- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:02Oh!
00:04Where's the ball?
00:05No!
00:06Woo!
00:07Oh!
00:13I'm hard going!
00:14Yee-dee!
00:16Damn!
00:18Woo!
00:22Woo!
00:23Here's your good boy.
00:24You made me chuckle you!
00:28You're going to be like this today, aren't you?
00:29I'm going to be like this today, aren't you?
00:38Hello, one and all, and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:41If this is your first time watching our show, let me tell you what it's all about.
00:46Tonight, five of the brightest, most physically gifted comedians in Australia, all of whom
00:51have perfect hand-eye coordination, will compete to win a prize worth a lot of money, deepen
00:56their friendships with each other, and supercharge their careers.
01:00How do they go about it?
01:01They do it by impressing me, a big idiot.
01:05By the way, this episode is going to air on Opposite Day.
01:12OK, let's drop the Opposite Day bit.
01:14Let's meet the losers competing this season.
01:17We have Anissa Nandella.
01:20Brett Blake.
01:23Celia Pequola.
01:25Joel Creasy.
01:27And Perth's very own, Rose McManus.
01:33And by my side, the guy who knows more decimal places of pie than he has mates, it's Tom Cashman.
01:44How are you going, Lisa Tom?
01:463.1.
01:52Is that it?
01:53Oh, in terms of how I am?
01:54Yeah.
01:54Oh, I'm pretty good.
01:55I've actually invented a new sexuality.
01:57Oh.
01:57You know how some people are ethically non-monogamous?
02:00I've been doing something different.
02:01I'm non-ethically monogamous.
02:04I'm extremely committed to my partner, but she owns shares in mining companies.
02:13Did you have to pretend to have a partner for that bit?
02:15Yeah.
02:18Alright, I'm ready for the prize task, Lisa Tom.
02:21Please.
02:23Our first task, of course, is a prize task.
02:25Each of our contestants have brought in a prize, and the winner of tonight's episode will take home all five
02:29prizes.
02:30Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the scruffiest thing.
02:35Rove, what scruffy thing have you brought in?
02:37This is a kid's toy that I got my daughter, and it's called a Scruff-A-Love.
02:43Oh.
02:44So it's a really scruffy dog toy, but when you take it out of the box, this is what it
02:51actually looks like.
02:56Take me home!
02:59Again, kiss me to you, dude, again!
03:06Okay, that's pretty good.
03:07Anissa, what have you brought in?
03:08I decided to bring in hair from one of my body parts.
03:14I'll let you guys guess which one.
03:17And I think it's scruffy because I'm so hairy, sometimes I sit on the couch and my cat pets me.
03:25You're looking at me like you don't believe me. I can show you.
03:28But...
03:30Is that just a jar of pubes? Is that what's going on?
03:33You need to mind your business.
03:36Britt, what have you got?
03:38The scruffiest object I know is my best friend Nick Capper.
03:45So we went to a music festival together and Nick dressed up as Snake Blitzkin from Escape from LA.
03:51He got so drunk, he had a fake eye patch on which was from an oil canister that he didn't
03:56clean.
03:56So the oil infected his eye.
03:59Then halfway through the festival, he goes, I haven't had a shower in five days.
04:04And I said, brother, it's a three-day music festival.
04:08I know Nick Capper, so I know it's true. He's actually a very good comedian.
04:12Alright Celia, what did you bring in?
04:14I heard about this thing where some people make figurines of their dogs using dog hair.
04:22And because I don't have a dog, that's my hair.
04:28Joel.
04:29Well, I loved this prize task because you have my community, everybody, to thank for the dating apps.
04:36You know, we really expedited a dating with Grindr and then there's Tinder and the lesbians have the Bunnings Store
04:42Locator app.
04:45But for a certain section of my community, there is a dating app called Scruff.
04:51And that is for the bear community. If you're wondering what a bear looks like, exhibit A.
04:57So I've jumped on Scruff and I've brought along an actual bear I found on Scruff the Dating App.
05:09And Scruff's a real thing? Scruff is a real app. It's, yeah, it's some hairy men who enjoy the company
05:15of hairy men. So, you're out.
05:19From here up, there's not much hair, but from there down...
05:22Woo! Download Scruff then!
05:24Oh, okay.
05:25Alright, I guess I should give out some points.
05:28Yes, please.
05:28Oh, gee, it's a bit tricky. I'm going to give Anissa one.
05:31Okay.
05:31And that means I have to give Celia two, because they're very close.
05:34So now I've spoken about my crotch on TV for one point.
05:39Yeah, your crotch is worth one point.
05:43I'm going to give three points to Joel.
05:44Okay.
05:45Because I want to look at that app later. I'm curious.
05:49And then I'm going to give four points to Brett because, I mean, I know Nick Capper.
05:52He's definitely a very scruffy unit.
