00:00I said I'd end the war in 24 hours.
00:02Here we are.
00:04But it's been almost a year.
00:06Exactly.
00:06Right on schedule.
00:08Perfect timing.
00:11Now let's make a deal.
00:13Me first.
00:14Putin, you invader.
00:16Apologize to Ukraine.
00:17Admit it.
00:18You're a war criminal.
00:20Apologize.
00:21Vladimir, you're even funnier now
00:23than back in your comedy days.
00:25What are you laughing at?
00:26We demand fairness.
00:27Tell me more about this fairness, little clown.
00:31This isn't a comedy routine.
00:33You think brute force takes it all?
00:35No.
00:36Trump, he hit me.
00:39Putin, what a punch.
00:41Real tough love.
00:42You're a comedian talking about fairness
00:45with two guys sitting on thousands of nukes.
00:47You naive fool.
00:49Hey, Trump, help me.
00:51I'd love to.
00:52But Vladimir, he's got bigger tanks.
00:54I'll take the east, the south and the coast.
00:57And you, you get the debt.
01:00No!
01:02Wee.
01:02Wee.
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