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00:23:17Trans estaban
00:23:19Ah, that evening, fellas.
00:23:22Oh, got to get low.
00:23:24Lowrider.
00:23:26We think we might be a little bit lost here.
00:23:30Yeah, I'd say so.
00:23:31Yeah, right?
00:23:33You know, wondering if you might be able to help us out, though.
00:23:35I think we might have gotten the wrong address.
00:23:37Looking for a fellow by the name of Chet Buttersworth?
00:23:40African-American gentleman.
00:23:42Not that that means you would necessarily know him,
00:23:44but not that it doesn't, you know?
00:23:46So, skin tone is sort of right in between you and the front
00:23:49and you and the back.
00:23:51Although, with the shadows, I can't totally tell.
00:23:54What else? What else? What else?
00:23:56Well, we're here to kidnap him as part of our initiation ritual.
00:24:06Get the fuck out the hood, cracker!
00:24:09Hey, hey, everybody's running!
00:24:10Everybody's running!
00:24:17Bam!
00:24:18Okay, here we go.
00:24:19Time to dance.
00:24:20No, I'm working. Stop!
00:24:22The working way.
00:24:23It is time to play.
00:24:25Woo!
00:24:27You're gonna get me fired.
00:24:28You're gonna get me fired!
00:24:29I know the owner. You're good.
00:24:31Look at you, falling out.
00:24:32Play, play, play, play, play, play, play.
00:24:34And...
00:24:35Out of the chair she goes.
00:24:37And around and around she goes.
00:24:40Now, I'm gonna teach you some dance moves.
00:24:41You're not taking me serious now, girls.
00:24:43Start with the right.
00:24:44Watch, you're gonna fall in love.
00:24:46Look back there. Look back at it.
00:24:47I don't want to.
00:24:48Look back at it.
00:24:49I've never seen this.
00:24:50Is this what they do in the clothes?
00:24:51Let me see what you got.
00:24:54Yes! Look at you!
00:24:56Now, for my clothes, this is what I do in the face.
00:24:58One, two, three, four, spin and grab eggs!
00:25:03All right, that chops up real smoothies!
00:25:06He don't know! He about to get in the rap! Let's go!
00:25:08Guys, just watch out because there's almost certainly a pinball.
00:25:10Who the hell is that?
00:25:11Uh, I got a pretty good idea.
00:25:13Wait here, don't get seen. I will be right back.
00:25:16I mean, that's not a house, man.
00:25:18I don't think any of these are houses.
00:25:20I just want to kidnap somebody.
00:25:22Hey, can I help you, gentlemen?
00:25:24Hey, Chad, how are you?
00:25:26What's up, man? I live here.
00:25:29I volunteer here.
00:25:31Um, why are you guys wearing Klan robes?
00:25:33No.
00:25:34No, no.
00:25:35No, no, no.
00:25:36See, if our heads are rounded, they're not going to go a little longer.
00:25:38It's just an eggshell.
00:25:39It's a different shade of white.
00:25:41Totally different.
00:25:42Totally different.
00:25:42And besides, you know, our fraternity actually predates the Klan by over a decade,
00:25:47so the real question is, why are they wearing our robes?
00:25:51You know?
00:25:52Why are they wearing our robe?
00:25:57Yeah, y'all wearing Klan robes.
00:25:58Okay, well, agree to disagree, and, shifting gears, congratulations, we're here because
00:26:04Kappa Alpha Chi is officially giving you a bid.
00:26:07We're here to kidnap you for initiation.
00:26:09Woo!
00:26:10Uh, but, first quick order of business here.
00:26:14The university requires us to get your signature on this consent form.
00:26:18Basically, it just says that you're comfortable with us physically abducting you for the initiation.
00:26:22Sign there.
00:26:23Okay, cool.
00:26:24And an initial here for the robe.
00:26:26Uh-huh.
00:26:27Great, thank you.
00:26:28And then down here for the simulated kidnapping language.
00:26:32Sure.
00:26:32Which will be harsh.
00:26:34Here we go.
00:26:35Perfect.
00:26:36Let's do this!
00:26:37Okay, whoa.
00:26:39Oh.
00:26:40The head is right there.
00:26:42Give me your arm.
00:26:42Here we go.
00:26:44All right, looks good on you, red dress.
00:26:47Okay, yeah, let's hood up here.
00:26:50Yeah, boom.
00:26:52We should probably carry you to the car if you're comfortable with that.
00:26:56We'll just lift you up.
00:26:58Yeah, sure, let's do it.
00:26:59Let's go, let's go, motherfucker!
00:27:00You told me what?
00:27:01Let's go!
00:27:03Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know what?
00:27:05We had a bit of a thing out front.
00:27:08Uh, is there a back entrance by any chance?
00:27:10Yeah, right back there.
00:27:11Perfect.
00:27:12Great, thanks.
00:27:12Let's go, motherfucker!
00:27:13I fucking got you!
00:27:16It's just language.
00:27:18Damn it!
00:27:19Fuck, man!
00:27:19Shit!
00:27:20I got it.
00:27:21I got it.
00:27:21I got it.
00:27:22I got it.
00:27:22I got it.
00:27:23Shut up, please!
00:27:24Well, well, well.
00:27:25Oh, oh!
00:27:26Ow!
00:27:27Ow!
00:27:28Ow!
00:27:28Sorry, sorry.
00:27:29Here you go.
00:27:29There you go.
00:27:32Take that shit off.
00:27:41I got this.
00:27:45Hey, we all cool, man.
00:27:47We ain't trying to cause no ruckus.
00:27:48You feel me, dawgs?
00:27:51I ain't feeling shit, dawg.
00:27:54Fuck is you?
00:27:56I'm Barack.
00:27:58Barack.
00:28:01Like Barack Obama?
00:28:02Exactly.
00:28:03Except my man spells it a little differently.
00:28:08Spells it differently how?
00:28:11B-R-O-C-K.
00:28:14Man, it ain't no damn Barack.
00:28:16That's Barack.
00:28:17The whitest fucking name in the universe.
00:28:23Grand Dragon there got a hand problem?
00:28:27Oh, shit.
00:28:29Okay.
00:28:29Is that pillowcase worth your life, f***?
00:28:32Let me just take it off.
00:28:33Yeah.
00:28:33Just light it off.
00:28:34Yeah.
00:28:35Yeah.
00:28:36Yeah.
00:28:38Yeah.
00:28:39Yeah.
00:28:40Del.
00:28:40It's a neighborhood nickname.
00:28:43Buttersworth Del Barrio.
00:28:44They call me Del for short.
00:28:45Subtrap.
00:28:46Redbone Willis.
00:28:47What's poppin'?
00:28:47What the hell is you doing, man?
00:28:49It's not what it looks like.
00:28:50Looks like you got yourself caught up in some racist fraternity bulls**t.
00:28:55Oh, okay.
00:28:56Well, then it is exactly what it looks like.
00:28:59Well, let's just chill with the burners and stuff, man.
00:29:01No need to get mad.
00:29:02Just trying to do a little thing with my white friends here.
00:29:04Don't take offense to it.
00:29:05The closest they've ever been to a black man is retweeting Kanye, so.
00:29:08Yeah.
00:29:08That's us.
00:29:10That's us.
00:29:12Okay, Eddie.
00:29:18How can I say no to Dre's son?
00:29:21All right.
00:29:21But you boys best be on your way before you run into somebody a little less understanding
00:29:27than me.
00:29:29Yeah.
00:29:30Okay.
00:29:31It was super nice meeting you guys.
00:29:33Yeah.
00:29:34And sorry for assuming about the wallets.
00:29:36No offense.
00:29:37Oh, no.
00:29:39We're still gonna need those wallets.
00:29:44Listen up, scumbags.
00:29:46We bout to see who has what it takes to become a Kappa Alpha Chi brother.
00:29:52Whatever you think is about to happen, I promise you, it's worse.
00:29:56It's your pledge, master.
00:29:59I'm a...
00:30:00Eyes down!
00:30:01No eye contact!
00:30:02Look at me!
00:30:03Look at him!
00:30:03Look at me!
00:30:04Look down!
00:30:05Never look at me.
00:30:06You're not on my level.
00:30:07Ha ha!
