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The.Miniature.Wife.S01E09.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [Full Storyline]Full EP - Full
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05:00Hãy subscribe cho Nancy
05:02Nance, mother of the groom
05:05From a normal, stable
05:07Functional family
05:08And not my house of lies
05:11Madness, sadness family
05:13Okay, Kevin
05:15Champagne or cocktails before dinner
05:16Cocktails, thank you, Alice
05:18What?
05:19Champagne, no
05:21Champagne, thank you, Alice
05:24Diane and cocktails
05:25No food, no absorption, we talked about this
05:28Whoa, whoa, let's take a breath
05:30We're losing sight, we're losing sight
05:32Thank you for using we
05:34Yeah, we hate
05:37We hate this
05:38Right, oh my God
05:40We do not want this and that's why
05:42It's fun, okay
05:44Everything that goes bad is good
05:46Because it makes for a better story
05:48Our not wedding wedding
05:49For our not marriage marriage
05:51It's all nots, okay
05:54Rebels at the altar
05:55It's just us
05:57It's you and me
05:58You and me
05:59You and me
06:00Okay
06:00Okay
06:02Yeah, okay
06:03But like, what if I lose control?
06:07Yeah, what if you lose control?
06:07Because I'm really on the edge
06:09I think, I think that perhaps we need a safe word
06:11That'd be good
06:12Yeah
06:12Okay
06:13Like, um
06:16I know, like, like, um
06:19Halloween 1999
06:21Okay
06:21In the sea of Bill Clinton's
06:23And Monica Lewinsky's
06:24And Linda Tripp's
06:25There were only two
06:27Janet Reno's
06:28Yeah
06:28Oh, Janet Reno
06:30Safe word
06:31I love it
06:32I love you
06:32I fucking love you
06:34Okay
06:35Okay
06:36Okay, but that flower
06:38Is not in the center
06:39Hey, hey, hey
06:40Come on
06:40Okay, I'm gonna
06:40I'm gonna let it go
06:41Come on
06:42Countdown guests arrival
06:43T-minus 25 minutes
06:4525
06:46I did, I did
06:47Yeah, yeah, yeah
06:48Hey, hey
06:48Martin
06:49Hey, how are you
06:50Congratulations
06:53Oh, sweet redeemer
06:58Am I the first?
06:59Always
06:59You're punctual
07:00I'm, where's, uh
07:01Is it Dana?
07:03Dana and I are exploring our options
07:06In a good way
07:07Cool
07:07Okay
07:08I need you in the kitchen
07:09Uh, I'm greeting guests
07:11I'm supposed to be here
07:14What?
07:19Okay
07:21It's nothing
07:22Okay
07:22Nothing
07:23Is everything okay?
07:24Yes
07:24Good
07:24Um, so
07:26Well
07:26Dana felt that she needed
07:28No, no, no
07:28Oh, oh, oh
07:29You know what?
07:30Let's not talk tomato
07:31Oh, they passed
07:32They fucking passed
07:34What?
07:35Feezy assholes
07:36They've got no vision
07:37They've got no fucking
07:39Balls
07:39Hey, hey
07:40Well, get there, okay?
07:41I know a guy at Monsanto
07:42Kill me if we end up at Monsanto
07:45Hey
07:47So how was your nothing?
07:49It's fine
07:49Yes, it'll be fine
07:50Good
07:51How's everything?
07:52Everything fine?
07:53Fine, fine, fine
07:53Good
07:54Oh, they passed
07:55No, no, no
07:56It's Dana
07:56We're hoping she'll come through, right?
07:59Uh
07:59Yeah
08:00Uh, hey
08:00You know
08:01I'll be at the bar
08:02Okay
08:05Diane!
08:06Walt!
08:07Walt needs to use the restroom
08:09The signage here lacking
08:11Uh, down the hall
08:13First left, on the left
08:14Left?
