HOLD THE FORT 2025
#movietime #horror #suspense #comedy
A HOA turns out to be more troublesome than usual in this wildly amusing, FX-heavy freak-out about newly minted suburbanites unexpectedly forced to take part in a struggle against monstrous forces.
#uploadByDarkzero
#movietime #horror #suspense #comedy
A HOA turns out to be more troublesome than usual in this wildly amusing, FX-heavy freak-out about newly minted suburbanites unexpectedly forced to take part in a struggle against monstrous forces.
#uploadByDarkzero
Category
🎈
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00:23:24It's fine.
00:23:28See?
00:23:29Everything is gravy.
00:23:33Ew, you got a little bit of someone's brain in there.
00:23:36Whoa, whoa, easy.
00:23:37You're fine, just breathe.
00:23:44Now, what are we confused about?
00:23:47Everything.
00:23:49You've heard the legend of this place, right?
00:23:51Uh, yeah, Ted mentioned some stuff.
00:23:55Well, once a year that portal opens up
00:23:57and we've got to kill whatever comes out of it
00:23:58or they'll destroy the neighborhood.
00:24:00Pretty standard HOA stuff.
00:24:03That's why the fees are so high.
00:24:05Gotta pay for bullets and shit.
00:24:08Honestly, half the money goes into fixing this place up every year.
00:24:13That clear things up?
00:24:14No!
00:24:15Why would anyone want to live here?
00:24:18We're getting a pool.
00:24:19That dude exploded on me.
00:24:21Okay, to be fair, people typically don't die.
00:24:24McScruffy was late, the portal opened early.
00:24:25It's just one of those years.
00:24:27You're crazy.
00:24:29You're all fucking crazy.
00:24:31Jenny, hey, Jenny, come on.
00:24:33Let's get out of here.
00:24:34Focus.
00:24:35Jenny, come on.
00:24:36Right now.
00:24:37We should stay.
00:24:38They need our help.
00:24:39Our help?
00:24:40There's always one.
00:24:41Some people just can't handle it.
00:24:43Pussy.
00:24:44Clearly, they don't want my help.
00:24:47Fuck off, city boy.
00:24:51I need your help.
00:24:53Besides, you're in charge of the trunk.
00:24:55Actually, that reminds me.
00:24:56I need to run you through some of the logistics.
00:24:59Hey, you okay, buddy?
00:25:01Yeah, I'm fine.
00:25:03Just shit.
00:25:04Cherry!
00:25:04Oh, shit.
00:25:05Cherry!
00:25:07My body feels so heavy, but kind of nice.
00:25:10Wait, are you sick?
00:25:11Have you had enough water?
00:25:12Gallon a day, bitch.
00:25:14Don't call me that.
00:25:15Sorry.
00:25:15Okay, so is it your blood sugar?
00:25:17Have you eaten?
00:25:18I had like seven cheese sticks.
00:25:20God.
00:25:21You did what?
00:25:22I had seven cheese sticks.
00:25:24You ate seven of them?
00:25:25Maybe eight.
00:25:26Oh, he's fucked.
00:25:27Why?
00:25:28What's wrong with the cheese sticks?
00:25:29Well, it's only supposed to be one per person.
00:25:32Why is that?
00:25:33I told you.
00:25:34There's muscle relaxers in them.
00:25:36Why the fuck do the cheese sticks have muscle relaxers in them?
00:25:39Well, helps take the energy off.
00:25:42Yeah, I don't think you know what that means.
00:25:43My body feels like a cloud.
00:25:49Shit.
00:25:49We have movement.
00:25:51Oh, come on.
00:25:52Help me take them over to the window.
00:25:53Come on.
00:25:53Can I shoot anybody this time, Lucas?
00:25:56Come on.
00:25:57Come on.
00:25:57Come on.
00:25:58Come on, dearie.
00:25:58Oh, boy.
00:26:00Here we go.
00:26:00Come on.
00:26:01Come on.
00:26:03Okay.
00:26:04Okay.
00:26:05Okay.
00:26:06Okay.
00:26:08Oh, shit.
00:26:09No, it's fine.
00:26:09I can see this way.
00:26:11Stay with me.
00:26:11Stay with me.
00:26:12Hey, he's losing too much blood.
00:26:14What?
00:26:14What's happening?
00:26:15You keep an eye out the window.
00:26:19Come on, Scruffy.
00:26:20Come on, buddy.
00:26:22Don't pass out.
00:26:23Come on.
