00:00Cooking and I have a toxic love affair.
00:01Every day I think about her, but ah, I don't want to
00:03I prefer to look elsewhere and order
00:05But my health and my wallet disagree.
00:06No, because excuse me, but buying products
00:08Cooking for hours
00:10Eat then clean up
00:11And this twice a day
00:12If eating were not a vital need
00:14I would literally let myself starve to death
00:16No, because I think like a fucking capitalist
00:18The time I waste cooking is time I can spend making videos
00:20Moreover, TikTok cooking tutorials
00:22It looks so simple, women are so appealing
00:24Like, they're there with their leftover rice and Nutella.
00:26And they manage to make a salmon tartare and you don't even know how they did it.
00:29So today I'm going to teach you how to make beef bourguignon with salt
00:32But am I the only one recording them when I know perfectly well that I'll never
00:34review them
00:35And if, despite everything, you still decide to do it
00:37Where are the quantities?
00:38No, because telling me to add a little sugar milk
00:40I think that an obese person and an anorexic person will not have the same definition
00:42Ah, but cooking is a struggle
00:44Who said that a woman's place is in the kitchen?
00:46Have you ever seen the forearms of cooks?
00:48Back when I was doing combat sports
00:49Those guys, those clowns, they were all cooks.
00:51That's it, I'm quitting the gym, I'm going into the restaurant business.
00:52By the way, gentlemen, if you want to have the case
00:54Ah well, we'll have to get cooking.
00:55A man who knows how to cook simple dishes
00:56It's in the top 3 most attractive activities for a woman
00:58Yes, because don't do what I did and fight against olive oil.
01:00Just to make a fried egg
01:01Because I don't think that's going to attract a lot of people, actually.
01:04Ah!
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