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Mars (2024) [Full Movie] [Full Series]Full EP - Full
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00:00:34¡Just got hit by a shipload of asteroid, sir!
00:00:36¡Alceania cronchers are out!
00:00:38¡Turn the force field up to 1000%, this is gonna be close!
00:00:42¡It's a ship, my space pants!
00:00:44Put the wheels down, we're about to land our force!
00:00:57¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:01:21¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:01:53¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:02:38¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:02:49¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:02:53¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:03:08¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:03:48¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:03:51¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:04:04¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:04:05¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:04:15¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:04:33¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:05:00¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:05:03¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:05:06¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:05:18¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:05:51¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:06:02¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:06:05¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:06:31¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:06:33¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:06:38¡Suscríbete al canal!
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00:06:59¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:07:04Hey, Cooter, cool out.
00:07:06He is cut off.
00:07:07He's fine.
00:07:08...de las tres meses,
00:07:08ordinary people across the country
00:07:10have been sending video submissions
00:07:12hoping to be one of the lucky citizens
00:07:14chosen at random
00:07:15to be among the first people
00:07:17to set foot on Mars.
00:07:18And we have our first winner,
00:07:20Wimmy Tilliams,
00:07:21a 34-year-old father of five
00:07:24who teaches Sunday school
00:07:25in Watertown, South Dakota.
00:07:27Wimmy, you just got the big news.
00:07:29How are you feeling today?
00:07:30I'm so excited to be going on
00:07:31an honest-to-God adventure
00:07:32to take a journey
00:07:33where absolutely anything could happen.
00:07:35Now, Wimmy,
00:07:36we ran some quick calculations.
00:07:37And not only will you be
00:07:38one of the first people
00:07:40to ever set foot on Mars,
00:07:41you will also be
00:07:42the fattest astronaut ever in space.
00:07:46Oh.
00:07:47Is that so?
00:07:48By quite a lot.
00:07:49Okay.
00:07:50Well, I guess it won't really matter
00:07:52since in space,
00:07:53everyone is weightless.
00:07:55True, true.
00:07:56But you'll still look fat.
00:07:59I'm sorry.
00:07:59Is there a question here?
00:08:01Bartender,
00:08:02there's a guy in the bathroom
00:08:03and he is way out of line.
00:08:11Hey, I had to go to sleep.
00:08:13I'm so sorry you had a hard day, though.
00:08:16Just make yourself a nice drink and relax.
00:08:18We can talk about things in the morning.
00:08:21Love, Candace.
00:08:25I tricked you with a note.
00:08:27We're not going to talk about things in the morning.
00:08:29We're going to talk about them now.
00:08:31Oh, no!
00:08:32Why did you say, oh, no?
00:08:35No, no, no.
00:08:36Don't cry.
00:08:37Don't cry.
00:08:37I didn't mean, oh, no.
00:08:39I just, I was surprised.
00:08:41I'm sorry.
00:08:42With the wedding coming up,
00:08:43I'm just under a lot of pressure.
00:08:45It's okay.
00:08:46It's okay.
00:08:47Do you still love me?
00:08:49Yeah, of course I still love you.
00:08:51Do you love me more than anyone in the world?
00:08:54Yes, you know I do.
00:08:56If someone had a gun aimed at me
00:08:58and your mom and dad
00:09:00and you had to pick one person to save,
00:09:03would you pick me?
00:09:04Of course I would, yeah.
00:09:06If we had a baby
00:09:08and the gunman was either going to shoot me
00:09:10or the baby,
00:09:11who would you save?
00:09:12Candace, I don't like doing these hypothetical.
00:09:14Who would you save?
00:09:15Well, I would try and save both of you.
00:09:20No, if you had to pick one!
00:09:22I guess I would save the baby
00:09:26since it hadn't really been able
00:09:28to live any of its life yet.
00:09:32Oh, my God!
00:09:34No, I meant you.
00:09:35I would save you.
00:09:36I would jump in front of the bullet
00:09:38so that both you and the baby could live.
00:09:41I didn't know that was an option.
00:09:43Okay, next time,
00:09:45I jump in front of her and the baby.
00:09:48Okay.
00:09:52Oh, fuck me.
00:09:57Fucking stupid old VCR.
00:09:59Goddamn RCA cords.
00:10:01Knots.
00:10:02Look at this piece of shit
00:10:03Pauly Shore movie.
00:10:05Fucking idiot.
00:10:06Two more passengers have been selected
00:10:08for billionaire L. Ron Branson's
00:10:10Maiden Mars Expedition.
00:10:12The first name is Todd Sullivan.
00:10:14Todd is a middle school math teacher
00:10:16from Fredericksburg, Virginia.
00:10:18Yeah, I signed up for this Mars thing
00:10:20because my job is working with little kids,
00:10:22and I don't know if you've ever worked with little kids,
00:10:24but they fucking suck.
00:10:25Mr. Todd, I fell down on the slide.
00:10:28Get the fuck out of here, Jeremy.
00:10:30I'm playing my game.
00:10:33Anyway, as you can see,
00:10:35with all this shit,
00:10:36I was just like,
00:10:37fuck earth.
00:10:38Whoopsie.
00:10:39None of that was bleeped.
00:10:40Sorry about that.
00:10:41The second contestant announced today
00:10:43is Peggy Bork,
00:10:44and what a story she has.
00:10:47Four years ago in a sleepy town in Missouri,
00:10:49neighbors responded to a terrible smell
00:10:51and found the decomposing bodies
00:10:53of Harold and Margaret Bork.
00:10:55Locked in their secret basement
00:10:56was their 24-year-old daughter, Peggy.
00:10:58Peggy had been shut off from the world since birth.
00:11:01For the last four years,
00:11:03Peggy has had to acclimate to the real world.
00:11:06Car!
00:11:07No, Peggy.
00:11:08But now Peggy's world is about to get even bigger.
00:11:11I spent so much of my life trapped in the same place
00:11:14that sometimes I didn't even feel alive.
00:11:18You and me both, Peggy.
00:11:19Ever since I've been free,
00:11:21I'm determined to see everything this planet has to offer.
00:11:25That's why I'm going to Mars.
00:11:29Fascinating story.
00:11:30And I believe there's only one more seat available
00:11:33for the Mars voyage.
00:11:34That's right.
00:11:34The raffle ends tomorrow at midnight,
00:11:36so get those submissions in, people.
00:11:38The spaceship blasts off July 12th.
00:11:49My name is Kyle Capshaw,
00:11:51and I need to go to Mars.
00:12:04This is it, man.
00:12:06Your last night of freedom.
00:12:07How do you feel?
00:12:09Why did you take me here?
00:12:10Candace said that we couldn't have your bachelor party
00:12:12at a strip club.
00:12:14But she didn't say we couldn't have it
00:12:16at a male strip club.
00:12:18She said strip clubs.
00:12:20What are you looking at your phone so much for anyway?
00:12:23What, what, do you see guys like this every day?
00:12:25They're about to announce the last passenger
00:12:27for that Mars thing.
00:12:28Why do you care?
00:12:30It's not like you signed up for it.
00:12:31Yeah, no, no, no, no.
00:12:33I just, uh, you know, I, I, I don't know.
00:12:35Ooh, you did.
00:12:38You're getting married in three weeks.
00:12:40How are you going to go to Mars?
00:12:41What were you thinking?
00:12:42I don't know.
00:12:43What, would you just fail on the wedding?
00:12:45No.
00:12:45Dude, Candace would fucking kill you
00:12:47if she found out you even applied to that.
00:12:49She didn't even want you to go to female strip clubs.
00:12:52But we found a loophole, huh?
00:12:54Well, this isn't really a loophole.
00:12:55I mean, we're still technically disobeying her.
00:12:58It's just less enjoyable.
00:13:00For me.
00:13:01Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, me too.
00:13:03Ooh, look, the strippers are doing that thing
00:13:05where they dip their dicks in everybody's mouth
00:13:07for like a second.
00:13:08Let me ask you,
00:13:10do you think it's rude to not participate?
00:13:12Go knock yourself out, Cooter.
00:13:15Uh, what, what, what is that?
00:13:17It's a hair scrunchie.
00:13:18Why?
00:13:19So they can see your eyes.
00:13:23Okay, this is the moment we've all been waiting for.
00:13:27Drum roll, please.
00:13:29And the final passenger
00:13:31on the first ever manned mission
00:13:33to planet Mars is...
00:13:35Please, God, please, God, please, God, come on.
00:13:39Marty Wagner.
00:13:43Marty, you just heard the good news.
00:13:45How excited are you?
00:13:46I didn't sign up.
00:13:47My friend is always playing jokes on me.
00:13:49I thought I was signing a petition
00:13:51to get the trash trucks to come on the weekends.
00:13:53Uh-oh.
00:13:54Well, he got you pretty good this time
00:13:56because you're going to Mars.
00:13:58Oh, oh, please, don't make me go.
00:14:00I, I'm horribly agoraphobic.
00:14:02I can't even leave the house.
00:14:04The idea of traveling down the street terrifies me.
00:14:06You can't make me go to Mars.
00:14:08Oh, yes, we can.
00:14:09No!
00:14:11Some people are just boring, Lucky, I guess.
00:14:13Kyle, Kyle, can we borrow $50?
00:14:15What? No, you can't borrow $50.
00:14:18Who are all these twinks?
00:14:19I met them in the dick line.
00:14:20This one knows where we can get crystal meth.
00:14:23You want in?
00:14:23No, I'm not going to lend you 50 bucks
00:14:25to go do meth with twinks.
