- 8 hours ago
Coronation Street Full Episode Thursday 23rd April 2026
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TVTranscript
00:25Oh, hi.
00:26These are from Michelle.
00:28Well, Daisy, delivery driver, can't tell a four from a six,
00:31but that's the comprehensive system for you.
00:34Oh, and Debbie was saying that it was Carl that caused all that damage.
00:39I feel terrible.
00:40Well, it's not your fault.
00:42Well, you know, I am Carl adjacent, family-wise.
00:45Oh, Sal, they're lovely. Thank you.
00:49Oh, right.
00:50Listen, Debbie's offered us a free lunch at the hotel, you know,
00:52to make up for the wedding being off. What do you reckon?
00:55Well, no.
00:55Well, I've got a Dubai day plan now.
00:58Looking forward to that more than I was at the wedding, actually.
01:00Oh, all right, thanks.
01:01Yeah, well, getting dressed up and, you know, folk gawping at you.
01:05Don't like to be the central pretension, do I?
01:08It's free champagne.
01:09All day.
01:10Really?
01:11How can a girl say no to that?
01:14Well, exactly.
01:15Right, no arguments.
01:16Come on, you'll need to get changed if we're going for a romantic lunch.
01:19Can't I go on with trackie?
01:22Get dressed.
01:23Mm.
01:24It's like we're married already.
01:25Thanks, Sal.
01:28Is there anything I can do?
01:31Er, actually, Sally, there is.
01:34Morning, Miss Mom.
01:35Oh, I'm back-butted about the wedding.
01:38I bought a new bra and everything.
01:40Lord knows I could do with a good rave-up.
01:42Er, couldn't we all, huh?
01:43Listen, seeing as we're off anyway, how do you fancy me, you, Rovers, splattered?
01:48Yes, you're on.
01:50You all right, Sal?
01:51Oh, ask if she wants to come day drinking and all.
01:53You all right?
01:55Really?
01:59Change of plan.
02:01No.
02:02Mm-hmm.
02:07Starting.
02:09Not a shame.
02:10Er, no.
02:12Surprise.
02:14We know you don't like surprises, but I will.
02:17Well, the registrar was booked and the license sorted, so if you don't mind getting wed somewhere
02:24that looks like the ball rather than the Poseidon adventure.
02:28It's only one of my favorite films.
02:30Really?
02:31Thank God for that.
02:33I can't get married in this, can I?
02:37You shall go to the ball.
02:41Oh, my...
02:41Were you all in on this?
02:44Royston, you've got a rule against lying.
02:47On this happy occasion, I chose to flout it.
02:51Well, it doesn't matter how we do it, only that we do, right?
02:55Are we finally getting hitched, are we?
02:59To quote you, my darling, we flaming well are.
03:04Ka-ching!
03:07So Megan admitted it?
03:09She said how good he was in bed.
03:10Oh.
03:11It made me feel sick.
03:12Which is why I've not said anything to Ben, because I...
03:15God knows what I'd do.
03:16Maybe it was to wind you up, because you went to her yesterday.
03:19Who says something like that as a wind-up?
03:21Oh, no, she absolutely meant it.
03:23We've got all the evidence we need.
03:25Apart from any actual evidence.
03:27Hey, Taya, can I just have a quick word?
03:30Yeah, yeah.
03:31Sorry, one sec.
03:33Actually, I've got an idea how to deal with her once and for all.
03:37I can't believe Carl's caused her this.
03:40No.
03:41Well, we've done what we can.
03:42And Carla and Lisa seem happy enough.
03:45Mind you, the way them two are looking at each other,
03:47they'd probably get married on a rubbish tip.
03:50Oi.
03:51Out!
03:52No, no, it's all right, Ryan.
03:54I asked him to come.
03:55Ralph, will you just pass me that envelope, love?
04:00Wait, what, are you giving him more money?
04:01He's just wrecked the place.
04:02Believe you me, this will be the last.
04:07Right.
04:08Take that and go.
04:11I don't care where,
04:12but just make sure you don't come back.
04:16What, like, forever?
04:19Forever's a long time.
04:21Which, of course, I don't have.
