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00:22Imagine if we had the opportunity to hear from a cultural icon after they've passed away.
00:28A chance for them to shape their own legacy to be heard one last time in their own words.
00:36Eric Dane's charm and magnetic presence quickly solidified his stature as a TV star.
00:42He is most recognized for his role as Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy, the longest-running medical drama in
00:49TV history.
00:50Millions were captivated when his character stepped out of a steam shower and he became McSteamy.
00:56Oh, this is awkward.
00:59And then there was his painfully raw, brutal, and honest portrayal of Count Jacobs on Euphoria.
01:07Throughout his career, Eric played the heartthrob, the athlete, the hero, and the villain.
01:17Always with the same seemingly effortless charm, authenticity, and depth.
01:24His role as father to his two daughters, Billy and Georgia, was the one that mattered the most to him,
01:31though.
01:33He was resilient in his battle against ALS, an incurable disease that paralyzed much of his body, but never his
01:40spirit.
01:43With his passing, the world has lost the beloved leading man in the prime of his life.
01:49Before he died, Eric Dane sat down for a deeply meaningful conversation, at the end of which he was given
01:56the opportunity to speak directly to the world and deliver his final message.
02:01Knowing that what you're about to see would not air until after he passed away, even if that meant locking
02:09away the footage for months or even years.
02:12These are Eric Dane's famous last words.
02:20Special for you on the runway.
02:24Well, you had to get me out of here somewhere.
02:27Somehow, right?
02:27And I think that Fireman's Carry would have been asking a lot.
02:32Exactly.
02:34I'm just going to lock it.
02:35Great.
02:38Lock.
02:39Well done, Brad.
02:40You're stuck here with me now.
02:47What is it?
02:48Are you stuck in here with me or am I stuck in here with you, right?
02:51Exactly.
02:53You still have a sense of humor about everything?
02:56Very much so.
02:57Did you have moments when you didn't or it came back or?
03:01No.
03:02I'm always had a sense of humor about this.
03:05It's really kind of interesting what's happening to my body.
03:09The mechanics of this disease is pretty interesting to me.
03:15So when you zoom in and look at how it affects the individual moments is what it can actually bring
03:23you down a little bit.
03:24And, you know, I'm a complainer.
03:28I've always historically been like the guy that would bitch and moan on his way to doing anything.
03:36Um, but my spirit has been surprisingly pretty buoyant throughout this journey.
03:43Why do you think it is?
03:45I have no idea.
03:46There's no reason for me to be, you know, happy in any individual moment.
03:53But what I am.
03:56And is that something you think someone who isn't sick can experience?
04:01I think they don't understand the concept.
04:05I don't know if they'll actually experience it like somebody who's terminally ill.
04:11Right.
04:12And what it means to be alive has changed for you.
04:16Every day.
04:17The progression of this thing is really just, uh, remarkable.
04:24You know, I'm sure I sound pretty good to you, but to me, I feel like I'm, I sound like
04:29a frog or...
04:31I sit here in nothing but respect and awe of you and your strength, so you sound good to me.
04:39Good.
04:40And so we're here in this, uh, special room, this set, where we're totally private.
04:47And, uh, there's no camera people operating in here.
04:50They're in another room, so they can't hear what we're talking about.
04:53Mm-hmm.
04:54And the point of this, always, for, for everyone we, we talk to here,
04:59is, is an opportunity to, to find themselves when everybody's trying to define them,
05:05an opportunity for them to be really known.
05:08And you and I talked about, we wanted this, our intention to be a little bit more specific
05:13in that we really want at the end of this that your children will really know you
05:22in a way maybe they wouldn't have had the opportunity to get to know you.
05:25Mm-hmm.
05:26You know, when this, when people are watching this,
05:30um, you'll have died.
05:34Is that a complicated thing to consider?
05:37Because part of it is relief and part of it is, uh, every, every minute,
05:42no matter what you're feeling, you're going to want to be present to?
05:46Yeah.
05:49It's a weird concept to kind of grapple with.
05:55Um, you and I are talking here right now and we're both very alive and, you know, at the
06:03same time when this, um, exists, if it ever does, I won't be here.
06:11What's that feel like?
06:15Um, it's kind of cool, I think.
06:20Um...
06:21How so?
