【Comedy Duo】Highest-earning athlete Cristiano Ronaldo (2026)

Man, prices have been so high lately,I keep thinking about how my allowance just won't go up. That's suddenly very real. Well, I guess everyone feels that way, right? So,do you know who the highest-paid soccer player in the world is? It's Cristiano Ronaldo! Ah, Ronaldo! He's doing great in Saudi Arabia too,and his fame and skills are on another level. Exactly! Apparently, his annual income is over 40 billion yen a year! 40 billion!? The numbers are so big it doesn't even make sense. If you convert that to a daily wage,it's over 110 million yen! 110 million yen a day!? You could buy a luxury car with just one day'swork! So that means,when Ronaldo thinks,"Ah, I'm thirsty,"and goes to buy juice from a vending machine,you know that "3-second gap"while he presses the button? Yeah, the time it takes to drop down with a clunk. In those 3 seconds,Ronaldo makes about 400 yen. He's already made back the money for the juice before it even drops!! It's like he's drinking it for free! Right! So starting today,I'm going to live my life as "Ronaldo." That's obviously impossible! You don't share a single thing with him—not your build, not your face, not your achievements! It's important to look the part first. First, you know the performance he does after scoring a goal? He jumps, spins around,and goes "Siuuuu!!" That shout he does. Ah, that one. The "Siu!"pose. I'm going to do it now,so you be the cheering crowd. Here I go, ready? (Takes a short run-up,jumps,lands with arms wide open)Suuuuu!! Your inhaling sound is too quiet!! It's "Siu!" Not that! Nobody gets hyped over an inhaling sound! No, it's not inhaling. This is the "Su" from"Shuukin" (collecting money). It's the sound of collecting money!? What a terrible performance! And the moment I land,200,000 yen cha-chings into my bank account. There's no cha-ching! You don't get a commissionfor the performance! But you know,his sponsor income is also insane.Apparently he gets millions of dollars just for posting one photo on social media? Ah, he has the most Instagram followers in the world, too. So I copied him,and uploaded a photo of the ramen I ate yesterday to social media. Oh, how much did you make? My mom gave me one "like,"and I got left over fried chicken from dinner. Paid in kind!! 300 yen worth of fried chicken doesn't even come close to Ronaldo! Well, even so,no matter how much he earns,Ronaldo's real greatness is his "uncompromising effort." He does hundreds of crunches every single day,maintaining 7% body fat! You suddenly said something sensible. True,his professionalism is off the charts. So I decided to learn from him,and bought an ab roller to get a six-pack! Ooh! Good for you! So, how many reps did you do? I opened the box, assembled it,felt satisfied, and put it in the closet. You didn't even use it!! Where's the professionalism in that! You just wasted closet space! No, I'm sure even Ronaldo started with a small stepin the beginning! Don't say that when you haven'trolled it even once! ...Wel