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Watch The Madison Season 1 Episode 5 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:05Previously on the Madison
00:10He wanted to be buried here
00:11There's a spot marked on a map
00:13I know this spot
00:15I can't remember his face
00:17If I were you, I wouldn't listen
00:20Play it
00:22Jesus, fuck
00:24Just hold on
00:24Wait
00:26Stacey
00:27Oh my god
00:30I'm gonna die
00:33As much as I like sitting here
00:34It hurts more than you'll ever know
00:36So if you're wondering how I feel about you
00:38I feel enough to sit here and take it
00:40Abby, if I were you
00:42I would set my hooks pretty deep in that one
00:45They're not making any more men like him
00:52I wonder if you know how happy this would make him
00:56It would fill his heart
00:59Tomorrow, we bury them
01:02I don't know how happy this would make him
01:04I don't know how happy this would make him
01:05I don't know how happy this would make him
01:11I don't know how happy this would make him
01:16I don't know how happy this would make him
01:17I don't know how happy this would make him
01:18I don't know how happy this would make him
01:18I don't know how happy this would make him
01:20I don't know how happy this would make him
01:21I don't know how happy this would make him
01:21I don't know how happy this would make him
01:23I don't know how happy this would make him
01:25I don't know how happy this would make him
02:32That's an elk track right there.
02:34Oh. Oh. Look, there's another one.
02:38No, that's a moose.
02:41How can you tell the difference?
02:43If you spend enough time tracking, you just know.
02:47Oh.
02:50So, do you have any questions about today?
02:55Like what?
02:57Well, I'm asking you.
03:00Well, you're going to bury them.
03:02We are.
03:03Then what happens?
03:07Then they return to the land.
03:11And their bodies become a part of it.
03:15And their souls, too, I guess.
03:19They don't go to heaven?
03:22I think this is their heaven.
03:26Heaven is...
03:29Oh, how do I explain this?
03:30Our teacher says there is no heaven.
03:33You know, I don't know if you've already figured this out, but do not believe everything your teacher says.
03:36Heaven is your perfect place.
03:43For some, it's ice cream oceans and marshmallow mountains.
03:49And others, it's these mountains.
03:54Does that make sense?
03:57And Grandpa's heaven is here.
04:00I think so.
04:02But if you think he's here, why is everyone so sad he's gone?
04:07Well, his heaven isn't mine.
04:10And...
04:12Well, I can't see him.
04:13And I can't talk to him.
04:16And I can't hug him.
04:17And he can't hug me.
04:18And I miss that.
04:21Yeah.
04:22I miss it, too.
04:24But that's why we have memories.
04:27We can revisit all those times that we did have.
04:32All the talks, all the laughs, all the hugs, and...
04:37You know, it's like a movie.
04:38We can...
04:40We can play it over and over as many times as we want.
04:46You know, in our minds.
04:48You know what I mean?
04:49I do.
04:52Not the same, though.
04:54As a real hug.
04:55No.
04:56It's not the same.
05:19Right here.
05:20Yep.
05:22How the hell are we going to get the caskets here?
05:25Swents can still feed off a wagon, don't they?
05:27That's a good idea.
05:30You want to call or run for shovels?
05:32Nah, you call.
05:32I'll run.
05:34My gelding's just going to follow you.
05:37Yank off that bridle.
05:39Yeah.
05:43A girl's volleyball will survive the week without her.
05:47Yes, you are correct.
05:49I am not factoring how this affects anyone else, even a little.
05:52It's cool.
05:53Fuck.
05:54It's cool.
05:55Is this going to be okay?
05:58This is going to have to do, honey.
05:59It's all you got.
06:01Hey.
06:05It's just us.
06:07Okay?
06:07There's nobody.
06:15Hey.
06:16Hey.
06:24Where'd you find cream?
06:25Same shopping center where I found the dress.
06:28I got to say, Bozeman impressed me.
06:31Didn't say.
06:33He just said it was handled.
06:36About two hours.
06:39Preston wrote a chapter on telling time from the son's position.
06:45It's alarmingly accurate.
06:49The girls asked me to arrange a plane.
06:54When?
06:56Tonight.
06:56Oh.
06:58Okay.
06:59They need closure, honey.
07:01They won't get it here.
07:03They have lives, and they need to go live them.
07:06I would very much like to plan a memorial service.
