- 14 minutes ago
Coronation Street 23rd September 2026
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:01MUSIC
00:25Hey, you look dead smart today, are you, Chrissa?
00:28Yeah. Don't she look smart now?
00:30Like the Mona Lisa in a power suit, Artina.
00:33Well, it's not every day you begin a new position
00:36at Weatherfield's most prestigious funeral directors.
00:38I thought she was working at Shuttleworth.
00:42Are you wearing your lucky pants, Titi?
00:45You what, love?
00:46Whenever I start a new job, I put on my tango briefs,
00:50and the front says feeling, and the back says lucky.
00:54Did you just call me Titi?
00:56Yes. New job, new nickname.
01:01What time did you start?
01:02Well, they're a bit worn now, the pants.
01:04Er, no.
01:05So it actually says licky.
01:07I'm feeling a bit giddy.
01:08I bet you're learning loads working with you, George.
01:11Yeah, that is the creme de la creme.
01:13Oh, I have got that written on my second pair of pants.
01:16There you are.
01:19Come and have a bit of brekkie. What do you fancy?
01:20What do I fancy?
01:22I fancy you getting your backside over the other side of that road sharpish.
01:27You're half an hour late. I'm counting.
01:29Am I?
01:30Oh, go back. Right. Okay, sorry.
01:33Come in.
01:34Go on, shoulders. Come on, Sherry.
01:36Great start.
01:37Come in, come in, come in.
01:39Have a great day, teats.
01:43Bye.
01:54Why haven't you got your school uniform on?
01:56Well, she's not going in, is she?
01:58What, again?
01:59Well, we're going to Shuttleworth's.
02:01Sorry?
02:02No need to apologise.
02:03I said she could choose a plaque for her mum.
02:05What, today?
02:07Yeah, it's like a day after school.
02:10I saw Joanie earlier on.
02:12She said I walked into a door.
02:15And what did she say?
02:17She said my mum used to do that a lot.
02:21Here we are.
02:22Cheers.
02:23Oh, shit.
02:23Right.
02:27A protein bar and an energy drink?
02:29Yup.
02:30What, you got these for me especially?
02:32Yup.
02:33To make you feel better than that.
02:36Nice one, mate.
02:39Can't stop thinking about it all since...
02:42Since I found out and...
02:44Don't go worrying about me, Brody.
02:46Can't help it, can't I?
02:48I don't want you being scared.
02:51I'm not.
02:52You sure?
02:54I mean...
02:55I don't want to lose you.
02:57And I've hardly got to know you, but...
02:59I don't plan on going anywhere soon.
03:02Yeah.
03:06You know...
03:07If I've passed this G mutation thing on to you, I'm...
03:12I'm really sorry, mate.
03:15Yeah, but it wouldn't be your fault though, would it?
03:17At least I know the risks now.
03:19And when I make tin, I'll just get myself tested.
03:23You're going to have that?
03:25No.
03:26Main thing is, you're going to be okay, yeah?
03:29Mm.
03:46Careful.
03:47If the wind changes, your face will stay like that.
03:49Oi!
03:49Hey!
03:50Don't go around being rude to folk.
03:51No, it's all right.
03:52It's just a little bit advanced, isn't it, Lucy, lovey?
03:54I am...
03:55I get on very well with kids.
03:58You said I was a kid?
03:59I did.
04:01Mm, you see.
04:02The wind changes now.
04:04How's your grid going to get stuck?
04:06Yes.
04:06If you don't like it, lovey, don't dish it out.
04:08You've got an attitude problem.
04:09Uh, Lucy.
04:10Everything okay out here?
04:12You're a doc-hoo agent.
04:14What's it got to do with you?
04:15Tim.
04:17Lucy.
04:18Please.
04:19Come within.
04:22Gustavus.
04:24Mr Bip.
04:32Anne, I mean...
04:34What does Maggie think she's playing at?
04:36You know, I'm not a number one fan.
04:38Social media's really important to little big shots.
04:41It's how half the parents contact me, you know.
04:43She's got it shut down.
04:45I'm so sorry, darling.
04:48Look, I know she overreacted, but I really think it's just because of what's happened with our will.
04:52I'd drag her in here now and give her what for, but she's on a trip to Ireland with him.
