00:00I really appreciate you guys coming to this new hour of material
00:02because I know it's a lot of God stuff and a lot of gay stuff
00:05and my agents are nervous.
00:09I started doing stand-up in churches.
00:11They called to testimony, but I was getting laughed.
00:15Easter's a better story than Christmas, in my opinion.
00:17It's where all of our merch is from.
00:19You've seen it.
00:20Christmas is not as good a story.
00:22It's just a long walk to a barn.
00:25Jesus is barely in it.
00:26He comes in right at the end.
00:28He does zero magic.
00:29Jesus is basically the post-credits scene in a Marvel movie.
00:34It's trash.
00:36If you have depression, you have a pretty complicated relationship with death.
00:41You sort of look at death like it's the Phantom of the Opera.
00:43You're like, oh, that's scary.
00:45But then sometimes you're like, I mean, that side of his face is kind of hot.
00:49Coming out as bisexual at 30 feels like saying to a waiter,
00:52by the way, it's my birthday.
00:54They're like, cool, sing to yourself.
00:56You're a grown woman.
00:58I started dating this girl who was so hot.
01:01I was like, oh my God.
01:03Am I Pete Davidson?
01:09When I started dating women,
01:11it was the closest I'd come to feeling religious in a long time.
01:13My friends would complain about their boyfriends and husbands.
01:16And I was like, have you heard the good news?
01:22You don't have to live like this.
01:24You don't have to live like this.
01:24No?
01:26No?
01:27No?
01:31No?
01:32No?
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