- 18 hours ago
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00:12Oh, my God.
00:30Oh, my God.
01:00Oh, my God.
01:06Wakey, wakey. Rise and shine.
01:087.30. Come on.
01:09All right. All right. I'm up.
01:12Come on. Prove it.
01:14Knock on the other side of this door.
01:15All right. I'm not up. Now push off.
01:18I warn you, I shall count to three
01:20and then I shall burst into song.
01:22I'm up.
01:32That's a nice night dress
01:34you've got on.
01:35What?
01:37I can see everything you've got.
01:40Very nice, too.
01:44How many fingers am I holding up?
01:47That's rude, Chrissie.
01:48There's no need to do rude gestures like that.
01:51You can't see a thing.
01:52True, true.
01:53But as a special treat, I shall bring the breakfast in.
01:56A special treat for whom?
01:57Me.
01:58Push off.
02:00Oh, God.
02:02You'd sleep through anything, you would.
02:04I'm wide awake.
02:06No, you're not.
02:06You've just practiced saying that in your sleep.
02:10What time is it?
02:117.30.
02:12Your alarm didn't go off.
02:13Never does.
02:14You have to shake it first.
02:24I said one for the money, two for the show.
02:27I said three to get ready and go, go, go.
02:31Don't you step up.
02:32Why can't you be all sour and grumpy first thing in the morning,
02:34like the rest of the human race?
02:36Look at it this way, Chrissie.
02:38Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
02:41You've been reading matchboxes again, haven't you?
02:43No, listen, there's never going to be another Thursday like this.
02:46It's unique.
02:47It's Friday.
02:48Well, that's pretty unique for a Thursday.
02:51And why do you keep bolting your bedroom door?
02:53Because I don't trust you.
02:55Oh, no, Chrissie.
02:57It's not me you don't trust.
02:58It's yourself.
03:00And I'm bunged up the keyhole.
03:01I mean, this isn't necessary.
03:03Ah, how did you know the keyhole was bunged up?
03:05Aha!
03:07What's that?
03:08Oh, it's Jo.
03:09She just put a bare foot on the liner.
03:11Oh, in the bedroom.
03:12It ran straight across my foot.
03:13Go and get rid of it.
03:15What?
03:15A bicycle?
03:16A steamroller?
03:18Oh, a mouse.
03:19Oh, a mouse.
03:20Oh, we don't have mice in this flat.
03:22Well, you go and tell it then.
03:24Look, relax, relax.
03:26I'll sort him out.
03:27You're going to cook it?
03:30If I should die, think only this of me, but in some corner of a foreign bedroom.
03:37Oh, get on with it.
03:39We shall fight them on the beaches.
03:41And we shall fight them.
03:45Calm down.
03:46It was probably more frightened than you were.
03:48Why?
03:48I'm not going to run up its leg.
03:50I'll pay you the mice.
03:53Don't leave me.
03:54It might come running out or something.
03:56Look, it's not after you.
03:57It's after the food.
03:59Food attracts pests.
04:01Can I borrow some sugar?
04:02See what I mean?
04:04Only enough to put in me coffee, which I'm also going to borrow off you.
04:07What about milk?
04:08Oh, yeah, I was coming to that.
04:10Hello, Jo.
04:11What's that with you then?
04:11Oh, I just had a fright.
04:13Oh, you should have seen me before I had a shave.
04:15Oh, it's no good.
04:16Couldn't find it.
04:17Hello, mate.
04:18What are you looking for?
04:18A mouse.
04:19Here, I've got one upstairs.
04:20You can have that if you like.
04:22Here.
04:23It's not brown, is it?
04:25It's not brown with the tip of its tail missing.
04:27I think so.
04:28I've done that upstairs.
04:30I was chasing it with an egg whisk.
04:33I might have known you'd have something to do with it.
04:35You chased it down here.
04:36Oh, sorry.
04:37Here, I'll let you have the egg whisk.
04:38It's yours anyway.
04:40My egg whisk?
04:41Yeah.
04:42Yeah, well, thanks for the...
04:45Yeah, I'll see you.
04:46All right, all right, all right.
04:48Who lent it to him?
04:50Well, when he was decorating,
04:52he ran out of sticks to stir his paint with.
04:56That's marvellous.
05:10George.