07:09He has a lot of friends that deserve a way to say goodbye.
07:12Does he?
07:13He does.
07:14And you know that.
07:16We could do it at the Explorer's Club.
07:18Okay, just have at the apartment.
07:22Have Corbon.
07:24Cater.
07:25They love that place.
07:27I already called.
07:28You find back, too.
07:33I have a very worried husband.
07:36He's convinced some distant cousin of the Unabomber's going to abduct me and hold me in his basement for ransom.
07:42Depending on the cousin, I'm not completely opposed.
07:45Of course, that's my warped romance novel version of abduction.
07:49I doubt that's how it would play out, Lily.
07:51That is how it would play out in my mind after two Percocets.
07:55You think I'm joking.
07:57No.
08:03I love you.
08:09There is nowhere I would rather be than with you when you need me.
08:12I know.
08:18I have a little bottle of Kahlua if you would like some lead in that coffee.
08:21Oh, well, now you're talking.
08:45I know you're talking about what?
09:28Of course you pack the perfect dress.
09:37Is there some little black dress tree by the river that I am unaware of?
09:44Okay, girls.
09:47And Russell.
10:30Where are they?
10:32Uh, Carmen.
10:36Sorry.
10:39Sorry, but it's not...
10:43That's fine.
10:50I'm sorry, Aaron, you'll ever know.
10:54Let's go.
10:56Yeah.
10:56You whatnot, you know where you're at?
11:01I think I'm going to get a couple more...
11:17Say prayers.
11:19I'm not
11:19successful.
11:23I think I'll pull a ring引ESS.
11:26Okay, boy.
11:54Okay, boy.
12:21Okay, boy.
12:23Loss.
12:26Is a preacher coming?
12:31I forgot, I forgot.
12:33Uh, this one will be San's preacher.
12:38What's that mean?
12:39It means we don't have one.
12:42Do you have someone to govern the proceedings?
12:46We, um, this is my first funeral here,
12:50so we're sort of winging it.
12:54Well, this is far from my first rodeo.
12:57Do you mind if I say something first
13:00and then give you all a chance to speak?
13:02I don't think my group has many speeches in them.
13:08Do you mind a prayer?
13:10I do not.
13:21Lord, we stand before you with heavy hearts.
13:25With the glory of love comes the pain of loss,
13:28and we look to you for comfort.
13:31Remind us that it is a selfish pain
13:35because you have promised a place called heaven
13:37where our departed bask in the glow of your grace.
13:41Lord Jesus, they are no longer men.
13:44They are angels who guide us through darkness,
13:48lift us when we are weak,
13:50and nourish our souls and spirits.
13:53Our pain is a selfish pain
13:56because we do not know this place heaven.
13:59We lean on our faith that it exists,
14:02and on your mercy,
14:05that it holds a place for us
14:07where we may sit in your light
14:09beside our loved ones
14:11and know only joy forever.
14:17Amen.
14:19If anyone would like a word.
14:24Stacy, it's not the first time
14:26you've given that speech.
14:28No, ma'am.
14:30It's a good one.
14:33Do you care to say something?
14:37I have plenty to say,
14:38but I won't be saying it today.
14:49I guess that's it then.
14:54Um...
14:56So, what happens now?
14:58We take care of everything.
15:04Wait, that's it?
15:05That's it?
15:06That's it?
15:06If he has anything to say, then say it, Paige.
15:08I don't know what to say.
15:10What are you supposed to say?
15:12I think that's our point.
15:18Which one's Paul?
15:29Goddamn you for taking it from us.
15:45I love you.
16:01Everyone deals with it different, don't they, boys?
16:05I don't think they're dealing with it at all.
16:08Not yet, anyway.
16:10I don't know who can blame them.
16:25Don't let them play, they're all right.
16:28I love you.
16:29I love you.
16:30I love you, man.
16:35I love you.
16:36We can't blame them.
16:39I love you.
16:45I love you.
16:47I love you.
16:47It's not good.
16:47I love you.
16:48I love you.
16:48I love you.
16:49I love you.
17:11Pretty sneaky, trying to have a funeral and not tell anybody?
17:15Oh, I didn't know anyone would care.
17:20We let you have the funeral.
17:21We will not be denied our feast.
17:26When they decided to build these cabins, they wanted to do it all themselves.