04:56Yeah.
04:56Okay.
04:57No, just, er, put it all in an email.
05:00Brilliant.
05:03You'll never guess who that was.
05:05Hi, Glenda.
05:05Who?
05:06My-law.
05:06Only a lady from London called Nina Minty.
05:09Nina Minty?
05:10The cat's tindara?
05:11Ah, apparently so.
05:13Oh.
05:14Oh, she's very big cheese in musical theatre circles.
05:18And she cast Morrissey, the musical Big Mouth Strikes Again.
05:22Well, she's only gone and got our Susie an audition.
05:24What?
05:24Are you joking?
05:25She saw her on the socials and...
05:26What's the audition for?
05:27Well, she said it'll be a bit of a cattle call, but some new musical called Pippi, about Pippi Longstocking.
05:32Pippi?
05:33Oh, right.
05:34Well, is it Pippi with an exclamation mark?
05:36Pippi?
05:37Well, it will be, won't it?
05:39It's musical theatre.
05:40Well, I don't know.
05:40Oh, I like it.
05:42Pippi.
05:43Oh, it will look great on the merch.
05:45When's the audition?
05:46Tomorrow.
05:47Tomorrow?
05:47In Covent Garden.
05:49Covent Garden in London?
05:50Well, it's not Covent Garden Darlington.
05:52And wait for it.
05:53They're paying expenses for her on a chaperone.
05:56Shut the front door.
05:59You don't sit down at the socials now, are you?
06:06Don't be places.
06:09Oh, stick that kettle on, Ronnie.
06:11Okay.
06:12I'm drier than a desert welly.
06:13All right.
06:14Tea or coffee?
06:15Tea.
06:16Two bags.
06:18Oh!
06:19Ronnie.
06:21Who's this?
06:22I'm with Carl.
06:23Sorry.
06:24Sorry, sorry.
06:25This is, er...
06:26This is, er...
06:28Kylie.
06:28Yeah.
06:29Well, I didn't realise that you were having...
06:33...friends round.
06:34Yeah.
06:35Kylie was just going.
06:36Oh.
06:37Kylie?
06:38I was in thinking.
06:40Padam, padam.
06:41Different Kylie.
06:43Are you mental?
06:44Er, look.
06:45No offence.
06:46I'll get out.
06:47Carl.
06:48Yep, yes.
06:49Excuse me, sir.
06:50Ahem.
07:01Call me.
07:02Yeah?
07:02Yeah.
07:03Yeah.
07:03Sure.
07:06Er...
07:06Sorry about that.
07:08I thought you guys were out for the day.
07:10Put some clothes on.
07:12I'll go the other way.
07:14Okay.
07:15Okay, going the other way.
07:30Who are you avoiding?
07:32Oh, the artist formerly known as the Mayor of Weatherfield.
07:35Oh.
07:36What's today's reason?
07:37Take a wild guess.
07:40Is it one word, four letters?
07:44Lucy.
07:45180.
07:46Oh.
07:47What's happened now?
07:48Oh, nothing.
07:50Sally doesn't think it's a brilliant idea Lucy living with us.
07:53Can you believe that cheeky mare?
07:55Oh, I can believe it, yeah.
07:57I mean, I'd probably think the same.
07:58Leave it out, McDonald.
08:00I'm doing my best here.
08:02Lucy's got what we call in the fostering circles as...
08:05complex needs.
08:07Well, what about Sally's needs?
08:09You know, her need for a quiet, happy family life.
08:13You know?
08:14I mean, you can't blame her for looking out for her family.
08:18You know what I'm saying, Brad?
08:22So, see this invoice here?
08:24Yeah.
08:24If you were to put that into that boulder...
08:27Go on.
08:27Right.
08:28Hello?
08:30That.
08:31Yeah, that's it.
08:32Lovely stuff.
08:34Great.
08:34Blankens at the time.
08:35We haven't even stopped for lunch.
08:48Sorry, um...
08:49Sorry, can I...
08:52Who...
08:52Who is this...
08:54Rachel Parkinson, Mum?
08:56Oh, it's Lucy's, Mum.
08:57No, the kid that's staying with Tim and Sally.
09:00What?
09:00That's her death certificate here?