00:14:27That's okay.
00:14:28We know ways to get $50.
00:14:30You know what?
00:14:30I think I'm just going to call it a night.
00:14:32But, but thank you for the bachelor party.
00:14:35All right, you're lost, man.
00:14:57You've got to be fucking kidding me.
00:14:59Oh, what's wrong?
00:15:00Oh, what happened?
00:15:01You're still asleep on our wedding day.
00:15:03Did the alarm not go off?
00:15:04I mean, I said it.
00:15:07Candace, it's only 7 a.m.
00:15:10I always dreamed that my future husband
00:15:13would be so excited to marry me
00:15:15that he wouldn't even be able to sleep
00:15:17the night before the wedding.
00:15:18And you slept fine!
00:15:20I'm sorry.
00:15:20I slept okay.
00:15:23I'm going to take a shower.
00:15:24When I get out, you better be dressed
00:15:26and ready to take me over to the girls.
00:15:28Okay, yeah.
00:15:29Sorry again.
00:15:32Okay, so, when it's our anniversary,
00:15:34don't sleep the night before.
00:15:36Okay.
00:15:39Incredible late-breaking announcement.
00:15:41Marty Wagner, one of the last passengers
00:15:43chosen for the maiden mission,
00:15:44committed suicide this morning.
00:15:47What?
00:15:47Now, we have some very cool footage
00:15:50of the suicide that we are about to show,
00:15:51but we must warn you that it is pretty graphic.
00:15:54I don't want to do this.
00:15:56I love my life.
00:15:57I have children.
00:15:58But I just really can't handle the idea
00:16:01of going to Mars.
00:16:02Please don't make me go.
00:16:04You have to.
00:16:05No!
00:16:11Oh, my God.
00:16:13Ah, so cool.
00:16:14I could seriously,
00:16:14I could watch stuff like that all day.
00:16:16Now, since they only have hours
00:16:18until takeoff this morning,
00:16:20the Mars Enterprises team
00:16:21held a random drawing of local submissions only.
00:16:23Holy shit.
00:16:25And once again,
00:16:26the winner chosen was one Kyle Capshaw.
00:16:29Holy shit!
00:16:30Our news bands are on their way
00:16:31to Mr. Capshaw's house
00:16:32as we speak to give them the good news.
00:16:35Holy shit!
00:16:36I'm coming out of the shower!
00:16:40Kyle Capshaw!
00:16:41Ah!
00:16:42You've been selected to go to Mars.
00:16:44How do you feel?
00:16:45You have to leave.
00:16:46No, you have to leave.
00:16:48To Mars!
00:16:48Listen to me.
00:16:49My fiancé doesn't know
00:16:50that I entered the contest.
00:16:51We are supposed to get married today.
00:16:54Please do not put this on television.
00:16:55How mad do you think she's gonna be?
00:16:57One to ten!
00:17:00Welcome to the...
00:17:01Oh, Candace!
00:17:02You son of a bitch!
00:17:03Baby, I'm sorry.
00:17:05The chair must have fallen against the door.
00:17:07It was an accident.
00:17:09It was?
00:17:10Totally.
00:17:11Yeah, totally.
00:17:12Now, baby, precious lamb,
00:17:13I need to ask you
00:17:15to do something very important.
00:17:17What?
00:17:18You know how I'm
00:17:19incredibly superstitious?
00:17:20No, you're not!
00:17:21Yes, I am.
00:17:22Yes, I am.
00:17:23And superstition dictates
00:17:24that we cannot see each other
00:17:26on the day of the wedding.
00:17:27Then how are you supposed
00:17:29to drive me to Carol's house
00:17:31to get my fucking makeup done?
00:17:36He's running away!
00:17:37Get him!
00:17:37Are you driving crazy?
00:17:39It feels like you're driving crazy.
00:17:41No, no.
00:17:41I'm driving perfectly normal.
00:17:43Slow down, asshole!
00:17:45Thanks for joining us here
00:17:46at the Mars Enterprises launch site.
00:17:48Behind me, you can see the shuttle
00:17:50being prepared for its maiden voyage,
00:17:52which will commence
00:17:53in just a few short hours.
00:17:54Five lucky individuals
00:17:56will be traveling
00:17:57to the Red Planet this evening.
00:17:59And the captain of the ship
00:18:00is none other than
00:18:01Mars Enterprises' CEO,
00:18:03Sir L. Ron Branson.
00:18:05Now, not many people know this,
00:18:07but besides being
00:18:08a billionaire philanthropist,
00:18:09L. Ron Branson
00:18:10is also a former
00:18:11Air Force test pilot
00:18:13who will be looking
00:18:13after the tourists
00:18:14and making sure they have
00:18:15a safe and fun journey.
00:18:17He's a pilot, an EMT,
00:18:19a gourmet chef,
00:18:20and was voted People Magazine
00:18:21Sexiest Man Alive
00:18:23three years in a row.
00:18:24And the final passenger
00:18:25on the Mars One's maiden voyage
00:18:27is pediatric dentist
00:18:29Kyle Capshaw.
00:18:31And they are all white.
00:18:34Every single one of them.
00:18:36White as the pure driven snow,
00:18:38zero diversity among this crew.
00:18:39Eh, that's awkward.
00:18:43Just in time.
00:18:44We're here.
00:18:45Okay, Carol's house.
00:18:46You have to be dressed
00:18:48and at the chapel
00:18:49by 12 o'clock.
00:18:50Got that?
00:18:51Got it.
00:18:51Now give me a kiss.
00:18:53Mwah.
00:19:00Come on, Cooter.
00:19:01You better fucking pick up.
00:19:05Hello, hello.
00:19:05Hey, Kyle, what's up?
00:19:06What's up?
00:19:07What's going on, man?
00:19:07What's up?
00:19:07Cooter, where the hell
00:19:09have you been
00:19:09for the last two weeks?
00:19:10Oh, just been really busy
00:19:11doing work.
00:19:11Lots of work stuff.
00:19:12Just working on a lot of work.
00:19:13Well, I got a huge problem, man.
00:19:15The wedding is today.
00:19:16I know that.
00:19:17I know that, man.
00:19:17I'm on my way there right now.
00:19:19Twinks, the wedding is today.
00:19:20Get your tuxes on.
00:19:21Cooter, listen to me.
00:19:22I need your help, okay?
00:19:23I got accepted
00:19:26into the Mars program.
00:19:28Are you thinking about going?
00:19:29I don't know.
00:19:29I haven't had a chance to think.
00:19:31I've got Candace yelling at me.
00:19:32I've got TV reporters
00:19:33following my every move.
00:19:34Are you on TV, man?
00:19:35That's awesome.
00:19:36Cooter, it's not awesome.
00:19:37I don't know what to do.
00:19:39I mean, this Mars thing,
00:19:40I'd only be gone
00:19:40for like a month and a half,
00:19:41but if I leave
00:19:42on the day of our wedding
00:19:43without telling Candace,
00:19:44I'm basically throwing
00:19:45the whole relationship away.
00:19:47Maybe I have cold feet
00:19:48about the wedding
00:19:49and this is some sort
00:19:50of reaction to that.
00:19:51I don't know
00:19:51what's going on with me.
00:19:53Dude, say no more.
00:19:54Sounds like you need
00:19:54some time to figure
00:19:55this all out.
00:19:55I'm going to drive
00:19:56down to that launch pad
00:19:57and stall that fucking
00:19:57spaceship for you, dude.
00:19:59Twinks, get the gun
00:20:00out of the trunk.
00:20:01Cooter, you can't stall
00:20:02a spaceship.
00:20:02That's insane.
00:20:03Ah, you're right.
00:20:04That's insane.
00:20:05I can't stall a spaceship.
00:20:06They're made of metal.
00:20:07All the meth in the world
00:20:08couldn't stall a spaceship.
00:20:09What?
00:20:10I'll stall the wedding instead.
00:20:11Heading to the church, Kyle.
00:20:12Cooter, no, no.
00:20:14Twinks, to the car.
00:20:34Hello, Sandy.
00:20:35What do you think
00:20:35we should do?
00:20:38Oh, don't be like that.
00:20:41I'm sorry that you have to live
00:20:42in the glove compartment.
00:20:44She thinks I've thrown you out.
00:20:46Boy, I really could use
00:20:47your cool, level head right now.
00:20:50I've gotten us into a real mess.
00:20:53You're getting this, right?
00:20:55Oh, yeah.
00:20:56We're getting a goddamn pay raise.
00:20:58I mean, what would you do?
00:21:03Oh, come on.
00:21:04We don't have time for that.
00:21:06Besides, you said last time
00:21:07was the last time.
00:21:12Okay, let me just make sure
00:21:14no one's looking.
00:21:16Oh.
00:21:17Nope, didn't see us.
00:21:20Well, the coast is clear,
00:21:22but this is the last time, okay?
00:21:24After today, I'm a married man.
00:21:31Now, tell me.
00:21:35Thank you for coming.
00:21:37Here's a VHS of
00:21:38Father of the Bride.
00:21:39Thank you for coming.
00:21:41Here's a VHS of
00:21:42Father of the Bride.
00:21:44Cooter!
00:21:45How are you?
00:21:46Cool it, Mr. S.
00:21:48Everybody listen up.
00:21:49I have an announcement
00:21:51from the groom himself.
00:21:55First of all,
00:21:56no TVs.
00:21:58That's right.
00:21:59Oh, Cooter,
00:22:00there's a scene
00:22:00I wanted to show everyone.
00:22:02Secondly, everyone hand in
00:22:03their cell phones.