17:31Mill the wood, frame it, roughing the electric, the whole deal.
17:35Look at the bottom of them there.
17:37They're sitting on railroad ties.
17:39And I could not figure out what in the hell purpose that would serve.
17:42And I told them they're going to be colder than the devil in winter.
17:45And every skunk and raccoon and God knows what else is going to set up shop underneath them.
17:50Well, Preston just looked at me and nodded, didn't say a word.
17:54About six months later, tax assessor comes by my place and says,
17:57Have you seen these cabins they built next door?
18:00I said, I had.
18:01And he asked me if I'd ever seen them move.
18:04I said, move, what do you mean move?
18:07Tax assessor says when he tried to put a value on them, your husband said they was mobile homes.
18:13You pick them up with a forklift and move them.
18:16And asked me if I'd ever seen them be mobile.
18:19Well, I told them, yeah, they haul them all over the place.
18:22And if you look at the back of that outhouse, your husband nailed tires from a shopping cart and said
18:28that son of a bitch was mobile, too.
18:32He did not want to pay any taxes.
18:34I wondered what those were for.
18:36Preston always had issues with authority.
18:39Wheels on outhouse.
18:40Never seen anything like it.
18:41No.
18:44Indian tacos.
18:46Good stuff.
18:48Want some?
18:49How about some of those cookies?
18:51Ah, good choice.
18:54I was thinking like three.
18:57What's your mom going to say about that?
19:00My mom's not going to say anything because she's not going to see me eat him.
19:03Let's keep this between us.
19:05I think that's a good idea.
19:20Thank you for today.
19:21It means more than you know.
19:23Someone had to do it for me.
19:25I know what it means.
19:28I'm sorry it had to be done.
19:31We're flying out tonight.
19:33Girls have missed enough school and I have exhausted my wardrobe.
19:37But...
19:41I'd like to come back.
19:44Or dare I invite you to New York?
19:47Well, the only way you'd get me to New York is if it seceded from the Union.
19:51And I was drafted into the army to take it back.
19:53Okay.
19:54You gotta go a little easier on my city, buddy.
19:57I'm not knocking it.
19:58I'm just not going there.
19:59Fair enough.
20:02Then I'll come visit.
20:04Sure.
20:06I mean it.
20:09Okay.
20:12I mean it.
20:19I'm a sheriff's deputy who makes $52,000 a year.
20:23I have $12,000 in the bank and I'm about to spend six of it on a pretty average rope
20:28horse.
20:28Three nights a week.
20:29I'm going to load him in a trailer and drag him all over Montana trying to win back what I
20:33spent on him.
20:34In October, I'm going to take my boys in the mountains for a month and fill our freezer with elk.
20:38I ain't never laying on no beach.
20:40I'm never going to Europe or San Francisco or any city bigger than Billings. Ever.
20:47What part of that sounds good to you?
20:49None of it.
20:50Now, walk me through your life. What won't you change?
20:53I don't have those kind of absolutes.
20:54Just walk me through it.
21:00Macy has gymnastics every morning.
21:03From there I go to Pilates.
21:05From Pilates I go to my therapist.
21:07From my therapist I go to coffee with my girlfriends to talk about all the bullshit advice my therapist gave
21:11me.
21:12Then I pick up Macy and I get Bridget and we go to ballet.
21:15We have recitals every Friday night.
21:16Saturday morning we have competitions.
21:18I take the girls the same parts for Christmas.
21:20Italy for the month of July, which you would love.
21:24I will point out.
21:30Who feeds the horses?
21:32Isn't there a service for that?
21:34You have to do it every day?
21:38Okay.
21:39Okay, there is no future in this, but you are tall and kind and fucking beautiful.
21:45You are tall and kind and beautiful.
21:47So can we just agree to fuck this up together and have as much sex as possible until, until we
21:54can?
21:54Yeah, you city girls do spell it out, don't you?
21:57Yeah, we, we, we get to the point.
21:59Yep, we do.
22:00You go from wondering when we're going to see each other to wondering when you're going to leave.
22:06I think I'd rather just miss you.
22:09I'm not gone yet.
22:10You know what I mean.
22:12So is this goodbye?
22:17I think it's best.
22:18Oh, wow.
22:21Let me just clarify.
22:24That you are breaking up with me at my father's funeral.
22:28No, we aren't together to break up.
