00:08The Last Man on Earth
00:08Everywhere I go, every place I turn, even in here.
00:13Hey, Johnny, you got any termites handy?
00:15Do me a favor, will you, Papi?
00:17What?
00:17Help me change my name.
00:19I wouldn't marry you if you were the last man on earth.
00:22Very funny.
00:24You know, I like to get my hands on the guy that started this.
00:27Why don't they write Brown is here or Jones was there, anything.
00:31Oh, stop racing your motor.
00:33You know, I wonder if anybody ever met up with a real man.
00:35No, you know, there is no such character.
00:38Sure, everybody's got ideas.
00:39Probably started as a gag with those glamour boys in the air.
00:43I'm not even a guy anymore. I'm a miss.
00:46You're lisping.
00:47No, in my book, you're still a mister.
00:49I could write a book.
00:52Maybe I will when I get to college.
00:54College?
00:54Are you back on that college kick again?
00:57Hey, look, Johnny.
00:58Didn't you and I used to have a lot of fun together when we were hacking cabs?
01:02Why do you want to go to college?
01:04Why?
01:05Benson College.
01:05Perry Hollister, remember?
01:07Oh, okay.
01:08Perry was one guy in a million, I will admit.
01:10But it doesn't make any-
01:11Hey, fellas!
01:13You know what I just got on the grapevine?
01:15Grapes.
01:16Now, look.
01:17Don't crack that I gave it.
01:18But you're getting out.
01:19What's the matter?
01:20Am I the only guy in the army who can peel potatoes?
01:21You don't get it.
01:23You're getting a free ride home.
01:24Your discharges just came through.
01:26Say that again and spell it out.
01:28D-I-S-
01:29That's enough.
01:29Don't tax your brain.
01:31Back to the babes.
01:32Real ones.
01:33No pictures.
01:34Back to the states.
01:34Back to cities.
01:35Pappy, you know what this means?
01:36I'm leaving the army.
01:37I'm leaving all these Kilroy gags.
01:39I'm just a plain guy.
01:41No more ribs.
01:42No more army chow.
01:43No more GI beds.
01:45Boy, I'm gonna buy me a mattress about nine feet thick.
01:48And I'm gonna dive right into the middle of it.
01:51And I'm gonna go to sleep.
01:52And sleep for about 200 years.
01:55What a day.
01:56Just sleep and sleep and sleep.
02:03Johnny boy, it's sure great to have you back.
02:05Huh, fellas?
02:06Yeah, sure is.
02:07Well, it's good to be back, too.
02:08Say, Johnny, be nice to this hack, will ya?
02:10It had motherly care while you was gone.
02:12Are you kidding?
02:12No.
02:13My old lady used to drive it on the day shift.
02:17Hey, fellas.
02:17Remember that big box of food you sent us?
02:19Yeah, yeah.
02:20Made us the most popular guys in camp.
02:22Uh-oh.
02:24Thanks for the letters, too, guys.
02:27Is old Slewfoot still sneaking around these days?
02:30Remember when he used to catch Pappy asleep under the cabs?
02:34Hey, Pappy.
02:35Wake up.
02:35You can't sleep, hear?
02:37Get out from under there!
02:40Airway!
02:40Run for cover!
02:43So, it's old Slewfoot now, eh?
02:45Why, for two cents a...
02:46Wait a minute, boss!
02:48Please, Johnny.
02:49Are you trying to get us in trouble?
02:54I can't get away with this!
02:57You're fired, both of you!
02:58Now get out!
02:59And if you're not out in...
03:00And if you're not out in...
03:00What's up?
03:00That's what my heart is coming down.
03:00And I'm...
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