00:00My boyfriend of six whole months genuinely, unironically, thinks I am secretly trans.
00:06Because of my beard.
00:07Yes, you heard that correctly.
00:09A whole beard.
00:11Okay, so let's back up.
00:12I have PCOS, polycystic ovary syndrome, for the girlies who don't know.
00:18It's basically just hormones doing whatever they want.
00:20And for me, it means your girl grows facial hair.
00:23Like robust facial hair.
00:25I usually keep it completely handled, okay?
00:29Waxing, shaving, threading.
00:30We have a whole routine.
00:32It is a full-time job, but we stay smooth.
00:35But last week, I caught the absolute worst flu.
00:38I was literally fighting for my life in bed for five days straight.
00:43I didn't look in a mirror, I didn't wash my hair, and I definitely did not shave.
00:47I was just a walking, breathing fever.
00:51So, day five hits.
00:52The fever finally breaks.
00:54I crawl out of bed to go to the kitchen to get some water.
00:57Looking like a literal shipwreck.
00:59My boyfriend, bless his heart, is sitting on the couch.
01:03I walk past him, and he just stops.
01:06He stares at me.
01:08And not the, oh baby, you look so sick, stare.
01:10It was the, I am seeing a ghost stare.
01:13I'm like, what?
01:15Is there something on my face?
01:16And he goes, in this super intense, dramatic whisper.
01:20Babe, is there something you need to tell me?
01:23I'm standing there, totally confused, holding my water bottle like, tell you what, that I want soup?
01:30Y'all, he points at my chin.
01:32And I suddenly remember, the five day shadow.
01:35I touch my face, and it feels like sandpaper.
01:38I have a literal, visible five o'clock shadow going on.
01:42He stands up, looking all emotional, and goes, I know your secret.
01:46And it's okay, I'm supportive.
01:49But you should have told me you transitioned.
01:52Bro.
01:52My jaw literally dropped to the floor.
01:55I started laughing because I thought he was doing a bit, right?
01:58I was like, ha ha, yeah, very funny, I look like a lumberjack.
02:03But he wasn't laughing.
02:05He had tears in his eyes.
02:07He was like, no, it makes sense why you're so private in the bathroom.
02:11I won't judge you.
02:12I had to sit him down and explain biology to a grown man.
02:16I was like, babe, I have PCOS.
02:19Women can grow coarse facial hair.
02:21It's literally just hormones.
02:23And this man looked me dead in the eyes and said, I kid you not, no, that's not biologically possible.
02:30Girls only get light peach fuzz.
02:32TikTok told me women don't grow actual terminal hair there.
02:35I had to pull out Google, show him medical diagrams,
02:38and he was still looking at me like I was a secret agent covering my tracks.
02:43I am literally at a loss for words.
02:45He's currently in the other room, probably searching Reddit threads, trying to debunk my hormones.
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