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Watch The Claudia Winkleman Show Season 1 Episode 1 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:00This is weird because we haven't met but I'm just going to say out loud I'm obsessed by you
00:06Everybody this is Chris. Say hello. Hi
00:10Chris does this extraordinary thing on social where he talks to birds. Who was the naughtiest bird this week?
00:18Spud the little owl
00:20Spud the little owl?
00:23Where does Spud sleep?
00:25In her aviary. Okay, that's a shame
00:30I'm so nervous. I just need to touch people
00:34Nice to see you. Nice to see you look divine. Hello. Oh, I'm gonna do this with everybody
00:39Thank you
01:05We are incredibly grateful
01:07We hope you like the colorway and approve of the carpet to be honest
01:11It is too late if you loathe
01:13We have an amazing audience and it's now time to welcome our brilliant guest
01:18He is a triple threat comedian presenter author. He's got a new book called common decency. It's Tom Allen
01:36He's been nominated for 11 Grammys and she's currently in the West End production of the devil wears Prada. It's
01:43Vanessa Williams
01:52She is the writer and star of absolutely fabulous and national treasure and she's here to talk about her new
01:59film the magic far away tree. It's Jennifer Saunders
02:10And we have got Hollywood royalty. He starred in everything from Jurassic Park to the Grand Budapest Hotel
02:17He's also a musician and has a new album out. It's the wonderful wizard of Oz himself Jeff Goldblum
02:39Thank you so much have a seat this is I can't believe it. Thank you for coming on the first
02:46and possibly last
02:47No, it won't be
02:49We're going to enjoy ourselves. We'll end with the conga
02:52You said you said it's the last show I'll be cut to in a blink of an eye
02:5730 years from now the longest running show ever
03:02No, no more words
03:05We were on the first show
03:08I'm going to start with this. How do you feel about the set?
03:13I think it's stunning
03:14I'm loving I'm like I like the height
03:16Yeah, go ahead because and I like the back being here being close to the actual back. Yes, you know,
03:23they don't have back. Oh, I'm so sorry
03:29I'm basically on a buffet actually or my parents used to have a buffet and then when I came out
03:35they suddenly changed it to the footstool
03:41Oh
03:47It's all all new I would call this a hunter green possibly. Yes, correct. Very manly kind of
03:55British British screen. Yes hunter would you call emerald green dark teal?
04:01Would you dark white teal?
04:04Would you like to meet the woman who chose the color of the sofa?
04:08Here's the scene we go to a basement a sort of sofa workshop. Oh, yeah, we all go as a
04:15gang
04:15We meet a woman called Trudy. We couldn't decide between two colors Trudy is here Trudy
04:29You you chose this color did you not it was really you chose the color amongst 70 other options?
04:39And we designed and made the sofa that it goes on. Wow. Well done Trudy. What would you call this
04:46color, please?
04:46I would call it a very dark teal
04:55I do think as well you guys who work in furniture shops are great. It's not a furniture shop. Oh,
05:02I beg your pardon
05:05It's a boutique. Trudy, I'm sorry. It's a boutique. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoke
05:11You don't get this with what you've got
05:14You don't get this in any other shops. Trudy, I'm sorry. I wish I was dead. I wish I was
05:19dead
05:20I mean, this is what I live for as a gay man being insulted by an upholsterer
05:29The last time I bought any furniture though
05:31I went in to buy a mattress and I walked into the shop and the woman said hi, I'm Faye
05:35And I went oh my god
05:39Good mattress a deep one. I hope you know what buying a mattress is complicated. Have you ever bought one?
05:45I bet you've not bought one
05:46You're a Hollywood star. You don't buy furniture
05:48You have to buy a mattress for lifetime
05:51Yeah, that's what they say always invest in a good bed or good shoes. Yeah, because if you're not in
05:55one you're in the other
05:58I love that
06:00And we went in and she was like and she said you gotta lie lie on it lie on the
06:04bed lie on it like they put down that plastic sheet as though
06:07It's gonna be so comfortable. I'm gonna immediately piss myself
06:11So I'm sliding all over the place and and then she gets on the bed next to me
06:16What? I know and then she said a cuddle
06:18Basically and then she said how do you sleep which sounds sort of accusatory?
06:23Something you shout at people in court is that how do you sleep?
06:26And I said well, I don't know. I'm usually asleep and she said well, are you supported? I said I've
06:30got some very good friends
06:35And then before I went she said and and do you have nightstands and I said well, that is absolutely
06:40none of your business
06:49Explain that joke to me because
06:52This is my audience
06:53It's a British
06:55The double meaning of that of course is a nightstand next to the bed the piece of furniture Trudy
06:59But is nightstand because I think it's a Britishism is the double on tonda which is French for fish of
07:05the day. I think
07:07It's a nightstand is that is that like a like a one-night again counter a one-night encounter. Yeah,
07:14we don't say that in America
07:15No, I've never heard of nightstand
07:17I thought you just meant an erection
07:19I don't I
07:21Do you know what? I thought of many things this way it was gonna go
07:24I didn't think we'd be here with three minutes
07:26No, not so quickly, not so quickly
07:28Not so fast
07:29But yeah
07:29Okay, you two, Vanessa and Jennifer, you are linked by hairdresser
07:35By hair
07:35By Sven
07:38There's a battle tonight because Sven does both of us
07:42You booked in first
07:43Well, babes
07:44Mm-hmm
07:45He's got a lot more work to do
07:48He started this morning
07:51He's very creative
07:53I haven't known Sven that long
07:54Oh, six years
07:55I got you
07:56Oh, babes, darling
07:56I miss those days talking about a hairdresser
08:00I miss those days
08:02Jeff, I would love to talk to you about your album. Look at this
08:12Isn't that beautiful?