00:22:05Rooms orders.
00:22:06Kyle has prepared
00:22:07a big surprise for everyone,
00:22:09but it's on live television
00:22:11right now,
00:22:12so nobody watch the news
00:22:14or check your phones
00:22:15in case someone you know
00:22:17is watching the news.
00:22:19I saw the news this morning.
00:22:20They're looking for Kyle
00:22:21because he's supposed to...
00:22:23Get the hell out of this wedding!
00:22:25Cooter, explain what's happening
00:22:27right now!
00:22:28Shut the fuck up!
00:22:32I don't know, Sandy.
00:22:33I mean, of course
00:22:34I want to go to Mars.
00:22:35I want to have adventure
00:22:36in my life.
00:22:37But I made a commitment
00:22:38to her.
00:22:41Oh, no, don't say that.
00:22:43She's a good person.
00:22:44And who knows,
00:22:45maybe getting married
00:22:46will help fix the relationship.
00:22:47I mean, the point is,
00:22:49it would completely devastate her
00:22:50if I left her at the altar.
00:22:52I mean, isn't that
00:22:53what being a real man is?
00:22:55Huh?
00:22:55Putting the feelings
00:22:56of others before yourself?
00:22:59You know what?
00:23:01I'm sorry, Sandy,
00:23:02but I think I've made a decision.
00:23:05I'm getting married.
00:23:15Where in the holy fuck are you?
00:23:18Don't worry, honey.
00:23:19I'm on my way.
00:23:20Well, on my way isn't here.
00:23:23If you don't walk
00:23:23through that door in seconds,
00:23:24I'm going to Phil Hartman
00:23:26your ass.
00:23:28Actually, you know what?
00:23:30I've just, I've just run
00:23:31into some pretty bad traffic
00:23:32on I-25.
00:23:34Fuck you, pussy!
00:23:35You get through that traffic
00:23:36and get here to marry me.
00:23:37Yeah, Anne, you're, uh,
00:23:39yeah, you're breaking up.
00:23:40It's, it's really hard
00:23:42to hear you right now.
00:23:43I'm going to fucking bars.
00:23:47We are now going live
00:23:48to the arrival
00:23:49of the final passenger.
00:23:50Mr. Capshaw,
00:23:51just in time, follow me.
00:23:53Now we're getting down
00:23:54to the wire here,
00:23:54so I'm gonna have to get you
00:23:55to sign and walk.
00:23:56This first one
00:23:57is a standard release form
00:23:58for the cameras
00:23:59and any promotional material
00:24:00we would use your likeness for.
00:24:01Okay.
00:24:03This one absolves our company
00:24:04from any liability
00:24:05in case of spontaneous incineration.
00:24:08Incineration?
00:24:08Uh, how often do these explode?
00:24:11We don't know yet.
00:24:12Maiden voyage and all.
00:24:13Right, yeah, okay,
00:24:14that makes sense.
00:24:15This next one absolves our company
00:24:17from all liability
00:24:18in the event you suffer
00:24:19a mental breakdown.
00:24:19Oh, does that happen a lot?
00:24:21Sometimes people go space crazy.
00:24:24Jeez, okay, well,
00:24:25hope that doesn't happen to me.
00:24:27And this last one
00:24:28absolves our company
00:24:28from any liability
00:24:29in case one of the other passengers
00:24:31goes space crazy
00:24:32and shoots you or something.
00:24:33Are there guns on the spaceship?
00:24:34You know,
00:24:34I don't know the answer to that,
00:24:35but I would be happy
00:24:36to look into it for you.
00:24:37Oh, thank you so much.
00:24:38That would be great.
00:24:39But I am gonna need you
00:24:40to sign real quick.
00:24:41Oh, sure, right.
00:24:43And then Steve Martin
00:24:44gets this little tear in his eye.
00:24:47He's looking at his daughter,
00:24:48but all he can see
00:24:50is his little girl.
00:24:52Oh, goddammit, Cooter.
00:24:53Why can't we watch the television?
00:24:55Come on,
00:24:55you're doing good, Mr. S.
00:24:58Cooter!
00:24:58Where is he?
00:25:00He's on TV.
00:25:01Nobody watch it.
00:25:02Hey, everybody.
00:25:04I found another TV
00:25:05in the banquet room.
00:25:06We can just power this thing up
00:25:07and...
00:25:09Cooter crossing the line.
00:25:11What is wrong with him?
00:25:12Oh, my God, he's bleeding.
00:25:14Somebody call 911.
00:25:16It's too late.
00:25:18Cooter, this man is...
00:25:19Look, everybody.
00:25:20Kyle's on TV.
00:25:22There he goes.
00:25:22Kyle Capshaw,
00:25:23the last passenger
00:25:24onto the shuttle,
00:25:25about to leave everyone
00:25:26on Earth for Mars.
00:25:28For Mars.
00:25:29For Mars.
00:25:29Yeah, he's not getting
00:25:31married at all today.
00:25:32He's going to Mars.
00:25:42Hello, straggler.
00:25:43I'm L. Ron Branson.
00:25:45Welcome aboard.
00:25:49Pick up.
00:25:50Pick up.
00:25:51You better pick up.
00:25:54Oh!
00:25:56Mmm.
00:25:57Burn.
00:25:58And we are approaching liftoff.
00:26:01Ten.
00:26:02Nine.
00:26:03Eight.
00:26:04Seven.
00:26:05Six.
00:26:07Five.
00:26:08Four.
00:26:10Two.
00:26:12One.
00:26:13Liftoff!
00:26:32Okay.
00:26:33Artificial gravity is set in.
00:26:34Listen up, my fellow astronauts.
00:26:37Whoa.
00:26:38First things first,
00:26:39when I call your name,
00:26:41come on up,
00:26:41get yourself a name tag,
00:26:43and tell us a little
00:26:43sobre ti mismo, lo que hiciste en el mundo y lo que quieres salir de este viaje.
00:26:48Todd Sullivan.
00:26:52Mi nombre es Todd.
00:26:53Creo que es estúpido que todos tenemos que estar aquí y presentarnos a nosotros
00:26:56y, ah, no me gustan los nametags.
00:26:58Oh, ok. Bueno, no tenemos que usarlos, creo.
00:27:02Pero yo me quedé todo el día haciendo todos los dibujos individuales.
00:27:08Ok.
00:27:09Bueno, supuestamente podemos comer coquetel shrimp y jugar a los jugadores.
00:27:13Ok, Wimmy, ¿crees que tu serve se hizo sobre el net?
00:27:16Uh, sí.
00:27:17Ok, Kyle, ahora tú tomes una carta.
00:27:20¿Tienes retornado a la volley?
00:27:21Es dice, sí.
00:27:23Oh, bien. Ok, Wimmy, tomes otra carta.
00:27:25¿Tienes retornado a la volley?
00:27:27Es dice que me falleció.
00:27:28Oh, punto de acuerdo.
00:27:30Kyle, tú obtienes una carta de recompensa.
00:27:33Ahora, ¿te gustaría sorpresa ahora o sorpresa más tarde?
00:27:36Uh, yo tomo sorpresa más tarde.
00:27:39¿Sabes, los comerciales que hicieron futuros futuros parecen mucho más futuros?
00:27:44Y tennos-y.
00:27:46¿Te hiciste este juego, Elrón?
00:27:47Bueno, si ustedes no se sienten, podemos jugar futuros badminton, futuros hi-li, o futuros darts.
00:27:53Uh, ¿sabes?
00:27:54Bueno, estoy bien. Voy a ir a mingle.
00:28:14Bueno, vamos a ver.
00:28:25¿Qué? We just picked up and left for a month.
00:28:27¿Your amigos aún estarán ahí para ti cuando te vuelven?
00:28:30Uh, no sé si.
00:28:31¡Claro, sí, sí, sí, sí!
00:28:32Yo solo le dije a mis amigos,
00:28:34¡Ga, yo voy a volver en un mes!
00:28:36Y luego les dejó 20 bolsos de food,
00:28:39y yo llégué el agua con leche.
00:28:41¿Qué?
00:28:42¡They están bebiendo!
00:28:43Yo supongo que estás hablando de los gatos aquí.
00:28:46¿Te dejó el agua con un agua lléguida con leche?
00:28:49Precisely.
00:28:50Peggy, es June.
00:28:52Esa leche va a ser malo en un día o dos.
00:28:55¿Qué dices?
00:28:56¿Qué dices?
00:28:57Bueno, eso es todo que te dejó para tus gatos a beber?
00:29:00¿Sí? ¿Qué dices?
00:29:02Bueno, ¿qué va a pasar después de la leche de agua lléguida y tienen tres y media meses con nada
00:29:05a beber?
00:29:07¿Qué dices?
00:29:09Nada.
00:29:10No quiero nada.
00:29:27¿Qué dices?
00:29:37¿Qué dices?
00:29:38¿Qué dices?
00:29:39¿Es esto que va a ser como un shot o algo?
00:29:41No.
00:29:43No.
00:29:53No.
00:29:56No.
00:29:58No.
00:29:59No.
00:29:59No.
00:29:59No.
00:30:00No.
00:30:01No.
00:30:01No.
00:30:02No.
00:30:03No.
00:30:03No.
00:30:04No.
00:30:07No.
00:30:08No.
00:30:10No.
00:30:11No.
00:30:12No.
00:30:13I've slept on my arm weird.
00:30:15God, does the aerobet have to flate it.
00:30:17Ah, my neck.
00:30:20Elron, I'm having a little trouble moving my neck.
