- 22 hours ago
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00:00The Goddess of Healing.
00:03She is eccentric and elusive and no one has ever seen her before.
00:08Whoever finds the Goddess Healer will give her five million dollars.
00:13Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:17I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:20My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved his country from a terrorist attack.
00:24If he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:28It's a deal.
00:30I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:31How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:34I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:38That's right. The Queen, Angel, and I are already the top doctors in the world.
00:43If we can't save him, no one can.
00:46Don't don the mantle of Doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:50Now stop getting in my way.
00:53Every second counts.
00:58Healer Goddess, hear my plea.
01:02Please save my child.
01:20Rod of a sepulis.
01:38Rejuvenate.
01:48Praise. She is the Healer Goddess.
01:51No, please.
01:53Don't call me that.
01:55I'm just glad I could help.
02:01Here you go, miss.
02:05Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
02:10in need?
02:23You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
02:28run.
02:31Aw, it's okay, little guy.
02:34I'll fix you right up.
02:40Right rewrites the wrong.
02:45Rejuvenate.
02:50See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
02:56Come on, Cleo. Let's go.
03:02Come on, Cleo. Let's go.
03:13Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
03:17We have no idea what the illness is.
03:19If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
03:22Be Lysander Armstrong.
03:24His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
03:28He's so hot.
03:30Does he come with the money?
03:32Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
03:34Money, fame, power.
03:36It's all yours.
03:42Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
03:44Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
03:48Oh, I have another call coming in.
03:52Grandma!
03:53I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
03:56Grandma?
03:58Grandma.
03:59When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
04:03I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
04:05Grandma. And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
04:11Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
04:18We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
04:22Oh, no!
04:32Please go feed your dog, miss. Don't let it starve like you.
04:35Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
04:39Grant me a wish?
04:41That's you can barely feed yourself.
04:42The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
04:47What the? Oh, jeez. This has given me a migraine.
04:51Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
04:54I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
04:57Okay. Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
05:02Can you do that?
05:03I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
05:07Cleo, stay right here for a second.
05:09Don't go too far, Cleo.
05:14Hold still.
05:21What? My migraine's gone.
05:24Okay, then let's go.
05:25If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
05:28Come on. Come on.
05:29Oh!
05:42How is he?
05:44What is the diagnosis?
05:46Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
05:48I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
05:51Aren't you the queen of medicine?
05:52You're supposed to be one of the best.
05:54Don't worry, General.
05:56I'm the angel herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
06:01I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
06:21I have no clue what this is.
06:25Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
06:31That's why we saved the best for last.
06:33Me, the witch doctor.
06:35I'll save your son, Lysander.
06:47He's not budging. There's no movement.
06:49Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
06:56Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
06:59They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
07:02If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
07:08Who?
07:11The goddess of healing.
07:15Wait a second.
07:16You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
07:19That's correct.
07:20Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
07:25That's her motto.
07:26It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
07:29We are nothing compared to her.
07:31She is eccentric and elusive.
07:35No one has ever seen her before.
07:37If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
07:41I don't care if I go bankrupt.
07:43I will find her.
07:45James, come.
07:47Put out a bounty.
07:48To the entire world.
07:50Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
07:54There's no need.
08:09I'll save your son.
08:12Who the hell is she?
08:13Dad.
08:13She says she can cure Lysander.
08:15She's gonna save your brother?
08:17Don't be ridiculous.
08:18How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
08:22Exactly.
08:23God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
08:26She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
08:29Ew!
08:30She even brought a filthy dog with her.
08:33I bet it has fleas.
08:35That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
08:39Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
08:46Don't touch him.
08:49They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
08:54So step aside.
08:56I'll take it from here.
08:58Could you hold this?
08:59Ho, ho, ho, ho.
09:00You're not gonna touch my son.
09:02I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
09:07I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
09:09I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
09:15Who knows what an unskilled whore girl like her would do for some.
09:19A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
09:26Ew!
09:27Disgusting.
09:28Go back to being a prostitute.
09:30Security!