06:21Well, it's just, um, the idea of, um, of living on past, uh, the moment when you, when you
06:36piece up, um, it's pretty, it's pretty interesting to me.
06:42Speaking from the dead.
06:44Speaking from the dead.
06:46Yeah.
06:47Oh, that's, that's what you're doing right now.
06:49Yeah.
06:52I'm going to read your bio.
06:54Okay.
06:57Eric William Dane.
06:59You were born November 9th, 1972, in San Francisco, California.
07:04Your mother, Leah Cohen, was a homemaker.
07:07Your father, William Dane Melvin, was a Navy airman who became an architect and an interior
07:13designer.
07:14He died when you were seven.
07:16You have a younger brother, Sean.
07:18You were married to Rebecca Gayhart, a model and actress for more than 20 years.
07:23You're still married to her today.
07:24Yeah, that's true.
07:27Uh, you share two daughters, Georgia and Billy.
07:29Billy is named after your father.
07:31Mm-hmm.
07:32What was the thinking behind that?
07:34My firstborn was always going to be Billy, whether it was a boy or a girl.
07:40And she's got kind of a cool name.
07:43Billy Dane.
07:44Mm-hmm.
07:47Sounds like a gunfighter.
07:48Yeah, exactly.
07:50Is Georgia named after anyone?
07:51I think Rebecca just loved that name.
07:54You have been in an interesting and impressive collection of shows.
07:58Saved by the Bell, The Wonder Years, Roseanne, Married with Children, Silk Stockings, and Charmed,
08:05amongst many others.
08:06In 2006, your one-time guest role as Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy ignited a fan hysteria
08:13so intense, the show was rewritten to make you into a leading man.
08:18After that, you starred as Captain Tom Chandler on The Last Ship, followed by your critically
08:22acclaimed performance as Cal Jacobs on HBO's Euphoria.
08:26Since you were diagnosed with ALS, you have been a tireless champion for expanding access
08:31to ALS treatment, raising money, and bringing hope, dignity, and grace to the thousands impacted
08:37by the disease.
08:38And when this is broadcast, all of that work will be finished, and your body will be at
08:44rest.
08:46How does it feel to hear your bio like that?
08:51Well, it feels like an interesting story in there somewhere.
09:02I'm proud of some of it.
09:06Some of them, you know, you don't fuck it, I'm dead.
09:09I'm proud of all of it.
09:12You know, all of it got me to wear a hammer today.
09:18Some of it, my father's always hard to hear, you know, because that was such a wasted life.
09:25He was so talented.
09:30But there was a ton of experience in there, life experience, personal, professional.
09:40I think when I really tried to be good and approach the craft with a certain amount of
09:47effort and focus, that I was capable of doing some pretty good work.
09:55Yeah, certainly your work on Euphoria.
09:58That is, that, that to me is masterwork.
10:02I, I put a lot of effort into that.
10:06What's a personal connection to that character that you found?
10:10There's something so vulnerable, there's something so exposed there.
10:16Well, Cal and I are very similar in that we know what it's like to lead a double life.
10:24I've, I've had experience with that, with, uh, my battle with drugs and alcohol.
10:31I know what it's like to not have my, my insides match my outside.
10:37And do you think that's, that's what your dad struggled with?
10:43I think my father struggled with life.
10:48And, uh, he never felt he was enough.
10:52So when you were seven, your father died by suicide or an accident.
10:59I guess there was some conversation, but I'm not sure which one you think it was.
11:02I don't think, uh, somebody who's that intoxicated would, uh, play with a gun in a bathroom by themselves for
11:21fun.
11:23And so I think my father, in that moment, meant to do it.
11:29You know, I just, I, I can think about how lonely my father must have been.
11:36And how scared he must have been.
11:42Um, it's heartbreaking.
11:45Does it make you emotional even now as you think about it, his loneliness?
11:54Yes.
11:55And do you, do you connect it, can you connect with that loneliness?
11:59Can you empathize?
12:01Do you feel, have you've had that, those, that level of loneliness as well?
12:05100%.
12:08I get feel lonely in a crowded room.
12:14And has that always been your experience of what it meant to be Eric?
12:17Was that Eric was, was lonely?
12:19Yeah, I've always felt detached from my peers at a, historically, a very difficult time connecting with people.
