00:04Are you tired of sleeping through your morning classes?
00:09Shaving blind?
00:11Spending thousands on black market blood?
00:15Do you miss garlic bread?
00:18Going to the beach during the day?
00:21Here at Monsterna, we understand your struggle.
00:25Every year, millions of Americans suffer from vaporism.
00:28The brightest minds at Monsterna 8 have recently developed a revolutionary new medical treatment.
00:33Just six months on vampiracy will have you forgetting you were ever undead.
00:40I've never seen this many tubes in my life.
00:44And I don't even want any.
00:50My cats stopped pissing at me.
00:54Whoa!
00:56I can finally see myself again!
01:07I can enter homes without asking for permission.
01:10Who are you?
01:22Being a vampire doesn't have to keep you in the dark.
01:26Possible side effects include death, nausea, vomiting, ego death, dismemberment, spontaneous
01:30combustion, blood frenzy, a desire to find yourself, broken collarbone, becoming a baseball
01:33fan, destruction of public property, destruction of private property, self-destruction, new
01:36or worsening, defenestration, juggling, and joining Sesame Street.
01:39Do not take vampiricine if you are currently a bat, breastfeeding, or plan to become a bat.
01:43Ask your doctor if vampiricine is right for you.
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