00:30I probably should have told you long ago
00:32I made up all those stories about your father
00:34Okay, what?
00:35That he died of colon cancer
00:37I'm not sure who your father was
00:40I spent my whole life trying to honor his memory
00:43This means I stare at assholes for a living
00:45Because of a fictional man's colon cancer
00:47Could you pivot into plastic surgery
00:50Or something less butt-related?
00:53He's out there
00:54I'm gonna find Dad
00:55Let's do it
00:56Mom actually dated Terry Bradshaw
00:58Do you remember a woman named Helen Baxter?
01:02Talk about a blast from the past
01:04She had the tightest ass you've ever seen
01:07And a set of knockers
01:09Damn near cost us the Super Bowl
01:12Who's Roland Hunt?
01:14You guys are Lenny Baxter's kids?
01:16So what are you doing here?
01:17We think we're your sons
01:19You're our dad
01:21There he is!
01:22No way those two jackasses are my kids
01:25They look like a couple of dickheads
01:27He runs hot
01:28Just like you
01:30It sounds like you had an awful day
01:33Go go go go!
01:34Stop!
01:36What was a hat?
01:37I think it was a person
01:37And yet
01:39An amazing day
01:40Are you ready for me?
01:47Bastards
01:47Why don't you just stop this foolishness
01:50Who your father is or isn't is totally irrelevant
01:55We almost got killed
01:57No we just had one of the best adventures of our lives
01:59No we didn't
02:00Hey guys my negro spider senses is tingling
02:03It's not the soul train
02:04Death is a train
02:11Bastards
02:11Does the name Helen Baxter ring a bell?
02:14It does more than ring a bell
02:15Oh right
02:16The woman was like a dick whisperer
02:18What makes you think about Helen Baxter?
02:20She's her mom
02:21All we did was cuddle
02:23Are you ready for me?
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