22:29No, no, no. We seemed pretty together yesterday when you were lying on top of me.
22:32Abby.
22:32Don't fucking Abby me now.
22:34You want to miss me?
22:35Is that what you want?
22:37Here's your fucking chance.
22:41Here's your fucking chance.
22:43Join me now.
22:44Let's go.
22:46Come on, let's go.
22:47Come on, let's go.
22:50Come on.
22:54Come on.
22:57Come on.
23:01Come on.
23:02Come on.
23:02Let's go.
23:08It's time to go home, isn't it?
23:12Come on.
23:13You spent that money.
23:48When did your father die, Russell?
23:54It'll be six years in April.
23:56Where is he buried?
23:57My mother had him cremated.
24:00The plan was to spread his ashes at our place in Montauk,
24:03but he never did it. I don't know why.
24:08So, he's sitting in a jar on our mantle,
24:11which is an odd custom.
24:15Putting ashes in a jar above a fireplace full of ashes.
24:20What do you miss most about him?
24:27He used to call me every Monday and tell me a joke.
24:31Really?
24:33You still remember them?
24:35Oh, yeah.
24:36Tell me one.
24:37Oh, no, no, no.
24:38Yeah, my father had a rather warped sense of humor.
24:43Yeah, well, at this point I'm pretty hard to offend.
24:51Okay.
24:56Okay.
24:57So, there are four nuns driving in a van.
25:00And the van goes off a cliff and they all die.
25:03Funny.
25:03No, no, no.
25:04That's...
25:04I'm getting...
25:05Sorry, this is all just the setup.
25:07Yeah, I got it.
25:08Yeah.
25:08Okay.
25:09So, they're standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter looks them over
25:12and he says to the first nun,
25:14this is your last chance to confess before you enter the gates of heaven.
25:18And your conscience must be cleansed before you enter.
25:21So, the first nun thinks about it and she says,
25:24well, I used to sneak peeks at Father Riley in the shower.
25:29St. Peter says,
25:30well, you're a naughty one's sister.
25:31Wash your eyes in this bowl of holy water and say five Hail Marys.
25:35She does.
25:36Sends her off to heaven.
25:38So, he looks at the second nun, asks her the same thing.
25:40She says,
25:41well, on occasion I would stroke Father Riley's member with my hand.
25:46St. Peter just shakes his head, tells her to wash her hand in the bowl of holy water,
25:51say ten Hail Marys.
25:52So, she does, lets her into heaven.
25:55Now, the third nun steps up and the fourth nun grabs her,
25:59throws her to the ground and steps up to the bowl of holy water.
26:02St. Peter says, what on earth are you doing, sister?
26:04And the nun says,
26:05I'm gonna wash my mouth out in this bowl before that bitch puts her ass in it.
26:14I stand corrected, Russell.
26:16I can still be offended.
26:18I was very poorly chosen, I'm sorry.
26:20It was the first one that came to my mind.
26:21I am so sorry.
26:23I...
26:24It's terrible.
26:25Common denominator where their problem seems to be Father Riley.
26:29Yeah, he, uh, did get around.
26:32Ah, what's in it?
26:33Vodka soda.
26:35Easy on the soda.
26:37God bless you.
26:38The meeting's stuffing at the gym at nine, if you're up for it.
26:42Oh, yeah.
26:43Exercise.
26:44It's exactly what I need.
26:49I see things didn't end well with a cowboy.
26:53How's that look about it?
26:57Paige has been quiet.
26:59I think this is going to be hardest on her.
27:02I'm afraid.
27:04How so?
27:05When you've dedicated your entire life to gaining the attention of one person.
27:12What is your purpose when that person is gone?
27:15The girls are handling it well, at least.
27:18Yeah, well, they're too young to know the difference.
27:21Just one less present at Christmas.
27:27I know an excellent therapist, Stacy.
27:31You're my therapist.
27:34You're my best friend.
27:35I'm incapable of being impartial.
27:38Speaking to someone who can look at the situation with clarity and with zero opinion.
27:43What I need is opinion.
27:45If I want to know what the book on death says, I'll buy the fucking book.
28:04I don't know what else you will remember unless it happens to be in Alabama, I don't think so.
28:10I don't really trouble worry.
28:10Well, I have one more sports practice calls such as when I get to my present.
28:16I really need some information later.
28:22I want to know about that.