05:54But it's scruff on scruff action when you get to Rove, because the toy itself was even scruffier than what
05:58was on the box.
05:59So five points to Rove.
06:03Double scruff.
06:04Alright, no more scruffy prizes, Lesser Tom.
06:07Hit me with the first proper task.
06:09We're heading back to the racetrack.
06:10And just as a warning for any young viewers or sensitive viewers or any viewers,
06:14this task contains footage of me dancing.
06:35No Tom.
06:37Ah.
06:38Tom!
06:40Is that Tom down there?
06:41Does he need to wee?
06:42What are you doing?
06:45Microphone.
06:47What up, dickhead?
06:51Hell yeah.
06:54Direct Tom to his seat on the cushion.
06:56He will only respond to the directions left.
07:00Right.
07:01Turn around.
07:02Dance.
07:03Or sit.
07:04He only responds to the first direction given after the music plays.
07:08Also sometimes Tom gets his directions mixed up.
07:11Can you not for this?
07:13You must remain at the plinth.
07:15Fastest wins.
07:16Your time starts now.
07:19What music?
07:22What were the directions again?
07:28So, is it fair to say it's like a giant Pac-Man scenario where you're like Pac-Man?
07:33Yeah, they get to direct me by saying left, right, turn around, dance or sit.
07:36However, sometimes I don't do what I'm told.
07:38Okay.
07:38As you know.
07:40Oh.
07:41You always do exactly what you're told.
07:43Yeah, I know.
07:45Alright, lesser Tom, who's up first?
07:47The first two stand-ups trying to make me sit down are Rove and Joel.
07:50Your time starts now.
07:51Where is he?
07:54Right.
07:59Keep going.
08:00No notes.
08:01Yes, honey.
08:02Sissy that wall.
08:05Left.
08:11Left.
08:14Yeah.
08:17Dance.
08:24Right.
08:28Doesn't make sense.
08:29I mean, if you ever needed proof of just how white Tom Cashman is.
08:33Left.
08:34Left.
08:34Yes.
08:36Oh no.
08:42I need the music.
08:43Getting very close to where I need you to be.
08:49Right.
08:53Right.
08:56Right.
08:57Ah!
08:59What if you turn right now?
09:01Just turn right.
09:01No, okay.
09:02There's a pattern here.
09:03There's a pattern here.
09:04But I don't know what it is.
09:07So that sounds like a positive one.
09:08Turn around.
09:09Yeah, okay.
09:10Seems like there's good music and bad music.
09:12But also, what is not helpful is the music never times when you're in the row where your chair is.
09:16Left, please.
09:18Yeah, good boy.
09:21Left.
09:21See, that sounds like bad music.
09:23Right.
09:27Left.
09:27Left.
09:28Ha ha ha.
09:30Ah!
09:32Ah!
09:34Oh!
09:35Ah!
09:39Left.
09:41The other thing I have taken far too long to work out is when the music plays, I don't need
09:47to say something straight away, I can wait to say left.
09:52That music goes up at the end.
09:56Right.
09:57Okay.
09:58That music means correct.
10:02Turn around.
10:06Left.
10:09Sit.
10:10Let's do that!
10:12Whoo!
10:16Thanks, Tom.
10:18Leave you with all your mates.
10:26Even when you're the main character, you look like an NPC.
10:31So, what was the trick here?
10:33What was going on?
10:34So, the music, one tune meant I did what I was told.
10:40This next one, I did the opposite of what I was told.
10:43For this one, I did something random.
10:47And for this one, no matter what I was told, it was time to dance.
10:59So, Joel, when did the penny drop for you?
11:01Um, five seconds ago.
11:04So, you had no idea the whole time.
11:06You just happened to have him doing the right thing when he was near the cushion.
11:10Do you want a smarter answer?
11:13But, Rove, when did the penny drop for you?
11:15I feel like you did know.
11:16No, at first, I thought it was maybe a sequence he was doing,
11:21but it took me far too long to realise I can time it.
11:25Also, just being a dick on that one point where he sat right next to the cushion.
11:30OK, well, I feel like we need some timings.
11:33Yeah, so Rove finished in 31 minutes and 16 seconds.
11:37But Joel was faster, 27 minutes and 2 seconds.
11:40Wow, good job.
11:42Alright, it's time for some ads.
11:45See if you can navigate your way back to your own cushion by the time the show's back on.
11:49See you soon.
12:01Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five Canadians are trying their hardest to win Joel Creasy's Big Leathery Man.
12:07What's happening, Tom Cashman?
12:09Our contestants have been tasked with navigating me around a stadium toward the red cushion.
12:13Next up, getting me from A to B, it's our very own A and B. It's Anissa and Brett.
12:19What?
12:22What the f***?
12:25Dance.
12:26Some reason that's making me even more angry.