05:12George is on a deathbed, George.
05:15They've only been married a week.
05:18These are their last few tender moments together.
05:22And I kind of, you're a blind word for you and your pickles.
05:26What?
05:28Pickles, George.
05:29Oh, yeah.
05:29Here you are.
05:30I didn't know you liked them.
05:31Oh, honestly.
05:33You can't follow a film in this house unless you've got subtitles.
05:37Look at it.
05:38Peanuts, crisps, celery.
05:42You even drowned out the world at war.
05:48I've turned it off, George.
05:50Oh, yeah, I know.
05:53Yeah, I was just thinking to myself.
05:55Oh, yeah?
05:56What about?
05:56About how I couldn't hear the film because of your nattering.
05:59Oh.
06:01Why is it we cannot exchange two words without arguing?
06:04Well, we can.
06:05We can't.
06:07I've been waiting for you to be in a good mood all day.
06:10Oh?
06:10Why?
06:11I'll tell you when you're in a good mood.
06:12I'm in a good mood.
06:13Not good enough.
06:14I'm in as good bloody mood as you're going to get me.
06:17Now, why?
06:19My mother is coming on Monday to spend the week with us.
06:22Over my dead body.
06:24George, it's her turn.
06:26We went down to stay with her last time.
06:28And that was over your dead body, as far as I remember.
06:30Yeah, I spent the whole week redecorating her kitchen.
06:33She had a paintbrush in me hand before I could get out of the car.
06:35She's coming, George.
06:37Mildred, am I or am I not master in my own house?
06:41Don't be ridiculous.
06:44Oh, hello, dear.
06:45Come on in.
06:46I'm not interrupting.
06:47Oh, no, no, dear.
06:48We're just in the middle of a friend in Pharrell.
06:50Oh, good.
06:51It's just that I thought I'd better come down and tell you
06:53we've got a mouse upstairs.
06:54A mouse?
06:56I hear.
06:56That's not allowed.
06:57It's in the lease.
06:58No pets.
07:00It's just that I thought you being the landlord,
07:02you ought to know.
07:03Oh, well, if his name's not on the rent book,
07:04it's not my responsibility.
07:06Oh, I can't abide my eyes.
07:07I take after my mother in that respect.
07:09No, I just put a few traps down.
07:10I mean, she can't stay in the same house as a mouse.
07:13Or some poison.
07:14I mean, that's usually very...
07:16On the other hand, we don't want to persecute it, do we?
07:18What?
07:19I'll tell you what, leave it there for a week or two
07:21and it might go off on its own accord.
07:22George?
07:23Hey, your mother won't want to come here now.
07:25We'll see with her mouse loose and that.
07:27She needn't know, George.
07:29Ah, yeah, well, I might accidentally phone and let it slip.
07:32I'm only thinking of her, Mildred.
07:34Best cancel it, eh?
07:38I think I'll tempt its palate with a port-fed Stilton.
07:42I would have used Camembert, but it's slightly overripe.
07:45Look, we're trying to catch a mouse, not Egon Roney.
07:48Chris, it's its last meal.
07:50Anyway, it's all I've got.
07:52Oh, Roper wasn't much help.
07:54How long will it take to chop it?
07:56Ah, now, that does depend on how cooperative the mouse is.
07:58Well, I'm not sleeping in that bedroom till it's gone.
08:00That's very wise, Jo.
08:02I tell you what, I tell you what, you can have my bed.
08:05Oh, that's nice.
08:06What will you sleep?
08:07What?
08:08Well, I mean, seeing as you're sleeping in my bed,
08:10you know, and I don't mind the...
08:11You know, I mean, I'm not bothered, so I'll have your bed.
08:13Oh, that's fair.
08:14I don't mind.
08:15Oh, I don't mind either.
08:16That's good.
08:17So, that's settled.
08:18Just a minute.
08:19Here comes.
08:20You're not sleeping in the same bedroom as me.
08:23Still don't trust yourself, eh?
08:24Rubbish.
08:25Look, Chrissie, I could protect you.
08:28I mean, look, just think about it, right?
08:29You say you don't mind mice, but just think.
08:32You suddenly awake in the middle of the night.
08:34Then you hear it.
08:35The scamper of feet on the lion-o heading straight towards your bed.