00:30:08I'm gonna make sure you weak little fledglings run through that gauntlet.
00:30:14So you're properly prepared.
00:30:21For a lifelong brotherhood.
00:30:23Built on booze.
00:30:25That pussy.
00:30:27And a general kickass!
00:30:30And a general kickass!
00:30:30And a general kickass!
00:30:36First thing you slaves are gonna do is...
00:30:38Trigger warning!
00:30:42Sidebar.
00:30:46Man, what the fuck?
00:30:49I'm not sure we should call the pledges slaves this year.
00:30:54But we always call them slaves.
00:30:55I know.
00:30:56But...
00:30:58Don't you think this year feels a little different?
00:31:02Yeah, you guys talking about the slave thing?
00:31:04Yeah.
00:31:05Um, I've always felt a teensy bit uncomfortable about that.
00:31:08Yo, the word slave doesn't necessarily have to refer to, like, Civil War era black slaves.
00:31:12In fact, it's actually derived from the white Slavic people who were taken as slaves in the ninth century.
00:31:16But that doesn't change the fact that in this day and age, the word slave is a racially charged term
00:31:21that harkens back to a truly disgraceful period in this nation's history.
00:31:26True.
00:31:27But isn't it more racist to change our tradition simply because we got a black pledge?
00:31:31Look, I'm so glad we're finally having this discussion.
00:31:36Let me talk to him.
00:31:38I'll talk to him.
00:31:39You go talk to him.
00:31:44Hey, man, how's it going?
00:31:45So far so good, thank you.
00:31:46Listen, um, I just wanted to check in with you.
00:31:49Some of the guys seem to be pretty set on when referring to the pledges as slaves.
00:31:55And I just sort of wanted to get your take on that as a, um...
00:31:59Well, I just wanted to get your take, um, keeping in mind that when we use the term we in
00:32:03no way mean, you know, 19th century cotton-picking slaves.
00:32:08It was just sort of a vague term of subservience.
00:32:11Yeah, listen, I understand that I'm a pledge and there's certain things that come along with that, but there's gonna
00:32:17be a problem if you guys are calling me slave.
00:32:19Say no more.
00:32:20Nope.
00:32:24Okay, then!
00:32:25Ha-ha!
00:32:28First thing you pledges are gonna do is get down on your hands and knees.
00:32:40And clean the house with toothbrushes!
00:32:45Yeah, look at the cover, man.
00:32:48Amazing!
00:32:49This whole time I'm thinking it's gonna be a lot worse.
00:32:51Like shaving each other's balls.
00:32:53Or like you guys branding us with irons.
00:32:55Or making us off with hot sauce.
00:32:57But cleaning the house with a toothbrush?
00:32:59I'll do that no problem.
00:33:01No problem, huh?
00:33:02All right.
00:33:04This your toothbrush?
00:33:06Okay.
00:33:07What do you think's gonna happen?
00:33:09Oh, hey, little princess.
00:33:10Wanna see the cave of treasures?
00:33:13Oh.
00:33:15Oh!
00:33:15It's down there!
00:33:17Ooh!
00:33:17That tickles a little bit.
00:33:19What is wrong?
00:33:20Oh, it's got the tongue scraper.
00:33:22Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:33:25Oh!
00:33:25That's yours now.
00:33:26Mm-mm.
00:33:27Mm-mm.
00:33:27Yeah, let's cut your mustache.
00:33:28Come on, man.
00:33:29You're gonna clean with it, pledge.
00:33:30I'm not gonna...
00:33:32You're gonna take it!
00:33:34You smell that shit?
00:33:35Smell your own shit.
00:33:36Smell this.
00:33:37Guys, any of y'all want me to clean the house with this?
00:33:39No.
00:33:40Absolutely not.
00:33:55That's Buttersworth.
00:33:58Yo, Buttersworth.
00:34:00Yo, what's up, Brock?
00:34:01What's up, man?
00:34:02Come with me.
00:34:03I got a special assignment for you.
00:34:05Okay.
00:34:06After you.
00:34:07Okay.
00:34:11Now, most times, this area's for brothers only.
00:34:14It's off-limits to lowly pledges such as yourself without a proper escort.
00:34:19Ugh.
00:34:20What is that smell?
00:34:21That smell could be a number of things.
00:34:25Could be...
00:34:26Mmm. Take it in.
00:34:28Definitely that.
00:34:29Mmm.
00:34:32What is... what is that?
00:34:35Brother Snyder was one of the best of us.
00:34:38House president, majoring in international relations.
00:34:412.8 grade point average.
00:34:43Captain of the swim team.
00:34:45He died in this thing?
00:34:46Yeah, he drowned.
00:34:48Mm-hmm.
00:34:49As the legend goes, Brother Snyder was found in a fetid pool of hot tub water jello shots
00:34:55and a lot of vomit.
00:34:57Oh, smells like you haven't changed it since.
00:35:00Of course we haven't.
00:35:01That would disgrace our fallen brother.
00:35:04Of course.
00:35:05Hey, look, Buttersworth.
00:35:06I tried to give you a dirty toothbrush before, and I'm sorry about that, okay?
00:35:10That wasn't cool of me.
00:35:11Wasn't?
00:35:12So I got you a fresh one.
00:35:14My man.
00:35:16Uh-oh!
00:35:18I'm so clumsy.
00:35:19But go ahead and get that for me, Plath.
00:35:22You, you, you're evil.
00:35:24Oh, shit.
00:35:26Son of a bitch!
00:35:27Fuck, Buttersworth.
00:35:28Settle down, man.
00:35:30Just get the toothbrush and clean it.
00:35:34Dick teeth!
00:35:41Son of a bitch!
00:35:45I hate my life.
00:35:48You, I mean, just start from the bottom.
00:35:51Just start cleaning.
00:35:54You were so close to the money!
00:35:56Yo, he didn't leave.
00:35:58He was watching the whole time.
00:35:59So, so what else they have you do?
00:36:01Oh, did you have to do the elephant walk?
00:36:03What's an elephant walk?
00:36:04It's basically when you put one thumb in the guy's asshole in front of you,
00:36:07and then you got the other thumb in your mouth.
00:36:08And when they, yo, switch, you switch.
00:36:10So basically, you eating an ass-sickle?
00:36:12It's an urban legend.
00:36:15Man, I ain't eating no ass-sickle.
00:36:17I'm done with this, man.
00:36:18I'm out.
00:36:19You can't put up with it a little longer?
00:36:21It's a lot of money.
00:36:22And if my vote count for anything, I say we stay on this particular project.
00:36:26We?
00:36:27Druce.
00:36:28Ain't no we, bruh.
00:36:28It's been me.
00:36:30Me in the frat house.
00:36:31Me digging through some puke, trying to find a fucking toothbrush.
00:36:33And what, you saying the elephant walk next?
00:36:34I ain't doing that, bruh.
00:36:36We make one wrong move, they call the cops who go to jail.
00:36:38You?
00:36:38Alicia?
00:36:39No, it's me.
00:36:40Me in the cell next to my dad.
00:36:42Family reunion in Folsom.
00:36:43I ain't no criminal like my father.
00:36:45I've been doing this, ain't no progress.
00:36:47Let's face it, man.
00:36:49We're not getting nothing out that house.
00:36:50Did I just hear the son of Andre Goodloe decide to give up?
00:36:55Oh, shit.
00:36:58Uncle Leon.
00:37:00I know that's not how my brother raised you.
00:37:02I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be out of jail for at least one, two hundred years.
00:37:06I decided it was time to make some lifestyle changes.
00:37:10You broke out of prison.
00:37:14Leon Goodloe?
00:37:15Am I seeing a ghost?
00:37:17Or is that just wishful thinking?
00:37:18Is that my best girl, Roberta?
00:37:21I ain't a girl and I ain't yours.
00:37:22What the fuck are you doing here, Leon?
00:37:25Maybe I'm here to finally charm your ass into doing what we should have done a long time ago.
00:37:30I'll remind you that I am a good Christian married woman.
00:37:34Not like Dre's turning down Dick in prison.
00:37:36Why should you?
00:37:37What?
00:37:37I'm gonna give you a moment to think long and hard before you say any other nasty shit.
00:37:41You don't want me to call the police on your fugitive ass.
00:37:44Oh, you would do that?
