00:02This was a mistake!
00:04Shut up!
00:14You're mad.
00:16Wow.
00:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:34Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster.
00:36I'm Greg Davison. I suit things.
00:39I suit this throne. I suit this suit.
00:41I suit the title of Taskmaster and I suit the power it affords me.
00:46What can I say? I suit things.
00:48I suit boots. I suit fruits. I suit flutes.
00:51And once I was in cahoots with some mute-newts
00:53about a car boot in beaut.
00:56Proof, if it was needed, that the writing of these introductions
01:00is becoming increasingly challenging.
01:02LAUGHTER
01:02No matter, let's take the focus off me
01:05and train the glaring, judgmental super trooper
01:08into the frightened eyes of some human bunnies.
01:11Please welcome...
01:13Fattier El Ghori!
01:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:16Jason Mandzukas!
01:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:19Mattie Baker!
01:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:22Rosie Ramsey!
01:23And Stevie Martin!
01:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:29And next to me, a man whose hobbies include bird-spotting,
01:33writing songs and his absolute favourite,
01:36having extra-marital affairs.
01:38LAUGHTER
01:39Hey, little Eliton!
01:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:45Hey, everyone.
01:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:47Let's get on with the prize tax.
01:49And the category this week is...
01:52The snootiest thing.
01:54Ooh!
01:55There will be five points for the snootiest,
01:58one point for the least snooty,
01:59and the episode winner will go home with some really juicy snooty booty.
02:02Greg, honey, take it away.
02:04LAUGHTER
02:04Stevie, have you got some snooty booty?
02:06Yes.
02:07There are, like, canvases you can get made of your pet.
02:11Erm...
02:12And, er...
02:12I got one made of my pet.
02:15Here is a picture of Stevie's pet.
02:17It's on my wall in my kitchen.
02:19LAUGHTER
02:21There she is!
02:25And I don't think they've done a tortoise before,
02:28so, like, the neck is very bent at a weird angle.
02:31Where is it there?
02:32And where's the shell?
02:32How did they get her in the uniform?
02:35LAUGHTER
02:36They're so...
02:37Americans are so naive, aren't they?
02:40LAUGHTER
02:41And is that her actual rank?
02:44LAUGHTER
02:46OK, cool!
02:49OK.
02:49Fatty, you all right?
02:50Yeah, I'm all right. How are you?
02:51Pretty good.
02:52What have you brought in?
02:54My snooty prize is...
02:56..Swiss chocolate.
02:57Here is the bar of Swiss chocolate she's put up.
02:59The snootiest of all the chocolates.
03:01Yeah.
03:01Ooh!
03:03Yeah, exactly.
03:04See how snooty look at that?
03:05Yeah.
03:06But if you look at the chocolate adverts,
03:08the Swiss ones are so extra,
03:10they've got a little chef and a little hat,
03:12and he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
03:14LAUGHTER
03:15The old French Swiss chef.
03:19And he's all doing that, and they're like,
03:21and there's all this music,
03:23and they live in...
03:24They've got a nice kitchen.
03:26LAUGHTER
03:26Yeah, they do.
03:27They do.
03:28It's ridiculous.
03:29So you bought a bar of chocolate in, yep.
03:31LAUGHTER
03:32Jason, what's snooty in America?
03:34Here's the thing.
03:35This was actually very hard for me,
03:37because in America, snootiness is not a really thing,
03:40so I kind of was at a bit of a loss
03:43to come up with a snooty thing,
03:44but I had a good idea.
03:46I asked my butler what he thought.
03:49LAUGHTER
03:49Geoffreys, get out of here.
03:51Oh, nice.
03:52APPLAUSE
03:53Let's go, let's go.
03:57As my butler, Mr Geoffreys,
03:59asked him what was snooty,
04:00cos he's British,
04:01and he had a great idea.
04:02Show him what you got under there.
04:02Open it up, come on.
04:04Yes.
04:05Butler for a day.
04:06So, if you win this prize,
04:08he'll come and he'll buttle for you for the whole day.
04:11Wow.
04:11That is one snooty prize.
04:14Right?
04:14Well, a round of applause for Mr Geoffreys.
04:16Well done, Mr Geoffreys.
04:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:20I have brought in the Oppidon's cap
04:24from the wall game at Eton College.
04:27Here it is.
04:29Oh, my God, that's so snooty,
04:30I don't even understand it.
04:32The wall game is only played one day of the year,
04:37St Andrew's Day,
04:38and it's only played at Eton College,
04:41the snootiest of all the schools.
04:43Did you go there?
04:44No.
