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00:05my mom called me a liar from the day i was born not because i actually lied but because of
00:10this
00:10thing around my neck the verity choker mom was luna of silver moon pack and she believed one
00:15thing above all lying was the mark of a weak wolf we were her daughters future alpha heirs
00:21weakness was not an option so when my twin sister emma and i were born mom clasped these chokers
00:27around our throats which had witch magic to detect lies green light means truth red light means you
00:33were lying emma's choker always green she could shred mom's ceremonial cloak and blame the cat
00:39and gem would glow a steady green not me green light believed me mom i'm hungry and flash red
00:49light the choker choked tight i shifted on instinct a small white wolf pawing desperately at the gem
00:55around my neck claws scraping against it unable to get it off i'm not lying not lying please but mom's
01:03eyes had already gone cold instant punishment mom's punishment wasn't gentle no food locked in my room
01:09no contact with anyone in the pack the truth necklace doesn't lie stella starve now study later
01:16i'm doing this for your own good after 10 years of this i started believing it too maybe i really
01:22was
01:23born wrong new year's eve everything changed mom was getting ready to take emma to the pack's bonfire
01:29celebration and that's when the pain hit like a knife twisting in my gut i collapsed on the floor
01:34my skeletal frame curling into itself mom please the choker flashed red and choked tight she looked down
01:43at me disgusted in her eyes in your dream stella faking an illness to ruin our night she grabbed emma's
01:51hand and headed for the door i wanted to howl but my wolf was too weak to answer i shifted
01:56anyway forced
01:58it a small white wolf trembling on the floor ribs heaving maybe in this form the pain would hurt less
02:04it didn't i couldn't even hold the ship i slipped back into myself without meaning to sorry mom i won't
02:11lie anymore but the pain got worse way worse the door handle turned for one second i thought mom's
02:17coming back she came back for me hurry up the bonfire is starting emma's waiting mom i reached out with
02:25a
02:26shaking hand please something's really wrong i feel like i'm dying she glanced at my neck the gem was
02:32flashing red over and over she crouched down grabbed my chin stella how long are you gonna keep this up
02:39can't you just be honest and stay here and think about what you've done dad appeared in the doorway
02:46honey should we at least leave her some food food she has a stash of snacks she bought with stolen
02:53money
02:54she won't starve lock the door when that gem turns green we'll talk but but what
03:02it's because you spoil her that she turned out this way look at emma her gem has always been green
03:10stella is a liar an alpha heiress who can't tell the truth she needs discipline but my cabinet was empty
03:16emma stole that money emma ate those snacks emma just stood there with her glowing green gem saying
03:24not me and mom believed her i tried to defend myself it wasn't me red light the choker choked tight
03:32i tried to shift nothing happened deep inside my wolf barely stirred mom locked me up for three days with
03:41nothing but water and stale bread mom turned to leave emma peeked through the door made a face at me
03:46bye sis we're gonna see the bonfire her gem glowed a steady green so pretty the door locked the house
03:55went silent i called my wolf nothing came back not even a whisper just me alone the pain was unbearable
04:05but i kept thinking mom's right the gem doesn't lie it's red so i must be lying i'm not in
04:13pain
04:13i'm not in pain i'm not in pain i kept repeating it like a prayer eventually i almost believed it
04:23the pain dulled or maybe i was just going numb i crawled to my desk i had to write that
04:31was the rule
04:32if the gem glowed red i had to pen a thousand word apology or mom would never let me out
04:39i am a liar
04:41write it down and maybe mom would forgive me maybe she'd even let me out i opened my journal pages
04:49and
04:49pages of apologies i'd written over the years sorry i lied i won't do it again but this time i
04:57wanted to
04:57write the truth my vision blurred my hand shook as i wrote mom i really love you it really hurts
05:06why won't
05:07you believe me please believe me just once the moment i finished the last word the pain vanished
05:15just gone i felt light weightless i looked down i was floating and there slumped over the desk was my
05:25body motionless the gem still flashing red around a dead girl's neck oh i'm dead and then
05:33she came out my wolf stepping out of my body like she'd been waiting all along small skinny barely
05:42holding together she looked up at me and once soft and low in the pack's old stories they say when
05:50a
05:50wolf dies young her spirit doesn't cross over alone her wolf walks beside her until they find the door
05:57together i knelt down she pressed her nose into my ghostly palm finally we were together now but i
06:06never learned how to be honest sorry mom i heard laughter mom dad emma coming through the front door
06:14tonight's bonfire was beautiful the best one yet just like our emma perfect in every way i'd never heard
06:23her sound like that when she talked about me i floated toward them my wolf patting silently at my
