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00:28This
00:29is a program you'll find ludicrously
00:31simple to follow. Here's
00:33how simple.
00:57See what I mean? It's going to be
00:59elementary stuff.
01:05You know the great thing about history?
01:07You don't need to have a PhD to make
01:09your mark. For instance, in the
01:1119th century, there's this guy who
01:13comes up with only the explanation
01:15for life with a capital L.
01:17And what is he? An unqualified,
01:19self-educated property surveyor
01:21who happens to have a bee in his
01:23bonnet about bees. Well,
01:25insects. Well,
01:26creepy crawlies of all kinds
01:29ends up collecting 145,000
01:31species.
01:33That's species, right?
01:35Not individual creepy crawlies.
01:37And he does it all on his own
01:38measly savings. And he does it all
01:40in the Amazon.
01:43And on tropical islands,
01:44getting himself all worked up about how
01:46local the locals are.
01:50That's creepy crawly locals,
01:52you understand.
01:53This guy's only interested in creepy
01:55crawlies.
01:57And he's obsessed about how they got
01:59to be so local.
02:04I mean,
02:05there are so many variations.
02:07Beetles on one side of a river
02:09are a different variety from beetles
02:11on the other side, for instance.
02:13Wherever you go,
02:14the little beetles seem to have worked
02:16out how to adapt to the amazing
02:18variety of habitats in the world.
02:25When he answers his own question,
02:27why do all these varieties get so
02:29varied and how?
02:30With his own answer,
02:31you survive if you fit the local
02:33conditions.
02:34In other words,
02:35the survival of the fittest,
02:38he blows everybody away.
02:40Well,
02:40he would have,
02:42except he lets some other guy who has
02:43the same idea publish first.
02:45And he blows everybody away.
02:48A frightfully polite,
02:50frightfully British case of
02:51after you,
02:53Mr. Darwin.
02:55Matter of fact,
02:55there's a nasty rumour
02:57that our creepy crawly guy
02:59sent a letter with the key data
03:00in it to the great man,
03:01who said he'd only received it,
03:03quote,
03:04after some considerable delay,
03:06unquote.
03:07Like,
03:08after he'd published.
03:11Which is why it's not
03:13Origin of Species
03:14by Alfred Wallace.
03:16Wallace,
03:17you can tell,
03:18is a noble spirit.
03:20With which,
03:21by the way,
03:22he is also obsessed.
03:25Spirits,
03:25that is.
03:26And ghosts,
03:27mediums,
03:28trances,
03:29that stuff.
03:30No problem.
03:32Spiritualism
03:33is on the minds
03:34of some of the greatest
03:35scientists of the day.
03:37And maybe
03:39transferring to
03:40other minds.
03:42Hmm?
03:57Telepathy is the obsession
03:59of another spiritualist,
04:00an eminent British physicist
04:02named Lodge,
04:03who invents those cards
04:05you see in all the telepathy tests,
04:07with squares and stuff on them.
04:08In 1883,
04:11he's asked
04:11to investigate
04:12two saleswomen
04:13in Liverpool,
04:14England,
04:14who seem to be able
04:16to communicate
04:16with each other
04:17by transmitting thought waves.
04:37Not surprisingly,
04:39Lodge is interested
04:39in other kinds
04:40of transmission,
04:41in this case
04:42with the mysterious
04:43new electrical signals.
04:45Problem is,
04:47they're even harder
04:48to detect
04:48than thought waves.
04:49So Lodge comes up
04:51with a little gizmo
04:52that reacts
04:52to even the tiniest
04:53electrical signals.
04:55So simple,
04:56it's brilliant.
04:57Lodge's idea
04:58is to use
04:59a telegraph key
05:00to send electrical signals
05:01when it triggers
05:02an electric spark
05:03that produces
05:04the signal.
05:05Usually,
05:06it's too faint
05:06to detect.
05:08Lodge fills a tube
05:09with iron filings
05:10that react
05:11to the tiniest
05:12incoming signal
05:12by sticking together.
05:14Then,
05:14an automatic tapper
05:15breaks the filings apart
05:17ready to receive again.
05:19Lodge's experiment
05:20shows his gizmo
05:20is working
05:21because the signal
05:22moves a needle
05:23and rings a bell.
05:25So, yippee,
05:26Lodge has now shown
05:27you can send dots
05:28and dashes
05:28through the air
05:29with a spark.
05:30Big deal.
05:31Until,
05:32along comes
05:33a Canadian bright spark
05:34by the name
05:35of Reginald
05:36Aubrey Fessenden.
05:49This is Fessenden.
05:51No,
05:52not the car.
05:53This.
05:58Arrochando
05:59implacable
06:10instead of using
06:11that spark
06:12that Hertz
06:13and Marconi
06:14and everybody else
06:14has been using,
06:16Fessenden,
06:17who is working
06:17for the U.S.
06:18government
06:18on an amazing
06:19new thing
06:20called
06:20radio weather forecasting,
06:22has the idea
06:23of using
06:24not dots and dashes
06:25but continuous waves.
06:27Now,
06:28how you do that?
06:28Get ready
06:30for some gobbledygook
06:31about transmission
06:32and such.
06:37Hey, man.
06:39In 1906,
06:40the dude Fessenden
06:41makes electricity
06:42with an electricity maker.
06:44You know,
06:45magnets spin round
06:46in a copper wire
06:47and make electricity.
06:49Okay,
06:49this electricity
06:50goes up a big antenna
06:51and out
06:52in a the atmosphere.
06:54In the electric waves,
06:56you know about.
06:57Now,
06:58here's for
06:58listen and talking
06:59at the microphone
07:00and that turns
07:01what he says
07:02into little waves.
07:05And they go
07:06on the big wave
07:07and what they call
07:08modulated waves.
07:11At the other end,
07:12you just unscramble
07:13it all
07:14and you get
07:15the first radio
07:16with talking
07:17and music
07:18and all that jazz.
07:20Cool, man.
07:21Oh, yeah.
07:23Oh, yeah.
07:27Now, there are those
07:29including some
07:30of Fessenden's backers
07:31who think he's gone
07:33totally bananas.
07:34Except for one bunch
07:35of people who have
07:36gone totally bananas.
07:43Now, you might wonder
07:44why a bunch
07:45of banana people
07:46would freak out
07:48over long-distance radio.
07:50Well,
07:51take a closer look
07:52at the fruits
07:52of their labors.
07:58The thing about bananas
08:00is they grow so fast
08:01and what that means
08:02is in places like here
08:04in the Dominican Republic,
08:06you can pick your bananas
08:07all year round.
08:11And then the clock
08:13starts to tick
08:13because the second
08:15you pick your banana,
08:16it starts to ripen.