12:29Dance.
12:31Why are you f***ing dancing?
12:36Turn around!
12:38Walk faster, please.
12:41Move like you're trying to get away from a charity fundraiser.
12:43Put some pace behind it.
12:47Left.
12:49Sit down.
12:51I feel like you're not listening to me because I'm a woman, Tom.
12:54Turn around.
12:59How long can you do this for?
13:00As long as it takes.
13:01Really?
13:03That's interesting.
13:12It says I must remain at the plinth, but it doesn't say I have to remain at the microphone.
13:16All right.
13:16So I'm gonna remain at this plinth.
13:25Turn around.
13:32Hi, Anissa.
13:33Hey, buddy.
13:34Can you sit here, please?
13:36You want me to sit?
13:37Sit.
13:37On this.
13:40This looks worse up close.
13:46Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
13:50Oh, sorry.
13:51Sit.
14:01This is the cushion.
14:04It hurt my head.
14:06Thanks, Anissa.
14:07Thanks, love.
14:14So, Brett, your solution was just to go and assault Lesser Tom.
14:18Yeah, pretty much.
14:19But I thought I'd have a home ground advantage.
14:22You know, the racetrack is my people's spiritual home ground.
14:24So, Anissa, you tried to guilt trip Lesser Tom with feminism there for a while.
14:28I did everything, race-baiting, feminism, and you just kept dancing.
14:34I know.
14:35Well, it doesn't work on him because he hates women.
14:39Black women.
14:42It's opposite day, remember?
14:45So you hate white women?
14:48Yeah.
14:49Hey!
14:50What a...
14:52Tom!
14:53OK, so you stayed with the plinth.
14:55Is that an acceptable hack?
14:57Anissa is correct.
14:58The only relevant rule was that she had to remain at the plinth.
15:01And she remained at the plinth.
15:04OK.
15:05But Brett, he left the plinth.
15:07Yeah.
15:07So he forfeited.
15:08That's right.
15:09Pretty much.
15:09I don't give a shit.
15:11I hated that one.
15:12Trust me, it's very clear to the viewer.
15:17I'd still like to know what time he got, though.
15:19Brett gave up after 15 minutes.
15:21Brett?
15:23What?
15:24And what about Anissa?
15:26Anissa beat even the cheater Brett 13 minutes and 42 seconds.
15:33OK.
15:34I believe we have one more Lesser Tom.
15:36Up last, will she be sitting pretty or pretty shitty?
15:39It's Celia Pakola.
15:45Dance.
15:49Well, this is just...
15:50I'm just doing this.
15:51I need your place.
15:53Right.
15:55Tom, this really sucks for you,
15:56because I really have no problem doing this.
16:00Left.
16:01No!
16:03Dance.
16:04Left.
16:04Left.
16:05Turn around.
16:07Turn around.
16:09Right.
16:09Left.
16:10Sit.
16:10Left.
16:10Right.
16:11Left.
16:11Turn around.
16:12Sit.
16:12I'm waiting for some lightbulb moment that I don't think is going to come.
16:15Left.
16:15Right.
16:16Sit.
16:16Right.
16:16Right.
16:17You're getting tired from the dancing?
16:19I hope you're enjoying this game because it's going to go on for some time.
16:24Sit.
16:24Dance.
16:25Dance.
16:25Right.
16:26Turn around.
16:27Right.
16:27Right.
16:28Sit.
16:29Right.
16:29Right.
16:30Left.
16:30Left.
16:31Dance.
16:31Left.
16:34Brutal.
16:36Sit.
16:37Sit.
16:37Sit.
16:37Left.
16:38Left.
16:38Turn around.
16:39Sit.
16:40More dancing.
16:40All right.
16:41I'm learning.
16:43Sit.
16:44I know how to keep you dancing.
16:49Oh, guess what?
16:50It's sit again.
16:54Oh, well, I think I'd like to have a sit.
17:01Right.
17:02Right.
17:03Right.
17:03Turn around.
17:03Now go down there and sit on that red thing.
17:05Put your goddamn bum on that red thing, Thomas.
17:08Thomas, I swear to God, I will climb over this thing and I will put your bum on that red
17:11seat.
17:12Left.
17:12Turn around.
17:13Sit.
17:13Right.
17:14Right.
17:14Right.
17:14Right.
17:15Turn around.
17:15Sit.
17:15Tom, you can tell me no one's listening.
17:16Just what's happening.
17:17I can end this.
17:18I can set you free from all of this.
17:20Left.
17:21Right.
17:21Dance.
17:22Right.
17:22Left.
17:23Right.
17:23Just give me a clue.
17:24Just wait.
17:25Just give me.
17:25The cameras can't see your face.
17:27I can't.
17:30Sit.
17:30Sit down.
17:31There you go.
17:33Oh, no.
17:35Sorry.