00:37:45Oh, I would.
00:37:46Well, what you gonna tell them about what your boys got into?
00:37:51What you been up to, Del?
00:37:52Nothing.
00:37:54You just gonna believe him just like that?
00:37:56Give me a reason not to.
00:37:57He's a liar.
00:37:58Mm-hmm.
00:37:58He's a felon.
00:38:00Yup.
00:38:00You know what, Mom? Don't even worry about that.
00:38:01You got so much on your plate, I'm gonna handle this.
00:38:03And especially because I'm the man of the house now, it's about-
00:38:05Since when?
00:38:06I-I'm really-
00:38:07Just shut up.
00:38:08Listen, Mom, I'm sorry.
00:38:09Just please, please, please, I'm begging.
00:38:11Just let me handle this.
00:38:14Alright.
00:38:15I'll let you handle it.
00:38:17Okay.
00:38:17But if I find out you've been doing anything to bring shame on my household, Del,
00:38:21you will no longer be a part of that household.
00:38:25You got me?
00:38:26Yes, ma'am.
00:38:27Out on your ass.
00:38:30Can-can I?
00:38:30Shut your mouth, Juice.
00:38:34Leon.
00:38:36Roberta.
00:38:42So, y'all got my money yet?
00:38:44Money?
00:38:44What?
00:38:46You got money?
00:38:47Money.
00:38:47Money.
00:38:49I know I'm broke, so I got-
00:38:51You got chapstick.
00:38:53You can use her.
00:38:54You want some- the bottom lip a little ashy.
00:38:56It's alright.
00:38:56Yeah.
00:38:57Okay, okay, I get it.
00:38:59See, you hang with stupid, so you assume everybody's stupid, but not me.
00:39:05See, after I attained my freedom, I drove by the old place where me and your father stashed our money.
00:39:11And guess what?
00:39:13They turned that shit into a mother fraternity!
00:39:18Really?
00:39:19Yeah.
00:39:19Wow.
00:39:20Now that was a surprise, but you know what was a shock?
00:39:23What's that?
00:39:24When I saw my ghetto ass nephew walking out of that fraternity like he fucking belonged there.
00:39:32Uh...
00:39:33Me?
00:39:33Oh yeah, oh yeah!
00:39:34It slipped my mind.
00:39:35I had went back to go to school, the guys was cool, but-
00:39:38You did.
00:39:38You did.
00:39:39There's money in the basement?
00:39:40I didn't know there was money there.
00:39:42Okay, let me get this drunk.
00:39:44Okay, let's make it clear.
00:39:48You got all studied up on your SATs and shit.
00:39:51Yeah, I did get an 800 on my SATs.
00:39:53It's out of 1600, mother .
00:39:56I'm gonna take the second half later.
00:39:58Then magically, you came up with the money to attend one of the most expensive ass schools in the country,
00:40:05and then on a whim, joined a fraternity that just so happened to be at the same address as the
00:40:12place where we stashed our money from the bank job!
00:40:16Is that right?
00:40:17You know what?
00:40:19This is the problem.
00:40:21This is exactly why a young black man can achieve greatness in this country.
00:40:24Because of the doubters, the haters.
00:40:26This is the first good lord to go to college.
00:40:29You can't be happy for your nephew for just one minute!
00:40:32Okay.
00:40:34But you gotta admit, that's a crazy coincidence, ain't it?
00:40:38It's kinda crazy.
00:40:39It's crazy.
00:40:39It's crazy.
00:40:40It's crazy.
00:40:41It's crazy.
00:40:42Where's my money, Dale?
00:40:43Shit, okay, okay.
00:40:44Uncle Leon, just chill.
00:40:46Look, if you're gonna blast me, then blast me.
00:40:47But that don't change the fact that I still don't got the money, okay?
00:40:51Oh, okay.
00:40:52Okay.
00:40:53This your girlfriend?
00:40:57Nope.
00:40:58I mean, she do be liking my pictures on Instagram late at night, so...
00:41:04You ever see somebody get they face blown apart, Dale?
00:41:08I have.
00:41:09Now ask yourself, do you want this to be the last memory of this girl right here?
00:41:15Because that shit sticks with you.
00:41:18Believe.
00:41:20All right, look.
00:41:22I've been trying to get the money, all right?
00:41:23But it hasn't been easy.
00:41:24I'm pledging this house.
00:41:26But these guys, they're in tents.
00:41:27You know what I'm saying?
00:41:28They never go to sleep, but I'm close.
00:41:30I'm real close.
00:41:30Just give me a few more days, and I'll have your money.
00:41:33I just need more time, all right?
00:41:36All right.
00:41:37I'll give you two days to do your thing.
00:41:39Two days and two nights or just a flat?
00:41:40Two days!
00:41:41Right.
00:41:42If you don't get it, I'm gonna go in there my damn self.
00:41:45Maybe your way, those Kappa Gamma b**** won't get they dick shot off.
00:41:51Oh.
00:41:51Mm-hmm.
00:41:52Now I'm gonna go in here with your sexy-ass mama and see if she can make me some of
00:41:58her world
00:41:59famous sassy eggs.
00:42:02Come on, man.
00:42:10What, Juice?
00:42:12Does this affect my 5%?
00:42:29My baby brought me a beer.
00:42:31That's a good bag.
00:42:32This is my baby boy.
00:42:33He looks like me a little bit, right?
00:42:34I see you.
00:42:34I see you.
00:42:36Suck it.
00:42:37Suck it!
00:42:38Go!
00:42:40Go!
00:42:41Go!
00:42:42Go!
00:42:42Go!
00:42:43Go!
00:42:44Go!
00:42:45Go!
00:42:48Go!
00:42:49Go!
00:42:50Go!
00:42:52Go!
00:42:53Go!
00:42:54Go!
00:43:04What are you doing in here, man?
00:43:07You should be out there with the other babies.
00:43:09Yeah, I just want to use the bathroom real quick.
00:43:11Just real quick.
00:43:12What do you think that diaper's for?
00:43:17No, I'm just fine.
00:43:18No.
00:43:19But there's no bathroom in there, man.
00:43:21That's the basement.
00:43:22There's no need to go in there.
00:43:25Listen, man, sometimes I just need a place to think,
00:43:28like clear my thoughts, and I just thought down there
00:43:29would be best.
00:43:32I get it, man.
00:43:34I know this hazing stuff is exhausting.
00:43:36Yeah, so exhausting.
00:43:38Degrading.
00:43:39You got me in a diaper.
00:43:40I know it's silly, man.
00:43:42But once you make it through this,
00:43:44we're brothers, family.
00:43:47Tell each other secrets.
00:43:50Watch each other's backs.
00:43:52So you're going to join this family?
00:43:56Yeah, man.
00:43:57I'm going to do it.
00:43:58Okay.
00:43:59We're going to have to hit this basement, though.
00:44:01Man, what are you talking about?
00:44:02Get out there with the babies.
00:44:03Come on, man.
00:44:04Do the baby walk, though.
00:44:06Do that.
00:44:06Do that.
00:44:07Baby walk.
00:44:08There it go.
00:44:09Hey, hit it.
00:44:10What?
00:44:10Yeah.
00:44:11Glad we had this talk, man.
00:44:12Straight up.
00:44:13Ha, ha.
00:44:14Listen up, babies.
00:44:15You may think pledging is all diapers,
00:44:19binkies, and verbal abuse.
00:44:22But it's also about giving back to the community.
00:44:25So our Red Hot Bros and Filthy Rich Females charity gal is coming up.
00:44:30And you, dirtbags, along with our beautiful selves,
00:44:33are going to be auctioned off to the highest bidders from our sister sorority.
00:44:38Trigger warning.
00:44:39Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:44:39T.W., T.W., what's that Pledge Butters were?
00:44:42I'm sorry.
00:44:43I just thought I heard him say that you guys were going to auction us off.
00:44:46Well, yeah, in order to raise money for local charities,
00:44:49you'll be auctioned off.
00:44:50Oh, I hear it now.
00:44:51Oh, shit.
00:44:52Not again.
00:44:52Come on, man.
00:44:53You can't be serious.
00:44:55Oh, I'm sorry, Barack,
00:44:56if you and I have a slightly different reaction to the idea of us being auctioned off
00:44:59to rich white people outside of a plantation house.