00:26:24Bruisers.
00:26:25Is he still breathing?
00:26:26He's still breathing.
00:26:27He's just not responding much.
00:26:29Oh, fuck.
00:26:33You fucked us, kid.
00:26:36Keep an eye on the portal.
00:26:55Uh, something just rose out of the portal.
00:26:58Describe it.
00:26:59It's three floating silver orbs.
00:27:03Orbs?
00:27:04Yeah, I don't know, man.
00:27:05It just looks like gray circles.
00:27:08Kung Fu spirits.
00:27:09Everyone talk!
00:27:17Shit.
00:27:19Cool.
00:27:19Come on.
00:27:21Yo, Bert.
00:27:22You cool, man?
00:27:28Everyone, I need you to listen to me very carefully.
00:27:34Oh, God.
00:27:36Listen.
00:27:37Whatever you do, do not let them bite you.
00:27:40What?
00:27:48Stay calm.
00:27:49Lucas.
00:27:50I need you to go into the trunk and get the peach wood sword.
00:27:57No.
00:27:59Oh, my God.
00:28:02Lucas!
00:28:03No.
00:28:04Fuck this shit, man.
00:28:05Big ass reach.
00:28:06Big ass reach.
00:28:07Big ass reach.
00:28:10Big ass reach.
00:28:12Big ass reach.
00:28:13Big ass reach.
00:28:16Big ass reach.
00:28:22Let's get him.
00:28:30Oh, shit!
00:28:38Somebody turn me around!
00:28:56I'm okay.
00:29:02Big-ass rich! Big-ass rich!
00:29:05Woo! Leslie, no!
00:29:09Big-ass rich! Liz, you okay? Talk to me!
00:29:14Oh, shit! You're gonna be my sidekick!
00:29:19What do we do? Do we shoot them?
00:29:21Blah!
00:29:36Sorry, neighbors.
00:29:53Light them up.
00:30:01I thought magic couldn't stop bullets!
00:30:03Kung Fu's not magic!
00:30:05Son of a bitch!
00:30:06Lucas! The trunk! You've got to use a sword!
00:30:09Run! Lucas!
00:30:11Am I shouting to myself over here?
00:30:14Annette, Jenny, grab Jerry and get to the closet.
00:30:24I'll get McScruffy.
00:30:29Come on!
00:30:30Come on!
00:30:31Come on!
00:30:31No! We need the sword!
00:30:33Motherfucker!
00:30:37No!
00:30:39You made it!
00:30:40You left me!
00:30:41No, I said run!
00:30:42Oh, shit!
00:30:43Teddy!
00:30:43No!
00:31:01Go to the floor!
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:16Can somebody sit me up, please?
00:31:22Is he still breathing?
00:31:24Yeah.
00:31:25Yeah, it's slow, though.
00:31:26Ted, we need to hurry.
00:31:27Yes, hi, hi.
00:31:28I'm at the Gruber Hills Clubhouse.
00:31:29There's been an attack, and we...
00:31:31Hello?
00:31:33Hello?
00:31:34Fuck!
00:31:37Hi, hello.
00:31:37Yes, this is Gruber Hills Clubhouse.
00:31:39It won't work.
00:31:40Yeah, they keep hanging up on me.
00:31:43What the fuck?
00:31:43Listen to me, it won't work.
00:31:45The police don't come here.
00:31:47What do you mean the police don't come here?
00:31:49Did you not read anything in your HOA contract?
00:31:51What?
00:31:52The contract?
00:31:55I skimmed it.
00:31:56Lord, help me.
00:31:57I'm about to fuck this boy up.
00:31:59Calm down, Teddy.
00:32:00Don't get too worked up.
00:32:02Remember, you're IBS.
00:32:04Look, son of a bitch, baby, it's all his fault.
00:32:06No, my fault.
00:32:07Fuck you.
00:32:08This is not my fault.
00:32:10Okay, you guys are the ones hiding this fucking monster mash.
00:32:13To be fair, it was all in the HOA contract.
00:32:15The HOA contract?
00:32:17Shut your fucking mouth!
00:32:21Those people are all dead.
00:32:24Because of you.
00:32:36Okay, that was a little harsh.
00:32:38It was an accident.
00:32:39Everyone knows the risks of living here.
00:32:41Anyway, we don't have time to argue.
00:32:43Okay, why don't the cops come here?
00:32:44It's a long answer.
00:32:45And fully outlined in the contract.