17:35You know what that means.
17:36Sit.
17:40Right.
17:41Right.
17:41Turn around.
17:44Sit.
17:46Well, that's got to be it.
17:47That's close enough.
17:48If you look here, you're on it.
17:51Tom.
17:53Come on.
17:55How?
18:03Left.
18:04Turn around.
18:04Dance.
18:05Right.
18:06Turn around.
18:06Good.
18:07I feel like I need to sew this to your face.
18:08I'm out of ideas, Tom.
18:10Unfortunately.
18:10You can do it.
18:12What?
18:12Turn around.
18:13Dance!
18:25Turn around.
18:31Sit.
18:36You okay?
18:37I'm okay.
18:38You did an amazing job.
18:40All right.
18:40Catch you later.
18:41Oh, God.
18:41These stairs are hot on me.
18:43Oh, my God.
18:44Thanks.
18:52Celia, you might be the nicest person we've ever had on the show.
18:55I mean, let's if Tom just put you through hell there and then at the end you told him he
18:59did an amazing job.
19:00Put me through hell?
19:01I was standing still.
19:02I felt so bad for him.
19:04I was not torturing him on purpose.
19:06Yeah.
19:06You made me dance deliberately 33 times.
19:12You see the sweat mark on your back?
19:14It was insane.
19:15Who doesn't like to dance?
19:16I thought you liked it.
19:18The fact that it went on long enough that Celia learnt your dad's stories.
19:24Did you actually work out the rules?
19:26I figured out the yes, no, but not the how to stop them at the right time.
19:29So I had him around that area.
19:31Yeah, you never realised that you didn't have to give me an instruction immediately.
19:35Yeah.
19:35How long was it?
19:36Oh, my gosh.
19:37Celia took one hour and ten seconds.
19:40Oh, my God.
19:45Brett gets zeroed because he is disqualified.
19:48Celia gets two points, obviously.
19:50Rove gets three.
19:51Joel gets four, but Anissa wins the task with her half with five points.
19:56Okay.
19:57What does that do to the episode score?
19:58We have Brett and Celia in last place tied.
20:01But Rove's in the lead with eight points.
20:04Alright, time for an ad break while you're away.
20:07I'm going to tell industry secrets to our audience that I can't say on air.
20:11Back soon.
20:12So anyway, Josh Thomas is a bit of a .
20:24Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
20:27So far, we've been watching Tom Cashman walk left and right and sit down.
20:32It doesn't get more riveting than that.
20:34Or can it?
20:35What do you have for us next, Lisa Tom?
20:36This next task is all about the Zoom.
20:38It's time to take a closer look.
20:55Oh, this looks fun.
20:59Hi Tom.
21:00Don't worry, I'll wait.
21:03Can I go get it?
21:05No.
21:05Do you want help?
21:06No.
21:06You can do it.
21:07I believe in you.
21:09I reckon that arm gets a lot of use.
21:11This is boring.
21:16Great.
21:17Done?
21:20Film the most powerful slow zoom.
21:22Most powerful slow zoom wins.
21:26You have 25 minutes.
21:27Your time starts now.
21:29What's a slow zoom?
21:31What do you think it is?
21:31It's a zoom that's slow.
21:33You've nailed it.
21:34So what gets more interesting the closer you get to it?
21:37People have said the opposite about me.
21:38You get more interesting the further away you get.
21:42Oh, yeah.
21:42You look like someone I'd like to hang out with.
21:45Oh, that's nice.
21:45You know what?
21:46Are you doing anything later?
21:47Is a slow zoom like a...
21:52Oh, I'm going to be a real housewife.
21:54Oh, okay.
21:54They always do that on real housewives.
21:56I think I might use the caravan.
21:57I might be a real housewife of Dubbo.
22:00You know when they use really cool powerful zooms is in like Jackie Chan martial arts type movies.
22:07Yeah.
22:08We need to go to the car.
22:09I need a smoke machine and protein powder.
22:12Protein powder?
22:13Yeah.
22:13Well, it's powerful.
22:18Alright, so we're just looking for the most powerful slow zoom.
22:21That's it.
22:21Alright.
22:22Well, who are we zooming into first?
22:24Our first zoomer is actually a millennial.
22:26She's a real housewife of Dubbo.
22:27It's Joel Creasy.
22:32Down come and knockin' when my trailers are rockin'.
22:36I want to make you want to make you want to make aRED dog boy.
22:39You're the best man.
23:02Don't blow your damn whistle at me.
23:06Thanks, Joel.
23:11So, Joel, it was a really powerful opening,
23:13and then after that I was just waiting
23:15for literally anything else to happen.
23:19Watching it back, so was I.
23:21I don't think I understood that task.
23:24But I think I looked hot doing it.
23:28Yeah, but usually a Zoom, it sort of...
