- 19 minutes ago
Scary Movie - FULL MOVIE ✅ [Eng Sub]
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00:00:29This video is brought to you by the
00:00:30Wait, what's wrong girls if it did you it's class
00:00:48Hey girl, want some brown liquor? Brown liquor don't make this pussy, but tequila it
00:00:54What is it? Amiga?
00:01:00Viva la Rivera Lucia! Now that shit right there make your pussy pop away
00:01:04Yes, Sam! So what are you doing here anyway?
00:01:07What do you think I'm doing here? I'm starting to open it too
00:01:11Been there, done that!
00:01:13Hang on the phone! Hang on the phone!
00:01:16Richie? Tiana, hey, I thought it'd be easier for the audience if they didn't have to make more texts
00:01:21Yeah, that makes sense, cause you know these motherfuckers can't read
00:01:24I know, who goes to see your way is responsible
00:01:27Well, it's nice to phone meet you in a super awkward way
00:01:31Likewise, but I gotta be honest when I seen your profile make a bitch almost swipe left
00:01:36Cause you look that goofy
00:01:38But surprisingly, you know, those goofy niggas got a big dick, so here we are
00:01:42I'll take you for a jersey girl
00:01:43A jersey girl? Listen, I love jerseys, yeah, but I'm a Harlem girl
00:01:48Born and motherfucking raised, real niggas only, yeah
00:01:51Oh, so you're black
00:01:55No motherfuckers, I'm black!
00:01:58All cats, no cats, but cats
00:02:02Fuck all y'all!
00:02:05Bitch, strip them pearls back up!
00:02:08Like, want your shit?
00:02:11Hello?
00:02:12So tell me, what's your favorite scary movie?
00:02:15Mmm, I don't really do
00:02:17You know, all the stupid tropes and shit
00:02:18Why is it always the white bitch at the end?
00:02:20Cause they know it's too hard to kill a sister
00:02:22You know what I'm saying? Cause if the sister can survive government cheese, we can survive anything
00:02:28You know, it might help if you met you outside
00:02:31Met you outside? Boy, you're this neat neat
00:02:34What's your side? You must be a Scorpio
00:02:35How'd you know?
00:02:37Good dick though, but toxic is it
00:02:39Hey, you so press find your alley?
00:02:41Yes, hurry, play the wall of your ass
00:02:43Where all did?
00:02:44Ah, not today
00:02:45Shit, bitch
00:02:46Heard you all
00:02:47Okay, I'm coming down the alley now
00:02:50I'm here, can you see me?
00:02:51I'm waving
00:02:53No
00:02:54The person I'm looking at is not waving
00:02:57In fact, they're just staring at me
00:02:58Well, staring at his ass back
00:03:00And don't blink
00:03:01Never blink
00:03:02You've got to scratch the lips and feel like what?
00:03:04No, they're walking towards me now
00:03:06Oh my, oh god, they haven't died
00:03:08Why don't they leave his ass over here?
00:03:10But that's not the worst part
00:03:12The worst part is
00:03:14You know so much about horror movies
00:03:17And yet you still walk into the alley
00:03:19Alone
00:03:21Yeah, but the worst part is
00:03:23You fucking woulda New York, bitch
00:03:26Cuckoo!
00:03:26Yeah?
00:03:28Bye-bye
00:03:43Damn!
00:03:44Keep on some of the ninja shit!
00:03:59Seriously, lad?
00:04:00I ain't recognize your bird call, but I thought you was on war work.
00:04:03Ooh, that's a pigeon, nigger.
00:04:05It's supposed to be a hawk super needed attack.
00:04:10My bad.
00:04:11What the hell?
00:04:18Bitch, I'm Teyana Taylor.
00:04:19My abs got ass.
00:04:21Get him!
00:04:22Help!
00:04:26Help!
00:04:27Help!
00:04:29Help!
00:04:32Somebody help me!
00:04:34You hurt!
00:04:35No, no, no!
00:04:36Oh!
00:04:43Now, get your horn and ass off.
00:04:45Welcome to the Rock Sucker.
00:04:48Hey, Teyana.
00:04:49You might have kicked my ass, but you still didn't win that Oscar.
00:04:53What'd you say about my Oscar?
00:04:55Did I stutter?
00:04:57You lost.
00:04:58You're right.
00:05:00Not when I go to the globe, bitch.
00:05:02Oh my god, really?
00:05:04So that's why I never watched a horror movie.
00:05:06It's fucking terrible.
00:05:07Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags.
00:05:11So, you don't like parodies?
00:05:12I'm more into Jed Akatow films.
00:05:14You know, elevated comedy.
00:05:17And what is elevated comedy?
00:05:20The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh, but makes white people feel smart.
00:05:26Tuesday?
00:05:26Don't answer that.
00:05:27That'd be Ghostface.
00:05:28Oh, come on, Elle.
00:05:31Stuff like that only happens in the middle of these scenes.
00:05:35Oh, Dave.
00:05:37I wasn't expecting you to answer the door.
00:05:39What the fuck?
00:05:41Now, where's my knife?
00:05:43Up there it is.
00:05:46Hello, Tuesdays.
00:05:59Hey, Miss.
00:06:01Hey.
00:06:02What'd you take?
00:06:06Just a riddle.
00:06:08I'm sorry.
00:06:10I'm sorry.
00:06:11I'm sorry.
00:06:11I'm sorry.
00:06:11You're still calling me.
00:06:12I'm sorry.
00:06:12All right.
00:06:13Hey, miss. What'd you take?
00:06:17Just Ritalin for my ADHD. Adderall for PTSD. A couple of Xanax for my anxiety.
00:06:23And your voter pills. So good luck getting it up there.
00:06:28Jesus, Sarah, how many did you take?
00:06:31I don't know. How many come in a bottle?
00:06:35Hey, Jeff.
00:06:36Sarah, who's guest in the hospital? She was stabbed by a killer. You know, ghost face.
00:06:41Wait, from Rutan?
00:06:43Why would Ghostface Killer, aka Pretty Tony, aka Starkie Love, and stab my sister?
00:06:48God, Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface Killer. It was somebody in a Ghostface mask.
00:06:52Oh, okay, that makes more sense.
00:07:01I ate the one!
00:07:05Jesus, Jack!
00:07:06What? I was thinking about wearing this for Halloween.
00:07:09My strange flat chested hot sister was nearly killed by a psycho and a ghost mask.
00:07:14Gotta go see her.
00:07:16They don't make up for the past.
00:07:18Well, hey, hey, hey.
00:07:19I'm going with you.
00:07:21Not because I'm the obvious killer trying to lure you back to your hometown.
00:07:24I'm just a supportive boyfriend.
00:07:26What?
00:07:27That's all.
00:07:29Okay, let's go. Get in the car.
00:07:31Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way.
00:07:34I survived.
00:07:36Oh, thanks to my lucky penny.
00:07:43I survived.
00:07:49Oh, thanks to my lucky penny.
00:07:53My lady said, throw it east to west.
00:07:56Bow, bow, bow, bow.
00:07:57I'm impressed.
00:07:58Booty, I'm down, I'm up down.
00:08:01I'm up.
00:08:04I'm up.
00:08:05Hey, we all.
00:08:05What are you?
00:08:06Come, we all.
00:08:08Mom, come on.
00:08:10Turn off this ratchet-ass music.
00:08:11It's embarrassing, especially for black women.
00:08:14It's not embarrassing.
00:08:15I'm the cool mom.
00:08:16Everybody wish they had.
00:08:17I'm lit.
00:08:18Don't forget, I got practice later, so I'll be home late.
00:08:20You only made the team because you're black.
00:08:22And those racist fucks assumed you could play.
00:08:25It's 2026.
00:08:26I don't think race is an issue.
00:08:29Do you read black Twitter?
00:08:30No.
00:08:32Oh.
00:08:32Ray, are you still dating that hoe?
00:08:34Okay.
00:08:35Stop hoe shaming her.
00:08:37Just because Daryl and them ride a train on her doesn't make her a hoe.
00:08:41She's not the hoe.
00:08:42She's sex positive.
00:08:43Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.
00:08:46Hey, girl.
00:08:47Look at you.
00:08:48Early for Halloween, huh?
00:08:50What you gonna see at?
00:08:51Bloody school, girl.
00:08:52Happy house.
00:08:53Hi, Miss Meeks.
00:08:55I love the hair.
00:08:57I mean, Octavia Spencer.
00:08:59Well, thank you, Ray.
00:09:00I gotta invite you over and make you a little shit pat.
00:09:03Ooh.
00:09:04You know what?
00:09:05I gotta get to African American history class.
00:09:07We're learning about slavery.
00:09:08We're trying to find out.
00:09:10It was a choice.
00:09:11You see that right there?
00:09:12That's Kanye.
00:09:13That's right.
00:09:14They've been teaching us Rome all this time.
00:09:17Mm-hmm.
00:09:17Stay glad.
00:09:19Bye, Ma.
00:09:20All right.
00:09:20Bye, baby.
00:09:21Glad to speak.
00:09:22Bye.
00:09:23Then I put some kindness in your bag.
00:09:25You know what I'm trying to trap y'all?
00:09:27Huh.
00:09:29Okay.
00:09:30Seriously?
00:09:31Sure, Greg.
00:09:32You don't have to walk me to class.
00:09:33I'm fine.
00:09:33Jess, there's a serial killer on the loose.
00:09:36I'm not gonna let anything happen to my baby girl.
00:09:39Boy, okay?
00:09:40I'm a baby boy.
00:09:41I'm sorry.
00:09:42Still having a hard time with this transition.
00:09:44Okay, it's really simple.
00:09:45Treat me like one of the guys.
00:09:48Okay?
00:09:49I can do that.
00:09:51Yeah.
00:09:52Slap fight.
