00:11Você realmente tem algo quando você gosta de alguém, não como cologne ou lingerie detergent ou
00:16lotion, mas quando você sente que você está smelling alguém's insides, como esse
00:20é o que essa pessoa realmente sente. Quando você wake up e sua cabeça está
00:25entre o seu cheque e o seu cheque, e o primeiro que você sente é apenas ele, e é o
00:30melhor.
00:32O que é que eu não quero sentir mais nada depois disso, mas meu nec começa a se sentir e
00:37eventualmente eu tenho que ir.
01:12Eu stare into his eyes sometimes to see if there's anything there, and he can't seem
01:16to hold it for more than two seconds.
01:39What if I'm the crazy one in this relationship?
01:51Sometimes I think about if he'd be less upset at my funeral than I would be at his, or if
01:56he'd come.
02:12Being paranoid means you'll only accept the bad news as true.
02:16There were no signs, it was just my gut.
02:19Am I just the ultimate pessimist?
02:23Am I setting myself up for failure?
02:27Or is he just a fantastic liar?
02:31I make these self-fulfilling prophecies of things not working out, and I get so paranoid that
02:36I'm not satisfied until something terrible happens.
02:41These guys always fall for me, I fall too, but they get right back up and walk all over me.
02:53I feel empty when he touches me now, like he's taking something away from you.
03:11Something that feels good about sadness, just letting it take over feels like I'm home.
03:21He says he loves my body, but I don't think he understands that you can't have a body without
03:25something inside it.
03:28Every time I come close to ending things, he acts like he has no clue.
03:32He has no clue that there's no kinetic energy jumping between us when we lock eyes, or that
03:36I want to kill him half the time I'm with him.
03:40He's always the offended one.
03:42He keeps everything down, forces me to bring it up, and he gets to act like I'm the destroyer
03:46in this relationship.
03:49What happens when you need the one who hurt you to give you comfort?
04:08I hurt everywhere.
04:15I've been stopping a fucking child.
04:23I'm not a child.
04:25We're just different.
04:29And clearly you don't trust me.
04:32I want to, but I don't.
04:40Well, it's fun I guess.
04:43Yeah.
04:44I'll see you around.
04:45Yeah.
04:51My hands still smell like him.
04:54My pillow still smells like him.
04:57Now all I can smell is him.
05:09My head is soft.
05:10My head is soft.
05:12And it's a nice feeling.
05:16My head is tough.
05:18I can't let him go.
05:19I can't let him go.
05:20I can't let him come.
05:20I can't let him go.
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