08:17So you've got to get it
08:18to market fast.
08:22That's where radio
08:23comes in
08:24to organise
08:25long-distance.
08:26Get your trains
08:27and your ships
08:28to the same port
08:29at the same time.
08:30Avoid train loads
08:31of rotting bananas
08:34going nowhere.
08:38And all this happens
08:39because the amazing
08:41growth of the banana
08:42is only matched
08:43by the amazing growth
08:44of the banana market.
08:45I mean, in America,
08:46you can make anything
08:48up to 500% profit.
08:54Well,
08:55quicker than you can say
08:56united fruit,
08:57certain Americans
08:58with interests
08:59in growing investments,
09:00like bananas,
09:01split to Central America
09:03where they end up
09:04owning large bits
09:05of these countries
09:06and owning large bits
09:07of their governments,
09:08thus giving the language
09:09a new term,
09:11banana republics.
09:13And
09:13a new international
09:15musical smash hit
09:17to go on the new
09:18international radio waves.
09:19I'll just play you
09:20a couple of bars.
09:22Yes, we have no bananas.
09:25We have no bananas today.
09:28We've brought beans
09:29like bunions,
09:30carpacetans and onions
09:32and all kinds of fruit
09:33and say,
09:34we have old-fashioned tomatoes,
09:38nice jersey potatoes.
09:41But, yes,
09:42we have no bananas.
09:44We have no bananas today.
09:48Now,
09:49if the reason you have no bananas
09:51happens to have something
09:52to do with their state
09:53of health and such,
09:54well, there's only one thing
09:56to do.
09:57Send a postcard
09:58explaining your problem
10:00to Switzerland.
10:03OK, hold it.
10:04We started with
10:05beetle-freak Wallace,
10:06who's a spiritualist
10:08like Lodge,
10:08who invents a way
10:10to make it possible
10:10for Fessenden
10:11to go on and develop
10:12proper radio
10:13around 1910,
10:15grabbed by the
10:16United Fruit Company
10:17to help organise
10:18their banana business.
10:19And if your bananas
10:20get sick,
10:21the place to write to
10:22is Switzerland.
10:31which, guess what,
10:33is where we go next.
10:40See,
10:41back then,
10:42top banana in bananas
10:43is a terminally boring
10:45Swiss botanist
10:46living here in Geneva.
10:47OK,
10:48let's see how long
10:49I can hold your attention.
10:52This guy
10:53is the second
10:54in what will turn out
10:55to be a long line
10:56of family botanists.
10:58His name is Kondol
10:59and he's a professor
11:00at Geneva Academy.
11:02In 1882,
11:04he comes out
11:04with a book
11:05in which there's
11:06the first detailed
11:07botanical description
11:08and anything you might
11:09ever want to know
11:10about bananas.
11:12Look.
11:14OK,
11:14had enough?
11:16Kondol
11:17also produces
11:18other books
11:19you can't pick up.
11:20Gripping Stuff,
11:21the age of trees,
11:24how to give a plant
11:24a name,
11:25the lesser-known
11:27diseases of grapevines,
11:28and all this
11:29described by fellow
11:31botanists
11:31quite seriously
11:32as
11:33classics
11:34in the field.
11:37Still awake?
11:38OK,
11:39how about this?
11:40Take a look
11:41at Kondol's
11:43research notes.
11:47How's this
11:48for the obsessive
11:49noodler's mind
11:50at work,
11:50eh?
11:53Now,
11:54the reason
11:55this Swiss scientist
11:56is so exciting
11:58he would cure
11:58your insomnia
11:59is in this show
12:00at all
12:01is because
12:02Kondol
12:03does one other thing.
12:05He persuades
12:06the Geneva authorities
12:07here
12:07to start using
12:09an amazing
12:09recent invention,
12:11a thing called
12:12a postage stamp.
12:18By 1874,
12:19so many other
12:20countries have
12:21followed the
12:21Swiss example
12:22and started
12:22mail services
12:23that there is
12:24a critical postal
12:26problem to be
12:27licked.
12:29Not the stamp.
12:30What happens
12:31after you stick it
12:32on the letter
12:32and send it off
12:33to foreign parts
12:34wherever they may be?
12:35Which,
12:36back then,
12:37is anybody's guess.
12:42So,
12:43in 1874,
12:44here in Switzerland,
12:45everybody gets together
12:46to standardise
12:47everything.
12:48Rates,
12:48types of mail,
12:49that stuff.
12:52At the same meeting,
12:53they also okay
12:54the use of a weird
12:55new postal gizmo
12:57recently invented
12:57in Austria
12:58for expressing
12:59the sentiment
13:00wish you were here.
13:03A postcard.
13:13In Britain,
13:14early on,
13:15postcards are all
13:16saucy,
13:16kiss-me-quick stuff
13:17about naughty
13:18goings-on
13:18at the beach,
13:19drawn by artists
13:21who start out
13:22in politics.
13:26See,
13:27these cartoonists
13:28get their start
13:29in life
13:29thanks to a
13:30satirical magazine
13:31called Punch
13:32that kicks off
13:33back in 1841
13:34and specialises
13:35in targeting
13:36public figures
13:37like fat cat
13:38politicians
13:38who are doing
13:39nothing about
13:40the terrible
13:40social conditions
13:41and corruption
13:42among government
13:43officials.
13:44In 1843,
13:46the magazine
13:46turns its attention
13:47from political
13:48problems like
13:49speculators and such
13:50to art
13:51and a national
13:52public competition
13:53to design
13:53some giant
13:54frescoes.
13:55The theme
13:55is heroic
13:56thoughts
13:57and the winners
13:58are so abysmal
13:59Punch does its own.
14:00Here's one
14:01titled Capital
14:02and Labour
14:03with the line
14:04Just as well
14:05there are the rich
14:06to enjoy the profits
14:07from what the miners
14:07get up to
14:08down below.
14:10The reason
14:11there's a fresco
14:11competition in the
14:12first place
14:13is this
14:13the bare walls
14:14of the new
14:15houses of parliament
14:15the old ones
14:17having burnt down
14:17a few years before.
14:19As it happens
14:20in spite of Punch
14:21some of those
14:22awful frescoes
14:23actually get painted
14:24and then
14:25intelligently
14:26covered over.
14:32Meanwhile
14:33the parliament
14:33building itself.
14:35The word that
14:36flows to mind
14:36is I suppose
14:37fake.
14:39Well take a look.
14:42I mean
14:43it's 1840
14:44and they're building
14:44something more like
14:451340.
14:46Mostly to designs
14:48by August Pugin
14:49who sounds a bit
14:50of a weirdo.
14:51I mean he actually
14:52writes a book
14:53with the serious
14:54title of
14:55The True Principles
14:56of Pointed Architecture.