00:09:53Oh, you call that a slap?
00:09:57Who the hell did you do that for?
00:10:00I'm such a bitch.
00:10:03Bitch.
00:10:08You're not good.
00:10:12Who the hell lives like this?
00:10:26Oh, honey.
00:10:27It is so good to see you.
00:10:29Come in.
00:10:30Do you want some tea?
00:10:31Oh, my God, Mother.
00:10:32You look like shit.
00:10:33Oh, honey.
00:10:34Hey, please.
00:10:35This is clearly a woman who's run out of condition.
00:10:37Oh, be careful where you walk.
00:10:38The whole place is booty traps.
00:10:40You never know when that cycle's gonna come back.
00:10:43Come in.
00:10:45Okay.
00:10:55I hate this job.
00:10:59Mr. Campbell, I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend.
00:11:04I've heard so much about you.
00:11:06Uh, none of that good.
00:11:08I've heard nothing about you, Jack.
00:11:10I assume you're a piece of shit.
00:11:12But how would I know when I haven't heard from my daughter in, what, six months?
00:11:17Six years, Mother.
00:11:19And whose fault is that?
00:11:20And whose fault is that?
00:11:22I don't know.
00:11:22Maybe it's yours.
00:11:24That's fair.
00:11:25We want to learn from the horror you survived.
00:11:29Look, scary movie three and four paid me a lot of money for a girl.
00:11:34There is nothing to learn there.
00:11:35But if you want to talk about the house, Bunny, shoot.
00:11:38It's happening again.
00:11:40Some asshole in a mask.
00:11:42We have to stop him.
00:11:44You're not ready, lovebug.
00:11:46I have been preparing for this for years.
00:11:50Sacrificed everything.
00:11:51You are a terrible mother.
00:11:52Come on, honey.
00:11:54We have some good times.
00:11:56Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at the mall.
00:12:07Your turn, Sarah.
00:12:10Move.
00:12:11Hi, Sandra.
00:12:12I'm sorry if I don't sit in here, though.
00:12:16You creep me out.
00:12:25Mom?
00:12:27Dance against me in several hours!
00:12:29Be sure to thank him.
00:12:37That was fun.
00:12:40No, not this.
00:12:42I'm sorry.
00:12:47I am sorry if that's how you found out Santa doesn't exist.
00:12:52Mother, I need your help.
00:12:54To heal our emotional wounds and put the past behind us.
00:12:57Oh, God, no.
00:13:00No, to kill Ghostface.
00:13:02Do you have any guns?
00:13:04I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
00:13:07I've got millions of guns.
00:13:09But, um, none of them are registered due to my mental health issues.
00:13:14So, if you could just keep it on the load.
00:13:17Ah!
00:13:18Oh, okay.
00:13:20Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be fine.
00:13:22I didn't hurt myself on any of these bikes!
00:13:32Oh, hey, so I spoke to Sarah earlier.
00:13:34Oh, is she coming?
00:13:35You know I did hear a buzzing sound.
00:13:37So it's possible.
00:13:38No, I meant to Woodsville.
00:13:40Dumbass.
00:13:41Oh, I forgot that.
00:13:42Hey, Jimbo!
00:13:43Go deep!
00:13:45Oh!
00:13:47Sweet!
00:13:49Speaking of going deep.
00:13:50Uh, I don't know if it's a good time.
00:13:52Everyone knows what happens to teenagers to try to make love when there's a killer on the loose.
00:13:56Brad's right about one thing, guys.
00:13:58Hey, Ghostface is back.
00:13:59We need to arm up.
00:14:00Pepper spray?
00:14:01Check.
00:14:03Taser?
00:14:03Check.
00:14:05Butt plug?
00:14:06Double check.
00:14:08Goddamn!
00:14:09You just carry that thing around?
00:14:11It's easy to hide.
00:14:15In your butt?
00:14:18I'm impressed.
00:14:30What's up, y'all?
00:14:32I'm bad!
00:14:34I did that!
00:14:36Hey, what's up, unk?
00:14:37Unk?
00:14:38I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha niggas using terms like unk and auntie, gaslighting and
00:14:45glazing and glamping, trying to make my generation sound old.
00:14:48I ain't your damn unk, nigga!
00:14:50Shorty, you're our mother's brother, so yeah, technically you are our alpha.
00:14:54What?
00:14:55My bad.
00:14:57Crazy that they let you teach here.
00:15:00Teach?
00:15:00Nah, nigga.
00:15:02I attend.
00:15:03You're looking at a proud 25th year senior.
00:15:07When are you finally going to graduate?
00:15:08By the time we do a sequel and I'm going to follow you little young niggas to college
00:15:12to get my chair.
00:15:13Wait, guys, Tuesday's awake.
00:15:14Alright!
00:15:15Tuesday!
00:15:15Who the fuck is Tuesday?
00:15:16Hey, we gotta go to the hospital.
00:15:18You gonna take the bus off?
00:15:19Nah!
00:15:20The PJ.
00:15:21Private jet?
00:15:22Yeah, jealous.
00:15:24Man, you smoke weed all day.
00:15:26Just play video games, live stream.
00:15:28You literally got money doing nothing.
00:15:29Exactly.
00:15:31I leave the hard work for the old head.
00:15:33Ha!
00:15:33Shit!
00:15:35Still the same short.
00:15:37Alright.
00:15:38Check my crypto.
00:15:40Oh, shit!
00:15:40I'm up three million dollars!
00:15:42Ha!
00:15:43Damn!
00:15:44Damn!
00:15:44Damn!
00:15:45Five million!
00:15:46This shit, we're crazy.
00:15:47Son?
00:15:49And whoever ?
00:15:50This?
00:15:52Huh?
00:15:55What's the hell?
00:15:56What the hell?
00:15:58I don't know.
00:15:59I don't know.
00:16:00I'm doing a job.
00:16:01I don't know.
00:16:02I don't know it.
00:16:04I don't know what you're doing.
00:16:04I don't know.
00:16:06I don't know.
00:16:07I don't know.
00:16:11I don't know.
00:16:12You don't know.
00:16:12I'm going to let it shine.
00:16:15It's still alive.
00:16:19I'm going to let it shine.
00:16:22Ray!
00:16:23Sister Bringer, it's okay.
00:16:25You heard to call us in. Yes, you did.
00:16:27But the Lord has called on us to show men such like you to bring.
00:16:31Come on, son. Come with us.
00:16:34Come on us.
00:16:36God, see you coming.
00:16:37So don't cheat that girl.
00:16:38We need you to come like you never came before.
00:16:43Come for the Father. Come for the Son.
00:16:45I'm going to hold your hand and we're going to come together.
00:16:51Amen.
00:16:54In the name of God, let it go, Ray.
00:16:57Let it go.
00:16:59Come here, girl.
00:17:00Oh, my bad.
00:17:03Last time.
00:17:06Let's welcome a new member to our congregation.
00:17:11Let the people know how you feel.
00:17:18I'm not gay no more.
00:17:24Yes, sir.
00:17:25I'm not gay no more.
00:17:27I'm not gay no more.
00:17:29You're not gay no more.
00:17:31I'm gay no more.
00:17:33I'm no longer gay no more.
00:17:35Even if he sets his hair with a big old chest as his and perky areolas.
00:17:39I'm here. He's still got a secret.
00:17:41I'm no longer carry a purse, put on makeup, walk around in high heels.
00:17:46Red bow.
00:17:48One with a kiss of the butt on the side.
00:17:50This is not cute.
00:17:51I'm no longer going blander and swipe right at black men.
00:17:56White men.
00:17:58Asian men.
00:17:59You want to grab this?
00:18:00I'm no longer taking trips to the Philippines.
00:18:02Looking for ladyboys.
00:18:04To Phuket.
00:18:05Kota Mui.
00:18:06Back to Phuket.
00:18:07Then to Vietnam and see if I can get them any cheaper.
00:18:09I thought that was my anniversary, Ray.
00:18:12Oh, this nigga got a lot in my house.
00:18:14I'm no longer staying punk naked in the mirror.
00:18:16With my penis tucked between my legs.
00:18:18Dancing like the dude from Simon to the Lamb.
00:18:21It puts Colossian in the basket, Precious.
00:18:23I'm a changed man.
00:18:25I'm gonna deliver.
00:18:25I will.
00:18:26She ain't running.
00:18:27I will.
00:18:27I said I will.
00:18:29I will.
00:18:30Now, a woman.
00:18:33Women.
00:18:34Don't take that girl anymore.
00:18:36Women.
00:18:37Women.
00:18:37Women.
00:18:38Women.
00:18:39Women.
00:18:39Women.
00:18:41I don't know.
00:18:46I don't know.
00:18:49I don't know.
00:18:50He's a man!
00:18:51He's a man!
00:18:52Go, go, go, go, go!
00:18:55Woah!
00:18:57Hawk tour, Hawk tour, Hawk tour!
00:19:00Are you honking doing it?
00:19:02I can't remember!
00:19:04I can't remember!
00:19:20I can't remember!
00:19:22I can't remember!
00:19:24I can't remember!
00:19:25I can't remember!
00:19:28I can't remember!
00:19:32I can't remember!
00:19:35Oh, my God!
00:19:37Oh, my God!
00:19:37Oh, her face!
00:19:38Look at Jordan!
00:19:39Oh, my God! In the morning!
00:19:42Shhh!
00:19:44Oh, my God!
00:19:47I'm trying to get the help for an hour!
00:19:49I'm trying to get the pain!
00:19:54It's not...
00:19:54It's not more pain!
00:19:56Oh, bitches!
00:19:59Yeah!
00:20:00Oh, yeah!
00:20:02Oh, this is that good, good!
00:20:05This is that Britney Spears shit!
00:20:07Makes me wanna get half naked, dance around, and juggle some knives!
00:20:11Sarah!