00:32:48Yes, thank you, Ted.
00:32:49Super summarized version.
00:32:50The government originally tried to get us to leave when they discovered the portal.
00:32:53But then we worked out a deal with them to let us stay.
00:32:55So now we're able to live here, but we're basically our own mini-county.
00:32:59And that's why there's no property tax.
00:33:01Fuck yeah.
00:33:02Is it worth it with the portal to hell and all?
00:33:05Well, after the first year, we hired McScruffy.
00:33:07We've only had one death since.
00:33:10Totally worth it for the cheap-ass mortgage.
00:33:12But now we're all gonna die, so maybe it wasn't.
00:33:16Well, with that attitude, we will.
00:33:18Sorry, Jared.
00:33:19Back to the issue at hand.
00:33:21As I was shouting at all of you earlier,
00:33:23the Kung Fu spirits can only be killed by stabbing them in the heart with peachwood.
00:33:26Lucky for us, we have a peachwood sword in the trunk.
00:33:29What's peachwood?
00:33:30It's wood from a peach tree.
00:33:32Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
00:33:33But why not oak or pine?
00:33:35It's old Taoism magic.
00:33:36Oh my God, we don't have time for this!
00:33:38We've got to get to the trunk and get the sword!
00:33:39Then we can kill those fuckers before the next monsters get here!
00:33:41I've got a better idea.
00:33:42Why don't we stay in here where it's safe?
00:33:44Out of the question!
00:33:46The longer we wait, the more monsters will appear.
00:33:47Eventually, something will burst through that door and kill us all.
00:33:51Yeah, okay, maybe we get the sword then.
00:33:53Oh, yeah.
00:33:54Great plan.
00:33:55Except you're forgetting one thing.
00:33:57Who's gonna stab the spirits?
00:33:59Scruffy's totally out of commission.
00:34:04I will.
00:34:08I'll get the sword.
00:34:10I'll kill those spirits.
00:34:12I got us into this mess.
00:34:14It's the least I can do.
00:34:18Like, fuck you, Will!
00:34:20No, I'm serious.
00:34:21Can you believe this, kid?
00:34:21Hey, I'm serious.
00:34:23You wouldn't last two seconds out there.
00:34:24We need a real plan.
00:34:25Actually, Lucas is really fast.
00:34:28He could probably get to the trunk.
00:34:30Oh, bull.
00:34:30He's not fast.
00:34:31What's your mile time?
00:34:324.47.
00:34:33Oh, yeah.
00:34:33That's pretty fast.
00:34:34Then it's settled.
00:34:35Lucas, we're counting on you.
00:34:38I'm gonna go with you to provide some distractions.
00:34:41Thanks, Ted.
00:34:42I'm not doing it for you.
00:34:43I'm doing it because I don't have faith you won't try to bail on us.
00:34:46Teamwork!
00:34:47I like it.
00:34:48Jenny, you man the door.
00:34:49Let's get moving!
00:34:50Let's wait for good luck.
00:34:51I love you, woman.
00:34:53Listen, I thought you were right behind me, I swear.
00:34:56Yeah, you know, it's fine.
00:34:58Just be careful.
00:35:00Lightning McQueen, let's go.
00:35:03Ooh, good job.
00:35:18Ah!
00:35:25Where did they come?
00:35:26Shh!
00:35:28Shh!
00:35:49Oh, good.
00:35:50Yeah, that's not terrifying.
00:35:52Jenny, grab one of McScruffy's guns and cover us.
00:35:57Come on, city boy.
00:36:00Let's go get that sword.
00:36:01You know, now that we're here, I was thinking maybe we don't.
00:36:04Okay.
00:36:07Can I have a gun?
00:36:08Abso-fucking-lutely not.
00:36:10Now move.
00:36:11Shh!
00:36:12Shh!
00:36:15Shh!
00:36:57Hurry up.
00:37:05Jesus!
00:37:06Sorry, sorry, that's my bad.
00:37:08You almost made me shit my pants.
00:37:12Sorry.
00:37:22Oh, my God.
00:37:25Hey, what does it look like?
00:37:26It looks like a fucking wooden sword, you dumbass.
00:37:29I didn't know if that was like a technical name or something.
00:37:31A technical name?
00:37:32I didn't know if that was like a technical name or something.
00:37:50There's fog.
00:37:53What?
00:37:54It's like fog creeping across the floor.
00:38:00He's here.
00:38:02Who?
00:38:08Jenny.
