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00:00They say love makes the world go around, but in my world, it's rent.
00:04Rent makes everything spin, including my blood pressure.
00:08I'm Ethan Lee, freelance actor, barista, professional, please don't cut my Wi-Fi negotiator.
00:14Two weeks late on rent, three years late on success.
00:18My last gig was as a zombie extra.
00:20I got tackled before lunch and paid in exposure.
00:24Literally.
00:25Then I saw this ad.
00:27Hire a honey.
00:28Rent a date?
00:29Save face.
00:31And I thought, I could totally fake being in love.
00:34I've done it every Valentine's.
00:36With myself.
00:38Application accepted.
00:39That was fast.
00:41Either I'm charming, or they're desperate.
00:44Hopefully both.
00:47The client's name was Noah H.
00:50Cute, right?
00:52I pictured someone with a flower emoji in her bio.
00:55Turns out, Noah was Noah.
00:58With an H.
01:00Capital H.
01:01As in, holy wow.
01:04You're Ethan?
01:05You're definitely not a Noah with a heart emoji.
01:09You look like the kind of guy who wakes up with abs and life insurance.
01:13Let's get straight to it.
01:15I need someone to play my fiancé.
01:17Fiancé?
01:18As in, rings, vows, forever type fiancé?
01:22Just for two weeks.
01:24Family reunion.
01:24My parents think I'm engaged.
01:26I need someone convincing.
01:29Convincing?
01:30I once cried in a toothpaste commercial.
01:32I was born for this.
01:37Rule one.
01:38No public drama.
01:40Drama is my brand.
01:41Rule two.
01:42My parents are traditional.
01:44Keep it appropriate.
01:46Define appropriate.
01:47Anything you wouldn't show a priest.
01:50In my head, it was a rom-com.
01:52In his head, it was a business transaction.
01:55We were clearly not watching the same movie.
01:58My ex will be there too.
01:59Oh, great.
02:01Nothing screams healthy boundaries like a rented fiancé and an ex in the same room.
02:06He didn't even blink.
02:07I think his face has a monthly subscription to calm.
02:11Payment is double your rate.
02:13Bonus if you survive my mother.
02:16Your mother?
02:17Should I...
02:18Start practicing bowing?
02:20Only if you want to live.
02:22Double my rent plus a survival bonus.
02:24It was like fear factor, but with emotional trauma.
02:28We leave Friday.
02:29Wait, this Friday?
02:31Would you prefer next lifetime?
02:32So there I was, engaged to a stranger, pretending to be in love, all for the low price of not
02:39being homeless.
02:40Love may not be real, but my bills definitely are.
02:45I practiced my smile in the mirror.
02:48Somewhere between charming fiancé and please hire me again.
02:53He texted, wear something decent.
02:56So naturally, I panicked.
02:59Packing was easy.
03:00I just threw everything I owned into a suitcase, just in case.
03:05And that's how I met him again.
03:07Mr. Tall, calm, and tax-deductible.
03:11You're late.
03:12Fashionably.
03:13It's called flair.
03:14It's called unprofessional.
03:16Wow.
03:17We're already talking like a married couple.
03:19Don't push it.
03:20He said it so coldly.
03:22But his eyes didn't look angry.
03:25Maybe mildly inconvenienced.
03:27Which for him, might be passion.
03:32He drove in silence.
03:34No music.
03:35No talking.
03:36Just his perfect profile.
03:38Taunting me in HD.
03:41So, what's your favorite color?
03:44Neutral.
03:46That's not a color.
03:48It is when you're consistent.
03:50I was dating a spreadsheet.
03:54We stopped halfway to his family's house.
03:56One room.
03:57One bed.
03:59Of course.
04:00Because the universe is a fanfic writer with no boundaries.
04:04Uh, is this a mistake?
04:06Or do you always book rooms like you're on a honeymoon package?
04:10Only one room was available.
04:12With one bed?
04:13Do you require a separate mattress?
04:15I can sleep on the floor.
04:17No.
04:17I mean, no, no.
04:19Bed's fine.
04:20Totally fine.
04:20Perfect.
04:21Great bed.
04:22Why was I talking like a malfunctioning toaster?
04:25You're sleeping on the left.
04:27And you're on my right.