06:28side moving on instinct i wanted to help them take off their cloaks that's what i always did mom my
06:36arms
06:36passed right through her body like wind is it so cold here is the hearty out i stood there staring
06:44at my
06:44transparent hands my wolf pressed against my leg and looked up at me with sad eyes right dead wolves
06:51couldn't hug the living shall we go and see stella she hasn't eaten yet still the good cop i looked
06:58at
06:58mom hopefully if she found me dead would she be sad would she regret it she won't starve she is
07:07a
07:07werewolf not a human pup this whole fake sick for attention thing is out of control i laughed bitterly
07:15mom wasn't wrong werewolves heal but i hadn't been able to in a long time last winter the choker
07:21left bruises that stayed for days that hadn't happened before i reached for my wolf she was
07:27still there but the warmth never came she was too hungry just like me mom never noticed she only ever
07:36looked at my neck for one thing the gem and whether it was red or green mom pushed open my
07:42door didn't
07:43even turn on the light just for a second her eyes flashed gold her wolf might have known mom didn't
07:50listen in the dim glow from the hallway she saw me slumped over my desk i looked like a skeleton
07:56hadn't moved still putting on an act you're ten years old not five grow up mom i'm not playing i'm
08:06dead look at me touch me i'm freezing she couldn't hear me she only believed what she wanted to see
08:14emma
08:14squeezed past her held up her choker with that smug little grin look my gem is green stella's is still
08:21red she's lying even in her sleep that's my good girl ignore the liar let her stay there maybe she'll
08:29learn how to be honest should we at least put her in bed it's freezing put her in bed look
08:37at that red
08:37gem still lying come on leave her we have to visit grandma tomorrow the door locked again i floated
08:46next to my corpse my wolf curled silently at my feet staring at that single point of red light in
08:52the darkness mom if you just stepped closer if you just touched my hand you'd know i was ice cold
08:58but you didn't you believed the choker not the daughter you carried for nine months
09:03that night a rat crawled out of my empty cabinet i used to scream whenever i saw rats but now
09:10i just
09:10floated by the ceiling watching it scurry across my dead body the rat bit into my toe i didn't feel
09:17anything my wolf charged at it anyway and passed right through landing on the other side she turned
09:24back to look at me confused lost i pulled her close and buried my face in the fur of her
09:30back
09:30it's okay you can't feel it anymore it'll be over soon she let out one low growl then went still
09:38against me finally no more pain for either of us the next morning sunlight streamed through the window
09:46no warmth reached my body in the kitchen i could hear mom making breakfast the smell of roasted meat
09:53crept under my door my favorite but mom always said liars don't deserve meat so i only ever got steamed
10:00vegetables she was clanging the pots extra loud on purpose trying to tempt me out trying to make me
10:06give in and apologize for things i never did in the old days i might have caved i might have
10:12confessed
10:12to anything for one bite of roasted meat but i don't need food anymore stella still hasn't come out yet
10:19dad asked reading the pack notices she is so stubborn she can eat or not i don't care
10:28emma walked to my door and made a big show of sniffing the air then she screamed dramatically
10:35mom stella's room smells like poop did she poop in there i floated by the door watching my sister with
10:43a bitter smile my wolf sat beside me ears flat eyes low the hearth was burning hot after just one
10:51night
10:52my body started to rot mom stormed over pounding on the door
10:56stella who does that the toilet is right there did you sit on the floor to spite me i remembered
11:04being
11:04six i had food poisoning couldn't make it to the toilet in time mom didn't help me clean up she
11:12made me
11:12stand outside pointed at me and told the neighbors look at this she's such a mess she can't even use
11:20the
11:20toilet herself now she thought i was dirty again leave her let her sit in her own stink but dad
11:27stood
11:27up frowning that smells really bad i should check could it be a dead rat or something my heart if
11:35i
11:35still had one leapt dad please open the door i'm right here just turn the handle and you'll see i'm
11:43not
11:43moving i waved my transparent arms frantically my wolf ran straight to my bedroom door willing dad to open
11:51it dad's hand touched the door handle his hand froze one was pounding at the front door a pack elder
11:58urgent business dad's face went pale he grabbed his cloak the border there's an emergency
12:04he was already out the door i froze so close one second away if that knock had come one second
12:11later i would have been found maybe then i wouldn't have rotted alone that afternoon mom took emma to
12:17the pack market the house was empty except for my corpse when they came back that evening loaded down
12:21with food and gifts from the market the smell had gotten worse mom gagged the second she walked in
12:27stella are you trying to turn this place into a den of inequity she didn't even open my door just
