00:00Does mommy help with homework?
00:01She starts nice.
00:03Then what?
00:09We don't even know this! We did it yesterday! Yesterday!
00:14Who sends you to bed?
00:16Mom.
00:17And what does dad say?
00:18I love you. See you tomorrow.
00:26That's the sweetest loophole I've ever heard.
00:28What does mom say a lot?
00:30She says one minute.
00:32Is it one minute?
00:33No, it's a mom minute. Nobody knows how long that is.
00:40What is your dad best at?
00:43Pretending he didn't hear mom.
00:45Does that work?
00:46Sometimes. Until she says his full name.
00:50What happens then?
00:52He suddenly becomes very responsible.
00:55How do you know mommy is angry?
00:57She gives me a look.
01:00What kind of look?
01:01Like this.
01:04I know you heard me.
01:09What happens when mommy and daddy argue?
01:12Daddy always gets quiet.
01:14Why?
01:15Because he wants to live.
01:18What does mommy say right after cleaning?
01:20She makes announcements.
01:23What kind?
01:24Nobody touch anything.
01:28This kitchen is now a museum.
01:32What does mommy say at bedtime?
01:35It is bedtime.
01:39And what do you say?
01:41Five more minutes.
01:43I said what I said. Do not make me count to three.
01:46So what's your routine before you go to sleep?
01:50Negotiation.
01:51Negotiation.
01:52With who?
01:53Mommy.
01:54And what exactly are you negotiating for?
01:57Five more minutes.
01:59Does your dad ever tell your mom she looks beautiful?
02:02Every single day.
02:04That is so romantic.
02:06It's not romantic.
02:08It's a daily survival strategy.
02:12Does mommy make delicious meals at home?
02:15No.
02:16Mommy always tells dad like this.
02:18If you don't like my food, go back to your mother's house.
02:27My daddy's the king of our house.
02:30The king?
02:30Yes.
02:31So he makes all the rules.
02:32No, he has to listen to the queen.
02:34The queen?
02:35And who is queen?
02:36My mommy.
02:37Ha!
02:40She decides everything.
02:42What's the first thing mom does in the morning?
02:44She checks if coffee is ready.
02:46And then?
02:47Then she becomes nice, funny, happy, and finally ready for us.
02:54Who is the nicest person in your family?
02:57My grandma.
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