08:13Isn't that beautiful?
08:15I do think so really well, Fontana, you know, are great and my other people, my friends helped me do
08:22that
08:22The graphics of it, I do like it. Night Blooms is the name of it
08:26It's a kind of a companion piece to our other, our other fourth album
08:29Yes
08:30Which was still blooming, you get the connection
08:32Oh
08:32Love it
08:33And, um, I love this album very much
08:36It's jazz, you know, we play jazz, we're called Jeff Goldblum and the Mildred Schnitzer Orchestra
08:40And just to name a few
08:42So many
08:43How many in the orchestra?
08:45Five
08:45Two, oh
08:46It was a joke, I made a joke
08:48But last year, the BAFTAs
08:50I had the honour of playing during the In Memoriam section
08:53Oh
08:54I played on the piano with their orchestra
08:57Um
08:57You've sung, you did
08:58You must remember, As Time Goes By
08:59You did, um, oh, I thought it was Ding Dong The Witch is Dead
09:04Don't even
09:06No, that's macabre
09:07Uh, no, it was, it was, uh, you know, it was, uh, As Time Goes By, that beautiful song
09:13And we liked it so much that on this next album I sing a little bit of it and I
09:17play some more
09:17Oh
09:17And there's an orchestra on this one
09:20Which brings me, by the way, you may, you brought, you triggered something else in me just now
09:24This is lovely
09:25Um, Ding Dong, which is dead, Cynthia Erivo, the great Cynthia Erivo
09:30Amazing
09:30And I, on this next album, with strings and a big band, do a newfangled version of, um, If I
09:37Only Had a Brain
09:38Oh
09:38Oh
09:39What a beautiful
09:40Now you'll follow me the hour, you've heard it with the flowers
09:43Yeah
09:45So, and many other surprises but, but thank you for bringing it up, I'm very crazy about this album
09:50We have a clip of you playing, not a song from this album, but I believe the last one, but
09:54it's fantastic
09:55Have a look
09:55OK
09:57MUSIC
09:58MUSIC
09:59MUSIC
10:00MUSIC
10:25MUSIC
10:25MUSIC
10:56MUSIC
10:57MUSIC
11:26I have become slightly obsessed with your wife because she sometimes performs
11:33with you. We have a clip. She's spectacular. Here we go.
11:37She's spectacular. Look, look. That's Emily. Isn't she amazing? She was in the Olympics.
11:46She, Emily Goldblum, for heaven's sakes, whom I met at the gym 14 years ago, she
11:52was doing something like that. I wandered over and said, what are you doing? Look at that.
11:56That's at the world-famous Troubadour. I don't think anyone's listening to you playing.
12:01Good point. That's at the Troubadour. You know the Troubadour?
12:03Yes. We did three sold-out shows. She's amazing.
12:08We did three sold-out shows there, and Emily, who was in the Olympics, doing rhythmic gymnastics.
12:14She was, that year that she went to Sydney and did that, she was the Pan-American champion.
12:18She was the best of that in North, South America. She's fantastic. She's still a world-class
12:24athlete. As you can see, she's doing that. She's amazing. We did that a month ago at the Troubadour.
12:30Anyway, that's Emily Goldblum. It's just like looking at me at home.
12:35How do you compete with that? You know when you go home and one of you says, I'll put some
12:39toast in, and does four cartwheels and puts it in with her toes?
12:43She does. Every move is quite a picture. I bet. She's astounding. But, yes.
12:49But you can also do something rather wonderful. Well, I do this. It's not an Olympic activity yet.
12:55Buckle up, guys. I can wiggle my ears, but one at a time.
12:59Watch this. Ready? Yeah.
13:03Oh, my goodness. That's right. That's right, that's right.
13:08Oh, I apologize. Unbelievable. I apologize for everything.
13:14Jeff, you've starred, obviously, in Oscar-nominated Wicked, the biggest musical film in recent memory.
13:20Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah.
13:23And this is my favourite thing. I don't know whether this is true, but please say it is, that occasionally,
13:29you would look down the lens and speak directly to the editor and say,
13:34I like that take, or is that true? Yes, I would do takes. I was trying to do a good
13:38job,
13:38and sometimes, as was my want to do, I think is the phrase, I would, after a take, I would
13:44go,
13:45and he would go, and cut, OK. Jeff says, Myron Kirstein. That's, I say, that's a good one.
13:53Just so you know, our editor is called Steve. He's happy with any notes you have.