14:59Now Pugin doesn't
15:00build this place
15:00but he puts in
15:02most of the design.
15:04And there's more
15:05fancy detail here
15:06than a wedding cake.
15:07Pugin's a total freak
15:09for imitation
15:10gothic curlicues
15:11with everything.
15:12But where he goes
15:13architecturally
15:14ape
15:15is with the interior
15:16of the House of Lords
15:17the greatest fake
15:19of all time.
15:24Mind you
15:25all this historical
15:26ceremony
15:27and people dressing up
15:28is if you think
15:29about it
15:30entirely fake.
15:32I mean
15:32none of them
15:33dresses like this
15:33at home
15:34do they?
15:35Main thing is
15:36it's all great
15:38for tourist revenue.
15:49My government
15:50intends to govern
15:51for the benefit
15:52of the whole nation.
15:54But the whole point
15:55of surrounding
15:56your fake pageantry
15:57with all this fake
15:58medieval gothic
15:59is that Pugin
16:00and everybody else
16:01regards gothic
16:03as true blue Brit.
16:04Mother of parliaments,
16:06home of democracy
16:06and all that.
16:07No devious influences
16:09from devious
16:10foreign parts.
16:12Ironic really
16:13given where the mania
16:14for this gothic
16:15revival
16:16actually comes from
16:17in the first place.
16:18Devious foreign parts.
16:26Well
16:27Germany
16:27well
16:2818th century
16:29Germany
16:30today
16:30the Baltic Republic
16:31of Latvia
16:32where a whole
16:33western cultural
16:34movement started
16:35with a chip
16:36on the shoulder.
16:45this is the shoulder
16:46in question
16:47a teacher called
16:48Herder
16:48you may not have
16:49heard of
16:50because everybody
16:51snitches his ideas
16:52and becomes more
16:53famous than him.
16:54Famous like
16:55Byron
16:57Schubert
16:57and Goethe.
16:59But that chip
17:01put it this way
17:02you're a German
17:03in 1770
17:05a bit embarrassing
17:06that because
17:06there's really
17:07no such thing.
17:11Germany's about
17:11300 different
17:12little tin pot
17:13independent states
17:14in one of which
17:15Herder is
17:16when he has
17:17these brilliant
17:17thoughts.
17:19Here
17:19in the ancient
17:20city of Riga
17:21So there's no
17:23German national
17:25anything
17:26right?
17:32The real
17:34reason for that
17:34chip on
17:35Herder's shoulder
17:35is that the
17:36French reckon
17:37Germans have
17:38no style.
17:39So he starts
17:40churning out books
17:41by the yard
17:42on everything
17:43from music
17:44to history
17:44philosophy
17:45literature
17:45poetry
17:46art
17:46and above all
17:48a shocking
17:49new concept.
17:52German culture
17:53one great
17:55example of which
17:55is of course
17:56the architecture
17:57Herder reckons
17:58was invented
17:58by Germans
17:59Gothic
18:00so Herder
18:02kicks off
18:02the great
18:03German Gothic
18:03revival
18:04that ends up
18:05giving the Brits
18:06the Houses of
18:06Parliament
18:07remember?
18:07So now
18:08it'll be fashionable
18:09to be German
18:13and you can forget
18:14all that French
18:15Age of Enlightenment
18:16stuff about
18:16order and logic
18:17that has the rest
18:18of Europe
18:18by the Shorten
18:19Curleys at the time
18:21order is out
18:23anarchy
18:24is in
18:28this idea
18:29rapidly turns
18:30into the
18:30back to nature
18:31thing we now
18:31call
18:32the romantic
18:33movement
18:55okay
18:56that's enough
18:56of that
18:57let's take
18:58one last look
18:59at the business
18:59of that chip
19:00on Herder's
19:01shoulder
19:03which also
19:04gets Herder
19:05all excited
19:06about ancient
19:06Germanic folklore
19:07back in the
19:08mists of time
19:09when Germans
19:10were
19:10he thinks
19:11the original
19:12human race
19:13an idea
19:14which will get
19:15some other people
19:15excited
19:16a couple of
19:17hundred years
19:17later
19:23now a key
19:24element of any
19:24ancient culture
19:25and all that
19:26is language
19:27if you could
19:28find the
19:28ancient
19:29original language
19:29you'd be that
19:31bit closer to
19:31knowing what
19:32those ancient
19:32Germans were
19:33like
19:33and why
19:34as Herder
19:35says
19:35they were
19:37so superior
19:41so for Herder
19:42it is like
19:43dying and going
19:44to heaven
19:44when he gets
19:45to hear of
19:46a newly
19:46discovered poem
19:47dating from
19:48wait for it
19:49the third
19:50century
19:51it's in
19:52translation of
19:53course
19:53point being
19:54the original
19:55text is so
19:57old
19:57it's in a
19:59lingo
19:59nearly nobody
20:00talks anymore
20:03because here
20:04we're talking
20:05ancient tales
20:06and legends
20:07from the
20:07highlands
20:08of Scotland
20:08in Gaelic
20:17now the
20:18reason Herder
20:19gets to know
20:19about all
20:20this ancient
20:20Gaelic stuff
20:21is because
20:22back in
20:231760
20:24a Scotsman
20:25called
20:25James McPherson
20:26is riding
20:27all around
20:27the Scottish
20:28highlands
20:28looking for
20:29peasants
20:30who'll stand
20:30outside their
20:31cottages
20:31and spout
20:32Gaelic poetry
20:33for him
20:33to write
20:34down
20:34if you'll
20:35just bear
20:36with me
20:36till they're
20:36settled
20:37I'll get
20:38to the
20:38point
20:38okay
20:42James McPherson
20:43is behaving
20:44in this weird
20:45manner
20:45for the
20:46very simple
20:46reason that
20:47he doesn't
20:47want to see
20:47his country
20:48Disney-fied
20:49by which I
20:50mean
20:50letting the
20:51English
20:51do this
20:52to it
20:58see
20:58all this
20:59tourist
21:00brochure
21:00stuff about
21:01Scotland
21:01is introduced
21:02by the
21:03English
21:03after they've
21:04invaded the
21:04country
21:05and destroyed
21:05the clans
21:06and
21:07pacified
21:08the place
21:09which they
21:10do
21:10by making
21:11it illegal
21:11to wear
21:12a tartan
21:12or speak
21:13Gaelic
21:13or carry
21:14a sword
21:14and by
21:15evicting
21:16Scottish
21:16Highlanders
21:17from their
21:18lands
21:18and burning
21:19their homes
21:28so all
21:29this
21:29unpleasantness
21:30is why
21:30our friend
21:31James McPherson
21:32is scribbling
21:32furiously
21:33because he
21:34can see
21:34the writing
21:35on the wall