04:29Wow.
04:30Symbolic.
04:31Symbolic of what?
04:32Bad decisions.
04:37Oh.
04:38Okay.
04:38He's just...
04:39doing that.
04:42Casually undressing like he's in a cologne commercial.
04:47Uh, should I...
04:49Do I look away, or...
04:51You can look anywhere you want.
04:54Just...
04:54Don't narrate it out loud.
04:56Too late.
04:58I was narrating it in HD inside my skull.
05:11Stop staring at my back.
05:13I can feel it.
05:15I wasn't staring.
05:17You hesitated.
05:18Which means you were likely staring.
05:20I wasn't staring.
05:22I was observing.
05:24Oh.
05:25That's so much worse.
05:27Why does observing sound hotter than staring?
05:31I hate this.
05:35The bed was way smaller than the photos.
05:38Our shoulders were practically dating already.
05:41Um...
05:41Your arm is touching mine.
05:43I'm aware.
05:45And you're...
05:46Not moving it?
05:48Do you want me to move it?
05:49No.
05:51I answered too fast.
05:53He definitely noticed.
05:54He's definitely judging me.
05:56And I'm definitely into it.
05:59Ethan?
06:00Yes?
06:00I mean, yeah?
06:02Tomorrow, just follow my lead.
06:04If you get nervous, touch my hand.
06:07It'll make it look real.
06:09Oh, yeah.
06:11Totally makes sense.
06:12For...
06:13Authenticity.
06:14And for you.
06:15For me?
06:16You get flustered easily.
06:18I do not.
06:19You're flustered right now.
06:21No, I'm not.
06:23This is just my normal breathing pattern.
06:26Exactly.
06:28I swear he's doing this on purpose.
06:30And if he isn't, that's even worse.
06:33Because then I might actually be falling for him.
06:37Day one.
06:38Job secured.
06:40Boundaries evaporating.
06:42Heart in critical danger.
06:54Uh, your arm.
06:57It's on me.
06:58Kind of aggressively on me.
07:01Stay still.
07:02I'm thinking.
07:03Thinking what?
07:04How to kill me?
07:05How to make this convincing.
07:07My grandparents are affectionate.
07:10We should...
07:10Practice.
07:11Practice what, exactly?
07:13Hand-holding?
07:14Smiling?
07:15Or the weird aggressive spooning thing you're doing right now?
07:18The spooning.
07:20For realism.
07:21Realism.
07:23Sure.
07:23That's exactly why my heart was doing Zumba.
07:31So, uh, what's your family like?
07:33Traditional.
07:34Loud.
07:35Opinionated.
07:36They'll ask personal questions.
07:38Okay, like, where did we meet?
07:40Or, why did you choose Ethan?
07:42Or, why does Ethan look like he hasn't ironed a shirt since 2019?
07:47Exactly.
07:48Which is why I told you to dress nicely.
07:51Hey, this is nice.
07:52This shirt is vintage.
07:54Emotionally textured.
07:55It's wrinkled, Ethan.
07:57Okay, well, maybe my outfit just... reflects my personality?
08:02Unprepared?
08:03Spontaneous.
08:04Don't worry.
08:05Once we get to the house, I'll find you something decent to wear.
08:08You're gonna dress me?
08:09I'm going to save you.
08:10There's a difference.
08:12Wow.
08:12So this is what judgment feels like in 4K.
08:16You'll thank me later.
08:17Today's important.
08:18Right.
08:19Speaking of that, what is this whole reunion thing anyway?
08:22My grandparents' anniversary.
08:23They've been together 50 years.
08:2550?
08:26That's like 300 streaming subscriptions ago.
08:30It's a big deal.
08:31Family from everywhere is flying in.
08:33They want photos, introductions, impressions.
08:36Oh, so I'm basically a human bouquet you're bringing to the party.
08:40Pretty much.
08:42Does your family like men?
08:44My grandmother ships anyone who breathes.
08:46So yes.
08:48Great.
08:48I was about to be evaluated by an Asian grandma.
08:51Boss level difficulty unlocked.
09:01This is not a house.
09:02This is where villains live.
09:04Don't embarrass yourself.
09:06Impossible.
09:07That's my whole brand.
09:08Noah, you didn't tell us he was so handsome.