23:30often it might reveal something,
23:31but you said you were going to be in a caravan,
23:33so we started with a shot of you in a caravan
23:36and we just slowly realised
23:37that you were still in that caravan.
23:40I'm just saying.
23:44Alright, well, who do we have next?
23:46Next, she looks at her own face when she's on a Zoom.
23:48Now we all get to do the same thing.
23:50It's Elia Pakuala.
24:03She meets her family.
24:25I'm giving her a smile,
24:26and she's still here because she has a smile,
24:30and I'm so happy.
24:30She's still in the mirror.
24:30She's still in the mirror.
24:32She's still in the mirror.
24:34This show has revealed I'm a dumbass. Isn't that not enough?
24:38It was absolutely amazing. I loved it.
24:40And not just that, it was really neat handwriting.
24:42That was... Wait for it. I'm glad you're sitting down.
24:45Freehand.
24:50Alright, Tom.
24:52There was someone on the balcony telling you...
24:54Shut up.
24:56Alright, who Zoom have we got next, Lisa Tom?
24:59In the van with the protein powder.
25:01It's the jock version of Cluedo. It's Brett Blake.
25:03I think you can.
25:05Ahhh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
25:09Oh! Smash!
25:10Oh! Smash!
25:12Oh! Oh!
25:18Ahhhh!
25:21Oh!
25:23Oh!
25:32I
25:32Thought that saved that in the edit, but that did not happen
25:36My first question is was that directed by Joel Creasy?
25:40Because again, it didn't reveal anything
25:42It's like you guys feeling powerful in a van zooming in on you. No, it was the most powerful zoom
25:47So what is the most powerful thing in the world?
25:50Hulk so it was two Hulks
25:53Scissoring
25:55In a van while also
25:58Eating protein powder and working out all right
26:02So that's what you think of when you think of power
26:05Yeah, because like when I think of power I think of like the Prime Minister maybe CEOs of major companies
26:10and you think
26:13Once again Tom, TAFE, University, we're different
26:16Okay, I'm ready for another zoom lesser Tom
26:21She's the only zoomer zoomer, but can she start tight with might? It's an Issa Nandola
26:28I
26:29Can't believe I had to let you go. I never thought that this day would come
26:34You helped me get that promotion at work
26:38My boyfriend loved you
26:41But I know you're in a better place
26:44Gone, but not forgotten
26:47Rest in peace slutty clothes
26:54That was good. You know why? Because it revealed something
26:58So what happened back in 2023?
27:00I was wearing slutty outfits
27:01Yeah, because I was too. I can't remember why we stopped
27:06Why did we stop just living with my mum and wearing revealing clothing gets too much because it's like commentary
27:13as soon as you leave the house
27:14You're slut
27:17Doesn't set you up for the day
27:18So I was like try to dress a bit more modestly and you stop dressing slutty because you got kicked
27:22off scruff
27:26And that's real slutty that's hard hard to do there's only so much scruff they could take
27:33Bloody hell this show is zooming along we're well over halfway. We'll be back for at least one more zoom
27:38right after this
27:50Welcome back to taskmaster where our cinematography has dramatically declined because we're letting comedians tell the camera person what to
27:58do
27:59That's right how contestants are trying to attempt the most powerful slow zoom. Okay, by my calculations
28:04We've got one more your calculations are correct
28:07He's about to zoom zoom zoom, and I'm not talking about cars. I'm talking about karate. It's Rove McManus
29:00I'm sorry. I'm sorry
29:04That was really irresponsible. We should have that should have come with a warning. I'm so sorry
29:08It could be kids watching that was too powerful. I mean, I feel like we could see your thoughts. I
29:11felt like we were slowly zooming in on your regrets
29:15It was very powerful, but once again Rove maybe not the best idea, but the commitment was amazing. Thank you
29:21because when you commit you bloody commit
29:24Okay, all right. Well, I better give out some scores here, please no surprises one point to Joel
29:28But do you get it? Do you get to get it?
29:32Housewives fans attack
29:35Even they're watching going this is shit
29:38And that's saying a lot because they watch real housewives
29:42So one point to Joel two points to Brett because again
29:45I don't think the zoom actually revealed any three points to Rove
29:48We did get something out of the zoom even though we regret watching it
29:52Four points to Anissa because again, there was a bit of a reveal, but I mean five points to Celia
29:57Because we're perfection
29:59It was a rollercoaster of emotions
30:02I absolutely loved it
30:04All right, I reckon I could handle one more task Tom. What do you got for me?
30:08Jovi Scott ever forget about those bonds. It's time to say Bon Voyage
30:26Oh my god, another one of these long walks feels like exercise
30:32Hello, hi Joel, hi permission to come aboard sir. Oh provision granted. It's a tiny boat. Mm-hmm. Are we
30:39going sailing?