13:58That's your camera, over there. If you've said something that you're particularly proud of,
14:03Steve. You just say, Steve, add. Yes, I think I've been lively tonight, Steve,
14:06and I say any, any genuine moment, that especially, I like the spontaneous ones,
14:13Yes. Where there's a real connection, which I've felt strongly with us, so I say,
14:17so far, anything is good for the show. Fine. Thank you. Steve will take that.
14:23Good Steve. I trust you completely, Steve. We all trust Steve.
14:28Um, you are going on tour. Yes, ma'am. You're going to start in Wolverhampton.
14:32Oh, I love the Hamptons. Oh, I'm starting in the Hamptons.
14:37You're going to love Wikipedia. You know, this was all arranged, you know, uh, for us.
14:42I don't, I don't know anything about it. How many, how many gigs, how many, how many towns are you
14:46doing?
14:47We're doing a bunch. They're doing a few. You know, we've been to Glastonbury in several,
14:50you know, in the last several years, and Ronnie Scott's. We've played all over the place.
14:54Would you like to know more about Wolverhampton? Maybe the eateries you should go to,
14:58if there's a statue, a small aquarium. I believe Corey is here. Hello. Hi, Corey. Hello.
15:04You, you've been to Wolverhampton. I am from Wolverhampton. OK, so Jeff's there for a couple of days.
15:10Let's give him the full schedule. I'd like it laminated. Where should he go? Jeff, what you should
15:15do is you should get off the train in Wolverhampton, immediately get back on, and leave Wolverhampton.
15:21No! No! No! No! Where is it? Where is it? I have no idea.
15:28It's early in Switzerland. Yes, it's not far. A couple of hours. OK. Is there somewhere delicious?
15:33No, it's great. Wolverhampton's absolutely great. We have, uh, we have a Nando's.
15:37A what? A Nando's. It's a chicken restaurant. It's a chicken place. But being on tour, there's always
15:42something to do. Well, yes. I love going round Britain on tour. There's always a little museum.
15:49There's a pencil museum. Yes! A moths museum. Yes! I'm very interested in pencils. What do you mean?
15:55I love pencils. There's a lot of shop mannequins dressed up. What's your pencil of choice number?
16:00I used to, I used to, once I go to, my criminal period, when I was eight or nine. Fine.
16:07I stole other kids' pencils. We had those desks that went like that. Yes.
16:11You know, when everybody was going out in a line, I'd be the last one, and I'd wait behind,
16:15and I'd open up desks, and I'd steal their pencils. I hoarded and collected pencils until one day
16:21somebody went, Geoffrey has all our pencils, and then it was very embarrassing, and I'm cured.
16:26I'm a very honest, honest, uh, no stealing. Because the way your face lit up at the sound of a
16:32pencil
16:33museum. I hope there is a pencil museum now. Um, do you like a classic HB? Do you like ones
16:39that you
16:40can... No, I don't like a mechanical pencil. I'm very particular with my ballpoint pen. Can I throw
16:46this into the mix? What? Because this is going to blow your mind. There is a woman here, in this
16:53room,
16:54who designs pencils. No way! Correct! I'm getting goosebumps, I'm telling you. You're getting goosebumps?
17:01Yes, I'm going. Designed pencils. Amy, are you here? Yes. Amy, tell me what you do with pencils and,
17:10and stationary all round. So, I develop new types of pencils. Develop new types of pencils? Do you,
17:18because we don't want to upset him, because he's our very special guest, do you do the
17:24pencils? We have one, yes. Well, I'm open-minded, but I don't like them.
17:30What's the best thing, if that's not too much pressure, that you have ever designed? So,
17:35our best pencil is the drawing pencil, which has the creamiest... Oh, it's creamy? It's the
17:43creamiest pencil and has the widest core. Does that mean the lead that goes through it? Uh, yes.
17:50Is there a pencil museum? Because I'm... Did I make it up? There is. It's in the Lake District. Lake
17:54District? Are you going to the Lake District? I am now. LAUGHTER
17:58Museum. I'm going. Amazing. You have to. I'm definitely going. Thank you. Amy, how brilliant
18:05you're here. Let's have a round of applause for Amy. Oh, I know. Can I say, you know what you
18:10remind me of the other... What? Yeah, the touring around England in plays, you all know that play,
18:16I'm sure, The Dresser. Oh, yes. Yes, lovely play. Great. Courtney did it, yeah. And then Anthony
18:23Hopkins and Ian McKellen re-did it in a remake. Ian McKellen made me eggs. What? Oh! Scramble.
18:29Did you do the eggs? Yes, I was going to scramble. Scramble eggs. Little salmon on the side,
18:34yeah, some toast. Toast? Lovely. Sit down or... Did you get a seat? No, sit down. Sit down.
18:41Barstool or chair? Barstool or chair? Barstool or chair? No, and a proper, uh, proper, uh, dining table. Yeah. Just
18:46the two of you, just the two.
18:47No, no, no, it was a group of people. Gosh, did you do all the eggs at once or did
18:50you do them personally?
18:51Personally, personally. Personally. That's very bespoke, bespoke eggs. I love that. Personally.
18:56I tell you, that's how you get the nightmare. And then you plate them and everything's scrambled.
19:00I had scrambled eggs and smoked salmon this morning. Yeah. Oh, thanks. And toast.