21:35for Celtic
21:36culture
21:37McPherson hopes
21:38to stop
21:38the rot
21:39by publishing
21:40a great
21:40third-century
21:41epic poem
21:42he's discovered
21:42in the
21:43Highlands
21:43all about
21:44the Celtic
21:45hero
21:45Ossian
21:46and it's
21:47the Ossian
21:48epic
21:48that blows
21:49away
21:49that German
21:49guy
21:50Herder
21:50remember
21:51and starts
21:52the whole
21:52romantic
21:53movement
21:55thing is
21:56the whole
21:57epic
21:57is an
21:58epic
21:58fake
21:59McPherson
22:00makes it
22:00all up
22:01out of
22:01bits and
22:02pieces
22:02he picks
22:03up on
22:03this
22:03tour
22:03of the
22:03Scottish
22:04Highlands
22:04and a lot
22:05of stuff
22:05he writes
22:06himself
22:07and Ossian
22:08fools
22:08everybody else
22:09besides
22:09Herder too
22:10I mean
22:11we're talking
22:12an international
22:13bestseller
22:13in 26
22:14languages
22:16well if you're
22:17going to fake
22:17it
22:17make it a
22:18royal fake
22:19right
22:22okay
22:23where are
22:24we
22:24that
22:25banana
22:25scientist
22:26you
22:26recall
22:26persuades
22:27the Swiss
22:27to use
22:28stamps
22:28on naughty
22:29postcards
22:30drawn by
22:30British
22:30cartoonists
22:31who ridicule
22:32the way
22:32their new
22:33parliament
22:33is fake
22:34gothic
22:34thanks to
22:35the romantic
22:36movement
22:36inspired by
22:37the great
22:38Ossian
22:38epic
22:38that fools
22:39everybody
22:39because it's
22:40a royal
22:41fake
22:41speaking
22:42of which
22:50welcome to
22:52the Battle
22:52of Culloden
22:52in 1746
22:54where the
22:55English
22:55inflict a
22:56great defeat
22:56on the
22:56Scots
22:57and which
22:58gives them
22:58the excuse
22:58for those
22:59terrible
22:59atrocities
23:00in Scotland
23:00later on
23:01and the
23:03reason I
23:03said
23:03royal
23:04fake
23:04is because
23:05that's
23:06who
23:06starts
23:06all this
23:07mess
23:07a royal
23:08fake
23:08called
23:09Charles
23:09Stuart
23:10aka
23:10Bonnie
23:11Prince
23:11Charlie
23:12who
23:12wants
23:12to be
23:13king
23:13of
23:13England
23:13instead
23:14of
23:14the
23:14king
23:14of
23:14England
23:15and
23:15who's
23:16a
23:16fake
23:16because
23:16he
23:16was
23:17born
23:17in
23:17Rome
23:17and
23:18has
23:18never
23:18set
23:18foot
23:19in
23:19Scotland
23:19till
23:19now
23:20and
23:20never
23:21does
23:21again
23:21after
23:22this
23:22little
23:23disaster
23:23after
23:36the
23:37defeat
23:37at Culloden
23:38Charlie
23:38bums
23:39around
23:39Europe
23:39and
23:40in 1770
23:41ends
23:41up
23:41up here
23:42in
23:42Florence
23:42where
23:43he
23:43rents
23:44the
23:44Corsini
23:44palace
23:44where
23:45he
23:45falls
23:46down
23:46in
23:46a
23:46drunken
23:47stupor
23:47every
23:47night
23:48after
23:48playing
23:49himself
23:49to sleep
23:50with
23:50this
23:50old
23:50Scottish
23:51tune
23:51and
23:52crying
23:52over
23:53spilt
23:53whiskey
23:53and
23:54the
23:54highlanders
23:55he'd
23:55led
23:55to
23:55their
23:55deaths
23:56and
23:57the
23:57women
23:57he'd
23:58let
23:58down
23:58and
23:59the
23:59promises
23:59he'd
24:00broken
24:00being
24:01an
24:01international
24:02laughingstock
24:02and
24:03a
24:03lousy
24:04cello
24:04player
24:05and
24:05maybe
24:07remembering
24:07a woman
24:07called
24:08Flora
24:09Macdonald
24:11Flora
24:12being a
24:12loyal fan
24:13who
24:14risks
24:14her
24:14life
24:14for
24:15this
24:15has
24:15been
24:15after
24:16the
24:16great
24:16defeat
24:17she
24:17disguises
24:18him
24:18as
24:18a
24:18woman
24:19and
24:19gets
24:19him
24:19to
24:20the
24:20ship
24:20waiting
24:20to
24:20smuggle
24:21him
24:21out
24:21of
24:21the
24:21country
24:22so
24:22he
24:23can
24:23run
24:32away
24:33and
24:34you
24:34know
24:34to
24:35this
24:35day
24:35there
24:36are
24:36still
24:36Scotsmen
24:37all
24:37over
24:37the
24:37world
24:37who
24:38raise
24:38their
24:38glasses
24:38to
24:39Prince
24:39Charles
24:40Stuart
24:40and
24:41toast
24:41the
24:42king
24:42over
24:42the
24:42water
24:44conveniently
24:44forgetting
24:45the
24:45drunken
24:45old
24:46sot
24:46ending
24:47his
24:47days
24:47here
24:48in
24:48Italy
24:48ignored
24:49by
24:49everybody
24:49and
24:50covered
24:50in
24:51ulcers
24:52unlike
24:52Flora
24:53McDonald
24:53who
24:54makes
24:54her
24:54own
24:54escape
24:55to
24:55somewhere
24:56altogether
24:56better
24:57for
24:57the
24:57health
24:58North
24:59Carolina
25:09These are
25:10the
25:10great
25:10pine
25:10forests
25:11along
25:11the
25:12Cape Fear
25:12River
25:12in
25:12North
25:13Carolina
25:13and
25:14they're
25:14where
25:14most
25:15of
25:15those
25:15runaway
25:15highlanders
25:16end up
25:16because
25:17it's
25:17a long
25:18way
25:18from
25:18the
25:18English
25:18and
25:19the
25:19American
25:20colonists
25:20here
25:20welcomed
25:21them
25:21with
25:21open
25:21arms
25:22and
25:23most
25:23of
25:23all
25:23because
25:24these
25:24trees
25:25are
25:25what
25:26you
25:26might
25:26call
25:26a
25:27license
25:27to
25:28print
25:28money
25:39these
25:39trees
25:40are
25:40vital
25:40to
25:41national
25:41security
25:42for
25:42the
25:42same
25:43reason
25:43that
25:43all
25:43North
25:44Carolina
25:44people
25:44are
25:45called
25:45tar
25:45heels
25:46because
25:47because
25:47what
25:47you
25:47do
25:47to
25:48keep
25:48your
25:48navy
25:49floating
25:49and
25:49fighting
25:50fit
25:50is
25:51chop
25:51up
25:51the
25:51trees
25:51and
25:52then
25:52cook
25:53them
25:53in
25:53an
25:53underground
25:54kiln
25:54and
25:55what
25:55comes
25:55out
25:56of
25:56them
25:56is
25:56a
25:57black
25:57tar
25:58makes
25:58any
25:59ship
25:59waterproof
25:59for
26:00life
26:07the
26:07other
26:08money
26:08making
26:08product
26:09that
26:09comes
26:09from
26:09these
26:09trees
26:10is
26:10just
26:11as
26:11easy
26:11to
26:11get
26:11at
26:12make
26:13this
26:13kind
26:13of
26:13cut
26:13in
26:14the
26:14tree
26:14and
26:15resin
26:15oozes
26:15out
26:16put
26:17your
26:17resin
26:17in
26:18a
26:18still
26:18boil
26:19it
26:19up
26:19condense
26:20the
26:20vapors
26:20that
26:21come
26:21out
26:21of
26:21the
26:21still