09:31Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
09:34Let's go.
09:35If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
09:41Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
09:47Maybe we should give her a try?
09:49You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
09:53All right, I'll give you a shot.
09:55But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
10:01Is that any way to ask for help?
10:04You'd be blessed to have me.
10:06And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
10:10But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
10:14Devin, come find me when you have a different wish.
10:17No, Miss Trixie.
10:19My brother is a hero to me.
10:20I can't lose him.
10:23Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
10:29My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
10:33Also, he's great with puppies.
10:35He'd make a great husband.
10:38Who says I want to marry him?
10:40As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
10:47Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
10:50I mean, look at her.
10:51Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
10:56Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
11:01Continue wasting your time.
11:02But I'm saving this patient.
11:30What the hell are you doing?
11:33I knew she was a perv!
11:35She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
11:38Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
11:41Are you insane?
11:42Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
11:47He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
11:54Yeah, right.
11:55I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
11:58Oh, okay.
11:59I've studied every disease known to man, right?
12:01I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
12:05And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
12:12This?
12:19Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
12:22What?
12:23What?
12:24So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, the rod of a sepulis?
12:29Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
12:35I agree.
12:36I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
12:42years?
12:43We are all certified.
12:45But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
12:48She's right about everything.
12:52Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
12:57And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
13:00Endogenic cryomorphy.
13:02Oh.
13:02And of course none of you have heard of it.
13:04Because I just discovered it.
13:07This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
13:11The chances are a billion to one.
13:13A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
13:15But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
13:20What a bunch of baloney.
13:22I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
13:27Precisely.
13:27You are just a scamming prostitute.
13:30You don't compare to me, us, who actually studied real medicine.
13:35I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
13:39Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
13:42And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
13:46which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
13:50Is that supposed to be a challenge?
13:52Oh my God.
13:54If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
13:58I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
14:01Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
14:05What is that supposed to mean?
14:06It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
14:12Then let's have a bet.
14:14If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
14:20And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
14:26These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
14:30You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
14:34Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
14:37There's too many lives at stake.
14:41Don't worry.
14:42I got this.
14:45It's a deal.
14:47I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
14:49No one is dying on my watch.
14:57Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
15:04Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
15:08Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
15:20I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
15:23I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
15:26I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
15:31Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
15:34Wait, wait, wait, wait.
15:35What for?
15:35Don't listen to her.
15:38She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
15:43Firstly, this is called greatness.
15:47Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
15:54What?
15:55Did you just call me?
15:58There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
16:02Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
16:07Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
16:13Oh, yeah?
16:14Hey, you want to see real pain?
16:15Where's the dog?
16:16Well, put down the dog!
16:18With pleasure.
16:29Oh!
16:31Oh!
16:35Left leaves the wrong breath.
16:41You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
16:46She's been poisoned!
16:48It was her!
16:50Do you see any poison on me?
16:52Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
16:58This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
17:01Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
17:03Of course.
17:05I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
17:08If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
17:28Why is she spitting blood?
17:29This wasn't supposed to happen!
17:31I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
17:36This is what I call malpractice.
17:40This isn't fatal.
17:41She'll live.
17:42But she deserves a little punishment.
17:44Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
17:47Jacuzzi is ready?
17:48Right this way.
17:49Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
17:50What the hell is going on?
17:52You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
17:56Then stop getting in my way.
17:58Every second counts.
18:00Let's go for our dip, shall we?
18:06General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
18:11Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
18:15Hold on.
18:16You two are going in there alone?
18:18If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone
18:24in.
18:25All right.
18:26But I warn you, no funny business.
19:15All right.