04:45How did you get a cap?
04:46It, I acquired it from a friend.
04:49Is your friend Tom Hiddleston,
04:51Hugh Fernley Whitting Stool,
04:53Bear Grylls,
04:53or Alan Shearer?
04:54All alumni.
04:56And it must be one of those.
04:57Hang on, Alan Shearer?
04:58Alan Shearer?
04:59I didn't believe in either when I wrote it.
05:00Wow.
05:02LAUGHTER
05:05LAUGHTER
05:09Can you give us a vague idea of the rules?
05:11As far as I can tell, it's a rugby scrum up against the wall.
05:15And where does the snooty hat come in?
05:17That's the hat that the Oppidons team wear.
05:20The Oppidons?
05:21Yes.
05:22It's so snooty.
05:24So snooty.
05:24It's beyond language, isn't it?
05:26Very posh.
05:27Rosie?
05:28My snootiest thing is a red wine decanter.
05:31I believe that you've started to drop your north-east accent to introduce this.
05:34Sorry, what?
05:36I don't know what you're talking about.
05:38If Alan Shearer went to Ethan then, so did I.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:41I brought a red wine decanter.
05:43OK, here it is.
05:44Because not many people have these.
05:45I go to friends' houses and they just pour me red wine out of a bottle.
05:50LAUGHTER
05:50And I think, you haven't got a decanter.
05:54Have you got a decanter?
05:56We've got three.
05:58LAUGHTER
05:59OK, well, that is everyone great.
06:00It's really tricky, actually, because one of them I don't understand.
06:04Still.
06:05I remember the Swiss chefs are making their chocolates in kitchens.
06:10LAUGHTER
06:13I'm trying to work out who I'm going to give one point to.
06:16Not me!
06:16It's going to be the chocolate or the decanter,
06:18but I just can't work out which is the least snooty.
06:20You can buy Swiss chocolate in any shop.
06:23You can, like in a supermarket.
06:24Yeah, no, but you can make a decanter.
06:26All I have to do is get a plastic bottle and chop the top.
06:29That's a decanter.
06:31LAUGHTER
06:32I won't have it!
06:33I won't have it!
06:35I won't have it!
06:35Swiss chocolate is made in Switzerland.
06:38Switzerland!
06:40And that, my friend, is the final nail in the coffin.
06:45One point to the chocolate.
06:47One point to the chocolate?
06:48Yeah.
06:50Rosie's decanter, two points.
06:52OK.
06:52We'll have the hired butler with three points.
06:54OK.
06:55I love the snooty tortoise.
06:57Right.
06:57And Matthew's thing is so snooty I still don't know what it is.
07:01It's got to be the snootiest thing.
07:02So, five points to Matthew.
07:03There you go.
07:04Well done.
07:04APPLAUSE
07:08Oh, yes, it is.
07:11And just like Dr Dre, we're going down to the lab to lay down some cool tracks and generally have
07:16a really nice time while we're there.
07:17LAUGHTER
07:28Hi.
07:29Hi.
07:30Hi.
07:31Hello.
07:31Hi, Jason.
07:34What's up?
07:35Welcome to the booth.
07:37This is good.
07:38This makes me feel a bit at home.
07:40Commentate on yourself achieving something really tricky.
07:43Then achieve that really tricky thing.
07:47Most iconic really tricky thing achieved wins.
07:51You have five minutes to record your commentary.
07:54Then 15 minutes to achieve that really tricky thing.
07:59RTT is what I'm going to abbreviate it for from now on.
08:01Your time starts now.
08:04You're going to commentate on yourself as if you're watching yourself on that telly.
08:08Right.
08:08But you're commentating on your future self.
08:10Oh.
08:11So, whatever you describe, you've then got to do.
08:13I've got to do.
08:14But it's got to be really tricky and iconic.
08:16What tricky things can you do?
08:17I was thinking about escapology, but I mean...
08:22I can't actually do that.
08:25LAUGHTER
08:27Can you do anything tricky?
08:29I was going to just lie down.
08:31LAUGHTER
08:36So, RTT, I enjoyed that abbreviation.
08:38I like an abbreviation, do you?
08:39You do. You do. You do.
08:42He does.
08:43Let's see some tricky stuff.
08:45So, they had to commentate on themselves doing a really tricky thing
08:47before they did the really tricky thing.
08:49Stevie and Rosie are up first, i.e.
08:52are the last two letters of their names.
08:54And remember, they chose to do these things.
08:58OK, the moment we've all been waiting for.
09:00Here she is, Mrs. Rosemary Ramsay.
