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FunTranscript
00:06No, really?
00:08Yeah.
00:09You wanna know why?
00:10Why is that?
00:11Knees.
00:13A knee?
00:14Yes.
00:15Look where they're facing.
00:16Not at him.
00:17Yeah, but she's been smiling at him and nodding.
00:20Yeah, but that's just like top half stuff.
00:22Are we talking nothing?
00:24I don't know.
00:26I kinda see it.
00:27Hmm.
00:32God, I'm just too good.
00:35You're screwed, dude.
00:37You know what that means.
00:38Dear God.
00:45No, by all means, take your time.
00:51Cheers.
00:57Damn.
00:59No chaser or anything.
01:01It's hot.
01:05Next.
01:05Hmm.
01:06Why are we here?
01:08To make sure that Jules doesn't get ax-murdered by this quasi-stranger that we met at Magic Mike Light.
01:13Mm-hmm.
01:14And if you had been paying attention, you would have noticed a very important need to her date by stage,
01:18right?
01:22Well, hey!
01:23I think it's safe to say what's going on.
01:25Well, their date or ours?
01:27Ours, obviously.
01:28Well, if you consider the facts of the case.
01:30Which are?
01:31That you're a hetero, and I'm not that charming.
01:35I can see that they could possibly stand a better chance.
01:40Hold on.
01:41Okay.
01:44Not...
01:46Not that...
01:55Wow.
01:56I'm sorry.
01:56Am I in your life?
01:57No.
01:58Ah, I didn't have you.
02:00No, that's just a little something she likes to do when we are very much in problem.
02:03I can't help myself.
02:05I'm sorry.
02:05I was really hoping to get to second base.
02:07I get that.
02:08Sorry to throw you off your game.
02:08Can I get you anything started right now?
02:10I'm gonna be completely honest with you and say that we have not even taken one single
02:14little peek at these menus because we are very focused on watching our friend's first
02:19date at the bar.
02:19Oh my God, you are.
02:21Uh, well, that's what you call watching?
02:24Because you were drunk.
02:25Well, we're slowly whisking her out of a dry spell.
02:28She's been wildly emotionally out of bounds, but personally, I can't blame her after
02:34him got fell.
02:36Uh-huh.
02:36That's her?
02:37Yeah.
02:38Yeah.
02:38Okay, well, I will take extra good care of her for you then.
02:42Run my way into the inner circle.
02:43Mm.
02:49Are you flirting with me?
02:51What?
02:52Yeah.
02:53No.
02:53I feel like you were flirting with them.
02:55Well, I was not-
02:57I've come to think of it.
02:58I don't think I've ever seen that from you before.
03:04It's pretty cute.
03:05What can I say?
03:06I can be kind of shy.
03:07No, you're not.
03:09Well, sometimes in certain scenarios I am.
03:12Is he doing it for you?
03:13Mm-hmm.
03:13You hear me.
03:15I don't know.
03:16I-I guess.
03:17Amelia, you should get his number.
03:19Absolutely not.
03:20No, Amelia.
03:21Please, come on.
03:21It'll be so much fun.
03:22And then we would all get some play tonight.
03:23It's perfect.
03:24Who's playing with you?
03:25I'm always playing.
03:27Like, right now?
03:28Yes.
03:28I'm-
03:29Yes.
03:30You're playing right now.
03:31Of course you are.
03:32Stop.
03:33This is about you, right?
03:36Yes.
03:37So-
03:39I know.
03:39I promise you, it doesn't matter.
03:41You see that there are no stakes here, right?
03:43I guess.
03:44Mm-hmm.
03:44And you're probably never gonna see that guy even.
03:46No, I know.
03:47So what's the problem?
03:49I guess my normal strategy is just to have feelings for someone,
03:54for months, years even, and then just put them away, pocket them,
04:01let them fester in my head.
04:07Sometimes I wonder if having a little secret with myself
04:09is more intimate than anything anyone else can ever give me.
04:15That sounds lonely.
04:19Okay, overall, I think it's going pretty low.
04:22He ordered a porn star martini.
04:23I can't tell if it's a red or a green flag.
04:25Mm-hmm.
04:26Can I get you ladies anything officially?
04:29It's okay.
04:29It's okay.
04:30No, they don't care.
04:32Yeah, actually, we will do two gin and tonics,
04:35double with elderflower tonic if you have.
04:39That's how she likes it.
04:42And how do you like it?
04:47Get our next round, and you'll find out.
04:54See?
04:55Maybe you should get his number.
04:57God, what?
04:58No.
05:00I still want you to get his number.
05:01I don't want it.
05:03Really?
05:04Yes, I don't want it.
05:08Okay.
05:12Sorry, I...
05:12You have nothing to be sorry about.
05:13I just...
05:14I'm good.
05:23I didn't like you when we met.
05:25I'm sorry, what?
05:27I...
05:30Wow.
05:30Yeah, I didn't...
05:32I don't know.