08:15Right
08:15No, left
08:17Okay
08:17Right
08:20Good luck
08:21Thank you
08:22Okay
08:25Snub
08:26Noted
08:28Les, has he cancelled yet?
08:30Who?
08:30Jim
08:30Uh, no, no, no
08:32He's confirmed
08:32Who said?
08:33Lindy said
08:34No, he's not coming
08:35You need to prepare
08:36Prepare for what?
08:37Heartbreak
08:38Drama
08:38Tears
08:39Walt will walk Lindy down the aisle
08:41I think Lindy wanted her to
08:42It's handled
08:43Walt will step in for Jim
08:45Crisis averted
08:46Less drama
08:47Fewer tears
09:01Ready?
09:03And what is the secret to a happy marriage?
09:07There is no secret, Walt
09:10Nope
09:11And happy, unsustainable
09:14Enough said
09:15But I will say
09:17I know it's fashionable these days
09:19For everyone to express
09:20Every single feeling
09:22At every single moment
09:24But as far as I'm concerned
09:26It doesn't do anyone
09:26The slightest bit of good
09:29And marriage
09:31Walt
09:33Be nice
09:36And if you can't be nice
09:39Be silent
09:41Walt
09:52Why the fuck are you two doing this?
09:55Terry
09:55Why are we doing marriage?
09:58Hey, hey
09:59Hi
10:00Hi, hi
10:01Be nice
10:01Good morning
10:02Okay
10:03I do have the greatest wedding present ever
10:06Open it now
10:08No, we're doing gifts
10:09Now
10:09After the
10:09Okay, is this what I think it is?
10:13You have a ton of work to do
10:14Oh
10:15No, we don't
10:16Stop, it can't wait
10:17Hey
10:19It has to wait
10:20I mean, I
10:20I have to be here
10:22Well, you want to be here
10:23Yes, I want to be here
10:25You have to be here
10:26All right, Stepford
10:27I want to be here
10:28It's my wedding
10:29We agreed that we wouldn't do any work on the wedding
10:31Right
10:31Does your book go to print Monday, Tomato Head?
10:34What?
10:34You told her about the tomato?
10:36Was it a secret?
10:37Yeah
10:37Oh
10:38I don't have any secrets
10:39Get used to it, Leslie
10:40You can get out
10:41You have no right to call me Leslie
10:42Is it not your name?
10:44You have no emotional right
10:44Okay
10:45Hey, hey, hey
10:45Hey, look who's here
10:46Your mom and dad
10:48Oh
10:51Wendy
10:51Mom and dad are here
10:52I'm right behind you
10:53Okay, I'm right behind you
10:56Mom and dad, how sweet
10:58Yeah, I am going all fucking in
11:00On this new normal family
11:01There is no normal
11:02Do you want your book in Barnes & Noble?
11:04Yeah, of course I do
11:05Take a drink
11:06We're getting blurbs from France
11:07We're getting blurbs from Donna Tart
11:08She doesn't blurb
11:10Here you are worrying about the fucking canapes
11:12Oh, my God
11:14What happened to our pact?
11:17Terry
11:17We marry our careers
11:18We breed success
11:19Only
11:20We date and dump
11:22No marriage
11:23No traditional gender roles
11:25No Midwesterners
11:25No cowboys
11:26New Yorkers
11:27Need only apply
11:28We were young
11:29And we were not serious
11:31We were deadly serious
11:32Yeah, but that was when I didn't think
11:34I was ever gonna
11:35Don't say
11:36Love
11:37In my life
11:38I will throw myself off the roof of this hotel
11:40Is it the wedding you're mad about?
11:43Or is it less?
11:45Fine
11:45I don't like either
11:46But my concern is less about Les
11:48And more about you
11:50Moving to the fucking suburbs
11:51And being unable to write
11:52I am not moving to the suburbs
11:54Les doesn't want that either
11:55I will never not write
11:56And I don't vacuum
11:57So I will be me
11:59Now I know I'm fucked
12:01It's a wedding
12:02It's not a death sentence
12:03I want them the same
12:08How was the journey down?