08:39Yeah, that's why I don't want you in there.
08:42Chrissie, don't be hasty.
08:43I tell you what we'll do, we'll discuss it over a nice cup of coffee.
08:46We can't.
08:46Why not?
08:47Because your friend upstairs borrowed the last of our coffee this morning.
09:00Oh, hello, mate.
09:02What do you want?
09:03My sugar, milk, coffee.
09:05Well, right now.
09:06Won't tomorrow do?
09:07No, it won't do, Larry.
09:09All right.
09:09Hang about.
09:11I mean, Larry, I'm sorry about this,
09:14but I've got two girls downstairs waiting for it.
09:17Oh.
09:19Yeah, this is Rosie.
09:22Rita.
09:23Pleased to meet you.
09:25Good evening.
09:26This is Robin.
09:27He won't be staying.
09:29Are you a friend of Lawrence's?
09:33Lawrence's?
09:34No, no.
09:35Oh, Lawrence.
09:37Oh, yes, indeed, yes.
09:41We met at the Long Drette.
09:43Oh, very nice.
09:46Are you in the same line of business, then?
09:49No, no, no.
09:50He's not a fashion photographer, no.
09:53No, no, no.
09:55No, but here on him.
09:56I don't want to keep you.
09:58Well, then, nice to meet you.
10:00Pleasure, I'm sure.
10:07Cots, Bruce.
10:08Yeah, yeah.
10:09All right, all right.
10:12Larry, look, I'm sorry about you now.
10:13No, don't worry.
10:14I've got plenty of time.
10:16She's going to miss her last bus, isn't she?
10:17She is?
10:19I'll put my watch back 20 minutes.
10:20Oh, cheeky little Lawrence.
10:26Now then, where was I?
10:29You was telling me about modelling opportunities.
10:33Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:34You know, films and television.
10:37Oh, films, television, radio, all right.
10:41For the right girl, you know, with the right attitude, you know what I mean?
10:45It's wide open.
10:46I reckon you could, uh...
10:48Something moved.
10:49Yeah, well, yeah.
10:51It ran.
10:52It ran across.
10:53Oh, it's a mouse.
10:54A mouse.
11:43Wakey, wakey! Let's have you. Rise and shine. Come on. Rise and shine.
11:49No way. Just think, whoever marries you is going to have to look at that every morning.
11:56It'll be like sleeping with a Brillo pad. Listen, I've had no complaints so far. Wakey, wakey! Coffee!
12:06Oh, my leg, my leg, it's gone to sleep. That's the only bit of me that did go...
12:11Oh, come on. Can't have been that uncomfortable. Oh, my neck, it's so stiff.
12:17Come here.
12:17Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
12:24It's nothing in the mouse trap.
12:26I don't care. I'm not sleeping on the city again.
12:29Well, we'll see.
12:30Oh, how do you mean?
12:32Well, I do feel a bit guilty about last night.
12:37My knee hurts as well
12:39And my back
12:42I suppose you could have had Joe's bed
12:44Well, tonight, perhaps I could sleep in Joe's bed tonight
12:47Well, we'll see
12:48Oh, good, good
12:50You can't be fairer than that, can you?
12:54Did you sleep well?
12:55Oh, no, no, I didn't
12:58No, it's terrible
12:59I didn't sleep a wink
13:00Oh, dear, perhaps you ought to have your bed back
13:02No, no, no, you keep my bed
13:04You know, you stay there till we find the mouse
13:05I mean, it could be weeks, yeah?
13:10I've run out of coffee
13:12Well, you only borrowed some yesterday
13:13Ah, yeah, but he borrowed it back, didn't he?
13:15Hi, mate
13:16Morning
13:17Here, how do you fancy coming out to Keptan Park for the day?
13:19Huh? No, I don't think so
13:21I've got a dead cert for the 3.30
13:23Er, there are
13:25Nothing doing
13:26After last night, there's got to be an omen
13:30Yeah, but you were in there last night
13:31I mean, well, anyone could have been in there
13:33Oh, that's what I thought
13:35That was all going great
13:36You know, this real tongue sandwich stuff
13:39Now she sees that flaming mouse of yours
13:42What, up in your flat?
13:43Yeah, got hysterical, didn't she?