09:02Yep.
09:02Correct.
09:08You all right, Chrissie?
09:10Yeah, I'm fine.
09:11I'm just, um...
09:13Yeah, sorry.
09:13No, I'm just...
09:15I'm just...
09:15I'm just a bit of a hot flush.
09:16I'm just...
09:18Yeah, sorry.
09:19I'm just...
09:20You okay?
09:22Yeah.
09:22Hi.
09:22I'm just...
09:25I'm just...
09:46Another, please, Glend.
09:47You sure about that?
09:49If I have to barter for it, I shall go to Dev's and I shall buy a bottle and a
09:53straw.
09:54All right.
09:55It's just...
09:56Why aren't you at work?
09:58Oh, so pretty.
09:59Thanks.
09:59Can we have a little bit less of this?
10:01A little bit more of that?
10:03He hasn't fired you, has he?
10:05All right, Jonathan Ross.
10:07Can we have less of the questions?
10:09Well, how did it go, then?
10:10Very well, actually.
10:12Yes.
10:12Very well.
10:13In fact, we're celebrating.
10:14Yes.
10:15Superb day all round.
10:16Mmm.
10:18You haven't...
10:19You haven't been spending again, have you?
10:21Oh, what, you think this is a relapse?
10:23Me buying a glass of cheap Blanc off you.
10:25It's just that you've been in there for a few hours.
10:27Oh, I'm sorry.
10:28I didn't realize you were a clocking off card in human form.
10:31Oh, why don't I give our George a call?
10:33To quote Barbara Streisand.
10:34Yeah, I think I do many a time enough.
10:36Don't rain on my parade.
10:41Yeah, Pippi.
10:43It's the new Pippi Longstocking musical.
10:45Oh, right.
10:46Right, big deal.
10:48Are you familiar with the Pippi Longstocking canon?
10:50She had a canon?
10:51Of books.
10:52Sorry?
10:53Well, when I was studying my Level 4 counselling,
10:56I actually read a paper on Pippi Longstocking.
10:58Yeah, baby, you want to listen to this?
11:00Yeah, about how she displays some ADHD traits
11:02and a hint of oppositional defiant disorder.
11:05Oh, is nobody safe?
11:06Well, we've just been asked to prepare a song, haven't we?
11:09Ben, will you get the stage?
11:11Yes.
11:12Right, so...
11:15It's called Playground Blues.
11:17Susie's going to perform it for you.
11:18So everybody stay nice and quiet.
11:21Ben, will you record this for Alianne?
11:23She'll be gutted.
11:24She was visiting your mum and friends.
11:26I know where I'd drive a bit.
11:27Yes.
11:28Here.
11:29All right, darling.
11:30All right, darling.
11:33And...
11:34Action.
11:35That's what you're saying, Shelby.
11:36Shh.
11:37All I want to do is play hopscotch.
11:39All I want to do is chew gum.
11:42But every time I try to be friendly,
11:45you just hit me right in my...
11:46What do you know about Pippi, Susan?
11:48Tell you she's not finished.
11:51I'll send it anywhere.
11:52Ruined.
11:53Well, she has long flats sticking out the side of her head.
11:56And a funny sock.
11:58Right.
11:58It's a reputable agency.
11:59There's a lot of social media creeps out there.
12:02Yeah, it's Oliver Ford.
12:03You trust them?
12:04Looking at videos of young girls all day,
12:06there's names for people like that.
12:07Yeah.
12:08It's Nina Minty.
12:09Nina Minty.
12:10Is that meant to mean something?
12:11Well, she's a casting director.
12:12She casts all the big musicals.
12:13She's amazing.
12:14Oh, you want to see her socials?
12:16Hilarious.
12:17She calls Hannah Waddingham, my baby girl.
12:20What, so she infantilises grown women?
12:24Well, Glenda knew exactly who she was.
12:26I know who the charm catcher is,
12:27but I'm not hanging out with him, am I?
12:28Oh, come on.
12:29She's auditioning for a kid's musical.
12:31I'm not about to sacrifice her at an altar.
12:34You enjoying looking at your phone there, Sam?
12:36Sam, will you get off your phone?
12:39At least we manage Susie's social media presence.
12:42Sam.