12:10How was the drive down?
12:12Oh, long
12:12Oh, my leg ramped up
12:15Oh, no
12:15Mom, it is
12:16Oh
12:16Did I get you anything?
12:18Like ice or aspirin?
12:19Oh, no
12:19I'm not crying about it
12:21The little gods are here!
12:23Hey, where can we get a real drink of this stuff?
12:26Yeah!
12:29Lindy looking hot
12:30Oh, okay, Sam
12:31Well, your wife's right there
12:32Okay
12:34Congrats, bro
12:35Thanks, buddy
12:38Watch the family tools there
12:42Mommy's not going to come to your defense anymore, Leslie
12:45That's Lindy's job now
12:47Yeah, well, I'm gonna
12:50Okay, guys
12:50We're gonna do that
12:51Come on, come on
12:51Yeah, do the things
12:53Great to see you
12:57Do you need ice or anything?
12:59Are you gonna throw up?
13:06Yay!
13:07Here we go!
13:09Thank you
13:12Welcome, everyone
13:13Welcome
13:14We can't tell you how honored we are to have you all here
13:17Yeah, as many of you know that Les and I never planned to do any of this
13:23Nope
13:24Nope
13:24Not at all
13:25Nope
13:25No way
13:26But I did know
13:28I did know
13:28I will tell you this
13:29That I did know that when the first moment that I met her
13:34Something inside me changed
13:36And I knew that I wanted her in my life forever
13:41And ever
13:41Forever
13:42Yes
13:43Thank you
13:45Um, well, alcohol and a sexy Halloween costume will do that to you
13:49That's what got me
13:51Um, I, I will say that our first date got off to a bit of a rocky start, though
13:56Because I had asked her to, um, the classiest restaurant that my, my grad student's stipend would allow
14:02The Olive Garden
14:03Oh, thank you
14:04I was so scared anticipating Lindy's arrival
14:09Until I was sitting there waiting, waiting, waiting, and waiting
14:12Until it became obvious to me and to the entire restaurant that she wasn't coming
14:17And she had stood me up at the Olive Garden
14:20Uh, and finally the waiter came over and asked if there was anything else I needed
14:25Um, my dignity, my, my pride, maybe
14:29Um, and I was about to ask for the check when a voice rang out
14:33Your finest house read unlimited breadsticks and an apology for the sad sexy sack
14:40At table nine
14:41I'm glad I waited
14:42I'm sorry
14:43Those breadsticks were really good
14:48To you
14:49And to me
14:50And to
14:51Forever
14:55To
14:56All of those things
14:58And to you
14:59To you for, for making the trip
15:01We really, we love you all so much
15:03Thank you
15:03Let's eat
15:04Yes
15:08Lovely speech
15:09Thank you both
15:10Thank you
15:11Ah, ah
15:12Cute, right?
15:15Uh, attention
15:23We're having a small issue in the kitchen
15:26A tiny delay with dinner
15:28So we're bringing cocktails for everyone to enjoy in the interim
15:31Great
15:32No, I'll have to
15:33No, no, no, no
15:34We hate this
15:36More cocktails?
15:37You know how many cocktails you have yet?
15:39We hate this
15:39This is a recipe for disaster
15:41We hate this
15:42Gasoline
15:43Match is lit
15:44A match is lit
15:46Thank you
15:48Guess what it is, isn't it?
15:50Ha, ha, ha
15:55Ha
15:57Keeping romance alive
16:00Less
16:01Is a hopeless romantic at heart
16:04Do you remember those sweet poems he used to
16:07He used to write when he was little, dear?