19:04Guys, about two hours ago, we started talking about night blooms. Yes. And I would just like
19:09to lift this up and say, when, when is it out? June 5th. There we go. Wow. Night blooms.
19:17Brilliant. Jeff, no, you are amazing. Um, Jennifer, we have to talk about your film,
19:23The Magic Far Away. Well, you're saying my film. I'm in the film. No, it's your film. OK.
19:29Uh, let's have a clip. It's just like you said. It's enchanted and wonderful.
19:33Dad and I just felt like a place like this would bring us all back together again.
19:38Grandma. I will get them back to the city if it is the last thing I do.
19:42I'm sorry, guys. Better start packing.
19:46You wish to cross the lands. To locate a spell. To save your house from your evil grandma.
19:54We know all of this. You know all that because we just told you it.
19:58All right. No need to get shirty.
20:03Jennifer. Oh, it's just a lovely film.
20:08How much fun was it to me? Just so much fun. Gone. A great wig.
20:13Oh, your hair is fantastic. A really good wig.
20:15Can we just have a look at Frida? Oh, my God. Look at this. Look at this wig.
20:19Look at that. There she is. That's the hair I want. Another fact that we're flacking.
20:24I want that hair. You see nothing. It's so thick and it just stays in that shape.
20:31I love it because now, you see, this is Sven. Most of this is, there's a,
20:35most of a sort of a nun's hair has been woven into, in sort of extensions that are,
20:41you know, nuns sell their hair and they get made into extensions. They do.
20:47They really? Yes. They said what for money? Nuns sell their hair, don't they? Yes.
20:51Thank you. Thank you. I'm just agreeing because it's Jennifer. Whatever she says.
20:56But I love the accent. I love everything about Frida. Yes.
21:00How did she, how was she created? Because I thought it was a small part.
21:04I wouldn't have to do very much. And, but they said, will you come in for rehearsal?
21:06And I went, yeah, of course. And it was with Andrew Garfield and Claire Foy and the children.
21:11And I thought, oh, this is quite, it's big time, you know, because you've sort of been grappled
21:17into this big movie. And, um, I thought I'd better, I'd better try hard. But I had no idea
21:23what was going to come out of my mouth when I, when I first opened my mouth. And I thought,
21:27do you know, I might go a little bit Danish because I can make,
21:31because I can make the Danish noises. Do you know the ticket? Yes.
21:37It's almost fluent. Yes.
21:39Yes.
21:40Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:43So I put a little inflection of Danish into when I read the part. And when we finished,
21:49they went, we love the German. And I went, no, I said, I was sort of more, no, German's good,
21:56German's good. I thought, damn. Yeah. I had to do the whole, I had to learn a German accent then
22:00and do the whole thing in German. But it gave me the character. Yes. So lovely. So lovely.
22:05You guys are so good at accents. The preparedness that you've given, you've been given in, in
22:11schools is amazing. And you have to show up for, you say what? I'm not training. You're not training?
22:18It's extraordinary. I mean, they can throw on an American accent immediately and like refine it.
22:23So it's Midwestern, there's a New York, what period, time period is, but also do all these other ones.
22:28It's really, I'm very impressed. I admire that. I admire. You're a great artist.
22:36Can you do a London accent? Not really.
22:45I want to talk more about the film because the location is so beautiful.
22:49Tell me you were somewhere lovely. We were in a very lovely part of the countryside.
22:54Yeah. Um, and near a wood, near a wood, because it is called the Magic Faraway Tree.
23:00It is about a tree that's magic and very far away. Um...
23:03You don't know where it was, do you? I don't know where it was there.
23:06I think it was in a studio, but there we are.
23:08LAUGHTER
23:09Never mind. Um, very lovely.
23:12Yeah. There is somebody here, because I believe you also have a place in the countryside.
23:17Yes. There is. There is somebody who lives, I think, in your neck of the woods.
23:20Oh, gosh. Is that scary? Slightly.
23:24They go on, go on. They do something rather magical.
23:26In my hood. It's, I believe it is in your hood.
23:30OK. Anna, hello. What have you done this week?
23:33So, my neighbours and I have been helping toads cross the road
23:36to prevent them getting squashed by the cars as they're migrating to their pond to breed,
23:40and we've had, I think we've helped about a thousand toads in the last few weeks.
23:44Wow. A thousand toads!
23:46A thousand toads! That's over a thousand toads.
23:49Oh, my gosh. Wow.
23:51Are you... Are you...
23:54Is it, like, directing, like, ooh, like, signs?
23:58No, no signposts, no signposts. So, I have my head torch and my gloves and a bucket,
24:03and we pick them up off the road, we put them in the bucket,
24:06and we help them to get to the gate near the pond, so they're not going to be on the
24:10road.
24:11Have you thought about building, I don't know, a tunnel?
24:15Do they say... I know this is a weird question, but I've committed to it.
24:19Do they say thank you?
24:21No, but they have the most beautiful little chirping sound.
24:25You can hear them when it's a really quiet evening.
24:27You can hear them kind of chirping, chirping, chirping in the pond, and they're really amazing.
24:31They're very sweet. Very, very good. Hey, are you...
24:38Hey, do you know the end of that P.T. Anderson movie who did this year's One Battle After Another?
