00:00I always wanted to be a dad.
00:03It just took 46 years for it to happen.
00:06Just rub some dirt on it.
00:07You might want to put a little Neosporin on it.
00:09That thing could get infected.
00:10Oh, yeah?
00:10Are you a doctor?
00:11Are you just like one of those WebMD guys?
00:12This is common knowledge.
00:13You want to keep the cut clean.
00:14Well, listen, I'm trying to raise a little man here,
00:16not a fucking pussy.
00:17So why don't you just go on Twitter
00:18and go share this story where you are the hero?
00:21Hold up!
00:22What's up, party people?
00:23You happen to check that new joint from Lil Baby?
00:25Come on, pound it out.
00:26It's okay, thanks.
00:28What?
00:28He's Fleek.
00:29Oh.
00:30Flickety-flick.
00:32All right, you two lock it down.
00:34We got to impress this dude.
00:35Change happens faster than when you were young.
00:38This company is now a gender-neutral,
00:40carbon-neutral, 21st-century lifestyle brand.
00:42I don't know what any of that means.
00:44You need to talk to someone about your anger.
00:47You were late.
00:48Couldn't find a spot.
00:48We don't accept excuses.
00:50Is there, like, a problem here, miss?
00:52Well, if you'd actually read the school guidebook,
00:53I wouldn't have to tell you anything.
00:55I read the guidebook, all right, you stumpy little...
00:58Oh!
00:59Wow.
01:01You feel your generation is more evolved.
01:03Yeah, absolutely.
01:04It's not going.
01:05Hit the thing.
01:06Come on, let's go.
01:07You know I got a flip phone.
01:08Are you kidding me?
01:08Oh, I got it.
01:09I got it.
01:09I got it.
01:11Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
01:13But I'd do anything for my kid.
01:16Woo!
01:18You have no idea how awesome I was at your age.
01:21Julio Iglesias came up to me in an airport,
01:23dead certain I was his son, Enrique.
01:25The kind of vibe I was putting out, bro.
01:27That's ridiculous.
01:29I was ridiculous.
01:31You can't see me, gotta get a blacklight for me.
01:34Is there a reason we always have two white men
01:37dominating the discussion in this room?
01:39This little white guy?
01:41I'm confused.
01:43No, this won't take me 60 seconds.
01:45Hold up.
Kommentare