00:30:23How did I get over here?
00:30:24Bueno, después de tomar todos esos ambien...
00:30:26¿Qué? ¿Ambien?
00:30:28Nos tomó 500 ambien.
00:30:31Muy cool, ¿no?
00:30:33¿Qué es lo que stasis es?
00:30:34¿Es eso cómo Pepe murió?
00:30:36Oh, ¿qué?
00:30:37Oh, ¿qué?
00:30:39¿Tú todos los tomas?
00:30:40Ok.
00:30:41Oh, ¿qué?
00:30:41¿Dónde ustedes notice mi sign?
00:30:44Es dice,
00:30:45¡Bienvenido a Mars!
00:30:46¡A lugar para amigos!
00:30:48Oh, sí, eso es cool, man.
00:30:51Como pueden ver,
00:30:52yo dibujé cada uno de nosotros.
00:30:53It took me most of the two weeks here.
00:30:54Todd, ¿qué piensas?
00:30:55Uh, it sucks.
00:30:57It's stupid.
00:30:58You're stupid.
00:30:58You suck.
00:31:01Come on, Todd.
00:31:03Oh, here we go.
00:31:05Ladies and gentlemen,
00:31:06in a few moments,
00:31:07the airlock door will open
00:31:09and in front of the watching world,
00:31:11we will become the first people
00:31:13to step from this ship
00:31:14and see Mars with our own eyes.
00:31:23Oh, this is incredible.
00:31:34Gather around, gather around.
00:31:36Just want to lay down some ground rules
00:31:38for my fellow Martians.
00:31:42Thank you, Jesus.
00:31:43The first and most important rule is
00:31:45have fun.
00:31:47Have fun up here, guys.
00:31:48This is your vacation.
00:31:50Mars is for fun.
00:31:52The second rule is
00:31:53do not touch the airlock
00:31:54because it will kill you.
00:31:55Now, down that corridor
00:31:56are the sleeping pods.
00:31:57Go claim a room
00:31:58and be back here
00:31:59for our first Martian lunch
00:32:00at 1,400.
00:32:04Well, hello, Kyle.
00:32:06Oh, hey, Wimmy.
00:32:07I see that you were praying again.
00:32:09A lot of prayer with you.
00:32:11All right.
00:32:11So, uh...
00:32:12So what's your story?
00:32:14Well, I'm a faithful husband
00:32:15with a wife who is quite a beauty
00:32:17on the inside,
00:32:18a proud father
00:32:18to five angelic children.
00:32:20I have type 2 diabetes
00:32:21and I don't believe in dinosaurs.
00:32:23What about you?
00:32:24Uh, I'm a dentist,
00:32:25which is cool.
00:32:27Actually, no, it's not.
00:32:29Little kids hate me.
00:32:29And, uh, I do believe in dinosaurs.
00:32:33Well, we'll work on that.
00:32:35That's why I'm here.
00:32:36I'm a missionary of sorts.
00:32:37I'm going to turn Mars
00:32:38into the first
00:32:39completely Christian planet.
00:32:41Okay, but there aren't
00:32:42any people on Mars.
00:32:44Aren't there?
00:32:46Oh, no.
00:32:49Bon appetit.
00:32:50Whoa.
00:32:52Elrond, did you make
00:32:54all this yourself?
00:32:55I had a little help
00:32:56from my good friend,
00:32:57murdered Midwestern
00:32:58homosexual teenager.
00:33:01One more time, Elrond?
00:33:02I said this meal
00:33:04was actually prepared
00:33:05by one murdered
00:33:06Midwestern homosexual teenager.
00:33:10It's an acronym.
00:33:11Its technical name is
00:33:12mechanical, ultra-responsive,
00:33:14dietary, electronic,
00:33:15robotic, energized,
00:33:16delivery, meal,
00:33:17interface, dietary,
00:33:17wellness, efficiency system,
00:33:19tactile, edible,
00:33:20responsorous, nutrition,
00:33:21home, or mobile,
00:33:22omnivorous, sustenance,
00:33:23expeditious,
00:33:23xenoculinary, user-aligned,
00:33:25lunch tool-enabled,
00:33:26eating-nourishment,
00:33:27aging, gastronomical,
00:33:28electronic robot.
00:33:29What?
00:33:30But that's a little bit
00:33:31of a mouthful,
00:33:32so we call it the
00:33:32Murdered Midwestern
00:33:33Homosexual Teenager
00:33:34for short.
00:33:35That's really weird
00:33:37and offensive.
00:33:38I think that happened.
00:33:39This is a one-of-a-kind
00:33:40prototype,
00:33:41but in a few years,
00:33:42Lord willing,
00:33:42every town from Chicago
00:33:44to New Orleans
00:33:44will have its own
00:33:45murdered Midwestern
00:33:46homosexual teenager.
00:33:48Gotta fix that acronym.
00:33:49Yeah, some of those words
00:33:50seemed unnecessary.
00:33:51You said robotic twice.
00:33:53Hey, I didn't name it.
00:33:54Take it up with the good people
00:33:55that the Holocaust
00:33:56was greatly exaggerated.
00:33:58I'm sorry, what?
00:33:59It's a company.
00:34:00It stands for
00:34:00Technological Human Electronics.
00:34:02Okay, okay, so
00:34:02how does this thing work?
00:34:04It's basically like
00:34:05a 3-D printer for food.
00:34:06You just say whatever
00:34:07you want it to make
00:34:08and it...
00:34:09Jaeger.
00:34:12Rad.
00:34:13You got to hit that shit
00:34:15when the DJ's on.
00:34:17Yeah, baby,
00:34:17wear my slip-pajama
00:34:19when the food is wrong.
00:34:20You got to hit that shit
00:34:22when they play your song.
00:34:24You got to hit that shit
00:34:25You got to hit that shit
00:34:26Run, yeah,
00:34:27take that shit
00:34:28Oh, yeah.
00:34:29Oh, yeah.
00:34:37Oh, yeah.
00:34:38Oh, yeah.
00:34:40Oh, yeah.
00:34:42Oh, yeah.
00:34:43Oh, yeah.
00:34:44Oh, yeah.
00:34:45Whoa.
00:34:45Hey, Wimmy.
00:34:48Good morning.
00:34:49This is a surprise.
00:34:50Yeah, you're in my bed.
00:34:53Oh, well,
00:34:53are we sure you
00:34:55didn't get in my bed?
00:34:56Yep.
00:34:57This is my bed.
00:34:58Oh, well,
00:34:59last night was the first
00:35:00in 18 years
00:35:01that I didn't share my bed
00:35:02with my lovely
00:35:03on-the-inside wife.
00:35:04So in my sleep,
00:35:05I must have wandered over here,
00:35:06mistaking your bodily warmth
00:35:08for hers.
00:35:09Okay, well,
00:35:12I'm going to get up.
00:35:1310-4, good buddy.
00:35:22There were good people
00:35:24on both sides
00:35:25of the Charlottesville fans.
00:35:28They even put spaces in the...
00:35:29Fuck this company.
00:35:32Last night was fun.
00:35:35You know what, Peggy?
00:35:36Last night was fun.
00:35:38I think this is a really great group
00:35:40we got here.
00:35:40And it's cool
00:35:41that we're on Mars.
00:35:43And it's cool
00:35:44we're on Mars.
00:35:45You're right, Peggy.
00:35:46Fucking Mars.
00:35:48All right.
00:35:51Oh, boy.
00:35:53You know what
00:35:53that alarm means.
00:35:54It's time
00:35:55for Kyle's surprise.
00:35:57Okay, what's going on?
00:35:59What are we talking about?
00:36:00Your surprise.
00:36:01Surprise later
00:36:02from future tennis?
00:36:03Oh, right.
00:36:04Hey, wow,
00:36:05look at me.
00:36:06Everything's coming up, Kyle.
00:36:07Now, I know
00:36:08the Martian landscape
00:36:09can feel pretty foreign,
00:36:11but you've won something
00:36:12that's going to make
00:36:13this place
00:36:14feel a lot more like home.
00:36:16All right, okay.
00:36:18Lay it on me.
00:36:19Fun.
00:36:19Okay, Kyle.
00:36:21Say hello
00:36:22to your very own...
00:36:25Talk to me, baby.
00:36:26What do we got?
00:36:29Beyonce!
00:36:31What the fuck?
00:36:32What the fuck?
00:36:34Wait, how is...
00:36:35How, how, how is she here now?
00:36:37When you won future tennis,
00:36:39I asked if you wanted
00:36:40surprise now
00:36:40or surprise later.
00:36:42You said surprise later.
00:36:43She shouldn't be here.
00:36:44This is bad.
00:36:45Can we pause?
00:36:46Can we pause for a second?
00:36:47Can we make the door
00:36:48go back up, please?
00:36:49No, Kyle.
00:36:50We have to get her out of there.
00:36:51That's a decompression chamber.
00:36:53They're very dangerous.
00:36:54Oh, God.
00:36:54Oh, God.
00:36:55Oh, God.
00:36:55Fuck me.
00:36:56Fuck me.
00:36:56Oh, fuck.
00:36:57Ha, ha, ha.
00:36:58Hi, Pumpkin!
00:37:00Hi, Kyle.
00:37:04Hi, I'm Candace,
00:37:06Kyle's fiancée.
00:37:06That's funny.
00:37:07Kyle never talked
00:37:08about you at all.
00:37:08Yeah, I did.
00:37:09Yes, I know.
00:37:10I'm sure that I did.
00:37:11So this is, this is crazy.
00:37:13This is also surprising.