24:43Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, of course. Magnolia.
24:47Magnolia, where all the toads or frogs, you know, fall from the sky.
24:51Spoiler alert, Jeff. Spoiler alert. That happens right at the end.
24:54Steve, Steve, if you feel, cut that into...
24:59I love it!
25:03If you could save one animal, what would it have been?
25:07I would save a horse. Would you?
25:09Yes, well, I'd need the hair for my extensions.
25:14Yes, I think for the hair, because, you know, for the hooves.
25:17Yeah. For the mental health.
25:23What would you say, Tom?
25:25You know what? None of them. I think...
25:28You know, people say, oh, it's so relaxing to go and spend time in nature.
25:31But you look closely, all they're doing is eating each other.
25:36It's disgusting. You watch those David Attenborough films. Horrifying.
25:40People love it, don't they? Put it on while they're having their tea.
25:42A lion ripping a gazelle to shreds.
25:47You know, they fall asleep while they're watching a dolphin drown a whale.
25:53Horrible. Why would you save any of them?
25:55I think the sooner we get rid of them, the better.
26:01I just think, you know... Yeah, yeah.
26:05It's a different view.
26:06That's... And I think that's what this show is about.
26:08Correct.
26:10It's very... It's like question time, but for drunk celebrities.
26:16OK, Jennifer, when can we see The Magic Faraway Tree?
26:20I think it's out on March the 27th.
26:23Correct. Yes.
26:24We can't wait, we'll all go.
26:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26:26A blue pattern.
26:30Vanessa, I have to talk to you about The Devil Wears Prada.
26:34I went on Friday, every seat is full and they are screaming.
26:38And when you come up, the most beautiful thing, people are like...
26:42I was sitting next to somebody who was, like, in tears, screaming, standing up.
26:47It's a thing. It's like a rock concert.
26:49Yeah. Describe the show, just for anyone who doesn't know.
26:52Well, there's a young girl named Andy Sachs, who is a journalist, based on a true story.
26:57And, um, she lives in New York.
27:00She applies for a job at Runway Magazine, which is a very famous fashion magazine,
27:06a.k.a. Vogue.
27:07Mm-hm.
27:08And she has no idea who Miranda Priestly is, nor her reputation.
27:11And she gets the job as the assistant.
27:14And now they're doing a sequel to the movie.
27:16I know. Wow.
27:17So who knows what's going to happen this time.
27:19Wow. There's much excitement.
27:20Yeah.
27:21Let's have a clip of The Devil Wears Proud of Star.
27:25Oh, my God.
27:26What if I don't want this life?
27:28Everybody wants to be us.
27:31The Devil Wears Proud, The Devil Wears Proud, The Devil Wears Proud,
27:41The Devil Wears Proud, The Devil Wears Proud.
27:47That's all.
27:49That's all.
27:51Wow.
27:51Wow.
27:53What a fun role to play.
27:55You must love it.
27:56It's fun.
27:57I can show up and be in a bad mood and not care, because I can just be miserable the
28:01whole time.
28:02Yeah.
28:02And it doesn't matter.
28:03It just makes the role better.
28:04But, you know, I have to say, it's...
28:07I love this country, and I got a chance to meet the king.
28:11Like, you know, I've done things not just as a tourist and not just
28:15as a working actor.
28:17But these extraordinary experiences, you know, I did The Royal Variety Show.
28:21I mean, it's been...
28:22It's been heaven.
28:23How much fun was it working with Elton?
28:26Oh, my God.
28:27I mean, not only is he a legend and, you know, growing up listening to his music
28:31and going to his house in Windsor.
28:33Again, another opportunity that, you know, a normal tourist would never get.
28:38You know, tons of fresh...
28:43You are living the life.
28:45He is so honest.
28:47That's what I love about him.
28:48He's so frank.
28:49And the first time I met him, we were doing the workshop in January 2024,
28:54and he had just had his first knee surgery.
28:57And I walked into the rehearsal room and his sweats were down by his ankles
29:02and he was showing everybody his scar, but all I saw was his bum.
29:05I was like, yeah, OK, good.
29:06Yeah, we're going to be friends.
29:09What about the dressing rooms?
29:11The difference between Broadway, if you like, and the West End?
29:13On Broadway, you can choose your...
29:16Well, you can choose your paint colour and...
29:18Shut up.
29:18Yeah, stop.
29:20Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:21Dark teal.
29:22Yeah.
29:23Trudy.
29:24A little bit of dark teal.
29:26Yes.
29:26Yeah.
29:27Is that coffee?
29:28Mocha?
29:28Mocha?
29:29I don't like colours being called after drinks.
29:32That's the...
29:33Oh, it's Trudy for hard work, isn't she?
29:37Should we give Trudy to you, James?
29:39I'm quite frightened of Trudy now.
29:41It's not a good, nice cognac.
29:42Well, cognac's beautiful to drink, obviously.
29:44But, um, yeah, we just had an old-fashioned before we came on.
29:49Ah!
29:49Good girl!
29:50Good girl!
29:52Um, this is what I love, Vanessa.
29:55I'm just sharing this with the group.
29:56You have something rather special on your rider, and it is a dog.
30:01Now, I agree.