26:21and
26:22you've
26:22got
26:22yourself
26:23every
26:23navy
26:24doctor's
26:24dream
26:25turpentine
26:26today
26:27we use
26:28it
26:28for
26:28paint
26:28thinner
26:29back
26:29then
26:30they
26:30drink
26:30it
26:30or
26:31rub
26:31it
26:31on
26:31because
26:32it's
26:32supposed
26:33to
26:33cure
26:33pretty
26:34much
26:34any
26:35disease
26:35that
26:36you
26:36could
26:36ever
26:36catch
26:47so
26:47in
26:481775
26:49you're
26:50doing
26:50all
26:50this
26:50in
26:50North
26:51Carolina
26:51you're
26:52one
26:52of
26:52the
26:52people
26:52helping
26:53the
26:53British
26:53Navy
26:54rule
26:54the
26:54waves
26:55at
26:55North
26:56Carolina
26:56but
26:57not
26:57for
26:57much
26:58longer
26:59one
26:59of
26:59the
26:59reasons
27:00American
27:00independence
27:01is
27:01such
27:01a
27:01pain
27:02for
27:02the
27:02Brits
27:02is
27:02they
27:03lose
27:03their
27:04North
27:04Carolina
27:04turpentine
27:06and now
27:07here's a really
27:07weird connection
27:08North Carolina
27:09was originally named after King Charles II
27:12who was also crazy about turpentine
27:15but for a very different reason
27:22back in the 1670s
27:24back in the 1670s Charles is nuts for anything Chinese specially lacquerware and one ingredient
27:29of lacquer is turpentine
27:33mind you by the time European royals like Charles II are collecting this stuff only royals can afford it like
27:39a hundred thou a piece back then
27:43lacquerware
27:44lacquerware costs an arm and a leg because there's a craze for it in the west and because no Chinese
27:48will tell the round eyes how to make it
27:53so the secret puts the price up and sets the fashion for Chinese bad taste
28:03eventually
28:04the crafty westerners work out
28:06that turpentine's involved with the lacquer in some way
28:09around 1720
28:11some Welsh genius comes up
28:13with a fake lacquer recipe
28:15he calls what it does
28:16Japanning
28:18well Japan
28:19China
28:20nobody in Europe knows the difference
28:21okay
28:22here's the Welshman's recipe
28:24take
28:25one part
28:26linseed oil
28:27mix with
28:29one part
28:29umber
28:30and one part
28:31iron oxide
28:34strain the mixture
28:35after heating it up
28:36and then boil the whole thing up until it's thick
28:38like tar
28:41here's one I prepared earlier
28:44dilute with turpentine
28:47and you have yourself a varnish
28:49that's close enough to the real thing
28:51to pass for Chinese
28:54or Japanese
28:55what do they care
28:56this trick makes a small Welsh town famous all over nowhere
29:00for what becomes known as
29:03Pontypool
29:04name of town
29:05Japanning
29:06name of lacquer
29:11now you'll have seen Pontypool Japanning before
29:14if your great grandmother put her tea in a tin like this
29:17because the other thing Pontypool is famous for
29:21back then
29:22is the very thin sheet metal they make
29:28at the first really good iron rolling mills in Britain
29:31so that Welsh lacquer isn't developed for use on wood
29:34which is expensive
29:35but for use on tin plate
29:38which is cheap
29:38and tin plate's another trade secret
29:41only this time
29:42the secretive ones
29:43are not Chinese
29:52they're Germans
29:53which is why
29:54this guy
29:55French secretary of state Colbert
29:57is making overtures to them
29:59and any other foreign craftsman
30:01to come to France
30:02and get French industry out of the ash can
30:05where it's been since the king spent all the country's money
30:13well the German tin plate people won't come
30:15but lots of others do
30:17and Colbert sets up factories
30:18so France can make luxury goods like these
30:21instead of importing them all
30:23Colbert floats a lot of ideas for economic recovery
30:26so France can become a superpower
30:28some fail
30:29but the one that floats the best
30:31is the reason why Colbert
30:33has a modern missile cruiser named after him
30:42today's French navy
30:44is only there
30:45because back in 1665
30:46when Colbert arrives on the scene
30:49there is no French navy worth talking about
30:51a few rotting hulks
30:53all chiefs and no Indians
30:55and as for the mariner's morale
30:57well
30:58sinking fast
31:00Colbert himself gets particularly ticked off
31:03when he finds out
31:04that one day
31:05when they need a spare mast
31:07there isn't one to be found in the entire country
31:09so he pumps in money up the naval yin yang
31:12and turns the whole situation around
31:14he opens new training schools
31:16new arsenals for weapons development
31:17and above all
31:18new shipyards
31:19here
31:20here
31:21and here
31:23and it all works brilliantly
31:25in no time at all
31:26there are 120 new French warships
31:29backed up by everything else
31:30navies are supposed to have
31:31guns
31:32ammo
31:32that stuff
31:33thus putting France
31:34back into the superpower league
31:37matter of fact
31:39Colbert
31:40and his grand plan for France
31:41is why today
31:42all over the world
31:43they still speak French
31:45in much of Southeast Asia
31:47Africa
31:47the Caribbean
31:49and of course Canada
31:50ex-colonies
31:51thanks ultimately
31:53to Colbert
31:56now
31:56Colbert can't do miracles
31:58so all those new French ships
32:00he orders
32:01are well equipped
32:02with Swedish cannon
32:03Prussian naval stores
32:05Dutch ammunition
32:06Italian masts
32:07made of Polish timber
32:08designed by English naval architects
32:10and built by Dutch carpenters
32:17this is the kind of thing
32:18all those foreigners make for Colbert
32:20well to be fair
32:22there are one or two Frenchmen involved
32:25and one of them is a guy
32:27called Pierre Puget
32:31Puget is called
32:32an interesting job description
32:33for a navy man
32:34you'll think
32:35artistic director
32:37well this is France
32:38and his main job
32:40is to make and paint
32:41ships figureheads
32:42as well as covering
32:43various bits of the ship
32:44with scroll work
32:45gold leaf
32:46and fancy designs
32:47and fancy
32:49is the right word
32:58as one government bureaucrat remarks
33:00Puget's decor