12:37And, you know, four months after my father died, my grandmother died, who I lived with.
12:45And you were very close to her?
12:46Very close.
12:48That was almost as impactful, maybe more so than my dad.
12:53She really took care of me.
12:56What was she like?
12:57She was great, man.
12:59She was like, she was so much fun.
13:02I remember putting on this record, she put on the same record, every day.
13:08Which one?
13:08It was Engelbert Humperdinck.
13:10Oh, my God.
13:10And it was Quando, tell me, Quando, Quando, Quando.
13:16And she would play it all day, on repeat, dance around.
13:20She was just wonderful.
13:22Wow.
13:23And she would take the San Francisco Chronicle, and cut out the Dennis the Menace cartoon every day, and put
13:32it on the fridge, because she was convinced that I was him.
13:39So there was something there, always.
13:42Whether it was mischief, or charm, or whatever you want to call it, I think there was something there.
13:50A rascal.
13:51A rascal.
13:53You know, maintain that.
13:55Always, your whole life?
13:56Yes.
13:58And she was your dad's mom, or your mom's mom?
14:00My mom's mom.
14:01And your mom was less involved, or less maternal?
14:07My mom was young.
14:10I think she did the best she could with the tools she had available to her.
14:17I know that you've told the story before about when your mother told you that he had committed suicide.
14:24You were seven.
14:25Yeah.
14:26And she woke you up in the middle of the night.
14:27Yes.
14:28And before she would tell you, she told you over and over, I need you to promise to be strong.
14:32I need you to promise to be strong.
14:33As a seven-year-old.
14:34There's a, um, a real sort of block, I think, in the, in the empathy department.
14:45And I think it's because she's got a black belt in denial.
14:51Um.
14:52What is she denying?
14:54I think she's denying that it could have such a profound impact on me.
15:00On you?
15:01Yeah.
15:02Also, I don't think she's pulling something that, uh, I had this disease.
15:09You know, I think she's still hanging on to the idea that there's going to be a miracle cured a
15:16year from now.
15:18And it's denial.
15:19It's not hope.
15:20She's not hopeful.
15:21It's denial.
15:23Listen, um, I don't blame her.
15:28My kid at ALS?
15:31I would, I would cling to that, too.
15:34Yeah.
15:35You cling with your mother?
15:38Oh, no.
15:39Well, now you open up Pandora's box, Brad.
15:43That's a whole other show.
15:46My mother always felt like I was a challenging.
15:49And you referred to me as a challenging child.
15:54And whether it was because you saw part of the magnatomy or I was just difficult.
16:01You were Dennis the Menace, you said.
16:03I was Dennis the Menace.
16:05And even today, when I bring things up, you know, she's like, um, well, you know, can't you just get
16:13past this?
16:15And, you know, it happened so long ago.
16:18Why is it still affecting you?
16:20Um, and I think trauma reaches somebody on a cellular level.
16:28It's really hard to get it out of your system.
16:32In fact, probably impossible.
16:35The only thing you can do is learn how to deal with it.
16:39I've been working through it for a long time.
16:43I, uh, I ended up going to a treatment center for trauma and depression.
16:52Mostly related to your dad?
16:55Well, solely related to my dad.
16:57Because that's where the trauma came from.
17:01Do you have, like, a memory of the moment of being hit with that information?
17:06And the trauma setting in or something shutting off at that moment?
17:09Shutting off.
17:12Don't feel.
17:13Be strong to me, man.
17:15Don't feel.
17:16Don't cry.
17:17I wanted to explode.
17:19Hmm.
17:23But I had to keep it in.
17:26In a way, I suppose your father, he couldn't do that for himself.
17:30He clearly...
17:31No.
17:33No.
17:34That was not on the table.
17:40Hmm.
17:41Did you feel moments in life where you were missing your dad wasn't there for it?
17:45I mean, you were a big athlete.
17:47You were playing water polo.
17:49You were achieving a lot out in the world.
17:51Were there moments when you said,
17:52Oh, man, only dad could be here for this?
17:59Marie.
18:08Have you ever talked to him?
18:11I've written letters to him.
18:14Not so much lately.
18:17I think I've found real peace around it.
18:20It still makes me feel, but I think I've really found some peace around it.