09:03We've been waiting for this all year.
09:05She's making her way into the dome.
09:07Now, you may not know this at home, but Rosie has a very, very special way
09:10of getting ready for the competition.
09:13If you've seen her before, you'll know.
09:14There she is.
09:15What she likes to do, well, you're going to see it in a minute.
09:16She likes to have a little sniff of the air.
09:19Yeah.
09:19Good old scratch of the genitals.
09:21Yeah.
09:22From and back.
09:23Oh, that's a new one.
09:24That's a new one.
09:24She's never done the back before.
09:26All right, she is ready for this competition.
09:27OK, OK, and it's coming.
09:29Yes, there it is.
09:30There it is.
09:31Every time.
09:31This is what she does.
09:32Projectile vomiting.
09:34Here she is.
09:35Martin.
09:36Stepping up to the plate.
09:38Is she behind the line?
09:39Yes.
09:40Quick check.
09:41She's behind the line.
09:42She bends.
09:44She has a few bends.
09:46I think that's too many bends.
09:48Ah, sick from Martin there.
09:50Alex looking pretty frightened.
09:53Here we go.
09:54She's ready for the question.
09:57The adjudicator is ready.
09:59All right, there we go.
10:00Nine times nine.
10:02Come on, Rosie, you can do this.
10:04She's getting her fingers out.
10:05Sadly, Rosie didn't do very well at school.
10:07So she's going to use the tactic that she was taught in year five maths.
10:12This is it.
10:12This is it.
10:13Come on.
10:13Come on.
10:14We're ready.
10:15Come on.
10:15What is it?
10:15What is it?
10:16You know this.
10:1881.
10:2081.
10:21She's done it.
10:21She's done it.
10:22She's done it.
10:2581.
10:26Oh, she's vomiting.
10:27It's not.
10:28It's OK.
10:29No, she's going to have nothing left.
10:30Well done, Rosie.
10:31Brilliant.
10:31Brilliant.
10:33She's flexing.
10:34She's flexing her arms.
10:37She's going.
10:38And she's off.
10:39She's off.
10:39She's over.
10:40And she's headed it right into the top corner.
10:43Let's see that again.
10:45I'm presuming there's a three-play.
10:48Yes!
10:58Oh, wow.
10:59Look at her go.
11:01Quite an intense celebration there from Martin.
11:04She's doing a forward roll.
11:07Oh, her and Alex high-fiving.
11:08Yes!
11:10Not to see it.
11:18What is this sport?
11:21So, I've never done a leapfrog before, so I wanted to do that.
11:26I've also never scored a goal, so I thought I could do both simultaneously and crucially,
11:30while I was in the air, I thought that would be quite tricky.
11:32I mean, you landed perfectly on his back.
11:35Yes!
11:36Scrambled his head around.
11:37But it was genuinely impressive.
11:39Now, Rosie.
11:40Yes.
11:40As far as I can work out, the sport is...
11:43Tricky numbers.
11:44Yes.
12:04Do you know the trick of the nine times tables, on your hands?
12:08I mean, I think probably everyone in the room can do this.
12:11Let's see how fast you are.
12:12Seven nines.
12:1463.
12:15Ask me another one.
12:17But I'm not impressed, right?
12:18Yes, but also...
12:18You can't go over nine for this system.
12:22So, I can't say 11 nines.
12:24Oh, no.
12:25LAUGHTER
12:27OK, time for a break.
12:29Here we are, Alex.
12:30That's it.
12:31Good boy.
12:32Good boy.
12:34APPLAUSE
12:46Welcome back, everybody.
12:48Yes, and it really is high from me too.
12:51Before the break, the task found our athletes having to commentate
12:54on themselves, achieving something really tricky
12:56before achieving that really tricky thing.
12:58Now for the attempts of Fatia L. Gorey and Matthew L. Bainton.
13:03I can record two commentaries so that I've got a backup.
13:08Today we get to see the magnificent athlete Fatia L. Gorey
13:12fly a plane through the Taskmaster dome.
13:15And here comes Bainton with the iconic 19 vest.
13:21Give me a warm-up.
13:22Ready to take on the really tricky thing
13:26of keepy-uppies with a tennis ball.
13:30He's got, funnily enough, 19 to beat to take home the goal.
13:36And in her hand we see A4 white paper.
13:40So this looks very tricky because she's got really little fingers.
13:44We're very worried that she might get a paper cut,
13:46but she's been working with Andy Murray's coach.
13:49And at this point it's almost certain that he's done...
13:54Ten keepy-uppies!
13:56Nine that time.
13:58No!