19:30you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
19:34armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions
19:42that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughing
19:46stock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to that
19:53we have to have faith where did you actually find this little life on the streets are you
20:03shitting me you found this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know her you don't know her
20:09background she could be a psychotic murder that is it general you have to go in and stop this now
20:14you're right that's it i'm shutting down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir
20:22oh my
20:29i told you all to stay out
20:37this is a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we both die
20:46i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
20:52i'm gonna save him myself
20:58you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman this is a witchcraft
21:05i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her she uses her dark magic to
21:12steal the
21:12hearts of young handsome men and then she eats them alive oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before she
21:18takes my son james get the swat team yes sir
21:35help me i'm just one
21:42something's wrong
21:47you were drunk with an aphrodisiac
21:50lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
21:55that's one more thing i'm saving you from
22:05sir the swat team is here
22:06captain morales
22:09my son is trapped behind there
22:12with a devious man-eating witch
22:15i need you to do whatever you can
22:16to tear down that door
22:18rest assured general armstrong
22:20we'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive
22:27right
22:28he writes the wrong
22:37who the fuck are you and why the hell are we naked
22:42good you're awake i'm saving you
22:45saving me by bathing with me
22:48you are your fucking spy talk i swear to god we'll have you arrested for this
22:56you're the one who's trying to kiss me and your stripper
23:00i will never
23:01oh really
23:16look who's guilty now
23:20look i don't know what the fuck this is
23:21all right but it is a biological fact
23:24a man is attracted to
23:27a naked woman
23:28and her breasts
23:29science okay it just means that my body
23:31oh shut up
23:35you're just talking to me with your friend
23:38and i'm a professional
23:39i hear lysander's voice
23:41captain do something now
23:43ready
23:49we're almost there
23:50aim
23:52get them boys
23:54get them
23:56fire
23:59fire
24:00Die!
24:15Those Thea missiles.
24:17How is this possible?
24:19It's not even a scratch.
24:21I told you this is dark magic.
24:23Of course your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
24:26No, I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
24:29She's not the dark witch.
24:31Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
24:35This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
24:38How is she going to save someone else's life?
24:40That's right.
24:41The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
24:45If we can't save him, no one can.
24:48Except for the goddess healer.
24:50Think about it. We heard Lysander's voice.
24:53He's been in a coma for two years.
24:54Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
24:55You're right.
24:56This homeless girl is maybe the goddess...
25:01Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess...
25:05No! No!
25:06Absolutely not!
25:07There is no way this hobo girl is better than us!
25:10How could you know for sure?
25:12Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
25:16You're wrong, sir!
25:17This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
25:21It's called borderline revival.
25:24She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
25:27But only temporarily.
25:29It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
25:33That means my son is in tremendous pain.
25:36I'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can.
25:39To kill that antler rod bearing witch!
25:42My son doesn't deserve this.
25:43He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant!
25:48Then it looks like it's up to me.
25:50The witch doctor.
25:52Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
25:56My son's life is in your hands.
25:59You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
26:03I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
26:09from me.
26:11This is it.
26:12The finishing touch.
26:14I must now give you the kiss of life.
26:17So we can both survive.
26:37It's poison gas.
26:39That poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
26:44Poison gas?
26:45My son is in there.
26:47You're jeopardizing his life as well.
26:49No, don't worry, General.
26:51Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
26:54Soon, she'll come out crying to mommy.
26:57Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
26:59And then he can marry one of us.
27:02They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
27:07I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
27:10It's now or never.
27:24What the hell are they doing in there?
27:26It's been over ten minutes.
27:27Wait a second.
27:29You don't think that they're...
27:31You!
27:32You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
27:34Don't point your fingers at me!
27:36If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger.
27:40Oh my god.
27:40Yeah?
27:41She's the one who sealed the door shut.
27:43I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
27:47Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother.
27:51This is taking way too long.
27:54Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
27:57These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
28:01Bazooka.
28:02She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
28:05Crap.
28:06Oh my god.
28:06Get back, sucker.
28:08Ready.
28:10Aim!
28:11Oh shit.
28:16Quit your whining and stand down.
28:30The parasite's been extracted. Shoot her dead now.
28:33Do I need to fix your hearing too?
28:35I said stand down.
28:38Don't listen to her. She's a fraud.
28:41A termite to the field of medicine.
28:43I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
28:46If I'm a termite, then you're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
28:51Wait a second. Are you saying you cured my son?