00:37:14How are you here?
00:37:15Well, when you chose
00:37:17surprise later,
00:37:18I knew we had to think
00:37:18of something really good
00:37:20for you.
00:37:20And as luck would have it,
00:37:22right then,
00:37:22Candace showed up
00:37:23at the launch pad
00:37:24and was going on and on
00:37:25about how much she needed
00:37:26to get up here
00:37:27and get to you.
00:37:28When I found out,
00:37:29I said,
00:37:30what the heck?
00:37:30Send her up in a supply pod.
00:37:32Nothing is more important
00:37:33than true love.
00:37:34That's so cool.
00:37:36What would have happened
00:37:37if he chose surprise now?
00:37:38He would have won $400,000.
00:37:42Oh, $400,000.
00:37:44Yeah.
00:37:46Uh, Candace,
00:37:47could we just have
00:37:48a little sidebar
00:37:49to kind of clear the air?
00:37:51Because, you know,
00:37:51I'm sensing a little
00:37:53hostility between us.
00:37:55I'm not hostile, Kyle.
00:37:56Are you hostile?
00:37:57No, no, no.
00:37:58I just,
00:37:59I feel like you're in,
00:38:00I mean,
00:38:01I don't want to tell you
00:38:02how you feel,
00:38:02but I imagine
00:38:03that you would have
00:38:05the right
00:38:06to be
00:38:09frustrated with me.
00:38:10I'm perfectly calm, Kyle.
00:38:12Yeah, but, um,
00:38:14you seem mad.
00:38:16I'm not mad.
00:38:17Are you mad?
00:38:18No, no, no.
00:38:18I'm not mad at all.
00:38:20Okay.
00:38:21Then we're not mad.
00:38:22Let's just drop it.
00:38:23Okay, yeah, yeah.
00:38:24Fine.
00:38:25I mean, it just,
00:38:26it seems kind of weird.
00:38:28You motherfucker!
00:38:29Help!
00:38:30She's gonna kill me!
00:38:31You dickless piece of shit!
00:38:34Okay, everyone.
00:38:36Seems like the perfect time
00:38:37for a little safety meeting.
00:38:39We've had some rather
00:38:40unsafe behavior recently.
00:38:42I'm not going to name names.
00:38:44But I just want to really quickly
00:38:46go over some of the basics.
00:38:48First things first.
00:38:49This is the airlock.
00:38:51Earlier today,
00:38:52Kyle was suggesting
00:38:52that we leave someone
00:38:53in the airlock.
00:38:55Now, this is unsafe
00:38:56for a myriad of reasons.
00:38:57If you're in this thing
00:38:59without a spacesuit
00:38:59when the exterior door opens,
00:39:01the changing pressures
00:39:02could be fatal.
00:39:03Now, if you do have
00:39:05your spacesuit on
00:39:06and you're going to take a walk
00:39:07on the Martian surface,
00:39:08you would stand on this circle
00:39:09and give the voice command
00:39:11airlock C-L-O-S-E.
00:39:15Airlock closed!
00:39:18Thank you, Peggy.
00:39:19Yes, that is what I was spelling.
00:39:22Exterior door opening
00:39:23in 30 seconds.
00:39:25Okay.
00:39:26Luckily, we have
00:39:27a safeguard built in.
00:39:28If you happen to be stuck
00:39:30inside the airlock
00:39:31without your spacesuit,
00:39:32just give the voice command
00:39:33abort airlock procedure.
00:39:35Well, then do it!
00:39:37I am doing it.
00:39:38I was trying to.
00:39:39Abort airlock...
00:39:40You gotta hurry, Airlock!
00:39:41I'm sorry.
00:39:42I didn't quite get that.
00:39:44Evacuating airlock
00:39:45in 20 seconds.
00:39:46Guys, you cannot say
00:39:47the command
00:39:48while people are talking.
00:39:49You all have to be...
00:39:50Okay, Kyle,
00:39:50I'm gonna take it from here, okay?
00:39:52Abort airlock.
00:39:52Yeah, just be quiet, Kyle.
00:39:54I'm sorry.
00:39:54I didn't quite get that.
00:39:55Candace, now you did it!
00:39:56I'm sorry.
00:39:57I was telling Kyle
00:39:58to be quiet for you.
00:39:59I wasn't gonna say anything.
00:40:00You just did it!
00:40:01Evacuate airlock
00:40:02in 10 seconds.
00:40:03Everyone, shut up!
00:40:04Everyone, shut up!
00:40:06Shut up, Kyle!
00:40:07Shut up!
00:40:08Wimmy, shut up!
00:40:09Stop!
00:40:09You just talked, Candace!
00:40:11I'm sorry, Elron!
00:40:12Will you both shut the fuck up?
00:40:14Everyone, shut up!
00:40:14Shut!
00:40:15Up!
00:40:18Abort airlock.
00:40:22Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh!
00:40:24What the fuck?
00:40:25Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh,
00:40:25oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh,
00:40:26oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh,
00:40:27oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh,
00:40:27did that just happen?
00:40:28Okay, you guys are actually
00:40:29louder than my music.
00:40:31Did you not see that?
00:40:33What are you talking about?
00:40:34Elron is dead!
00:40:36Who?
00:40:37Elron!
00:40:38The billionaire guy
00:40:40that brought us here,
00:40:40the...
00:40:41Elrond, el main guy, Elrond.
00:40:43Oh, right.
00:40:43He died?
00:40:44His head exploded.
00:40:46Fuck off.
00:40:49Holy shit.
00:40:51Oh, that is fucking cool.
00:40:53No, it's not fucking cool.
00:40:55Elrond Branson was the only one who knew how to operate the ship.
00:40:58Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty.
00:41:01Fat man, be quiet, not now.
00:41:04Okay, okay, okay.
00:41:05We just, we need to keep our heads together.
00:41:08Poor choice of words, dude.
00:41:09What?
00:41:09Poor choice of words.
00:41:11What?
00:41:12You said let's keep our heads together.
00:41:14His head exploded.
00:41:15The things you say are inappropriate and you don't realize it.
00:41:18You're dumb.
00:41:19Holy shit.
00:41:20He won't stop singing.
00:41:22Oh, I'm sorry.
00:41:23I'm just the only one trying to get us out of this mess.
00:41:25How?
00:41:26Uh, by sending a little S.O.S. to the big man upstairs.
00:41:29But, Wimmy, God's not real.
00:41:34Peggy, isn't it enough that you killed our captain?
00:41:37Do you have to blasphemy God while you're at it?
00:41:39I didn't kill it.
00:41:40You're the one who said airlock closed.
00:41:43Airlock closed.
00:41:44Hey, come on, Wimmy.
00:41:45Leave Peggy alone.
00:41:47She can't help it.
00:41:47She's, you know.
00:41:49What are you saying, Kyle?
00:41:50I mean, Peggy is obviously, she's, you know.
00:41:55Peggy, I don't want to offend you, but, I mean, you're obviously, like, you have a mental thing.
00:42:02Right?
00:42:02Are you mentally handicapped?
00:42:04Oh.
00:42:05I'm sorry.
00:42:06No, that came out wrong.
00:42:08Look, it's not going to solve anything for us to be blaming each other.
00:42:11Now, I'm sure each one of us in this room has made mistakes.
00:42:14And right now, the best thing is for everyone here to just forgive everyone here so that we can all
00:42:21work together moving forward.
00:42:23So we can all work together moving forward.
00:42:27Todd, what is with the attitude?
00:42:29I don't have an attitude.
00:42:30Well, I'm not your fucking dad, man.
00:42:31I know you're not my dad.
00:42:33My dad is awesome.
00:42:35Is Alron okay?
00:42:43Okay, we have to get in touch with Mission Control.
00:42:45Tell them what happened and get them to pick us up and take us home.
00:42:48I know!
00:42:49Hit this one!
00:42:50Peggy, don't touch.
00:42:52This is dangerous.
00:42:53Okay, from now on, no one touches anything.
00:42:57Todd!
00:42:58Telecom.
00:42:59It's short for telecommunications.
00:43:02Mission Control.
00:43:03Can you hear us?
00:43:04There they are!
00:43:06Bastards!
00:43:07You bastard!
00:43:09Come to kill us now, too?
00:43:12Guys, guys, we are so sorry about Elron.
00:43:16It was an accident.
00:43:17We saw everything.
00:43:19There's cameras.
00:43:20Uh, what do we do?
00:43:23How do we get back home?
00:43:24What happens?
00:43:24Okay.
00:43:26Well, we should be able to just have the ship automatically bring you home.
00:43:30Just don't touch that big red button.
00:43:33Um, Peggy already did.
00:43:37What?
00:43:38You didn't hear a grinding sound, did you?
00:43:40Yeah.
00:43:41Well, great.
00:43:42That just disengaged all the return boosters.
00:43:45Oh, thank you, Peggy.
00:43:46Did I fix it?
00:43:47Well, now what?
00:43:48Are we screwed?
00:43:49Is there another way to get back?
00:43:51Of course there is.
00:43:52In the sciences, we always prepare for a plan B.
00:43:56Oh, thank God.
00:43:58Yeah.
00:43:58If we start constructing another ship now, we can get to you guys in about five years.
00:44:04Five years?
00:44:05Did you say five years?
00:44:06We're all going to be stuck up here for five years?
00:44:09Five.
00:44:09Five whole years.
00:44:10Well, maybe you should have thought about that.
00:44:12Before you killed Elron Branson, he was a candle in the wind.
00:44:16And a rocket man.
00:44:19That dude was a nerd.