33:01makes his ships
33:02look more like palaces
33:03not surprising really
33:05considering Puget gets his start
33:08in what can only be described
33:09as palatial circumstances
33:11not here in France
33:13more's the pity
33:14as it happens
33:15pity is the name
33:16of that palace
33:17I was talking about
33:18where Puget gets his first break
33:19as a painter
33:20the pity palace
33:22in Florence
33:24the grand ducal palace
33:26of the grand dukes of Tuscany
33:27which we'll get to
33:28in a minute
33:29meanwhile
33:30time for another catch up
33:34after helping
33:35Bonnie Prince Charlie
33:36to escape
33:36Flora MacDonald
33:37heads for North Carolina
33:38where they produce
33:40naval supplies
33:40like tar
33:41for waterproofing ships
33:42and turpentine
33:44that helps to make
33:45Chinese lacquer
33:45that a Welshman
33:46puts on tin plate
33:47that Colbert wants France
33:48to produce
33:49as part of an economic
33:50recovery package
33:51which includes a new navy
33:53with ships decorated
33:54by Puget
33:55who gets his artistic start
33:56at the pity palace
33:57in Florence
33:58where we go
33:59next
34:11in 1650
34:12in 1650
34:12the pity is being refurbished
34:13because it doesn't look
34:14grand enough
34:15for the grand duke
34:16who brings in
34:17some of the hottest
34:18interior decorators
34:19he can find
34:19from all over Italy
34:21one of these
34:22home improvement types
34:23Pietro da Cortona
34:25brings in an assistant
34:27that ship painter
34:28Pierre Puget
34:29and sets about
34:30covering various ceilings
34:31the art world
34:33called the apartments
34:34Cortona does up
34:35the planetary rooms
34:36because he puts stars
34:38and planets
34:39and stuff
34:39on the ceilings
34:40back then
34:41they must have felt
34:43something
34:43like this
34:53the point of all
34:54this heavenly decor
34:55is
34:56the duke is crazy
34:57for the new astronomy
34:58coming from his favourite
34:59egghead
35:00Galileo
35:01in 1657
35:03the duke and his brother
35:04start an academy
35:05of science
35:06so they can network
35:07with other nerds
35:08this gives his dukeship
35:10the chance to pick up
35:11on the latest
35:12amazing discovery
35:13by Galileo's assistant
35:15Torricelli
35:16who plays with
35:17a tube of mercury
35:18and discovers
35:21the space
35:22at the top
35:22of the tube
35:23nothing less
35:24than the thing the pope
35:25says doesn't exist
35:26the vacuum
35:28now
35:29if you ask anybody
35:30who worked on the vacuum
35:31after this
35:32and discovered
35:33you could compress air
35:34and what it did
35:35when you did
35:36they'd say
35:37Boyle
35:38of Boyle's law
35:40nobody remembers
35:42except every French person
35:44that in France
35:45and only in France
35:47it's called
35:48Marriott's law
35:54one other thing
35:55Marriott gets up to
35:56is looking at how
35:57fountains work
35:58now this involves
35:59a water supply
36:00and Marriott works out
36:02with astonishing
36:03perspicacity
36:04that most of the
36:05water supply around
36:06almost certainly
36:08comes from the sky
36:12so Marriott moves on
36:13to weather forecasting
36:14sets up a reporting
36:16network all over France
36:17of course by the time
36:19the reports get to him
36:20they're a little
36:21out of date
36:23as usual with Marriott
36:24somebody else has done
36:26all the work
36:26a guy named
36:27Pierre Perrault
36:29who's another
36:30perspicacious genius
36:31he reckons
36:32that if rainfall
36:33is the source of
36:34supply for fountains
36:35it's probably what
36:36fills up rivers too
36:37so he spends a year
36:39measuring the total
36:40rainfall on the river Seine
36:42and announces
36:43that the river Seine
36:44is unlikely to dry up
36:46well since it never has
36:47Perrault's astonishing
36:49scientific revelation
36:50doesn't make much
36:51of a splash
36:52still
36:53he perseveres
37:06not much else
37:08ever happens
37:08to poor old
37:09Pierre Perrault
37:10all in all
37:11Pierre never goes
37:12anywhere
37:12and never does
37:14anything much
37:14bit of a Cinderella
37:16I suppose
37:20funny that
37:21his brother
37:22Charles Perrault
37:23writes it
37:24Cinderella
37:25I mean
37:30and
37:30Puss in Boots
37:31and Sleeping Beauty
37:32and all those
37:33other stories
37:34in the first ever
37:35kids storybook
37:36called Mother Goose
37:38a whole world
37:39of make-believe
37:40where nothing
37:40is what it appears
37:41to be
37:42which is the reason
37:43I'm telling you this
37:44in the French Disneyland
37:45because apart
37:47from storybooks
37:48Charles Perrault
37:49gets into deep
37:50doo-doo
37:50with the French
37:51literary establishment
37:52when in 1697
37:54he mounts an attack
37:55on the classics
37:56you know
37:57Greek and Roman
37:58literature
38:01and then he goes
38:02totally off the rails
38:03by describing
38:04everybody's big hero
38:05the ancient Greek
38:06philosopher Plato
38:07as boring
38:08and then making
38:09remarks like
38:10who gives a rat's ass
38:11anyway about all
38:12that ancient Greek
38:13and Roman stuff
38:13we know far more
38:14than they did
38:15about everything
38:20well all this
38:21goes over
38:21like a lead balloon
38:22with the French Academy
38:23of which Perrault
38:25happens to be a member
38:26I mean everything
38:27hits the fan
38:31and quicker
38:32than you can say
38:33everything hits the fan
38:34the rumpus spreads
38:35across the channel
38:36to England
38:36where it tickles
38:37the fancy
38:37of this guy
38:40Jonathan Swift
38:41world's greatest
38:42satirist
38:43who drags the Brits
38:44into the fight
38:46now Swift
38:47who writes
38:48Gulliver's Travels
38:49and all that
38:49is a churchman
38:50but he's just a bit
38:52too good at the
38:52verbal vitriol
38:53so he tends to get
38:54up the nose
38:54of very important people
38:55so you can guess
38:57what that does
38:57to his clerical
38:58career prospects
39:04see back then
39:05the way to a
39:06comfortable life
39:07lots of food
39:08and wine
39:09and not too much
39:09work
39:10is to become
39:11a bishop