12:33grabbed cloth strips and sealed the gap at the bottom if you want to stay in there and make
12:37disgusting stew zoos don't stink up my house she patted her hands together satisfied then went to
12:43prepare dinner i stared at that sealed door my wolf pressed her nose against it and whimpered once so
12:49that's it i'm worth less than a venison dinner by day three even the cloth strips couldn't contain the
12:54smell mom was arranging fresh wildflowers trying to cover it up but the stench of death is unmistakable
13:00sweet rotten oily she cut a rose stem too hard a thorn pierced her hand she snapped in her mind
13:08i was
13:08doing this on purpose not bathing poop on the floor hiding dead rats in my room all to piss her
13:14off
13:14all to defy her authority as luna stella she grabbed a rolling pin from the kitchen storm toward
13:21my room i'm done with you you disgusting little brat time you learned what real pain feels like
13:27i floated in front of her waving my arms desperately don't come in mom please please
13:35even though she never loved me i didn't want her to see me like that but she walked right through
13:41me
13:41ripped the cloth strips off jammed the spare key into the lock the door flew open the smell hit her
13:47like
13:47a wall she stumbled back retching stella what are you doing she saw me still slumped over the desk
13:54back turned not moving to her this was the ultimate rebellion i'm talking to you she marched over
14:01raised the rolling pin but stopped she wanted to see my face first wanted to see my get up she
14:09grabbed
14:09the back of my shirt grabbed my skin the moment she touched me she froze through the thin fabric her
14:15hand
14:15didn't feel warm flesh she felt cold hard dead meat the kind of cold that seeps into your bones
14:22what but momentum carried her forward she yanked crash my body stiff as a board toppled backward
14:29taking the chair with it and there was my face blue black eyes bulging features twisted in agony
14:35dried foam and blood crusted around my mouth around my blackened neck the verity choker hung lifeless
14:41the gem dark no red no green just silence my journal slid off the desk fell open at mom's feet
14:49the last
14:50page stared up at her mom my stomach really hurts the choker is wrong i'm not lying please don't punish
14:57me
14:57mom screamed not a wolf's howl a raw guttural shriek that tore through her throat she stumbled backward
15:05slammed into the bookshelf a clay pot shattered but she didn't seem to feel the pain she just
15:11stared at me eyes wide unblinking no no no no this is not real stella get up stella get up
15:21i'm not mad
15:23anymore stop scaring me her hand reached out trembling to touch my arm the second her skin made contact with
15:32my corpse she recoiled like she'd been burned that cold was too real lisa from next door heard the
15:39screaming and went straight to the pack healer when she saw what was in my room she collapsed in the
15:44gate within the hour heavy boots on the floorboards the pack healer and a handful of pack warriors
15:51crowding the entrance mom sat on the floor a warrior's hand on her shoulder she's speaking she's always lying
16:00it doesn't lie i'm just teaching her no one responded they all looked at her like she was a monster
16:07the pack healer crouched next to my body he muttered under his breath severe malnutrition organ failure
16:15this puppy has been starved for at least a month he carefully tried to remove the verity choker but it
16:21had fused years of tightening had pressed the leather deep into the skin of my neck damn it he had
16:28to use tools to pry it off even dead my soul flinched my wolf lifted her head and long raw
16:37desperate
16:39the kind of howl that should have shaken the walls no one heard it no one flinched we were already
16:45dead
16:45a warrior picked up my journal started reading his face went from neutral to horrified mom's eyes
16:52locked onto that book that's her confession she admits she lied look she wrote it herself
17:01the warrior pushed her back wrapped the journal in cloth and took it will report it to the council
17:07that's when dad got home he saw the pack healer and the pack warriors crowding the doorway
17:13saw the body wrap being carried out saw the long cord that sealed away my entire life his legs gave
17:22out he collapsed on the doorstep emma stood nearby sobbing in confusion she pointed at the discolored
17:29verity choker on the table why does stella have a black collar and i have a green one see she
17:36held up
17:36her neck the gem blinked its steady green it was grotesque the council elders arrived before dawn mom
17:44straightened when she saw them even now even with my body three days cold and rotting her luna instincts
17:51kicked in she lifted her chin squared her shoulders it didn't work today they started questioning mom in
17:59the living room mom grabbed the verity choker off the table like it was a lifeline test it that choker
18:06proved she was lying red gem means lie i never abused her the choker told me i was just educating
18:16her
18:17the council elders looked at her like she'd lost her mind the pup showed signs of extreme malnutrition
18:25months of starvation aphelion multiple old injuries consistent with prolonged that's dis discipline
18:32that's teaching her to be honest then she did something insane you don't believe me fine i'll wear it