18:28Does he ever talk to you?
18:30Do you ever hear his voice?
18:32No.
18:34Um...
18:35I've got a very controversial relationship with the universe right now.
18:39I can't see why.
18:43So when you say that, though, like, at this point, again, as people are watching this, you are at peace.
18:50Your body is at peace.
18:53So where are you?
18:55What is your belief about this?
18:57Well, my honest answer?
19:00I think when the lights go out, it's over.
19:07I don't believe that there's another place for our souls to go.
19:15So I think people believe that stuff because it provides them with a lot of comfort.
19:24But, um, I've really come to grips with it.
19:28And I think once the lights go out, out with the old, in with the new.
19:35Have you always believed that?
19:37I think so, yeah.
19:40Right to believe that when we go to sleep, or however it is we go, once we're gone, we're gone.
19:50And we live on in the memories of the people that will miss us.
19:58I imagine there's a lot of people missing you a lot right now.
20:02So you're definitely living on.
20:04Yeah.
20:07If I were to ask Georgia and Billy, who was their dad?
20:12What do you think they'd say?
20:17I think they would, they would lead with, um, I'm a reactive person.
20:26My dad was a reactive person.
20:29What would they mean by that?
20:31Not necessarily a negative connotation, but some of their core memories involved me reacting to something.
20:41Like, give me, give me something.
20:43Uh, you know, uh, traffic is always a good, a good impetus for that.
20:51Yeah.
20:52Um, and I think they would, they would say that I was pretty tough.
20:59Tough as in strong, as in?
21:01Resilient.
21:02Resilient.
21:02Yeah.
21:04I would say I was loving.
21:05And I was, I was really endearing and compassionate and empathetic and, um, trustworthy.
21:18A good dad?
21:20I'm a good dad, yeah.
21:22They, they, they know that they, they, uh, they would think that too?
21:26Mm-hmm.
21:26Mm-hmm.
21:27Yeah.
21:29We did some really great traveling, saw some wonderful places.
21:33Any particular moment that comes to your mind, highlight that comes to your mind of something you guys did together?
21:38I went to Europe one year, um, and then there was a time where I was, uh, we were ripping
21:49through the French countryside with the kids and back in this crazy little car we rented.
21:55Um, and I was flying through the French countryside, um, and I would say everything with the French accent.
22:05And then for some reason, for that 15 minutes, my French accent was spot on.
22:13And I have no idea where it came from.
22:16Everybody just in stitches, just laughing.
22:18Yeah.
22:19Yeah.
22:20Mm-hmm.
22:21That's the best thing.
22:22It's my favorite thing to do.
22:25Get them all laughing.
22:26Laugh myself, too.
22:29How would you describe your style as being a dad?
22:32Well, I think, I think showing up is the, the number one, number one quality.
22:39Um, I haven't been perfect with that.
22:45But I've always been there when it mattered.
22:49Do you, when you say imperfect, do you, do you have regrets about time you spent away?
22:54Yeah, well, their mother and I are no longer together.
22:57Um, we're still really best friends, but we're not together, so by, by, you know, just by virtue of the,
23:09the distance and us living under separate, in separate home, you know, there's a lot of, a lot of time
23:17lost there.
23:19But, you know, but, you know, I've made sure that I, I can be there as, as much as possible,
23:26and certainly when it counts.
23:29What would you consider when it counts?
23:32I've shown up to all of Billy's ballet recitals.
23:38I've had a mini nutcrackers, and I'll tell you, there's a couple pieces in there that are beautiful.
23:46But Jesus, I think drones on, man.
23:50I saw it once, yeah.
23:51Like three hours.
23:52Um, but I've been to all of them.
23:57Uh, I go to Georgia's beach volleyball games.
24:02I'm present in their lives, whether I'm in front of them or 2,000 miles away.
24:12Right.
24:13So, with Rebecca, who you met and fell in love with quickly, and how would you describe the essence of
24:21that relationship and that love affair?
24:23Well, we still love each other deeply.
24:26I just think we don't want to live with each other.
24:30Well, there's a lot of love there.
24:32I'll, I'll never, I will have never, by the time anybody sees this, have fallen in love with another woman
24:41as deeply as I fell in love with Rebecca.
24:45She's the mother of my children.
