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00:03and you boy what are these these madam are STDs
00:10save the dates for Vivian and my wedding
00:12save the dates how many people have you given STDs to
00:19oh okay I get it STD has another meaning no one else is going to think
00:24take it oh my god
00:25everyone is going to think that will your first dance be to you give me fever
00:28are you serving crabs at the reception
00:31guys this is my way
00:32do you have burpees
00:35we love you buddy
00:36warts and all
00:37sorry I made a rash decision
00:41I have an STD
00:42so just RCP
00:44guys we're the normies this is episode 19 of season 1 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine
00:53who's here on the couch
00:54Lieutenant Chris Johnson commander
00:55kitty
00:56pat
00:57officer Daniel Surge
00:59so you weren't fast enough
01:01this is called tactical village
01:02tactical village
01:03and if it's an episode I'm thinking of it's going to be great
01:07happy tactical village day
01:09happy tactical village
01:10oh they're going to go practice at a tactical village
01:12it's the most fun day of the year
01:14something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy
01:17but my software is due for an exuberance
01:20robot jokes it kind of ruins my enjoyment of them
01:23yeah it's going to be awesome
01:27we get to field test a bunch of cool new weapons
01:29last year's was got super violent
01:31hell yeah
01:33oh a paintball episode you say
01:34oh
01:35it's also a good opportunity for us to let off steam and bond as a unit
01:39oh my god
01:41oh my god
01:42he's like come on
01:45hey
01:45oh my god
01:47hey boss
01:49Jake has been the finalist for coolest kill two years in a row
01:52all you win is a children's karate trophy
01:54you love it
01:54you desperately want it don't you
01:56so badly
01:58relatable
01:58gina the da needs copies of our interrogation transcripts from the adams case
02:02gina
02:04damn
02:05gina
02:06sorry i was playing crazy cupcakes
02:09and this little game of yours that's more interesting to you than you were
02:12yeah
02:12stop playing this inane garbage it's embarrassing
02:15i feel like holt's going to play it
02:17introducing rex buckingham
02:19british secret agent
02:20and ladies man
02:22what woman doesn't love a guy super into make believe
02:25all the acting tell me how i'm any different than george clune
02:27he has a sexy voice
02:29champagne
02:30mountain range
02:31hugs
02:33anything sexy to say
02:35mountain range is the sexiest geological feature
02:37sorry
02:38deep sea trange
02:39oh
02:40i think i'm going to go talk
02:43jesuit
02:44jesuit
02:46benny jesuit
02:47you gotta admit there's a spark
02:48how many times do i have to say it she's like a sister
02:50that's what luke said about leia
02:53your babysitter's busy the night of boy's wedding
02:56wait
02:56boyl set a date already
02:57yeah he gave out save the date yesterday
03:00i think he's been avoiding me
03:01hey
03:03hey
03:05whoa
03:07well maybe vivian was uncomfortable with you coming
03:10but boyl was in love with you until a few weeks ago
03:12and now they have to save a date
03:13i'm not angry
03:14i think it's funny
03:16uh
03:18terrible
03:20i knew he was gonna play it
03:22no
03:22are you playing crazy cupcakes
03:24thank you gina
03:25dismissed
03:26what you doing in here
03:29i may have been playing
03:31you don't have to tell her
03:32crazy cupcakes
03:33i think we're past the point of you being too proud to say the w
03:41i don't think i'll have any problem resisting this silly game
03:45i've deleted the application there
03:49does this mean i've lost my progress
03:51well it doesn't matter
03:52because
03:53i'm done
03:53the night nine is in the village
03:56hey ronnie
03:57they upgraded you from bystander to perp
03:59to blow your brains out
04:01amy santiago
04:02teddy
04:03oh this guy
04:04i don't know for other shit
04:05i wonder if i get paid to be perp
04:07i'm with 8-2 now
04:08quick
04:0810-54 L
04:10ambulance case
04:11severed limb
04:13teddy and i met at code camp
04:15it was a voluntary refresher course on police code
04:17some long nights of intense memorizing
04:21great seeing you
04:22you too
04:22who's that guy
04:23that was teddy
04:24we went on like five dates last year
04:26sort of fizzled
04:26right that's the guy you said the lame stuff about
04:29like he's a good listener
