Full Hot Movie When Scott Stratton loses his job, his entire life spirals into despair, and no amount of encouragement can get him off the couch, until his sister hires the life coach from hell to change Scott's life, using any means possible.
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#watchfreemovie
#watcnow
#fullmovie
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#ClassicMovies
#Thriller
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#romanticmovie
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#Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:45CastingWords
00:01:28CastingWords
00:01:56CastingWords
00:02:09So, not good news?
00:02:12No, you should take this very seriously for a change, Mr. Stratton.
00:02:16As I've said, your blood pressure is high, your triglycerides are off the chart.
00:02:20On this path, you're in danger of cirrhosis of the liver.
00:02:23This is my doctor.
00:02:23He was actually my pediatrician, but he makes a special exception for me.
00:02:28I thought it was just a kidney stone.
00:02:31Well, I can tell you with certainty that your kidney stones are because of excessive soda consumption.
00:02:36I've been your doctor for, what, almost 10 years now?
00:02:39He says the same thing every time I come in the last few years.
00:02:43The health has been steadily declining, and it's fairly obvious that whatever I've said to you has gone in one
00:02:48ear and out the other.
00:02:50Huh?
00:02:52I'm just kidding, Doc. I heard every word you said.
00:02:55Of course you did.
00:02:57Um, there's a difference between hearing words and acting on them.
00:03:00I think it's his voice.
00:03:02I wouldn't expect a chimpanzee to know the difference, but the average human being...
00:03:06Yeah, it's his voice that makes him so easy to tune out.
00:03:08Pizza, burgers, soda, ice cream, donuts, these are your enemies.
00:03:12He does give me some good ideas from time to time, though.
00:03:14They're not your friends.
00:03:15Yeah, ice cream covered donuts.
00:03:18Oh, that would be so good with, like, some caramel sauce drizzled over top.
00:03:21Oh, you know what?
00:03:23What?
00:03:23Get out.
00:03:25Okay.
00:03:30Carla.
00:03:31Carla, you're killing me.
00:03:32You wanted to come, so no complaining.
00:03:34I was misinformed.
00:03:35You said a little exercise to me.
00:03:37That's miniature golf.
00:03:38Honey, you've been wound up like a slinky on steroids since you broke up with David.
00:03:41Is everything okay?
00:03:41That was three months ago.
00:03:43I'm completely over him.
00:03:44Honey, you just told us last week.
00:03:45I thought he had died.
00:03:46I've been busy.
00:03:46Honey, you've got to relax.
00:03:48Why do you think we're here running?
00:03:49Only cheetahs wanted ten miles to relax.
00:03:52Did he break up with you?
00:03:53God, no.
00:03:54I kicked him to the curb, and he sat on my bed and clipped his toenails.
00:03:58You need help.
00:03:59I'm going back to the office.
00:04:00I'll see you there.
00:04:12I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.
00:04:15Ow.
00:04:16What did she hit me for?
00:04:17What do I do?
00:04:18Where do I start?
00:04:21What is that on my floor?
00:04:23That would be Dad.
00:04:24I tripped over your junk and spilled him, you pig.
00:04:26How am I the pig?
00:04:27You spilled him?
00:04:29Ow.
00:04:30I brought him here for you.
00:04:31To inspire you.
00:04:32To do what?
00:04:33Clean?
00:04:34Oh, wouldn't a vacuum been a better gift?
00:04:37Oh.
00:04:38God.
00:04:39So, weren't you supposed to help me move my dresser?
00:04:41Yesterday.
00:04:42Oh.
00:04:44I'm so sorry.
00:04:46I just...
00:04:46Didn't you have that ex-boy toy of yours?
00:04:50I mean...
00:04:50Hey, don't look at me.
00:04:52I don't even know why you keep him around.
00:04:53I mean, he's a he.
00:04:55Well, I need some man in my life to help carry the heavy load,
00:04:58and obviously I can't count on my big brother.
00:05:00Mia.
00:05:01My little sister.
00:05:02Where do I begin?
00:05:04She's a super smart type A lawyer.
00:05:08And I probably shouldn't tell you this,
00:05:10but she's in love with her childhood best friend
00:05:11and current roommate, Kathy,
00:05:13who is also in love with Mia.
00:05:15Just don't tell Kathy.
00:05:17She's still in the closet.
00:05:18That's not fair.
00:05:19I would have been there.
00:05:20I don't remember.
00:05:22You know what, Scott?
00:05:23It's one thing if you want to live this lifestyle,
00:05:25but when other people are depending on you,
00:05:27it's not just about you anymore.
00:05:29Other people suffer.
00:05:31Okay.
00:05:31I get it.
00:05:32I'm sorry, all right?
00:05:33I should have been there.
00:05:36I'm just trying to enjoy my life like Dad, you know?
00:05:41Dad was dead at 53 because he drank and ate crap like you do.
00:05:45He had a heart attack.
00:05:46Why do you think he had a heart attack?
00:05:47It happens.
00:05:50Dad wanted his legacy to be king of sports,
00:05:52and you know what's left of him right now?
00:05:53It is right there on your floor.
00:05:59He's been dead a couple years.
00:06:00We still haven't spread his ashes where he wanted us to.
00:06:03I don't even think you could make the hike right now.
00:06:05Well, you know what?
00:06:06As long as we're at it, I should go ahead and tell you.
00:06:12I really, really need to take a dump right now.
00:06:15Ah!
00:06:15No, I'm sorry.
00:06:16That's not what I was going to say.
00:06:18I lost my job.
00:06:20DMV, they fired me.
00:06:22But before you say anything, I got calls out.
00:06:26I'll get another job.
00:06:27So just don't worry about me, all right?
00:06:30Clean Dad up and wake up, Scott.
00:06:32Life is passing you by.
00:06:34As for the good life, you're not going to fight it here.
00:06:53I want to kill him.
00:06:54Well, he's kind of beating you to that, don't you think?
00:06:57Not funny.
00:06:58He lost his job.
00:06:59Well, you can lead a horse to water.
00:07:01Oh, but he will only drink booze.
00:07:04And I wish there was something I could do.
00:07:05It's driving me crazy.
00:07:07Hey, hey, no, stop.
00:07:09Stop, stop, stop.
00:07:09Hey, listen.
00:07:10You need something to take your mind off this.
00:07:11Why don't you sit?
00:07:13Why don't we play a game?
00:07:14Will it be as lame as your jokes?
00:07:16Okay, you love my jokes.
00:07:18No need to be mean.
00:07:19Let's rochambeau.
00:07:20Oh, you like that one.
00:07:22What's the bet this time?
00:07:23If I win, then you have to come to church with me on Sunday.
00:07:25In spite of my well-publicized atheism, fine.
00:07:29If I win, we sacrifice a virgin to Satan.
00:07:33Not really that funny.
00:07:34Okay, fine.
00:07:35If I win, you read a book of my choosing.
00:07:38Deal.
00:07:40Good, deal.
00:07:41Good.
00:07:41Done.
00:07:42Fair.
00:07:42Good.
00:07:43Let's do this.
00:07:44One, two, three, shoot.
00:07:47That.
00:07:47Every time.
00:07:48Every time.
00:07:49That's one to three.
00:07:49Absolutely not.
00:07:51I won it fair and square.
00:07:52That what?
00:07:52You always pick paper.
00:07:55Clean that up now.
00:07:58Stop it.
00:08:01Please.
00:08:01I don't know how I put up with that woman.
00:08:03It's all just nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.
00:08:07You know, I mean, stop drinking.
00:08:09You're ruining your life.
00:08:12Hey, at least she loves you, man.
00:08:14Yeah, she loves me and I love her, too.
00:08:16I do, but, you know, it's biological.
00:08:18I have to.
00:08:20But, hell no, man.
00:08:21You met my sister, right?
00:08:23Fair enough.
00:08:25Hey, you know, during Prohibition, you had to have a prescription to get alcohol?
00:08:30Hey, Doc.
00:08:31Feel a little uptight.
00:08:33Gonna need some hooks.
00:08:34All right?
00:08:34Take two shots and call me in the morning.
00:08:37We're just taking our medicine.