18:44watch it'll be green the leather pressed against her skin cold sticky that was my blood she took a deep
18:53breath tried to calm herself she needed to prove she was innocent needed to prove her way of raising an
19:00alpha heir was right she held up the gem eyes wild listen i'm rachel i'm stella's mother this is the
19:09truth the absolute truth the gem flashed red mom's confident expression shattered
19:18i said truth i am rachel i never abused her i did it for her own good i love her
19:29and suddenly she
19:31remembered me 10 years old gasping as the choker tightened around my throat biting my lip so i wouldn't
19:39make a sound is this what it felt like why is it red i am telling the truth turn green
19:46you're broken
19:47you're setting me up but the gem kept flashing like it was mocking her you're a liar you're a liar
19:54you're a
19:55liar enough this is just a bloodstone i've seen it before it changes color with body heat fear pain
20:05anything anything that makes your heart race temperature rises it burns red that's all it does
20:13no witch magic never was think about your daughter ruptured appendix organ failure the pain must have
20:21been unbearable she was terrified and what did you see a red gem so you punished her more which made
20:30her
20:31more scared which made her temperature rise which made the stone turn redder you are luna you are
20:41supposed to protect every wolf in this pack you couldn't even protect your own daughter you ignored
20:48her cries for help you starved your daughter to death mom's world collapsed she sat there staring at the
20:57flashing gem on her own net and finally understood for 10 years every red light wasn't because i was lying
21:04it was because i was scared scared of her anger scared of being misunderstood scared of eating food
21:12that made me sick i was in pain pain that made my heart race and cold sweat pour down my
21:19face i was
21:20desperate desperate desperate for a hug for her to hold me the way she held emma every signal from
21:27my frightened heart she had interpreted as proof of my lies no get it off
21:36i'm not lying i'm not she tried to shift fur rippling across her skin bones cracking but the leather
21:44cinched harder around her throat the moment her neck began to change she snapped back into human form
21:51gasping i can't get it off stella take it back i'm sorry it's all my fault this little bit of
22:00choking
22:01and she was already breaking mom i suffered for 10 years the council elders needed evidence for judgment
22:10so they opened my journal in front of my parents february 14th sunny mom put celery on my plate i'm
22:18allergic my throat swells i can't breathe i said i can't eat it but because i was scared of making
22:25her
22:25angry my body ran hot the gem flashed red the choker tightened mom said i was picky lying made me
22:35eat the
22:36whole plate that night i threw up blood my throat felt like it was on fire i shifted to ease
22:43my pain
22:43mom saw it and said i'd snuck berry juice that i was faking the choker tightened for 10 more minutes
22:52mom's hand flew to her mouth she was shaking violently she remembered that she really did think
22:59it was berry juice she didn't even look closely just turned away to read emma a bedtime story that
23:06was blood from a swollen torn throat june 1st pups day emma shredded mom's ceremonial cloak emma's
23:16heart is always calm her gem stays green i tried to explain but i was scared of being hit my
23:23body ran
23:24hot red gem choker tightened for 10 minutes it hurt so bad but i didn't cry because crying makes your
23:33body run hotter and mom thinks that means you're not sorry so i held my breath pretended it didn't
23:40hurt mom said see she doesn't even blink she's definitely faking it dad couldn't take it anymore
23:48this man who had always put the pack before his own family chose duty over his daughter for 10 years
23:55you monster what did you do that was your daughter you treated her like a stray blood at the corner
24:04of
24:04her mouth not my fault not my fault it's her it's emma emma's gem was always green emma was the
24:13good one
24:13if it wasn't for that green light making me trust her i wouldn't have believed the red light so much
24:19this is emma's thoughts that little princess everyone who protected one of the council elders
24:25walked over gently removed the green verity choker from her neck took out a blade pried the gem loose
24:32right there it rolled onto the table still glowing green steady unchanged the elder picked up the stone
24:41a glowstone that is all your younger daughter's choker was always going to shine green no matter
24:48what she said did or lied about it would never change your so-called verity choker was a fraud
24:58that was her truth for 10 years that was the evidence she used to convict me a common glowstone
25:04that put me in hell while emma lived in paradise so i wasn't a liar i i laughed laughed until
25:12i cried
25:13turns out ghosts could cry too the elder turned to the last page of the journal his voice broke the
25:19handwriting was a mess clearly written while dying mom if i die will the choker stop glowing red or if
25:27it
25:27turns green will you hug me then i'm not lying i couldn't heal myself anymore my stomach hurts so
25:34much like knives next life please don't make me wear the choker please i just want to be a normal
25:42pup