24:48And the whole way that thing came about, it was so organic and fortuitous.
24:58I met Rebecca, and I turned to her friend, and I said, I'm going to marry that girl.
25:04How did you know?
25:06I have no idea.
25:08I have no idea how serious I was in that moment, but I said that.
25:14And her friend said, no way, she's never breaking up with her fiancé.
25:19They're getting married.
25:20They're getting married together as they were 15.
25:23You know, four years later, I married her.
25:26I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
25:29Like, it's supposed to happen.
25:31Does she know you better than anybody?
25:34You think she knows you the most?
25:35A hundred percent.
25:36What would she say if, if, if I asked her who, who, who was Eric?
25:40Oh, wow.
25:42Well, well, she would say that I was probably, um, a person who was constantly vulnerable and terrified of being
25:56vulnerable.
25:57Hmm.
26:00I think she would say that, uh, I was funny.
26:07Um, I think she would say that I was charming and didn't know it.
26:13You don't know you're charming or that, that quality that you have, that, that, that star charming quality, that's just.
26:20I would argue I, I didn't have it.
26:24Well, I don't know if you can have it and know that you have it.
26:28Makes sense.
26:28Then it's, then it's inauthentic, right?
26:30I think it'd be inauthentic, yeah.
26:33So what happened between the two of you?
26:34Why did the marriage not work out?
26:37I think Rebecca was more willing to show up and do her part than I was.
26:44How come?
26:45How come you weren't?
26:47I don't have that, uh, that gene that just, uh, makes you want to keep going, regardless of what's happening.
27:01I'm like, if there's a hole in the boat, don't try to patch the hole.
27:07Scuttle the damn thing and go find a new one.
27:12And that's how, that's how you, you approached big problems in the past, in your life, in general.
27:19Yeah.
27:21I have.
27:24But you can't do that now.
27:26No.
27:28Does that change your perspective on that strategy?
27:35Yes.
27:36I've always been envious of people who fight and persevere.
27:43Rebecca's a fighter and she perseveres.
27:46But you, you clearly have a ton of perseverance.
27:48Maybe it was, maybe...
27:49I don't know.
27:50Is resiliency the same thing?
27:52I don't know.
27:53What do you think?
27:54What do you, what do you, how do you see the difference between those two things?
27:56I think one is, uh, a, a coping mechanism or an active defense, and the other is more, um, proactive.
28:08I think perseverance is something that you do to something.
28:15Right.
28:16But when you describe really living every moment up until the end and having to be really present,
28:22that feels like perseverance, not resilience.
28:26Resilience feels like survival.
28:27Yeah.
28:28You're right.
28:32Resiliency is survival.
28:35And do you feel like most of your life you've, you've been surviving?
28:41Well, now that you mentioned it, Brad.
28:46Um, yeah, I haven't displayed some perseverance in there, you know, a few spots.
28:52I think so.
28:53Well, it looks that way from, from here, you know?
28:56Certainly, and, and not just, not just with the aliens.
28:59That, that just, that just goes to, to, to show that I, I have a warped sense of, of, uh,
29:07who I am.
29:09So, two questions.
29:10What's the warped sense, and what's the true sense, do you think?
29:13What's the warped sense of who you are to you?
29:16The warped sense?
29:17Who you were.
29:17Okay, okay, okay, this, the warped sense is, uh, as I am, I am not enough.
29:25Mm-hmm.
29:28And, uh, I'm not deserving of, of having, uh, a great life.
29:42You know, my life experience was very unique at that point, and it made me feel like as
29:52as I was, I was not enough, then the reality of that is, I was absolutely more than enough.
30:06Uh, when did you realize that?
30:11About two minutes ago.
30:15Um, I realized that, uh, you know, this thing has made me a little bit softer, a little bit more
30:24open,
30:25and a little bit more, um, um, um, uh, available to experience the truth about myself.
30:37My friends remind me, too, all I'm left with is, is me.
30:43And it's kind of a fucked up way of realizing that you were enough the whole time,
30:49and everything gets taken away, and all you have left is this person.
30:56Do you still have judgment about yourself sometimes, or you, or you totally put that away?
31:01Buried it.
31:04And I'd love to judge.
31:07Mm-hmm.