00:08:39Hey.
00:08:40Corn, potatoes, and vegetables.
00:08:43Exactly.
00:08:44See, I am getting my veggies then.
00:08:46So what are you going to do to get me off your back?
00:08:48I don't know.
00:08:51Let's go to Lucky Burger.
00:08:53Oh, there it is.
00:08:57They got the best chocolate fudge sundaes.
00:09:00And on my burger, I won't get bacon.
00:09:02I'll tell Mia, she'll be proud of me.
00:09:03Still a burger man, huh?
00:09:04Hey, come on, man.
00:09:05Inside are you on.
00:09:06All right.
00:09:07Besides, I'll do extra lettuce and tomato, and that way I can tell her I'm getting my veggies, too.
00:09:12Done.
00:09:16You know what's been bugging me?
00:09:18How do blind people know when they're done wiping?
00:09:21Yeah, that's a good question.
00:09:38Good morning, Life Biotech.
00:09:39Making your life possible.
00:09:41This is Lucy speaking.
00:09:42Yes, one moment, please.
00:09:44Bill, Dr. Banfield on line one for you.
00:09:46Thank you, Lucy.
00:09:47Go.
00:09:59Don't mind me, children.
00:10:01Richard McDonough on line three for you.
00:10:04Thanks.
00:10:04For nothing.
00:10:06Give him a break.
00:10:07He's a...
00:10:07Richard.
00:10:08I'm so glad you called.
00:10:11What?
00:10:12But you know that's my job.
00:10:14At Life Biotech, we do more than deal with your addictions.
00:10:17We fix your lifestyle, your environment, diet, entertainment.
00:10:22We want this to be a lasting change, Richard.
00:10:25Look, I'm sorry that you're having a hard time dealing with this, but kicking any sort of habit is never
00:10:31easy.
00:10:32There's no substitute for hard work, some self-discipline, and a little willpower.
00:10:37And some balls.
00:10:38Maybe you should grow some.
00:10:41No, Richard, it's called sweat, okay?
00:10:44It's supposed to be coming out of your pores.
00:10:46It means you might actually be able to burn some body fat.
00:10:49But to do so, you need to get your ass up and go to the gym.
00:10:52We've set it all up for you.
00:10:54You just have to show up.
00:10:55That's your job now.
00:10:56The key word here, Richard, is responsibility.
00:10:59I know it's a big word with a lot of syllables, but it's a very simple word.
00:11:03Do you understand it?
00:11:05No, Dick.
00:11:07Let's be clear.
00:11:09You are to blame for being grossly overweight.
00:11:11It is your fault, and you want my help to fix your problem.
00:11:15Just think about what I said, because remember, if you want to change that ass of yours, Carla knows best.
00:11:27Boy, when they were teaching lessons on finesse, you must have been out bowling that day.
00:11:33Do you want my job?
00:11:35No, ma'am.
00:11:39Dear Lord, please forgive me for what I am about to read.
00:11:44I don't want to hear any moaning or crying out there, so toughen up, woman.
00:11:48God bless you, too.
00:11:59I miss the old Scott.
00:12:07Christopher Hitchens, God is not great.
00:12:13Kathy, I thought you were going to tell me what time it is.
00:12:15I'm late for deposition.
00:12:21As good as it gets, I guess.
00:12:33Mia, I was just thinking about you.
00:12:36You know the highlights of the Miss Universe contest we're on?
00:12:39And I was thinking, my gorgeous sister could totally be up there charming the judges.
00:12:44So what do you think?
00:12:44Maybe you can preoccupy your time with that instead of harassing me all the time?
00:12:49Not a chance.
00:12:49Fine, I'll just have to find other ways to distract you.
00:12:53Oh, you know what's on tonight?
00:12:54The Victoria's Secret to Lingerie show.
00:12:56Already set to record on my DDR.
00:12:59Well, you know, there's a nature documentary on some super cute little buggers.
00:13:05No lingerie models, but plenty of honey badgers and marsupials.
00:13:10Marsupials.
00:13:10And surprised you with the polysyllabic word like marsupial, didn't I?
00:13:14Yeah, you are full of surprises.
00:13:16Spell polysyllabic for me, Scott.
00:13:18P-O-L-Y-S-Y.
00:13:20Okay, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
00:13:21I never said you were brainless.
00:13:22Just incredibly lazy.
00:13:25Listen, I'm at the courthouse.
00:13:26I don't have much time, but I've been thinking a lot about the last time I dragged you to a
00:13:30gym.
00:13:31Um, yeah, I'd rather not talk about that.
00:13:35It says stop if you feel faint or pain.
00:13:38If you stop, I'm going to push you off that chair and then you feel pain.
00:13:41Fair enough.
00:14:02Yeah, I bet not.
00:14:04So what?
00:14:04You're more fit than I am.
00:14:05I mean, you have to be hot to charm the judges and win cases.
00:14:09Oh, no, I do that with my brains and a little cleavage.
00:14:12Anyway, I have a client who knows a specialist who basically takes a look at your life
00:14:17and comes up with a game plan for getting it back in order.
00:14:21Out of the generosity of my heart and my pocketbook, that is exactly what I'm going to do for you.
00:14:26Oh, how generous of you.
00:14:28You're going to pay for me to be reprogrammed.
00:14:30Thanks.
00:14:31You know, it would be more fun to be kidnapped, you know?
00:14:35I can just imagine a team of SWAT-style commandos dropping down from a fleet of helicopters into my backyard,
00:14:41you know, that would actually be really cool.
00:14:44Well, I do think that they have a background in military.
00:14:47I think, um, black ops in Afghanistan or something like that.
00:14:50Yeah, I was just kidding.
00:14:52The words boot and camp do not fill my heart with overwhelming joy.
00:14:55Well, good.
00:14:55I think a little hard work and some sweat might be exactly what you need.
00:14:59Or I could just cut you off now, while I can.
00:15:02Warn my dead brother while there's time.
00:15:04Come on, what a buzzkill.
00:15:05You're making my head spin.
00:15:08You're not serious, Miss.
00:15:09Oh, I must...
00:15:11I'm serious, Scott.
00:15:12I'm not joking.
00:15:14Fine.
00:15:15You know, if it's so crucial to you, whatever.
00:15:20You know, some things just aren't physically possible, Mia.
00:15:24And I don't suppose you can help yourself, so...
00:15:26Good. Deal. Done.
00:15:28Expect a visitor.
00:15:30And not the ghost of Christmas past.
00:15:31Yeah, nothing like the ghost of Christmas past.
00:15:37Good afternoon, Life Biotech.
00:15:39This is Lucy speaking, making your life possible.
00:15:41Hi, Lucy. Mia Stratton.
00:15:43I'm calling to set up an appointment for my brother.
00:15:44Sure, I'll put you through.
00:15:51Lose another client?
00:15:53No.
00:15:55Richard's such a wet noodle.
00:15:56But you know, I think I might be getting through to him.
00:15:58He actually talked back to me on the phone.
00:16:00Look at you whipping him one closer to being a man.
00:16:03Sure, sure, Lucy.
00:16:05You know, you're such a sadist.
00:16:06You love it.
00:16:07You torture me with these phone calls,
00:16:09and then you just enjoy listening to me rip them apart.
00:16:13Yeah, I get so little joy in my life,
00:16:15I have to live vicariously through you.
00:16:18True.
00:16:19That boyfriend of yours, Warren, certified bonehead.
00:16:24Yeah.
00:16:25Ever wonder if you're a little too honest?
00:16:30Oh.
00:16:32Good afternoon, Life Biotech, making your life possible.
00:16:35This is Lucy speaking.
00:16:36Well, hi, Richard.
00:16:37Sure.
00:16:38Bill, it's Richard McDonough on line one for you.
00:16:43Okay.
00:16:45That can't be good.
00:16:47You know, thinking back to your start with Richard,
00:16:49I think things are getting worse.
00:16:52Hey, are you blaming me?
00:16:53No, I just think your badass ways
00:16:56are having the opposite effect on him, that's all.
00:16:59His total and utter lack of a backbone
00:17:01is the reason why he's so infuriating.