16:09Mm-hmm
16:09He would, he would
16:10Put them on our pillow every night
16:12Before he went to sleep
16:13Mm-hmm
16:14Howdy grew out of that one
16:16I remember, um, twinkle, twinkle, little me
16:20How I wonder
16:21Yeah, okay
16:22What I'll be
16:22They get it
16:23They get it
16:23Ha
16:24Ha
16:31Right, a groom
16:33Lindy, best friend
16:34Oh, yeah
16:35Less is my best friend
16:37How come our paths have never crossed?
16:40I don't like him
16:40I mean, do you?
16:43I never thought about it
16:44Huh
16:45You didn't say yes
16:46Oh, well, you caught me off guard
16:48Well, isn't
16:49Doesn't best friend imply yes?
16:51Not always
16:53I get the impression you don't want to be here?
16:56Well, Lindy wants me here, so I'm here
17:00You here with a plus one?
17:03Why, no
17:05Where's your date?
17:07It's complicated
17:08Ugh, complicated leads to all of this
17:12You're very direct
17:13You like it
17:14I don't know if I do
17:16You will
17:17I don't know if I will
17:21Just wait
17:25So you ready for the show?
17:27Oh, yes
17:27Gary, when do you think the show will start?
17:29What show?
17:30Wait, is this your first McMichael event?
17:32Have you never been to a McMichael event?
17:34Yeah, I
17:34No
17:35Why?
17:35Things are gonna get nuts
17:36Oh, we guarantee it
17:38Nuts
17:39I predict blood?
17:40Yes
17:41Blood
17:43What kind of blood?
17:45What?
17:46Look at me
17:48Tell me
17:50Is this what you really want?
17:55Terry
17:56Ha
17:56You didn't say yes
17:58Are you working at your wedding?
18:01My book goes to print Monday
18:02Hi, welcome
18:04How many is that?
18:08I told Les
18:10Walt will walk you down the aisle
18:12Dad will
18:14Optimism is naive
18:15And not you
18:16You have been perfectly cast as negativity
18:19Hi, Cost
18:20Hi, Diane
18:20You're not helping
18:21Hi, Terry
18:22Need I remind you how many times your father was a no-show?
18:26Pick an event
18:27Mom, your grievances are not my grievances
18:29I was the one left to pick up the pieces
18:32You mean kick the pieces and say I told you so
18:38If you don't want to follow in your father's footsteps
18:41You should be over there with your husband-to-be
18:43That is your duty as wife-to-be
18:46Don't mess this up, too
18:54Mother of Ice
18:56What an accent
18:58Duty?
18:59Well, you are a wife-to-be
19:01Oh, is that the book?
19:04Yeah
19:04Am I in it?
19:05Okay, no one's in it
19:06It's fiction
19:07I cannot believe that you are getting married
19:11When you always said you never wanted to
19:14And I always wanted to
19:15But I could never find the one
19:18Not that there is, like, a one
19:19But I found him
19:21Oh
19:21Tim, this is my...
19:24Has anyone seen Tim?
19:26Um, Aaron
19:28Is that him?
19:30Oh, God
19:31Uh, yeah
19:32Isn't he great?
19:35I'll be right back
19:36I dare you
19:37Bye
19:39I don't know what love is
19:41I don't know
19:42None of us do
19:43But they know
19:44They know
19:45Last time I spoke to this many people
19:47Was for the launch of the Ford Taurus
19:49That some of you probably know I designed
19:51Sorry, I'm going to bring this down to human height
19:54I've known you a long time
19:56Long time
19:57Remember?
19:58Yeah
19:59I do
20:00Oh, this, um, is Les's favorite song when he was little
20:03You'll remember it, Les
20:05I utilized to play the lady
20:06Odlo, banjo, odlo
20:07And redless
20:08It odlo on my
20:09Needle, leadle, leadle
20:09But honestly, when I first saw you two together
20:12I was like, mm-mm
20:13No way
20:13Never going to happen
20:14It's never going to happen
20:16We're so happy for you
20:17I'm so happy for you
20:20To my much older sister
20:22Who found the one
20:24So easily
20:25Because, of course
20:27Lindy, Lindy, Lindy, Lindy
20:29You are
20:30You are hot
20:32I'm not allowed the streetlings
20:33Our meddle and disorder
20:34This is so long
20:35I seedling for you
20:36Anyway, I'm hopeful
20:39You know
20:40I have my Tim
20:43We should ask them what love is
20:45Right?