00:20:12Who's that Jeffrey Dollar look like?
00:20:15This is my boyfriend, Jack!
00:20:17Really nice to meet you!
00:20:19Looks like Ted Bunda to me!
00:20:21But that ain't none of my business!
00:20:26This little stabbed-up bitch here needs some rest!
00:20:28So y'all, get the fuck out!
00:20:30Yes, ma'am!
00:20:33Oh, not you, Sarah!
00:20:34Why?
00:20:35What did I do?
00:20:37I'm so scared!
00:20:40Oh, twos!
00:20:41You should be!
00:20:43You've been stabbed nine times!
00:20:46And the killer knows where you live!
00:20:48I would invite you to come to stay at my place, but I don't really want that kind of juju
00:20:52in my house!
00:20:54For all we know, he's standing right outside that door!
00:21:03It's comforting, Sarah!
00:21:05I thought I was gonna die!
00:21:06I know, me too!
00:21:08I planned your funeral!
00:21:11What the hell?
00:21:12And I wrote your obituary!
00:21:14More like Chat 2T wrote it!
00:21:16But you're still here, and I will never let anyone hurt you!
00:21:21Oh, he's gone!
00:21:23Oh, shit!
00:21:24Ah!
00:21:26Get off me!
00:21:28Help!
00:21:30This white girl can die on my ship!
00:21:32I'm a DEI!
00:21:34Oh, my God!
00:21:34I'm gonna use fire!
00:21:36Let me go!
00:21:36No, no, I'm good!
00:21:38You're good!
00:21:38Clear!
00:21:40Again!
00:21:41Come on, my bitch!
00:21:42I need this job!
00:21:43Clear!
00:21:43It's not working!
00:21:45Oh, we're losing!
00:21:53Oh, boy!
00:21:55Looked like there ain't nothing left with forts, cramps, and pork rinds!
00:21:59Dear Lord!
00:22:00They're threatened!
00:22:01Check out the wire!
00:22:03The wire was the shit, baby!
00:22:05That's my show, Frogs, and that Idris Alba!
00:22:07Make this Gucci wanna pop, pop, pop!
00:22:09Dear Lord!
00:22:10Please!
00:22:12Accept this white bitchin'
00:22:14No!
00:22:15The Lord works in mysterious ways!
00:22:18I'm goin' over it!
00:22:20Cheers!
00:22:21I will never let anyone hurt you!
00:22:24Again!
00:22:29Ooh!
00:22:30My bad!
00:22:35Mommy, is she?
00:22:42I'm so sorry.
00:22:44Hello, Sarah!
00:22:46Who is this?
00:22:48Someone who knows your little secret!
00:22:52No, no, no, no, no, I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute!
00:22:54Okay?
00:22:55I won Prom Queen!
00:22:56And I was throwing my heart to the crowd!
00:22:58No!
00:22:59I'm talking about your damn little secret!
00:23:03Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my stomach!
00:23:06sister I had to get you to come back here listen if you want to fuck with me
00:23:11asshole then come and get
00:23:28bitch this is the break room we don't break
00:23:45please save me I've been saving people all day so you handle yours I'll be right or here eating my
00:23:54falafel and my pork rinds
00:23:56I look like your mama
00:23:58I am now
00:24:01break's over
00:24:09you're welcome
00:24:13it really looks like you got hit with something hard like metal I told you I fell now where exactly
00:24:20are we going to talk to an expert
00:24:35go away
00:24:36I'm so sorry I'd bother you we just we just want to ask you a few questions
00:24:40give me what kind of days why I should talk to you
00:24:43I'm white
00:24:44how white
00:24:45oh I'm talking Candace Owens white
00:24:48oh
00:24:49fix it
00:24:50when you said expert I assumed you're not more like you need to grass tyson
00:24:54I'm Sarah Campbell
00:24:55I was attacked last night
00:24:57I think you should leave
00:24:58I don't want to get stabbed and I don't want COVID
00:25:00please come on just two minutes
00:25:02that's all I'm asking
00:25:03no no
00:25:04I'll give you eight minutes
00:25:07and another thing
00:25:09oh I can tell you to go
00:25:11oh my gosh
00:25:13oh my gosh
00:25:13oh my gosh
00:25:15oh my gosh
00:25:16now you guys are good
00:25:17when did the work week become the woke week
00:25:19we've got black frotty what's next
00:25:21mulatto monday
00:25:22I mean yellow thursday
00:25:25come on
00:25:29let me get this
00:25:30I'm your way
00:25:31oh
00:25:36yep
00:25:37you're good
00:25:39you're Cindy's daughter right
00:25:41yeah
00:25:42yeah
00:25:43I don't know him
00:25:44oh this is Jack
00:25:45my love interest
00:25:46no
00:25:47no no no
00:25:48rule number one
00:25:49of surviving a horror movie
00:25:51is
00:25:51never trust
00:25:53love interest
00:25:54look at him
00:25:55he's got that
00:25:56weird lazy eye
00:25:58poking one way
00:25:59and he's truly like a psychopath
00:26:01he's got that stump leg
00:26:03makes him all walk weird and creepy
00:26:06I don't have a stump
00:26:08look at that guy he does
00:26:09oh
00:26:10come looking at me
00:26:13let's just show up to Doofy
00:26:15be tired
00:26:16listen Doofy
00:26:17we could really use your help
00:26:19no
00:26:20I can't go back to that light
00:26:21plus
00:26:22we're in the middle of a global pandemic
00:26:24okay
00:26:24I hate to break it too
00:26:25but COVID has been over for like years
00:26:29really
00:26:30yeah
00:26:34damn it
00:26:36what am I going to do with all this canned meat
00:26:40get out
00:26:41I don't want to go see society
00:26:42and don't come back
00:27:07okay just because he showered doesn't mean that
00:27:10yeah I can shower I just take water from my mouth
00:27:13you want some
00:27:14no that's okay
00:27:15okay
00:27:16come on Doofy
00:27:17yeah
00:27:17do it
00:27:18Sarah
00:27:18is your giveo-ass mom coming
00:27:20or can we start talking about this plot
00:27:22uh
00:27:25hi
00:27:27you came
00:27:28not in like 15 years honey
00:27:30but I did buy this
00:27:32new rose
00:27:33fingers crossed
00:27:38oh
00:27:40oh
00:27:40oh
00:27:41oh my old friend
00:27:43you taught me how to dance
00:27:45how to make a high and work pie
00:27:48nigga I'm writing back to you
00:27:50sweet
00:27:51what's up Sandy
00:27:53how you doing
00:27:54I'm nigga
00:27:55oh
00:27:56shit
00:27:57son
00:27:57I can't believe you thought I was dead
00:28:01well between cancer from the weed smoke
00:28:04your love of the McRib and racist cops
00:28:06I didn't think you were a champ
00:28:08yeah that's a trip coming
00:28:10hi
00:28:11son
00:28:11stop smiling at me
00:28:14oh
00:28:15shit
00:28:16world star
00:28:17world star
00:28:18world star
00:28:19hey
00:28:20he's intellectually disabled
00:28:22that's just how he looks
00:28:23you drunk honky
00:28:24hey hey hey
00:28:25don't call that white bitch a honky
00:28:26come on have some respect
00:28:28I keep seeing people smiling everywhere
00:28:31I'm not very likable
00:28:32so
00:28:33it must be some kind of curse
00:28:35hey everybody
00:28:36look what I got
00:28:38non-branded gelatin shop
00:28:40made with great alcohol
00:28:41and GHB
00:28:42so ain't nobody sipping that name
00:28:44can send to like a long time
00:28:45which I apologize
00:28:46take one
00:28:47I love ruffian myself
00:28:49no
00:28:50you sure baby
00:28:51hi Brenda
00:28:51please do not call me by my government name
00:28:54call me mom
00:28:57Cindy
00:28:57you dropped the train
00:29:01oh my god Cindy
00:29:02I haven't seen you in forever
00:29:04I got it
00:29:05look at you
00:29:06you look the same
00:29:07minus the crow's feet
00:29:09and your hair is so dry
00:29:11oh and your titties dropped
00:29:13so far
00:29:14other than that
00:29:15you look the exact same
00:29:17wouldn't you been up to
00:29:19hell you know
00:29:20neglecting my children
00:29:21so I can prepare to kill ghost fish
00:29:23should he ever return
00:29:24what about you
00:29:25well
00:29:26I've been mostly just getting
00:29:27high school kids drunk
00:29:28in a desperate attempt
00:29:29to stay young
00:29:30and keep my kids at home
00:29:31I always knew you'd be a great mom
00:29:32oh Cindy
00:29:34should we hug
00:29:35oh I really want to
00:29:36but I'm a republican now
00:29:38so I'm supposed to be racist
00:29:39oh girl
00:29:40I think all white people
00:29:41are racist anyway
00:29:42come here
00:29:42okay
00:29:43oh
00:29:45do we show up
00:29:46oh yeah
00:29:47yeah
00:29:48you know mom
00:29:49this place could be so cool
00:29:51if you had like a
00:29:52a beer pong table over there
00:29:54maybe like a snack wall
00:29:55what you know about cool
00:29:56when I was your age
00:29:57I was popping bottles
00:29:58with Puffy
00:29:58Puff Daddy
00:29:59P-Diddy
00:30:00Diddy
00:30:01all the showers
00:30:03that ain't as well