28:54He'll wake in just a moment. You can see for yourself.
28:58Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
29:01That is it. No more stalling, General.
29:03If you won't punish her, I will.
29:09Don't hurt her.
29:15He's a cure.
29:22His pulse is regular. In fact, it's never been better.
29:28There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
29:39Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
29:41Lysander's warm again. He's not cold and pale like before.
29:44And his heart is strong. Come, feel it.
29:49I saved my son. Thank you.
29:52Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
29:55Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
29:59I've learned my lesson.
30:01I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
30:06Wait, wait. No, no. There is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field of
30:12medicine than the Queen, Angel, and I.
30:16The goddess healer.
30:21Could you really be the goddess of healing?
30:23But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old and you don't look a
30:29day after 20.
30:31It doesn't matter who I am. What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
30:36Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother. Take care.
30:40No, wait.
30:42Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
30:44He's right.
30:46We are men of our words. And as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife
30:51if you cured him. And you did just that.
30:53Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
30:57I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry. I... I'm already engaged.
31:06Already engaged?
31:07I am. I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years. And he's coming back today.
31:14But don't be disappointed. Really, I'm no one special. I just got lucky with your brother.
31:20Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
31:23But you're still Lysander's savior. Please, let me give you what I promised. Take the gold.
31:29No, really. I don't need anything. I just believe in doing good in the world.
31:38Trixie, it's your fiancé. He's back. And he says he's breaking up with you.
31:46I must go.
31:53Hobo close. Halo glow. I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
31:59It was just dumb luck.
32:01She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
32:04She could have been the richest woman in the world, marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
32:13I'm gonna marry that homeless woman.
32:18Oh my God. I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
32:25No, no, no, no, no, Lysander! Lysander, our job was supposed to be mine!
32:32I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him!
32:37You two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession. Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their
32:43licenses.
32:44Wait, no! We're not bride!
32:46No, she's just better than us!
32:49Oh my God!
32:52We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
32:56She's no average Jane.
32:57No, she isn't.
32:58She said it was just dumb luck.
33:00But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable
33:06looking doll?
33:06But think about the impenetrable walls. No normal person could have done that.
33:10Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care. I have never met a woman like that. I have to
33:16find her. I have to make her my wife.
33:18She won my heart over too. But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
33:23Alright, listen. I need help finding three wedding gifts.
33:32I'm dumping Trixie. So I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things, out of my house. Now.
33:40Trixie paid for this house. She waited for you for three years.
33:45She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease. And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now. One
33:49with some serious fuck you money.
33:52So get lost.
33:54Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
34:02Grandma.
34:04Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
34:07I've been dying to throw this in your face.
34:09I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
34:14In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
34:16So sign over the house, now.
34:23You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
34:26And I did.
34:28For three years while you were deployed.
34:31Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
34:33And now you're trying to swindle my home?
34:36Do you have no shame?
34:38We were together for three years and, uh, it was a complete waste of my life.
34:42When I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
34:49That's how much she would owe me if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
34:55I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
35:00What?
35:03Oh yeah?
35:05Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
35:09She grew up even poorer than you.
35:12And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation!
35:17Dude!
35:18Oh!
35:19And you?
35:21You're still nothing.
35:23So you think she's an upgrade?
35:25Of course she's an upgrade.
35:28Look what she, uh, got me for my engagement.
35:31Oops.
35:33Yeah.
35:34That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
35:43You gave her the presidential contract?
35:45I certainly did.
35:46In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
35:58Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
36:00That break-up must have hit her hard.
36:03You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
36:07My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
36:13How dare you insult her.
36:16It's okay, Grandma.
36:18Let's not stoop to that level.
36:21Poor Edna.
36:21She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
36:24What is he talking about, Jersey?
36:27Show her, Bob.
36:32This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
36:36She didn't purchase this house on her own.
36:38She was begging on the street for money.
36:41I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
36:45Even if you got no game, I got street cred I got off-keep. You dig?