04:23But what time I do have left,
04:25I don't want to be poisoned by you.
04:29So, yeah.
04:31Yeah, I suppose this is it.
04:32The last goodbye.
04:35Unless, of course, you want to give me that back.
04:42No, I'm good.
04:45Can't wait to leave this miserable cesspit behind anyway.
04:48It's only one person that's caused misery round here, mate.
04:50Ryan, will you do me a favour and go and check on the girls, please?
04:54Yeah, go on.
04:55Do as you're told.
04:57Please, Ryan.
04:59Thanks.
04:59Right.
05:00Mother.
05:01Nice doing business with you.
05:03I'd love to say it was a pleasure.
05:05Just scuttle off like the rat you are and leave us in peace.
05:09Peace?
05:10Peace?
05:12You left your husband a gibbering wreck.
05:14You've got two kids on the other side of the world
05:16and one cold in the ground.
05:19So you enjoy your peace.
05:20Have a think about what you've just said there.
05:23And that's why you've got to go.
05:26You're ruining too many lives.
05:30And when I've reconciled myself
05:32with never seeing you again,
05:35I wish you no harm.
05:41So go.
05:43And go well.
05:46Depp.
05:48Right.
05:50I think I've said my peace now.
05:53That's that.
05:54Abbott, can you come and help me in the kitchen, please?
06:11Oh, she's dead nice, isn't she, Olivia?
06:13Yeah.
06:15Lovely table manners,
06:16you know, when I put them turkey dinosaurs down?
06:18Honestly, put Lily and David to shame.
06:20They were like some outlawed at flies.
06:23What's that?
06:25Oh, it's just a book we did in school.
06:27No, there's somebody in the garden.
06:31Don't go out there.
06:32If it's Geoffrey Dahmer,
06:34I'll tell him to be on his way.
06:35Hiya, we wouldn't go, miss.
06:37What are you playing at?
06:38I'm helping.
06:39Helping who?
06:40Do what?
06:41It's a secret.
06:42Not if it's in my garden, it's not.
06:43Have you seen these clowns?
06:46What is wrong with you?
06:48Nothing.
06:52I cannot do it, David.
06:55You nervous?
06:59I'm excited.
07:03Right.
07:04Let's get the soppy bit out of the way first.
07:09I'm so happy for you.
07:13And I'm so proud of you and Carla for the way that you've handled yourself through...
07:18No.
07:19No, no, no, no, no.
07:20Not today, Bits.
07:21That's from Chit's band.
07:24Understood.
07:26Today's about the future.
07:29For all three of us.
07:31Okay.
07:33Come here.
07:36Come here.
07:41What are you doing here?
07:42I'm waiting on the job.
07:44Thought I'd have a bit of a nosy.
07:45All right.
07:47Well, Sal's not going to be best pleased that you're here and she ain't.
07:50Yeah.
07:52Mm-hmm.
07:58Oh.
07:59Oh, my goodness.
08:01Wow.
08:02Now back at you.
08:04Beautiful.
08:05So, who's going to stand at the end and who's going to walk at the end?
08:10We'll do it together.
08:12Like always.
08:14Mm-hmm.
08:14Oh.
08:14Mm-hmm.
08:15One moment, sir.
08:17Hello.
08:20Oh, boy.
08:22This was, uh, Hayley's favourite.
08:25I can't accept it.
08:26Well, that's just as well, because I'm not giving it to you.
08:29Oh.
08:30It's, uh, something borrowed.
08:32It's also something old and something blue.
08:34So, you just need your something new now.
08:37Oh, I've got that right beside me, haven't I?
08:43You ready?
08:49Let's do this.
08:51Blast, blast, halakazam.
08:55Out of an R's college.
09:11Right.
09:14When I first met you, I thought you were completely and utterly terrifying.
09:19And that's coming from the hard-nosed copper.
09:23But underneath that Aggie exterior, it's, uh, Aggie, me.
09:29Is more kindness, more gentleness, more thoughtfulness than I could ever have known.
09:42What we've been through to get here, it's...
09:47The things that put you through.
09:50Carly, your family and friends must read the day we ever got together.