00:17:03You know, I should get the Nobel Prize
00:17:05for not slapping him silly.
00:17:08Maybe I, maybe I need to change my methods,
00:17:12try something different.
00:17:13Yeah, why don't you try injecting a little violence,
00:17:15and if waterboarding doesn't work,
00:17:17you could just try sulfuric acid surfing.
00:17:20Hmm.
00:17:22You never know, sweetie.
00:17:23I'm always open to new ideas.
00:17:28I have some strawberries.
00:17:30I'll share them with you if you like.
00:17:32Yes.
00:17:33And for that, I will screen your calls
00:17:35for at least an hour.
00:17:36Oh, let me get in here.
00:17:50Richard just called.
00:17:52You want to take a guess what we talked about?
00:17:55He's adoring the tough love
00:17:56and feels like he's on the verge of a breakthrough.
00:17:58Nice try.
00:17:59Carla, instilling self-discipline
00:18:01does not give you permission
00:18:02to browbeat them into submission.
00:18:04Come on, Bill.
00:18:05What do you want me to do?
00:18:06I mean, if they can't deal with me,
00:18:07how are they going to deal with the pressure
00:18:09after I'm gone?
00:18:10It's everything in their life has to change
00:18:13because their life is on the line.
00:18:15We help them be the best that they can be.
00:18:17Don't preach to me.
00:18:18I know very well what they need,
00:18:19and I know even better what they want.
00:18:22Carla, this is a business first.
00:18:24I'm not paying you to break the little pride
00:18:26they have left.
00:18:28I want to change people's lives, Bill.
00:18:30It's not just about a paycheck.
00:18:32I see.
00:18:32You don't need all the money I pay you.
00:18:34I didn't say that.
00:18:35So money is important to you?
00:18:37Because you won't be making any here
00:18:38if you keep working like this.
00:18:40Think about it.
00:18:41I get it, Carla.
00:18:42I do.
00:18:43That's why I hired you.
00:18:45You believe what we do here is a way of life,
00:18:48not just as a way to make a buck.
00:18:49I admire that,
00:18:50but I can't keep paying you
00:18:51to run these spineless fools
00:18:52and their credit cards away from us.
00:18:54Exactly.
00:18:54They are spineless.
00:18:55And I'm trying to give them a spine
00:18:57so when I'm gone,
00:18:58they can stand on their own.
00:18:59Very noble of you,
00:19:00but if they don't make it through the program,
00:19:01they lose.
00:19:02You lose,
00:19:03and most importantly,
00:19:04I lose.
00:19:04I don't like to lose.
00:19:06Sorry,
00:19:07but we got a new client from a referral.
00:19:09Perfect.
00:19:11Here's your last chance.
00:19:14Fail and you're fired.
00:19:15Fired?
00:19:16I'm sorry, Carla.
00:19:17Business is business.
00:19:21Come on.
00:19:28So, do you think Scott's actually
00:19:29going to go through with the program?
00:19:30Well, they charge twice the national debt.
00:19:33If he doesn't, I'll kill him.
00:19:35Well, it would sort of defeat the purpose,
00:19:37don't you think?
00:19:41So, how's the reading coming?
00:19:45I'm about halfway through.
00:19:47Do you like it?
00:19:48You mean apart from the fact
00:19:50that it's blatantly anti-religious?
00:19:52Mm-hmm.
00:19:55Um,
00:19:56while Christopher Hitchens
00:19:57is an entertaining writer,
00:19:59I looked him up.
00:20:00Apparently,
00:20:01he has a reputation for...
00:20:04What's the word I'm looking for?
00:20:06Provocation?
00:20:08Stirring the pot?
00:20:09Annoying people?
00:20:15That is check.
00:20:16And I believe mate.
00:20:18I think you cheated.
00:20:21Mia, that would be very un-Christian of me.
00:20:24You do a lot of very un-Christian things.
00:20:26That is a lie.
00:20:26I do not.
00:20:27I don't like this game.
00:20:29I hate this game.
00:20:30I will never play this game with you again.
00:20:31That is definitely a lie.
00:20:32No lie.
00:20:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:20:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:21:12No, George, I'm telling you.
00:21:13She's lost it, man.
00:21:14It's not like before.
00:21:15Whoa!
00:21:16Yeah.
00:21:17Oh, whoa, watch out on your left, man.
00:21:18Enemy incoming.
00:21:20Yeah, no, it's like reprogramming
00:21:22or some crap.
00:21:23I mean, it's not like
00:21:24I'm going to meet these professionals
00:21:25all of a sudden like,
00:21:26hey, yeah, I want a fruit salad now.
00:21:28Yeah, right.
00:21:29Want to get some food?
00:21:30Oh, no, man.
00:21:31I'm waiting for a pizza right now.
00:21:33Hey, hold on a second.
00:21:34Don't play without me.
00:21:42Good morning, friend.
00:21:47We would like to share
00:21:47the good news with you today.
00:21:49God damn.
00:21:50If it was her knocking at my door,
00:21:52I might believe in God.
00:21:58Sorry about that, man.
00:21:58Cool.
00:22:00It's just Jehovah's Witnesses
00:22:02trying to save my soul
00:22:03and mind their pockets of money
00:22:05I don't have.
00:22:05Fuck yeah.
00:22:06Dude, what the hell?
00:22:07You killed me.
00:22:08You snooze, you lose.
00:22:10Whatever.
00:22:11I'm done.
00:22:11It's a game, dude.
00:22:13Catch you later.
00:22:14See ya.
00:22:34Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.
00:22:39Pizza, pizza, pizza.
00:22:41Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza.
00:22:47Hi. I'm sorry to bother you, but my company is doing a survey on how gluttony kills.
00:22:52We'd be super grateful if you'd answer a few questions for us.
00:22:55I'm sorry. I don't think I heard you properly.
00:22:57It was a joke. You look out of shape. In danger of losing a kidney, maybe.
00:23:02Are you Scott Stratton?
00:23:03Anyone ever tell you you need to work on your social skills?
00:23:08I'm sorry. Let's start again.
00:23:10I'm Carla Randall with Life Biotech. May I come in?
00:23:19So, have you ever heard of my company, Life Biotech?
00:23:23No. Should I have?
00:23:25Probably not. We don't do much advertising.
00:23:28What we do is help people with personality disorders, addictions, esteem issues, substance abuse,
00:23:37poor hygiene, lack of taste or style, basically anything that gets in the way of a successful and healthy life.
00:23:44Wow. That sounds awful. You must be very unhappy.
00:23:49So, remember that hard ass? Well, this is her. A.k.a. the neo-fascist life coach everyone else calls
00:23:57Carla.
00:23:59Apparently, my sister has a hard on for uptight bitchy women that are easy on the eyes.
00:24:03I love my job. Is that you?
00:24:07Mm-hmm.
00:24:08So, you used to be fit. What happened?
00:24:12I got older. Priorities shift.
00:24:14That's unacceptable.
00:24:16Mr. Stratton, we're gonna turn back the clock. Get you healthy again.
00:24:20It's very satisfying to see a slob such as yourself realize his full potential.
00:24:25Great. What the hell did Mia get me into?
00:24:28Mia? Is that your girlfriend?
00:24:30No. Mia's my sister. She's been nagging me relentlessly about my lifestyle for years.
00:24:37She's the one that set all this up. That's why you're here.
00:24:39So, you didn't call? You don't want to make a change?
00:24:42Nope.
00:24:43I'm not leaving because I'm here to do a job.
00:24:46I'm not kicking you out. Mia would kill me if I even tried.
00:24:50So, looks like you're stuck with me. So, what happens now?
00:24:53You, uh, sit here, watch me get drunk, masturbate,
00:24:58to men in white coats come and whisk me away to some desert facility?
00:25:03Not quite. But if we have to do that later,
00:25:06it usually involves a lot of testing and anal probing.
00:25:09That's too bad because I had visions of palm trees and pools
00:25:12and rubbing shoulders with Hollywood starlets.
00:25:15Aw, nice fantasy. But no.
00:25:18We prefer to channel our resources into effective therapy
00:25:21rather than expensive real estate.
00:25:23Do you mind if I ask you some introductory questions?
