00:00Questions? John's got answers. You send them in, dearjohnjansen at gmail.com.
00:05Got grad parties, cupcakes, and my wife driving.
00:09Oh, right. I mean, I've had grad parties, a couple of them recently, have a couple more on the horizon.
00:16Cupcakes, I think I might call myself an expert on that.
00:20And my wife driving, I don't know if there's anybody an expert on that.
00:24I can confirm, Heather, Colin didn't write the last one.
00:27No, he didn't, but he could have. Maybe somewhat. We'll get there.
00:31We'll get there. Grad party, dear John, a distant relative has hit me up for a graduation party for his
00:37college daughter.
00:38Doesn't this stop in high school? When I graduated college, we went to a dinner with my parents.
00:43They paid for college and the dinner. Not only am I not going, I think this is ridiculous.
00:47Shouldn't this be a private family immediate affair? Your thoughts. Have a good day.
00:52Signed, old man yelling at the sea.
00:55Well, I'm glad you labeled yourself that because it's kind of what it sounds like.
01:01I am curious. You said it's a friend. Got an invite.
01:06Distant relative hit me up.
01:07Oh, distant relative. So you're...
01:09It's like a cousin or something.
01:11I would think if you're getting this invitation, distant relative...
01:15I mean, if you're cousins, you can still get married in Florida, right?
01:19Oh, how does she...
01:23John?
01:26Anyway, distant relative, if you're going to get this one, I'm guessing that you are also someone that socializes with
01:37this individual.
01:40I don't have... You don't have to go. There's no responsibility to go.
01:43So college grad parties are more of dinner-ish.
01:49Yeah.
01:49So go and have the dinner.
01:52Like, and celebrate...
01:54I think there should be graduation parties more so for graduating college than they are for high school.
02:01High school seems to be the minimum standard.
02:02Hey, you know, a lot of people...
02:05The vast majority of people graduate from high school.
02:07Not everyone, but a lot of people do.
02:09I think there is more of a reason to celebrate graduating college than there is high school.
02:16If you don't want to go, don't go.
02:18But if you go, I also don't think this is a, hey, you got to bring 50 bucks, 100 bucks.
02:25This is a, not a gift-bringing event.
02:30This is just show up, have a good time with the family.
02:36Hopefully, this is on dad.
02:39If this is going to be at a restaurant or something, go get yourself a free meal.
02:44Sure.
02:45I wish there was more college grad parties.
02:47I do too.
02:48I mean, I understand the high school.
02:49I mean, it is a big accomplishment.
02:50But I think for high school, you're preparing the kid for the next phase of their life.
02:55So you supply them with the towels and all the things they're going to need to be independent.
02:59So I get the point of a graduation party from high school.
03:02But it'd be fun to do a college grad party because it is such a huge accomplishment.
03:07But mine was just dinner with family.
03:09And I graduated, went to a really nice dinner with my family.
03:12And then...
03:13That was it?
03:14That was it.
03:14Same for me.
03:15I don't even think we did dinner.
03:16I think it was a phone call.
03:18Hey, mom, dad, I graduated.
03:19They didn't come to see you walk across the stage?
03:21I didn't walk.
03:22Oh, you didn't?
03:22I was getting right for the combine.
03:23Well, maybe that's why.
03:25I graduated in December.
03:27And so it wasn't...
03:28I didn't go back for the big graduation that everybody has in the spring.
03:32Well, that's why.
03:33Because I think if you would have done that, they would have been right after, let's go out.
03:37I would encourage my kids.
03:39I kind of miss the fact that I didn't walk and have that experience because I've spoken
03:45at a number of these graduations.
03:46I think it's really cool.
03:48So when it comes up to them, I'll tell them, hey, I didn't, but I think you should.
03:52Yeah, definitely.
03:53This one was funny to me.
03:54Dear John, my neighbor makes and sells cupcakes as a side hustle.
03:58I stopped over to buy four, which would have cost $14.
04:02I had cash in my pocket.
04:03I took out a 20 and set it on the counter and put the rest back in my pocket.
04:08When she came over, I mistakenly gave her what was in my pocket, which could have been
04:1260 to 80 bucks.
04:14She lightly protested.
04:16I waved it off thinking a $6 tip was nice.
04:18I went back in the house and saw I still had my 20, realized what I had done.
04:22Do I tell her what I did?
04:23Do I let her keep it?
04:25My main concern is she doesn't think I'm a weirdo paying $78 for four cupcakes.
04:30Signed, not good with details.
04:31Well, I think mistakes happen and go back and say, hey, I'm sorry.
04:37I didn't mean to.
04:39I was handing you a 20.
04:40I wanted to give you the $6 tip and you approach it that way.
04:46No, you got to eat it.
04:47You screwed up.
04:48It's your mistake.
04:48You told her she can keep it.
04:52That's the shame.
04:52You screwed up.
04:53You got to eat it.
04:55The cupcake.
04:56So hold on a second here.
04:58Let's go back to the beginning of this story.
04:59You said it is a friend, neighbor, a neighbor that does this on the side.
05:07I think you just go and say, hey, I made a mistake.
05:10Sorry.
05:11Money's tight.
05:12And I didn't mean to give you 80 bucks.
05:16I meant to give you 20.