00:30:04your mama was the freak
00:30:05in the freak-offs
00:30:08you wanna see something cool
00:30:09I'm gonna show you something cool
00:30:19that's cool
00:30:20what are you doing
00:30:21what
00:30:22no not like that
00:30:26I don't know why y'all
00:30:27after those girls
00:30:28the gun ain't even low
00:30:30oh shit
00:30:31oh shit
00:30:34uh oh
00:30:35I did it again
00:30:38I always forget that last one
00:30:40in the table
00:30:41help me move this file
00:30:42yeah you got it
00:30:43yeah it was fine
00:30:44oh
00:30:45so can you do it after this
00:30:47I'm going to go to
00:30:48oh I love having
00:30:50you know what
00:30:51I used to put cocaine
00:30:53and it's my hoo-haing
00:30:53down there all the time
00:30:56yeah
00:30:56mmm
00:30:59I didn't want to
00:31:01see you in the office
00:31:02I don't know
00:31:05alright
00:31:06let's get back to the plot
00:31:08I'm looking at you
00:31:09Ted Bundy
00:31:09looking like a school shooter
00:31:11I think you the killer
00:31:12oh me
00:31:13okay
00:31:13what about Deputy Doofy
00:31:15over there
00:31:15I don't have a vote
00:31:16yeah what's my vote
00:31:18you were the killer
00:31:19in the first movie
00:31:20shouldn't you be locked up
00:31:22no I got pardoned
00:31:23mostly because of the
00:31:24storming the capital
00:31:26you know
00:31:26oh
00:31:27I got proof
00:31:28it's me
00:31:29oh
00:31:29in Spain
00:31:30that's a cool hit
00:31:31what about Jess
00:31:34what about me
00:31:35if anybody here has
00:31:36issues that could lead to
00:31:38murder
00:31:38okay
00:31:39trans shaming
00:31:40is not cool
00:31:41okay
00:31:42then he's just a dude
00:31:43yeah
00:31:44finest stuff for body strength
00:31:45and the dick part
00:31:47hey
00:31:47you don't know
00:31:48what I got down here
00:31:49okay
00:31:49I do
00:31:50hey
00:31:50listen
00:31:51what we know so far
00:31:53is everyone who's been
00:31:54attacked
00:31:54is related to the
00:31:56original characters
00:31:57who wants to kill the king
00:31:59ha
00:31:59he's making
00:32:00a reboot
00:32:01a quote
00:32:02a what now
00:32:03yep
00:32:04it's like a reboot
00:32:04in a sequel
00:32:05mixes legacy characters
00:32:07with new characters
00:32:08in an attempt to feed
00:32:09into bullshit nostalgia
00:32:11and bring more fans
00:32:12to the theaters
00:32:12just like last year's
00:32:13I Know What You Did Last Summer
00:32:17that's a movie
00:32:17what did I do last summer
00:32:19I think you're talking
00:32:20about the summer
00:32:21I turned pretty
00:32:21yeah
00:32:22Ray
00:32:22when did you get here
00:32:24a lot done here
00:32:24I was just hanging out
00:32:25by the minimum
00:32:27oh
00:32:28okay
00:32:28so that means that
00:32:30our killer is writing
00:32:31his own version
00:32:32of horror movie
00:32:33okay
00:32:34so according to
00:32:35the reboot he called
00:32:36rules
00:32:36who's the killer
00:32:39I think it's pretty obvious
00:32:44who
00:32:45you bitch
00:32:46me
00:32:47guys
00:32:48I am not the killer
00:32:49ghostface attacked
00:32:50Tuesday to lure me
00:32:51back here
00:32:52I think he attacked
00:32:53Tuesday to get you
00:32:54back here
00:32:55so he can get
00:32:56me back here
00:32:57he wants to kill
00:32:59the OGs
00:33:00that was a flex
00:33:01yeah
00:33:02that sounds
00:33:03funny
00:33:03fuck it
00:33:04and fuck you
00:33:05mother
00:33:06to your mother
00:33:08hey
00:33:09don't be so
00:33:10disrespectful
00:33:12and call me mom
00:33:13or mommy
00:33:14or whatever is more
00:33:16comfortable
00:33:18oh
00:33:19Christ
00:33:20that means you're a lot
00:33:22so I can't
00:33:22but we're supposed to go
00:33:23right now
00:33:23we have
00:33:24to close
00:33:25the other
00:33:25yes
00:33:26have awesome
00:33:27water
00:33:27we're not
00:33:27comfortable
00:33:28it's all right
00:33:29I need more
00:33:37talk to me
00:33:38hello
00:33:39sheriff
00:33:40ancient underwood
00:33:41I'll give you
00:33:42one hint
00:33:44what's your
00:33:44favorite scary movie
00:33:46well
00:33:46I'm gonna go
00:33:47with saltburn
00:33:48I mean
00:33:48the member
00:33:49on that
00:33:49English guy
00:33:50was terrifying
00:33:51and Ken Jeong's
00:33:52junk and the hangover
00:33:53was a much better
00:33:54depiction
00:33:54of the male anatomy
00:33:56now what do you
00:33:57want
00:33:57fuck face
00:33:58well I'm just
00:33:58calling to tell you
00:33:59that by the time
00:34:00you get home
00:34:01I'll have
00:34:02got it
00:34:02your baby girl
00:34:03a asshole
00:34:05she's a boy
00:34:06a asshole
00:34:08she's a boy
00:34:09aah
00:34:09aah
00:34:12aah
00:34:13aah
00:34:13aah
00:34:14aah
00:34:15aah
00:34:16aah
00:34:16aah
00:34:16aah
00:34:17aah
00:34:18aah
00:34:18aah
00:34:19aah
00:34:26aah
00:34:32looking for this
00:34:33I'm gonna help you
00:34:36I got your baby dick
00:34:39winky winky winky winky
00:34:50winky
00:34:52what do you want
00:34:53fuck face
00:34:54like father
00:34:56like
00:34:56son
00:34:57I understand
00:35:00your
00:35:00well
00:35:01dad's out
00:35:02but
00:35:02the pool guy
00:35:03the gardener
00:35:04and the plumber
00:35:05are all
00:35:06here
00:35:06asshole
00:35:07look out
00:35:08your window
00:35:13no
00:35:14but they're the backbone
00:35:15of the american
00:35:16work force
00:35:17and I'm too white
00:35:18to do those jobs
00:35:19let's cut to the chase
00:35:21I'll ask you one
00:35:22question
00:35:23if you answer
00:35:24correctly
00:35:25you live
00:35:26who
00:35:27was the killer
00:35:28in horror movie
00:35:30oh
00:35:30that was easy
00:35:31it was uh
00:35:32bobby and then k-ray
00:35:33the guy who was
00:35:34totally into dudes
00:35:35even though he claimed he wasn't
00:35:37classic 2000s homophobia
00:35:38but I got you bitch
00:35:40wrong
00:35:41you forgot special officer doofy
00:35:43now
00:35:44you die
00:35:56you should probably
00:35:59answer that
00:36:00I can literally
00:36:01see you
00:36:01trying to steal my package
00:36:04oh shit
00:36:06that was easy
00:36:10uh
00:36:11someone orders fakes
00:36:13skull puff
00:36:17wait a sec
00:36:18careful
00:36:19you wouldn't want to
00:36:20fight any killer
00:36:21you are about to
00:36:24identify as
00:36:25gay
00:36:27look
00:36:27you
00:36:29stand like
00:36:31a girl
00:36:40come on girl
00:36:41it's a girl
00:36:42please shut so
00:36:43rapid most
00:36:44face
00:36:44camera collection
00:36:45bundle
00:36:46this is kiki west
00:36:47for only fans
00:36:47rapid news
00:36:48rapid news
00:36:49you mean
00:36:49rapid news
00:36:50you don't even
00:36:51have a cameraman
00:36:52but it's open
00:36:55excuse me
00:36:58oh my
00:36:59you're
00:36:59yes yes
00:37:00three time
00:37:01emmy nominee
00:37:02for outstanding achievement
00:37:03and sensational reporting
00:37:05I was gonna say
00:37:06the lady from friends
00:37:07but shorter
00:37:08plus botox
00:37:10is that what you're gonna say
00:37:12you seriously don't know
00:37:13who I am
00:37:14baby girl
00:37:15I am
00:37:15gail flowers
00:37:16hey
00:37:17hail storm
00:37:18gail
00:37:19get the hell out of my way
00:37:26doofus
00:37:26hey
00:37:28gail
00:37:30you're amazed
00:37:31today
00:37:31you've made like a million days
00:37:33that's this many
00:37:34why
00:37:35yeah your fingers felt like genitals
00:37:36what are you doing in that ridiculous uniform
00:37:39I'm back on the case
00:37:41yeah I'm gonna bust ghost face
00:37:42well um
00:37:43tell me
00:37:44special needs officer doofy
00:37:46um
00:37:48are there any suspects in this
00:37:50tragic and completely predictable incident
00:37:52I could not let's say
00:37:54no no
00:37:55yes you can
00:37:57I did not
00:37:57yeah
00:37:58oh
00:37:58oh
00:38:00oh
00:38:01oh
00:38:02oh
00:38:02oh
00:38:02hey
00:38:04remember when we used to give blowjobs
00:38:06to presentative information
00:38:07I don't give blowjobs anymore
00:38:10okay
00:38:10not since me too
00:38:11okay
00:38:12sorry
00:38:12I give handjobs now
00:38:14but the story better be good
00:38:15okay
00:38:16I'll do a good job
00:38:16let's do it
00:38:17let's do it
00:38:29what the
00:38:38what the
00:38:38I'm gonna get you
00:38:40uncle right there
00:38:41he's gonna get you
00:38:41where
00:38:41you got my outfit
00:38:42you little cruddle
00:38:47maybe we should
00:38:48we'd leave off
00:38:51fuck yeah
00:38:52shit
00:39:03hello
00:39:04shorty
