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  • 6 hours ago
Eddie and Anna gatecrash the Platts Christmas dinner. Joe quietly seethes but Gail insists they make an effort. The Websters join them for drinks. Gary turns up at No.8 and everyone starts rowing. Joe loses his temper and throws the Windasses out. Gail's embarrassed and Joe storms off in a huff.

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Transcript
00:02To the most wonderful people I have ever...
00:05I'm coming out so you're there to get this party started.
00:08What the hell do you think you're doing?
00:10We're here for the party.
00:12Afternoon, you said.
00:14Yeah, after lunch, I meant.
00:16You said instead of...
00:17We could have gone round to your mother's with Gary.
00:19I thought you were a buffy.
00:20I've got the wrong end of the stick.
00:22Well, now you've got the right end.
00:23See you later.
00:25With no end, instead of making dinner,
00:27I've spent all morning making stuff for your do.
00:30Perhaps we could park ourself on your sofa, Gail,
00:33and have a pick at these to keep our hunger at bay till the party.
00:37Why don't you just go home?
00:38No.
00:39Join us.
00:40With plenty of food, I'll get some plates and cutlery.
00:43Gail, no!
00:45This is what Christmas is all about.
00:47Helping one's neighbour.
00:52Bring for a little one.
00:53You look a bit pushed for a space.
00:55I'll have mine over here on a tree.
00:57Have you got the remote control, Andy?
01:01I was you.
01:02I'd say something.
01:07How do?
01:09Second's out, round one.
01:11Hi, love.
01:12Come here, now.
01:14Mwah!
01:15I had his funny at Scalic Kitchen.
01:18I never thought you were going to get here.
01:20I cannot stop thinking about it.
01:21You're right, any chance of a beer?
01:23I'm spitting feathers here.
01:25Oh, yeah.
01:25Yeah, yeah, I'll go and get you one.
01:27All right, Pops.
01:30Ignore him, Kevin.
01:33I think the atmosphere's just took a turn for the worst.
01:36Sorry about that, love.
01:37You know what I'm like after I've had sprouts.
01:39No, the mood, idiot.
01:40Nip home and get their presses pronto.
01:48So you got any plans on New Year's Eve?
01:50Not yet, no.
01:51I was talking to the lady.
01:53I know a lot of dorms in town, so we can get in most places, like.
01:56Aw, could be.
01:57Great.
01:59You not got a cold one?
02:01Yeah, yeah, I'll go and see.
02:04Bitch!
02:06So what do you get a girlfriend this Christmas?
02:08A squeaky toy.
02:09What girlfriend?
02:10I'm young, free and single, me.
02:12Got an eye on someone, though.
02:15Like a dog.
02:16I feel like walking over there and sticking his cam.
02:18Calm down.
02:20Victor Bush, please!
02:24First of all, we'd like to thank Gail and Joe for your hospitality.
02:31And as a token of our goodwill, we'd like to give you these.
02:36Eddie.
02:37Yeah, that's for your book.
02:46A tool belt?
02:47Is this a joke?
02:49Well, if we saw it, it'd be Andy-like.
02:51You steal me tools, you take me livelihood away and you give me a tool belt.
02:54Yeah, it's very kind of you, Anna.
02:57David, put some more music on.
02:59Outside with that.
03:01Fine.
03:02Fancy one?
03:03I don't smoke.
03:04Who said out about smoking?
03:06You know where I am.
03:10Oh, no!
03:11David!
03:14Leave him alone, you tarts.
03:17What?
03:18I said outside.
03:20You want to be careful, pal.
03:21Because your face is writing checks that your fists can't cash right now.
03:24Look, just leave Tina alone, all right?
03:26She's not interested.
03:26Did she say that?
03:27Because she's telling me something different.
03:29What?
03:30I know women.
03:30You want to look great.
03:31And she's aching for it, mate.
03:32Fine.
03:33I'm going to have her.
03:34And there's nothing you can do about it.
03:40And when we'll talk about freaks, I'm not the one who made out of the kidnapper twice my age.
03:46Come on, now!
03:47Come on, now!
03:48Hey!
03:48Hey!
03:49Hey!
03:49Pack it in, you two!
03:50Pack it in!
03:52Pack it out!
03:55Everybody out!
03:56Now!
04:09Come on!
04:10There's a day of relative peace and sanity with me family.
04:13But no, you had to turn it into a free-for-all.
04:15You're barging and takeover, talking, talking, talking about nothing!
04:19Less than nothing!
04:20Joe!
04:20I'm not finished.
04:21Nobody here can stand the sight of you, any of you.
04:23And I don't want you here.
04:24Now, tomorrow, ever.
04:26So sling it off!
04:27Well, if that's how you feel, I'll be taking home me vol-a-vance.
04:29Oh, you can have a mate, with my blessing.
04:32There you are!
04:33How about some mini-scotch eggs and all?
04:35Hey, Joe!
04:36Stop it, you're not tired!
04:37Oh, no, stop it!
04:39Yeah?
04:39Yeah.
04:40You feel a bit package and all, eh?
04:42That's it.
04:43Junior's got the right idea.
04:44You want some more, do you?
04:46Come on!
04:47Stop it!
04:47Stop it!
04:48Stop it!
04:49I think you'd better go!
04:51I might not blame you, no case you want to lock it up!
04:54Come on!
04:55Come on!
04:57All right, I think it's time we went and all.
04:58You!
04:59Oh!
05:00You know where we are, yeah.
05:05Thanks for the buffet.
05:27What was all that about?
05:28I warned you what would have.
05:29Over and over.
05:30I knew they'd ruin things!
05:32They'd ruin things?
05:34This has nothing to do with the wind, asses.
05:38You were out of control, Joe.
05:41I didn't recognise you.
05:44You frightened me.
05:51I wanted today to be perfect.
05:54To be everything I know we could be.
05:58Ha!
05:59Could have been.
06:02But sometimes just wanting something isn't enough, is it?
06:07Too many other things get in the way.
06:15Tell me what it is.
06:18Everything.
06:20Nothing.
06:22That's the worst part.
06:28I'm sorry.
06:42Joe?
06:43Joe!
06:44Wait!
06:44You all right?
06:47You all right?
06:50Where are you going?
06:52I'm sorry.
06:56I can't.
06:58It's not fair.
07:01Dad!
07:04Don't go!
07:05No!
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