00:44:22Nerd?
00:44:23Nerd?
00:44:24You know what?
00:44:24That's the problem with cools.
00:44:26You guys just think you can say whatever you want to anybody.
00:44:30Well, if you wanted a world without nerds, then Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.
00:44:37You're on one.
00:44:38Nerds out.
00:44:39No, no, no.
00:44:40Nerds.
00:44:41Nerds.
00:44:41Nerds.
00:44:42No.
00:44:43No.
00:44:53I cannot get enough of things like that.
00:44:55Look at that.
00:44:55Now, let's see if we can go frame by frame.
00:44:57Toby, can we go frame by frame here?
00:44:59Someone get Toby out of the chair and let's go frame by frame.
00:45:01Okay.
00:45:02Here we go.
00:45:02Now, he's like, oh, oh, I'm in trouble.
00:45:05I'm in trouble.
00:45:05Oh, boom.
00:45:07Rewind.
00:45:08See?
00:45:08See?
00:45:08He's still alive there.
00:45:09Still alive there.
00:45:10There.
00:45:11Still alive.
00:45:11He's feeling it right there.
00:45:14And that's where I think he died.
00:45:15What about you?
00:45:16I honestly have a hard time watching this stuff.
00:45:18Oh, not me.
00:45:19I have a whole folder of this sort of stuff on my desktop at home.
00:45:22It's marked taxes so my wife doesn't snoop around in it.
00:45:25Getting back to the crisis at hand, millions and millions of viewers around the globe are
00:45:29mourning the loss of billionaire philanthropist Elron Branson and watching the developments
00:45:34with bated breath.
00:45:35So much so that Mars Enterprises has set up a 24-hour feed so concerned citizens can
00:45:39monitor the events in the space station around the clock.
00:45:42And with the sudden and shockingly metal death of the only person who knew how to operate
00:45:47the ship, how do you think the crew's holding up?
00:45:49I tell you, it must be incredibly, incredibly tense up there.
00:45:53Let's take a look at the feed.
00:45:55Where should we start?
00:45:56Hey, why not the women's bathroom?
00:45:58I like the way you think.
00:45:59Stupid Kyle doesn't realize what he's giving up.
00:46:02But you're going to remind him.
00:46:06You're the hottest bitch on this planet.
00:46:09Pizza.
00:46:11Roast beef.
00:46:14Chocolate.
00:46:16Frosted Lucky Charms.
00:46:18Reese's Buffs.
00:46:18Cocoa Buffs.
00:46:25Hi.
00:46:28So, Todd, huh?
00:46:30That's an interesting name.
00:46:33I'm not going to stick my dick in crazy.
00:46:34What?
00:46:35You just told your boyfriend you're on a break.
00:46:37You're hurt.
00:46:38You're angry.
00:46:38You want to fuck somebody.
00:46:40You're being crazy.
00:46:41Oh, my God.
00:46:42I wouldn't even think.
00:46:44Okay, sweet.
00:46:45That is not why I came over here.
00:46:48Oh, okay.
00:46:49My mistake.
00:46:49And for your information, crazy girls are the best in bed.
00:46:54That's not true.
00:46:55That's just something crazy girls say.
00:46:57Oh!
00:47:03Hey, Peggy.
00:47:04They never said there was a limit on how much food we could make.
00:47:08God, it stinks in here.
00:47:10Anyways, just wanted to stop by and say you were looking pretty hot tonight.
00:47:15Shut up!
00:47:17Literally nobody has ever said that to me.
00:47:21Literally!
00:47:22That's a shame.
00:47:23Because I think you're fucking sexy.
00:47:26Candace, you are blowing my mind right now.
00:47:29What do you say we lock this door, put on some music, grab a bottle of Everclear, and...
00:47:37Candace, I'm going to stop you right there, and don't stick my fingers in crazy.
00:47:41What?
00:47:42It's my one rule.
00:47:44Don't get me wrong, Candace.
00:47:45You're a very attractive woman, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't flattered.
00:47:49But I know where this road leads, and it's not a place where either of us would feel good...
00:47:55What the fuck is wrong with everyone on this spaceship?
00:48:03Hey there.
00:48:06Whimmy, right?
00:48:08Shh.
00:48:13Okay.
00:48:16Hi, Candace.
00:48:18I was just talking to my best friend.
00:48:20Who's your best friend?
00:48:22Ugh, this is so fucking hard.
00:48:25What say you and I have a little drink?
00:48:28Let me stop you right there.
00:48:29I do not imbibe.
00:48:31But I am happy to provide some non-judgmental company while you poison your brain and jeopardize your soul with
00:48:36alcohol.
00:48:37You're funny.
00:48:39Listen, Whimmy.
00:48:41You're a man with needs.
00:48:43I'm a woman with needs.
00:48:45What do you say we help each other out?
00:48:47What?
00:48:47No!
00:48:48No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:48:49I am taken.
00:48:51Here's the Tillium's clan right here.
00:48:53Ah!
00:48:54What?
00:48:55No, no, no.
00:49:02Candace!
00:49:02We just adulteried!
00:49:04I adulteried!
00:49:05I just betrayed my wife and children!
00:49:11I'm sorry.
00:49:12I just don't know what's going on with me.
00:49:14This whole thing with me and Kyle has me feel like I'm losing my mind.
00:49:20it's not usually like this I swear
00:49:22okay
00:49:24well the Lord has everything happen
00:49:26for a reason
00:49:27so maybe he can use this
00:49:30as a teachable moment
00:49:31okay
00:49:32John 3.16 says
00:49:34for God so loved the earth
00:49:36that he gave his only begotten son
00:49:37yeah but Wimmy
00:49:39we're not on earth
00:49:40well it says earth
00:49:42but it means the whole solar system
00:49:44well why would he say earth
00:49:46if he meant solar system
00:49:49Candace
00:49:49Well, way back when this was written
00:49:51God probably had no idea that in the future
00:49:54Man would make it to other planets
00:49:56Well, I mean, he knew
00:49:58He just, he had to know
00:49:59He just probably didn't, I mean
00:50:02Hold on
00:50:04Hey, hey, I mean, I get it, guys
00:50:06In high school, I wasn't the most popular guy, either
00:50:08I didn't even kiss a girl
00:50:10Until I was 18
00:50:1218?
00:50:1418?
00:50:15That's not nerdy, that's cool
00:50:17I didn't mean 18, it wasn't 18
00:50:19I don't know why I said that, it was way later
00:50:22It was like 20
00:50:2329, 29, I was 29
00:50:26Oh, okay
00:50:29That's pretty lame, I guess
00:50:31I mean, I kissed a girl when I was 28
00:50:33I didn't, but I could have
00:50:36Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute
00:50:37You kissed a girl at 28?
00:50:40Are you sure I'm not talking to a couple of cools right now?
00:50:44Yeah, right
00:50:45Get out of here
00:50:47You don't really think that
00:50:48Oh, I don't know
00:50:49I'm getting some real cool vibes coming through this monitor right now
00:50:52Shut up
00:50:53You know what would be really cool, though?
00:50:56If you guys could help me figure out how to fly this thing back home
00:51:00Well, I guess us cools have to stick together
00:51:05That's right
00:51:06Okay, well, it's not gonna be easy
00:51:09But I think if we all keep our cool, we'll be able to walk you through it
00:51:15The first thing you're gonna need to do is refill the spaceship's fuel reserve tanks
00:51:19Kyle, I'm so sorry
00:51:22Can we talk?
00:51:23Just, just, just a minute, Candace
00:51:25The mission control guys are helping us get home
00:51:27All right, now, to do this, you'll need to divert the fuel from the station's resting generators to the ship's
00:51:33return tank
00:51:34Okay, resting generators
00:51:35Got it
00:51:35I cheated on you with Wimmy
00:51:39With Wimmy? What? Why? Weird
00:51:41Okay, all right, look, Candace, that is really shitty
00:51:45And we will have to talk about that
00:51:48But I, I gotta do this right now
00:51:49This is what I'm talking about
00:51:51I travel all the way through space to get to Mars to talk to you
00:51:55And all you do is ignore me
00:51:58Guys, is this resting generator thing an outside kind of deal?
00:52:01Or is this somewhere in the ship here?
00:52:03That is outside of the ship
00:52:04Right on the underside of the central pond
00:52:07Hi-ya!
00:52:08Candace, no!
00:52:12Two years of my life, Kyle
00:52:13My two best years, wasted with you
00:52:19Oh my god, Candace, stop!
00:52:25Oh my god
00:52:27I could have married Brian Delaney
00:52:36Candace, you broke the air thing
00:52:38Well, now we're even
00:52:40Because you broke my heart
00:52:42No, no, no! You broke the fucking air thing!
00:52:45The meek shall inherit the earth
00:52:49The earth is filled with the steadfast love of the lord
00:52:54The earth is the lord of the fullness thereof
00:53:04The thing! She, she fucking broke the thing!
00:53:07We're gonna die!
00:53:08Do you wanna play future tennis with me?
00:53:12Todd, I, I don't know how to fix the container
00:53:15And I saw her do it
00:53:16She threw the, the thing
00:53:18And then it made the, the thing punch right through it
00:53:20We're gonna die!
00:53:21We're all gonna die!
00:53:22What are you talking about?
00:53:23We're gonna die, man!
00:53:25And why do you think we're dying?
00:53:26Because I saw the fucking air!
00:53:28Our air is sucked out into outer space!
00:53:31Okay, and how did that happen?
00:53:32Because this bitch
00:53:34Hey!
00:53:36No, no!
