00:00Welcome to the first fortnightly update you absolutely can't miss, including
00:04Current Events, Dog, Subscriber Asks A Thing, and Chilly Teddy Wisdom, Historic Stuff, Allegedly.
00:12We begin with Current Events, Dog.
00:14Today's headline, Abstinence?
00:17Right now, a phenomenon rarer than a tidy toy box.
00:24Chilly and Teddy, who's usually...
00:26Right now, as Lily licks my leg.
00:29Chilly and Teddy, who usually mount first and ask questions never, are not humping.
00:38The sofa has been declared a safe zone.
00:41We'll now observe 20 seconds of pure, unmounted serenity.
00:45Do not clap.
00:46You'll wake the beasts.
00:52Moving on.
00:54Breaking news.
00:55Jenny wants to know why my wife isn't in more videos.
00:58Short answer.
00:59Not only does she take care of all the technical stuff for Chilly and Teddy, she has an actual grown
01:05-up job.
01:05Long answer.
01:07She's upstairs doing real work, while I provide live coverage of two uncharacteristically celibate pugs.
01:14Somebody has to be the adult.
01:16I made a rookie mistake and put the mic on backwards at this point, so the rest of the video
01:21runs a little quiet.
01:23Consider this our ASMR era.
01:26And now time for some Chilly Teddy wisdom.
01:29Move fast.
01:31Move fast.
01:31Break something.
01:32And then nap.
01:34Lower the bar until you step over it daily.
01:38That's it.
01:40That's it.
01:41Profound.
01:41Wildly unhelpful.
01:43Thank you, gentlemen.
01:44And that's your once-in-a-fortnight glimpse of rare pug behaviour.
01:47We'll be back in two weeks, when the humping almost certainly resumes.
01:52And so will we.
02:00Silly boy.
02:01Bye.
02:02Bye-bye.
02:03Bye bye.
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