00:38:09What the hell?
00:38:10What the hell?
00:38:39Hurry up and find that sword.
00:38:42Uh, Ted?
00:38:43God damn it, Lucas.
00:38:45Get the sword.
00:38:47Lucas?
00:38:48Yeah, I'm looking, okay?
00:38:51Lucas?
00:38:52I'm looking.
00:38:53Oh, got it.
00:39:03What the fuck?
00:39:06What the fuck?
00:39:12Damn it, Lucas.
00:39:14Start stabbing these sons of bitches.
00:39:15Fuck this.
00:39:16Fuck this.
00:39:19Let me in!
00:39:20Jenny!
00:39:21Jenny, come on.
00:39:22Jenny, let me in, let me in!
00:39:25I'm trying, it's done!
00:39:28Jenny, there's fucking couple of donkeys out here.
00:39:30Let me in!
00:39:33Fuck!
00:39:33Everybody back up!
00:39:35Oh, boy.
00:39:35Fuck you, dork!
00:39:38Oh, my gosh!
00:39:40Jenny!
00:39:42Lucas!
00:39:44Fuck!
00:39:45The sword!
00:39:46Lucas, use the fucking sword!
00:39:53Ah!
00:40:05The bathroom!
00:40:19Holy shit!
00:40:21What was that?
00:40:21Lucas, you gotta use the sword.
00:40:23It's the only way to kill him.
00:40:24No, I did, and it didn't work.
00:40:25You gotta stab him in the heart.
00:40:29Oh, my God.
00:40:30Yeah, okay, that, okay.
00:40:32That makes sense.
00:40:33Oh, I gotta sit down.
00:40:35I gotta catch my breath.
00:40:37Fucking cardio.
00:40:42Oh, shit.
00:40:44When I catch my breath, we're gonna go back out there.
00:40:48I'm gonna give you an opening,
00:40:49and all you gotta do is stab, okay?
00:40:50What if we just stayed in here?
00:40:52No, we can't!
00:40:53If another monster shows up,
00:40:55we are extra fucked!
00:40:57And I'm not dying tonight.
00:40:59God damn it, we need McScruffy!
00:41:04Look, I'm...
00:41:06I'm really sorry.
00:41:07I, uh...
00:41:09I really messed up.
00:41:10If I was just at the window,
00:41:12like you said,
00:41:12I wouldn't have shot McScruffy.
00:41:14If you had a red contract.
00:41:17Yeah, that too.
00:41:22Oh, fuck.
00:41:24And now here we are,
00:41:26in a bathroom,
00:41:27hiding!
00:41:29And we're about to go back out there
00:41:30and kill our neighbors
00:41:32with a wooden sword.
00:41:36Life treats you kind of funny sometimes,
00:41:38isn't it?
00:41:40Let me give you some advice, kid.
00:41:44Life is gonna throw a bunch of shit at you.
00:41:46You can plan,
00:41:47and you can prepare,
00:41:48but eventually,
00:41:50something's gonna blindside you.
00:41:52When it does,
00:41:54you're gonna have a choice to make.
00:41:57Do I roll over
00:41:58and let life fuck me?
00:42:02Or do I fuck life right back?
00:42:08That's a really weird analogy.
00:42:10I need you to be strong.
00:42:12Jenny needs you to be strong.
00:42:15The HOA needs you
00:42:17to be strong.
00:42:19But...
00:42:21I'm scared.
00:42:22Who says I'm not?
00:42:24What does being scared
00:42:25have to do with anything?
00:42:26I'm talking about strength.
00:42:30This is your moment.
00:42:32This is where you show
00:42:33your true colors.
00:42:35Prove me wrong, Lucas.
00:42:38Show me you're not
00:42:39a selfish asshole.
00:42:43Okay.
00:42:44Don't just say okay.
00:42:45I need you to mean it.
00:42:48Yeah.
00:42:49You're right.
00:42:51I hear you.
00:42:54This is it.
00:42:55If you run again,
00:42:56I swear I'll kill you myself.
00:42:59Okay.
00:43:01Atta boy.
00:43:02Now let's go
00:43:03kick some fucking
00:43:04kung fu spirit ass.
00:43:07Wait!
00:43:08What are you talking about?
00:43:09Wait!
00:43:09That was a great pep talk!
00:43:11Leslie's Coke.
00:43:16You thinking what I'm thinking?
00:43:18Snort some coke,
00:43:19get fucking pumped,
00:43:21and go kill some zombies.