00:45:02Okay, let's broddle.
00:45:04Hey, broddle.
00:45:09No way he's getting out of this.
00:45:14Hey, look, I knew a black guy growing up,
00:45:16and he was not like this, man.
00:45:17You could say anything you wanted to him.
00:45:19Yeah, even let me touch his hair.
00:45:23Okay.
00:45:25Buttersworth.
00:45:25Yeah.
00:45:26Uh, you don't have to be auctioned off.
00:45:28We're going to make you the auctioneer.
00:45:29It'll be empowering.
00:45:34Yeah, yeah, I guess that works.
00:45:36It's an affirmative auction.
00:45:39I am a master.
00:45:41I play white guilt like Michael Jordan plays basketball.
00:45:43I'm talking like Stevie Wonder plays the piano.
00:45:45Okay, so you're the auctioneer.
00:45:49So what?
00:45:50So, since I'm in charge of the proceedings...
00:45:53Yeah, don't mess this up, pledge!
00:45:55I can keep me busy while you guys go look for the money.
00:45:57Now, my great-great-great-great-granddaddy would love to hear me say this.
00:46:01Get your bill folks out, because we're buying white people today.
00:46:04Yeah!
00:46:05Thank you, Lord!
00:46:07But first, gonna need to figure out a way to get you into the party.
00:46:11How about having tits on a pulse?
00:46:15That'll work.
00:46:18Once everyone's outside, Juice, you're gonna slip into the basement and make you move.
00:46:23The longer I can keep the auction going, the more time it buys us to look for the money.
00:46:28Come on!
00:46:30Juice, I'll make sure the tools are down there waiting for you.
00:46:33Oh!
00:46:34Oh!
00:46:35Oh, yeah.
00:46:36Oh, yeah.
00:46:38I think that's your spot right there.
00:46:39Brother Clark here is actually an amazing impressionist.
00:46:43No.
00:46:44Yes.
00:46:44Got some impressions for us, don't you?
00:46:46I do not.
00:46:48Um...
00:46:49Woo!
00:46:50You're a little tight.
00:46:53Okay, you're kind of like my ex.
00:46:54It's kind of hard to find your spot, but I'm gonna find you.
00:46:57Why don't you try someone that everybody knows?
00:46:58Like Denzel Washington.
00:47:00You know.
00:47:00You put your shoulders up, and you go, okay, all right, huh?
00:47:03What are we at an auction?
00:47:04What are we gonna buy white people?
00:47:05That's what you're telling me?
00:47:06You're telling me you're gonna buy white people?
00:47:07What type of white people are we gonna buy, huh?
00:47:10I don't think I should do that.
00:47:14And now let's get Brother Ben to the stage, ladies and gentlemen.
00:47:17Ben!
00:47:19Aw, come on, bro.
00:47:20That's not cool.
00:47:21What are you talking about, man?
00:47:23Drawing dicks is always funny.
00:47:25You ladies know our resident sexpert, Brother Eddie?
00:47:28I got these pigeons here.
00:47:30No, no, no.
00:47:31We put these pigeons together, and we make them kiff.
00:47:34Yeah, no, definitely not that one.
00:47:36You know any comedians?
00:47:37Bill Cosby.
00:47:37Do you know Bill Cosby?
00:47:38I could maybe try that.
00:47:39Um, mm, perfect.
00:47:41Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Bill Cosby.
00:47:44Mm, mm.
00:47:45All right.
00:47:46You see, when she eats the pudding,
00:47:51you put the quaaludes in the pudding,
00:47:53and then she eats the pudding,
00:47:55and she gets sleepy with the pudding,
00:47:57and then you climb on top of her,
00:47:59and you put in your black penis in your...
00:48:01No, no, no, no, you don't.
00:48:02What?
00:48:03Guys, um, Clark, anybody want to bid on Clark?
00:48:05Okay?
00:48:05Okay.
00:48:06Two.
00:48:07Three.
00:48:08Yeah.
00:48:08Two flicks, uh-huh.
00:48:10Yeah.
00:48:11Okay.
00:48:12Okay.
00:48:14Ow!
00:48:15Ow!
00:48:16These white boys got red.
00:48:19Thank you, Miss Benz.
00:48:20Way to go.
00:48:21Way to go.
00:48:24And now a man who used a Macklemore lyric
00:48:27as his yearbook quote.
00:48:28Brother Barack with a freestyle.
00:48:34Okay.
00:48:35Okay.
00:48:36All right.
00:48:37All right.
00:48:37Okay.
00:48:38All right.
00:48:42Okay.
00:48:42All right.
00:48:51All right.
00:48:53Okay.
00:48:53Once you go Barack, you might never go back.
00:48:56Back.
00:48:56Make your body numb like a heart attack.
00:48:59Okay.
00:48:59Here's your chance.
00:49:00So pull the trigger.
00:49:02Put it down on you, cause I'm a dope bastard.
00:49:09What the fuck am I supposed to say today?
00:49:12Wait.
00:49:13Did you forget about me?
00:49:15Why am I there?
00:49:16You're gonna bid on Barack.
00:49:18Look, he's been on me since I got there.
00:49:20I just need you to keep him out the basement.
00:49:21I'm not fucking him.
00:49:23What?
00:49:23No, no, no.
00:49:24No.
00:49:25Never.
00:49:25Don't do that.
00:49:26Ever.
00:49:27You want me to fuck him?
00:49:28Huh?
00:49:28What?
00:49:29That's a million dollars.
00:49:30Yeah, but you are only making 50K.
00:49:33For 50Gs, my list of not-dos is pretty short.
00:49:36Okay.
00:49:37Walk it back a step.
00:49:38You want me to win him in the auction, right?
00:49:40Yeah.
00:49:41What am I winning him with?
00:49:42We're broke.
00:49:4436.
00:49:4538.
00:49:46Oh, I got a scratcher.
00:49:47Wait a minute.
00:49:52We got 38.
00:49:55$42.68.
00:49:56How is that going to be enough?
00:49:59I'll make it be enough.
00:50:01$20.
00:50:04$25.
00:50:07$25.
00:50:09$25.
00:50:09$30.
00:50:10$35.
00:50:12$35.
00:50:13$35.
00:50:14$40.
00:50:17$42.
00:50:21$50.
00:50:23$42.
00:50:24$42.
00:50:26$42.
00:50:26$42 for a once.
00:50:28I just said $50.
00:50:30$42.
00:50:31$42 going twice.
00:50:32$50!
00:50:33$50!
00:50:33Slow to the woman in the red dress.
00:50:35Are you deaf, asshole?
00:50:37This is not how options work, dumbass.
00:50:43Nice work, Buttersworth.
00:50:57I haven't seen you around before.
00:50:59Yo, you should talk.
00:51:02It's nice night.
00:51:04You wanna go for a walk?
00:51:07Nah, I got something special for you.
00:51:09Follow me.
00:51:14Ted, it's my damn, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, I found you.
00:51:24Oh, yeah, I found the money.
00:51:29So I have one of my clueless pledges, clean this place with a toothbrush.
00:51:34You know, actually, let's just go for a drink at the bar out back.
00:51:37Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:51:38Let's get out of here.
00:51:39See, the thing is, I got us all covered.
00:51:41Okay, okay, I'm coming.
00:51:43Ah, I got us covered down here.
00:51:46You bit on me, right?
00:51:47That's right.
00:51:50Voila.
00:51:52I whipped up this little surprise just for the occasion.
00:51:57Wow.
00:51:58You did all of this?
00:52:01That's impressive.
00:52:02Yeah.
00:52:03Okay, let's get out of here.
00:52:05I'm just feeling claustrophobic.
00:52:06Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:52:07There's no need to be so anxious.
00:52:09Okay, you wanna talk?
00:52:11Let's talk.
00:52:12Let's talk.
00:52:19Let's get to know each other better.
00:52:23What are you looking at?
00:52:24You!
00:52:25You're cutting?
00:52:27Yeah, I'm looking at you.
00:52:28Oh, this is dope.
00:52:31So, uh, you feel like maybe a lap dance?
00:52:35Sure.
00:52:37Oh, yeah.
00:52:40Go ahead.
00:52:43No, I meant you give me one.