04:31i'm so weird that amy dated that guy
04:33why do you care so much
04:46that's a sick ass gun
04:50around the corner oh my god i want to shoot that
04:5210-51
04:53roving gang specified direction of travel and number and group
04:5610-69 that's easy message received and simultaneously given
05:00amy right
05:02so uh they got the new handguns in you want to check them out
05:06totally
05:06of course
05:07i thought he was talking to me
05:08and he clearly was chop chop ted
05:10let's roll
05:12you're being cock-blocked
05:13it emits a focus beam of sound which can disorient and even incapacitate a person
05:18whoo
05:19so it's the trigger
05:20yes but you want to be careful
05:22i'm glad it would be louder
05:23it's highly directional
05:24if you were pointed at you you'd be in incredible pain right now
05:27why are you doing this oh stop it rosa
05:30why are you doing this oh stop it rosa
05:31why are you happening i can taste it
05:32oh my god oh pretty cool
05:38that is kind of cool that is dope
05:40i've got the use against 11
05:43those are some disgusting
05:44oh my god turn the sound off
05:47i think you might have a little bit of a problem here boo
05:49boo
05:51you should leave this is miserable
05:53it is now a liar's death
05:57i have given you a direct order to leave
05:59i want to play crazy cupcakes
06:03crazy cupcakes
06:04crazy is a difficult word to say in anger
06:08i know you're pissed at boy
06:10shooting him with that sonic cannon was an accident
06:12it's not just that
06:36that's the way to do it
06:41how you can talk to all of you
06:43that was majestic
06:44what don't tell me old buckingham is the only chap here with a signature move
06:48i'm working on a thing where
06:49i release my mag
06:50and drop kick it straight into someone's throat
06:53my buttholes
06:54what what
06:56he's got two buttholes
06:57remember he got a shot
06:58oh yeah
06:59first few episodes
07:01hold your gun sideways to look cool
07:02what if you have your gun upside down
07:04oh yeah honestly
07:05interesting
07:06it has a better grip that way
07:07maybe
07:08how'd it go
07:09that's a brag but i think we just set an nypd course record for time
07:11definitely a brag
07:12hey good luck in there
07:13so awkward jakes
07:15what's standing right in the middle of that
07:16yeah
07:16this is how it's going down
07:17what happened to your accent rex
07:19forget that crap we're taking this seriously
07:20break that course record and be the best precinct here
07:22ready
07:22break that course record
07:23you shit up
07:27you're clear for maximum engagement
07:29what is this jurassic park the ride
07:35scully i want you to do nothing
07:37just stand next to me and say yes sarge
07:39okay sarge
07:40come on
07:46let's go nine nine
07:48captain captain you have a serious problem now
07:50the roles are reversed
07:52captain
07:52sorry i'm just about to enter sprinkle city
07:55they take the game into these idiotic worlds
07:57to give you some false sense of progress
08:01that's so true
08:03that's so true
08:04i started playing canyon crutch again a couple years ago
08:06and that stupid fucking game that goes this way
08:08whatever it's called
08:09this game has started to affect my work
08:10i was three enforcement places
08:17that shit was great
08:20do you know i love milk but it hurts my stomach
08:23so i haven't had milk a beverage i love for 19 years
08:25and i can't quit crazy cupcakes
08:28it's a dopamine rush man
08:30it's algorithmically designed to hook you
08:32crazy cupcakes
08:33i love that game
08:35we have so much in common
08:37oh well this will do it
08:39look at that i'm curious
08:41he's following the garbage
08:43you gotta shoot the bystanders too
08:45what are you guys doing
08:45no you're a bat cop
08:47they go one by one
08:49i really want to do something like this
08:50this will be so fun
08:51okay only three purpose left
08:53we got intel there's a hostage in room 409
08:56look out
08:59come on
08:59that was close
09:01okay here goes
09:02i'm pissed at you
09:03no right now
09:04you didn't invite me to your wedding
09:05i hurt my feelings
09:06vivian thought it might be weird
09:07to invite you because i used to be
09:08all consumed by my passion of love for you
09:13hey thanks for shooting that guy
09:14my pleasure
09:14this was a human being you just killed
09:16bill perp had a family
09:18bill perp
09:19he came up with a backstory
09:20we only have a minute 12 to beat the record