20:47Ah
20:49Junk
20:50Has anyone seen Tim?
20:52This is so long
20:53I seedling for you
20:55Love
20:59Love
21:01It's a beautiful thing
21:08Where the fuck is the food?
21:10Minutes away, ma'am
21:10I mean, miss
21:11Alice, you said that five minutes ago
21:14I know, I know
21:15It's
21:18Daddy
21:18You know, Lindy was born on my birthday
21:21Stealing my thunder from day one
21:24From the moment my baby girl breathed air
21:27She screamed
21:28And not just been born screamed
21:30No
21:30This one
21:32This one had something to say
21:34And I thought, holy shit
21:36Now I got two women screaming at me
21:38Hi, Diane
21:43Then I held her in my arms
21:45And she suddenly stopped screaming
21:47Silence
21:48The nurse said she'd never seen anything like it
21:51She said, you two belong together
21:55Like peas and carrots
21:56I was in Milwaukee the day she was born
21:59And to see her now
22:01Young, in love
22:03Getting married
22:06Bright futures ahead of you
22:08It makes a man feel a little bit giddy
22:11Just sharing the air with you
22:13As long as there's no screaming
22:16As long as there's no screaming
22:17You know, when you've got kids
22:20You see a little bit of you in them
22:24And when they find someone
22:27Who loves them
22:28It's like that little piece of you
22:32Is getting that love too
22:36Makes this old man feel
22:41Very proud
22:44Congratulations to you both
22:45I couldn't be happier
22:47Hey, you're the peas and carrots now
22:57Speech of the night
22:58Speech of the night
22:59Reasted in regalos for the so-called baseball career
23:06That one, baby
23:11I'm so happy you're here
23:13Gotta have something on your team, kiddo
23:15Daddy
23:17This is less
23:18Mr. McMichael, an honor, sir
23:21Jim, never served
23:24And the honor is mine
23:25But there's an obligation I have as a father
23:28And that is that if you break her heart
23:30I will break your son
23:34I'm kidding
23:36Clear, direct, threatening
23:38With warmth and jest
23:40I can see where Lindy gets her
23:44Hey, hey
23:46Diane
23:46Jim
23:48Walt
23:49Jim
23:49Les
23:50Oh, Kevin
23:52Mom
23:54Lindy
23:58So how about that book of hers?
24:02You read it?
24:03It's incredible
24:04You're a big talent, Lindy
24:06Dad
24:06Chip off the old block
24:07And boy, did you get the Diane character
24:10Down to a T
24:11Dad
24:11Yeah, it kept me looking over my shoulder, kiddo
24:13I'm in it
24:15No, nobody's in it
24:16It's fiction
24:16I'm a character in your book
24:18And you managed to send him an advanced copy to address unknown
24:21But not me
24:22Mom
24:24Well
24:26Diane
24:27Mom
24:29Kevin
24:35Leslie, show Dad what you were showing him
24:37Oh, no, no
24:37It's early days
24:38Show him
24:39It's extraordinary, Frank
24:40Yeah, show me
24:42Come on
24:42Okay, if you're sure
24:43Food's not here yet
24:45See, it's the perfect time
24:46Go on, Dan
24:47Okay
24:47Well, um, Dad
24:49I am on the brink of inventing the GMO tomato
24:56Wow
24:57So the genetically modified tomato really has the potential to change agriculture as we know it
25:03And Monsanto is interested, I try
25:05Hasn't the tomato already been invented?
25:07Yeah, but this is a new kind of, this is a different kind of tomato
25:09You love tomatoes, Frank
25:11I do love tomatoes in the sandwich
25:16Does it look like a tomato?