00:52:45A man giving a woman a lap dance.
00:52:49It's an instant panty dropper.
00:52:53What?
00:52:54Oh, yeah.
00:52:58All you can handle.
00:53:00Yeah?
00:53:01Okay.
00:53:02All right.
00:53:03You on some feminism shit.
00:53:05Got the empowered woman.
00:53:06Well, bring it, girl.
00:53:08Okay.
00:53:09Here we go.
00:53:11Woo!
00:53:12Yeah.
00:53:13It's already getting so sexy.
00:53:15It's so good.
00:53:17Good.
00:53:18I'm doing it.
00:53:18Yeah, you like that?
00:53:19I'm getting super wet over it.
00:53:22Yeah.
00:53:22Tell me what you want, baby.
00:53:24Just keep looking at me.
00:53:25Oh, my God.
00:53:26Woo!
00:53:28Okay.
00:53:28Love it.
00:53:28Yeah, it takes something off.
00:53:30Woo!
00:53:31Yeah.
00:53:32Yeah.
00:53:32See that belly button?
00:53:33Flash it again.
00:53:34Oh, yeah.
00:53:35Oh, my God.
00:53:36I love it.
00:53:36Yeah, it's an in the outie.
00:53:37It's like in, but it's out.
00:53:39Woo!
00:53:40Oh, that'll be gone.
00:53:41Just keep facing over to me.
00:53:43It's just gonna go.
00:53:44Oh, my God.
00:53:45Oh, my God.
00:53:47It's so dangerous.
00:53:48Ha, ha.
00:53:49Yeah.
00:53:49Yeah.
00:53:49It's like Justin Bieber and Austin Powers had a baby, and it's you.
00:53:53Oh, that's my belly button.
00:53:54Oh, my God.
00:53:55Yeah.
00:53:55Get it off.
00:53:56And there are your pants coming off.
00:53:59Okay.
00:53:59Oh, my God.
00:54:00All right.
00:54:00Oh, my God.
00:54:01It's so hot.
00:54:02Oh.
00:54:03Yeah.
00:54:03Oh, okay.
00:54:04What is that?
00:54:04Is that a dab?
00:54:05That's called a dab.
00:54:07That's so good.
00:54:07And then we're gonna dab it over to you.
00:54:09No!
00:54:10Oh, shit.
00:54:11Ow, girl.
00:54:12Yeah, face it.
00:54:13Oh, dude.
00:54:13Ass up.
00:54:15That's the way we like to fuck.
00:54:17You filthy, girl.
00:54:18I love it.
00:54:19Yeah?
00:54:20Yeah.
00:54:20All right.
00:54:21Man, you know, this is like a new experience for me.
00:54:24I feel both degraded and empowered.
00:54:28Is that what it's like to be a woman?
00:54:30You still there, baby?
00:54:31Oh.
00:54:31Keep your face away.
00:54:33Yeah, I'm a bad boy.
00:54:34I think I need to be spanked.
00:54:37Spanked?
00:54:37Woo-hoo-hoo.
00:54:39Yeah?
00:54:40Gone.
00:54:40I've been a bad boy.
00:54:42Punish me, girl.
00:54:44I'm so bad.
00:54:46Put something on it, girl.
00:54:47I'm ready.
00:54:49Oh!
00:54:50Fuck!
00:54:51Shit, that stinks!
00:54:53Oh, you're insane, girl!
00:54:54Mmm!
00:54:55I'm sorry.
00:54:56God.
00:54:59I'm in charge here.
00:55:00Shit.
00:55:01I clearly can't trust you.
00:55:03I'm gonna tie you up.
00:55:05Yeah.
00:55:05Keep facing the wall, bitch.
00:55:07Yeah, you're tighter, baby.
00:55:08Damn!
00:55:09Time for the blindfold.
00:55:11Oh.
00:55:12Oh, yeah.
00:55:14Mm-hmm.
00:55:16Yeah.
00:55:16Like that?
00:55:17Yes, ma'am.
00:55:18Damn.
00:55:18Woo!
00:55:19Mm.
00:55:26Oh, yeah.
00:55:27Hey, it's kind of wet.
00:55:30Yeah?
00:55:32Yeah.
00:55:34How do you think it got that way?
00:55:38Oh, okay.
00:55:40You pungent as you is beautiful, okay?
00:55:44But now it's my turn, all right?
00:55:46Hey, okay.
00:55:46Yeah.
00:55:48Yeah.
00:55:49I'm in charge now.
00:55:50Look, I know you're not used to this, but...
00:55:54I'm a brother who's not afraid to go down on a girl.
00:55:58Yeah?
00:55:58So, you just go ahead and you pipe that skirt up and you're ready for some heaven, okay?
00:56:04Mm-hmm.
00:56:05We love it.
00:56:06Woo!
00:56:06You excited?
00:56:07Okay, girl, I get it.
00:56:09Woo!
00:56:09Oh!
00:56:10So excited.
00:56:11Mm!
00:56:18Oh, damn.
00:56:19You, like, got it all 70s and shit.
00:56:22Yeah.
00:56:23I can dig a natural.
00:56:25Hey, what's up, everybody?
00:56:26Hey, we got the money.
00:56:27No, no, no.
00:56:28Hey, hey.
00:56:28No Snapchat, no Instagram, no nothing, man.
00:56:31How's your phone even working?
00:56:32Y'all ain't got a little boost, boop, boop?
00:56:34This shit waterproof.
00:56:35All right, man.
00:56:35Stop with the pictures.
00:56:36Open that shit up.
00:56:37Let's see what we got.
00:56:38Yeah.
00:56:39Let's get it, baby.
00:56:40Woo!
00:56:43How does it smell?
00:56:44How does it feel?
00:56:46Okay.
00:56:47We got a blockbuster DVD of Encino, man.
00:56:51You say what?
00:56:52Yep.
00:56:52Take a look.
00:56:54All right.
00:56:54Oh, we got a mixtape.
00:56:57The Big Booty Grind mix.
00:56:59Big Booty Grind?
00:57:00Yeah.
00:57:00What the fuck is that?
00:57:01We got a Zima.
00:57:02No, the money.
00:57:03Look at it.
00:57:04Okay.
00:57:04Oh, it's a note.
00:57:05What?
00:57:05All right.
00:57:06Dear Kappa Alpha Chi, brothers of the future,
00:57:07we are burying this time capsule
00:57:09in the wall of our house
00:57:10in hopes that you will one day uncover it
00:57:12and see how your ancestors party.
00:57:14What is the future like?
00:57:16Are there blowjob robots?
00:57:17A fucking time capsule?
00:57:19What's a time capsule?
00:57:20No money?
00:57:21Everybody gonna get their dick shot off.
00:57:24I do love Encino men, though.
00:57:27Yo.
00:57:27Yo, damn.
00:57:28Fuck!
00:57:29Shit!
00:57:30Fuck!
00:57:31Fuck!
00:57:31Man, this is your car!
00:57:32Give me that thing!
00:57:34Fuck this shit!
00:57:37We tried.
00:57:38It's over.
00:57:38Maybe it's not, man.
00:57:40If we got in the basement once,
00:57:41we can get in there again.
00:57:42How?
00:57:43We barely got in there tonight.
00:57:45Uncle Leo's gonna track us down
00:57:47and it's over.
00:57:48What don't y'all get?
00:57:51I'm done with this shit.
00:57:52For real this time.
00:57:54Wow.
00:57:55Del Goodlowe not following through
00:57:57on something I can't believe.
00:58:01And what's that supposed to mean?
00:58:02You've never seen anything through
00:58:04in your whole life.
00:58:07But then your dad told you about the money
00:58:09and I saw a side of you
00:58:10I've never seen before.
00:58:12We're taking charge.
00:58:15Coming up with plans.
00:58:17Trying to do right by your mom.
00:58:19Charming your way into a rich frat house.
00:58:21I mean, for a second there,
00:58:24I was actually impressed by you.
00:58:27You know, I thought you were doing this
00:58:30to save those friends of yours
00:58:32from Leon,
00:58:33but if you're giving up,
00:58:33then I guess not.
00:58:36I mean, what do you care, right?
00:58:42You just got your sneakers and me.
00:58:48You think I don't care?
00:58:50I got more at stake in this
00:58:51than both of y'all.