09:53Hey, pull yourself together.
09:54This is about me, not them.
09:56Hmm?
09:57Come on.
09:58There she is.
10:01The woman I love.
10:03Hmm?
10:06I want your face to be the first thing I see every morning.
10:10Hmm?
10:11And the last thing I see every night.
10:16I love you, Carla.
10:19I love you.
10:25We're our own love story, aren't we?
10:28Hmm?
10:29Our own little team.
10:32And we're not just...
10:34looking in each other's eyes.
10:37We're looking in the same direction now.
10:40Aren't we?
10:42Standing side by side.
10:44Hand in hand.
10:47Forever, please.
10:50Forever.
10:51Hmm?
10:57So it gives me great pleasure
11:00to declare Carla and Lisa
11:03wife and wife.
11:07You may kiss.
11:11Woo!
11:14What are you doing?
11:19What is wrong with you?
11:20You've been like a cat on a knocked-in roof all day.
11:23Can we leave it?
11:24No, we can't.
11:26It's not your ex, is it?
11:28He hasn't tracked you down, has he?
11:36Yeah.
11:38Yeah, it is.
11:41He's Olivia's dad.
11:49I stole this from him.
11:52I stole this from him.
11:54He wants me dead.
11:59Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs Conner.
12:00I don't have the keys and Sarah's not picking up.
12:03All right, I'll see you in a bit.
12:06Oh, my God.
12:09Yeah?
12:10Hey.
12:10Get out.
12:33Oh.�
13:02Thank you, Parker.
13:05Lady Penelope.
13:08Thanks, Tim.
13:09Show him about the car.
13:17Oh, I don't know of all the time for this to happen.
13:21All right, shift.
13:26Here we go.
13:32Oh, there we are, there we are.
13:35Hey.
13:36Surprise!
13:38Oh, my God.
13:39Wow.
13:40I only suggested it to Sal.
13:42We didn't expect all this.
13:44Well, your devoted staff thought you deserved a decent celebration for your big day.
13:49Oh, Sal.
13:50How did you get here before us?
13:51Oh, well, I told Tim to take you on the scenic route.
13:53You sneaky little...
13:55I taught you well.
13:56Oh, guys!
13:59Oh!
14:03Oh, for himself!
14:05Why did you steal it?
14:08I had to.
14:10It was the only protection I had to make sure he didn't get rid of me.
14:17But then I, well, he caught me trying to escape and I got bundled into the back of a van.
14:26Luckily, her dad didn't realise I still had the hard drive.
14:28But it does now.
14:29He must have eventually realised it was still missing, yeah, and figured it out that it was me.
14:35You need to give this back, OK?
14:38If Olivia tracked you here, they could be on their way already.
14:41I can't.
14:42It's my only insurance policy.
14:44And Olivia, she won't say anything.
14:46Trust me, she got the message loud and clear.
14:48Jodie, they could still know where you are, OK?
14:54You need to get gone.
14:55Pronto.
14:59You're kicking me out.
15:00Damn right I am.
15:01For your sake, as much as my family's.
15:05I tried online dating.
15:07Oh, yeah, how's it going?
15:08I've forgotten my password.
15:10What about real life?
15:11I'm out of practice.
15:13Well, why don't you go and chat to people here?
15:15Like, not to chat them all, just to chat.
15:17Yeah, baby steps.
15:20Have you seen Shona?
15:21No.
15:23Sorry.
15:26How many has he had?
15:28I have no idea, but that's not my problem, thankfully.
15:32Well, blow me down.
15:33I would never in a million years have thought that the highlight of Carla's wedding would
15:37be Scotch egg.
15:38I can hear my uncle now.
15:40If you serve Sosha's Rolls at Black Wedding, there'll be a riot.
15:43I apologise for the makeshift nature of the buffet.
15:47It was all prepared at the last minute with the help of friends and names.
15:51Oh, yeah.
15:51Tim brought these badges from Speed Dial.
15:54I did the Russian salad.
15:55Why is it Russian?
15:56Because they had to make it quick.
15:59I mean, I went to the bistro.
16:00Yeah.
16:00They got me some wine, yeah.