00:39:05you do know that smoking is bad for you
00:39:08well that actually weed ain't bad for you
00:39:10you got vitamin T
00:39:12C and H
00:39:13C B and D
00:39:15what's the matter shorty
00:39:17you look a little
00:39:18antsy
00:39:20maybe because there's a
00:39:21masked serial killer
00:39:23sipping tea in my den
00:39:25sure
00:39:25you're my nigga
00:39:26I mean
00:39:27friend
00:39:28please
00:39:29sing
00:39:29alright
00:39:33do you want to quit smoking
00:39:35look to be honest
00:39:37I tried to quit
00:39:38but my mother said
00:39:39I ain't raising no quitters
00:39:42so I quit quitting
00:39:43we can try it
00:39:44no sis
00:39:44bro
00:39:45I don't care how many copy watches
00:39:47you try and wave in front of my face
00:39:49it ain't gonna work son
00:39:51you can't magnetize me
00:39:53sleep
00:39:57shorty
00:40:00what's that
00:40:01tell me about your
00:40:03mother
00:40:05damn nigga
00:40:06let's start with something light
00:40:08like
00:40:08do you lick ass
00:40:10yes or no
00:40:10the answer's yes
00:40:12so what happened to her shorty
00:40:18she's coming home
00:40:20a car was parked on the side of the road
00:40:23someone was in it
00:40:25and something bad was happening
00:40:31why did you call anyone
00:40:33I couldn't
00:40:34I had warrants
00:40:36you were laughing
00:40:37I started young nigga
00:40:40oh
00:40:41what do you see
00:40:47I see a
00:40:49main explosion of water
00:40:52it was like a civil rights host
00:40:58police said it was a murder-suicide
00:41:02she killed that man
00:41:03when they opened the car door
00:41:05his little body just slid out
00:41:10like the green nigga in shape of water
00:41:13I just didn't want it to be real
00:41:15what don't you want to be real
00:41:18that my mother was a squirter
00:41:20okay
00:41:22okay
00:41:22she's a squirter
00:41:23all the floors in her bedroom was warped
00:41:25I can't move
00:41:27you're paralyzed
00:41:28now
00:41:31sink into the chair
00:41:33no wait
00:41:34sink
00:41:51I'm in a cave
00:41:53hole
00:41:54no
00:41:57here I'm a cave
00:41:58here I play pophole
00:42:02no
00:42:03here I play pophole
00:42:07no
00:42:07here I play pophole
00:42:09I put the ball down so long
00:42:10to run away
00:42:12to run away
00:42:13I can't see you come to me
00:42:15I can't see you come to me
00:42:15oh shit stop
00:42:16I'm so hot
00:42:17I'm still in my mind
00:42:19I can't ever feel my obeying
00:42:23I'm no
00:42:24no
00:42:24problem child
00:42:25oh shit
00:42:26I can't see you come to me
00:42:28now I'm about to get in place
00:42:31you're about to be free
00:42:32now I'm flying
00:42:34time for dining
00:42:36cause I've got the margis
00:42:39oh shit
00:42:40cause I don't need a reason
00:42:42to bang these demons
00:42:44now we can burn for our peace
00:42:47there we go
00:42:48we're gonna cry
00:42:49ah
00:42:50we're gonna be talking
00:42:51we're about to be talking
00:42:53we're gonna be smoking
00:42:55oh
00:42:57ah
00:42:57ah
00:42:58we're gonna be smoking
00:42:59we're gonna be talking
00:43:01we're gonna be smoking
00:43:04we're gonna be smoking
00:43:09ah
00:43:10ah
00:43:11ah
00:43:12that thing was wild
00:43:13I must of been Elon Buska
00:43:30Tuesday? Tuesday?
00:43:37Bobby?
00:43:40Bobby, what the?
00:43:44She's gonna die.
00:43:45Our daughter, Sarah? You're probably right. She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the cut.
00:43:51I'm gonna die.
00:43:53Bobby, you're already dead. This hallucination is a manifestation of my own guilt for being an awful mom.
00:43:59Or it could be the shrooms I just popped.
00:44:02You're gonna die!
00:44:04Bitch, you ain't killing me!
00:44:13You're gonna die.
00:44:16Stop smiling!
00:44:18I can't. Boontocks.
00:44:20Hey!
00:44:21Oh!
00:44:22This is the mental ward. Everyone smiles in here.
00:44:25What?
00:44:26Oh, um, could you point me in the direction of the ICU? Is it that way or that way?
00:44:32Uh, visiting hours are over.
00:44:34Oh, yes, of course.
00:44:37The network wants me to clarify that Black Friday has nothing to do with race.
00:44:42Well, just tell that to my black friend, Benita, who's probably clocking someone over the head of Target as we
00:44:47speak.
00:44:48Right, Benita?
00:44:48Come on!
00:45:05Come on!
00:45:06That's funny.
00:45:06Man, you ain't Micah.
00:45:08Micah got that cherry curl.
00:45:10What is that, son?
00:45:11Is that shit laughing?
00:45:12See, people think it's shit laughing, but it's actually shocking.
00:45:15All your hair look like fondue.
00:45:17It's dirty.
00:45:17Micah's got a monkey.
00:45:19I got a llama.
00:45:21Fuck, Micah.
00:45:23You can't dance, boy.
00:45:24I'll be practicing.
00:45:26Ow!
00:45:33I didn't work.
00:45:34Oh, no.
00:45:35What happened to you?
00:45:37It is this little dog.
00:45:39Hmm.
00:45:40Get to it!
00:45:41Oh, yes!
00:45:42Ow!
00:45:44Ow!
00:45:44Ow!
00:45:45Germain.
00:45:48Coming Juneteenth, only on TV.
00:45:54I'm a boot like that shit.
00:45:58Hello?
00:46:00Fuck this.
00:46:06I'm gonna miss you all.
00:46:11I'm gonna miss you all.
00:46:13Oh, hell no!
00:46:15Thanks, Black.
00:46:15Go back!
00:46:16Thanks, Black.
00:46:17Go back!
00:46:30Jack, did Sarah tell you to come?
00:46:32Oh, yeah.
00:46:34That's why I'm here.
00:46:35Not to murder you or anything like that.
00:46:39Then why are you wearing gloves?
00:46:41Would you believe I am thinking about dressing up as O.J. Simpson for Halloween?
00:46:46But those fit.
00:46:48Look out!
00:46:49Shut up!
00:46:50You're cool, bro.
00:46:51You almost did a thing.
00:46:52I mean, no!
00:46:54You're a child.
00:46:55You're a fool.
00:46:56Okay.
00:46:57Oh, yeah.
00:47:00Oh, yeah.
00:47:02Oh, yeah.
00:47:04Oh, I'm going to get you like a pig.
00:47:24That is so true.
00:47:26What are you going to do?
00:47:27Are we going to have a bacon?
00:47:32I've got to get better writers.
00:47:37Wait until I stick my knife in them.
00:47:46I'm crying over here.
00:47:49Oh, my God.
00:47:50He's going to kill me.
00:47:52He's going to kill me.
00:47:53Oh, my God.
00:47:53I lost his purse.
00:47:57Oh, shit.
00:47:58He's really going to kill me.
00:48:08He's going to kill me.
00:48:40Excuse me.
00:48:41I'm already.
00:48:42Step aside.
00:48:43I can't believe you.
00:48:45Do it.
00:48:46I like doing that.
00:48:48Move.
00:48:50Sorry, you son of a bitch.
00:48:53What the?
00:48:54My psycho mother said ALWAYS KEEP US STRAPED!
00:49:00Go! Go!
00:49:01Let me go keep your mother.
00:49:02I'll keep your mother.
00:49:03Ow! Ow! Ow!
00:49:04That's the pain! The agony!
00:49:07No! That'll make it!
00:49:09Seriously, can you stop trying to win an Oscar?
00:49:12It's a horror movie. It'll never happen.
00:49:14Ask to me more.
00:49:16No! No! No!
00:49:18No! No! No!
00:49:20No! No!
00:49:20No! No!
00:49:23Help me! What the fuck?
00:49:25Let me tell you about it now.
00:49:29Me and you now, ghosty.
00:49:31Who?
00:49:34Get out shield me.
00:49:36Shield me.
00:49:44Die!
00:49:47Die!
00:49:49Die!
00:49:49I smell...
00:49:52My...
00:49:53Finger!
00:49:54Finger!
00:49:55Oh!
00:49:56God!
00:49:56What the fuck was that?!
00:49:58Ugh!
00:49:59My...
00:50:00Ass!
00:50:01Fuck your ass,
00:50:02whores!
00:50:03What ya!
00:50:04Ugh!
00:50:05Look ya!
00:50:06That's my ass!
00:50:07Alright, ugh!
00:50:08Any last words?
00:50:09I go pooping!
00:50:15Oh!
00:50:17Hell no!
00:50:18I ain't cleaning up that shit!
00:50:20I'm on break!
00:50:21Come on!
00:50:22I'm killing nothing, please!
00:50:24Watch yourself!
00:50:27Yo, what's up chat!
00:50:29It's ya boy Shorty!
00:50:30That's right!
00:50:30It's another Halloween-a-thon!
00:50:32And it's another day of me getting paid mad money for doing absolutely nothing!
00:50:37Why you stupid motherfuckin' watching!
00:50:40Hey!
00:50:40They call me dumb!
00:50:41I wanna give a smooth shout out to my sponsor!
00:50:45Angry Orchard Hard Silo!
00:50:49They got mad apples, huh?
00:50:51He has a gun, man.
00:50:53AHH!
00:50:54It's me, freeze!
00:50:56Malice!
00:50:56We'll mark it a genius!
00:50:57This won't be a Halloween-a-thon without a dope guest!
00:51:01He's a legend in the streaming game!
00:51:02Give it up!
00:51:03For Kyle!
00:51:05SIMAAAAAAAAAAA-UN!
00:51:08HEY!
00:51:08HEY!
00:51:10HEY!
00:51:10HEY!
00:51:10HEY!
00:51:11HEY!
00:51:14Let's get serious, what brings you to Jeff?!