28:41Continent of the Penguins, these are small Atelians, royal emperors, and their close
28:50Relatives, they were also born, so I'm already giving way to the limited that, the full
28:57Which is going on right now?
28:59Forty percent off at the maximum 80 minutes, like Spive, or FB, in this time
29:07I'm going to take a parking spot on the Upper West Side at 6 p.m.
29:24That's a psychological thriller.
29:26Listen, I swear my fitness watch thought I was going to a party out yesterday.
29:30Just waiting for something like that.
29:32It's real.
29:33Your salary is at 120 and all you've done is set a retro card.
29:36Why should I keep writing?
29:37No, I'm sure people are going to be...
29:40...I'm sure you're not gonna be...
29:42...I'm sure you're not gonna be...
29:46I ordered a charcuterie board from Ely.
29:48And the pizzas from Joe's?
29:50One of us is thinking about your cholesterol.
29:53Pizzas are for Paul. It's the one thing he misses about this city.
30:00Look at you.
30:01Look at me what?
30:03Men are such children.
30:04Well, this should be interesting.
30:06You are.
30:07You have the same look on your face pulling out those nasty boots as an 11-year-old pulling out
30:12his baseball cleats.
30:13It's the same look you get when Gucci has a sale.
30:16That's different. That's me saving you money.
30:19You know, this is proof of the genetic distinction between men and women.
30:23Tell me, oh love of my life, all the ways how when you buy something on sale, it saves me
30:30money.
30:31I'm gonna buy the damn thing no matter what.
30:33Waiting for the sale is how much I love you.
30:37That almost makes sense.
30:39It makes perfect sense once you accept the inevitability of the purchase.
30:47Why do you do that?
30:49What?
30:51Is your little mountain mistress the jealous type?
30:56You wanna know?
30:58I do wanna know.
30:59I really wanna know.
31:01Because I lost it once.
31:03Fell off in the river.
31:05I spent two days looking for it.
31:06I'm not going through that shit again.
31:07So if I put it right there, I can't lose it.
31:12Panicked, were you?
31:15Terrified.
31:16It's nice to see I still have that effect.
31:19Oh boy.
31:20Do you ever, baby.
32:13Oh, Madison Avenue.
32:16How did they get the name, do you think?
32:21I always assumed James Madison, the president.
32:24Yeah. Of course, that would make sense.
32:26Yeah.
32:29I suppose they named the Madison River after him as well.
32:34Where's the Madison River?
32:35Montana.
32:39Where your husband spent time?
32:41Mm-hmm.
32:45Is that where he died?
32:48No, he died on another river.
32:50Actually, no, he died on a mountain.
32:54No, no river involved at all.
33:03How do you feel when you tell me that?
33:06How do you think I feel?
33:07I don't presume to know. That's why I asked.
33:11Isn't that your job?
33:13Tell me how I feel.
33:16My job is to help you understand how you feel.
33:19Hmm.
33:21More so, my job is to help you understand the behaviors that those feelings elicit.
33:28Hmm.
33:32And how would you describe my present behavior?
33:38Hostile.
33:41Hostile?
33:43Mistrusting.
33:44Which I understand.
33:47You don't know me.
33:50And yet, here you are, in theory, willing to expose your most personal thoughts and intimate feelings.
34:00Trust me in my interpretation of those feelings and behaviors to guide your decision-making in the future.
34:11My decision-making? What qu-what decisions are we questioning?
34:15I'm not questioning anything.
34:16No, you are the one who said it.
34:17My husband died.
34:19The love of my life.
34:21The father of my children.
34:24My center, my soul, is gone.
34:28If you, by chance, have happened upon any information that might assist me in mitigating the desire to claw my
34:37eyes out with a fucking spoon to get rid of the pain, I sure would appreciate that.
34:45But I do not need you staring at me like I'm some bored housewife trying to justify her affair with
34:51her fucking tennis coach.
34:53I know those women.
34:55Plenty of them.
34:56I am not one of them.
35:00I am hurting.
35:02And I would like some help with that, if you can.
35:08If you can't, then I'll leave early.
35:15And you can keep the fucking change.
35:24You care for a drink?
35:29I would love one.
35:37Don't normally do this.
35:40I spend most of my time convincing my clients not to self-medicate.
35:46Don't mind whiskey?
35:47I don't give a shit what it is.