30:41Oh
30:42No
30:43Make the sturdiest boat
30:45Sturdy, I know what that means your boat must have a name you must launch a boat in the lake
30:50in 15 minutes your time starts
30:55Do I have to get in the boat because I know for a fact that that lake is toxic, okay?
30:59Guess what you're in the boat
31:01Oh yeah
31:03What could I use as a boat? What could I use as a boat?
31:07Yoink
31:07This floats so that's half the battle
31:10Has anyone used the bathtub?
31:13Okay, this is not too bad
31:18You carry that oh good because I don't know about your upper body strength
31:21All right, let's talk names then what would the taskmaster like the dirty boy?
31:28I think here's a good launching spot. This says launch to me that looks awful
31:32I feel real bad for you, but I don't care as well
31:35So when I came to Australia, it was because of my Australian stepdad
31:39He got us into this country, so the boat is Mike and my family's at three little piggies
31:44What do we say was the name was was it Genevieve? It's my auntie's name is it let's actually go
31:49with Genevieve
31:49That's beautiful. Is this part of the boat? No, I'm gonna be Kate Winslet in Titanic. Okay, you're gonna be
31:55Jack
31:55Oh, yeah, I can't remember what the task said. I think it's a build the most beautiful boat. You're ready
31:59to launch. Yeah, I'm ready to launch
32:01Oh, yeah, that's bad. That's not good in there. That's cold. Here we go
32:11Why have I done this oh, this is the launch it's right just like the Melbourne Cup. What was the
32:16name Genevieve? Yeah pronounce you Genevieve?
32:18Oh
32:20It's a boy. I christened thee the sticky gator
32:28Look at that it doesn't look much bigger than the Mauritania what that's the line in the film all right
32:36Take us to
32:38Australia
32:40Let's go
32:46Oh
32:47I bloody did it Tom
32:49I bloody did it
32:51Off you go Genevieve
32:57That's kind of a launch
33:02That was good
33:04No
33:05Don't make me get in it
33:06Tom
33:08Now the real fun begins
33:11Sweet, sweet Jesus
33:15Sink your boat
33:16You may not enter the lake
33:17Well, I'm not in the lake
33:19Fastest to sink their boat wins
33:22Your time starts now
33:23Oh my
33:29It's the classic switcheroo
33:31So making it work in the first bit makes it not work for the second bit
33:35All right, so how do you feel about your really sturdy boat now Celia?
33:40And why did you think I'd like it being called dirty boy?
33:45I don't know because it was a bath and I just thought you'd find that funny
33:48Yeah, well, you know what you're actually right. I love it
33:51I thought that was a username on Scruff
33:57Now Anissa you made your boat a beautiful metaphor for emigration
34:02Which makes it really hard for me to tell you your boat was shit house
34:07And then he made me sink it
34:08I know
34:09Old John Howard over here
34:10Yeah
34:15Okay, well, I feel like I want to find out whose boat sinks first
34:19Will they sink or swim or sink by making me swim?
34:22It's Joel, Anissa and Brad
34:23So now I need to sink it, how long do I have the beers?
34:26Fastest wins
34:27Hey Tom
34:29You're in the lake, that's the boat
34:31Just do exactly what you did before
34:33Okay
34:34Get on the boat
34:34You want me on it?
34:35This is very evil
34:37That's me, my mum and my brother
34:39And I have to sink us
34:42Hang on, you need the hat
34:48Yeah
34:49Just sit on it, yeah, go, go
34:53And say don't let go Jack
34:54Don't let go Jack
34:55Yeah, don't let go, never let go
34:57Don't let go Jack, never let go
34:59Yeah
34:59It's got to be fully submerged
35:00I reckon for ten seconds
35:02Keep going
35:02No, that's not down
35:03There we go
35:04One, two
35:06No, it's out
35:06Sinky, you've got to get it all under
35:08But Jack was
35:08Jack wasn't on Taskmaster, was he?
35:10Oh, this is so mean
35:13It sunk
35:14Not the whole boat
35:15You want me to drown me and my family?
35:18Really?
35:18That is what I'm asking, yes
35:19That's messed up
35:23And now say, I feel like I'm flying Jack
35:26I feel like I'm flying Jack
35:27Perfect
35:29Two
35:30You're so going to get malaria
35:31Three
35:32It's not down
35:33I need to win this task Tom
35:44Tom, you did it
35:46Congratulations
35:47I might not blow my whistle because of the E.coli in the lake, if that's okay
35:51No, no, no, there's rules that need to be followed
35:54So, if you don't mind blowing the whistle, that'd be great
35:59You're done
36:00Was it sunk, do you think?
36:02I wasn't paying attention, I was paying
36:04Yeah, I think I'm, in retrospect, making Anissa sink her own representation of a family was a bit messed up
36:16John Howard, would you like to say sorry?