25:42i want to eat mom's roasted meat mom stared at the broken glowstone on the table that truth magic she
25:48trusted without question a worthless stone because of that stone she spoiled emma for 10 years because
25:56of that cursed red light she tortured me for 10 years
26:03mom started laughing her voice cracking in every sound worse than crying fake all fake
26:14i killed my most honest pup and i worshipped a liar she'd lost her mind for real this time my
26:23death
26:24became the talk of the entire pack lisa the neighbor who had sent for the pack healer
26:29told everyone what she'd seen every wolf knew by morning luna had starved her own daughter to death
26:37monster murderer she doesn't deserve to be luna stones flew at our door the word killer carved into the
26:46wall the council convened within the day the verdict was swift dad lost his alpha title no wolf would
26:54follow him follow him now my grandfather the former alpha read out the judgment himself he didn't look
27:00at his son once dad walked out of the council hall and never looked back he took emma and left
27:06the pack
27:07that same night emma was a bad seed sure but she was still his blood before they left emma tried
27:14to
27:14take her green choker dad stomped on it why the hell would you want that piece of trash emma cried
27:21as he
27:21dragged her away mom got out of the dungeon the healer said she had lost her mind the council locked
27:27her in
27:28the home instead the one that still smelled like death her mental state deteriorated fast she refused
27:35to take off the red choker she would tighten it herself whenever the guilt got too heavy she said
27:40choking was the only thing that eased it it was her self-imposed punishment i floated in the darkness
27:46my wolf curled beside me watching her unravel day after day she'd talk to the empty corner where i
27:53used to stand stella i brought you some food no celery today it's all roast just how you like it
28:01but there
28:01was no food there was nothing just her hands cupped around air she'd pretend to set a plate down her
28:09hands
28:09shook the gem flashed red she was anxious guilty falling apart she smiled but her eyes were
28:16empty the gem is red mom is lying liars don't deserve food she pulled the choker tight with her own
28:24hands
28:25let it choke her her body convulsed against the cold floor it hurts so much is this how stella felt
28:33i'm sorry mom started reenacting my diary entries i couldn't eat celery because of my allergy so she
28:42forced herself to eat spoiled food until she vomited blood then swallowed it back down i was locked in
28:49isolation so she locked herself in my old room lights off and bowed to my portrait until her forehead
28:56bled over and over blood on the floor late at night she'd see the red glow of the bloodstone reflected
29:05on
29:05the wall to her it looked like my bloody eyes were watching she kept punishing herself the wounds
29:12healed slower and slower her wolf exhausted by months of self-torture slowly fell into a deep
29:19sleep mom didn't care she scrawled on the back of my journal i'm sorry i was wrong red means pain
29:27red means love please come back and say it hurts hurts one more time i'll save you i promise too
29:35bad i'm
29:35dead dead wolves can't cry for help eventually the new alpha intervened mom's self-harm had gone too far
29:43she'd nearly choked herself to death with her own hands he ordered her to move to a small hut at
29:49the
29:49far edge of the village locked from the outside someone posted to watch her day and night she was
29:56the strangest woman they'd ever seen nobody knew where she'd found it a frayed red cord tied around her own
30:03neck her homemade choker if anyone tried to remove it she'd snap at them teeth bared snarling wild-eyed
30:12don't touch me stella's watching she'll be angry if you take it every time the guard called her name
30:20and brought her food mom would grab the red cord and pull it tight against her own throat convulsing
30:26screaming red light red light don't punish punish me i'll eat i'll eat even if the food was scalding
30:36hot she'd gulp it down burning her throat wouldn't spit it out she was reenacting my final moments
30:43living my hell on repeat years later emma grew up without guidance and with a trail of shame behind her
30:50she drifted from pack to pack stealing to survive no one would take her in when she ran out of
30:57options
30:57she remembered mom was still alive she slipped back into the silverman pack under the cover of night
31:04not for love for money hey crazy lady dad's dead give me whatever you've been hiding emma stood there
31:14face hard eyes full of contempt she looked at mom's hollow broken form and spat on the floor it's
31:22disgusting give me what i want or i'll send you to meet your daughter for a moment mom's cloudy eyes
31:29cleared she looked at emma and suddenly remembered that choker that always green glowstone that decade of
31:38deception it's you you lie you're the green light that wasn't there you killed stella give her back to
31:47me give her back to me the last shred of maternal love twisted into something feral mom lunged grabbed
31:56emma by the throat should have died not her you emma thrashed but couldn't break free from a mad woman's
32:06grip the guards rushed in pulled her off emma stumbled out of the hut terrified they're all insane