13:59Twenty keepy-uppies!
14:02Thirty keepy-uppies!
14:06Iconic!
14:07And here we go, any minute now.
14:09Here we go, here we go, here we go.
14:10Oh, and there it is!
14:12Well done, Fatia.
14:13She is the best.
14:19Can we go closer?
14:20Good idea.
14:21This is your 50th attempt.
14:23People will say, don't pick something you can't do.
14:25But this has to be really tricky.
14:27And I think I've proved that.
14:29Where are the grapes?
14:30She's rocking a little bit.
14:32And she's going to throw it any second now.
14:34And it's gone in through the dome.
14:37I mean, I didn't doubt her, but I was a little bit sceptical.
14:41Magnificent athlete.
14:42And here comes Blaynton.
14:44To try and attempt the record for the highest thrown and caught-in-the-mouth grape.
14:53Oh, that first attempt didn't play out.
14:57And there's no rules about how many attempts you're allowed, so that's fine.
15:02Oh, he's really slung that one.
15:04Oh, he's caught it!
15:08Unbelievable scenes!
15:11That's a really tricky thing.
15:15Iconic!
15:20With a whistle of hindsight, knowing how good you are at keeping uppies,
15:24was 19 the right goal to set yourself?
15:26I thought, with a football, it wouldn't be that impressive.
15:29It wouldn't look like an RTT.
15:31So I went...
15:33I went tennis ball and I overestimated my ability.
15:37But, the great thing, different story.
15:41But, was it an RTT? He did it on his second go.
15:44But it was as high as the...
15:45It was high.
15:46Yes. Iconic is what we're looking for.
15:48I think it's strong.
15:49OK.
15:50I thought yours was good as well.
15:51Don't blame me.
15:52I'm not blame you.
15:54Lovely attention to detail.
15:56Andy Murray's coach.
15:57He's jumped over from tennis.
15:59Why not?
16:01How did you feel about the first attempt?
16:04Awful.
16:05But the second?
16:06I mean, I was surprised by how excited I was.
16:10You want to see someone else?
16:11Yeah.
16:12It's time for the handsome stranger from overseas.
16:14Yes, it's Jason Manzoukas.
16:16Ooh.
16:16And here we are back again at Taskmaster Sports.
16:20Up next, Jason Manzoukas.
16:22He's exiting the Taskmaster house with undue confidence.
16:26But can he achieve an iconic tricky thing?
16:30We don't know.
16:31Alex Horne is following him behind,
16:32wondering what exactly is Jason Manzoukas up to?
16:35Oh, he's getting on top of the hunch.
16:39Manzoukas is.
16:40He's got a ladder.
16:41He's got a ladder and he's trying to get it onto the roof.
16:44I've said it, so it is happening.
16:47He's starting to scale the roof.
16:49Alex Horne is freaking out.
16:51Never before in Taskmaster history has anybody gotten onto the roof,
16:54but American comedian Jason Manzoukas is going to be the first person in history.
16:59Oh, Alex Horne is on the phone.
17:00Alex is shutting it down.
17:02Alex is shutting down the most iconic, really tricky thing that's ever been attempted.
17:07Jason Manzoukas is now being pulled off of the roof by a bunch of people dressed just like him?
17:14Is this what he makes them do, huh?
17:17I'm being told that Jason Manzoukas makes everyone in the crew dress exactly like him when he's shooting
17:22so that everybody knows what it feels like to be great.
17:25His words, not mine.
17:28Well, they've got him down.
17:29He's safe, but the really tricky thing has not been achieved.
17:33Another failure for Jason Manzoukas.
17:37What a piece of shit.
17:44Nailed it.
17:46Sure.
17:47Full-throated commentary.
17:48Oh, yeah.
17:49A lot of excitement from you.
17:50the
17:51.
17:51And what are you doing?
17:53It doesn't make her laugh!
34:11I Todos.
34:18I'm not a fan ofźbæmni.
34:21All that kind of thing is that this was a fan of cash.
34:26That's it.
34:29You can buy a Christmas day.
34:31Let's go, that's it.
39:48I'm sorry.
39:50I'm sorry.
39:52I'm sorry.
39:53.
39:54.
39:54.
39:54.
39:55.
40:56It's my first time.
40:58She is the first time.
41:00I think it's time for a while.
41:03I feel like it's time for a while.
41:09I feel like it's time.
41:09It's time for a while.
41:53I don't know the word, but I don't know the word.
42:02I thought it was the littling thing, but I never heard it when it was a man.
42:05I don't know I think it would be good.
42:11I think it'll be good.
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