04:35M.K.
06:34Kav says.
06:35I think he might need surgery.
06:40What's all that whispering about?
06:42I knew what I hoped it was.
06:43I was reluctant to say anything until it went through,
06:46but I submitted me and JD for the amazing race.
06:48Do you think you could cover for him for a month?
06:50Well, only the father of medicine could cover for that man.
06:53And he's fine, too.
06:55Gorgeous.
06:56Thank you.
06:57When are you going to stop needing his approval?
06:59I don't know, Turk. When are you going to stop loving Carla?
07:02JD, that is not an appropriate comparison.
07:03The thing I don't get is, if Cox is just here for dinner,
07:06why is he hanging around the hospital all day?
07:08Do you think he's getting intel about my work as a chief?
07:10Who cares? Everybody thinks you're doing a great job.
07:13Just keep singing that psych-up song you sing in your office every morning.
07:15Oh, I didn't know you could hear that.
07:17But I don't care, because, baby, I am a firework.
07:24Dr. Reed, I bolus the hypertonic saline solution for Tina.
07:28Wait, you did what?
07:35Oh, my God.
07:38You can't bolus hypertonic saline.
07:40You have to calculate the sodium deficit.
07:42Get me a nurse.
07:42Tell them to bring D, D, A, D, P, and D, 5, W.
07:45I didn't know.
07:45Will she be okay?
07:46I don't know, Dr. Tosh.
07:47Move out of the way.
07:49Just get out of the room.
07:51Notify neurology.
07:52Hey, did you see Danny's chest X-ray?
07:54Let me guess.
07:55Inconclusive with possible opacity.
07:57We should give him the antibiotics.
07:59It could be a viral pneumonia with bacterial superinfection.
08:01What it is, is a radiologist covering their ass.
08:04If they say it's inconclusive,
08:06then they're not responsible in the 0.0001% chance that it is pneumonia.
08:12Yeah, but we're on the hook if it is.
08:13Are you really letting your patient dictate how you treat him?
08:16You have the vibe of a dom top, but you doctor like a sub-bottom.
08:19I bartended at a gay bar, so I know what that means.
08:22And if being a sub-bottom means not getting sued or worse,
08:25then give it to me, Daddy.
08:30How's my patient?
08:31You have to see how he does after he gets out of recovery.
08:33I don't understand.
08:35I did everything right.
08:36I caught the infection early, but he still got worse.
08:39Kid, you gotta figure out a way to cope with stress.
08:43You know what?
08:44I have a method I use that could help.
08:46Follow me.
08:48All right, the rules of the game are simple.
08:50You must jump off the physical therapy trampoline
08:52and then shoot the mannequin's head into the bin.
08:55Got it?
08:55I don't think I can hit that.
08:57Maybe, maybe not, but when my daughter was in NICU,
08:59all I could do was wait, and this saved my life.
09:02Pro tip.
09:03Elbows in, fingertips on the eyelids.
09:05Let's go.
09:06You can do it.
09:14Even if she lives, she could have neurologic deficit or be in a coma.
09:18Gosh, you can't beat yourself up.
09:19If I kill someone?
09:20Well, when you put her like that, I...
09:22But none of that has happened.
09:24Hopefully, she'll be okay.
09:26Moments like this live with interns forever.
09:28When a patient is a victim of a mistake, doctors are the second victim.
09:32Tosh, I know all your Julian is worrying about that patient,
09:35but it's my job to worry about you.
09:37I want you to go see a counselor right now.
09:41Honestly, the only positive right now is that my mentor wasn't here to see everything fall apart.
09:48I knew white guys were bad at this, but British white guys are the worst.
09:51I can't stand this waiting.
09:53There has to be something else we can do for the patient.
09:55Kid, there isn't.
09:56We both did everything we could.
09:57So now's the time to let it go or leave it with God or the universe or whatever it is
10:01you believe in.
10:02Well, that's never worked for me.
10:03But okay, I believe if you make that basket, our patient will be okay.
10:08I don't like putting that type of pressure on myself.
10:10We're doing this to take our minds off of it.
10:13But, uh, okay.
10:15Come on.
10:15Let me show you how it's done.
10:16You ready for this?
10:17Here we go.
10:27I don't believe in bald-on-bald violence, but you've given me no choice.
10:31Run.
10:32Watch out.
10:33He's mad.
10:36That's the thing about this place.
10:39Sometimes all you can do is let go and hope things work out.
10:45I have some good news.
10:48Tina's stable.
10:49She's going to be all right.
10:50Oh, thank God.
10:51You made a huge mistake, and you got real lucky.
10:55And hopefully you never have to get this lucky again.
11:00Chris is alert and doing well.
11:03Nice shot, Dr. Turk.
11:09Mrs. Johnson, I have some good news.
11:12The good news is I was right and you were wrong.