00:51:17Your crop tops don't mean a movie!
00:51:19They call me you, you're close to me!
00:51:22Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy ass baby mamas.
00:51:25That's my bad.
00:51:26Speaking of ghosting, somebody wants to talk to you?
00:51:31Hello?
00:51:32What's your favorite scary movie?
00:51:47We breaking the internet, son!
00:51:49What's up, my guy?
00:51:50You got some angry boy, too.
00:51:51Hot side of the ass.
00:51:52That's right.
00:51:53They got mad apples.
00:51:56What's that?
00:51:58No!
00:52:02I'm about to do my favorite thing.
00:52:05Spirit of the world!
00:52:09Noodle case!
00:52:10We're going to go back there with these noodles,
00:52:12and we're going to smack the fuck out you.
00:52:14I mean, you've got to guess who did.
00:52:15It doesn't even make sense.
00:52:17This is a dumb game.
00:52:36You just killed Casenet on the chair.
00:52:41We're making history, son!
00:52:44Money, money, money!
00:53:05Oh, my God.
00:53:11It's about time you guys got here.
00:53:14Now you're going to get it.
00:53:20So that's our suspect.
00:53:22It goes by the name Shorthand.
00:53:25Was the handyman that a house reputed to be haunted in 2001.
00:53:30Is there anything you're not telling me?
00:53:32That your wife hates you?
00:53:33You believe the earth is flat, and you voted for Trump.
00:53:37Great times.
00:53:38Now what?
00:53:38What's the ball for that woman?
00:53:40Huh?
00:53:41I believe Shorthand is the notorious ghost face.
00:53:46What'd that mouth do?
00:53:50You did look pretty sketchy.
00:53:56I got the wrong guy.
00:53:58And you know that because you're sick?
00:54:00No.
00:54:01It says something in the restaurant.
00:54:04I don't know.
00:54:06That guy's black.
00:54:07He's kind of not that black.
00:54:10Like gravy brown.
00:54:15Hit him with your strong hand.
00:54:18Arrest him anyways.
00:54:20Oh, I did something.
00:54:21Right?
00:54:22Turn off your body cams.
00:54:24This hail storm welcome back.
00:54:27Doc, I'm begging you.
00:54:28You got to help me.
00:54:29Younger, these little bitches are killing me out there.
00:54:31They're wearing nothing but a sausage casing and a ring light.
00:54:34Trust me with this withered, decrepit, age-ravaged body,
00:54:39and I will make you whole.
00:54:41One little age white lady special coming right up.
00:54:44Thanks.
00:54:44I'm going to play a quick video on the ins and outs of the procedure,
00:54:47and then we'll get started.
00:54:52Do you wish you weren't so bold and psyche?
00:54:55Do you wish you were younger?
00:54:58Sexier?
00:54:59Fuckable again?
00:55:00One single injection unlocks your DNA, creating a new value.
00:55:07This is the stuff.
00:55:11Doc, this isn't that Buenav Paltrow crap that makes you smell like garbage, is it?
00:55:19I like it.
00:55:36Oh, that's a lot of stuff.
00:55:39Oh, a mask on a mask.
00:55:42Safety first, right, Doc?
00:55:46Oh, no!
00:55:48Oh, no!
00:55:49I got his second thought.
00:55:51I'm going to love and accept myself after I ask.
00:55:54Ah!
00:55:57Fuck you.
00:55:59Fuck you.
00:56:00Oh, no.
00:56:01Oh, no.
00:56:03Oh, no.
00:56:04Oh, no.
00:56:04Oh, no.
00:56:05Oh, no.
00:56:06Oh, no.
00:56:07Oh, no.
00:56:09Oh, no.
00:56:09Oh, no.
00:56:10Oh, no.
00:56:12Oh, no.
00:56:12Oh, no.
00:56:14Oh, no.
00:56:17Oh, no.
00:56:22Oh, no.
00:56:29Oh, no.
00:56:55Oops wrong movie
00:56:59You were thinking it
00:57:01You say white shit to my ass.
00:57:06I feel anything new.
00:57:09I feel anything new.
00:57:13Hey, Sarah.
00:57:17Tuesday, I tried to visit you.
00:57:20I am sorry for everything, especially your name.
00:57:25It was Taco Tuesday.
00:57:26I was super drunk, but I promise you I killed this motherfucker.
00:57:31It's fine. It's really cool.
00:57:32I'm going to take you to the car.
00:57:36I got to sit down on my desk, dumbass.
00:57:38I'm taking twos away from all of this.
00:57:44I tried to run twos, but it follows.
00:57:48Yeah, you're probably expecting a flashback to that movie, but it's too obscure.
00:57:53Yeah, and apply me for it.
00:57:54You have sex with someone, give them an STD,
00:57:56and then they haunt them in the form of their naked grandma.
00:57:58It's like an STD biopic.
00:58:00The killer is taunting me.
00:58:02Why didn't he just kill us?
00:58:04Speak for yourself.
00:58:05What are you waiting for?
00:58:07Oh, no, no, no, sweetie.
00:58:08It's like this.
00:58:11What are you waiting for, huh?
00:58:15What are you waiting for?
00:58:17What are you waiting for?
00:58:20What are you waiting for?
00:58:22I wish you weren't my mother.
00:58:24What are you waiting for?
00:58:26What are you waiting for?
00:58:28Candyman.
00:58:30Candyman.
00:58:32Candyman.
00:58:33You sure, Buffett?
00:58:35Yeah.
00:58:36Keep saying.
00:58:38Candyman.
00:58:40Candyman.
00:58:59What's up?
00:59:00You got that Candyman?
00:59:02I got weed gum.
00:59:04Me?
00:59:04K-dots.
00:59:05Yeah.
00:59:06Shroom chimes.
00:59:07Ah, shit.
00:59:08And what takes you so long to show up?
00:59:10Come on, Clarence.
00:59:11I called you five times, nigga.
00:59:13Show up in three.
00:59:14You ain't even called me on the phone.
00:59:17Lucky I was walking by and hurt y'all through the hole of this wall.
00:59:20Fix that shit.
00:59:21You shut your ass up.
00:59:22Look, you need to go to a proctologist and get your skin looked at.
00:59:26Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work.
00:59:29I look better than this nigga.
00:59:30Maybe on this side.
00:59:31Hey, ain't no time for beating.
00:59:32We about to be high as well.
00:59:34We gonna party, son.
00:59:35Ah!
00:59:39Happy Halloween, y'all.
00:59:41Watch out for your face.
00:59:42That's great.
00:59:43Wake up.
00:59:45Hey.
00:59:46How long is it?
00:59:47Come to dad.
00:59:48You're supposed to be good.
00:59:49You seen your sister?
00:59:51Thanks.
00:59:53Ray, you seen Gay?
00:59:55I can't find her since she went to that protest.
00:59:58No.
01:00:00Ray, let me guess.
01:00:02You are Woody from Toy Story.
01:00:04Nah, wouldn't that ask Gay?
01:00:06Jake Gyllenhaal from Probeck Mountain.
01:00:09I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't.
01:00:14Do you love that movie?
01:00:16Hey, Brenda.
01:00:18Have you seen my big old bag of candy?
01:00:20It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops.
01:00:24It's gonna missin'.
01:00:25No, no, no.
01:00:25It's not missin'.
01:00:26I pass it out to the trick-or-treaters.
01:00:28Brenda.
01:00:29That's mustache.
01:00:49I can't feel my face.
01:00:55I can't feel my face.
01:00:57No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:01:22no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:01:27no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:01:27no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:01:27no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:01:27no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
01:01:39Why is she looking at me?
01:01:43I'm a little just out of here.
01:01:45I'm feared for it.
01:02:04Do you know how many baby seals die from microplastics?
01:02:23My god, he stabbed her!
01:02:26Not her.
01:02:27My porno, are they them?
01:02:28He stabbed them!
01:02:30I'm over 40.
01:02:31How am I supposed to keep up with all of this?
01:02:33He's not wrong.
01:02:34It's Karens like you that keep the patriarchy going with their knees on our necks.
01:02:40Now they're playing the race card?
01:02:42That's enough of her shit.
01:02:44Say a shit, bitch!
01:02:47And to be clear, my real name is Karen!
01:02:52Oh shit, this is too good.
01:02:54Ignore the insults.
01:02:56They don't realize we're gonna help them.
01:02:58Toxic masculinity and mansplaining doesn't help anybody.
01:03:02All of my best, cool and it's toxic!
01:03:05I love women in sports.
01:03:07Just not together.
01:03:08Come here, bitch!
01:03:10I got her!
01:03:11Be next!
01:03:12I ain't ready for this!
01:03:13I got her!
01:03:14Be next!
01:03:15Move!
01:03:15You're so quiet!
01:03:21I'm going mad as here!
01:03:22Hit the park right side your side and lean on the cheek.
01:03:26This shit.
01:03:26This stuff is everything!
01:03:27Fungal Shorty!
01:03:28You something, have ya?
01:03:30Can I ask you something?
01:03:32Yeah, sure!
01:03:34It's about, y'know...
01:03:36How to go down on a girl thing.
01:03:39It's about eating pussy!
01:03:41It's...
01:03:41It's so cringe, but yeah...
01:03:43So maybe if you stop talking like a 14-year-old white girl
01:03:46you can learn something. Alright, so listen up. First thing you gotta do, you gotta spread it to a minute,
01:03:51you gotta open it up, then you wanna use your fingers. Sometimes you can use two, two fingers like that
01:03:57there. Now once you get it all in there now, you gotta use your tongue. You can't be afraid of
01:04:04it. Then lean into it. No, no, no, you're doing it too fast.
01:04:12Listen, you gotta be gentle, you gotta talk to it.
01:04:15Hey, little guy. What are you doing?