36:49The word you're looking for is dignity.
36:51And you're one to speak, cheater.
36:55Is this true, Trixie?
37:00I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
37:02I want to see how regular, everyday people live.
37:06So that I can help them.
37:08Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
37:12What is that supposed to mean?
37:13It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade, is actually a downgrade.
37:22Enough bullshitting already! Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
37:39At your wedding, I will.
37:41What?
37:42If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing you with my best friend, why
37:48should I do good by you?
37:49I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
37:55Fucking bitch! You better keep your word.
37:58Oh, that's rich.
37:59After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
38:02Do remember that.
38:11Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
38:14They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
38:18Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
38:21I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
38:24Trillions?
38:27That would make you the richest person on the planet.
38:31It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
38:37I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
38:40That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
38:45It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
38:49But please, Trixie dear, I know it must have broken your heart, but embellishing your worth and who you are,
38:58it will only delay the healing process.
39:01You don't have to believe me just yet.
39:03After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical pills.
39:08I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
39:13That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to charity.
39:17You've always had an angel's heart.
39:19I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right.
39:23Who actually deserves you.
39:25You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
39:28Oh, yeah.
39:34You said Trixie's crushing my wedding?
39:37She was bullying us too, Sasa.
39:39She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
39:44I hope when nobody steps on Snake.
39:46Snake bites back hard.
39:48So let her come and embarrass herself.
39:50Yeah.
39:51You mean, we broadcast that video of you?
39:59Yes.
40:00Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
40:03She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess against my
40:08presidential glow up.
40:10Let's turn this party into her funeral.
40:19There he is.
40:21Welcome home, brother.
40:24Welcome home, General!
40:27Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
40:32He served with her regiment in the Marines.
40:34You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
40:37Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
40:41So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her?
40:44Fucking coward.
40:45According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
40:49Then we should join her.
40:51Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
40:56So she needs our support.
40:58Will you join me in protecting her?
40:59Yes, sir!
41:00We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
41:03Then let's roll.
41:19Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
41:21Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
41:23Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour my company will be receiving the presidential contract
41:28allowing my biomedical company to go public.
41:35Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
41:38Wakeham.
41:39Still, Butch is taking my last name.
41:41Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
41:44You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a par-tay after all.
41:49I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
41:56The U.S. President will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
42:02It's an honor.
42:03And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
42:08We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
42:11Let the wedding begin!
42:14Not so fast.
42:16The party doesn't start until I say it does.
42:40You two really are a match made in hell.
42:43So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
42:46I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles.
42:49Who is she?
42:49Uh, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
42:53Just watch.
42:56Trixie, what are you doing here?
42:58This isn't the homeless shelter. You lost.
43:00I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
43:02You know, being this poor.
43:06Me, bum a meal.
43:08Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
43:12And what evidence do you have of that?
43:13Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
43:16I'm a millionaire CEO.
43:18Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
43:22And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
43:25Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me.
43:29See, everyone?
43:31Butch already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my
43:38wedding to suck up to me.
43:40This is what poor sad girls do.
43:42They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
43:47Projecting much, Marissa?
43:48You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
43:53Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
44:00You, giving me the contract?
44:03You have no skills, no education, no connection, so how could you possibly have a pool to get the US
44:09fucking president to give me a billion dollar contract?
44:13We both share humble beginnings, Marissa. And I saw potential in you. Even trusted you as my best friend.
44:19But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
44:23Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
44:26This is what us rich girls do. They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
44:31Damn right. You were too embarrassing for me. Sasa tramples you any day. I can say that now that I'm
44:39marrying the rich.
44:41Bravo. Self-admission of a gold digger. Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
44:46Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone. She'll make her sup.
44:49Don't listen to her, everyone. She's the gold digging blood sucking leech.
44:53I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch.
44:59You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
45:04Okay, enough! You know what I always couldn't stand about you? Your moral posturing.
45:09But guess what? Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves.
45:14That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
45:17Cause I've got the material goods. And you're just all empty talk.
