00:00Hey, the, uh, coach was asking if you were playing baseball this year.
00:02I don't know.
00:03Why not?
00:03I just get confused when I play baseball.
00:05What's the confusing part?
00:06Like, after I hit the ball, what do I do?
00:08You run.
00:08Anywhere?
00:09No, you run to first.
00:10And then I hold Nathan's hand.
00:11What?
00:11Why would you?
00:12Chad said when he got the first base, he got to hold Stephanie's hand.
00:13Well, that's not actually...
00:14At least that's what he told me.
00:15Okay, but that's...
00:16And I'm not gonna tell you what happened when he got to second.
00:17That's fine.
00:18Fine, he kissed her.
00:19So anyway...
00:19That's what he told me.
00:19Great.
00:20So, um...
00:20So then what's next?
00:21Well, if the pitcher throws a wild pitch, you can steal second.
00:23Okay, I'm a Christian.
00:24I'm not gonna steal second base.
00:25Okay, you're not...
00:26When I get to heaven and the angels are like, hey, God wants to talk to you.
00:28Listen, stealing second base.
00:29And God walks in like, what happened when you were playing the Wildcats?
00:31I saw what you...
00:32Wow.
00:32I bet you want me to steal third too.
00:33Actually, yeah.
00:34I knew it.
00:34Stealing a base doesn't mean...
00:35I'm not a criminal, Dad.
00:36Okay, you're confused.
00:36What next?
00:37Shoot the umpire?
00:37No.
00:38Why would I let you...
00:39I'm not asking you to do anything illegal.
00:40Really?
00:41Because you just suggested I steal third base.
00:42You'll never understand baseball.
00:43Okay, let's say I hit the ball, run to first, get involved in criminal activities, steal
00:45second and third, then what?
00:47Run home.
00:47Death, we live 12 miles away from the ballpark.
00:49I'm not running to the house.
00:50It's gonna be the first place the police look.
00:52They're gonna show up to the house with guns drawn like, we know you're in there, and I'm
00:54just gonna be sitting in there with second and third base like, ah, damn it.
00:57I knew I shouldn't have played baseball this year.
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