00:25:26I need total honesty with your answers, Scott.
00:25:28And then we'll do a full panel of blood tests later.
00:25:30Blood tests?
00:25:32Jeez, I-I make sure Mia gets her money's worth.
00:25:35Do you use drugs? Heroin, marijuana, cocaine, that sort of thing?
00:25:39Every day!
00:25:42For the love of God, it's about time!
00:25:47Keep talking, that's my pizza.
00:25:49And what about more socially acceptable drugs like alcohol, tobacco, caffeine?
00:25:54You know, I drink from time to time, same as everybody else.
00:25:59But, uh, smoking's disgusting, so that's a big negativo on that one.
00:26:05And with drinking, what's Scott's definition of from time to time?
00:26:11Oh, I'll save this for later unless you want a slice.
00:26:14No, thank you.
00:26:15What does time to time mean?
00:26:20I don't drink every day.
00:26:21I'm sure that's hard for you to believe.
00:26:23Why wouldn't I believe you?
00:26:24I imagine that you don't show up unless people have hit rock bottom.
00:26:29I haven't.
00:26:30I'm in control.
00:26:33This is in control?
00:26:35It's wonderful, Scott, that you've not hit rock bottom.
00:26:38It means the mountain you have to climb isn't as big as it could be.
00:26:43I heard you were fired.
00:26:45So in this wonderful lifestyle you choose to live, you have nothing but time to work with me.
00:26:51Yay for me.
00:26:52I take that as a yes.
00:26:53Good.
00:26:55Here's the address to the lab.
00:26:57Your appointment time is on the back.
00:26:58The tests are mandatory for insurance and liability reasons.
00:27:07No, Mia.
00:27:08They took like a gallon of blood and they hooked me up to like every machine they had in the
00:27:12office.
00:27:13I had to run on a treadmill with like a hundred wires coming off my body.
00:27:19Yeah, I don't know about this Carla chick either.
00:27:22I mean, she's really abrasive.
00:27:26Well, I think she's going to be the death of me.
00:27:31It's a good person.
00:27:33It helps me with a lot of other individuals.
00:27:33It's just a few months at the front.
00:27:35Yeah, it's good.
00:27:37Like I was talking about, I...
00:27:41I don't know?
00:27:44I think she's really angry.
00:27:46It's like I'm going to be a good person for children.
00:27:47I don't know.
00:27:47I don't know.
00:27:47You're like...
00:27:47I'm sorry.
00:27:48I don't know.
00:27:48It's not going to be better.
00:27:49If I'm sorry.
00:27:51I don't know.
00:27:59So, Mr. Stratton, how does it feel to be a spineless, oxygen-wasting loser?
00:28:05Good Lord, do you even try to be nice?
00:28:08You did say I'm stuck with you, so we need to get it through your head that your lifestyle isn't
00:28:13helping you.
00:28:14Help me do what? You know, enjoy life? I think I got that covered.
00:28:18You're not listening.
00:28:19There's nothing wrong with my hearing.
00:28:21It's been a week since we met, Scott, and I have your test results here.
00:28:25We have to get you to wake up.
00:28:28That's great, Carla, and what if I don't want to cooperate with your little rehab scheme?
00:28:31And from this point on, I hold all the strings in your life.
00:28:35Unless you'd rather swap me for a real bruiser, mid-50s, ex-Marine, old-school traditionalist.
00:28:41You'll do for now. Just let's get on with it. I've got things to do.
00:28:46You are in serious trouble. You're a binge drinker, right?
00:28:52You know, go out on the weekends with your buddies, drink to get wasted, throw up and have a massive
00:28:56hangover the next day.
00:28:57Special occasions only. Days ending in Y.
00:29:03You're an idiot.
00:29:04Sticks and stones may break my bones.
00:29:06Oh, that's good. Real mature, Scott.
00:29:09Is getting wasted really that great?
00:29:12You do it because you're not in control of your life.
00:29:15Plain and simple.
00:29:17My job is to help you gain back that control.
00:29:22We used to pack people off to boot camp and they'd smarten up for a while.
00:29:26And then they'd regress when they got home because nothing in their environment had changed.
00:29:33Starting tomorrow, you will reduce your alcohol intake by half.
00:29:36Are you with me?
00:29:37Sir! Yes, sir!
00:29:39And I apologize for being a defective, stupid human and I hope to improve, sir!
00:29:46All right, Mr. Stratton, let's see what you can do.
00:29:51I'll be back in a week.
00:29:53So don't even think about cutting corners.
00:29:55And please, God, clean this place up.
00:29:57It's a pigsty.
00:29:58How do you even get laid?
00:29:59Hey, I get laid?
00:30:01They call me the sexy beast.
00:30:04Beast is right.
00:30:06Hey!
00:30:12Have you ever noticed that half the people on these internet dating services look like
00:30:15they're one minute away from Root Canal?
00:30:17I mean, whatever happened to smiling?
00:30:19You know, we actually agree on something.
00:30:22Oh, God.
00:30:25Besides, I would think it would be basic common sense anyway.
00:30:27Yeah.
00:30:28Smiling.
00:30:29Anyway, what happened to Warren?
00:30:31Warren was abducted by a UFO.
00:30:32No, I'm just, I'm not ready to fill out a profile.
00:30:34I'm just...
00:30:35You know what you should do?
00:30:37Fill one of those out for Carla and put her pictures on there.
00:30:40I'm sorry.
00:30:41I value my life too much.
00:30:42I don't care how much Carla needs to get laid.
00:30:43I am not putting my life on the line.
00:30:46She'd probably find something wrong with them all anyway.
00:30:49I mean, she totally would.
00:30:49You should see the way she talks about her clients.
00:30:51This one has too many nose hairs.
00:30:52This next one has potential but is a lost cause.
00:30:54She is so stressed about losing her job and I'm concerned about her.
00:30:59Bill's not going to fire her.
00:31:00But don't tell her.
00:31:01She needs the kick.
00:31:11Do you want to try?
00:31:14Why should I?
00:31:16Oh, this sucks.
00:31:18Maybe if veggies tasted better, you know, like deep fried and battered and like French fried
00:31:25vegetables, broccoli, that would, that would be good.
00:31:30Ugh, they're just going to both keep on nagging me.
00:32:22Hey, Charney, what's happening?
00:32:24No, man, I'm just taking a nap on the couch.
00:32:27We're about to head down to Surf Street for half years.
00:32:29Oh, yeah? Wait, hold on a second.
00:32:32Ugh, Carla.
00:32:34Pfft.
00:32:34Problem?
00:32:35No, sorry about that, man.
00:32:37Um...
00:32:37Come with.
00:32:38We're gonna kill her tonight.
00:32:40Oh, yeah.
00:32:40I really shouldn't.
00:32:42Can't.
00:32:42Why not?
00:32:43Because, man.
00:32:43I don't really have the money right now.
00:32:45I got you, man.
00:32:46You know that.
00:32:46Oh, yeah?
00:32:47All right, cool.
00:32:49I'll see you in a little bit.
00:32:50All right.
00:32:56Oh, leave me alone, Carla.
00:33:06Thanks again, Asha.
00:33:10Oh, nothing special about him that I've noticed.
00:33:14Heavy drinker, needs to lose weight.
00:33:16Nothing between the ears.
00:33:19Yeah.
00:33:22Um, I mean, maybe he could be cute if he actually gave a damn.
00:33:26Now, I'm going to start off the same time.
00:33:53All right.
00:33:56Of course, we're going to do that.
00:34:06Come on, it's who a guy is inside, right?
00:34:09And, I mean, hot girls date and marry fat guys all the time.
00:34:14Your body's just a shell.
00:34:17Oh, man, Carla has one hell of a shell, though.
00:34:21She's such a bitch and a pain in the ass.
00:34:23I mean, I might clean for neighbor girl, but, come on, she wouldn't ask.
00:34:31Oh, Carla's gonna be here in ten minutes.
00:34:34Oh!
00:34:36See what she's doing to me?
00:34:37This sucks!
00:35:21Dammit, Hidgins.
00:35:33Oh, hey, you didn't say you were going to watch this without me, Mia.