45:22I'm not here to request to be chosen. Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
45:28See this?
45:40Oh my god. Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
45:46The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
45:48No, absolutely not. I don't believe it.
45:52You all sound so scared already. Don't worry.
45:55This isn't that contract. It's the lease to the modest home you tried to swindle from me.
46:02I don't see everyone. She's just trying to bluff us.
46:06But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
46:08Look at her following orders. I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
46:12Like a good little, uh, peasant slave.
46:15That house is worth all her life savings.
46:21You want to, uh, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
46:34You misunderstand me. I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
46:39And I'm giving it to charity.
46:48Bro, she's gone cuckoo in the head. She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can
46:52pretend to be a deep pocket-investing baddie.
46:55You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
46:57It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
47:00Uh, I-I know what this is.
47:02You've gone delusional.
47:04And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some Prince Charming will
47:08scoop you into money forever?
47:10Well, that's not happening.
47:12Security! Lock the doors. This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
47:19This is where your dreams will die, bitch.
47:24We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
47:26She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
47:29Butch Tanner.
47:30Well, he's gonna wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
47:33Let's go.
47:38You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
47:40I've saved plenty of people from much worse.
47:44Including your head of command, Butch.
47:47General Lysander Armstrong.
47:49You mean the legendary war hero?
47:51He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
47:55You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
47:59So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
48:05No one here is gonna believe you.
48:06If you really cured the incurable General, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
48:12And she's not.
48:12You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
48:16Show them, Butch.
48:22See for yourselves, everyone.
48:25Trixie's just a freeloading beggar.
48:29She won't leave me and Marissa alone cause we're rich as fuck now.
48:34I'm a major in the Marines.
48:36Sasa, she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military.
48:42Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
48:46How despicable.
48:48She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
48:52Get out of here.
48:52No one wants to marry you.
48:54No free meals for the poor!
48:56Do you see this, Trixie?
48:58This is high society.
49:00So you're either born on a silver spoon or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
49:04Maybe if you do some serious dick sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
49:13I already have everything one can dream of.
49:15But I valued our friendship, Marissa.
49:17Which is why I came here to give you a second chance.
49:20To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
49:23But no.
49:24You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
49:28Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
49:32And who knows if you've already started offering sexual services?
49:37Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
49:41My brother will never take you back.
49:44No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
49:47But make me happy?
49:49And I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
50:03How dare you hit my brother!
50:04I'm never letting you leave here alive!
50:07That's awesome!
50:09Don't worry, my dear.
50:11After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
50:16Oh!
50:17Is that so?
50:19Security!
50:22Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
50:27or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck!
50:31I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
50:34Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
50:39Dream on!
50:41You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
50:46You're definitely not good enough for him.
50:48Enough!
50:49You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
50:55On the count of three!
50:57I think I quite like it here.
50:58Two!
50:59Two!
51:09Mmm.
51:10This wine is so delicious.
51:13One!
51:14Shoot!
51:17Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
51:27It's...
51:27It's...
51:37Who the hell is this?
51:42I'm sorry that I'm late.
51:43Did they hurt you?
51:45No.
51:46I'm fine.
51:47But, um...
51:48When did I become your future wife?
51:52You saved me, Trixie.
51:54Remember?
51:55I'm a man of my word.
51:56They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
51:58Really, it was nothing.
52:01I saved you because you're a good man.
52:03Not because I want you to owe me any favors.
52:06Ahem.
52:11I see what this is.
52:12You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
52:15Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
52:17Don't try to pin this on her.
52:18She waited for you for three years.
52:20This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
52:24Virtue?
52:26Don't make me laugh.
52:27She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
52:30No man who, in a hundred foot pole, would want to touch her.
52:34She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
52:41I see her in the Marines.
52:44I'm a major.
52:46Look, man.
52:46I know Trixie is like a...
52:49I don't know.
52:49Like a seven.
52:50Now that she's all cleaned up.
52:52But don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
53:01A real man never talks about a woman that way.
53:05You're a coward.
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