25:18Yeah, but it's genetically modified
25:20And it tastes like a tomato
25:21Yes, but
25:22Yeah
25:24It's a tomato
25:25It is
25:25It is
25:26Nice
25:29You see, he's impressed
25:31Yeah
25:44Bullshit to marriage
25:44Bullshit to happy
25:45Do you want to know what genre I file romance under?
25:48Fantasy
25:48And as for Lindy and the Nutty Professor
25:50Science fiction
25:51I'm just waiting for the day my phone rings and she's accidentally got two heads
25:57Attention distinguished guests
25:59The food is on its way
26:01Please return to your seats in a timely manner and we'll
26:05Chapter 9
26:07Mother of Ice
26:09Oh, fuck
26:10My mother was not kind or warm
26:14Walt, go stop her
26:16Do something
26:16I'm no hero
26:18Okay, alright, everybody take your seat
26:20Sit down
26:21Don't worry
26:21Everybody
26:22Mom
26:22Her feelings frozen into harsh, jagged edges
26:25Ready to impale anyone who got to
26:28Stop it
26:29Stop ruining mom
26:30What the fuck are you doing?
26:31You're ruining my wedding
26:32Diane, would you like some coffee?
26:34Where's Kevin?
26:34As soon as
26:35You know what?
26:35Let's just
26:35Kevin?
26:36I'm
26:36I'm
26:37Kevin
26:37As soon as
26:37I have
26:38Kevin
26:38The temperature dropped
26:40The air's hot
26:41The air's hot
26:41He's never freaking there
26:42Kevin
26:43We need coffee
26:45Can I unplug this?
26:47I'm just gonna plug my god
26:48Great idea
26:48Scorned my mother's love
26:50Unplug it
26:51Mom
26:51What are you doing?
26:52Hell hath no fury
26:54Like a repressed middle-aged mother
26:56Scorned my mother's love
26:58Conditional
26:59It had to be earned
27:00It had to be controlled
27:01Kevin!
27:02I don't know where it is
27:04I'm burning
27:05He's mine
27:06He's mine
27:07He's not burning
27:08My mother was not one to forget or forgive
27:11Mother!
27:12Stop!
27:13We're getting out of here
27:14Whoa
27:15Stop!
27:16Jesus
27:17Fuck
27:18The hand
27:18Fuck the knife
27:19Put the knife down
27:21Put the knife down
27:24Put the knife down
27:25Put the knife down
27:26I can bleed out
27:28I gotta pull it right
27:29No
27:30Don't pull it out
27:31I don't think you can
27:32I fight with me
27:33I really don't think
27:34You can't
27:35I
27:39Everybody's getting stabbed
27:41Oh let's get you out of here dear
27:43Oh
27:49Walter could you restrain your fucking wife
27:52Walter don't tell me what to do
27:54Come on go up there
27:54I'm coming in
27:55I'm coming in
27:57I'm coming in
27:58I'm coming in
27:58I'm coming in
27:58I'm coming in
27:58I'm coming in
27:59I'm coming in
28:05Holy gracious savior you called it
28:07Double stabbing
28:09Should have put money on it
28:10Marriage blood support
28:12Will everybody please sit down
28:15And enjoy the fucking tuna tartar
28:26What happened exactly
28:28Rehearsal dinner
28:32Got it
28:34By the way I liked your speech
28:36A lot
28:39By the way
28:41I liked
28:42Your face
28:43A lot
28:46Myram let's go
28:47Now
28:50Blessed shepherd
28:51I should probably introduce myself
28:58What's the secret to a happy marriage
29:00Being in sync
29:02Being in sync
29:06What a shit show
29:10Oh my god my family
29:14Always with the drama
29:16I mean I only wanted to get married
29:18To join your normal family
29:19So I could escape from the madness of my own
29:23Only
29:27Only
29:27Only
29:31Less
29:33You only wanted to get married
29:35To join my normal family
29:38Do you have any idea