09:22don't worry i have a plan on how to beat them
09:24give up
09:25let the hostages go and take me instead
09:27slowly put them upside down shot
09:29slowly put them up
09:31oh
09:34that's hot
09:35well done
09:37elderly leader
09:38he is sick
09:39can we sign up to be perp
09:42we just do it ourselves guys
09:44oh you can sign up to be like drunk
09:45they give you alcohol to be drunk
09:47and so they can do those field tests on you
09:50yeah there's a lot of stuff you can do
09:51man i feel so good
09:52it almost makes me want to start taking things seriously all the time
09:55my boobs fart boobs whatever
09:59actually teddy asked me to get dinner so
10:02meet up with you guys afterwards
10:04neat
10:04neat
10:09he is such a good cop though for real
10:11i say this like every other episode
10:12we really want you to come to the wedding
10:14she said okay
10:14give her an std
10:16std stands for sexually transmitted disease
10:17it is however very expensive to reprint those cards
10:20so we're leaning into it
10:21will you accept my std
10:27congratulations everyone on a perfect run
10:29and a new course record
10:31and congratulations to you captain
10:33on beating your crazy cupcakes addiction
10:35oh you found out about that
10:37i had to tell him it's my nature
10:39you help me
10:40it's my nature
10:41they're besties too don't forget
10:46technology has evolved in the past
10:48yeah i don't know i think it's just bright and stupid
10:52it's so fun
10:52it's a time passer you know it's just nice
10:55it's so fun
10:56but then you get in the microtransactions
10:58i'm sad
10:59i never thought you'd do microtransactions
11:01you end up 500 in the hole
11:03i guess he's okay looking
11:04he's a good cop
11:05also he set the course record but that's nothing
11:07i broke it like 20 minutes later
11:09you want to know why she went out with him and not you
11:11because he actually asked her out
11:12yeah whoa
11:14your logic is sound boil
11:15what's up now i'm here to celebrate with the team
11:18thank you for inviting me to your wedding
11:20well chuck told me you were going to be out of town that weekend
11:22and then you know he just told me that your plans changed so
11:24oh it wasn't vivian after all
11:38it ain't gonna work out between them
11:40oh this guy
11:41it turns out anyone can just buy themselves a children's karate trophy
11:46smart
11:46i wanted to ask you something
11:48bad move
11:49are you wearing lipstick
11:50yeah i'm going out with teddy again
11:53i called my 13 year old niece for makeup tips
11:55i don't know if i trust her she is so sexual
11:59god what
11:59so what's up
12:00it's not important
12:01i just had a question about a work thing
12:03and we'll talk tomorrow
12:04i'll help you with your work stuff cheeky
12:06perfect
12:10question
12:11for you sitcom lovers
12:13yeah
12:14is a will they won't they like a staple of sitcoms
12:17yes
12:17like everything
12:19how i met your mother
12:21friends
12:21all of them
12:22sign all of them
12:23boy will not work out
12:24i mean yeah
12:25you need to
12:26you need
12:27first of all
12:27just to speak really on it
12:28i feel like you need to live with someone a little bit before you marry them
12:32yep
12:33you're just gonna marry them after a few weeks sure you know
12:35that's what me and Marquette did
12:37they did
12:37yeah right
12:38judge them
12:39no we just married
12:39judge them
12:39straight into it
12:41we didn't live together
12:41no what
12:42we didn't live together
12:43no they were married when they were living together
12:44by the way we never lived in sin
12:46that's why you don't like his socks
12:48you never lived in sin
12:49literally they met and married within six months
12:52you guys are the outlier
12:54we're the only ones who did it right
12:55we didn't have a baby properly
12:57yeah
12:57traditional marriage
12:58i mean bricky and herping never lived together
13:00and they got married and they happily arrived after
13:03for real
13:03i thought you guys lived together
13:04indian people don't count either
13:07their parents will do church shit to let them live together
13:09that's like you're in the end of the couch
13:10because they literally
13:11their parents won't let them live together
13:14but no no no
13:14i actually
13:15i see what you mean
13:16and i do legitimately agree with you
13:17but no i was just because like i uh i you know i've seen a lot of sitcoms
