00:04I'd been filming, hadn't I, in Uganda, doing a documentary, and it had been very tough,
00:11and it had been building, something had been building up inside me.
00:13I can recall this talking out loud about, it's pointless, it's pointless,
00:18and everything about my life just had come to its end.
00:21And I find it very, very difficult to look at myself,
00:24and obviously, having done the amount of TV and stuff I've done,
00:27there are times when I'm sitting watching television and my ugly mug will pop up.
00:32I can see in my eyes, I can see how unhappy I am.
00:35And I became so good at being this schoolmasterly confident figure
00:39who apparently was in charge of everything, including his own emotions.
00:43And because I can speak with reasonable fluency, people mistake that for being in control, and it's not.
00:50Sometimes people who are seen as actors and funny people are asked to be performers in a way,
00:56and to make people laugh, and to always be on show.
00:58And although you're a public figure, you've always struck me as a very private person.
01:03There's so much people get of you, and I suppose we won't say this about anybody.
01:08And then when you had your, let's call it a breakdown,
01:12when you actually wanted to end your life,
01:14and you came for some help, and I saw you,
01:17you then had to talk about yourself and open up.
01:20It was very difficult, but it was ultimately the healing thing.
01:24Talking was really a very strong part of the healing.
01:27And my best friend of all, my husband, Elliot,
01:29he's become very expert at detecting, you know,
01:32when my moods are more than just being annoyed because I've locked myself out of the house,
01:37to a genuine fall in mood.
01:40I've rattled away, Bill,
01:42but part of what's happened is you've almost slipped into your professional ways,
01:45which is to listen.
01:47You're a talkative man,
01:48and once I asked you a few questions,
01:51you had no problem opening up in a way.
01:53But most people aren't very good at opening up.
01:56And I think we have to,
01:57I certainly have to,
01:59get people to feel that this is going to be a comfortable time and a helpful time for them.
02:04One conversation can make all the difference for people.
02:07We've had lots of conversations now, Stephen.
02:09Do you think it's made it easy for you to talk to people in a more down-to-earth way
02:14about your feelings?
02:15Well, in a way, yes.
02:17It's a two-way thing.
02:18You become not just a talker about your own problems,
02:20but you listen, you find that other people have been where you have been.
02:24So when you open up to other people,
02:26they can say,
02:27Oh, God, tell me about it.
02:29And you go,
02:29Oh, that's right.
02:30I'm allowed to feel like that.
02:32That's not part of my illness.
02:33And so you separate that your illness is just actually not the whole of your life.
02:37You will always have ups and downs.
02:39And that's what conversation can do, I think.
02:41It's people like you who've made a difference to this.
02:44Because actually, when people in the public eye will come out and say,
02:48I have also got a mood disorder,
02:51that makes it okay for a lot of people to have a mood disorder.
02:54And I think that's very valuable.
02:55And I hope people keep talking.
02:57Yeah, me too.
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