29:40How small that makes me feel
29:44Oh hey
29:47Nothing's changed
29:50And I love you
29:51Not enough to not
29:54Work
29:54At our rehearsal dinner
29:56Right
29:57Maybe I could
29:58Maybe I could still feel my thigh
30:01What happened to
30:03Everything that goes bad is good
30:04Makes for a better story
30:06I mean
30:06We're not even
30:07Doing this for real
30:09Are we
30:10I don't know
30:10Are we
30:13What's happening
30:15Is this maybe the drugs talking
30:17Uh
30:18Maybe
30:19Maybe
30:20Maybe not
30:21Hang on
30:22Where are you going
30:23Going to my room
30:24Come bless
30:25Let's just fuck that
30:27Traditional wedding superstition stuff
30:29Well you wanna
30:29You wanna fuck the wedding
30:33That is not what I just said
30:34But that's what you meant
30:35No
30:36Wait
30:38What's this
30:39I
30:40Come
30:40I
30:41I
30:41Let
30:42That's your vow
30:43Let's do this thing
30:44Come on
30:45I'm
30:46That
30:46That's
30:47I
30:47I'm
30:48Tomorrow
30:48I'm gonna
30:48I got it
30:49I got it
30:50I got it
30:50It really is a fucking wedding
30:51I understand
30:53Hang on
30:53Where
30:54Wait
30:58Am I gonna see you tomorrow?
30:59Am I gonna see you tomorrow?
31:17Hey
31:18Hey
31:19Hey
31:19Cold feet?
31:22Maybe
31:23Drink?
31:26Yeah
31:26You alright
31:33I'm sorry about your arm
31:35Ah
31:36She'd been waiting 20 years to stab me with something
31:39It's okay
31:43I think this wedding was a mistake
31:47The wedding or the marriage?
31:51Gotta say I never thought I'd see my little firecracker settle down
31:57But you like less, right?
32:00You chose dependable over exciting
32:02Is that bad?
32:04We don't do dependable
32:05Me and you
32:12I wanted normal
32:15Never had normal
32:18Well
32:21Not normal
32:22Fueled your talent
32:24Hell, you wrote a fantastic book because of it
32:28Normal can kill a creative spark
32:33That's why I can't write my vows, maybe
32:36Could be
32:37I should know
32:41Before I met Diane, I was a lock for the majors
32:44But you know the story
32:45Yep
32:46Yeah, you got married and then the armoire
32:49The armoire, whatever the dresser thing she wanted upstairs
32:51Had to have it upstairs
32:53And then tore a ligament
32:55And now is that
32:56It's my baseball career
32:58I don't really think you would have been a baseball star if you hadn't married Mom
33:06After we divorced
33:07I started playing down in the Mexican Pacific League
33:10Everyone thought I was washed up
33:12Coach was forced to sign me
33:14So he benched me game after game
33:16And
33:18One day their star player
33:21Got injured
33:22And coach had no choice but to
33:23Send me into the bat
33:25First pitch
33:26Swing and a miss
33:27Second pitch
33:28Another whiff
33:29If I blow it
33:30I'm done
33:31The next pitch
33:32I hit that goddamn ball so hard
33:34It smashes out the stadium lights
33:36Sparks flying onto the field
33:38Crowd goes wild
33:39And I knew
33:41I mean I remembered
33:42In that moment
33:45For great talent to thrive
33:47You gotta put you first
33:50You hear me kiddo?
33:54Yeah
33:55Yeah
33:56Yeah
33:57I'll have the car running tomorrow morning
33:59If you wanna make a run for it
34:02We both know this isn't you
34:04Peas and carrots
34:07I'll be right back
34:08I ain't gonna see a man about a horse
34:16Um
34:18You do know
34:18That was the plot of The Natural
34:20Right?
34:22Oh yeah Kevin
34:24I know
34:59Are you crying?
35:02No
35:02Are you smoking?