00:53:36Do not judge me until I have finished my sentence
00:53:40Because then you will see that she has murdered you
00:53:45And she has murdered you
00:53:47And she has murdered me
00:53:49And she has also committed suicide
00:53:53And killed Wimmy
00:53:54Where, where's Wimmy?
00:53:57There is no god here
00:53:58We abandoned him when we left the earth
00:54:00He has no jurisdiction up here
00:54:02The red planet is the planet of the devil
00:54:07Okay, first of all
00:54:08I'm gonna apologize to the room
00:54:10Uh, I lost my cool there
00:54:13I said some things that didn't need to be said
00:54:15And it's important for a leader to be calm and collected
00:54:18What?
00:54:19What?
00:54:20Dude, you are amazing
00:54:22Hey, can you say that part about you being the leader again?
00:54:25Kyle, do you want to play future tennis with me?
00:54:27Kyle hates future tennis
00:54:28He thinks it's a game that makes the person you claim to have love for two years
00:54:32Come and see you after you tried to run away from them
00:54:34Okay, Candace, can we try and stay focused, please?
00:54:37Life-threatening situation here
00:54:38Ring a bell, you threw a fit, now we're fucked
00:54:40We're fucked?
00:54:41Yes, we're fucked
00:54:42We're not fucked
00:54:43We still have a perfectly good spaceship sitting right over there that can take us home
00:54:48No, the nerd said that there's all this complicated stuff we have to do
00:54:51Let me guess what they said
00:54:52We have to refuel, fill up the gas tank
00:54:55They, well, they said fuel reserve
00:54:57Uh-huh
00:54:58I'm guessing their plan involves something like diverting the fuel from the station's generators into the ship's reserve
00:55:03Probably some sort of exterior switch and a transfer hose we need to connect
00:55:06Wait a minute
00:55:08Okay, I don't want to offend you right now, but
00:55:11Are you smart?
00:55:13Uh, I don't want to offend you, but are you smart?
00:55:16Todd, can I get a sidebar really quick?
00:55:21Candace and Wemmy are very crazy
00:55:22And Peggy is also very crazy
00:55:25You seem in a weird way not to be crazy
00:55:28Do you think that you can help me fix this ship?
00:55:30Uh, I think it'll be more like you helping me fix this ship
00:55:33And also, I don't need that
00:55:35I find that to be very encouraging
00:55:41Hey there, lust muffin
00:55:43What the fuck did you just say?
00:55:45Guess what?
00:55:46What?
00:55:47Turns out you were right about Satan ruling Mars
00:55:49I didn't say anything about...
00:55:51You should have seen it earlier
00:55:52It was right in front of my damn face
00:55:55Part of my French, I swear now
00:55:58What are you talking about?
00:55:59I was just in my room indulging my own flesh
00:56:01Treating my body like a damn playground
00:56:05What is that?
00:56:06Playing with my private parts outside of marriage
00:56:09And I don't give a shh
00:56:11Damn!
00:56:13And guess what?
00:56:14I loved it
00:56:15Now I get what all the fuss is about
00:56:17Why are you telling me all this?
00:56:19I'm here to take you up on your offer
00:56:21I want to do every damn thing
00:56:26Ah, fuck it
00:56:30These suits are pretty cool
00:56:33We just actually became the first two people to ever set foot on Mars
00:56:37Isn't that kind of crazy?
00:56:40I mean, it is to me a little bit
00:56:43I mean, that's a big deal
00:56:45Oh, Todd, be careful
00:56:48Oh, is that the hose we need?
00:56:50Oh, good
00:56:54Hey, how do you know how to do all this stuff?
00:56:56You seem really confident
00:56:58I don't know anything mechanical
00:57:00I was an indoor kid
00:57:02I can't even change a flat
00:57:07Did that fix it?
00:57:08Is it fixed?
00:57:10If you want to talk to me, you have to press this button
00:57:16Yeah, I wasn't talking
00:57:23I can't
00:57:24It won't go in
00:57:25It keeps bending
00:57:27Maybe your butthole's broken
00:57:28My butthole's not broken, Wimmy
00:57:30You have to be hard
00:57:31I'm pretty hard
00:57:32It just keeps bending, though
00:57:37Candice, you need to relax more so I can stuff it in
00:57:40There, I just got it in
00:57:41I'm in
00:57:42We are having sodomy
00:57:45Wow
00:57:46You're not in
00:57:48No, you're right
00:57:49It's out again
00:57:50Damn
00:57:51I gotta say, Todd
00:57:53I am pretty impressed
00:57:54Oh, great
00:57:55I impressed Kyle
00:57:56That means a lot
00:57:57When I get home, everyone will be like
00:57:58Hey, Todd, how was Mars?
00:57:59I'll be like, it was okay
00:58:00But the real cool thing is
00:58:02While I was up there
00:58:02I impressed some idiot
00:58:04Dude, what is the deal?
00:58:06What?
00:58:07What is with the negativity, man?
00:58:09What is your issue with me?
00:58:10Seriously?
00:58:11Seriously?
00:58:12Yeah
00:58:13I don't like the way you treat women
00:58:15I'm sorry, excuse me?
00:58:17The way I treat women
00:58:18Did I bash her face in with the lamp?
00:58:21Did I throw a monitor at her head?
00:58:23It just didn't really sit well with me
00:58:24The way you were throwing around the B word back there
00:58:26What?
00:58:26She is so mean to me
00:58:29She's been treating me like this for two years
00:58:31And she's wrecked the spaceship now
00:58:33And she's ruined my life
00:58:35She ruins your life
00:58:36She came all the way up to Mars for you
00:58:37She is crazy
00:58:38Yeah, because you've made her crazy
00:58:40Look, you're obviously not really committed to your relationship
00:58:43And you've just been stringing her along
00:58:45Instead of manning up and doing the right thing
00:58:46What?
00:58:47Marry her?
00:58:48No
00:58:48Break up with her
00:58:50Let her go find someone who will actually give a shit about her
00:58:54Now, if you'll excuse me
00:58:56I'm gonna go fix the ship
00:59:03Wimmy Tilliams is my name
00:59:04And sinning is my new game
00:59:06Committing adultery felt that good
00:59:08I can't imagine how good it must feel to sin even harder
00:59:21Hey there, handsome devil
00:59:29When the going gets tough and the road is dark
00:59:33And the trouble never ends
00:59:36There's always one thing that you can count on
00:59:39I'm talking about friends
00:59:42I'm talking about friends
00:59:43You can always count on friends to lift you up when you are down
00:59:48Friends are always there for you
00:59:52When no one else is around
00:59:56Friends!
00:59:57That's what I'm talking about
00:59:59Friends!
01:00:00You'll be a mess without friends
01:00:09You'll be a mess without friends
01:00:15They're the gang that you wanna be with
01:00:18Whenever you are able
01:00:22Friends!
01:00:50¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:00:52¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:01:23¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:01:54¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:02:12¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:02:14¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:02:45¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:02:46¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:03:28¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:03:32¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:03:59¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:04:03¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:04:06¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:04:17¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:04:32¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:04:35¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:04:37¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:04:40¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:05:04¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:05:07¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:05:09¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:05:12¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:05:15¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:05:30¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:07:48It's just a bunch of contracts
01:07:49with product placement
01:07:50and deposits from investors.
01:07:52That doesn't explain
01:07:53why they'd send Candace up.
01:07:54Hittin' a brick wall here.
01:07:56Think Cooter, think.
01:07:57I need more meth.
01:08:34¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:08:58¡Vale a empezar a hablar! ¡Vamos a la cadena!
01:09:02¡Vamos a hablar con mi manager!
01:09:07¡Lucy! ¡Estoy en casa!
01:09:10¡Qué es lo que está pasando!
01:09:12¡Peddy, nos ayudamos!
01:09:13¡No preocupes, Kyle!
01:09:17¡Vamos a matar tantas personas como necesito para que te vuelva a la tierra!
01:09:21¿Te reconocen este pedazo de mierda?
01:09:23¡Pero desculpe, Mr. Kepler! ¡Estamos desculpados de mi pecho!
01:09:26¡Oh! ¡Oh! ¡That's right!
01:09:29¡You fucked with the wrong people this time!
01:09:32¡I don't know what's going on! ¡Please!
01:09:35¡The ants are gonna come in the morning, bitch!
01:09:38¡Chomp chomp! ¡Chomp chomp!
01:09:40¡I told you all I know!
01:09:41¡Our parent company is technological, human, electronic, household, optimal, luxury, organic, cyber, anthropomorphic, utility systems, treatment, worldwide, analytic software!
01:09:50¡The holocaust was greatly exaggerated!
01:09:53¡They bankrolled the whole fucking thing!
01:09:55Branson didn't have the scratch to pay for the mission himself,
01:09:57so he links up with this company and promises them the best advertising opportunity money can buy.
01:10:01Now he just needs people to tune in.
01:10:03Candace shows up at the launch pad and they're like,
01:10:05shit, this will be some drama.
01:10:06Let's send her up so people can watch the fireworks.
01:10:09But now you're telling me that there's no way the design of that ship
01:10:12would be able to withstand the radiation from the Van Allen belt?
01:10:15Yes, I've worked in aerospace engineering for 35 years.
01:10:18Please don't kill me.
01:10:19Oh, God, don't kill me.
01:10:21Listen to this.
01:10:24Millionaire philanthropist L. Ron Branson was killed today in a tragic accident aboard the Mars Enterprise Space Station.
01:10:30Bull fucking shit he was.