00:35:37It was an impulse decision.
00:35:38You were at church.
00:35:39See?
00:35:40Bad things happen when you go to church.
00:35:43Well, whatever.
00:35:44It's for the better anyway, because it was a depressing movie.
00:35:46What?
00:35:47Are you nuts?
00:35:49It's a great movie, and I happen to know you loved it.
00:35:52Well, it's depressed.
00:35:54You were saying?
00:35:55Yeah, well, it's a depressed movie because apparently it did really poorly at the box office,
00:36:01and excellent movies need to do well so that we can have more excellent movies
00:36:06and not remakes and reboots and reimagining.
00:36:09It's all the other garbage that we get.
00:36:11You know what I'm saying?
00:36:12Yes, I do.
00:36:13Do you care about your life at all?
00:36:16You know, I have better things to do than waste my time,
00:36:19and someone else's hard-earned money
00:36:21on a person who obviously has no interest in helping themselves.
00:36:25I cleaned, and I swear I drank less.
00:36:30That's a big change.
00:36:32For me.
00:36:37All right, you say you're slowing down.
00:36:39Fine.
00:36:41Let's tackle something else then, all right?
00:36:44Like what?
00:36:45Food.
00:36:47Your weight.
00:36:48I mean, alcohol isn't the only thing killing you.
00:36:51You have a very poor diet, and exercise is non-existent.
00:36:56Apart from bending your elbow and drinking, of course.
00:36:58Okay, I get the point.
00:37:01You must really hate people like me.
00:37:05Hate is a pretty strong word.
00:37:09I admit I fantasize about inflicting mild pain on my brainless clients from time to time.
00:37:18I'm a little scared now.
00:37:25My dad died a few years ago.
00:37:28For all the same reasons you will if you don't change.
00:37:34Before that, it was just a job I enjoyed.
00:37:42I think I'll take you on a little field trip.
00:37:45I'm not going to like it, am I?
00:37:56I'm not going to like it, am I?
00:37:59No problem.
00:38:07So we need to talk.
00:38:10Okay.
00:38:13Let me guess.
00:38:14Kitchen's book?
00:38:16Did you finish reading it?
00:38:19Yes, and I think this is for the best.
00:38:24I've been spending a lot of time with Father Begovich over at St. Patrick's,
00:38:28and we both agree that you need to go see him right away.
00:38:33And I should do that because...
00:38:35Holy water.
00:38:36You need a bath in it right away, but don't worry.
00:38:38There will be nuns there to help you.
00:38:41You almost had me there.
00:38:42Yeah.
00:38:46Seriously?
00:38:47You know, the other half of my apple is still over there.
00:38:49Would you like that too?
00:38:50I'll fight you for it.
00:38:52Really?
00:38:53Yeah.
00:38:54Or a missile.
00:38:55Well, you just want to keep holding my hand, don't you?
00:38:59On the count of three.
00:38:59Ready?
00:39:00One, two, three.
00:39:03You cheater!
00:39:04You cheat every time.
00:39:06See, I knew you cheated, Chad.
00:39:07This is mine still.
00:39:09Oh good, I licked all the pieces.
00:39:10Gross!
00:39:21Go on.
00:39:22What are you waiting for?
00:39:25Here, let me help.
00:39:27Open up!
00:39:29Don't be shy.
00:39:30Come on, there's two more tubs after this one.
00:39:34Yeah!
00:39:37Yes!
00:39:39Oh please.
00:39:41You need this nutritional, too.
00:39:42Oh goodness.
00:39:49Man.
00:39:52Her here is Latin.
00:40:05Oh my goodness.
00:40:10Gosh.
00:40:10Let's go.
00:40:42Hi, Scott.
00:40:45Clearly, I did not lock the back door.
00:40:47I just wanted to check in on you.
00:40:49You mean you wanted to check in and see how your investment's going?
00:40:52Not well.
00:40:53Damn it, Scott.
00:40:53What is wrong with you?
00:40:55Do you know how much this costs?
00:40:57And you're not even trying?
00:40:59What about you, huh?
00:41:00I'm fine.
00:41:02I don't need a sitter.
00:41:03What about Kathy?
00:41:04I mean, you've been in love with her your entire life,
00:41:06and how long have you lived with her?
00:41:08I don't see you handling that.
00:41:11That's not fair.
00:41:12How she feels about me isn't something I can change.
00:41:18She's never even had a boyfriend.
00:41:22She is who she is, okay?
00:41:25At least I have her as my friend.
00:41:27Fine.
00:41:27You know, I am trying, though.
00:41:29You know, I drank less, and the damn machine said the same thing.
00:41:32No change.
00:41:32I tried cleaning this place, and Carla said it's still not clean.
00:41:39Yeah, well, to be honest, it might take a whole crew of people to get this place clean.
00:41:42Oh.
00:41:43Mm-hmm.
00:41:44You know, she took me to the hospital today to visit some diapetic patients?
00:41:49Seeing severed limbs is a real downer, followed by lecture number 78 for the week.
00:41:54I mean, I don't know.
00:41:57There's no satisfying Madam Hitler.
00:41:59If you think I'm letting you out of this, you're wrong.
00:42:02I hear Carla's the best and very persistent.
00:42:06Look, I know you hate both of us right now, but this is all about love.
00:42:10My love for you, my dear underachieving brother.
00:42:14I want to keep you around.
00:42:15Why don't you stop before you give me all teary, all right?
00:42:18I'll keep trying.
00:42:21Despite the fear, just know that you're killing me.
00:42:23I will kill you with my bare hands if you don't grow a backbone.
00:42:28All right, I'm late for dinner.
00:42:30I gotta go.
00:42:32Love you.
00:42:33I love you, too.
00:42:37I think it's gone beyond rage and frustration to something nasty and violent.
00:42:42Ugh, that can't be good.
00:42:44Yep.
00:42:45All I want to do is slap that stupid face of his really hard.
00:42:48Poor Carla.
00:42:49Hey, this will cheer you up.
00:42:50You know how Warren's been driving me madly to top off the truth face and all?
00:42:54Yeah, I don't want to hear any more moron stories, Lucy.
00:42:58Okay, you will like this.
00:42:59He is officially cured.
00:43:01What?
00:43:01How did that happen?
00:43:02Did you use a whip or something?
00:43:03No, no violence, though I was tempted.
00:43:06All I did was think of what he loves the most.
00:43:09Sports, beer, TV, and me.
00:43:11Pretty much in that order.
00:43:13Ah, and then I remembered sex.
00:43:15I mean, no sex.
00:43:16I worked for Lysistrata.
00:43:18She got all the men to end the Peloponnesian War by cleverly telling all the women to withhold
00:43:22all sex.
00:43:23It is the number one thing on every guy's list.
00:43:25Well, maybe number two.
00:43:26So, I gave him an ultimatum.
00:43:29My way or no sex.
00:43:32And just like that, he changed?
00:43:34Well, almost.
00:43:35There was a tantrum, some pleading, and a lot of begging.
00:43:39Hmm, that sounds kind of hot.
00:43:41Right.
00:43:42And after a few days of intensive training, victory was mine, and he has been obedient
00:43:48ever since.
00:43:49So, you trained him like a dog?
00:43:50Well, my sister did tell me teaching her one-year-old is a lot like training a puppy.
00:43:56Good for you, Lucy.
00:43:58Good for you.
00:44:01Well, I have some work to do, so I will see you tomorrow at the office.
00:44:05Good night.
00:44:07Good night.
00:44:25Good night.
00:44:55Good night.
00:45:25Good night.
00:45:32So, can you flirt?
00:45:36Yes, I can.
00:45:39Can you lead him on?
00:45:42Yes, I can.
00:45:45As a supposedly heterosexual male, will he pay attention?
00:45:48Yes, he will.
00:45:51And if the tease actually helps him to reach his target, will it be good for him?
00:45:57Yes, indeed!
00:46:06I have something for you, Scott.
00:46:22I want you to eat it now, please.
00:46:24Please?
00:46:25Are you okay?
00:46:30I was discussing a case with a colleague recently.
00:46:35Overweight guy, early 50s, not a drinker, surprisingly.