09:11Me?
09:12Him?
09:13Us?
09:13Together?
09:14Yes.
09:15I mean, hello.
09:17He's malfunctioning.
09:18Fantastic.
09:19Come in.
09:20Come in.
09:21Noah, you got yourself a cutie.
09:27And such soft cheeks.
09:29Uh, hi.
09:30Hello.
09:30Yes.
09:31Cheeks confirmed.
09:32Grandma, ease up.
09:33Are you feeding him enough?
09:35He looks like he needs protein.
09:38He's fully grown.
09:40Barely.
09:41Look at him.
09:42No muscles at all.
09:44But that's okay, sweetheart.
09:46We'll feed you.
09:47I thank you, I think.
09:50We have steak, salmon, chicken, tofu.
09:55You look like you need all four.
09:57Is this normal?
09:59This is her being subtle.
10:00I'm not going to survive this weekend.
10:03Nonsense.
10:04If Noah loves you, we love you.
10:07Right.
10:07Yes.
10:08Love.
10:09That thing we absolutely do.
10:13Oh, yes.
10:14Big love.
10:15Huge.
10:16Budget friendly, but emotionally rich.
10:18Excellent.
10:19Now both of you inside.
10:21Straight to the kitchen.
10:22I need to fatten this boy before the relatives arrive.
10:25Your grandma just declared a feeding emergency.
10:28She thinks skinny people are a cry for help.
10:30Well, she's not wrong.
10:34So, tell me how you two met.
10:36Make me feel something.
10:38Not like those boring dating app stories.
10:40Oh, uh, we met at a coffee shop.
10:43He stole my drink.
10:45I did not steal it.
10:47Your name just sounds like every drink ever.
10:49It was labeled Noah.
10:50Your name isn't Noah.
10:52It was crowded, and the barista said it weird.
10:54So, he stole your drink, and you fell in love?
10:58Well, he grabbed my wrist to take it back.
11:00Politely.
11:02Aggressively.
11:03Firmly.
11:03Anyway, he looked at me with this annoyed face, and I panicked and said,
11:07Wow, your eyes are symmetrical.
11:10Symmetrical.
11:11How romantic.
11:13I blackout flirt when I'm stressed.
11:15I like him.
11:16He's strange.
11:18Strange is memorable.
11:20Oh, thank you.
11:21But, sweetheart, why are you dressed like someone who got lost on the way to laundry day?
11:27You said I looked fine.
11:28I said I'd find you something to wear once we got here.
11:31Yes, yes, good.
11:32Fix him.
11:33It's our anniversary.
11:35He cannot look like he crawled out of a group project that failed.
11:39I didn't.
11:40That only happened once.
11:41Go, go.
11:42Take him upstairs.
11:43Make him presentable before your mother arrives.
11:46She judges fast.
11:48Up.
11:49Now.
11:49But, Grandma likes me.
11:51I do.
11:52But your shirt does not spark joy.
11:55Burn it.
11:57Was that...
11:58Was that an interrogation?
12:00Or am I just allergic to grandmas?
12:03She likes you.
12:04That's her gentle mode.
12:05Gentle?
12:06She said I...
12:07Look like I need protein.
12:09Like I'm a stray cat she found behind Costco.
12:18Take off your shirt.
12:19Whoa, okay, bold.
12:21Usually a guy buys me food first.
12:23I just fed you.
12:24Now take off the shirt.
12:35Did you just judge my body?
12:37No.
12:38I assessed it.
12:39That's worse.
12:40Assessment implies notes.
12:42You need structure.
12:44And sleeves that don't swallow you like a burrito.
12:58You know I can put on a shirt by myself, right?
13:03I've seen how you fold clothes.
13:05I'm not taking risks.
13:11Better.
13:12Much better.
13:14So I look, what, respectable?
13:15Like a man who irons?
13:17Like I know what quinoa is?
13:18You look like someone I'd bring home.
13:20Good.
13:21Uh, cool.
13:22Great.
13:22Totally normal sentence.
13:24Stop talking.
13:25Yes.
13:26Please.
13:26Do that for me.
13:28Do you do this a lot?
13:30No.
13:30Just for you.
13:32Try not to look too nervous.
13:34It ruins the whole romantic fiancé thing.