31:09What would you tell people watching this, how they should live, or treat themselves, or?
31:15You know, I don't think I can tell anybody how they should live.
31:20I would make a gentle, a gentle suggestion.
31:25At every opportunity, every single opportunity you have to stop on your ego,
31:36take it.
31:37Hmm.
31:40Did you ever do that before, this?
31:42Yes, I've worked on it.
31:44I'm under construction.
31:45Hmm.
31:48We all are, right?
31:50Yeah.
31:51Do you have any particular...
31:54...life hacks?
31:55You know, I-I always tell my son, when you shave,
31:58shave in ways so that if you have to stop in the middle, you won't look silly.
32:02So, like, first the bottom, and then the sides.
32:04Right.
32:04And so that, because you never know, an earthquake could happen.
32:06Okay.
32:07And so these are-these are random life hacks that any human has that kind of die with them because
32:12they're so silly.
32:13Do you have any of those?
32:17Um...
32:17Well, you know, I think you should always make your bed.
32:23And I don't have a make your bed speech, but you should always make your bed.
32:29Because, at the very least, if you want to, like, hide from the world and jump back in it, it
32:36looks inviting.
32:39It's a good one.
32:40I got girls.
32:42I can't think I'm out of shape.
32:45No.
32:46No, you've-but you must have shaved your legs for water polo, yeah?
32:50No, I didn't have to.
32:51I'm virtually hairless.
32:53Oh, really?
32:55I-I find nothing more impressive than water polo players.
32:58That, to me, is real athleticism.
33:00It's tough.
33:01To be able to play that game while swimming?
33:03Yeah.
33:04I wasn't really good.
33:05Were you?
33:06I wasn't.
33:07Good enough to say I wasn't really good.
33:10Right.
33:11And-and-and from everything else we've said, I don't think you would have said you were really good unless
33:14you were actually really good.
33:15It would have taken a lot to overcome your insecurity.
33:18Right.
33:18You have to have undeniable evidence.
33:21Undeniable evidence that I wasn't really good.
33:24What else were you undeniably good at?
33:27That's a great question.
33:31Wow.
33:33I was undeniably a good tennis player.
33:36Hmm.
33:38I think I had my moments of my career where I was undeniably good.
33:43I wouldn't say undeniably amazing, but I would say undeniably good.
33:49When would those be?
33:51Hmm.
33:53You know, some of the early days on Grey's Anatomy.
33:56I just felt like on-on the whole, that experience was very gratifying, even when I tried to sink the
34:08ship.
34:09Mm-hmm.
34:10This is when your addiction got overwhelming during that time.
34:14Yeah.
34:15I am not good with a lot of time on my hands.
34:18I need structure.
34:20And that show provided a lot of structure for me.
34:26And when we stopped short for the writer's strike, I had months off, and I found my way back to
34:39drugs and alcohol.
34:41There was a-there was a self-sabotage that went on there during that.
34:45Yeah.
34:46But, uh, I knew better.
34:50Because, uh, at that time, I had been sober for about nine years.
34:57So I knew better.
34:59And you don't think-you don't think that overcoming addiction like that is perseverance?
35:06I think it's resilience.
35:09Sobriety is an action, and it's an action you take every day.
35:12That's true.
35:13That seems like your definition of perseverance to me.
35:16That's true.
35:17Well, like I said, maybe there's more perseverance than I do.
35:22All right, we-we talked about who your family thought Eric Dane was, but who do you think Eric Dane
35:29was?
35:33You're the kind, thoughtful, considerate, empathetic, sensitive,
35:54vulnerable, even though afraid to be a time person who cares a lot.
36:02It's hard to be somebody who's extraordinarily sensitive.
36:05To feel as-as deeply and intensely as I feel all the time.
36:10Mm-hmm.
36:11Yeah.
36:12It's exhausting.
36:13And now, are people gentler with-I guess they are.
36:17People are probably much gentler with you now.
36:19I'm much gentler with them.
36:22Yeah.
36:23Do you have regrets?
36:25Tons.
36:27Yes.
36:28What?
36:29I regret some of the decisions I made, some of the choices I made.
36:35Surrounding drugs and alcohol.
36:37Have you forgiven yourself for them?
36:43Well, there are a couple things.