30:02When you look at Vanessa, beautiful, like, sort of, absolutely gorgeous,
30:07that bone structure, you think, small, a little, like a powder puff of a dog,
30:11on a top of a cushion.
30:13Yeah?
30:14Ladies and gentlemen, meet Roscoe.
30:16Yeah!
30:17Oh, wow!
30:18Wow.
30:19There he is.
30:20Roscoe.
30:21Is that a great day?
30:22Yeah.
30:23Beautiful.
30:24So beautiful.
30:25And he comes to every show.
30:29Yeah, he's got his giant bed next to my make-up table.
30:32Look at him!
30:33He's amazing.
30:34He's enormous.
30:35He's a great Dane?
30:36He's a great Dane.
30:37I had a great Dane.
30:38Did you?
30:38Can't remember his name.
30:39But, uh...
30:41LAUGHTER
30:43It's a joke, it's a proper joke, it's a joke.
30:45What's his name?
30:46Roscoe.
30:47Like, Roscoe Chicken and Waffles.
30:48I love Roscoe Chicken and Waffles.
30:50Roscoe Chicken and Waffles.
30:51You didn't know Roscoe Brown, did you?
30:53I didn't know who he was, but it wasn't...
30:55What's going on?
30:56I don't know.
30:56I saw Roscoe Brown.
30:57I don't know.
30:58An Anford Wilson play, you know.
30:59I want my ham.
31:01I want my ham.
31:02Two trains running.
31:03I saw Roscoe Brown.
31:05Anyway.
31:05It does feel sometimes like I'm in a nursing home.
31:10LAUGHTER
31:11LAUGHTER
31:13I'm joking.
31:14That was the best thing in league ever.
31:17There was a few moments when there was this talk of this Roscoe fan,
31:21Bella that nobody knew except you guys knew him very well.
31:24Chicken and Waffles and the dog and the cognac.
31:29LAUGHTER
31:30Gosh, I am older than I realise.
31:33So, to be clear, you have Roscoe, you have Woody,
31:37you love your dog.
31:38We have Woody, so we have three dogs.
31:40You have a dog?
31:41Of course I have a dog.
31:42I breastfeed him.
31:44I...
31:44LAUGHTER
31:46Now, that's what I do.
31:48Tom, you, I believe, you're on the fence regarding a dog.
31:51I would love a dog, but I worry about having a dog
31:53because I'm away a lot and they're obviously a big responsibility,
31:57but I would like a dog.
31:58Shall we tip the scales?
32:00Well, yeah, I'd like that.
32:01Are you ready to meet a dog?
32:03Oh, my God.
32:04Please welcome Percy.
32:16This is Heather who owns Percy.
32:19Look, how can you not?
32:20I will, I will.
32:22What do you think?
32:23I love him.
32:24I gave him a biscuit so he's happy.
32:27Oh, look, Percy loves you.
32:29Hang on, I feel like this isn't fair.
32:30You've got treats for him.
32:32He's never got...
32:32Oh, Percy, would you like a little treat?
32:35Do you like a little treat?
32:37Come on, then.
32:37Come on.
32:38Sit on, this is Tom.
32:39No, I'm never.
32:40He's more interested in you.
32:41This is the story of my life.
32:42I mean, he's just, yeah, got to stand the dog.
32:44Come on, come on.
32:45He's seven.
32:47Look, he's taken to you, look at that.
32:49Oh, hi.
32:51You're a good boy.
32:52Yeah, I love you.
32:53You want to go and live with me?
32:54You want to come and live with me?
32:55You can have a dog like that.
32:56I don't know whether you can take this dog.
32:59He's your dog, he's your dog.
33:01OK, he needs to leave.
33:02Thank you so much.
33:03Thank you, Percy.
33:04Thank you, Heather.
33:04Come on.
33:05Nice to meet you.
33:06Yes, you're right.
33:07Hi, Percy.
33:08You got attached to it already.
33:10What do you think?
33:11I don't think he actually liked me that much.
33:13Don't take it on lightly unless you can commit to a lifelong
33:17responsibility.
33:18You're right.
33:18And I spend a lot of money on furniture,
33:21so will they...
33:21I don't want them weeing up against it.
33:24Thank you so much.
33:25So, Vanessa, Devil Wears Prada is on until when and where, please?
33:30We are at the Dominion Theatre.
33:32I am going to be there till October 17th and the show will run definitely until next year.
33:38OK, good.
33:46I commit right now to attend every show until you're out of it.
33:49I'm going to be at every show.
33:51When you're not in Wolverhampton, having a chicken wrap.
33:55Tom, you are going to musical theatre.
33:58You're about to star in Titanic.
34:00Yes, indeed.
34:00And I'm very...
34:02There we go.
34:03About to set sail.
34:05It is...
34:06Tell us all about it.
34:08Well, it is the most extraordinary show.
34:11I saw it when it first opened over here.
34:13It started in America.
34:14It's like the most ridiculous retelling of the film Titanic.
34:18And it's as though Celine Dion was actually on board the ship of dreams.
34:22And she got drunk.
34:24And this is how she remembers the story of Titanic.
34:27And it's told through her songs.
34:29So Celine Dion is the narrator in the show.