00:58:53What am I supposed to do, huh?
00:58:54Going there with the bat
00:58:55over Uncle Leon's skull?
00:58:57What's that going to get me?
00:58:58A broken bat, most likely.
00:59:00He's pretty solid.
00:59:02Look, Alicia, I'm not backing down.
00:59:04I just don't know how to go for it either.
00:59:17There they are.
00:59:18Oh, I hope you don't mind.
00:59:20I got in a few reps while I was waiting.
00:59:25So, what's it going to be?
00:59:27Money bags or body bags?
00:59:29Well, definitely not the body bags,
00:59:32but we ran into some problems.
00:59:35You don't want to hear the story,
00:59:36but we don't have the money right now, so...
00:59:40No, no, no.
00:59:40Don't reach back there.
00:59:41You don't need the gun.
00:59:43That is disappointing.
00:59:45Look, like I said before,
00:59:46we tried to get the money,
00:59:47and we fail.
00:59:48You can't win them all.
00:59:48Am I right?
00:59:49Relatable?
00:59:50Let's put the gun down.
00:59:51You know how many times in my life
00:59:53I said I tried?
00:59:54Say, like, maybe 10, 10, 15?
00:59:56Never!
00:59:56Are you crazy?
00:59:58I got a mind
01:00:00to teach your ass a lesson.
01:00:02No, no, let's just teach me.
01:00:04I'm going to let you get over here.
01:00:04Don't touch my gun.
01:00:06Don't ever touch my gun.
01:00:07Okay, not touching the gun.
01:00:08Just touching your finger.
01:00:09Touching the gun is like touching a man's dick.
01:00:11Don't touch my gun.
01:00:12He said it's his dick.
01:00:13Don't touch it.
01:00:14I'm not touching the gun.
01:00:24I'm just telling you,
01:00:25you're not going to get no money.
01:00:27All right, so let me go back to the house,
01:00:29and let me get the money.
01:00:3024 hours.
01:00:31That's all I need.
01:00:3224 hours.
01:00:33That's okay.
01:00:33How do I know you ain't going to just fuck up?
01:00:36Ah, let go of my sandal game.
01:00:38Do I look like I'm going to fuck up?
01:00:43Oh, man, he ain't going to fuck up.
01:00:45He ain't going to fuck up.
01:00:49You know what?
01:00:51I believe you.
01:00:52Oh, damn.
01:00:53I believe you.
01:00:54Okay, woo.
01:00:55You know what?
01:00:56For the first time,
01:00:58you actually look like your father's son.
01:01:01I'm proud of you.
01:01:03All right.
01:01:04All right, motherfuckers.
01:01:0624 hours for your ass.
01:01:10And then I'm going to come,
01:01:12snatch up your mama,
01:01:14and ride her sweet ass out of here.
01:01:17Come on with the mama stuff, man.
01:01:22You all right?
01:01:22I would be better if I wasn't shot.
01:01:24Juice, come on, man.
01:01:2550 cent got shot nine times.
01:01:26You got shot on your pinky toe,
01:01:27acting like a bitch.
01:01:29Shit hurt, okay?
01:01:30It's just a great song.
01:01:32About to lose a leg.
01:01:33You're fine.
01:01:33What's the play?
01:01:35I don't know a play, okay?
01:01:37You heard what he said.
01:01:38If I don't have the money,
01:01:39he's going to come back,
01:01:39he's going to shoot us,
01:01:40he's going to go to the frat house
01:01:41and kill everybody there.
01:01:42What am I supposed to do?
01:01:45I need some anesthesia.
01:01:46You know what?
01:01:47Matter of fact,
01:01:47take me to the back.
01:01:48Shoot me in the head like a horse.
01:01:50Just put me down.
01:01:50Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:01:51Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.
01:01:54No, no.
01:01:54No, no, no, not put him down.
01:01:56Put him to sleep.
01:01:57Can you get me roofies?
01:01:58What?
01:01:59You know what?
01:01:59I'm insulted right now
01:02:01that you would think
01:02:01that I'm the roofie guy.
01:02:02Next time I need roofies,
01:02:04I'll present it
01:02:04in a more diplomatic way.
01:02:06But for now,
01:02:07can you get me roofies?
01:02:08Yes or no?
01:02:11Yeah, of course.
01:02:14Gentlemen,
01:02:17welcome to your final night
01:02:19of Pledship.
01:02:24I know this ain't been
01:02:25an easy time for y'all.
01:02:27It's been especially hard
01:02:29on some of you.
01:02:31And we had to make it hard on you.
01:02:33Because what you're about
01:02:34to step into is so great.
01:02:37Brotherhood.
01:02:38Built on loyalty.
01:02:41Honesty.
01:02:43Trust.
01:02:44And booze and pussy.
01:02:47I love these guys, man.
01:02:52And now,
01:02:53in the grand tradition
01:02:54of our esteemed forefathers
01:02:56who preceded us,
01:02:57we will seal
01:02:58the bond of brotherhood
01:03:00through the drinking
01:03:01of the ceremonial punch
01:03:03consisting of grain alcohol,
01:03:05store-brand fruit punch,
01:03:07and a little bit of liquid THC.
01:03:12Who wants to step up?
01:03:42Let's go.
01:03:43Loyalty, trust, and honesty.
01:04:05With that, we'd like to welcome you former shitbags as our brothers.
01:04:11Kappa Alpha Kappa Lose!
01:04:14Kappa Alpha Kappa Lose!
01:04:41Kappa Alpha Kappa Lose!
01:04:44Kappa Alpha Kappa Lose!
01:04:47I think we might have gone heavy on the THC.
01:04:55See...
01:04:56Kappa Lose!
01:05:00Kappa Lose!
01:05:02Oh man.
01:05:03I think I'm good.
01:05:19Oh!
01:05:21That punch was strong!
01:05:24Yeah!
01:05:28Okay, um...
01:05:29Work!
01:05:29Work!
01:05:30Gotta get to work!
01:05:31I don't know why!
01:05:32I don't know why!
01:05:33I don't know why!
01:05:34I don't know why we...
01:05:35We're doing this!
01:05:36Best kid that I got my foot on the cash.
01:05:38She's just not aware.
01:05:38I'm ready to do it.
01:05:39I'm ready to go.
01:05:42Download the cash!
01:05:43Bye, Sandra, on the way!
01:05:47Money!
01:05:49Money, listen...
01:05:49I just want to talk to you!
01:05:53What are you doing down here, Pledge?
01:05:55Don't you know who I am?
01:05:56Who the fuck are you?
01:05:58Dumb son of a bitch.
01:05:59I'm you, motherfucker.
01:06:02You me?
01:06:03Oh, now hit that shit.
01:06:05We in this together, huh?
01:06:07God damn.
01:06:13It's in the wall.
01:06:14I'm looking in the wall.
01:06:19I'm gonna do money and I will stay.
01:06:52You son of a bitch.
01:06:59I'm gonna do money.
01:07:05Oh, come on.
01:07:19I got the money.
01:07:21I got the money.
01:07:23I got the money.
01:07:24Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:07:25Ha!
01:07:25Ha!
01:07:26I got the money.
01:07:28I got the money.
01:07:30Oh, shut up.
01:07:32No, I got the money, motherfucker.
01:07:37Where is he?
01:07:38You should have been back here by now.
01:07:40You know what?
01:07:40I don't know.
01:07:41I can't really guess at me how long it takes to knock out a room full of white boys,
01:07:44snatch a million dollars, and drive all the way to this neighborhood in Thursday traffic.
01:07:50Evening, dummies.
01:07:55He's the traitor.
01:08:01What the fuck did you do, Buttersworth?
01:08:03I didn't do nothing.
01:08:04I was knocked out.
01:08:05We got a roofie.
01:08:06Everyone else is still out.
01:08:07Well, while we were out, someone jacked all our shit.
01:08:11Took our weed, our cash, everything.
01:08:12You doubted me about this, then look what happened.
01:08:14I knew you were up to something.
01:08:15I wasn't up to nothing.
01:08:16You guys are always talking about brotherhood.
01:08:18Having each other's back through thick and thin.
01:08:19Something crazy happens, this how y'all act?
01:08:22Come on.
01:08:25You're not my brother.
