00:16Welcome to Patty Reviews. I'm here with Nature Nick and you've brought a melon.
00:23This is a three-banded armadillo.
00:24Pro. Armadillos are compact. They fit right together in this little ball, making them
00:30so easy to throw right in the trash can. Is she asleep or is she scared?
00:35Right now it's a little bright for the armadillo, so right now she's reluctant to come out of
00:39her shell and her ball.
00:41Hey, break the f**k off. We don't have time for this.
00:44Are you crying again? You're gonna cry again today?
00:46Oh my God, have you been drinking mezcal? You're drunk.
00:49You wonder why mommy always let me ride in the front seat of the van and you always had
00:53to sit in the middle row or the back row? This is why.
00:57This is like a protective shell. What is that made out of?
00:59It's actually keratin. It's the same material that makes up our fingernails.
01:04Could you paint her shell like you would paint a fingernail?
01:07It's not really a good idea for these guys to do that.
01:10Pro. You can paint its shell like a fingernail. And you should. All the time.
01:16Pro. This animal is called an armadillo. But if you're cool, you can call it an armadillo.
01:24Pro. Armadillos are the only animals with four legs.
01:27Uh, no it's not. I've had enough.
01:31So where can you find armadillos in the wild?
01:34This type comes from South America.
01:36Like Texas.
01:38The North American ones are in Texas.
01:40Of South America.
01:42Sure.
01:44Is this a fully grown armadillo?
01:46This is as large as she'll grow to be. She won't get any bigger than this.
01:50Han, this animal will not meet size regulations for you to use in an and one slam dunk competition.
01:57I'm still gonna dunk it at home. Cause there ain't no rules at Patty's court.
02:05Pro. You can't tell if this animal is alive or dead.
02:08Like my parents. Cause you can't get into contact with them.
02:12You probably could. But I can't. Could you?
02:15Can we get my parents contact information on screen so someone else can reach out to them?
02:19They won't respond to me, but they will definitely respond to the internet.
02:23This animal fat shames me on all of my social media photos.
02:27Yeah.
02:27I see you at armadillo6969.
02:34This animal doesn't like Beyonce's lemonade.
02:37It's not for you.
02:40Con. This animal's eyebrows are bad. It has none.
02:43Well, yours are uneven.
02:51Pro. Armadillos are compact.
02:54They fit right together in this little ball, making them so easy to throw right in the trash.
03:05Pro. You can tell how old an armadillo is by cutting it in half and counting the rings.
03:13Uh, we're not going to do that.
03:15When it comes to exotic animals, I give the armadillo a negative 4 out of 5.
03:20Because Nick would not let me kill it.
03:21Nick, can you get this out of here?
03:25I want to watch you throw it in the trash.
03:30Throw it in the trash.
03:31Throw it in the trash.
03:32He's not throwing it in the trash.
03:36If you enjoyed this video, like and subscribe.
03:39And let us know in the comments what animals I should review next.
03:43What do you think?
03:45What a rude bitch.
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