00:43:23What?
00:43:23No.
00:43:23That...
00:43:24What are you...
00:43:24It's a stimulant.
00:43:26I know.
00:43:27That's what I was...
00:43:30Oh...
00:43:31You think?
00:43:33Maybe.
00:43:35Maybe.
00:43:44We need to get to McScruffy!
00:43:46Now!
00:43:49There.
00:43:50That'll help.
00:43:51A bit.
00:43:52Any luck?
00:43:53It's still not moving.
00:43:55Maybe if I...
00:43:59What was that?
00:44:00Jared,
00:44:01they're still not back yet.
00:44:02Don't panic.
00:44:03We'll be all right.
00:44:04Jenny!
00:44:04I need you to reload
00:44:05McScruffy's Glocks!
00:44:06Reload?
00:44:07Why would...
00:44:11Quickly!
00:44:12Come on, Lucas.
00:44:13Where are you?
00:44:15How do you get
00:44:15the ammo holder thingy out?
00:44:18The little button!
00:44:18The button on the side!
00:44:19Oh, dear Lord.
00:44:21I'll make the opening
00:44:22and you stab, okay?
00:44:24Got it.
00:44:24Don't let me down, city boy.
00:44:26All right?
00:44:26Time to be strong.
00:44:27Let's do this.
00:44:28Take it till you make it, baby.
00:44:32Ah!
00:45:02It's not working!
00:45:04Put your back into it!
00:45:06Got you!
00:45:08Bitch!
00:45:11Hold it there!
00:45:28It's in my mouth!
00:45:30Fuck yes!
00:45:32Again!
00:45:33Again!
00:45:34I can't fucking see!
00:45:35Lucas!
00:45:40Why does this keep happening?
00:45:43Reset!
00:45:44Right!
00:45:45Now, Lucas!
00:45:52Ha!
00:45:53Classes, bitch.
00:45:56Set!
00:45:59Sorry, Leslie.
00:46:01Looks like we got the final blow.
00:46:02Blow!
00:46:13Holy shit.
00:46:22Way to be strong, city boy.
00:46:28Teddy!
00:46:29Annette?
00:47:01Get this to me.
00:47:02Scruffy.
00:47:03But what about...
00:47:03Do it!
00:47:07I'll take care of the pooch.
00:47:12Come on, Clifford.
00:47:14Let's tango.
00:47:21Fine.
00:47:22This fight it is.
00:47:27Is that all you got?
00:47:31Werewolf!
00:47:31Werewolf!
00:47:31I know!
00:47:32Jenny, hurry!
00:47:44How many bullets fit in this thing?
00:47:46You don't have the bullets!
00:47:47What are you doing?
00:47:48Come on.
00:47:49Please work.
00:47:49Please work.
00:47:50Please work.
00:47:51Please work.
00:47:51Come on.
00:47:51Girl!
00:47:56Oh, Ted!
00:47:58Jenny, hurry!
00:47:59I'm trying.
00:48:00I've never done this before.
00:48:01Come on.
00:48:02God damn it.
00:48:03Come on!
00:48:08Fuck you, purple!
00:48:24Keep your hands off my wife.
00:48:27You...
00:48:37I got it!
00:48:49I got it!
00:48:50He's...
00:48:51Is he dead?
00:48:52No, he's alive.
00:48:57He's freaking out, I think.
00:48:59Bang!
00:49:02Oh, my God.
00:49:03I am so sorry.
00:49:04I am so sorry.
00:49:05I didn't mean to leave you.
00:49:06No, no.
00:49:07No, it's okay.
00:49:08I'm just glad you're safe.
00:49:11Eddie?
00:49:13Eddie?
00:49:16Eddie?
00:49:16Eddie?
00:49:18Eddie?
00:49:18Eddie?
00:49:18Eddie?
00:49:20Eddie?
00:49:27I love you, Annette.
00:49:30Me too.
00:49:32You gotta hang on.
00:49:33You gotta hang in there.
00:49:34You're gonna be okay.
00:49:36You're gonna be okay.
00:49:43Guess I gotta...
00:49:45Blindsighted, huh?
00:49:50Hey, kid.
00:49:53This is another one of those, um, moments.
00:49:59Oh, my God.
00:50:03Oh, my God.
00:50:05Oh, my God.
00:50:08I love you, Annette.
00:50:09Danny, you can't.
00:50:11Danny, you can't.
00:50:13Oh, my God.
00:50:19Daddy, you can't.