13:37Too late.
13:37My kneecaps are sweating.
13:40I feel like I'm walking into my own wedding.
13:44Just don't trip.
13:45We don't have insurance for that.
13:47Very comforting.
13:50Aiyo, my heart.
13:52Noah, good job.
13:55Good job?
13:56Don't make it weird.
13:57Look at you.
13:58I knew you were cute.
14:00But this, this is husband material.
14:05Noah, if you let this one go, I will haunt you from the grave.
14:10Thank you?
14:11Please don't haunt anyone.
14:13She means that.
14:14Literally.
14:15You clean up so well, sweetheart.
14:19I'm going to show you off like a coupon code.
14:22Well, well, well.
14:24So this is the fiancé.
14:26Yep, that's me.
14:27The fiancé edition.
14:30This is my cousin, Jace.
14:33Hi.
14:33I'm just the friend.
14:35Not the boyfriend.
14:36Just clarifying.
14:39Nobody asked, Matthew.
14:42So, you guys met at a coffee shop.
14:45Cute.
14:46But what about your first date?
14:48Where'd you go?
14:49Oh, easy.
14:50We went to a ramen place.
14:52He stole my egg.
14:53You gave me your egg.
14:54I gave you half.
14:56Same thing.
14:57Wow.
14:58True love.
15:00Sharing eggs.
15:02Oh, it looks like the relatives and guests are here.
15:12Why are we in here again?
15:13Because there are hundreds of people out there.
15:16There are not hundreds.
15:18Okay.
15:19Dozens.
15:21Emotionally, it feels like hundreds.
15:23I thought this was just grandparents, a cake, maybe one scary aunt.
15:28We do have one scary aunt.
15:30Why is there always one?
15:33Okay.
15:34Okay.
15:34I can do this.
15:35I can totally do this.
15:37I'm ready.
15:38Let's go face the...
15:42Oh.
15:43You don't have to impress them.
15:45You've got this.
15:46And if it gets too much, stay near me.
15:50You're really bad at personal space for a guy who claims to be calm.
15:54You're the one who keeps panicking.
15:56Okay.
15:56Yeah.
15:57I'm good.
16:00Let's go meet your entire bloodline.
16:02That's the spirit.
16:04The noise hit us immediately.
16:07Laughter.
16:08Overlapping conversations.
16:09Relatives everywhere.
16:11It feels endless.
16:13Is that him?
16:14He's smaller than I imagined.
16:18They can sense fear.
16:20Great.
16:20Love that for me.
16:23Everyone.
16:24Everyone.
16:25Come look.
16:26This is my Noah's fiance.
16:28Hi.
16:29Hello.
16:30I exist.
16:32Why are you standing so far apart?
16:35Come.
16:36Stand like people who love each other.
16:38We're definitely touching.
16:40This is not rehearsal anymore.
16:43You don't look like the type Noah would go for.
16:46Neither do I.
16:48Yet here we are.
16:49He grows on you.
16:53Did he just?
16:54Yes.
16:55Yes, he did.
16:57Smile.
16:59Smile.
17:03Okay.
17:04This is not a family gathering.
17:06This is a United Nations meeting with better food.
17:10You're so dramatic.
17:11Ah, there you are.
17:13I was wondering where my handsome grandson and future grandchild-in-law went.
17:18We...
17:19We just needed air.
17:20And silence.
17:22And possibly a new identity.
17:25Ah, ha, ha.
17:26Always with the flair.
17:28Come.
17:28You must meet Grandpa.
17:32Henry, this is Ethan.
17:35Ah, so this is the young man.
17:38I'm Henry.
17:40Welcome to our circus.
17:43Oh, uh, thank you, sir.
17:46Call me Grandpa.
17:47Sir makes me feel retired.
17:50Isn't he handsome?
17:51I told you Noah has good taste.
17:54Grandma.
17:55Your grandma has opinions.
17:57I just agree with them.
17:59After 50 years, he knows better.
18:06Okay, they're adorable.
18:08That makes this harder.
18:13Wow, I forgot how intense this family gets.
18:17You say that every reunion.
18:19And every time I think I'm prepared, I'm not.
18:22So, Ethan's surviving better than I expected.
18:26He is.