01:08:27You're a fucking thief.
01:08:29I'm not a thief.
01:08:30I would never steal y'all's shit.
01:08:33But I think I know who did.
01:08:34So what I'll do, is I'll go get it for y'all.
01:08:37And I'll come right back.
01:08:38Cause where I'm from, that's what brothers do.
01:08:40We have each other's back.
01:08:42Just ease up.
01:08:43Hey.
01:08:45You're not going anywhere.
01:08:49At least not by yourself.
01:08:50A Kappa Alpha Chi brother never stands alone.
01:08:53So if you're going, we're going.
01:08:54Hold on.
01:08:56Look at this.
01:08:57That's great. That's real cute.
01:08:59I think I'm going to handle this one on my own.
01:09:01You guys just chill here.
01:09:02Alright?
01:09:03I don't think so, but it's worth it.
01:09:06You don't have to do anything on your own anymore.
01:09:09The Kappa Alpha Chi now.
01:09:11You guys don't understand.
01:09:12This guy is real.
01:09:13Trust me, he's dangerous.
01:09:14Y'all just stay here and chill.
01:09:16I got this.
01:09:16There's not a chance.
01:09:18These guys are right.
01:09:20You got your back.
01:09:23Family now.
01:09:24Right?
01:09:27Kappa Alpha Chi for life.
01:09:29Kappa Alpha Chi for life.
01:09:31Alright.
01:09:33Kappa Alpha Chi for life.
01:09:35Woo!
01:09:37You know there's like a bunch of dicks on your face?
01:09:41Like a bunch.
01:09:42Yeah, there's a lot of them.
01:09:4498.
01:09:47Ooh.
01:09:51100.
01:09:52Now, now, Berta.
01:09:54I got a lot of money here.
01:09:56I can make you happy.
01:09:59I'll get you anything you want.
01:10:02We'll make a life together.
01:10:04I don't want your dirty money, Leon.
01:10:06I'm fine with my life just as it is.
01:10:08We just got the phone back on.
01:10:10Thinking about a second line.
01:10:11Where's my son?
01:10:13Woman.
01:10:14How am I gonna focus on getting up in that pussy
01:10:18when all you can talk about is what came out of it?
01:10:20Ew.
01:10:21I think I can get us out of here.
01:10:23Go ahead. You got that?
01:10:24Oh.
01:10:25You got soft hands.
01:10:26I never know.
01:10:27You shut up.
01:10:27You shut up.
01:10:28You shut up.
01:10:32Alright, you guys hang out by the back door and wait for the signal.
01:10:35Okay, yeah, totally.
01:10:37Yeah, what's the signal though?
01:10:38Bro, I told you it's man.
01:10:40Man.
01:10:41Man.
01:10:41Man.
01:10:41Man.
01:10:42Like, like, man.
01:10:44Man.
01:10:45Okay.
01:10:45No.
01:10:47Okay.
01:10:50Yes!
01:10:51Yes!
01:10:52Yes!
01:10:52Yes!
01:10:53Fuck you, Berta.
01:10:55You just missed out on the greatest dick you'd ever known.
01:11:02Black Mr. Clean!
01:11:04I heard, uh, roids make your dick small.
01:11:07What the fuck did you just say to me?
01:11:12Uh...
01:11:12You and this bitch are just lucky to be alive!
01:11:15Oh, you gonna be sorry you said that.
01:11:18We-we-we cool.
01:11:19It's cool, we cool.
01:11:19I'm sorry, I apologize.
01:11:22Get your ass back!
01:11:25Motherfuckers have tried and died!
01:11:27Sneaking up on Leon Goodlaw!
01:11:29Can you make out anything you say?
01:11:31Not really.
01:11:33Sounds like when a chick's telling you about her childhood while she's eating out your asshole.
01:11:37Dude.
01:11:39That is exactly what it sounds like.
01:11:42Oh, shit.
01:11:43Everybody likes butt stuff.
01:11:45You still have balls on your chin.
01:11:49What the fuck are you doing?
01:11:51Okay, okay, Leon.
01:11:53Leon!
01:11:54Just put the crowbar down and I will come with you.
01:11:57Leave Del out of this.
01:11:58Del, step aside.
01:11:59Mom, I got this.
01:12:00Alright?
01:12:01Time for me to stay on my ground.
01:12:04I said it's time I be a man!
01:12:10I said it's time I be a man!
01:12:10It's time I be a man!
01:12:16You be a man then, what?
01:12:18I said it's time for me to be a man right now!
01:12:22Bro, did you see that video that said that Tupac is alive and working with the Illuminati?
01:12:26Aaliyah and Left Eye, too.
01:12:28Yeah, and it's all true.
01:12:29It's right there on the internet.
01:12:30It's like they're not even trying to cover it up.
01:12:31Wait, wait, wait.
01:12:33You guys hear that?
01:12:37Yo, that sounds like a gap.
01:12:39It is, dawg.
01:12:42I need to be a man!
01:12:46Baby, are you having a stroke?
01:12:48Come on, man.
01:12:49Please don't rob us again.
01:12:51My dad was on the phone with the bank for hours getting new credit cards, hassle factors, like...
01:12:54Do I look like I fucking care?
01:12:56No.
01:12:57I warned y'all not to come back here.
01:13:01I got this.
01:13:04Well, you want to be a man.
01:13:07All I see is a little boy about to piss himself.
01:13:11That's what I meant, man!
01:13:12Okay?
01:13:12Good idea!
01:13:13Get your ass over there!
01:13:16You're trying to blame me!
01:13:17You're trying to blame me!
01:13:18Hey, call your boy often!
01:13:20We know we're supposed to wait for your signal to come and help you,
01:13:23but we couldn't hear your signal and now we need help!
01:13:26Oh.
01:13:27Hold up, hold up.
01:13:29Is that him?
01:13:31Is that the fucker that took our shitties?
01:13:33Huge!
01:13:34Yo, show some respect, little homie.
01:13:36That is Leon Goodloe, son.
01:13:38Ghetto legend.
01:13:39Hood Hall of Fame, motherfucker.
01:13:41This thug right here is a no-good lowlife, and he's the type that I do not associate myself with.
01:13:48You don't associate with?
01:13:51Ask yourself, have you ever seen your friend here in class?
01:13:54Or doing homework?
01:13:55I maintain a solid GPA.
01:13:57What I do on my own time is my own business, thank you very much.
01:14:00Who's your own time?
01:14:01What, snooping around in that basement?
01:14:03I'm Captain Alpaca, motherfucker!
01:14:04What's good?
01:14:05Captain Alpaca!
01:14:06Tell him who the fuck you are!
01:14:08Okay, you got the gun right there.
01:14:10Guys, just real quick, I'm gonna keep it 100 with you.
01:14:12Um, my real name is Del Goodloe, okay?
01:14:15I'm not a college student, I lied about that.
01:14:17I just did it so I can get into your frat and take the money that my uncle and father
01:14:22stashed there years ago.
01:14:23So, that's the whole truth.
01:14:30Oh my God!
01:14:32I told you!
01:14:33I told you!
01:14:34I told you!
01:14:35I told you!
01:14:36I told you!
01:14:37I told you!
01:14:38I told you!
01:14:38Like six times!
01:14:39This new guy was up to something!
01:14:45Yes!
01:14:46Okay!
01:14:47Obviously, he looks exactly like that fire inspector who came to our house.
01:14:50But I couldn't say that then!
01:14:52And yes, it does seem a little fishy in retrospect that he kept offering to remodel our basement.
01:14:57I bet you're not even a licensed contractor.
01:15:00No, I'm not.
01:15:02You're an asshole.
01:15:05How much money are we talking about here, Del?
01:15:08Ain't no big deal.
01:15:10Just a little something left over from an old job.
01:15:13A little money?
01:15:13There's a million dollars in it!
01:15:17Right?
01:15:18A million dollars!
01:15:20I thought you didn't want no dirty money!
01:15:22Shit!
01:15:23My morals start to get real flexible around the mid-six figures.
01:15:26You know, legally speaking, depending on how long that's been in our basement, we may technically own it thanks to
01:15:33something called adverse possession.
01:15:36Pre-law.
01:15:37Yeah.
01:15:37Lucky for me, I don't give a shit about the law.