05:17Yeah.
05:17Like I'm a little embarrassed by this, but I think with how expensive everything is, that
05:21was $60.
05:23You want that back in your pocket.
05:25You made a mistake.
05:26Transaction's over.
05:26You can't go back to the store and say, I didn't mean to give you as much as I did.
05:29It's different when it's a neighbor and it wasn't.
05:33I think you can be nice about it and handle it properly and say, I'm so embarrassed.
05:38Something happened.
05:39On the flip side, and I know what you're going to say.
05:41If I accidentally, hey, leave the money on the counter.
05:45I'll get it when I come back.
05:47And you left six bucks instead of the 14, thinking that you were paying full price.
05:53And they accepted the money.
05:55They just threw it in the cash register.
05:57I would go back and say, hey, I apologize.
06:00I didn't mean to give you the eight bucks.
06:02They may even say, well, I didn't even notice.
06:04And then you give them the rest.
06:06What's good on one side has to also be good on the other.
06:10Last one.
06:11Last one.
06:11Wife driving.
06:12Dear John, I love my wife.
06:14We've been married for 19 years.
06:16But every time we're in the car together, she's the worst backseat driver in the world.
06:21She's always telling me where to turn, which exit to use, when to stop, when the light turns green,
06:25I'm going too fast, too slow, which toll booth to use, even where to park.
06:28It has gotten to the point where I make myself more nervous just trying to not screw up.
06:33Sometimes I just let her drive so I can ride in peace.
06:35What do you think?
06:36That's the answer.
06:38That's the answer.
06:38Now, but it doesn't go the opposite way.
06:41Like, I can't tell my wife it's green.
06:45Hey, you shouldn't be looking at your phone.
06:47Hey, there's a car in your blind spot.
06:50And so my wife sometimes will send me these TikTok videos of people that over exaggerate these
06:55things because she knows it's what she does.
06:59And I mean, we get into this all the time.
07:01And parking, to me, is the biggest issue.
07:03I am, as we have covered on the show multiple times, when I go into a parking lot, I don't
07:10mind
07:11walking.
07:11And she doesn't either.
07:12It's not the location, but it's I want to back into a spot.
07:17And every time I do that, she's like, what are you doing?
07:21I'm like, well, this is technically, it's scientifically proven.
07:23This is the safest way to park because when you pull out, you're pulling straight ahead,
07:28right?
07:29You don't have to worry about people coming from all the directions.
07:31You can see everything.
07:33And she hates the extra time that it takes.
07:36And then if I park next to someone and she has to get out next to someone, especially
07:42if there's someone, did you not see somebody in that car?
07:45You want me to get out right next to them?
07:47I'm like, okay.
07:49I didn't realize that detail.
07:51Would you like to drive next time?
07:53For me, it's the last minute braking where I'm like, I grab onto the handrail when Colin
07:59drives.
08:00Oh my gosh.
08:01She waits last second to brake all the time.
08:04I'm on the verge of death every time I ride with him.
08:07And I'm just...
08:07Have you died?
08:08No.
08:10Okay.
08:10But I'm on the verge.
08:11I mean, yeah, you're on the verge.
08:12Okay.
08:13The verge.
08:15Yes.
08:15He hates it.
08:16He hates that.
08:17And God forbid I go through a yellow light.
08:19He hates it.
08:20So I don't actually say anything.
08:21It's more of the, it's the gasping.
08:23Like, ah!
08:24Well, here's the funny part.
08:25Yeah, exactly.
08:26Is Teddy has now picked up on it.
08:28So my parents were in the car.
08:30We're going somewhere.
08:30We're going to the post office, right?
08:31I'm driving.
08:32Teddy's in the back seat.
08:33My mom and dad are in there.
08:34And I go through a yellow light.
08:36And all of a sudden, I hear from the back seat, Teddy, what are you doing?
08:41What are you really becoming your mother?
08:44Yeah.
08:45Tell her that.
08:45Oh, no.
08:46No, no, no.
08:47That was a little joke that stayed in the car.
08:48So your solution to this guy.
08:50Right.
08:51Your solution to this guy is just let her drive.
08:54Yeah.
08:55I'm fine with my wife.
08:56I would prefer to drive.
08:57But I don't want to listen to it.
09:00Look, some things are worth fighting about.
09:01Like, you cannot be doing this repeatedly.
09:03Too fast, too slow, in their ear, toll booth, parking.
09:06Like, you do have to confront your partner on this.
09:08That is not normal behavior.
09:10Well, that's all you got to do is just say, hey, you got to tone it down a little bit.
09:14Let me drive.
09:14It's going to be okay.
09:16Okay.
09:16I'm telling you.
09:16Those conversations happen.
09:18Doesn't change.
09:20Doesn't change.
09:21What are you doing?
09:22You're tailgating.
09:23Do you not notice you're tailgating?
09:26No.
09:26I'm driving the speed of traffic.
09:30Because if I don't stay close to him, somebody's got to cut me off.
09:34Take my spot.
09:37It is a race.
09:38Did you know that?
09:39It's Dear John.
09:40Send him in.
09:41Dear John Jansen at gmail.com.
09:43That's J-O-N.
09:44Dear John Jansen at gmail.com.
09:47It's 97.1.
09:47It's 97.1.
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