36:10What you need is this.
36:12A lot of this.
36:14Not this.
36:17A lot of talking.
36:19And yelling and crying.
36:21A lot of it.
36:22And often.
36:24And in time.
36:27Those memories will become fond again.
36:31They won't hurt to recall them.
36:34And you'll laugh.
36:40Will you love again?
36:42Maybe.
36:45I don't have any idea if that's something you want.
36:49Will you ever be whole again?
36:51Or will you feel like you did before you died?
36:58No.
37:00But you know that.
37:02But you will heal.
37:04If you let yourself.
37:06You will have as much life to live as you allow yourself.
37:15Or you'll have none.
37:19You'll have no life.
37:25Does that make sense?
37:29Yeah.
37:32Okay.
37:38Why don't you finish your drink and let me have it?
37:41Seriously.
37:42Come on.
37:43Give it your best shot.
37:50You're a terrible therapist.
37:51You know that.
37:52Yeah.
37:53With that smug fucking sweater.
37:57You really like saying fuck, don't you?
37:59Yeah.
37:59I know.
38:01I find it quite liberating at the moment.
38:07Good.
38:08Say it again.
38:10Fuck you.
38:11Are we gonna do trust falls next, you fucking quack?
38:16It's a really good place to start.
38:18Come on.
38:19Keep it coming.
38:19Let's go.
38:21I'm serious.
38:27I'm thinking about it.
38:29I'm considering it.
38:31I know.
38:32I know.
38:32I know.
38:33I'm running away.
38:34Running away from my problems.
38:36This problem goes with me.
38:38So I'm not running from anything.
38:42Would I miss my daughters?
38:45Honestly, I don't.
38:47I don't know.
38:48I know.
38:49And part of me thinks it would be better for them.
38:51You know.
38:52Live their own lives.
38:54Maybe they could move with you.
38:56I mean, it doesn't sound like either of them are bound to the city.
38:59That's what I said.
39:00My oldest daughter needs it.
39:02I actually threatened to cut her off if she didn't.
39:08That's not very nice.
39:09Oh, what do they teach?
39:12Sarcasm in therapy school these days?
39:16Well, if by therapy school you mean Dartmouth, then yeah, they kind of invented it there.
39:25Do you think I should?
39:29Not my place to say, but I think you should consider it and I'll tell you why.
39:38Because you are actively weighing your future and the consequences of your choices in that future and that's healthy.
39:44That's good for your soul.
39:45So whether you actually do it is irrelevant.
39:49But you should seriously consider it.
39:51You should consider moving to Europe.
39:55Spend a year traveling.
39:56You got the financial means.
39:58No responsibilities here preventing it.
40:01You should consider everything.
40:06Wish I could have met him.
40:07Must have been a hell of a man.
40:09Because you are a hell of a woman.
40:11You know who you are and you're not ashamed of it.
40:13And this, yelling and crying and pondering.
40:18This is what you're supposed to be doing.
40:20This is grieving.
40:21This is accepting an immeasurable loss in your life.
40:24And racking your brain to try to find a way to survive it.
40:29And you will.
40:34Thank you, Phil.
40:37Wow, this has been...
40:41pleasantly cathartic.
40:42I took one look at that sweater and I had very little faith in you.
40:46But you...
40:47you overcame it.
40:49Turns out, you don't suck at your job.
40:52Well, that...
40:54is wildly offensive.
40:58Same time tomorrow?
41:00I'm thinking afternoon.
41:01I still got five clients and I'm pretty drunk.
41:04I think you are a client to end the day with, not begin one.
41:07Fine.
41:08See you at happy hour.
41:23Good night, I'm gonna try and get me here.
41:25I feel like I don't want to see you.
41:28Yeah.
41:28I've been here.
41:29I know who's really well.
41:34I'm sorry.
41:34And I've been in my life so far.
41:35You look in the day and I'll be in the day.
41:36But I'm just kind of getting out of my life.
41:37It's gonna run.
41:37I'm not getting up.
41:39I've got to go.
41:39You're not getting up.
41:39I'm just gonna...