01:10:31There's your 24-7 fucking permanent paid fucking commercial, you sick fucks.
01:10:36Ugh, my skin is on fucking fire right now.
01:10:42There's their headquarters.
01:10:43And I'll bet you all the meth in the world that they're doing more than making home appliances in there.
01:10:49Aha! Skinheads!
01:10:52I knew it!
01:10:53All this time I thought the Holocaust was greatly exaggerated was just a hilarious name.
01:10:57Now I see it's something darker.
01:10:59It's a fucking front for a white power group.
01:11:01Of course!
01:11:05My mind is moving in hyperspace, man.
01:11:07They fucking paperants in to advertise their products and set up an all-white colony on a new planet.
01:11:12They think it'll show people how a one-race world would be a utopia.
01:11:15Then with all the profits from their product placements, they'll send up more and more people.
01:11:19I so horny.
01:11:21Me too, Sleepy. Me too.
01:11:23But we have some Nazis to kill.
01:11:31Here we go, Twigs!
01:11:33The entire energy of the universe is within us!
01:11:40What in the fuck?
01:11:49Twigs!
01:11:50That's the fucking spaceship!
01:11:52They never went to fucking Mars!
01:11:53Branson and the fucking Nazis knew they couldn't get a hotel up there!
01:11:57The whole thing was a giant scam!
01:11:59Branson steals billions from investors, then that phony fucker fakes his own death and makes
01:12:03off with the cash!
01:12:04Then these skinhead pieces of shit use the accidents to get the whole world watching their bullshit,
01:12:09racist, white utopia propaganda, while getting rich selling their fucking vacuum cleaners
01:12:13and blenders!
01:12:14It's almost too simple!
01:12:18Huh?
01:12:23The station is wrecked!
01:12:26How am I breathing?
01:12:29God?
01:12:31Oh no!
01:12:32What have I done?
01:12:34Forgive me, Lord!
01:12:42Jesus!
01:12:44Cooter!
01:12:45Kyle!
01:12:46What's up, man?
01:12:47What the fuck?
01:12:48What is happening?
01:12:49How are you on Mars?
01:12:50You never went to Mars!
01:12:51You're in a warehouse 30 miles south of Carlin, Nevada!
01:12:54The fucking Nazis used you for their sick white supremacy utopia commercial!
01:12:59What are you talking about?
01:13:00I had to beat the living shit out of a pizza boy to figure it out, but it's all right
01:13:04now!
01:13:04Mr. Connor, skinhead!
01:13:06Whoop!
01:13:09Whoop!
01:13:10Whoop!
01:13:11Whoop!
01:13:12Whoop!
01:13:12Whoop!
01:13:12Someone tell me what is happening!
01:13:13Shit's starting to get fun!
01:13:15Twinks!
01:13:17Light them up!
01:13:20Oh no!
01:13:22Ah!
01:13:23Ah!
01:13:25Ah!
01:13:27Ah!
01:13:28Ah!
01:13:35Ah!
01:13:35Ah!
01:13:46Ah!
01:13:51Ah!
01:13:52Ah!
01:13:54Ah!
01:13:56Ah!
01:13:57Ah!
01:13:58Ah!
01:13:59Ah!
01:14:00Ah!
01:14:00Ah!
01:14:01Ah!
01:14:02Ah!
01:14:02Ah!
01:14:03Ah!
01:14:03Ah!
01:14:04Ah!
01:14:05Ah!
01:14:09¡Suscríbete al canal!
01:14:36...and sell products with incredibly offensive names.
01:14:40Here we see the footage of Sir Elron Branson being taken into custody earlier this evening.
01:14:44The four surviving astronauts are finally being reconnected with their loved ones here on Earth.
01:14:51Uh, hey guys. That's sort of a, uh, crazy trip.
01:14:55And I have to go to jail now.
01:14:59That's all the time we have tonight.
01:15:01Stay tuned for Jimmy Fallon, who's going to be playing Guess Who with that squirrel from the Oreos commercials.
01:15:13Hey. How'd it go?
01:15:15Um, what kind of stuff are they asking?
01:15:18Just like what happened when women went crazy and stuff like that.
01:15:23Oh, okay. Um, are you doing all right?
01:15:27Yeah. I'm still shaking up a bit, but, yeah.
01:15:32So, I guess this is it.
01:15:36Yeah, I guess so.
01:15:40So, what are you going to do now?
01:15:41Just hang around at the bar with Cooter?
01:15:44Oh, no. No.
01:15:46Cooter's in a lot of trouble. He killed, like, hundreds of people.
01:15:49Yeah, but it was kind of in self-defense.
01:15:51No, no, no, no. Before that, he killed, like, nine people or something in the weeks leading up to that
01:15:56gunfight.
01:15:57I think, like, two of them were children.
01:15:59Oh, my God.
01:16:00Yeah.
01:16:01Are you going to visit him in prison?
01:16:05Um, I don't think so.
01:16:09Well, see you around.
01:16:13Hey, Candace. Um, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I really am.
01:16:20I know. And someday, I'll be okay with it.
01:16:30Hey! Elrond!
01:16:31Oh! Hey, Kyle. Uh, how's it going?
01:16:36So, is it true? It was all a hoax from the beginning?
01:16:39Yep. Pretty much.
01:16:41I thought if I made a deal with those white nationalists, I could finally fake my death and disappear with
01:16:45a ton of money.
01:16:46Dude, I just don't get it. You were already rich. I mean, you had everything.
01:16:50Why would you want to fake your own death?
01:16:52Well, I have this fiancée who just absolutely smothers me.
01:16:59Kyle Capshaw?
01:17:01And then Cooter just kept laughing and shooting the corpses until they just sort of, like, jellified.
01:17:08Thank you, Mr. Capshaw.
01:17:11I gotta say, this is kind of a godsend for us here at NASA.
01:17:14What do you mean? How so?
01:17:15Well, this is exactly the kind of story we need to get the federal government to give us our funding
01:17:18back.
01:17:19What happened to you is a perfect example of corporatism in the sciences run-among.
01:17:23We're gonna put that Peggy Bork lady on every talk show in the country telling this story.
01:17:27Peggy?
01:17:28Yeah. She's gonna be a national hero. We're gonna make her the new face of NASA.
01:17:33Neil Armstrong can suck my fucking nuts. We're in the Peggy Bork business now.
01:17:37Uh, that's cool, but what about me? I mean, I actually did way more stuff than Peggy.
01:17:45Yeah. The thing is, uh, Peggy Moore represents the image we want out there for NASA.
01:17:54Are you fucking kidding me? Cause she's... I mean, she's like...
01:17:58I think that she's mentally handicapped.
01:18:01Oh, come on now. The thing is, Kyle, a cultural icon needs to project a certain essence of American values
01:18:09and wholesomeness.
01:18:11What are you trying to say?
01:18:13Everybody's seen the doll video.
01:18:15What doll video? Sandy.
01:18:20What do you mean everybody's seen the video?
01:18:24They played it on the news pretty often while you guys were trapped up there. Or, uh, down here. Trapped
01:18:31down here.
01:18:32We just can't have a doll licker be the face of the National Space Agency.
01:18:37You understand.
01:18:41Well, the stranded Martian passengers are stranded no more.
01:18:45And we know of one little porcelain doll who's probably very happy that they're safe and sound.
01:19:00Well, great.
01:19:05I think that's the guy from the news that licks dolls.
01:19:08And the Peggy Bork National Press Tour continues.
01:19:12This morning she was seen playing the xylophone with Michael Strahan on the Today Show.
01:19:16And rumors are swirling that Ryan Gosling has been making romantic advances.
01:19:21Is it too early to start talking about a new Hollywood power couple?
01:19:24Those two are hot.
01:19:27I am strongly attracted to Peggy Bork.
01:19:32Well, it looks like it's just you and me, Sandy.
01:19:35From here on out, I have no idea what's gonna happen.
01:19:47Come here, you.
01:19:49Come here, you.
01:19:50Come here, you.
01:20:22¡Gracias!
01:20:47¡Gracias!
01:21:15¡Gracias!
01:21:52¡Gracias!
01:22:10¡Gracias!
01:22:53¡Gracias!
01:23:04¡Gracias!
01:23:24Do you remember the slew of A-list celebs that were constantly dropping by?
01:23:30Like Tom Selleck, Giovanni Rabisi, Paul Rudd, and George Clooney
01:23:37Last but not least we had Brad Pitt, king of celebrities
01:23:43Brad Pitt, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
01:23:47Do you remember when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston dated for all those years?
01:23:55Do you think that maybe they ever filmed themselves doing it and that the ape exists somewhere out there?
01:24:01God, if you could ever find it, you would make a thousand bucks
01:24:06Brad Pitt, you would be dead without Brad Pitt, America's sweetheart
01:24:13Brad Pitt, from Cool World to Fight Club, he's never let us down
01:24:20Last night I dreamt that they renamed Hollywood Brad Pitt Town
01:24:26Do you think he would ever date someone not famous? That would be insane
01:24:32Brad Pitt, hotter than anyone
01:24:36Brad Pitt, also real talented
01:24:39Brad Pitt, come on Academy, where is the Oscar for?
01:24:44Brad Pitt, I heard People Magazine had to stop giving Brad Pitt Sexiest Men Alive
01:24:51That's just because, oh shit, I was singing with my eyes closed, sorry
01:24:55led by my favour
01:24:56Brad Pitt, duck, duck, down
01:24:58Brad Pitt,oko Caversy
01:25:01Żeby's Sp06i
01:25:02Brad Pitt, cat was a grupos of PUBG
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