01:15:40Okay.
01:15:41So give me the fucking money, man.
01:15:44Whatever happened to me being a ghetto legend?
01:15:47Still true.
01:15:48But...
01:15:49A million dollars, bruh.
01:15:52Not to mention the shine my reputation gonna get if I take out a badass motherfucker like yourself.
01:15:59I respect that.
01:16:01But you ain't getting that shit.
01:16:02I earned that.
01:16:05However...
01:16:08I think you might enjoy the contents of that bag.
01:16:11Just some odds and ends I managed to relieve these boys of earlier.
01:16:15Get about 20 G's for that shit.
01:16:22That's real nice of you, Leon.
01:16:25Real nice.
01:16:26It'd be even nicer, though, if you just handed over the rest now, too.
01:16:34Woo-wee!
01:16:35Oh!
01:16:36Look like you got us in a mess now, Dale.
01:16:39Huh?
01:16:40Ain't nobody leaving this motherfucker until there's some blood on the floor.
01:16:45Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:16:46Okay?
01:16:47I'm sorry.
01:16:48I'm sorry.
01:16:49Alright?
01:16:49I'm sorry to everyone.
01:16:51I know you guys are pissed, and look, you got every reason to be, but you gotta understand
01:16:55why I did what I did.
01:16:56Okay?
01:16:56I did it for my moms.
01:16:57I did it to help save this place.
01:17:00And Uncle Leon, come on, man.
01:17:03Remember when you and my dad helped start this gym?
01:17:05Remember how proud you were?
01:17:07How proud you were to get these kids off the streets?
01:17:10Turned my life around.
01:17:15And guys, I'll admit, when I first met y'all, I thought you were a bunch of overprivileged,
01:17:20ignorant assholes with tiny hands standing between me and what I needed.
01:17:23But I misjudged y'all.
01:17:24And y'all are family.
01:17:26Y'all are brothers.
01:17:28I really believe what Brock said earlier.
01:17:30Family has each other's back no matter what.
01:17:32Even if they fuck up.
01:17:35Whether that family name is Kappa Alpha Chi.
01:17:37Kappa Alpha Chi.
01:17:42Kappa Alpha Chi.
01:17:42Or good love.
01:17:46Fuck you, Dale.
01:17:48Ain't no sentimental conflict resolution bullshit gonna work on me.
01:17:57Well, fuck you, too!
01:17:59Ah!
01:18:03They shucked me in the ass.
01:18:04Shut up!
01:18:05Barely grazed your ass.
01:18:07Oh, it hurts!
01:18:07It hurts!
01:18:08I told you it hurts.
01:18:09Huh?
01:18:11Now eat now!
01:18:15You know what, Dale?
01:18:18When I found out your father had told you about the money, my first thought was-
01:18:23Oh!
01:18:24Oh!
01:18:25Shit!
01:18:36God damn it, Dale!
01:18:38How many times did I tell you to fix the motherfuckin' air conditioner?
01:18:46So there you go.
01:18:47Good things do happen in the hood.
01:18:49My mom's got to keep the gym, baby.
01:18:51And there was still plenty of money to go around.
01:18:54Here you go, boys.
01:18:55Sorry about the basement.
01:18:58So now we got a family, and we got a business.
01:19:01Bring it in! Bring it in!
01:19:02And even though our insurance payments tripled, I made sure your boy Juice got a job.
01:19:06Juice, you know your workman's comp doesn't cover stupid, right?
01:19:09Why did you climb a ladder so that you could bend down?
01:19:14Oh, what up, neighbor?
01:19:16What up?
01:19:17All the fellas at Kappa Alpha-Kai learned how to do some real charity work for a change.
01:19:22Let's practice!
01:19:23Come on, let's club up!
01:19:24And Trap, well, he was happy to be back in the gym and part of the family again.
01:19:28We even gave him a job.
01:19:31Collections.
01:19:31Yeah.
01:19:33We missing out on some serious loot, baby.
01:19:36We need to get that back.
01:19:39And Pops must have heard the news.
01:19:41Cause I changed our number twice and he's still calling.
01:19:44This is them jam, leave a message.
01:19:46Man, answer the damn phone!
01:19:47It's me!
01:19:48It's Dre!
01:19:50I swear you dead if you make that jam a damn crossfit.
01:19:53Hello?
01:19:55Feels good to get back to the community, doesn't it?
01:19:58For sure.
01:19:59Yeah.
01:20:00It's good.
01:20:00Okay.
01:20:01There she is.
01:20:02Why don't you start with some toilets, Barack?
01:20:06I deserve that.
01:20:07Make that happen.
01:20:10Oh, and one last thing.
01:20:13Wow.
01:20:14They all came back alive and fully conscious.
01:20:16Impressive.
01:20:18If you think that's impressive.
01:20:23Belle, stop laughing on the staff and install the new air conditioner.
01:20:27I gotta go to class in like 30 minutes.
01:20:29Let's have Juice do it.
01:20:30No!
01:20:32Damn.
01:20:33You're a strong college man.
01:20:37Yo!
01:20:38Yo!
01:20:39Just tap out if you want a real man to step in.
01:20:43What is your business, Reggie?
01:20:46What do you think this is?
01:20:47Yo, Lush.
01:20:51Oh!
01:20:51New day.
01:20:52New day.
01:20:53New day.
01:20:54New day.
01:20:55Hands up.
01:20:56It's a new day.
01:20:56Now what's good with your life, man?
01:20:58You got a lot to look toward.
01:21:00Get it right, man.
01:21:01And baby girl, why you sitting around looking sad?
01:21:03You missing out on all the things that you never had.
01:21:06And you can get it if you change how you look at things.
01:21:08Cause the world is yours.
01:21:10You gotta take it.
01:21:11Uh.
01:21:11Man, Batch.
01:21:13We done win a Kid's Choice Award.
01:21:15This is some bullshit.
01:21:16Oh!
01:21:18Y'all just gonna let him keep me in my ass.
01:21:21Ah!
01:21:22Ah!
01:21:23Fucking time capsule!
01:21:25Is that too much?
01:21:26Did I overdo it?
01:21:27My boy!
01:21:30Don't fucking fall asleep on me and I'm sitting here trying to be a Mr. Rogers or a Dr. Phil.
01:21:36And I don't know what you keep looking up at that big St. Bernard for.
01:21:39He don't want no but a donut.
01:21:40I can smack him upside the head and throw a donut in the ground.
01:21:43He gonna have to make a decision.
01:21:44What you think he gonna go for?
01:21:45He gonna go for the donut.
01:21:46The motherfucking donut.
01:21:47I think I have it.
01:21:48Okay, she's got it.
01:21:51No, I don't.
01:21:54Go!
01:21:54Go!
01:21:55Go!
01:21:57Everybody!
01:21:58Get up!
01:21:59Get up!
01:22:01Get up!
01:22:01And get down!
01:22:03Everybody!
01:22:03Get up!
01:22:06Go!
01:22:09Go!
01:22:09Go!
01:22:10Get up!
01:22:11Go!
01:22:13Go!
01:22:14Get up!
01:22:15Get up!
01:22:17You gotta get up and get down.
01:22:19Where I come from we don't play around.
01:22:22We mobbing out in that crowd.
01:22:23Get wild.
01:22:25Get rowdy.
01:22:25Get loud.
01:22:26Get crazy.
01:22:27Get hype.
01:22:27Get loose.
01:22:28Blow the top off of that roof.
01:22:31And we came off of that stoop.
01:22:33Walking through the city like the military troop.
01:22:35Always with my crew.
01:22:36Never catch me alone.
01:22:38Grab the microphone and I get into my zone.
01:22:40Every time you spit better watch your tone.
01:22:42Cause we'll send a wack rapper back to his home.
01:22:44Go!
01:22:45Go!
01:22:46Go!
01:22:47Go!
01:22:49Let's go!
01:22:50Go!
01:22:51Go!
01:22:52Everybody!
01:22:54Get up!
01:22:55Get up!
01:22:57And get down Everybody!
01:22:59Get up!
01:23:00Get up?
01:23:02It can't!
01:23:03Go!
01:23:04Get up!
01:23:05Go get up, go go go
01:23:08Get up, go go go
01:23:10Get up, get up, get up...
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