41:40who's your realtor yeah no matter what I do I can't stay here Lily I can smell
41:46him hold on hold on is everything okay so um pages is is in bed and she won't
41:57talk and she can't stop crying and she's well she's hyperventilating and I feel
42:02like I should call an ambulance but I don't like I feel like that might make
42:05her worse you're right you're right it would I'll be there in 15 minutes call
42:09Abby okay calling her now
42:37is she in the bedroom yeah
42:45uh do you have any sweets sweets okay get some ice cream rocky road and buy some chocolate chips put
42:53three scoops in a glass of milk put the chocolate chips on top and and then just bring it to
42:58me
42:58with a spoon that sounds uh disgusting to start I wasn't asking your opinion of it Russell
43:08I got rocky road desperate times call for desperate measures grab chocolate chips the
43:13shitty ones like she likes well looks like all we need from you is a cup Russell give
43:19it to her she knows how to make it got it okay hey hey hey hey hey hey hey it's
43:26okay it's okay
43:27it's okay it's okay it's okay you know what this is this is how much you love them and your
43:33body just
43:34doesn't know where to put all that love now okay but you don't have to put it anywhere and you
43:38don't
43:39have to stop loving someone when they're gardening in fact one could argue that you should love them
43:45more and here's a sad fact of life you will feel this way again yeah when I die when your
43:55husband dies
43:56and your friends and and someday your children will feel this way about you thanks mom I feel so much
44:04better I come bearing gifts I'm not hungry it's not food it is a drug it is sugar and chocolate
44:13in a
44:14mixture that only your metabolism process in a way that doesn't end up on your hips and I hate you
44:19for
44:19it I used to eat this when I was like five no you still act five so
44:30fuck you and your bad roots no she's back
44:33I don't understand it it's the crunch with the cold and a mushy of the ice cream
44:40wait the explanation doesn't sell it page well you got her I got her but I cannot stay the night
44:50I can stay the night
45:01it was my favorite thing ever I know
45:16is she okay
45:20she will be
45:23is there a decent bar near here
45:26uh there's a there's a dive bar around the corner
45:31well Soho's version
45:50what's this place called um I don't know I'm not sure it has a name
46:10what's the name of this place name uh people just call it the bar or the bar down the street
46:16something like that no name not that I'm aware of no what does your paycheck say
46:21uh xt enterprises LLC or some shit
46:28okay so bar just doesn't have a name
46:32no name
46:32what can I get you
46:34oh god I'm uh I am not in the mood to make any decisions
46:40martini
46:40oh that is a cocktail and this is the furthest place from a cocktail bar so
46:44true that uh how about an irish car bomb
46:47I have no idea what that is
46:49trust me
46:50okay
46:51what about you
46:52what kind of amber ales do you
46:54that'll be two irish car bombs
46:56yeah like your style
46:57two irish car bombs
46:58I have to work in the morning
46:59it's one drink
47:00Russell
47:06oh I didn't see that coming oh gosh apologies Russell this is gonna hurt
47:20great you gotta yeah
47:31it went down the wrong pipe
47:35I have a bad gag reflex
47:37no no I'm not I'm I'm not laughing at that
47:40what then
47:44oh life
47:46out of choices people make
47:48don't get me wrong
47:50she made a good one with you
47:54what are your dreams
47:58dreams
47:59or you know aspirations
48:02might be a better word
48:04for your life
48:05for my daughter
48:07I mean what uh you know we we just got the townhouse so
48:11yeah well that's a purchase
48:12not a dream
48:15have you two
48:18talked about starting a family
48:20you know page
48:22she just got down to a size zero
48:23and she worked really hard for it
48:25Russell Russell
48:26independent thoughts
48:27do you have any
48:30yeah I mean I guess I want
48:32I want to have kids
48:33mm-hmm
48:34okay
48:34I don't want to raise them
48:35and I want to
48:37I want to move out of town
48:38you know where they can have a normal
48:40you know trick or treat
48:42and
48:42and
48:43and
48:43play baseball
48:44and run out on the street
48:46you know
48:46no I don't know
48:47no I don't know
48:49I raised mine here
48:51well that would be my dream
48:54what about when they're grown
48:58what's the dream then
48:59I don't know
49:00I don't know
49:01I haven't gotten that far
49:02yeah well
49:03then you need a new dream
49:07honestly I always thought of you and Creston as the dream
49:14so did I Russell
49:19but that dream is over
49:23well I guess we both need a new one
49:28yeah
49:30yeah
49:31yeah
49:32yeah
49:32yeah
49:38yeah
49:39yeah
49:42yeah
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