36:45I mean, yeah, no, I'm-I'm feeling like I'm letting go of pretty much everything.
36:52What's that feel like?
36:54It's very freeing.
36:56So what if you don't like me?
37:01Man, I wish I could feel like this when I was, like, you know, able-bodied and strong and healthy.
37:09It's almost like it flipped.
37:11Your inside became your outside.
37:12Your outside became your inside.
37:14Yeah.
37:17I don't mind that.
37:19But at the same time, I'm not gonna be around to-for my kids for a lot of-most likely
37:26I won't be around.
37:28To, you know, walk my kids-my girls down the aisle and, you know, have grandkids and-that's-that's a
37:39tough thing to deal with.
37:43Have you thought about getting to a point where you say, I think I might be done?
37:48Yes.
37:51Yes.
37:51I have a-a set of-of circumstances that I don't think I'm willing to deal with.
37:58I may feel differently at this time, but I guess by the time anybody sees us, they will have known.
38:06Anybody stuck to that, but I'll tell you if, uh, if I can't communicate with my daughters anymore and I
38:15can't move, I don't wanna be here.
38:23I know you've-you've done a lot of work to try and raise money and to get politicians to be,
38:28um, actively working to get government funding behind ALS.
38:33And I know, uh, in-in the recent times there's been a lot of funding cuts for those things.
38:40Mm.
38:40Could everyone be doing more?
38:43Yeah, I mean, it's kinda silly.
38:47Um, apparently, from what I gather, uh, the research is fueled by money.
38:55And it-it's just a money problem.
38:58If they had unlimited funds, the researchers would find a solution to this pretty quick.
39:05Yeah, well, there's only 31,000 people in the ALS in this country.
39:11There's 340 million people in the, uh, the United States of America.
39:16I think it's hard to understand the concept of a single life, um, and how big that single life can
39:28be and how many people it affects.
39:31Rather than when you're an executive looking at, uh, numbers, I still can't believe this is happening to me.
39:42Like, it's weird.
39:46You know?
39:47I didn't think this was, uh, gonna be the end of the road for me.
39:53This was never a part of the story I had created for myself.
39:58You know?
40:01I didn't think I-I wouldn't get something as crazy and deadly as ALS.
40:08I was like, why would I get something like that?
40:13You know?
40:16I'm healthy.
40:19But I don't feel sorry for myself.
40:23I feel bad for my kids and Rebecca and my friends.
40:28But I've-I've never felt sorry for myself.
40:32It's remarkable.
40:34I don't know what it is, man.
40:36Like I said, there is absolutely no logical explanation for me to, um, be dealing with this the way I've
40:49been dealing with it.
40:50I mean, it almost feels like something was taken from you.
40:55A spirit was taken from you when you were seven and what happened with your dad.
40:59Mm-hmm.
41:00And this has, in some ways, allowed you to have it back.
41:04I guess so.
41:06Yeah.
41:09Yeah.
41:12That's pretty good, Brad.
41:17Is there anything that you would want to leave out there before?
41:22I never murdered anybody, Brad.
41:26I believe you.
41:27I believe you.
41:28I don't-I-I can't imagine you ever really hurt anybody, truly hurt anybody.
41:34There you go.
41:37Sometimes you gotta punch people.
41:39That's true.
41:39What were the-why-why did you punch them?
41:43Well, somebody came at me, so I socked them.
41:47Did you connect?
41:48Oh, yeah.
41:49Yeah.
41:52I don't have anything really crazy to confess.
41:56I kinda wish I did.
41:58Mm-hmm.
41:59I've had a lot of fun.
42:03Some unhealthy, some very, very unhealthy.
42:07But you look back fondly on all of it.
42:11Mostly bad.
42:13Mostly bad.
42:15Mostly bad.
42:16Okay.
42:16So, we've come to the end of the conversation.
42:19It's been pretty transformative for me.
42:23And the way you demonstrated what perseverance means,
42:28and what being present means.
42:30So, thank you for being so honest.
42:32Thank you for allowing me to have this conversation with you.
42:38I mean, I think this is probably the most, um,
42:43revealing and in-depth conversation I've had with just about anybody.
42:48I'm really glad.
42:50You asked, uh, the right questions.
42:54You-you are an excellent tennis partner to-to do this with.