00:50:21You can't.
00:50:24Danny, you're okay.
00:50:26No.
00:50:28Oh, no.
00:50:31Oh, no.
00:50:39Daddy!
00:50:41Daddy, no!
00:50:43Daddy!
00:50:44Let me know.
00:50:46Daddy!
00:50:48Daddy.
00:50:49Daddy.
00:50:50Daddy, please.
00:50:52Daddy, please.
00:50:54Daddy!
00:50:55Daddy!
00:50:57Daddy!
00:51:27Daddy!
00:51:30Daddy!
00:51:30Annette, get back!
00:51:33Daddy!
00:51:40Daddy!
00:51:41Do something!
00:51:44Daddy!
00:51:44Let her go!
00:51:46Don't make me use this!
00:51:47Daddy!
00:51:51Daddy!
00:51:51Don't let me down, city boy.
00:51:53It's time to be strong!
00:52:06That wasn't it!
00:52:07You know that wasn't it.
00:52:09That wasn't it!
00:52:23No!
00:52:59I'm not crying, I'm just, uh, I'm allergic to the blood.
00:53:04Yeah, me too.
00:53:10I'm so sorry.
00:53:14I'm so, I'm so sorry.
00:53:16I really fucked up.
00:53:17I think I really fucked up, Jenny.
00:53:20We just, we should not be here.
00:53:22We shouldn't have even moved here.
00:53:25Because you didn't even want an HOA to begin with.
00:53:29Yeah, but even you couldn't have predicted this.
00:53:34I could have listened to you.
00:53:38You know, I could have listened.
00:53:40And we wouldn't even be here tonight.
00:53:45True.
00:53:49Hey, did you know that Annette's moonshine just got picked up for distribution?
00:53:54It's gonna be available across the country in just a few months.
00:53:59Jerry knew some guys who pulled some strings.
00:54:03What are you talking about?
00:54:04And Marcus, he gave out free oil changes to everyone in the neighborhood just because.
00:54:13Oh, and Annette told me that Ted ran a neighborhood adult tea-balling.
00:54:22Adult tea-ball?
00:54:24Yeah.
00:54:25Yeah.
00:54:26It was just an excuse to get day drunk.
00:54:30Jenny, what are you doing?
00:54:33I'm just saying that they had a real family vibe here.
00:54:39And given other circumstances, I think we could have been really happy here.
00:54:48Jenny, you don't have to try to make me feel better.
00:54:51I'm not.
00:54:54I just need you to know that I don't blame you for this.
00:55:00It's not your fault.
00:55:17Hey Jenny.
00:55:19Yeah.
00:55:23I don't want us to die.
00:55:28We're not gonna.
00:55:31You just gotta stop being a negative Nancy.
00:55:40Annette, we need to get moving.
00:55:43Another wave is coming.
00:55:46What's the point?
00:55:48I've got a plan.
00:55:49It's crazy, but it's a plan.
00:55:53I don't think Teddy would want us to give up without a fight.
00:56:00What's the motto?
00:56:02Welcome to the Equinox.
00:56:05Please don't die.
00:56:10Thanks.
00:56:10I'm finally starting to feel my fingers.
00:56:12Check it.
00:56:15Got you, bitch.
00:56:19I'll punch you later.
00:56:20Jenny, anything out the window?
00:56:22Nothing yet.
00:56:22It's still quiet.
00:56:24Okay, so what's this plan?
00:56:25Alright, so you know how we're always on the defensive, right?
00:56:27We're always protecting the clubhouse from the monsters, yeah?
00:56:30Yeah.
00:56:30So we flip it.
00:56:31We go on the offensive.
00:56:33Okay, okay, so we attack the monsters.
00:56:37Not the monsters.
00:56:38We attack the portal.
00:56:41And how do we do that?
00:56:50We get drunk.
00:56:51That moonshine is...
00:56:53190 proof.
00:56:55AKA flammable as fuck.
00:56:58Okay, so we light the portal on fire?
00:57:00We fight fire with fire.
00:57:03That just makes more fire.
00:57:04We're not gonna burn them.
00:57:06We're gonna blow these motherfuckers to kingdom come.
00:57:10I mean, is...
00:57:11Is that gonna work?
00:57:13Hard maybe.
00:57:1370-30 chance.
00:57:1470 it works, or...?
00:57:20We fill that sucker up, push it in, come motherfucking boom.
00:57:24Okay, and to get it there, we, uh...
