00:06You
00:06So you're a masseuse? I am. What is it that you do? I'm a poet and I'm a dreamer
00:12No, really? Oh, you're really a poet? Yeah. Oh
00:17This is Albert
00:19You know my friend Eva was just telling me that there is not one guy at this party that she's
00:23attracted to
00:23It's okay. There's no one here. I'm attracted to either. All right, great
00:28Some guy you met at the party wants your number
00:32Hi. Hi. Oh, did I get the day wrong? No. Why? Because you're wearing your pajamas. It's Sunday. I like
00:38to be comfortable. Oh, good
00:41This is my daughter. Wow. She's stunning. Where's mine?
00:45She's beautiful. I don't know what my life is gonna be like or this whole going away to college thing
00:50I guess we should develop hobbies. Actually, I weave. Like baskets? Yeah, I do it in the garage. Really? No
00:59Hi, dad
01:00My daughter has a lot of friends. You think they have threesomes? What? Why would you say that? I know,
01:05but apparently it's what they're doing these days
01:07I'm afraid that window's closed
01:09There was a window
01:11So what about you? Do you have a boyfriend? Yeah. What's he like? He's funny and comforting
01:16Want a kiss? And sexy to me? Yeah
01:19My ex-husband and I have zero in common and I was completely repulsed by him sexually
01:25Oh god, no
01:26Just a sec
01:27Marianne, please pick up the phone
01:28Albert, hi
01:31Remember that new client of mine? Well, it turns out she is albert's ex-wife
01:35Stop saying her, please. I don't have anybody I can bitch to
01:40You can completely bitch to me. He was very clumsy in bed
01:43Oh, my hair, my hair
01:44Okay
01:45He'd go on so many diets and then he would cheat
01:48And he has no friends
01:50I have lost all perspective
01:52I've been listening to this woman say the worst things about the guy that I'm starting to really like
01:57She's like a human trip advisor
01:59Albert is not a hotel
02:01If you could avoid staying at a bad one, wouldn't you?
02:04Oh my god
02:08You know how many calories are in guacamole?
02:11I'm gonna get you a calorie book
02:12You're picking on him
02:13No, I'm not
02:14You are
02:14That was embarrassing
02:16A calorie book
02:17I'm not obviously gonna buy you a calorie book
02:19Why do I feel like I just spent the evening with my ex-wife?
02:23Oh, I screwed up big time
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