34:32So that's kind of bonkers enough as it is.
34:34And then added on to that is you've got people like me who play,
34:38you know, Rose, the Kate Winslet character.
34:41Her mother is Ruth and that's played by me.
34:43So, and not really in period dress at all.
34:47Just I have an Alice band on with some birds attached to it.
34:49Don't ask why, just enjoy it.
34:51And it's just such bonkers fun.
34:53We're all coming.
34:54Well, I think you would all love it.
34:56I think there's something about it that's just kind of out of this world.
34:59It's just joy.
34:59Just joy for a couple of hours.
35:01You can't wait.
35:01Where's it on?
35:02It's on at the Criterion Theatre.
35:05And I'm in it until the 12th of April,
35:07but it's booking through until, until June.
35:09We can't wait to sit. Thank you.
35:11Well, I've got to thank you one person.
35:13APPLAUSE
35:14He is coming.
35:15LAUGHTER
35:17Tom, is it true that your theatre is haunted?
35:20Well, they say there's a man in the circle who sometimes walks across,
35:24and I thought I saw him, but it turned out it was just the lighting man.
35:28LAUGHTER
35:28There, um, I think there are, there are stories about him there,
35:31but the more you look for him, I think the less he's going to appear, right?
35:34It's like, it's like a husband, isn't it?
35:37LAUGHTER
35:38Yeah, there's supposed to be one in the Dominion.
35:40Her name is Eleanor.
35:42She was, uh, like 10 years old, and there used to be some giant beer vat
35:46or some kind of brewery in the, in the bottom, and there was an explosion,
35:50and beer apparently flooded that whole Tottenham Court area.
35:55No.
35:55And this was a young girl that died in this flood of beer,
35:58and she is a 10-year-old, uh, girl.
36:03Drunk. Absolute drunk.
36:04LAUGHTER
36:05Stumbling to the hallway.
36:06Stumbling around.
36:08LAUGHTER
36:09The Drury Lane Theatre, there used to be just the bottom half
36:13of a man sitting in a seat sometimes.
36:15Ooh! No!
36:16Yes! No!
36:17Would you like to chat to somebody who converses with ghosts?
36:20Yes! Yes!
36:22Maxine, hello.
36:24Hello. Hello.
36:25What is your advice to Tom?
36:27He's going to be performing, singing.
36:30He looks up to the circle.
36:32Should he bow?
36:33What happens when you see?
36:35When you see them.
36:35I think if you want to see this ghost, you can ask.
36:40I mean, they will reveal themselves to you.
36:43Spirit, if you ask.
36:44When you say reveal themselves.
36:46As in show...
36:48Um, as in show their spirit body.
36:51Oh, my goodness.
36:53Should I be on my own when I ask, or...?
36:55Well, I don't think that matters, really.
36:58Doesn't the ghost doesn't matter.
36:58It doesn't matter.
36:59I just think the cleaner is sometimes there, so...
37:02LAUGHTER
37:03How brave are you feeling?
37:04Are you happy to see them if they appear in front of you?
37:07Well, I suppose, how do you know if they're a malevolent spirit?
37:10Well, you know, you're a good chap, aren't you?
37:13I mean, you know, generally...
37:14You'd be really bitchy about your performance.
37:15Yeah, like, oh, bitchy!
37:18If you're the kind of person that's not got a good energy yourself,
37:23you know, you're kind of an evil person, you're acting in...
37:26No, no, he's very charming.
37:27No, I know, I know.
37:28But if you were, you can then attract beings that aren't so nice.
37:33Well, it seems like a lot of pressure now.
37:35LAUGHTER
37:36Will you let us know, please?
37:38Well, I will, but not if it's a bad spirit,
37:41because it will reflect terribly badly on me.
37:43It will be like a parent, a parent's evening, like,
37:46I did my best!
37:48LAUGHTER
37:49When was the last time you spoke to a spirit?
37:52Um, yesterday.
37:54I did a reading for somebody and I see them and they talk to me.
37:58Wow. Is there anyone here?
38:00I'm not working right now, and I think that's the misconception...
38:03Oh, I like the way you just clock on and clock on.
38:05LAUGHTER
38:06APPLAUSE
38:15It's a union thing, I get it, it's a union thing, it's a union thing.
38:19Exactly. Hey, you know, in this life, you turned it to an angle,
38:22you know who you look like?
38:23Go on. Go on.
38:24Very young, handsome John Travolta.
38:26Yes, correct, correct!
38:29Wow.
38:30Correct!
38:31Until I was just sitting here a moment ago, when you were talking to the spirit lady.
38:35Yes.
38:35Oh, my goodness, and I was possessed by the spirit
38:38of John Travolta since he shaved his head.
38:43Tom, you have also written a very brilliant book.
38:46Oh.
38:46It's a novel, your first novel.
38:49My first novel, yes.
38:50Uh, Common Decency, tell us all about it, please.