00:46:40Avoided exercise all his life and had terrible eating habits.
00:46:45Keep eating.
00:46:47Good boy.
00:46:52And then you pray for a miracle cure or a pill, and, well, those are about as rare as a
00:46:57guy not thinking about sex every five seconds.
00:47:03Apple wasn't very good. Sorry.
00:47:07I apologize.
00:47:09I'm joking. I'm just trying to diffuse the tension as you link me to your 50-year-old obese dead
00:47:17guy.
00:47:23Scott.
00:47:24Scott.
00:47:30Do you find me attractive?
00:47:35I mean, you've got the face only a mother could love, and your hands are too big, and for a
00:47:45below-average woman, no, not at all.
00:47:49Scott, that's a really silly answer.
00:47:59I find the male obsession with sex quite fascinating.
00:48:04Passion for porn, the fact that the world's oldest profession is what it is.
00:48:10I suppose it dates back to the Stone Age, where you had to mate quickly because you weren't likely to
00:48:16live long.
00:48:17Men are so hardwired.
00:48:19Yeah, I mean, in my own extensive research, Mother Nature is to blame.
00:48:25You know, in the good old days, you never knew when a saber-toothed tiger was going to come along
00:48:28and just rip you to shreds.
00:48:30So you just had to grab the best woman that you could find and mate as quickly as possible.
00:48:35So, you know, sex is the most basic instinct.
00:48:41Yes, I agree, Professor.
00:48:44You men have no choice in the matter?
00:48:48No, no chance of escaping Mother Nature.
00:48:50I mean, that's why we're always on the prowl, assessing our situations, you know, trying to hump anything that walks
00:48:57by.
00:48:59Sex is as natural as breathing.
00:49:04Oh, hold on, you have a piece of something on your cheek.
00:49:10It was just a fluff.
00:49:13I like your perfume.
00:49:15I'm not wearing any.
00:49:18Anyway, Scott, you need to work really hard this week, and it would make me really happy.
00:49:30Will you make me happy?
00:49:32Heck yeah.
00:49:35I mean, yeah.
00:49:42What if an attractive woman offered you a night of mind-blowing, fantasy-fulfilling, wild animal sex in exchange for
00:49:55you turning your health around, really making a commitment?
00:50:00Would that be a good enough incentive for you?
00:50:07What if I made the offer?
00:50:12Girl, you're so funny.
00:50:17Hey, are you serious?
00:50:21You always have to find out.
00:50:24You always have to find out.
00:50:45What if an Isaiah?
00:50:47Look at me.
00:50:49Ah.
00:50:51Ah.
00:50:53Ah.
00:50:56Ah.
00:50:58Ah.
00:50:59Ah.
00:50:59Ah.
00:51:02Ah.
00:51:03Hey, are you all right?
00:51:07Are you okay? I thought I was going to have to do mouth to mouth.
00:51:11I'm still a little crying. I might pass out in a minute.
00:51:16You live next door to me, but don't worry. I'm going to call 911.
00:51:19No, no, no. I'm okay. I'm fine. You can go.
00:51:23Are you sure? Yeah.
00:51:31Scott, I need a second opinion. Do you think my breasts are too small?
00:51:36Wow, Carla, that's an interesting question.
00:51:39And yes, you should take off your top so that I could get a better, clearer view.
00:51:45Just so I could give you a purely honest and scientific answer.
00:51:50Maybe you should touch them too.
00:52:18Let's see what you got, Scott.
00:52:31All right, Mr. Stratton. I think it's time to step it up a notch.
00:52:50See, look. I mean, that's progress. You know, I'm going to need to buy some new clothes soon.
00:53:00What we often do with clients, Scott, is try and steer them into a more stimulating lifestyle.
00:53:06People are less likely to head off to the bar if they're curious about a new book, film, music.
00:53:12Wouldn't that keep the fatties from going to the gym too?
00:53:16Scott, the new test results show an improvement. It's not a huge one, but you were dead in the water
00:53:22before, so it's actual progress.
00:53:25I'm pleased.
00:53:28You still need to work harder though, okay?
00:53:30I mean, this first step is good, but you have to build on it.
00:53:35I know you can do it.
00:53:36It's been hard, Carla.
00:53:38I know. It gets easier.
00:53:43Oh, I'll show you up.
00:54:06Get your feet off my pillows.
00:54:09So, what did you think of the cure?
00:54:12They were full of happy optimism in the early days, huh?
00:54:15Yeah, kind of the ultimate in sunny, breezy pop.
00:54:19But, I liked it.
00:54:20So, thank you for introducing me to them.
00:54:23I love the pop period.
00:54:25Any other dark periods I should know about?
00:54:27Okay, well, after Faith came Pornography.
00:54:31I love that title.
00:54:33Right, which makes Faith sound like premium Beach Boys.
00:54:36Mm-hmm.
00:54:38Let's see.
00:54:38And after that came the top.
00:54:40Mm-hmm.
00:54:41Right, then head on the door.
00:54:42Mm-hmm.
00:54:43Then kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.
00:54:47So, what are you trying to tell me?
00:55:04Oh, 50 goddamn push-ups.
00:55:07Sit-ups.
00:55:08I don't even know what I'm doing.
00:55:09Oh, my God.
00:55:12So, Bill and Asher are married.
00:55:14And I'm, yeah, I'm still with Warren the Neanderthal.
00:55:16And Carla...
00:55:17Oh, God.
00:55:18No, like, the last guy she dated was so hot.
00:55:20In fact, all her guys have been, like, so good-looking.
00:55:23It's just that...
00:55:24I don't know.
00:55:24We seem to be whacking on, like, the intelligence.
00:55:27It's like, one plus one equals, like, six.
00:55:30No, no, no.
00:55:30She's really smart.
00:55:32She's into, like, world affairs and everything.
00:55:33It's just that the average beefcake is more, like, into their body.
00:55:37Or, I should say, into Carla's body.
00:55:43The sprinkler came on outside just as I was walking in.
00:55:46I'm soaked.
00:55:47Do you have a towel I can use?
00:55:50Is it okay if I use your shower?
00:55:53You can join me if you want.
00:56:08What are you doing?
00:56:17Oh, yeah.
00:56:19I'm getting better.
00:56:25Mm.
00:56:27Mm.
00:56:28Mm.
00:56:29Mm.
00:56:29Mm.
00:56:30Mm.
00:56:31Mm.
00:56:32Mm.
00:56:49Are you doing all right there?
00:57:10Do I do two on the other side?
00:57:12Do I do two on the other side?
00:57:14Do I do two on the other side?
00:57:43Do I do two on the other side?
00:57:44Do I do two on the other side?
00:57:56Do I do two on the other side?
00:58:11Do I do two on the other side?
00:58:37You're looking more delightful than ever.
00:58:40It is hot out there.
00:58:42Can I get some water, please?
00:58:44Absolutely.
00:58:55Oh, thank you.
00:59:02Are you just staring at my boobs?
00:59:04No, I, um, well, I might have accidentally glanced down.
00:59:10You know what?
00:59:11No, I was looking at them.
00:59:13I mean, when you're wearing a sexy dress like that, I mean, how's the guy not supposed to
00:59:17look down?
00:59:18I mean, it's like having a sign over your head that says, hey, look at me.
00:59:20I've got some boobs.
00:59:21We've got to look at them.
00:59:22I mean, come on.
00:59:24Women have been doing this for centuries, wearing different variations of low-cut tops with shiny,
00:59:30dangling necklaces pointing down at them, begging men to look.
00:59:34And then they denigrate the onlooker.
00:59:37Oh, I was talking to him and his eyes kept on dropping to my breast.
00:59:41His sleazy eyes.
00:59:42I mean, come on.
00:59:45Ow.
00:59:47Easy.
00:59:48Sorry about the boobs.
00:59:49Oh, no.
00:59:50It wasn't about them.
00:59:51I've just been wanting to smack you since you were a spineless zero, that's all.
00:59:55But you were right about the boobs.
00:59:58I wanted to show them off and I'm glad they weren't ignored.
01:00:01Now, let's move on.
01:00:02No, wait.
01:00:03This is the most interesting conversation we've ever had.