43:00Thank you for saying that.
43:03And so now, I'm gonna leave the room.
43:06And they have an opportunity to say goodbye in your own words.
43:10And you're gonna look at that camera over there.
43:13And I hope that Georgia and Billy know their dad after watching this.
43:18So, thank you, Eric.
43:21Thank you, Brad.
43:31Billy and Georgia, these words are for you.
43:36I tried.
43:38I stumbled sometimes, but I tried.
43:43Overall, we had a blast, didn't we?
43:47I remember all the times we spent at the beach.
43:50The two of you, me and Mom, in Malibu, Santa Monica.
44:01Santa Monica, Hawaii, Mexico.
44:05I see you now playing in the ocean for hours, my water babies.
44:12Those days, pun intended, were heaven.
44:17I wanna tell you four things I've learned from this disease.
44:21And I hope you won't just listen to me.
44:24I hope you'll hear me.
44:28First, live now.
44:31Right now.
44:33In the present.
44:35It's hard, but I learned to do that.
44:38For years, I would wander up mentally, lost in my head for a long chunk of time.
44:45Wallowing in worry and self-pity, shame, and doubt.
44:50I replayed decisions, second-guessed myself.
44:54I should've done this, I never should've done that.
44:57No more.
44:59Out of pure survival, I am forced to stay in the present.
45:05But I don't wanna be anywhere else.
45:08The past contains regrets.
45:11The future remains unknown.
45:14So you have to live now.
45:17The present is all you have.
45:20Treasure it. Cherish every moment.
45:24Second, fall in love.
45:27Not necessarily with a person, although I do recommend that as well.
45:33But fall in love with something.
45:35Find your passion, your joy.
45:38Find the thing that makes you wanna get up to the morning.
45:43Drive you through the entire day.
45:46I fell in love for the first time when I was about your age.
45:50I fell in love with acting.
45:52That love eventually got me through my darkest hours.
45:56My darkest days.
45:58My darkest years.
46:00I'm tired.
46:01I still love my work.
46:03I still look forward to it.
46:05I still wanna get in front of a camera and play my part.
46:10My work doesn't define me, but it excites me.
46:14Find something.
46:17Find something that excites you.
46:20Find your path.
46:21Your purpose.
46:23Your dream.
46:25Then go for it.
46:27Really go for it.
46:31Third, choose your friends wisely.
46:35Find your people and allow them to find you.
46:39And then give yourselves to them.
46:42The best of them will give back to you.
46:45No judgment.
46:47No conditions.
46:48No questions asked.
46:51I'm so thankful for my very close family and friends.
46:55Every single one has stepped up.
46:58I can't do even the little things I used to do.
47:02I can't drive around town, go to the gym, get coffee, hang out.
47:07I've learned to embrace alternatives.
47:09My friends come to me.
47:12We eat together, watch a game, listen to music.
47:16They don't do anything special.
47:18They just show up.
47:20That's a big one.
47:21Just show up.
47:24And love your friends and everything you have.
47:29Hang on to them.
47:31They will entertain you, guide you, help you, support you.
47:37And some will save you.
47:42Finally, fight with every ounce of your being and with dignity.
47:48When you face challenges, health or otherwise, fight.
47:55Never give up.
47:57Fight until your last breath.
48:01This disease is slowly taking my body, but it will never take my spirit.
48:10The two of you are different people.
48:13But you're both strong and resilient.
48:17You inherited resiliency from me.
48:21That's my superpower.
48:23You knock me down, I bounce right up and I keep coming back.
48:27I get up again and again and again.
48:31Mark says I'm like a cat.
48:34Except a cat has nine lives and I'm on number 15.
48:39Easily.
48:41So when something unexpected hits you and it will because that's life,
48:46fight and face it with honesty, integrity and grace,
48:50even if it feels or seems surmountable.
48:54I hope I've demonstrated that you can face anything.
48:58You can face the end of your days.
49:00You can face hell with dignity.
49:04Fight, girls, and hold your heads high.
49:09Billy and Georgia, you are my heart.
49:13You are my everything.
49:16Good night. I love you.
49:18Those are my last words.
49:27Those are my last words.
49:48My easy words.
50:17I didn't know this, I didn't know this please.
50:20Transcription by CastingWords
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