05:33It's your...
05:35Your face and your...
05:37Personality.
05:39It's...
05:41It's terrifying.
05:44What does that even mean?
05:48It's a good thing.
05:53Do you...
05:54I do.
05:55Come with us everything.
05:56Okay.
05:57Anyone even notice.
05:59Oh.
06:01Oh.
06:10Do I look cool or what?
06:12It's so cool.
06:14Hot.
06:15Unapproachable.
06:17I think I might be peeing a little.
06:18I think you make people pee.
06:35My fingertips are all warm and dingly.
06:38Amelia.
06:40Have you ever had a cigarette before?
06:44So...
06:45I'm your first.
06:47Take it hurt.
06:48Where have I heard that before?
06:50Jesus.
06:56Oh.
06:57That's music.
06:58That's music.
06:59Shit.
06:59Should we wait in the...
07:00Bathroom.
07:01Yeah.
07:14Did you litter that cigarette?
07:15Mm-hmm.
07:17What if it's hurt a fire?
07:18What if...
07:20Our friend is out there right now perishing to her death and cornstorm martini as the accelerant?
07:26God, that would be an iconic way to go.
07:31Hey, Max.
07:32Mm-hmm.
07:35Look at your knees.
07:36Elvis.
07:59Fuck!
08:00Guys.
08:01What's wrong?
08:02What happened?
08:02I'm gonna die alone.
08:03I'm going to die alone.
08:05I'm going to die alone and it's going to be my fault.
08:07You know why?
08:07Because I can't do happy.
08:09And I can't do healthy.
08:11And I can't do good.
08:13Okay, let's just take a breath, Julius. What happened?
08:16Nothing happened. Nothing happened.
08:17That was the point.
08:18He was perfectly nice and chivalrous.
08:20And I wanted to claw my eyes out every time he spoke.
08:24Okay, hold on.
08:25Is that just my type now?
08:28Like, fucked up people?
08:32Like...
08:35After everything last year, what?
08:38I'm just going to keep dating the same terrible person in different bodies?
08:45That is so shitty.
08:46That is so shitty.
08:47I am so shitty.
08:49I literally, I cannot seem to...
08:53Is she alright?
08:54Yeah.
08:56Yeah, she'll be okay.
08:57She just, um...
08:59I think she had her first sip of her cigarette.
09:01And I know she might have got a little...
09:03Harried away with it.
09:04Dwayne, I'm so sorry.
09:05Why are you sorry? Why?
09:07I'm going to have to ask you first.
09:08Oh, of course, yeah.
09:10Right?
09:12Yeah.
09:13Yeah.
09:14It's okay.
09:15It's okay.
09:18I didn't even cough. I was so cool.
09:22Fuck.
09:38Maybe my thing just wasn't that deep.
09:42Like, maybe I just wasn't meant to find love at Magic Mike Live.
09:46Maybe.
09:47Maybe.
09:47Yeah.
09:52Oh, also...
09:54Yeah, what do you have on your face?
09:56Dawn, it's...
09:56No, you've got like...
09:57What?
09:59Yeah.
10:02How did that even happen?
10:03How did that even happen?
10:05How did that even happen?
10:05How are we going to get out of the bathroom?
10:09Well, you could just walk back to the bar, tell Dylan you're not feeling a romantic connection.
10:14We can leave through the bathroom.
10:15Mm-hmm.
10:16Mm-hmm.
10:18Or we could sneak out the front.
10:19We did a practice run earlier.
10:20If you stay flush with the west-facing wall, he won't be able to see you.
10:23I brought the emergency door open with a rock.
10:25Okay.
10:27Okay.
10:28I feel like I should take all of that personally.
10:31Mm-hmm.
10:32And genuinely, the fact that you know which way is west is very alarming to me.
10:37Yeah.
10:38I was a Girl Scout.
10:40I know.
10:40You're so gay.
10:46You're so gay.
10:48Yeah.
10:50Wait, what?
10:58Jules.
10:59Yeah.
11:00The bartender.
11:01Oh.
11:02No.
11:03So hard.
11:05You guys, Dylan is literally in the building.
11:08What?
11:09People in the service industry are her type, okay?
11:11I'm just looking out for you.
11:13I know you thought that.
11:14Yeah, that's fine.
11:15Like...
11:16Would it be insane, actually?
11:17Or if I could find a guy in the building?
11:18No, no.
11:19Seriously.
11:20You're horrible.
11:21I know.
11:21You should really work on keeping better.
11:23But...
11:24I'm so sorry.
11:28I'm following your lead.
11:31I'll watch you sleep.
11:33I'll count the times at your heartbeats.
11:37We're talking deep.
11:39You're risen to me.
11:40I think I'll follow your lead.
11:44I'll make it seem like a mystery.
11:48But I am crawling on my knees.
11:52We're acting sweet up.
11:53I'll make it seem like a mystery.
11:54I can guarantee that I will follow your lead.
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