00:00I thought I'd be happier at 40.
00:03You are happy and I'm not 40, asshole.
00:06You don't look happy.
00:07I feel like you're having a midlife crisis.
00:10Well, I feel like you're high on mushrooms,
00:11so you don't know .
00:14To Elliot.
00:15No, not the whole bag.
00:16May you experience a new level of consciousness tonight.
00:20Oh, my God.
00:21Are you guys tripping?
00:23I don't feel anything.
00:24That's because we don't tolerate drugs well.
00:26Hey, freak.
00:27Who are you?
00:28Elliot.
00:28Dude, I'm you.
00:30You're me.
00:31What's up?
00:32I don't have a gap in my teeth.
00:33Wear your retainer.
00:34Left boob.
00:35One cup smaller than the right.
00:37Okay.
00:38I'm actually kind of hot for being middle-aged.
00:40I'm 39 years old.
00:41That's not middle-aged.
00:42No, that is middle-aged.
00:43No, it's not.
00:45I am a very young adult.
00:48I'm so jealous you guys had good trips.
00:50Did you have fun?
00:51Yeah.
00:52Dude, I know mom can be annoying, but be nice to her.
00:54And go hang out with your brothers.
00:56Ow!
00:56Max!
00:57Also, can you avoid anyone named Chad?
01:00Good morning, Elliot.
01:01Have you met Chad?
01:03Um...
01:03Elliot, you freak.
01:04I put my number on your phone the other night, but I did not know this would work.
01:08Wait a minute.
01:08Hang on.
01:09Basement!
01:10Basement!
01:11Dude, I gotta go.
01:16You are so lucky.
01:18Life will never be the same as it is right now.
01:21Just take my advice and we'll be fine.
01:23Oh my god!
01:25I think.
01:28What's going on with you?
01:30I just feel like everything that used to make sense doesn't anymore.
01:35The only thing you can't get back is time.
01:37It goes by so fast.
01:41I still need you.
01:42I'm literally an idiot.
01:43You're not an idiot.
01:49If we weren't the same person, do you think you'd even like me?
01:53You're just saying that because you're young and dumb.
01:55But if you weren't young and dumb, you'd never be brave enough to do anything.
01:59Maybe you need to listen to my advice for once.
02:02Can we kiss?
02:04No.
02:04What?
02:05Can I at least touch my old ass?
02:06Oh my god.
02:07You need to be locked up.
Comments