00:57:27We run it.
00:57:29You mean I run it?
00:57:31You good with that?
00:57:35We've got movement.
00:57:37Shit.
00:57:38What is it?
00:57:39What do you see?
00:57:40I don't know, a bird?
00:57:42Maybe a bat?
00:57:58What the?
00:57:59I've only heard about them in Legends.
00:58:02Kamikaze bats.
00:58:09Time to put the plan into action!
00:58:11Annette!
00:58:11Start filling that thing up!
00:58:13Jenny!
00:58:13Find a gun and start shooting down as many of those little fuckers as you can before they get here!
00:58:17Lucas!
00:58:19Limber up.
00:58:22Wait!
00:58:24Nick Scruffy!
00:58:28You're gonna need some extra cover.
00:58:36I'm coming with ya.
00:59:02You good, Scruff?
00:59:04Bang!
00:59:06Good enough.
00:59:07Lucas, you just focus on running, and Scruffy will be your cover.
00:59:11Jenny!
00:59:11You sharpshoot from here!
00:59:12And Jerry?
00:59:13You stay put.
00:59:14No need to be a dick.
00:59:15Gotcha, bitch.
00:59:17Okay.
00:59:19Let's do this.
00:59:21Wait!
00:59:22I just wanna say-
00:59:23Jenny!
00:59:24We don't have time for this right now!
00:59:25I'm glad we moved here.
00:59:26I love you.
00:59:27I love you too.
00:59:29Bang!
00:59:30Don't you worry, Scruff.
00:59:31We will.
00:59:33Lucas!
00:59:34Hurry!
00:59:34Oh, shit.
00:59:35Right.
00:59:37Let's do this.
00:59:59Scruffy!
01:00:07Don't you В CLAME!
01:00:08Nachtala!
01:00:08Arrgh!
01:00:11A application!
01:00:12Arrgh!
01:00:19Arrgh!
01:00:29Fuck!
01:00:30What?
01:00:31They fell!
01:00:32What?
01:00:36Scruffy, push!
01:00:38Come on!
01:00:40God dammit!
01:00:41Whose great idea was it to tape us together?
01:00:43Roll!
01:00:45To the left!
01:00:46Right! Sorry!
01:00:49Time to check your arm!
01:00:51No bad-itude!
01:00:54Mick Scruffy! The moonshine!
01:00:58This isn't working!
01:01:01There's so many of them!
01:01:03Jenny,
01:01:05we've got a problem.
01:01:06Yeah, no shit, we have a problem!
01:01:08No, I mean...
01:01:10Fuck.
01:01:16Fuck! Come on!
01:01:18Piece of shit!
01:01:20How do you tear, duck team?!
01:01:22Combat knife! Left ankle!
01:01:24What the fuck?!
01:01:27Jesus Christ!
01:01:34Oh, Kale!
01:01:35I'm a monster, Kale!
01:01:38Scruffy, it's empty!
01:01:39We've only got one option, then.
01:01:43You've had that on the whole time?!
01:01:45That's so dangerous!
01:01:47Get me to the portal!
01:01:55Oh shit!
01:01:58Oh shit!
01:01:58Oh shit!
01:02:00Oh shit!
01:02:05Oh shit!
01:02:08Oh shit!
01:02:09Oh shit!
01:02:12There's something in here!
01:02:14Ah!
01:02:15Somebody touched my butt!
01:02:16Ah!
01:02:17Jerry!
01:02:18Ah!
01:02:18It's the...
01:02:29Interesting...
01:02:30Oh shit!
01:02:36No!
01:02:37It's the...
01:02:40No!
01:02:41No!
01:02:43No!
01:02:45Ah!
01:02:46No...
01:02:49No!
01:02:49No!
01:02:49No!
01:03:09I don't like this.
01:03:11I don't do scary shit.
01:03:40I don't like this.
01:04:17I don't like this.
01:04:22I don't like this.
01:04:27I don't like this.
01:04:30I don't like this.
01:04:32I don't like this.
01:05:09No!
01:05:28What was that?
01:05:30Run!
01:05:32Run!
01:05:48Okay, how do we get this thing off you?
01:05:50You don't.
01:05:50No, no, no, no.
01:05:51There's gotta be a seam or something.
01:05:53There's no time!
01:05:54No, no, no!
01:05:54Cut it off!
01:05:55Listen!
01:05:56Listen!
01:05:58This is your HOA now.
01:06:01Mixed double.