13:22sitcoms
13:22sitcoms
13:23oh one of the best jokes ever
13:25ever
13:26just like the will they won't they is just like so ingrained into the fiber of it
13:31i would have thought that after all this time that a modern day sitcom might be like
13:35maybe we won't but
13:37i mean that's what's
13:38maybe maybe there will be one
13:39i guess this is not a modern day
13:40so what is a modern day right now that's going on
13:44abbott elementary
13:45schitt's creek schitt's creek had a will they won't date too
13:48with alexis and
13:49abbott elementary did too
13:50and patrick
13:51i mean even pat yeah pat and david
13:52that was it
13:53i think it is it is a part of it
13:56because i think with so much is going on
13:58it's just like side storyline
14:00that will have its own episodes
14:02and it will continue to be side
14:03like ross and rachel thing was such a big deal in friends
14:07oh i got one
14:07i got one that's a modern day that didn't have a will they won't they
14:11modern family
14:13did not have that
14:14because they are all only family
14:15yeah
14:16but didn't the kids have any will they won't they
14:18no
14:18no
14:19yeah dylan and uh fucking the oldest daughter
14:21they actually got together though
14:22they were together
14:23it was like a will they won't they
14:24they broke up multiple times
14:25but that's teenagers
14:26teenagers break up
14:27the older like
14:27yeah dylan and
14:28and his oldest daughter
14:30boyfriend dylan
14:31that doesn't really count
14:31that doesn't really count
14:32because dylan was never a part of the whole
14:35it was a will they won't they
14:36i mean
14:36i mean if you care about those characters
14:38but they're like
14:38we weren't following their story
14:40and they're teenagers and stuff
14:41like we were following your story like lightly
14:43i count that
14:44it was like a b
14:45because dylan wasn't part of the whole group
14:47if he was there from very beginning
14:49then it would be like
14:50oh will they won't they
14:51pat from schitt's creek
14:52wasn't a part of the group from the beginning
14:53but that
14:54there was never will they won't they
14:55they would got together right away
14:56they didn't
14:57like alexis and ted
14:59were more so will they won't they
15:01because ted was apart for a while
15:03well
15:04patrick and them like
15:05you know it took them about two episodes
15:06it's not just sitcoms
15:08i think it's like
15:08really any show or series
15:10that's not like
15:11a breaking bad
15:12or
15:13or like
15:13soprano's level of drama
15:16most shows have a
15:17will they won't they
15:18i think
15:18soprano's got furio in there
15:22that's a win they win they
15:23i just
15:24i was just asking
15:26because it's like
15:27it's one of those shows
15:28that people make fun of sitcoms for
15:30that
15:31and like i never watched
15:32like a ton ton of sitcoms
15:33growing up
15:34i watched enough
15:34but not a lot
15:35and i always thought that it was like
15:36kind of a cliche that maybe people were over
15:38but
15:39because it's here for so long
15:40i think it's like
15:41here to stay forever
15:42it's just
15:42a part of the genre
15:44my theoretical theory of thierenheim
15:46is
15:46when you watch a movie
15:48you have an hour and a half to two hours
15:49to
15:50to show a romance
15:51when you watch a show
15:53you have
15:53possibly years
15:5520
15:56maybe 15
15:5610 episodes even
15:57but
15:58told over years
15:59to where you really feel like
16:00you're living with those characters
16:02so those romances
16:03feel more realistic
16:04so like with your jim and pams
16:06like is
16:07it's so much more satisfying
16:08when a tv show romance
16:10comes to fruition
16:11yeah
16:12which i think is why
16:13it's utilized so much
16:14in this medium
16:15sitcoms to fruition
16:16sitcoms
16:17no
16:17for sure
16:19because then it also
16:20builds those characters up
16:21and you kind of like
16:22know like
16:23having a conversation about like
16:24i'm gonna bring up friends
16:26like just
16:26the idea of like
16:27oh ross
16:28like were they on break or not
16:29like it's such a big deal
16:30because you know those characters
16:32you can like go in nuances
16:34they were on a fucking
16:35three hour break
16:36and he immediately stuck his dick
16:37in something else
16:38bitch give it a second
16:39hey
16:39that's because my mans
