assist me?
36:17Yeah.
36:17Of course, gladly.
36:18I don't...
36:19Welcome.
36:21What's all the shouting about?
36:23Why, uh, we were just saying hello to our old pal, Sergeant Doubleday, sir.
36:31Doubleday!
36:33How dare you show your face here after what happened today!
36:36But Colonel Bartley, your daughter...
36:38Keep my daughter out of it!
36:40But, sir, she...
36:41Don't argue with me!
36:42It's her names!
36:43Put him out!
36:43A pleasure, sir!
36:44Just a minute, Sergeant.
36:46I don't think you want to put me out, do you?
36:53Did you hear what I said?
36:54Put him out!
36:55Sorry, sir.
36:57But I just can't seem to do it.
36:59Can't seem to do it?
37:00What kind of idiotic talk is that?
37:02Sergeant Cobb!
37:03Yes, sir.
37:03You put him out!
37:04Yes, sir!
37:14I can't do it, neither.
37:16What?
37:17Two big bruises like you can't put out this little pipsqueak?
37:20Oh, it's not that, sir, but you see, well...
37:25He's got some sort of a mysterious power over us.
37:31Mysterious power?
37:32What kind of nonsense is that?
37:36Mysterious power?
37:38Double A, come here!
37:41Look, Double A, I know you've got a remarkable mind.
37:44I know you remember everything you read.
37:47You seem to know everything about the army.
37:49You seem to know everything about everything.
37:51But when you tell me of some mysterious power you have,
37:54that's carrying things a little too far.
37:57Are you three trying to put over something of me?
38:00No, sir.
38:00You see, I'm merely applying the principles of...
38:05Dr. Thorndyke's book, How to Subject Others to Your Will.
38:08You mean to tell me that just because you read a book,
38:10you can make these two do anything you want?
38:12Oh, yes, sir.
38:13It's surprising what you can do with your will when you know how.
38:16Oh, is it?
38:17Suppose you give me a demonstration.
38:19I should like to see you make them do something.
38:21Certainly, sir.
38:26How are you men on Mother Goose?
38:27Mother Goose?
38:28Yes, let's have...
38:30patty cake, patty cake, baker's man.
38:32With gestures, you know.
38:33Now, just a minute, Doubleday.
38:38Oh, well.
38:40If you insist.
38:53Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
38:55With words.
38:57With words.
38:59Words.
39:05Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man.
39:09Bake me a cake as fast as you can.
39:13Roll it, pat it, mark it with a T.
39:17And put it in the oven for baby and me.
39:24Aren't you boys a little old for patty caking?
39:29Uh, suppose you try it on me.
39:32You, sir?
39:33Yes, go ahead, try it on me.
39:34You see, it's, um, easy matter for me to control such simple minds as Sergeant Ames and Hobb.
39:41But I'm sure I couldn't impose my will on your own, sir.
39:46Yes, yes, yes, yes.
39:50Well, if they ain't, I'll eat their share, too.
39:56Oh, uh, Doubleday, Doubleday, Doubleday.
39:58I've underestimated you, my boy.
40:06My, what a beautiful bird.
40:08Ha, ha.
40:12Too bad you men had your dinner before you came.
40:16What?
40:17Oh, oh, yes.
40:20You see, we didn't expect to be invited to dinner, too.
40:24Oh, but surely you can eat just a little bit.
40:27Oh, I'm afraid they couldn't eat a thing after the big meal they had, could you, boy?
40:30Oh, now, look here, I...
40:34No, I...
40:35I couldn't eat nothing.
40:37Not a bite.
40:38Well, I'm sure you must have room for an olive.
40:44Well.
41:01Wonderful dinner.
41:02Wonderful.
41:03Too bad you boys weren't hungry.
41:05Hmm.
41:19Well, what do you say if we top off dinner with a little close harmony?
41:22We've got a quartet.
41:23Betty, play my favorite, the old open bucket.
41:25Sure, Daddy.
41:27Now, let's see, uh, son Doubleday, you, uh, you take the lead.
41:31Son Cobb, uh, you sing baritone, I'll sing bass,
41:34and, Sergeant Ames, you sing top tenor.
41:36Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I can't sing top tenor.
41:39Oh, yes, you can.
41:41He'll sing top tenor tonight, sir.
41:43Way up high.
41:46Very good, sir, huh?
41:47Sing top tenor.
41:49Way up high.
41:50Good.
41:51Good.
41:51Good, Sergeant.
41:52That willpower book's terrific.
41:54All set.
41:59The old open bucket, the iron pounded,
42:10the most-covered bucket that hangs in the well.
42:20How dear to my heart
42:26Are the scenes of my childhood
42:31When fun records
42:36They named Ben Junior
42:42In the orchard, the meadow
42:50The deep tangled wild wood
42:54At every spot
42:58That my head
43:01The senior
43:08What's the matter with Sergeant Ames, Sergeant Cobb?
43:11They must have been late for guard duty, sir.
43:13Huh?
43:13Oh, oh, yes, yes.
43:15They might at least have said goodnight
43:17before dashing out like that.
43:18Now, Betty, my dear, you don't understand.
43:20With a soldier, it's duty first always.
43:22Isn't that so, Sergeant Doubleday?
43:24Yes, sir.
43:25Yes, of course.
43:26Well, all good things must come to an end, I always say.
43:30That bugle blows awfully early in the morning.
43:33Colonel Barkley, it just occurred to me
43:36Wouldn't it be a grand idea
43:38To follow up your speech on democracy
43:40For you to be the first officer
43:42To spend the night in the enlisted men's quarters?
43:44You probably haven't slept in a barracks in years.
43:47How about tonight?
43:48Why, that's a marvelous idea, Daddy.
43:50You know, Doubleday,
43:52I must have put that thought in your mind.
43:54I was just about to remark it.
43:56I don't know where I get these wonderful ideas.
44:16Well, Sergeant, if I take your bed, where will you sleep?
44:19It's all arranged, sir.
44:20Corporal Gilpin's on leave, and I'll sleep in his bed.
44:23Oh, I see.
44:24Yes.
44:26Good night, sir.
44:27Good night, Sergeant.
44:27Good night, Sergeant.
45:01What's the joke?
45:02Joke? We just threw Doubleday out the window.
45:11Oh, it's you, eh?
45:13From now on, you're private aims and probs.
45:22Oh, it's you, eh?