11:16Danny's fever broke without antibiotics.
11:19I'm pretty sure the good news is that Danny's okay.
11:23Listen, I know you blame yourself for that woman who died in the parking lot,
11:27but doctoring scared will never be what's best for your patients.
11:31And, by the way, I knew you bartended at night gliders.
11:34I recognized you the minute you stepped foot in here.
11:37Yeah?
11:37Well, I remember you, too.
11:38You were the only guy who didn't tip.
11:40Yeah, well, you were the only bartender who wouldn't sleep with me.
11:45Congratulations.
11:45We had three very sick patients, and they're all going to be okay.
11:49We beat the odds.
11:51So enjoy it around here that doesn't happen all that often.
11:54Oh, Dr. Cox.
11:56I didn't see you over there.
11:57Do you want to give one of your famous
11:58I believed in you the whole time speeches?
12:03No, I...
12:04Oh, my God.
12:05Dr. Cox!
12:05Dr. Cox!
12:06Get out of the way!
12:07Boom!
12:07Boom!
12:08It's time for E-FAPS!
12:13It doesn't matter how many people you save.
12:16When one of your own falls, it hits deep.
12:19Why didn't you come to me if you haven't been feeling well?
12:22Because I knew you'd turn this into some overwrought emo crybaby feelings fest.
12:25Until I can practically hear the indie moat music playing in your head right now.
12:32I'm just saying, I can't believe you went with Dr. Park over me.
12:34Eh, well, he probably knew you'd turn this into some sort of overwrought emo crybaby.
12:38I already said.
12:39Oh.
12:40Well, the good news is, your scans and tumor markers came back negative, so it's not cancer.
12:45Thank God.
12:45You're still waiting on your SED rates, ANCA and CRP.
12:48We'll know more later this afternoon.
12:50Thank you, Dr. Park.
12:51I'd like to take over Perry's care from here.
12:52Not happening there, Dr. Nurse Jackie.
12:55Come on, you can barely hold it together with patients coming in off the street.
12:58How are you going to be objective with me?
13:00And besides, look at yourself.
13:01You're already emotional and you haven't done anything yet.
13:04Well, true.
13:04I updated your weight.
13:06Congrats on keeping it tight.
13:07J.D., we both know if you had to walk into this room and tell me that I was dying,
13:11it would break you.
13:12No, it would break me if you didn't give me the opportunity to help you by doing everything that you
13:18trained me to do.
13:19It's still not happening.
13:20And besides, there is no training for the maniacal patient I plan on being.
13:23Cujo, old yeller, pick your rabid dog, and I'm going to best him.
13:27Now, I will be removing my own IV because your nurses gave me regular saline instead of D5W.
13:36Oh, my God.
13:38I think he's actually tearing up because you mentioned old yeller.
13:40I'm not tearing up.
13:41I'm not a child.
13:42I don't need to be protected, okay?
13:44And if you want someone who's going to take you behind the shed and shoot you, go with this idiot.
13:51Dr. Tosh, full disclosure, outside of this room, Dr. Reed and I have been enjoying a blossoming female friendship.
13:58But in here, she's simply participant A and you're participant B.
14:02Participant A, you have the floor.
14:04I know this morning was really traumatic, and I'm just really glad that you're talking about it.
14:10That was very nice, participant A.
14:12Participant B, would you like to read aloud your formal complaint against Dr. Reed?
14:17What?
14:17You told me to raise the sodium on our patient but didn't guide me on how to do it.
14:21Yeah, because you should already know how to do that.
14:22She told me to get out of the room.
14:24You almost killed someone.
14:26Okay, you can't say that.
14:27She screwed up.
14:29You can't say that either.
14:30You made me feel terrible.
14:32It just makes me want to quit.
14:33I'm trying to teach you.
14:36What am I allowed to say?
14:37We'll be covering that in your mandatory bi-weekly seminar.
14:40Oh, so stupid.
14:44Friendship Sibi here.
14:45I hear you, and we will bitch about this later.
14:49Business Sibi?
14:50You can't say that.
14:55You are not a doctor in this hospital.
14:57You cannot change your own medication.
14:59This is, in fact, the same level of pain meds you'd give to a woman having a C-section.
15:04But since my doula and I have already discussed having a natural childbirth, we're going to be lowering the dose.
15:09Or I'm going to take this America's Best Number One Pudding and decorate your wall with it.
15:16You can have this hot mess.
15:17He's all yours.
15:20Oh.
15:20I see you've extended your reign of terror to the staff.
15:23I gave him something to talk to his friends about around the hospital.
15:26You know, I've actually come to appreciate your teaching style.
15:30I mean, not all of it.
15:31I did not think it was necessary to call me a prostitute who caters exclusively to clowns.
15:35I still wish me a laugh at the car sometimes.