01:00:07Scott, you're making some real improvements.
01:00:10Your numbers are coming into a more acceptable range.
01:00:12Your blood pressure's coming down.
01:00:14You seem to have some real momentum going.
01:00:17Oh.
01:00:20And your encouragement means a lot, but no more slapping.
01:00:24I'm not taking the violence.
01:00:32Blood diamond?
01:00:35Capitalism a love story?
01:00:37You're not a communist, are you?
01:00:40Well, I am wearing red panties.
01:00:42Oh, you're killing me.
01:00:46I'll tell you what.
01:00:47I'll watch both these if you watch 300 and Sin City.
01:00:52Deal.
01:00:53Have you recovered?
01:00:56You know the expression, kiss it and make it better.
01:01:02Don't forget you're with Asha today at the gym and your lab appointment is tomorrow.
01:01:14Goodbye.
01:01:21Mmm.
01:01:21I don't know why you cut these so small.
01:01:25Hey, Miss Piggy.
01:01:26What?
01:01:27How do you even do that?
01:01:28How the hell can I do what?
01:01:30Stuff your mouth like that.
01:01:32How can you savor the flavor?
01:01:35I can taste it just fine.
01:01:36I know.
01:01:37You're so sophisticated.
01:01:39Mmm.
01:01:39But honestly, if I took as long to eat as you did, it would take me a year to finish
01:01:43the
01:01:43plate.
01:01:44Yum.
01:01:45Gross.
01:01:47So.
01:01:48What?
01:01:48You know those are really high in fat.
01:01:50Mmm.
01:01:51Mmm.
01:01:51Really bad for you.
01:01:55So I have a question for you.
01:01:56Mmm.
01:01:56Are you going to be going to church today?
01:01:59Mmm.
01:01:59Why don't you ask God what is up with everything good being so bad for you?
01:02:04I mean what's the deal with like chocolate and ice cream and donuts and fudge.
01:02:08Fudge.
01:02:09Mmm.
01:02:09Mmm.
01:02:10I mean to be honest with you I'm kind of wrestling with the whole existence of it anyway.
01:02:14Of chocolate?
01:02:15Oh it's real.
01:02:16Oh God.
01:02:17But you know, now that Mr. Hitchens has passed on, maybe he's finally getting the answers
01:02:22we all want.
01:02:23Well you can ask God at the same time.
01:02:25Maybe he'll talk to Hitchens and see what's up.
01:02:30No.
01:02:31That's mine.
01:02:32I'll flip you for it.
01:02:33You have a quarter?
01:02:34Fine.
01:02:34No.
01:02:34Do you?
01:02:35No.
01:02:37Come on man.
01:02:38Look man, I'm not going out drinking with you guys tonight.
01:02:40Loser.
01:02:41No.
01:02:42That does not make me a loser.
01:02:44What then?
01:02:45A gym junkie?
01:02:46No, I'm not becoming a gym junkie either.
01:02:49What I am, is not feeling so lethargic anymore.
01:02:52Got your mojo back.
01:02:53Yeah, I might even start skating again.
01:02:55No way.
01:02:56Right?
01:02:58You know, I don't miss being constantly hungover anymore.
01:03:01You don't miss wrecking?
01:03:02It's a good thing.
01:03:03You're a pussy bitch.
01:03:04Hey, what was the last book you read?
01:03:05Playgirl?
01:03:06And no, nothing with naked women counts.
01:03:29It's not polite to ignore your savior.
01:03:32Did you chicken on Carla for me?
01:03:35Mr. Stratton is making great progress and I told Carla you're very proud of her.
01:03:39Good.
01:03:40The last thing I want to do is fire her or lose her to another company.
01:03:46So...
01:03:48Yes?
01:03:49I told you so.
01:03:51You're just going to say I told you so.
01:04:01Hello.
01:04:03Spottens?
01:04:04What's your profession?
01:04:05Huh!
01:04:07Is that my favorite life coach and freshly minted fan of the greatest movie?
01:04:13Yes.
01:04:13And possibly a second yes.
01:04:17I have to admit, you were right about both films.
01:04:20Yeah, you got that right.
01:04:22So how did you do with the two I gave you?
01:04:24Yeah, they were good.
01:04:25I really liked Blood Diamond.
01:04:27You know, it made me think I gotta be more careful about all the diamonds that I buy.
01:04:34So what did you think of the Sepia Tonin 300 and the black and white with the splashes of color
01:04:39in Sin City?
01:04:40Yeah, it was...
01:04:41It made for a striking combo with all the violence and the sublime beauty.
01:04:46I'll never look at drops of blood flying through the air the same ever again.
01:04:52Exactly.
01:04:52You gotta find beauty in everything.
01:04:54Right.
01:04:56This world is tough enough.
01:04:58It's the simplest things in life that are so beautiful if people would just open their eyes.
01:05:04Like a smear of wispy, sierras clouds.
01:05:08Golden light close to sunset.
01:05:11Brightly colored flower.
01:05:13A naked woman.
01:05:14A naked man.
01:05:17You know, sometimes you surprise me.
01:05:20Part of me still sees you as this crazy uptight lady that showed up at my doorstep to insult me.
01:05:25Sorry about that.
01:05:26Who would have known it'd be this easy to get you to change?
01:05:30A little bit of trigger goes a long way.
01:05:32Yeah, I guess you're right.
01:05:36Do you like electronica?
01:05:38Yeah, something I guess.
01:05:39I really like the indie rock that's becoming mainstream now.
01:05:42Like OTA, M83, Group Love?
01:05:45Yeah, I dig them.
01:05:47Hmm.
01:05:48I'm surprised we like the same music.
01:05:51It's nice to know that I'm not the most revolting guy on the planet.
01:05:55Who told you that?
01:05:56I just, uh...
01:06:00Kidding.
01:06:00Uh-huh.
01:06:03Funny.
01:06:05Well, um, it's getting really chilly, so I guess I should put some clothes on and go to bed.
01:06:10You're naked?
01:06:11Mm-hmm.
01:06:12Goodnight, Scott.
01:06:13Wait, I, um...
01:06:15Sleep well.
01:06:17You do.
01:06:46Without a habit, please.
01:06:50You're okay.
01:06:50It'sin' a little piece.
01:06:53It's okay.
01:06:54You can't wait.
01:06:55Is it history?
01:06:56It's not history.
01:06:56It's a lot of people.
01:06:56It's about history.
01:06:56We're not good.
01:06:57It's about history.
01:06:58It's really cool.
01:06:59Let's walk around,
01:06:59As we walk around,
01:07:00you can't wait.
01:07:16All right, all right, I have a new one for you.
01:07:18What kind of computer sings?
01:07:20I don't know.
01:07:22Adele?
01:07:22Oh, that sounds stupid.
01:07:24Wait, I have a better one.
01:07:25What's brown and sticky?
01:07:27I don't know the answer to that.
01:07:28Yes, you do.
01:07:28It's sick.
01:07:29Scott!
01:07:31You guys all cozy in public?
01:07:32Wow, look at you.
01:07:34You look great.
01:07:35Yeah.
01:07:36Oh, my God, wow.
01:07:37I mean, Mia said you made some progress, but this is pretty amazing.
01:07:40Oh, sorry, I don't think either of you have met Carla before.
01:07:43She's the one really responsible for this.
01:07:45Carla, this is Mia, my sister, and this is her...
01:07:49Kathy, hi, her roommate.
01:07:50Hi, Kathy, nice to meet you.
01:07:51Nice to meet you.
01:07:51Mia, it's a pleasure.
01:07:53I hear you're the real reason he put in the work.
01:07:55Well, you know, I was ready to kill him, but it looks like he worked a miracle.
01:07:59That was just my job.
01:08:00It was extra special beating on Scots.
01:08:04I know, we all kind of like to feed on him a little bit.
01:08:07So, how's the job?
01:08:08Yeah, it's...
01:08:09Wait, you didn't tell me you got a job?
01:08:11Yeah, didn't I?
01:08:12I'm over at Mason and Preston.
01:08:14Good salary, full benefits, and after training next week, suit and tie every day.