18:28Cousin seems calmer with him.
18:30Yeah, that's new.
18:31I believe they care.
18:34Why do you say that?
18:36Eyes don't lie.
18:39You're very observant today.
18:41I always am.
18:43You just don't notice.
18:53You know, if you ever wanted to fake date someone at a family event,
18:57I'd be a very convincing option.
18:59You'd last five minutes.
19:01Four.
19:02But they'd be memorable.
19:05We should go back in.
19:07Your aunt's about to interrogate Ethan again.
19:10Yeah, wouldn't want to miss that.
19:13So, Ethan, what do you do for work?
19:17I'm a barista.
19:18Just a barista?
19:20Yes, but like, a good one.
19:23Coffee is not a career.
19:25Respectfully, it's a lifestyle.
19:28How much do you make?
19:31How much do you make?
19:31Oh, uh, enough to survive.
19:34Sometimes thrive.
19:36Mostly survive.
19:37And Noah?
19:38You know what he does.
19:40Yes.
19:41He's very successful.
19:43Emotionally unavailable.
19:45Great posture.
19:47That's not...
19:48Do you plan to quit working once you marry?
19:51Oh, no.
19:52I like working.
19:54And eating.
19:55Children?
19:56We...
19:57We just ordered appetizers in this relationship.
19:59You're very thin.
20:02Do you cook?
20:04I can make eggs.
20:05How?
20:06With confidence.
20:09Noah is used to...
20:12excellence.
20:13I know.
20:14I'm more of a...
20:16limited edition.
20:18Flawed, but charming.
20:23Enough.
20:25He makes coffee.
20:27Noah drinks coffee.
20:29That is destiny.
20:31We're just concerned.
20:36I hired him.
20:37I mean, I chose him.
20:40Because he's kind.
20:42And he listens.
20:43And he makes me laugh.
20:45That's not something you can put on a resume.
20:49So I do have references.
20:56Good answer.
21:01Let the boy breathe.
21:04Come, everyone.
21:05Family photo.
21:08Fiancé is in the center.
21:10Closer.
21:12You look like co-workers.
21:15Okay.
21:16That's fine.
21:17Normal.
21:18Professional fiancé behavior.
21:20Closer.
21:20Closer.
21:21Oh.
21:22Relax.
21:23I am relaxed.
21:25This is my relaxed voice.
21:27Your voice went up an octave.
21:29Why are you standing like cardboard?
21:31You're engaged.
21:32Not in line at the bank.
21:34Kiss him.
21:36Excuse me?
21:37Just the little one.
21:38For the photo.
21:40Just a pack.
21:41They're shy.
21:42How cute.
21:43This was not in the contract.
21:45This was not in the contract.
21:48We don't have to.
21:50I know.
21:50But if we do, we do it right.
21:53Define right.
21:55No.
21:56Oh no.
21:57This is not pretend anymore.
22:02Hold that.
22:03Wait.
22:05Too many eyes.
22:07Save it for later.
22:10Rugh.
22:11Aww.
22:12You okay?
22:13I...
22:14Yeah.
22:14Never better.
22:16I think my soul just rebooted.
22:19Good.
22:21Hey.
22:22You okay?
22:23Yeah.
22:24Just recalibrating my soul.
22:27I warned you.
22:28They can be...
22:30A lot.
22:31A lot is generous.
22:33I think one of your aunts tried to scan my resume with her eyes.
22:41You didn't have to do that back there.
22:44The...
22:46Almost...
22:46You could have pulled away.
22:48I didn't want to make it weird.
22:50You didn't.
22:51You made it convincing.
22:57Seriously.
22:59I know this isn't easy.
23:03That's...
23:03Kind of my job, right?
23:05Ethan.
23:08You don't have to keep pretending when it's just us.
23:10I know.
23:11I just...
23:12Don't want to mess this up.
23:14For you.
23:16You're not messing anything up.
23:19You're helping more than you realize.
23:22Okay.
23:23Then...
23:24I'm good.
23:25I'm good.
23:25I'm good.
23:26I'm good.
23:28I'm good.
23:28I'm good.
23:28I'm good.
23:29I'm good.
23:29I'm good.
23:29I'm good.
23:30I'm good.
23:30I'm good.
23:31I'm good.
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