32:14she bolted into the forest she didn't get far rogues the kind that haunted the borderlands
32:21preying on anyone foolish enough to run through the trees alone at night emma never saw them coming
32:27by the time she did it was too late she survived barely both legs shattered beyond repair
32:34she'd never walk again meanwhile mom was strapped to her cot staring at the ceiling tears streaming in
32:43her dreams she finally saw me i was 10 again no choker white dress smiling mom she reached for me
32:52crying with joy stella but the moment her hands touched me i burst into ash no she woke up screaming
33:01if
33:02she'd been wearing that choker it would have been blood red eternal torment i stood in the void
33:08watching it all mom strapped to her bed emma in a wheelchair begging on the market dad drunk and dead
33:15in some gutter i felt nothing no satisfaction just a flat dead calm my wolf padded over quietly she didn't
33:25howl didn't nudge just pressed her head against my hand and held it there in the distance a door of
33:31light appeared soft steady waiting i looked at my wolf she looked at me yeah time to leave this life
33:40was too bitter nothing worth holding on to i floated to mom's hut one final time she looked ancient hair
33:47completely white frail as paper she sent something her cloudy eyes focused on a point in the air right
33:54where i stood stella is that you her trembling hand reached into the emptiness mom destroyed the
34:00choker i don't believe in it anymore come back please i'll cook for you no salary i'll buy you
34:06new dresses not emma tears rolled down her face i looked at the red marks on her neck from the
34:11frayed cord
34:12i i reached out my cold ghostly finger touched her forehead this was my final mercy sleep mom in sleep
34:20there's no pain her eyes fluttered shut she slumped into a deep dreamless rest a breeze blew through the
34:27hut the old journal on her cot flipped open the last page my dying words stared up at the ceiling
34:33but
34:34below it in shaky handwriting were new lines written by mom during a lucid moment next life let me wear
34:41the
34:41choker let me be the liar punish me however you want just don't leave me i stared at those words
34:47felt
34:47nothing too late repentance means nothing to the dead mom i don't hate you anymore but i don't love
34:55you either let's not meet again i turned away my wolf was waiting in the distance the door of light
35:00still glowed soft steady patient i looked at my neck the phantom verity choker still there even in spirit
35:08form the nightmare that had changed me for a lifetime i grabbed it it shattered into nothing i felt weightless
35:14free no red light no hunger no lies just freedom my wolf pressed against my side together we walked
35:22toward the light i didn't look back morning came a guard pushed open the door rachel time to eat
35:28no response she walked closer mom's hand clutched the torn journal a single tear crystallized at the
35:34corner of her eye she crouched beside her held two fingers beneath her nose nothing she was gone
35:40passing through the door wasn't violent no spinning no chaos just warmth like sinking into a spring stream
35:47i looked to my side my wolf was gone i didn't panic i pressed my hand to my chest and
35:53there she was
35:53steady warm then i heard her voice not a whimper not a whine clear and bright and full of life
36:00like
36:01the first time we met run i shifted four paws hit the ground and i ran through forests that smelled
36:07of pine
36:07and rain through cold shallow streams that splashed silver around my legs through meadows i had never
36:13seen but somehow knew my white fur caught the light my paws were sure my lungs were full my body
36:20was
36:21strong no choker around my throat no red light no hunger the lingering ache in my soul the phantom pain
36:28of 10 years started to fade with every step i ran toward brightness behind me old life dissolved like a
36:36worn photograph left out in the rain mom's final tear the red glow of the choker blood on the journal
36:43pages gone i didn't look back that 10 year nightmare was finally truly over when i opened my eyes again
36:51i was tiny wrapped in soft blankets someone was humming a woman's voice gentle off key but full of love
37:01her fingers brushed my cheek the scent of wild flowers not the cold clinical distance of my old
37:08mother not the silence of someone who only touched me to punish i blinked up at her she had kind
37:15eyes
37:15a soft smile she cradled me like i was made of glass grace is awake honey come quick our daughter
37:24just
37:24opened her eyes a man appeared tall a little awkward but his face lit up when he saw me
37:31he touched my tiny hand with one finger his voice was deep warm hey grace i'm your dad
37:40grace not stella no weight no chains no red light just grace a name that meant something light
37:49something cherished this house was small but warm full of light cartoon painting on the walls flowers by
37:57the window sunlight pouring through the windows warm on the floor i realized fast this family was nothing
38:05like the last one they never forced me to do anything there were no chokers no red lights no punishments
38:12for things i hadn't done i grew learned to crawl to talk and when i was three mom made a
38:20stew with celery
38:21the green stalks in the bowl triggered me i flashed back to choking throat swelling vomiting blood