01:08:19At least you'll finally look good in one.
01:08:22Thanks.
01:08:22We got a takeoff, but it's great to see you.
01:08:24Oh, you too.
01:08:26Come on.
01:08:26Come on.
01:08:27Oh, you guys, this is really sweet.
01:08:29Oh, come on.
01:08:29No, okay.
01:08:30It's a family moment.
01:08:32All right, see you guys.
01:08:33See you.
01:08:33Bye.
01:08:34Bye.
01:08:35Bye.
01:08:42I'm sorry, Scott.
01:08:44What I did was deceitful.
01:08:47I just was trying to dangle a carrot.
01:08:50It worked.
01:08:52Hey, you look great now.
01:08:54I mean, we can be mature adults about this and just move on.
01:08:57I'm sure you don't want to see me again anyway.
01:09:01It wasn't a trick.
01:09:03It was a strategy.
01:09:05Come on, that's like a distinction without a difference.
01:09:09Why am I even confessing?
01:09:10This is crazy.
01:09:13Although it would be nice to get laid.
01:09:20Stop stressing.
01:09:21I get it.
01:09:21You like her.
01:09:22No, it's not that.
01:09:24All right, not totally that.
01:09:25It's just that next week, it's our last session.
01:09:28And then I start my new job and my new life, really.
01:09:30And I just want to get her something nice.
01:09:33You know how to thank her.
01:09:34You know, she's not your girlfriend.
01:09:36She's really just been doing her job.
01:09:38No, she's into me.
01:09:39Yeah, I think.
01:09:40I mean, I hope.
01:09:43Well, for what it's worth, I like her, too.
01:09:46So why don't you just get her some fancy chocolate?
01:09:49Can't go wrong with chocolate.
01:09:50Okay.
01:09:52You know what?
01:09:53And no matter what happens, you should be proud of yourself.
01:09:57You've done it.
01:10:00Dad would be proud.
01:10:02Right.
01:10:03Oh, except for one more thing.
01:10:05Get rid of that animal in your face before you start your new job.
01:10:08Fair enough.
01:10:09No girl's going to want to kiss Dad, either.
01:10:11Done deal.
01:10:35So, Scott, do you know what I feel like doing?
01:10:39Good night.
01:10:51I just wanna talk to you.
01:11:02guitar solo
01:11:30guitar solo
01:12:02guitar solo
01:12:32guitar solo
01:12:54guitar solo
01:13:03Man, I never thought I'd feel this way about someone.
01:13:08I never thought my fridge would look like this either.
01:13:13guitar solo
01:13:26guitar solo
01:13:38guitar solo
01:13:49guitar solo
01:13:56guitar solo
01:14:03guitar solo
01:14:35guitar solo
01:14:36guitar solo
01:14:37guitar solo
01:14:42guitar solo
01:14:45guitar solo
01:14:46Um, you just look so good.
01:14:54So, I need to tell you something that I don't really know how to say because I've never been in
01:15:02this position before.
01:15:05But, um, I decided to try a different approach to try to try to try to try a different approach
01:15:13with you because I wasn't seeing any progress.
01:15:46I've been thinking about this for a really long time.
01:15:49Regardless of the consequences,
01:15:51I felt like you deserved the truth.
01:15:55Wow.
01:15:57Well, the words, uh,
01:15:58what Klein and Singer
01:16:00certainly seem appropriate, don't they?
01:16:03Gullible, stupid.
01:16:06Got to mourn. Get out.
01:16:10Go.
01:16:19Thanks for nothing.
01:16:33So you don't think I did anything wrong?
01:16:35Of all the mean, forceful, embarrassing things you've done to clients,
01:16:38you think being nice and sweet and flirty is so horrible?
01:16:42But he trusted me.
01:16:43So did every other client you were successful with.
01:16:46Bottom line is you got the job done.
01:16:48And everyone around here thinks you're happier than ever.
01:16:53Hey there.
01:16:53Yeah.
01:16:54What's wrong?
01:16:57Nothing.
01:17:01Um...
01:17:03I don't know, I just...
01:17:08You know, I've just really missed out on a lot.
01:17:12You know, um...
01:17:15Like...
01:17:16Movies I haven't seen.
01:17:19Books I haven't read.
01:17:21And...
01:17:22Music I've never listened to.
01:17:24I just feel like a child.
01:17:27I'm so stupid.
01:17:30There's so much we've missed.
01:17:32And, um...
01:17:34I just don't really know where I've been.
01:17:40What's really going on, Kat?
01:17:44The book you gave me just...
01:17:49I don't know.
01:17:50I just think...
01:17:51Ever since I read it, I think nothing has been the same.
01:17:55I've been questioning everything and...
01:18:00I don't know how to tell you this.
01:18:02I just...
01:18:04I think I might be gay.
01:18:09Gay.
01:18:10Really, sweetie?
01:18:17Have you alerted the Republican Party?
01:18:19What?
01:18:20Or the Pope?
01:18:22You're making fun of me.
01:18:24No, no, sweetie.
01:18:27I'm just happy the repression is finally over.
01:18:32Wait, are you saying you knew?
01:18:35Everybody knew.
01:18:38We were just...
01:18:40We were just waiting for you to find out.
01:18:56We were just waiting for you to find out.
01:19:06we were just waiting for you to find out.
01:19:12It's a good thing.
01:19:14To Carla.
01:19:16Job well done.
01:19:23Cheers.
01:19:24Cheers.
01:19:25That's your job.
01:19:26Well done.
01:19:27To you.
01:19:35I have nothing to wear.
01:19:44Yeah, I have nothing to wear.
01:19:48Hey, guess who has a crush?
01:19:50Who?
01:19:50Carla.
01:19:54Really?
01:19:55Who's the lucky guy?
01:19:56Her last client, Mr. Stratton, I think.
01:20:00Are you kidding?
01:20:01Mm-mm.
01:20:02Does she know she's falling for him?
01:20:03Well, that's what Grace and I were talking about.
01:20:05We think she's head over heels, but is in complete denial.
01:20:09I can't believe I'm asking you this.
01:20:10What does Lucy think?
01:20:12She agrees with us, of course.
01:20:14I will never understand women.
01:20:16Five dollars says she's messed it up already.
01:20:18Well, that is so wrong.
01:20:20Mm-hmm.
01:20:20You're on.
01:20:26She's a woman.
01:20:29She goes.
01:20:31She looks like, don't you?
01:20:31See where I liked it?
01:20:32Yeah.
01:20:34Okay.
01:20:37The message is coming.
01:20:48She took me.
01:20:50I shouldn't have to go.
01:20:52I needed to go.
01:20:53Where we're being on screen.
01:20:55You only got a lovely spot.
01:20:56Yeah. Perfect.
01:21:00He'd be proud of you.
01:21:02Yeah, he was always proud of you.
01:21:12Let's go.
01:21:22And I decided to tempt you with sex.
01:21:28I know you'd probably hate me for it, Scott.
01:21:32Wow.
01:21:34Well, the words, uh, what Kline and Singer certainly seem appropriate, don't they?
01:21:40Gullible, stupid.
01:21:43I'm warm.
01:21:58They're beautiful, aren't they?
01:22:03I've never tried looking at them.
01:22:09Good.
01:22:09I'mitime.
01:22:27He'd get closer to her anyways.
01:22:28Hey, mama.
01:22:28Is this going nowhere you can raise time to hang pray with a girl,
01:22:28Is this going to be a boyfriend?
01:22:30Is there a boyfriend you're going to be a boyfriend?
01:22:31Mm, all of you?
01:22:31You're just curious.
01:22:32Mm, all right?
01:23:01Everyone's going to hurt you sooner or later.
01:23:05The trick?
01:23:07Find a person that's worth the pain.
01:23:34The trick?
01:23:36The trick?
01:23:51The trick?
01:23:52The trick?
01:24:04The trick?
01:24:21The trick?
01:24:22The trick?
01:24:24The trick?
01:24:36The trick?
01:24:38The trick?
01:24:50The trick?
01:24:55The trick?
01:24:59The trick?
01:25:02The trick?
01:25:04The trick?
01:25:15The trick?
01:25:18The trick?
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