01:04:19Burp. It's like burning the blood. All you gotta do, nephew.
01:04:27Do that shit. Got it?
01:04:31Right now, if you wanna learn the gas, that's your mama.
01:04:37Oh, you feel so good.
01:04:41Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
01:04:44Belle, I wanna try something.
01:04:47I thought you said you'd never let me peck you.
01:04:49What? No.
01:04:51Relax. I just wanna taste you.
01:04:56Okay.
01:04:59Dinner time.
01:05:00Oh, yeah.
01:05:02Come here, baby.
01:05:06Careful.
01:05:07My kid is gangster.
01:05:09Oh.
01:05:10Oh.
01:05:11It is gangster.
01:05:12Okay.
01:05:13What's up?
01:05:13You already want some more?
01:05:15Yeah.
01:05:20You feel so much better than Cheryl and them.
01:05:24Get back in there.
01:05:26Yeah.
01:05:27Lick it.
01:05:28Yeah.
01:05:29Lick it.
01:05:30Lick it.
01:05:31Finish her.
01:05:33Oh.
01:05:34Oh, my God.
01:05:39Just like rolling the blood.
01:05:44Oh.
01:05:47Oh.
01:05:48Oh.
01:05:50Oh.
01:05:50Oh.
01:05:52Oh.
01:05:53What the fuck?
01:05:53Hey there.
01:05:54We're here to tell them a Halloween party.
01:05:56You didn't now, did you?
01:05:58We're here to drink.
01:05:59Play bad music.
01:06:00Do some half gay shit.
01:06:02Watch us half gay.
01:06:04Can I help you?
01:06:05If you just invite us in.
01:06:07Why do you need an invitation?
01:06:09Why do you folks show up to parties like everybody all the time with their little nasty-ass
01:06:13catharoas?
01:06:13Land as shit.
01:06:14Y'all better stop using some loudly.
01:06:16Heh heh.
01:06:17And why she got them dirty-ass feet?
01:06:18Look like you was walking around porn sets all day.
01:06:21Got them trailer block toes.
01:06:22Oh, Jesus.
01:06:24I think you're in the wrong place.
01:06:26Y'all playing?
01:06:27No.
01:06:28We believe in music and equality.
01:06:31How about we show y'all?
01:06:33It's okay, Doc.
01:06:35We're moving on up.
01:06:38To the east side.
01:06:40To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
01:06:46We're moving on up.
01:06:47You gentrified the geniuses.
01:06:50Weezy's rolling around in her grave right now.
01:06:52Can't do this to the black national anthem.
01:07:02Boo!
01:07:03Nigga you suck!
01:07:05Boo with y'all ass!
01:07:06Get that bullshit out of here!
01:07:08Get that bullshit out of here!
01:07:09Why don't y'all just go to one of those frat parties where they drink until they blackout
01:07:12and wake up with their booties hurting.
01:07:14Not knowing what someone in the cowboy hat did to them.
01:07:16Yeah!
01:07:17What?
01:07:18Okay.
01:07:19Well.
01:07:20We will leave you guys alone.
01:07:21But we're gonna walk real slow just in case y'all change your minds.
01:07:27Change your minds yet?
01:07:28No.
01:07:29Hell no.
01:07:31How about now?
01:07:32Hell no.
01:07:32No.
01:07:33Yes?
01:07:34Hell no.
01:07:34No.
01:07:35Keep walking!
01:07:36Now get!
01:07:36Let's go!
01:07:37Let's go!
01:07:37There!
01:07:37Come on!
01:07:38White folks are getting weird.
01:07:42Guys I think I have an open window over here.
01:07:45That window's closed.
01:07:46Not for long.
01:07:48Come on!
01:07:48Whoa!
01:07:49Whoa!
01:07:52Whoa!
01:07:54Wicked!
01:07:55Fucking yes!
01:07:58Back!
01:07:59Back!
01:07:59Back!
01:07:59Back!
01:07:59Back!
01:08:00Back!
01:08:00Back!
01:08:01Back!
01:08:03Hey!
01:08:05Tuesday!
01:08:06You came back!
01:08:08Yeah!
01:08:08Left my inhaler.
01:08:10Honestly Tuesday I thought me inhaler was the worst plot device you have in history.
01:08:13That's true.
01:08:14Should've been in faith.
01:08:14But we're here now.
01:08:16So let's make the most of it and wear them white clothes on!
01:08:24Sarah?
01:08:25Hello.
01:08:26Get your sister and get out of there right now.
01:08:29Okay hun?
01:08:29I am a grown ass woman.
01:08:31Mother?
01:08:32I don't have to do anything you tell me to do.
01:08:34That's the house where your second daughter killed those people.
01:08:37Someone wanted to get me there.
01:08:40Which means...
01:08:41Someone wants to get me there.
01:08:43Oh my god!
01:08:44This isn't about you!
01:08:46Why are you going?
01:08:47You're so fucking far away!
01:08:50Wait hold on.
01:08:51Are you tracking my phone?
01:08:53Shh!
01:08:53You're breaking up.
01:08:54Yeah.
01:08:55Shh!
01:09:01Happy birthday!
01:09:09What the fuck?
01:09:11Help!
01:09:13I'm sorry!
01:09:14I thought I was supposed to smoke it!
01:09:18Oh shit!
01:09:19Oh shit!
01:09:20Oh shit!
01:09:20Oh no!
01:09:23Seriously?
01:09:24With the 12 Years a Slave shit?
01:09:26Woah, woah, woah.
01:09:27I didn't see that movie okay?
01:09:29I just found this thing in the shed.
01:09:30Jeez.
01:09:37Come on bro!
01:09:39That's even worse!
01:09:41I didn't mean it that way.
01:09:44Some of my best victims are black.
01:09:49And another brother falls victim to gun violence.
01:09:52Turns out race is still an issue.
01:09:55That's not fair.
01:09:56You know black guys usually die person horror movies.
01:10:02Yeah!
01:10:03This give a whole new meeting at the Dead by Daylight.
01:10:06Ah!
01:10:07Yeah!
01:10:09Ah!
01:10:10Dinks!
01:10:11Oh!
01:10:11Goofy ass!
01:10:13Oh!
01:10:15Oh!
01:10:16Oh!
01:10:17Shorty!
01:10:18Oh!
01:10:20Get him in here!
01:10:21Ah!
01:10:22Ah!
01:10:23That's a bloody ass!
01:10:24You're about to be eyes!
01:10:26Oh!
01:10:27Oh!
01:10:27Oh yeah!
01:10:28Oh yeah!
01:10:29Oh!
01:10:30Oh!
01:10:31Oh!
01:10:32Oh!
01:10:35Oh!
01:10:36Why are you running backwards, sir?
01:10:38Oh no!
01:10:39It's not me!
01:10:40What is wrong with you?
01:10:40Man!
01:10:41Your remote is upside down!
01:10:44Game on, bitches!
01:10:46Oh!
01:10:47Oh!
01:10:49Oh!
01:10:50Oh!
01:10:51Oh!
01:10:53Oh!
01:10:53Black Lives Matter!
01:10:55Not you, Charmy!
01:10:56Oh my...
01:10:57I need you!
01:10:58What's going on?
01:10:59Death!
01:10:59Oh!
01:11:00Thank God you're here!
01:11:01Where were you?
01:11:02Ghostface was just here!
01:11:04I'm just outside getting some fresh air.
01:11:07Stop!
01:11:08One of you...
01:11:09is the killer.
01:11:11Yeah?
01:11:13Why do you have blood in your hands?
01:11:16I...
01:11:17I found Brad outside.
01:11:19She's the killer!
01:11:20I...
01:11:21I...
01:11:21I...
01:11:21I'm not even sex positive!
01:11:25I...
01:11:25I'm a virgin!
01:11:26No way!
01:11:27You're being like every dude in Woodsville!
01:11:29Fuck you!
01:11:32The butt doesn't count!
01:11:37Shit you son-ass!
01:11:39Welcome...
01:11:39to act three, bitches!
01:11:44What?
01:11:46What does that even mean?
01:11:48It's...
01:11:49when the shit goes down.
01:11:51Oh.
01:11:51I still don't really know what she means, but I think we should...
01:11:54I know what the shit goes down.
01:11:55Oh my god!
01:11:55Oh my god!
01:11:56Oh my god!
01:11:56Oh my god!
01:11:56Oh my god!
01:11:56Oh my god!
01:11:57Oh my god!
01:12:10Oh my god!
01:12:11Ricky!
01:12:13Brenda!
01:12:14Ricky, I'm going to have a shoe!
01:12:16This takes a while!
01:12:18I blame it on video games.
01:12:20Not to liquor or lack of parental supervision.
01:12:22You're going to need this.
01:12:23Do you have one figure in black?
01:12:26A raw bag.
01:12:29Who are you, John Wick?
01:12:32I would have said ballerina, but nobody saw that shit.
01:12:35Let's do this.
01:12:36Okay.
01:12:41Tell me.
01:12:43I definitely don't think I can believe that.
01:12:46What do you think?
01:12:47I think Drake lost to Kendrick.
01:12:49I still like Drake.
01:12:51What was up with that lawsuit?
01:12:53That's such a bitch-ass move.
01:12:54About this situation.
01:12:57Oh, that's definitely a trap.
01:12:59She don't know where we are.
01:13:00You're not going to make it.
01:13:10Head down.
01:13:11Oh my bitch.
01:13:15I'm not dead yet.
01:13:17My bad. I'm sorry.
01:13:19Get back in there.
01:13:21Finish it.
01:13:22For me, Cindy.
01:13:24I would do anything for you, Brenda.
01:13:32Yes, she bought it.
01:13:34That old ketchup trip.
01:13:35It don't fail.
01:13:37She thought I was taking my black ass back in there.
01:13:40I'm not going to kill you.