13:45I had to slap her face, she slapped me back
13:48Sort of spoiled the mood of the evening, really
13:49Yeah, that's what it would do, wouldn't it?
13:51She damn near took the door off the engines when she left
13:54Nothing doing, eh?
13:56Yeah, yeah, 3.30, Kemptan Park
14:01Still, I've got the little beggar in the end
14:03You what?
14:04I threw me radio at it
14:05Clonk
14:07What, you mean it's dead?
14:08Oh, I don't know
14:08I haven't switched it on since
14:09No, the mouse!
14:11Oh, no
14:11That's great, yeah
14:13Will you keep your voice down?
14:15Listen, do me a favour
14:16Don't tell Joe or Chrissy
14:17I don't want to know that the mouse is dead
14:19I made you a couple coffers
14:20Oh, son
14:21No, no, no, he hasn't got time
14:22Hasn't got time
14:23You know, you've got to catch a train, haven't you?
14:25You know
14:25What?
14:25Captain Park
14:26Well, it's not, Harry
14:27He's only 22
14:27Yeah, I know, but it
14:29No, it's not
14:30It's 10 o'clock
14:31No, it can't be 10
14:32Oh, God
14:33I put my watch back 20 minutes last night
14:35Oh, good morning, son
14:42Hi
14:42Here, seen any more of our rodent friend then, eh?
14:45Oh, yeah, I killed it last night
14:47Oh, good
14:48What, dead?
14:49Yeah, I threw me radio at it
14:51Keep your voice down, son
14:52Look, I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell Mrs Roper about it, you see
14:55I want her to think it's still alive
14:58You do?
14:58Yeah
14:58Yeah
14:59Yeah, all right then, yeah
15:01All right
15:01Good lad
15:07There's something I could tell you
15:08but I'm beginning to think it's a state secret
15:11Yeah, all right
15:14Yeah, I'm looking forward to it
15:15Yes, love
15:16See you on Monday
15:18Bye-bye
15:19Here
15:19I thought she wasn't coming
15:21She isn't, George
15:23We're going down there to spend the week with her
15:25Oh, no
15:26Oh, yes
15:27Oh, not Dagnum, Mildred
15:29She's only got one bedroom
15:30I'll be stuck on the camp bed in the scullery again
15:32Oh, she might allow you into the front parlour this time, George
15:35No, she won't
15:36She'll have me redecorating that
15:37George
15:37Yeah, what about that outside bog of hers?
15:40You have to sit there with Hurricane Lamb beating off the moths
15:42Oh, yes
15:45We are going, George
15:47I mean, she's an old lady
15:49Next time we see her, it might be at her funeral
15:52Yeah
15:52Well, I wouldn't mind going down for that
15:55Oh, and about that mouse
15:57I'll just remember
15:58You know the young fella, you know, the top flat
16:00Well, he's killed it, disposed of it
16:02No, he just told me
16:03So, I mean, she can come here if she wants to
16:05Anything's better than going there
16:07Oh, dear
16:08You're not a very convincing liar, are you, George?
16:12We're going
16:17Oh, you shouldn't have stacked the plates
16:20Why not?
16:21Now I've got to wash the bottoms as well
16:26Hey, listen, Missy
16:27Is that the late addition?
16:29Yeah
16:29Well, how did nothing doing get on?
16:313.30, Kempton
16:33Kempton
16:33Kempton
16:343.30
16:34Nothing doing
16:36It was scratched
16:37I expect it's all those prickly fences they have to jump over
16:44Do you think
16:45Do you think she means that
16:46Or is she just putting us on?
16:48I think she means it
16:49Look, don't talk about me as if I weren't here
16:52Where did that voice come from?
16:55Look, I wouldn't mind if I wasn't
16:57Because I wouldn't know
16:58But I am, and I do, so don't
17:02Yeah
17:03I think, uh, I think I'll go to bed
17:05What?
17:07Well, I didn't get much sleep last night
17:08Another bumpy, uncomfortable settee there
17:10All right, then you can sleep in Joe's bed
17:13Oh, great
17:14And I'll sleep on the settee
17:15Yeah, fine
17:16No, no, no
17:17No, no, I mean, that's silly
17:19Why?