36:21In true John Howard fashion, I refuse
36:28So, Brett, once again, you're using Tom Cashman for your personal amusement
36:32But the thing that I like was, you made it take longer
36:34Yeah, I
36:35You made the requirement ten seconds
36:38I don't know why, I was just having so much fun tormenting you
36:41And the best part was like, dude, if he blows into the whistle at the end
36:45He's definitely going to have diarrhoea all day
36:47Yeah, you know what was very interesting to me is your interest in the rules skyrocketed
36:51When it involved me getting shit in my mouth
36:53Hey, all the information you need's in the task, Tom, so
37:01Also, Joel, did you just forget to sink the boat?
37:05No, I misread the first task
37:07Yeah
37:08I thought it was make the most beautiful boat
37:10Oh
37:10But then the second task, you had that in front of you and that said sink the boat
37:14Yeah, and I was painting you as you sunk
37:18I'm not having a great episode, I'll admit, so I'm really
37:22Oh, this episode
37:24We've all seen the others, mate
37:34You were distracted by the painting, maybe we can look at the painting
37:37I think we've got it here
37:42Beautiful
37:42It is very beautiful
37:43He's going to have to get zero because he didn't sink the boat
37:46Yeah, but maybe you can get a bonus point for that beautiful painting
37:50What times do you have there?
37:52Well, Joel took 5 minutes and 17 seconds before he was satisfied with his painting and walked away
37:57Anissa's family tragedy took 2 minutes flat
38:00And Brett, even though I suspect he could have gone quicker and just like watching me in the lake, he
38:04managed 1 minute and 42 seconds
38:08Look out
38:10Alright, that's the end of part 4, we'll see you after this
38:22Welcome back to Taskmaster, what the heck is happening?
38:25Our contestants are trying to sink their sturdy boats
38:29Time for the last two efforts, sinking Sticky Gator and Dirty Boy, two of my nicknames in high school
38:34It's Celia and Rove
38:35Well, I can easily sink it if I can just hook it back in
38:38I'm going to need the flagpole
38:46Whoa, what does that say?
38:48Ow
38:52Here we go
38:53This feels fun
38:59Alright, it's long enough
39:01Or maybe it's pretty sunk anyway
39:02Sink the
39:05Come on
39:07Sticky Gator
39:10I'm going to push further out
39:11I think it's not deep enough
39:13I reckon that's pretty sunk
39:15It's not completely sunk
39:17I'm going down
39:19Sticky boy
39:21Who's the sticky boy now?
39:24I'm just going to try and throw stuff at it
39:27Oh!
39:30Look at that
39:31That's gone
39:32That's gone
39:33Has it sunk?
39:36That's the attitude for taking
39:41Come on!
39:42Oh no, way off
39:48It hasn't
39:49It didn't sink
39:50No
39:51I think it's going to sink on its own
39:52Am I imagining that?
39:54Or does that look like it's sinking?
39:55Go dirty boy
39:57Yes!
40:01It is definitely getting lower
40:03Oh!
40:06Goodbye dirty boy
40:09Surely
40:10Not quite
40:11The thing doesn't count?
40:12The tip counts
40:13That float
40:14That's
40:14The tip counts
40:23Thanks Roe
40:24Thanks Tom
40:31Roe, when you grabbed that umpire's chair
40:33That was so satisfying
40:34Until we saw the result
40:37As I was flipping it up
40:38I saw it pivot in midair
40:40And I was like
40:40You cannot script this if you try it
40:42You're a real big animal lover
40:44Is that why you just didn't knife that pretend gator?
40:46You know what? It is
40:47It is
40:48You couldn't bring yourself to get a knife
40:49I just wanted to humanely put it down
40:52Alright, now Celia
40:54Getting that flag
40:55Yeah, I know
40:56Cause everyone else feel like
40:57There's a drill?
40:58Yeah, how come Celia got power trims and I didn't?
41:01I'm so annoyed right now
41:03What do you think the answer to that question is, Brett?
41:06And so really you kind of lucked upon it syncing
41:09When you say lucked out, just waited it out
41:11I am honestly terrified to find out how long this one was
41:14If the other one was an hour and I thought it was 15 minutes
41:17I reckon this was a week and a half
41:18Yeah
41:20Rove took 31 minutes and 19 seconds to sink Sticky Gator
41:24Celia took 1 hour and 7 seconds
41:28That's 1 hour
41:30Okay, so what were the scores overall for that task?
41:33So Joel gets 1 point for his artwork somehow
41:35Celia gets 2, Rove gets 3, Anissa gets 4
41:38But Brett wins the task with 5 points
41:42And how about the episode scores?
41:44We've got Joel in last place obviously on 9 points
41:48Brett and Celia are both on 11
41:50But we've got a tie at the top as well
41:52Anissa and Rove both on 14 points
41:56Okay, that's it for the proper task
41:58I'm going to stay here where it's comfortable
42:00But you lot can head up to the stage for the final task
42:07Alright young Thomas, who's reading the task?