15:40And for what it's worth, I was too harsh with you.
15:45Sometimes I sit up at night thinking I actually could have driven you out of this place.
15:48And if I had, it would have been my biggest failure and my greatest regret.
15:55I appreciate that.
15:57God, let me be.
15:58Will you have some decorating I need to attend to?
16:00Oh, please let him.
16:02I'm going to rub his nose in it like a nasty dog.
16:07You know, I've never actually had to sleep in one of these things.
16:09But I am not leaving your side until we get your results.
16:14Judy, would you, uh...
16:17Would you pray with me?
16:20Wow.
16:20First curveball.
16:21Well, of course.
16:25Cox was never religious.
16:26But when you're facing your own mortality, you'll try anything.
16:30Dear God, or whosoever up there, I know I haven't exactly turned to you pretty much ever, but...
16:38I need you now.
16:40So please, Lord, let that chair fold in on J.D. and quietly suffocate him so that I might have
16:46a few moments of peace.
16:47If these are, in fact, my last few moments.
16:49Thanks, God.
16:50Go ahead.
16:51Make your jokes.
16:52But I know you're scared.
16:54For once, just let me be there for you.
16:58And there it was.
16:59His test results.
17:00I knew how I wanted this to play out.
17:04Congratulations.
17:05You're the one millionth person to click on best results.
17:09You've won $10,000 and a brand new jet ski.
17:13Oh, no, not you.
17:15Oh, no, not you.
17:15Scram.
17:15J.D., come on, amigo.
17:17Yes.
17:18To the lake.
17:20Woo-hoo!
17:21But that's not how these things go.
17:23Go ahead.
17:25Well, don't sugarcoat it.
17:28Because I understand what everything means on there.
17:38Dr. Tosh, you got a second?
17:45You said that I made you feel like quitting.
17:48I hope you're a real failure on my part if you did.
17:52But I would also be failing as a teacher if I didn't hold you accountable for your mistakes.
17:59I know I messed up.
18:02I was just afraid of it and I wasn't good enough to be here.
18:04So I blamed you.
18:06And I'm really sorry.
18:09Come here.
18:11It's okay.
18:14You know, you come across a lot more confident.
18:16That's just a part of my brand.
18:20There are many things we fool ourselves into thinking we have control over.
18:24I'll make this cocks.
18:25It's going to be okay.
18:26It's going to be okay, cocks.
18:27Come on.
18:30That's it.
18:31I'm going to rip your head off and do this with it.
18:33Hey, that counts.
18:36That counts!
18:37But the truth is we can never predict what's in store for us.
18:40Just give me a hug, man.
18:41You saved my man.
18:42All we can do is be there for each other when the odds are against us.
18:50It isn't great.
18:52But it could be worse.
18:54Worse than my own body attacking itself?
18:56It's an autoimmune disease, for God's sake.
18:59There's no cure for this.
19:01It's a matter of managing the crisis that's going to be thrown my way in the bottom of the ninth.
19:05Perry, you know this disease has a high survival rate, especially since we caught it early.
19:09Well, in the beginning stages of renal failure, J.D.
19:11Yeah, but you can slow all that down.
19:13With aggressive treatment and immunosuppressants, microscopic polyangitis can easily go into remission.
19:21Did you really think that this couldn't happen?
19:25That just because we're out there taking care of all of them, it would get some kind of karmic immunity
19:30to protect us from what's coming for us all?
19:36Death.
19:41Will you promise me that you'll keep me alive for a very long time?
19:48Because I don't want my death to be the thing that makes you cynical.
19:52I promise that.
19:53Let me finish.
19:55Because I won't be around here to enjoy it.
19:59And even death, I couldn't bear the irony.
20:03All I can hear is that you're going to let me be your doctor.
20:06I'm already tingling from the prospect of our sponge pastor, Agatha.
20:12I tried to protect you from this.
20:17Everything I had.
20:22But I am so scared.
20:27I have a plan.
20:30And I don't care if you don't like it.
20:33It is the best path forward.
20:36Turk had asked me when I'd stop needing Dr. Cox's approval.
20:40Okay.
20:41It was now.
20:43Because now, and I got you,
20:46he needed me.
20:53Listen up, failures.
20:55Watch it, watch it.
20:56To whomever had the cojones to stuff their greedy face hole with the sandwich I had so caught,
21:01barely labeled with my name.
21:04I hope you enjoyed it,
21:05because I will be slicing you open, extracting it,
21:08and feeding it to you once again.
21:09But this time, it won't be orally.
21:12Mmm, bye.
21:14Look how many views you have.
21:15It's gone totally viral.
21:17All these DJs are remixing it.
21:18People just love it.
21:22Bring her to me.
21:25Bow bow!
21:27Bow!
21:29Bow!
21:30Bow!
21:30Bow!
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