16:40don't fuck around
16:41he said a break is a break
16:42if you don't want to go on a break
16:43oh she gave me a break
16:44let me go
16:45let me go
16:45let me go
16:46who are you talking about
16:46hey
16:47don't say we on a break then
16:48why are you saying a break then
16:49right
16:49if you don't want me to fuck
16:50what are you talking about
16:51maybe we're just out of anger
16:53and everything
16:53maybe we're gonna talk in an hour
16:54after
16:54you better know that words got weight
16:56and that weight is this big
16:57because like an hour later
16:58you don't touch your brain
16:59oh I'm so sorry
17:00I said I was out of anger
17:01we were really heated in that moment
17:02you know what
17:02if it was three hours
17:03then Ross isn't
17:05efficient
17:05that's right
17:06efficient
17:06I can't be mad at a man
17:08for efficiency
17:09you know what she could've did
17:10it was Rachel right
17:11Rachel could've got out
17:12and got her some strings
17:13but instead
17:13she was sitting in her feelings
17:14being all mad about some shit
17:16that they got saying
17:16instead of getting it done
17:18but like who was this
17:19was someone Ross was already
17:20talking to
17:21no
17:23why are we talking about friends
17:26we are talking about friends
17:27it's fine
17:28the fact that you guys
17:29think that a heated argument
17:30you can go to something
17:31immediately is crazy
17:32give it a fucking day
17:33it's a soul buddy
17:34it was like we all know
17:35when we say
17:36they were on a better day
17:37we know
17:39but like I think
17:40answering your question Chris
17:41yeah it's a part
17:42it would be weird
17:43to watch a whole sitcom
17:44and not have
17:46like what about the workaholics
17:48they didn't have
17:49but workaholics is more like
17:51I guess it's not sitcoms
17:52it's more like
17:53Always Sunny
17:54like it's not really
17:55a sketch comedy
17:56yeah it's like
17:57it's kind of a teardown
17:58of sitcoms
17:58yeah like there's no
17:59will they won't they
18:00in South Park
18:00I um
18:02it's like
18:03part of the reason why
18:04when a show is past
18:05it's prime
18:06you'll like still watch it
18:07sometimes
18:08cause you just care
18:09you've already been
18:10on this journey
18:10with the characters
18:11so you're like
18:12I'm just curious
18:12where the characters
18:13are gonna end up
18:14granted I have dropped
18:15some shows over the years
18:16I never finished Shameless
18:17I haven't finished Supernatural
18:19it had a few years
18:20and then the end
18:21I think Shameless was more
18:22of like kind of a drama
18:23right
18:24if there's boobs in it
18:25I consider it a prime time drama
18:27yeah there's boobs in it
18:28I know
18:28but like there's some
18:29will they won't
18:29there's just like
18:30just the concept of
18:31following characters
18:32over the years
18:32enough to like
18:33you'll watch the show
18:34even when you know
18:35it's past its prime
18:36weeds
18:37weeds
18:37deep weeds
18:39just last
18:40this episode was good
18:40I enjoyed it
18:41I thought the
18:42the shoot house stuff
18:43was fun
18:43and we can set it up
18:45ourselves guys
18:45I'll set us up one
18:46I'm down
18:47pinball I know a spot
18:48Pat you're gonna shoot
18:49someone in the face
18:50no I won't bro
18:51I got a good aim
18:51we're all gonna wear a helmet
18:52so Pat doesn't shoot us
18:53in the face
18:55it was blue right here
18:57why don't we just do
18:58laser tag
18:58no paintballs
18:59but you're not allowed
19:00to freeze the paintballs
19:01obviously
19:02it's weird that you have
19:03to say that out loud
19:04bro I went paintballing
19:05one time at Gatorzone
19:06motherfuckers brought
19:06frozen paintballs
19:07that shit hurts
19:08I have a question
19:09were these guys
19:09fight boys
19:10yes
19:12stop it guys
19:15yeah we should do
19:16something like
19:17watching laser tag
19:18from Sunny
19:19and this one
19:20and we have done
19:21the nerf guns thing
19:22before
19:22we have so many
19:23nerf guns here
19:24it will be fun
19:25but it's hard to count
19:26but with the paintballs
19:27you don't know
19:28who actually got hit
19:28it was fun skin
19:30but guys
19:31we're gonna jump in
19:32next one
19:32keep an eye out
19:33if you do end up
19:34doing this experience
19:35I have a vlog
19:35if not we'll see you
19:36later
19:37bye
19:37bye
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