12:43You didn't even notice I was on it till he said it.
12:45Just get off your phone, will you?
12:46Will you just leave me alone?
12:59What's this?
13:01My grief journal.
13:03I've written a new bit about you.
13:08I shouldn't have lost my temper yesterday and I'm sorry.
13:12I just miss her and you remind me of her, so I wouldn't want to hurt you.
13:21Can I have a hug?
13:25How do?
13:27I think my bath should be run by now.
13:28Oh, you need to go and turn it off.
13:35What, did I just walk out?
13:37I don't know.
13:37She's been journaling.
13:39Clearly got a lot of complex issues.
13:42I know that you don't really want her to be here.
13:44No, it's not that, Tim.
13:45It's not that at all.
13:47I mean, I feel for her.
13:48I don't want to see her on the streets.
13:49She won't be on the streets.
13:50Well, you know what I mean.
13:54Anyway, I should give her another chance.
13:56A reminder of her mum, apparently.
13:59Right.
14:00Not sure how true that is.
14:03Well, we could help her.
14:05If we were a team.
14:08Yeah.
14:10Yeah, let's see.
14:11Maybe we can.
14:20Do you always like teenage boys drink on the loan in pub?
14:23Quick.
14:24Call the woke police.
14:26He's on the coke and he's Eva's nephew, so...
14:28Fine, Brenda, just ignore him.
14:35Thanks for shutting me open there.
14:37Nick.
14:38What?
14:38I thought I'd at least get an apology.
14:40For what?
14:41Me being on my phone?
14:44Every teenager spends an inordinate amount of time on the phone.
14:47Very good use of a word, is that one?
14:48I don't know good use of the word.
14:50It could affect his condition.
14:52Do you really have to deal with euphemisms?
14:53Another good use of a word?
14:55Not for you.
14:56What?
14:56Well, don't defend him just because he's using a few syllables.
14:59Oh, shush.
15:00You can say it.
15:03Schizophrenia.
15:05And I don't think me spending time on my phone is going to cause some kind of meltdown.
15:11Maybe in you.
15:13But not me.
15:17Ronnie, I'm really sorry about earlier. I wasn't expecting you back so soon.
15:21And the award for staying the obvious goes to...
15:24Well, what happened early?
15:26He, er, caught me in flagrante.
15:29Oh, I didn't know you'd taken up foreign languages.
15:32Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can laugh, pal, but it's not fear on Debbie.
15:37They have random strangers popping up into her place.
15:40Eh?
15:42It's not on.
15:44Yeah, no.
15:45And it cannot happen again.
15:49Actually, you should start thinking about getting your own gaff.
15:51Well, I'm enjoying it as much as you are, pal, but until I can save some pennies, I'm afraid you're
15:56stuck with me.
15:57Wait, well, listen, it's the first day of street cars tomorrow, so you could maybe save up from now?
16:04Ooh! Ooh, there's gold in them there, oohs, eh?
16:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
16:15Hey, Linda, get, get your thingy out. Huh?
16:19You know, your karaoke machine.
16:21Wait till you hear my simmer.
16:23I don't want to scare the horses.
16:27You're my world to have man to have, hinted!
16:31Not tonight, Christina!
16:33You know what? Not tonight, Josephine.
16:36Who said that? Harry Belafonte?
16:37Oh, Napoleon Bonaparte. We did him at school.
16:41What, behind the bike sets? Ooh, you mucky little bear.
16:44I was a very good girl at school. I used to wear ankle socks until I was 21.
16:48I can't believe that you believe anything.
16:50Why don't you go home and sober up, eh, love?
16:53She's a sponge sponge. She's a sponge sponge.
16:56She swans around like a no-frill Jane MacDonald.
17:00You're the one that wants to belt one out, love, not me.
17:02How do you believe it? I'm a belter.
17:06Belter.
17:07Oh, you and me both, T.T.
17:09You know, even when I do a lullaby, I don't know what it is.
17:11I've just got this big Broadway voice.
17:13You remember?
17:16It's nine o'clock.
17:20Will you take her home, George? She's off a chunk.
17:24I thought this would...
17:25Excuse me, I thought this was a pub.
17:27This is just a pub where we could all relax and let our hair down.
17:30I don't mind, obviously.