01:13:44It's okay.
01:13:45I'm not going to kill you.
01:13:46You have five seconds to show yourselves.
01:13:58Oh, fuck.
01:14:02Oh, fuck.
01:14:03Oh, fuck.
01:14:03Oh, fuck.
01:14:03Ah, sweet bitch.
01:14:05You shot my favorite ball.
01:14:07Go find your old damn closet.
01:14:10Don't worry.
01:14:20Hello, Cindy.
01:14:22Hello.
01:14:24Looks like you forgot
01:14:25the first rule of surviving
01:14:27a horror movie. Never.
01:14:29Answer that, though.
01:14:31I thought the first rule was
01:14:33never trust the lavatress.
01:14:36Oh, really?
01:14:37Well, I'm changing rules. How about that?
01:14:40New rule.
01:14:42Go fuck yourself.
01:14:44Wait, wait.
01:14:45Ah!
01:14:46Oh, why do you hate
01:14:47closets so much?
01:14:49I told you to come out.
01:14:50Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot.
01:14:53Ironic, isn't it?
01:14:55You missed me.
01:14:57Oh, God, it's losing.
01:14:59Then trouble you.
01:15:01You think your job, Wick?
01:15:03I feel like I killed your dog.
01:15:09The dog is just a metaphor.
01:15:12It was about losing his wife.
01:15:13I can be sure it's not an hour to break.
01:15:26Let us begin.
01:15:28Ah!
01:15:31Ah!
01:15:33Ah!
01:15:33Ah!
01:15:47Oh, that stunt girl looks good.
01:15:53Ah!
01:15:54Ah!
01:15:56Ah!
01:15:57Ah!
01:16:01Oh!
01:16:05Ah!
01:16:07Yeah!
01:16:12Ah!
01:16:16Ah!
01:16:18Ah!
01:16:19Ah!
01:16:29Eat a dick.
01:16:41Shoot him, Sarah.
01:16:42End this.
01:16:43Don't tell me what to do.
01:16:45This isn't the best time to resolve our mommy-daughter issues,
01:16:49but, Sarah, I am so sorry.
01:16:51I have been a terrible mother.
01:16:53I don't even know your sister Wednesday.
01:16:56Tuesday.
01:16:57Have to clarify that for legal reasons.
01:17:00But I prepared you for this.
01:17:02So go on, baby.
01:17:04You kill him.
01:17:05Sarah!
01:17:06Jack!
01:17:07Sarah!
01:17:08Jack!
01:17:09Sarah!
01:17:09O.J!
01:17:10Sarah!
01:17:11Jack!
01:17:11Sarah!
01:17:12Jack!
01:17:13Thank God you're okay, because I really wanted to be the one who-
01:17:16Sarah!
01:17:16I need to take it, baby.
01:17:20Hey, I told you it was about me.
01:17:22No, Sarah.
01:17:25You were just a bitch.
01:17:27It's about her.
01:17:29Fuck!
01:17:30Oh, sorry, honey.
01:17:31I hate being right.
01:17:33You should have listened to Doofy.
01:17:35A bitch twist.
01:17:37It just seems too obvious, you know?
01:17:39Which makes you think it is not obvious.
01:17:42Same page, honey.
01:17:43I'm fine.
01:17:43Yeah, well, that's the twist.
01:17:45Now get in the kitchen.
01:17:47Go!
01:17:47Hey, John!
01:17:48Okay, listen up!
01:17:51See, there hasn't been a great horror movie since the first one.
01:17:56We're going to save the franchise.
01:17:57Go get our special guest star.
01:18:02Hollywood is out of ideas.
01:18:04Why else would there be a scary movie six?
01:18:07But it wouldn't work with just the new characters, would it?
01:18:09We need the legacy characters.
01:18:11Oh, and there wouldn't be a Cindy without her sassy black sidekick, Brenda.
01:18:17You ain't have to say black with no hard B like that.
01:18:20Brenda, didn't you get shot?
01:18:23Dara?
01:18:25Oh, wait, I did.
01:18:27Oh, look, that didn't hear me.
01:18:30Oh, my God.
01:18:31Stop dancing.
01:18:32Stop dancing.
01:18:33Everybody stop dancing.
01:18:35Oh, no.
01:18:37No.
01:18:39You called me, Mom.
01:18:42You care about me.
01:18:44Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I mean, sure.
01:18:47Go get Tuesday.
01:18:49Okay, ladies.
01:18:50Time to stage the party.
01:18:53Let's go, let's go, let's go.
01:18:55Oh, my God.
01:18:57What?
01:18:57Who are you people?
01:18:59We're the motherfuckers that are taking over this franchise.
01:19:03Oh, yeah?
01:19:03You're going to...
01:19:04Okay.
01:19:05Oh, my God.
01:19:06That was not part of the plan.
01:19:08Oh, my God.
01:19:11Neither was this.
01:19:17Wait, they got one of those.
01:19:18Oh, God damn.
01:19:23Hey, Anthony Anderson.
01:19:25Yeah.
01:19:26And I brought my boy Kevin Hart with me.
01:19:35What?
01:19:36Shot?
01:19:37That's right.
01:19:38On my knees, I'm the same height as Kevin.
01:19:40And Kevin said no.
01:19:42Kevin Hart said no?
01:19:43That little motherfucker says yes to everything.
01:19:45Yeah, he does.
01:19:46But wait.
01:19:48There's more.
01:19:50Shut up, bitches.
01:19:54Wait.
01:19:55Shorty.
01:19:55Yeah, that's right.
01:19:58For black killings.
01:20:01We're making history.
01:20:02Here's a new definition of black excellence.
01:20:06But why would you do this?
01:20:08Question it is.
01:20:09Why would you try to make a sequel without us, huh?
01:20:12Yeah.
01:20:13When the studio wanted to replace these brothers, I was there.
01:20:17That's facts.
01:20:18What about me?
01:20:19What about you?
01:20:20You were in one scene in part four.
01:20:23Yesterday I made that motherfucker Dr. Phil cut his foot off.
01:20:26And he crazy name.
01:20:27Yeah, he got weird.
01:20:28But you see what they trying to do?
01:20:30They trying to pit us all up against each other.
01:20:33They trying to stop black on very black crime.
01:20:36That's right.
01:20:37Yo, Shaq.
01:20:38Hey, I'm proud of you, bro.
01:20:40You've had an amazing career as a sports commentator since retiring from basketball.
01:20:44And I love the big podcast, nigga.
01:20:47I love that shit.
01:20:48Even though I don't understand the words you be saying.
01:20:50You be on that show until I...
01:20:52All right, all right, all right, all right.
01:20:53All right.
01:20:54Thanks for coming.
01:20:56Kobe.
01:20:56Enough.
01:20:57But my point is, nigga, I love your shit.
01:21:02But I never got over Kazam.
01:21:07Get your big ass out of here.
01:21:10Why did you think of that?
01:21:12You and Kobe, who the heck?
01:21:13Nine weeks?
01:21:15That motherfucker traded me.
01:21:16Shaq, who are you?
01:21:18How big is your butt?
01:21:2122.
01:21:21Then how big is your dick?
01:21:24Whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:21:25Ray.
01:21:26Oh.
01:21:26What the fuck you talking about?
01:21:27I'm doing it for the culture.
01:21:29What culture?
01:21:30Culture club.
01:21:32Uh-oh.
01:21:32Come on.
01:21:33Ray, we're killing people.
01:21:34Stay focused.
01:21:34All right, all right, all right.
01:21:35We back.
01:21:37Hey, Ant.
01:21:37Don't, don't, don't you worry.
01:21:39We're family.
01:21:40Ant.
01:21:41My respect.
01:21:42Ah.
01:21:42Hey.
01:21:43Black is nominated for eight Emmys, my nigger.
01:21:46Uh-oh.
01:21:47Actually, the show was only nominated for five.
01:21:50I was nominated for eight.
01:21:52Oh, wow.
01:21:53Hey, I don't know how people are best at this.
01:21:56Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
01:22:03no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:22:32Shit.
01:22:34i'm sorry they offered me so much money i got a new house a new car and the leaves i
01:22:39don't itch
01:22:41what about you well i had a chance to work with the incomparable charlie shane
01:22:50that's good he's a legend in his dick games crazy you know he slept with 47 000 women
01:22:56and a thousand of them women were dudes lucky guy wait so y'all gonna kill us now
01:23:07oh how would we be without jamie lee curtis or scream be without nev kim that would be scream
01:23:13sex how did you guys pull all of this off sandy you know how many wings is there all
01:23:20bigger billions billions i'm just so happy that the old gang is back together okay in the middle
01:23:27on three core four oh no no that's this coin that's why uh what about what about the young and
01:23:36the
01:23:36restless yeah or the for the old and then the beautiful or the cute and the crusty yeah or the
01:23:43the sexy and then the c we were brought in to take over the franchise that's right
01:23:54you're gonna be like 70 years old
01:24:01i should drag that one to a subway oh my back hurts oh guys guys they're already dead
01:24:09nah little fuckers always come back oh no not this time exactly come on wait let's go let's go
01:24:16we're gonna go let's go look at what's next generation
01:24:20next generation
01:24:21next generation
01:24:21next generation
01:24:41Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
01:24:43Do we feel bad and we know it's all I can?
01:24:46Fuck those kids!
01:24:47This is our franchise!
01:24:50Besides, do you know all these dramatic walkways
01:24:52with the fire back of us?
01:24:54Damn, son!
01:24:56I don't know.
01:24:57I kinda like it.
01:24:59You do, Ray?
01:25:01We should play the fireman.
01:25:02You wanna dress up like the fireman?
01:25:04No, I want you to dress up like the fireman.
01:25:05Look at me now.
01:25:06Y'all feel the trend?
01:25:09Bigger than never, we back!
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