39:11well Swift doesn't
39:13but he does get
39:14to know one
39:17Bishop George
39:18Barclay
39:18after whom
39:19Berkeley, California
39:20is named
39:22and Barclay
39:23or Berkeley
39:24is the guy
39:25who comes up
39:25with a totally
39:26and radically
39:27new way of looking
39:28at looking
39:29so far out
39:30that his contemporaries
39:31reckon he's gone
39:32way over the top
39:36Barclay's new thing
39:37is about training
39:38is about training
39:39yourself to recognise
39:39that nothing is ever
39:41what it appears to be
39:41like
39:42all this is
39:53okay
39:53here's Barclay's idea
39:55about how we look at things
39:56and recognise them
39:57here's how he reckons
39:58your brain does it
39:59okay
40:01here comes something
40:02and it's got legs
40:04okay
40:05it's also got arms
40:07and a head
40:08okay
40:09legs
40:09chicken
40:10no
40:11table
40:11no
40:12giraffe
40:13no
40:13human
40:14okay
40:15arms
40:16chicken
40:17no
40:17military
40:18no
40:19gorilla
40:19no
40:20human
40:21right
40:21okay
40:22head
40:23chicken
40:24no
40:24elephant
40:25no
40:25human
40:26yes
40:26okay got it
40:27it's a human being
40:32Barclay reckons
40:33you recognise features
40:35because they're stored
40:36in your brain
40:36everybody reckons
40:37he's nuts
40:38this guy
40:39Thomas Young
40:40doesn't
40:41Young is a baby genius
40:43learns to read it too
40:44by the age of four
40:45he's read the Bible twice
40:47an 18th century
40:48propeller head
41:00in 1793
41:01in London
41:02Young takes
41:03a candle
41:04a lens
41:05and a prism
41:06and picks up
41:07where Barclay
41:07left off
41:08Young reckons
41:09like Barclay
41:10that colour
41:11is processed
41:12in your brain too
41:13all that hits
41:14your retina
41:14are the primary
41:16colours
41:16in the spectrum
41:17red
41:18green
41:18and blue
41:19and he proves it
41:20like this
41:21shine a light
41:22through a prism
41:23and split the light
41:25into primary colours
41:27then slide in
41:28another prism
41:29and see if you can
41:30split up
41:30one of the primary colours
41:33no deal
41:33can't be done
41:34so Young reckons
41:36if you see colours
41:38that aren't
41:38primary colours
41:39you're mixing
41:40the colours
41:41in your brain
41:42everybody reckons
41:43he's nuts
41:43doesn't phase him
41:45one bit
41:45goes on to
41:46discover light waves
41:48can you imagine
41:49what a genius
41:50like this does
41:51with his spare time
41:52eh
41:54matter of fact
41:56this
41:59Young's the reason
42:00I know what my job
42:01description would have been
42:02in ancient Egypt
42:04smeu
42:05mat
42:06sedjemet
42:06wa
42:09one who reports
42:10what he's seen
42:10and heard
42:10from afar
42:11and we know this stuff
42:13because that's what Young
42:14does in his spare time
42:16he cracks the ancient
42:18Egyptian language
42:19no less
42:21ok
42:21where have we got
42:22Cortona paints
42:24astronomical ceilings
42:25in the pity palace
42:26for the duke
42:26who's turned on
42:28by Torricelli's discovery
42:29of the vacuum
42:30at the top
42:31of a tube of mercury
42:32barometers
42:33and weather forecasts
42:34excite Perrault
42:35whose brother starts
42:36the literary revolt
42:37that also involves
42:38Swift
42:39whose pal
42:40Bishop Barclay
42:41thinks up a new
42:42theory of vision
42:43confirmed by Young
42:44who then
42:45gets deeply
42:46into ancient
42:47Egyptian
42:53Young cracks
42:54the ancient
42:55Egyptian language
42:55because
42:56quite by accident
42:57he gets involved
42:58with an ancient
42:59Egyptian stone
43:00covered in writing
43:03one day
43:03when he had
43:05nothing better to do
43:06somebody lent him
43:07the Rosetta Stone
43:08to play with
43:09here it is
43:10in the British Museum
43:11snitched by the Brits
43:12in Egypt
43:13spoils of war
43:15the same text
43:16in three different scripts
43:18Greek
43:20and
43:21two different ways
43:22of writing
43:23ancient Egyptian
43:24Young takes a closer look
43:26at this kind
43:31after a while
43:32Young decides
43:33that the little groups
43:34of signs
43:34that repeat
43:35all over the place
43:36must be common words
43:38like
43:38and
43:38and that bigger groups
43:40that appear regularly
43:41could be some kind
43:43of title
43:43like
43:44King
43:44maybe
43:45then he finds
43:46names he knows
43:47in the Greek writing
43:48like
43:49Ptolemy
43:49and locates
43:51where they are
43:51in the Egyptian
43:52and sure enough
43:54it all starts
43:55to make sense
44:01once you've done that
44:02with this kind
44:03of Egyptian writing
44:04you just repeat
44:05the trick
44:05for hieroglyphs
44:08all this you can do
44:09thanks to this
44:10giant book
44:11produced by
44:12Napoleon scientists
44:13after they invade
44:14Egypt in 1799
44:15where as I mentioned
44:17the Brits
44:18clobber Napoleon
44:18and then grab
44:19the Rosetta Stone
44:21thing is
44:22the books got
44:23a zillion drawings
44:24of what they all saw
44:25up the Nile
44:26including a load
44:27more inscriptions
44:28for the hieroglyph
44:29codebreakers
44:30to work on
44:35and there are
44:35all these drawings
44:36because of the speed
44:38those Frenchmen
44:39were working at
44:39up the Nile
44:40getting the lead out
44:41in more senses
44:43than one
44:44because
44:44France has just
44:46solved
44:46ze great
44:47French pencil crisis
44:51see
44:51because of the war
44:52with England
44:53and everybody else
44:54French imports
44:55have been blocked
44:56so pencils
44:57which they have
44:58always imported
44:59are in short supply
45:00by 1795
45:02things are so
45:03desperate
45:04they're licking
45:05their stubs
45:06and then
45:07French genius
45:08solves ze problem
45:09fellow called
45:10Nicolas Conte
45:11invents a mixture
45:13of graphite and clay
45:14and voila
45:14an amazing new
45:16artificial pencil lead
45:22that's why that giant
45:23pencil sketchbook
45:24got done up the Nile
45:25and then published
45:27by that pencil inventor
45:28Nicolas Conte
45:29successful guy
45:30a bit of a high flyer
45:32really
45:42Conte's previous job
45:43has been chief