01:06:07Pick what?
01:06:09Pick what?
01:06:23You think this is your half?
01:06:23Yeah, that's your head.
01:06:33Just, you know?
01:06:34This is my mother.
01:06:34It's my mother.
01:06:36I've got a nice chair.
01:06:37I've got a nice chair.
01:06:37I've got a nice chair.
01:06:38Come on.
01:06:39Let's sit.
01:06:49I'll cover you, run!
01:06:51No, Xcrubbie, I can't just...
01:06:52I'm already dead.
01:06:53Now go!
01:06:54What are you doing?
01:06:55Go!
01:07:03Make us proud, Nick Stubble.
01:07:06Holy shit!
01:07:07Holy shit!
01:07:08Holy shit!
01:07:08Holy shit!
01:07:09Holy shit!
01:07:11Holy shit!
01:07:38Holy shit!
01:07:40Holy shit!
01:07:45Holy shit!
01:07:46Holy shit!
01:07:48Holy shit!
01:07:49Holy shit!
01:07:49Holy shit!
01:07:50Holy shit!
01:07:52Holy shit!
01:07:52Holy shit!
01:07:52Holy shit!
01:07:52Holy shit!
01:07:54Holy shit!
01:07:57Holy shit!
01:07:59Holy shit!
01:08:01Holy shit!
01:08:05Holy shit!
01:08:06I guess you could say, I went out with her.
01:08:14Miss Scruffy!
01:08:52Miss Scruffy!
01:08:55Miss Scruffy!
01:08:57Miss Scruffy!
01:08:59Miss Scruffy!
01:09:00Miss Scruffy!
01:09:01Miss Scruffy!
01:09:03Miss Scruffy!
01:09:04Miss Scruffy!
01:09:29Oh my god, that was so scary, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
01:09:51Jerry, you're alive! Where am I? Where was I? I'm surrounded by flame! You're okay, you're okay, breathe, breathe, you're
01:09:59in the clubhouse. Oh thank god, this smells horrible!
01:10:07That man touched me with his stick.
01:10:14I want to go home.
01:10:28Well, maybe just a smidge that way.
01:10:31Yeah.
01:10:38Well, I just wanted to invite you to a party at the clubhouse tonight.
01:10:43It's a little annual thing we do here.
01:10:44Put on by the HOA.
01:10:46Party?
01:10:47Hell yeah.
01:10:48Fantastic.
01:10:49I'll see you at 7.
01:10:50Sharp.
01:10:54Oh, McScrappy, you're drooling.
01:10:58Shall we head to the fort?
01:10:59Let's do it.
01:11:00And hey, they're lucky it's actually just a party this year.
01:11:03Otherwise, McStubble might have to make an appearance.
01:11:05Aw.
01:11:06I still don't believe he actually called you that.
01:11:08No, he definitely did.
01:11:09It just grows in blonde.
01:11:11Mm.
01:11:12What do you think of this lawn?
01:11:13Should we send a letter?
01:11:14I was thinking the same thing.
01:11:15They've been here, what, a week already?
01:11:17The nerve.
01:11:18Now, boys, be nice.
01:11:21Oh, Derek the Dick's back from vacation.
01:11:23They didn't do so.
01:11:25They didn't do so.
01:11:32Let's get him!
01:11:35No!
01:11:53No!
01:12:02Just, just.
01:12:03Oh, my God.
01:12:34what's leslie doing drugs she's doing drugs
01:12:48i still don't believe he actually
01:12:50all right everyone gather around
01:13:08come on welcome to the ted talks
01:13:16i was trying to hold my breath
01:13:22bang
01:13:40let's call it a day
01:13:43i'm 65 miles away
01:13:46go about an hour to think of what i'm gonna say
01:13:53hello so here i am i've been missing you
01:13:59know what i can to forget you didn't know how much i love you so baby how much is much
01:14:11how deep it's deep how much is much how sweet it's sweet
01:14:22i always try to give you everything i have everything i have running round in circles makes me say how
01:14:36much is much how deep deep deep it's deep
01:14:51how much how much how much how much come on open the door
01:15:01you won't find me you won't find me weeping on your floor all i want to know is the answer
01:15:07to my question
01:15:11hello hello it's been so long i've been missing you don't get me wrong but i can't go on not
01:15:21a day without you beside me so baby how much is much how deep it's deep how much is much
01:15:35how sweet it's sweet
01:15:56how sweet it's sweet
01:16:00how sweet it's sweet