35:04No
35:07Is it because I stabbed you?
35:10No
35:11Is it because you stabbed me?
35:14Yes
35:18What did she say?
35:19Or what did she do?
35:23She was so
35:25Excited
35:28Fear
35:31Cloaked
35:32In excitement
35:34And now
35:35She wants to run
35:37Well she didn't say that
35:39She didn't have to
35:41Lindy is like Jim
35:42But she's more like me
35:44And she realizes
35:45The more she loves someone
35:46The more she fears
35:48They will run
35:51We have the endlessly charming
35:52Jim
35:53To thank for that
35:55Say what you will about me
35:56But
35:57I stuck around
35:59I know I am not easy
36:00Or charming
36:03And contrary to popular belief
36:05I am not a monster
36:08After Jim left
36:13My heart broke
36:15My heart broke
36:16Yes
36:17Mother of Ice
36:18Has a heart
36:19I vowed I'd never marry again
36:24Then I met Walt
36:26He's a good one
36:27I may be the only one
36:29Who sees that
36:30But everyone else
36:31Can fuck right off
36:33Now you Les
36:37You are one of the good ones too
36:43And Lindy knows it
36:45And that's why she's trying so hard
36:48Not to run
36:56This conversation never happened
36:59Diane
37:00Thank you
37:02Not bad
37:03For an emotional icicle
37:30Fuck
37:53Oh daddy
37:55Janet Reno
38:17Let's do this thing
38:20Let's go
38:28You took my fucking bullhorn
38:31Kevin
38:39What happened up here
38:43This is not us
38:44It's not us
38:49But is it you?
38:50To be honest
39:00Yeah
39:01I wanted to get married
39:03To you
39:07And I wanted a wedding
39:12I did
39:14But you
39:15Didn't
39:16No
39:20So why didn't you say yes
39:22Because I didn't want to lose you
39:24Or my family
39:26But you see why now right
39:32I just wanted
39:34Was longing
39:35For some
39:37Sense of
39:38Normal
39:39Yeah
39:40Yeah I said
39:41Yeah I said
39:41I'd do
39:43What I had always said I wouldn't do
39:47Because I didn't want you to go
39:49Go?
39:51I am an overly educated
39:54Science nerd nobody
39:56With
39:57With one
39:59Dumb idea
40:00No one gives a shit about
40:02You are brilliant
40:04And you're gonna change the world
40:07I truly believe you will
40:09And I can't wrap my head around
40:12Why you wanna
40:14Stay with a dumb dumb like me
40:18When you tell me I can change the world
40:20Then I believe
40:23And there is nothing I want more
40:25Than to be with a dumb dumb like you
40:27For everyone
40:29Fuck the paperwork
40:31But you want the paperwork
40:32But you don't
40:33You don't
40:34So fuck it
40:38But you saying fuck it
40:39Really makes me fucking happy
40:41I fucking love you
40:46I fucking love you
40:53Now I just want to unfuck it
40:55And just get married
40:59What fuck it for real
41:00But for us
41:02Like our
41:03Our thing
41:05Our
41:05Our
41:06Normal
41:06Our version
41:07And
41:08No drama
41:10Yes no violence
41:11No police
41:12No family
41:13No
41:18And I know a perfect place
41:23The Grey House
41:24The Grey House
41:40The Secret
41:42Not having a wedding
41:46Having two
41:48Diane
41:49Don't make me come over there
41:55I
41:56Less little John
41:57Do not
41:58Take you
41:59Lindy McMichael
42:00To be my wedded wife
42:02I
42:03Lindy McMichael
42:04Do not
42:05Take you
42:06Less little John
42:07To be my wedded husband
42:08Not
42:09Never
42:10Ever
42:11You are signing the papers
42:12Yes
42:13Yes
42:13Yeah
42:14Okay
42:15Well
42:16I now pronounce you
42:17Not husband and wife
42:19So
42:20Can I
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