38:27i stumbled backwards shaking tears came without permission mom immediately put down her spoon crouched
38:35pulled me into a hug grace what's wrong you don't like celery i couldn't speak
38:41just shook my head sobbing dad knelt too rubbed my back hey it's okay you don't have to eat it
38:49can you
38:50tell us why their eyes were patient gentle finally i choked out it hurts my throat makes me bleed they
39:00didn't say the verity choker doesn't lie they didn't accuse me of faking they took me to the pack healer
39:07immediately turns out i really do have a celery allergy after that celery never appeared in the
39:13house again mom added it to her market list grace's allergies celery she checked every time she shopped
39:21i lay in her arms that night smelling wild flowers and realized this is what it feels like to be
39:28believed
39:28love isn't measured by a stone it's listening even when the story sounds impossible when i was four dad took
39:36me to the pack healer for my first health check there was a blood draw i saw the needle and
39:41lost it
39:42flashes of the choker tightening around my throat flashes of starvation i screamed clung to dad's leg
39:49the healer sighed i couldn't stop shaking don't punish me i'm not lying dad immediately scooped me up
39:58sorry she's not ready we'll come back another time on the walk home dad didn't scold me for being weak
40:03he just asked gently grace did someone hurt you before i buried my face in his shoulder tears soaking
40:12his shirt mom joker red light i couldn't explain it clearly but he listened nodded it's okay dad's here
40:23now no one's ever hurting you again from then on they took me to the pack healer regularly not for
40:30blood
40:31draws just to talk she has been hurt be patient with her my parents never complained never made
40:38me feel like a burden they bought me a colorful necklace but never forced me to wear it this is
40:43just a pretty thing grace wear it if you want take it off if you don't we'll love you either
40:49way slowly
40:50i started to heal i could say i don't like this without fear i could say i'm scared i could
40:57say i want
40:59that i didn't have to worry about my heart racing being proof of a lie i started sharing my stories
41:05with them i cried when i didn't get a toy i laughed when i got praise i was finally just
41:11a pup
41:12a normal loved pup when i turned seven i started at the pack school there was a girl in my
41:18class
41:19annie sullivan she looked exactly like emma same eyes but her hair was shorter and she was timid scared
41:29the first time i saw her my heart clenched flashbacks emma's smug grin the green light
41:36mocking me i stepped back instinctively annie noticed she looked down voice barely a whisper
41:43i'm annie do you want to be friends her tone was so careful so desperate to please just like i
41:52used to be
41:53i glanced at her neck she wore a simple choker with green gem my stomach turned later i found out
42:00annie's mom was strict too demanded honesty locked her in her room without food when she made mistakes
42:08one day annie accidentally knocked over the teacher's ink pot she was trembling too scared to admit it i saw
42:15her face red rimmed eyes barely holding back tears i remembered myself at that desk writing i am a liar
42:23over and over i walked over took her hand annie it's okay accidents happen let's tell the teacher
42:34together she won't be mad annie looked at me shocked but mom says liars are bad wolves being honest isn't
42:41about never making mistakes it's about owning up when you do and even if you tell the truth you
42:47shouldn't be punished for it if the teacher gets angry i'll stand with you if your mom gets angry come
42:53to my house my parents will help i gave her the courage i never had she confessed the teacher forgave
43:00her told her to be more careful next time from that day on we have been best friends i brought
43:06annie
43:06home to meet my parents she saw how warm they were how they didn't yell didn't punish little things i
43:13told her you don't have to make everyone happy you're allowed to feel things say things one day annie's
43:22mom came to pick her up from school she saw us together in her face twisted she grabbed annie's hand
43:29did you mess up again is grace covering for you annie immediately looked down silent i stepped in
43:36front of her looked at the mom in the eye ma'am annie didn't do anything wrong she's a good
43:42pup you
43:43shouldn't always assume the worst she's scared of you the mom froze looked at me then at annie's tear-filled
43:53eyes her expression softened that night she called my mom thanked her said i'd opened her eyes over
44:01time annie's mom got gentler what you want to do started listening instead of yelling and annie she
44:07blossomed confident happy i watched her laugh freely one day and felt this warmth in my chest i didn't get
44:15saved in my last life i suffered alone in the dark but this time i could save someone else i
44:22could stop
44:22another stella from happening maybe that's the gift my past life gave me the ability to see pain
44:28and to heal it when i was 10 my parents took me to visit grandma there was an old oak
44:34tree in her yard
44:35its branches spread wide casting shade over the whole garden i sat beneath it watching sunlight filter