16:02But nobody asked me to contribute food.
16:03Oh, sure.
16:04Maybe that's because they've tasted you cooking.
16:06Oh, that's outrageous.
16:09Roy, honestly.
16:10Now, this, this is perfect, this.
16:12Carla all over, isn't it?
16:13I believe it is, yes.
16:15Yeah.
16:15Yeah.
16:20Hi.
16:23No.
16:27Okay.
16:28Why is he talking to me?
16:30I don't know.
16:30Hey, where's Summer?
16:32Oh, erm, she's gone to see Todd.
16:35You know he's leaving tomorrow, isn't it?
16:35Oh, it's a shame she's missing out on the party.
16:37Yeah, some party and all.
16:39Just a bunch of crumblies getting blabbered in a nigger factory.
16:42Oi, that's my crumblies you're talking about.
16:44Fair point.
16:45Anyway, a mate's just texted asking me about going to town later.
16:49What do you think?
16:49I can't go to my mum on her wedding day.
16:52Why not?
16:53Right, okay, I'll think about it.
16:54Here we go.
16:56This your first lesbian wedding, then?
16:59Joking, are you?
17:00I'm in the police.
17:03Beautiful day.
17:04Really enjoyed myself.
17:05What, you're not going already, are you?
17:07Yeah, what, you generation, what you made of?
17:10Well, you know, Lauren might have suggested going to town later.
17:13You do whatever you want to, you baby girl.
17:16You know, you've got to live your life and enjoy yourself.
17:18Mm-hm.
17:18I think somebody's had a drink.
17:23Oh, Sal.
17:24Will you remind me to reimburse you for all this champagne, please?
17:27Because I can't have my staff, you know, splashing out like drunken sailors.
17:31Well, actually, Nick donated it.
17:33He said it was your wedding present.
17:35Oh, well, that's very generous of Nick, isn't it?
17:38Why, thank you.
17:39Very.
17:39Probably got it at cost price, Mum.
17:41What's up?
17:42Yeah, we could all do with it, cos it's that nice, couldn't we?
17:44Yeah, couldn't we?
17:46Oh, Nina, top us up in here, will you?
17:48Wait, your turn.
17:50David, what even are you doing here?
17:53Well, we're celebrating your love, aren't we?
17:57Actually, to be fair, we help Kirk set up.
17:59Aw.
18:00Aw.
18:01Ooh.
18:01That's very sweet of you, David.
18:04Don't forget, you're guarded 855.
18:07Yeah.
18:07Yeah.
18:15Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you're all as happy and as moved as I am by this union.
18:25I never had children, but in Carla, I feel that I've enjoyed all the benefits of fatherhood.
18:33Without any of the drawbacks.
18:58Thank you, David.
19:09Thank you, wife.
19:14It had to be you, wonderful you, it had to be you.
19:28We need to go get the cake.
19:30They texted, they're outside.
19:32I need to get the cake.
19:32You get the cake, I'm DJing.
19:36You're on break, you're on break, you're on break.
19:38Don't touch anything.
19:38I'm on level blue.
19:40Oh, that's it.
19:42I'm on Velazquez.
19:46I'm dancing, I'm dancing.
19:49I'm dancing.
19:53I'm dancing.
20:04Let's go.
20:16Oh
20:20Champagne my beauties
20:23Is this for some romantic time together you care after a raise or summer?
20:28No, it's something we all wanted to do for you both. Well, you've gone above and beyond. Thank you
20:33I will leave you to it. So if you need anything, just bomb me a text
21:00You know what's going to be said hands down this is definitely be the duvet day
21:08I praise indeed
21:09What was that?
21:13Just foxes. Right, last dance you. Come on
21:18Come on
21:20Anything for you wife
21:25I love you
21:26I love you
21:30I want to be loved
21:32Do you want to be?
21:33Yeah
21:34An inspiration
21:35You don't get verbatim
21:38Oh
21:39Oh
21:39Oh
21:40Oh
21:55Hi
21:56Say
21:57Oh
21:57Oh
21:58Oh
22:01Hey
22:02I'm
22:02Aww
22:03Oh
22:04Oh
22:04Oh
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