17:32Oh, no.
17:33Great birthday this turned out to me, eh?
17:36Let's get you home.
17:37No, please, sir.
17:38One second.
17:38You don't...
17:41It's not easy.
17:42Come on.
17:43Let me get your bag.
17:44I'm sorry.
17:45I've just finished.
17:46Let me just finish my chicken.
17:47Get back down.
17:48Come on.
17:48We're going.
17:49We're going home, Matt.
17:50Chrissie.
17:52Good evening.
17:52Come on, let's go home.
17:54Come on.
17:55See you later.
17:57What is with her today?
17:59Oh, she's excitable.
18:01I mean, it's good she doesn't feel the need to mask.
18:04I'll have a pint, please, when you're ready.
18:05Well, I was born ready.
18:06I'm well annoyed with our kit, you know.
18:09Bye.
18:11It's not his fault, you know.
18:12Well, he could have told us sooner.
18:14I've got five kids to think about me.
18:16What's he got?
18:17Nothing.
18:18What do you think he is?
18:19Chopped liver?
18:20Maybe I'll change my name.
18:21Oh.
18:22I didn't know he was here.
18:23I'm sorry.
18:24Yeah, clearly.
18:25It's not Kit's fault.
18:26He's going through a lot.
18:27Well, Dr Gaddis is sending me for tests.
18:31That's my news.
18:33I may as well get measured up from a coffin now.
18:35Gemma.
18:35You've changed your tune.
18:37Yesterday, you were practically shrugging it off.
18:39Yeah, well, it's a woman's right to catastrophize.
18:42Having this gene doesn't mean you're going to die, Gemma.
18:45It's not making it about yourself.
18:55I really wish you'd let me do that.
18:58I'm doing it.
18:59Well, you're not, are you?
19:00Look, give it here.
19:01Stop.
19:02Let go.
19:02Oh, I can see what you are.
19:06You're one of them.
19:07One of them flippin' key grabbers.
19:09Oh, yes.
19:09I get it.
19:10I get it.
19:13Oh, George.
19:14Look, it's just a door.
19:15Just a door.
19:17It's not the main safe at Fort Knox.
19:20Oi.
19:22I want a word with you.
19:24Speak to your press agent.
19:33What?
19:35Here we go.
19:36What do I...
19:39What do I fancy?
19:41How about a nice strong coffee?
19:42No.
19:43No.
19:44I won't sleep.
19:46Don't never mind all that.
19:47Oh.
19:48You see, I want to know what's going on here.
19:50Today was your first day in the new positioning.
19:53You went AWOL.
19:54I know it.
19:55In the pub making a holy show of yourself.
19:57I know it.
19:57That's a bit of an exaggeration.
19:58Do you not think I deserve some sort of an explanation?
20:01This all started when you were looking at that invoice.
20:04What was it put you in a weird mood?
20:06It's all right, all right, all right, all right.
20:08All right.
20:10All right.
20:12Do you want to know what's the matter?
20:14I do. Yeah, I want to know.
20:15Do you want to know what's the matter with me?
20:16Well, I'm going to show you what's the matter with me.
20:18It's in my bag here.
20:21Here we are.
20:23Hey.
20:24So what's that?
20:25Hey.
20:26What's...
20:27What's he look like?
20:31Look...
20:33Hello.
20:37It's a baby.
20:38Yeah.
20:39Is it Daisy?
20:41No.
20:42No.
20:44But what...
20:45Who is he?
20:46I don't understand.
20:49That's Rachel.
20:53That's Lucy's mummy.
20:56What?
20:57Lucy, you, Sally and Tim are...
20:59Yeah.
21:02Yeah.
21:04It's Rachel.
21:08It was death certificates I looked up before.
21:17She's my daughter.
21:19No.
21:23What?
21:29Oh.
21:30Oh, I need to lie down.
21:33Oh.
21:35Oh.
21:40She's lying down.
21:44Oh.
21:47Oh...
21:53well, I don't see her.
22:08Oh.
22:08Oh, oh.
22:08Oh, oh.
22:08Oh, oh, oh.
22:10Oh, oh.
22:12Oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:13Oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:14What a lot of equipment?
22:14Oh, oh.
22:14Oh, oh.
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