17:20Well, I mean, you know, there isn't a lock on the lounge door
17:22There isn't a lounge door
17:24That is true
17:25Uh, well, what I'm saying is that
17:26You see, Chrissie
17:28If you think I'm going to take advantage of a situation like this
17:32Then, well, you
17:34You can't have a very high opinion of me
17:36That's all I've got to say
17:38Well, if you promise you'll behave yourself
17:42Chrissie, of course I will
17:45All right, then
17:47Good
17:50I think I'll have a shave
17:51I think I'll have a shave
18:04You're respectable?
18:05Yes
18:05Good, good
18:16Oh, yes
18:18This is very nice
18:19Very comfortable
18:33Uh
18:34I don't normally wear
18:36Pajamas
18:37But, um
18:38You know, I thought under the circumstances
18:40You know, I better had
18:44I'll, uh, I'll get in then
18:48Oh, that's very nice
19:08Good book
19:09Hmm
19:12What's that smell?
19:14Huh?
19:15Oh, that's me
19:16Um
19:19It's the aftershave
19:20Well, you know, I had a quick bath
19:21It might be the top
19:21Well, no, it's most probably the deodorant
19:23That does pong a bit
19:25God, this is a nice bed
19:31What's yours like?
19:33You keep your mind off my bed
19:35Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry
19:39I see the Fisheries Protection Bill has passed through the committee stage
19:42What?
19:43Well, I've got to the floor of the house now for a second reading most probably
19:46What are you talking about?
19:48I'm just keeping my mind off your bed
19:50Why don't you get a book or something?
19:53Oh, yeah, fine
19:54Okay
19:58Where are you going?
19:59A book, a book
20:00Just to get a book
20:01I'll take it back there and read
20:08Sex and the Single Girl
20:10What's that about?
20:12Church architecture
20:15I thought it might be
20:18Oh, dear
20:19I don't know
20:20It must be like
20:25What's this one like?
20:26Well, there's not a lot of plot
20:27It's a London street guide
20:32Yeah, so it is
20:33Well, I've read it anyway
20:37This is a very good book
20:39Must be, you're reading it upside down
20:42Oh
20:44Yeah
20:44Well, I wasn't really reading it anyway
20:54Chrissie
20:54No, Robin
20:55I haven't said anything
20:57You don't have to
21:01Look, they say this is the way a girl can lose a man's respect
21:05Not mine
21:07I've got tremendous respect for you
21:10And I can feel it coming on right now
21:14Robin
21:15Go back to your own bed, please
21:18Well, because if you really want me to
21:21I'll go
21:22I do
21:26All right, then
21:27Fine, yes
21:28Well, then I'll
21:29I'll go
21:31Good
21:33Here I go, then
21:36I'm on my way
21:38Fine
21:47All right, then
21:49I'd hate myself
21:50I'd hate myself in the morning
21:53Yeah
21:53Fine
21:56On the other hand
21:57I could lie until the afternoon
22:02That's true
22:23Could we have a little more considerate?
22:26It's you, Mr. Simmons
22:27Yeah, sorry about that
22:28Bad day
22:30Oh, by the way
22:32I think I know the answer
22:33But I might as well ask you anyway
22:36That mouse
22:37Mouse
22:38Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
22:40You haven't killed it, have you?
22:43Yeah, go on
22:43Tell her, son, go on
22:44No, no, no
22:46Still alive
22:47I'm still
22:48Scampering about somewhere
22:50Right
22:50No, son
22:52Just get in there
22:53Get in there, George
22:54We are going to my mother's
22:59And he steps straight under the mousetrap
23:01Oh, that's terrible
23:04That's really terrible
23:06Thank you very much, Jo
23:08Look, she wasn't laughing at you
23:09She was laughing with you
23:10I wasn't laughing
23:12That's all you're like
23:13Any chance of a coffee?
23:14Oh, bad time
23:15He's just putting his foot right
23:17Right in a what?
23:19In a mousetrap
23:20And it hurt
23:22Well, what'd you leave it laying about for?
23:23Well, you know I killed the little thing last night
23:30Yeah, that's, er
23:31That's what you didn't want me to say, innit?
23:35I see
23:37Jo
23:38Get hold of his other foot, would you?
23:40What?
23:41No, no
23:42Quick, no
23:43I see
23:43I see
23:44I see
23:52I see
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