44:41through the leaves my wolf dozed inside me warm and content then i saw her an old woman white hair
44:48hunched over a walking stick wearing a faded blue dress the second i saw her face i froze she looked
44:55exactly like rachel my old mother grandma noticed me too walked over slowly her eyes were hazy but there
45:03was something familiar in them something heavy what's your name child grace she repeated it softly grace
45:09that's a beautiful name she reached out like she wanted to touch my hair then hesitated pulled back
45:15like she was afraid of disturbing something sacred my mom came over studied her mom this is our
45:21daughter grace so she was my grandma in this life too over the next few days grandma watched me constantly
45:27her expression was unreadable one morning she brought me a bowl of roasted meat grace eat up this used to
45:33be
45:34your favorite i stared at the bowl in my last life i wrote in my dying breath i want to
45:39eat mom's roasted
45:40meat and here was grandma saying those exact words tears blurred my vision this wasn't some distant wish
45:47anymore it was real right in front of me i picked up a piece bit into it tender sweet perfect
45:54grandma
45:55smiled a tired guilty smile that night lying in bed with my wolf curled warm inside my chest i thought
46:02about rachel's last words next life let me wear the choker let me be the liar punish me however you
46:08want
46:08just don't leave me i thought about her final tear the torn journal i didn't hate her anymore
46:14hating someone is like locking yourself in the past chewing on pain forever this life's warmth had
46:20already washed away the bitterness i just felt sad sad that she only understood too late real love was
46:27never about stones or punishment we stayed for a month then went back home before i left she held my
46:33hand
46:33grace live well be happy her voice was soft but heavy with meaning i nodded you too grandma i watched
46:40her walk away and i felt nothing no anger no grief the grudges of my past life were like fallen
46:47leaves
46:47blown away by the wind i wasn't stella anymore the girl locked in the dark choking on a lie i
46:53was grace
46:54sterling surrounded by love free at 13 i graduated from pack school got into the best academy in the region
47:01my parents took me to the lake for a picnic to celebrate i stood at the edge of the water
47:05wind
47:06in my hair the scent of pine and cold water on my skin i stretched out my arms feeling the
47:12freedom
47:13for a moment i saw her my ghost self floating desperate to hug someone but passing right through
47:20grace what are you thinking dad handed me a drink i smiled just i'm grateful to be alive to be
47:27with you
47:27both mom pulled me into a hug silly girl we're the lucky ones no one said anything we all just
47:34shifted
47:34at the same time like we'd done it a hundred times before we ran together through the trees through the
47:40shallow edge of the lake water spraying silver around our paws eventually i slowed down turned and threw
47:47myself at them we tumbled into the grass together mom nuzzled her head against mine dad licked the top of
47:54my head with lazy affection i pressed into them both and stayed there breathing hard warm all the
48:01way through i looked up at the sky through the canopy of trees i didn't need to prove i wasn't
48:05a liar
48:06anymore i didn't need to fear a red light i could laugh cry speak freely i had parents who loved
48:13me a
48:13best friend a healthy body a bright future this was the life i died wishing for that night i wrote
48:20in my
48:21journal not the blood-stained confessions of my old life this one was full of happiness growth love i
48:28wrote today we ran by the lake mom and dad shifted with me without saying a word we tumbled in
48:34the grass
48:34like pups i thought about my past self that little girl locked in a room choking in the dark desperate
48:41to
48:41be loved she'd never believe that i could be this happy mom and dad love me they taught me that
48:47honesty
48:47isn't something you punish out of someone it's something you grow with patience and warmth annie
48:53is my best friend now she laughs freely she speaks without flinching grandma is getting older but her
49:01eyes are warm when she looks at me my wolf grows stronger every day with her beside me i feel
49:06at ease
49:07i don't hate anyone anymore i don't cling to the past those painful memories are like paw prints in the
49:13mud
49:14washed away by rain but they taught me to cherish every step forward i know my old mom sister and
49:21dad
49:21got what they deserved and i finally broke free i found real freedom i don't want to see them again
49:27i don't want to relive that life i just want to be gray simple happy loved the lake was beautiful
49:34life
49:35was beautiful i closed my journal looked out the window moonlight shimmered on the water through the
49:40trees my wolf stirred softly inside my chest warm steady i smiled this life i finally became who i
49:48wanted to be no red light no starvation no lies just love freedom happiness and those scars from my past
49:56they became part of me proof that i had survived proof that darkness no matter how long it lasts cannot
50:03swallow you whole not if you keep moving toward the light the road ahead is long but i will walk
50:08it with
50:09courage with joy towards something even brighter
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