42:10Tonight it will be Anita
42:13Sketch a self-portrait on your volleyball
42:17You may only sketch after successfully shooting a hoop
42:22You must shoot again after 20 seconds
42:27If you fail to shoot a hoop within 20 seconds
42:31Your attempt is over
42:33All shooting and sketching must be done on your spot
42:39Most accurate self-portrait wins
42:42You have 160 seconds
42:49Your time starts on Tom's whistle
42:523...2...
43:061...3...2...
43:11Stop doing! Stop doing!
43:13Don't!
43:14What?
43:19No!
43:20I'm done!
43:26Rove is out!
43:31Oh!
43:33Careful Joel, please!
43:40What?
43:56Where's Joel?
43:58Joel!
43:58Oh my god!
44:00Are you okay?
44:06Come here!
44:07Help me out!
44:08Help me out!
44:08Can you?
44:08You're okay?
44:09Go Joel, quick Joel!
44:1120 seconds Joel you're out.
44:15I know I'm out!
44:185, 4, 3, 2, 1.
44:27I fell down the back.
44:30OK, I'm going to judge these self-portraits just after this.
44:33See you soon.
44:44Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster.
44:47We've just finished a particularly frenzied task, haven't we, Cashman?
44:50That's right.
44:50Our contestants were trying to draw the most accurate self-portrait
44:53on a volleyball while shooting hoops.
44:55Let's take a look at their efforts.
44:57Maybe Anissa's we should look at first?
45:01Alright, looks pretty good.
45:03Is that the only face on your ball?
45:04No, I've got another face in case you don't like that one.
45:07Oh.
45:08OK, so your accurate representation of yourself was that you have two faces.
45:14It's that I'm a people-pleaser.
45:15If you don't like this one, please like this one.
45:19Alright, let's have a look at Brett's.
45:21I've got me there.
45:24It's the same as my portrait I have in the house.
45:26I've got me plus the ball and I've written Brett slash tafe
45:30and then you'll notice that my tafe arm is extra strong.
45:35Alright.
45:36Celia, what about yours?
45:38Ah, there I am.
45:41Very authentic.
45:42Very true to life.
45:44Alright, very accurate.
45:45Joel.
45:46I didn't have a whole heap of time to work on my ball.
45:51Right left.
45:52I don't know if anyone's ever fallen off the front of the stage before.
45:55I fell off the back of the stage.
45:58Yeah.
45:59I know.
45:59And you had to hang out with some crew.
46:02Are you alright?
46:03You alright?
46:04But you also probably spent as long drawing on your ball as Rove did.
46:09Rove, you just straight away shut up shop after one shot.
46:13Tools down.
46:14Yeah.
46:14Well, let's have a look at Rove's.
46:22That's cheating.
46:23It is cheating.
46:25It was confusing for me seeing that because I'm used to your confidence being misplaced.
46:31Whereas this time, I think it was justified.
46:35Alright, so I have to allocate some points.
46:38One point, Brett.
46:38Okay.
46:39Okay.
46:40Two to Joel because there was barely any face on there.
46:42Then I'm going to give Anissa three.
46:45I'm giving Celia four.
46:47And five points to Rove.
46:48Of course, you did a great job.
46:50The confidence was justified.
46:53Okay.
46:54Now, before we announce tonight's winner, I want to update on the overall scores for the series.
46:59We don't need to do that, I don't think.
47:02Yes, well, it's very close.
47:04Four of them are within four points of each other and Joel's there too.
47:07And...
47:08But currently, in the lead by just one point, Brett is leading the series with 76.
47:15Okay, so who came out on top tonight?
47:18Well, we also got Joel in last place on 11 points.
47:22But Rove's won the episode with 19 points on the board!
47:26Congratulations, Rove.
47:28Please head up and get your beautiful scruffy prize haul.
47:35Well, there we go.
47:36We learnt that Joel was standing outside a caravan.
47:40It only took 30 seconds to find out.
47:43Celia learnt the depths to which a dirty boy is willing to sink.
47:48And annoyingly, Cashman learnt my scruff username, so I'm going to have to block him on that platform too.
47:55One last big hand for our big winner, Rove!
47:58Good night!
48:15You've coalesced into one giant idiot.
48:22I don't mean to bang my drum, but...
48:24I think I'm a clever little bitch.
48:26Her vagina nearly fell out!
48:29He tried to rip us apart, but we have become a community.
48:32Well, you, I was tellingli they could not experience my future.
48:32I heard that Joel was at 16 points.
48:32let me join my first pet peeves.
48:32I had to go home and tell somebody's help.
48:33If you made my job, I honestly can actually check it off.