38:53Well, I've written two non-fiction books about myself, and this is the first time I've created
38:57a world and some characters to inhabit it. And I wanted to write about suburbia, because I think
39:03it's a sort of boring place that everybody ignores, but actually I've realised that's where all drama
39:08happens. But it's about the sort of secrets and lies that exist in our kind of otherwise quite
39:13mundane lives. So I wanted to... I just, I like the idea of kind of... Well, I live in suburbia
39:18now,
39:18I live in Bromley, which is kind of archetypally suburban, and I like... And I'm on a WhatsApp
39:21group, and I've come to love all those trappings of, you know, people on... Do you have a WhatsApp
39:26group, you know, with your neighbours? Oh, where they all like... You know, it's supposed to be to
39:29help your neighbours, but it's just, you know, a load of, you know, idiots shouting nonsense into the wind.
39:35And how often do you ever post? No, I just like to watch it. The only time I like it
39:39is when
39:39people say they're putting out furniture on their driveway, something which I like to call street tapas.
39:46I love that! I like... You know, but I like the sort of community aspect of it.
39:54I've always enjoyed that kind of thing of it all. I'm loving your face, James.
39:59Oh, you love to run over those toads. You've put your foot down.
40:07You do WhatsApp groups? I can't... WhatsApp groups are the bane of my life.
40:13Really? I can't bear them. Can you like... Do you like a WhatsApp group?
40:16I like one of the families. I like this one, just my family is enough, but then when they start
40:21having private conversations within the WhatsApp group... Disgusting.
40:25You then get a ping and it's just a fucking emoji. I just can't bear them. Yeah.
40:32Unless it's family. Family is fine. Family is fine. And if it's... If you've got one thing,
40:36like it's a holiday or something, and then it's got its purpose, but don't mince about within it.
40:41Fine. Keep it strict. Fine. I like it.
40:47There's a character in your book that I love called Miranda. Oh, yes.
40:53We'll talk about her. Well, I've tried to write about different generations as well,
40:56because again, I like the way that people mix in the best parts of suburbia.
41:01And Miranda is somebody whose true past isn't really known.
41:05However, she is somebody who, even though she's in her 80s, wants to experience all of life.
41:10She's had a bucket list and now she has a different sort of list.
41:13You can say it. Her fuck it list. Oh.
41:15And that includes things like taking acid, because I just sort of think,
41:20if I make it to an old age, rather than sort of going out with a whimper,
41:24wouldn't it be great to experience acid or to try all those things you never thought you could try before?
41:31Why not? Dawn and I, my friend Dawn French and I, once thought we'd be really daring
41:36and we got an ecstasy tablet. Oh, goodness me.
41:39And we thought we could take... Well, I think it was something with a rabbit on it.
41:43It was about that big. And we thought, one day, I said, well, be alone.
41:48And it became such a matter of planning as to when we could take half an ecstasy tablet.
41:56And so we kept it and kept it on Dawn's mantelpiece like that.
42:00And then one day, just about six months later, and we've gone, OK, we're ready.
42:04We had water. We didn't know what to expect at all. The pill had gone.
42:16And it was quite a relief to be honest. Thank God we don't do that anymore.
42:21Yeah. No drugs for us. The dog was out in the garden jumping up and down.
42:26Having sex with the dragon. This brilliant book is out when, please?
42:31It's out on the 21st of May and you can pre-order it right now.
42:35Am I allowed to give this to Jeff? I won't keep it. I'm not keeping it.
42:38It's not like the puppy dog. I'd love you to have a coffee. Really. Here, tell me when to stop.
42:41Uh, there. Left or right? Left. Uh, tell me when to stop.
42:47Now. Uh, we all need to discuss the planning application, of course.
42:53Interrupted Donald. I assume that's what this is all about.
42:56We are going to need to take action, if the rumours are true, about changing the area.
43:00I love it. There you go. There are definitely moments of exposition. You have to realise that you have to
43:07cover it.
43:08Right. That is it. I just want to check. Do you feel like you've covered everything?
43:14Is there anything you want to sell a bit harder?
43:17I don't want to sell anything more, but I have not covered even the tip of the iceberg.
43:22LAUGHTER
43:23No. Jeff, I've got to go night-night. I never thought I'd say that to a guest.
43:28Not tonight, on another occasion. No, please.
43:30Because my curiosity has been inflamed by this audience, by you, and by this group.
43:36My God. Tom. Anything else?
43:38Um, I went to buy rotisserie chicken yesterday for lunch, and they'd sold out before lunchtime.
43:45Who is having a rotisserie chicken for breakfast?
43:49Some people are perverts.
43:52Well, thank you all. We are so grateful.
43:55We are off to eat salami. Happy with that? Yeah.
43:58I love salami. Good. I would like to thank my utterly brilliant guest, Tom Allen!
44:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:04Vanessa Williams!
44:07Jennifer Saunders!
44:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:10And Jeff Goldblum!
44:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:13We are back next week, and I'll be joined by Joanne, Nally, Gus Khan and Niall Horan.
44:19Thank you so much for watching. Good night.
44:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:26The Makeover Challenge goes Olympic. RuPaul's Drag Race UK versus The World, next on BBC One.
44:32And it's all about sisterhood in their chaotic family.
44:36Meet the Walsh sisters on BBC iPlayer. Press red now.
44:40MUSIC
44:41he's got a buddy out.
44:49He's got a buddy.
44:49He's got a big klop!
44:49So I'll be good at that!
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