45:44of military balloons
45:45for Napoleon
45:46so he's going up
45:48in the world
45:52with the aid
45:53of telescopes
45:53battles are orchestrated
45:55by French generals
45:56they win
45:57often
45:58because up here
46:00it's easier to see
46:01what they're up to
46:02down there
46:05however
46:05for some strange reason
46:07Napoleon takes
46:08against the idea
46:09and that's the end
46:10of French hot air
46:11well
46:12kind of
46:13meanwhile
46:14ballooning takes off
46:15elsewhere
46:19by 1861
46:20there's an American
46:22civil war going on
46:23and ballooning freak
46:24Professor Thaddeus Lowe
46:25gets up to all kinds
46:27of tricks
46:27like hovering above
46:29the Battle of Chickahominy
46:30on June the 1st
46:311862
46:32and sending telegraph
46:34messages down a wire
46:35to the Union General
46:36below
46:36about what the
46:37Confederate Army
46:38is doing
46:39the General in question
46:40is George McClellan
46:42who's running the Army
46:43of the Potomac
46:44and is one of the few
46:45people to realise
46:46you can spy
46:47with a balloon
46:48bright guy
46:50mind you
46:51the General's had
46:52some experience
46:53at Skullduggery
46:54before the war
46:55when he's President
46:56of the Illinois Central
46:57and hires a detective
46:59to run railroad security
47:02this detective
47:03is then conscripted
47:04by McClellan
47:05during the war
47:05to become a master spy
47:07bad news
47:08after the war
47:09for Butch Cassidy
47:13he's among
47:14the more famous
47:14criminals
47:15like Jesse James
47:16caught by
47:17McClellan's
47:18now very experienced
47:20spy
47:21once he gets
47:22out of the army
47:22and opens
47:23the greatest
47:23detective agency
47:24in the history
47:24of the United States
47:25and named after him
47:26the Pinkerton
47:27Alan Pinkerton's
47:29case book
47:29looks like
47:30the who's who
47:30of crookery
47:31he's the first
47:32to recognise
47:33that criminals
47:34have an M.O.
47:35he's a master
47:36of disguises
47:37and has a great
47:37collection of wigs
47:38false moustaches
47:39etc
47:40but it's this
47:41that turns out
47:42to be Pinkerton's
47:43most famous case
47:48here
47:49in the Pennsylvania
47:50coal fields
47:50in the 1870s
47:52the case involves
47:53a bunch of
47:54Irish anarchists
47:55who are causing
47:56all kinds of mayhem
47:57arson
47:58murder
47:58blowing up trains
48:00and other such
48:01political statements
48:02this bunch of
48:03fun-loving fellows
48:04becomes known as
48:05the Molly Maguires
48:09Pinkerton decides
48:10to infiltrate the gang
48:11fortunately for him
48:13he has just the right
48:14guy for the job
48:15his name
48:16is James McParlane
48:18Irish
48:18Catholic
48:19and tough
48:20who gets a job
48:21as a minor
48:22and starts to act
48:23Irish
48:23Catholic
48:24and tough
48:31for two years
48:32he sends Pinkerton
48:33secret reports
48:34and avoids
48:35killing the people
48:35he's been ordered to
48:36by taking to whiskey
48:38so the Mollies
48:39will think he's
48:39a hopeless drunk
48:41and becomes
48:41a hopeless drunk
48:46finally
48:46just as the Mollies
48:48are getting wise
48:48to him
48:49he gets out
48:50by the skin
48:50of his teeth
48:51with enough evidence
48:52to bring the Mollies
48:53to justice
48:53they hang
48:55thirteen of them
49:01McParlane goes off
49:02to Denver
49:03to recover from the booze
49:04and dies
49:05a broken man
49:06still
49:07he does become famous
49:09in England
49:22this is where
49:23McParlane would have
49:24become famous
49:27if this place
49:28had ever really existed
49:29or the fellow
49:30who is supposed
49:30to have lived here
49:32neither of which
49:32ever happened
49:33but you try telling
49:34that to the fans
49:35who've been making
49:36the pilgrimage
49:37to this place
49:37for the last
49:38hundred years
49:42and who
49:43a hundred years ago
49:44learn all about
49:45McParlane
49:45in a novel
49:46called
49:47The Valley of Fear
49:49based on
49:49McParlane's adventures
49:50with the Molly
49:51Maguires
49:52but not starring
49:53McParlane
49:54oh no
49:55starring the guy
49:56who never existed
49:57who didn't live here
49:58at 221B
49:59Baker Street
50:00or wear a
50:01deastoco
50:01or play the violin
50:02or smoke a pipe
50:03or have a physician
50:04sidekick
50:05or take dope
50:06because here
50:07is where my story
50:08ends
50:09so let me review
50:10the clues
50:11and see if you can guess
50:12who never lived here
50:16Beedle Freak Wallace
50:17Lodge and Telegraphy
50:19Fessenden's Radio
50:20used by banana growers
50:22top banana in banana science
50:24Kondol
50:25who gets the Swiss
50:26into stamps
50:27used on postcards
50:28with cartoons
50:29of the Gothic Houses
50:30of Parliament
50:31inspired by Herder's
50:32romantic movement
50:33inspired by fake
50:34Scottish poems
50:35the exiled Scots
50:37escaped North Carolina
50:38making turpentine
50:39used for making
50:40Chinese lacquer
50:41on tin plate
50:42Colbert once
50:43French Navy decorator
50:44Puget
50:45who paints places
50:46where they play
50:46with barometers
50:47the weather freak
50:48whose brother's writing
50:49turns on swift
50:50whose pal Barkley
50:51has visual theories
50:52that Young confirms
50:54while decoding
50:55ancient Egyptian
50:55from examples
50:57sketched by pencils
50:58invented by French balloonists
51:00the American balloons
51:01by Pinkerton
51:01and his intrepid agent
51:02McParlane
51:03who becomes famous
51:04in England
51:04phew
51:05got it?
51:06Detective McParlane
51:08is made famous
51:09in England
51:10by the greatest
51:11detective of them all
51:12because the Valley of Fear
51:14is the last
51:15Sherlock Holmes story
51:17Conan Doyle
51:18ever writes
51:18and that's the end
51:19of my whodunit
51:20but if you got the clues
51:22as we went along
51:22you got there ahead of me
51:24as Sherlock himself
51:25might have said
51:28it was elementary
51:29my dear Watson
51:30and a young man
51:59as a young man
51:59as a young man
51:59as an animal
52:00You
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